tiny steps

Today morning while Jasmine was dropping Jispa off to school, she called me. Jispa has a question “is religion compulsory? Like is it compulsory to have a religion or in an official form you can leave it blank?”. Hmm interesting thought. “I dont know for sure, but I think its optional to have a religion, but many government forms and school forms don’t allow you to say ‘none’”. “but isn’t it my fundamental right to practice whatever religion I want; don’t we have that as a right?”. “well yes, you have but democratic society moves a little slow for this. See things move slowly. Earlier there was the ballot paper and people who dint want to vote for anyone, went and made two stamps on the paper, invalidating their vote. It was a form of protest in which they also got to the booth and ensured that no one cast a dummy vote on their behalf and they refused to choose amongst the crap. Once the electronic voting machines came in this was not possible and hence the NGOs lobbied for “none of the above”. So now you can press none of the above (NOTA) and exercise your right to vote for no one. Yes – right now, even if NOTA wins the majority, nothing will happen and the politician with the majority is still elected but slowly it will make an impact. It will embarrass people and who knows what this will entail in the future. Similarly, today on the Aadhar card, you can choose your sex as male, female or transgender. This is also a big thing in the long run. These are small steps for now that will have greater impact. Democratic society moves slow but it moves with the collective will of the people. Things today will have impact tomorrow. While you were always free to be an atheist, people happily just put in their father’s religion in the form. Now it will slowly change.” Then I remembered and recounted a story of a friend of mine who married inter caste and had a kid. They fought a lot with the authorities and left the religion on the birth certificate blank.

Read story here http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Repository/ml.asp?Ref=VE9JTS8yMDA5LzEyLzI3I0FyMDAxMDQ

Yes, democracy moves slowly and that is by design. It’s also something to do with collective will and conscience of the people. Jispa and I went to see the Guardians of the Galaxy 2. We now see super hero movies without torturing Jasmine. It’s been a great thing to have father daughter time outs watching these action movies. Before the movie starts in India, the national anthem is played. This has been a source of much dispute with the liberals objecting to this jingoism and some refusing to stand up. It is after all not mandatory to stand during the national anthem (its hugely controversial). This has issues with the law and the jealous jingots using force on the rationals. So before this movie – one guy was sitting down and he was obviously a foreigner. Jispa looked at me and spoke to me on that. I explained that “yup, you have a choice to stand or sit but yes, the rest of the populace will jam your happiness if you don’t. But more importantly, it is a question of collective conscience. I may not stand for the anthem but I also realize that I am in India and that this small act of sitting is disrespectful to my hosts. Yes, choose to sit that’s ok. But being insensitive about it in public is a bit of a wrong thing to do. Of course we shouldn’t be on our part too irritated about it. He should understand and we should as well. Intolerance towards people sitting is the worst.”

I don’t pray but I also respect that people believe in the stone that placed in the middle of the sanctum sanctorum and I must appreciate that. I must behave in line with the custom, if I choose to be a part of it. If not, I can exercise my choice and sit at home. Mere misguided rebelliousness if no use to society.

I think I have come a long way. When I was young, I wanted to join the army and fight for my country. Then I would stand anywhere, even alone, when the national anthem was being played. I hated local societies as local political shit shat. Today I have done a complete volte face. Now I am a non-believer in the concept of nation hood and a complete believer in local societies. The impact is greatest when local. Local societies can do much more to change their life and that of their progeny than what nation states can do. And that is granted to them by the construct of the law. Change happens in small things and in small steps. It takes the bearings of age to temper the brute of youth. Things are not what they seem and solutions are never what immediately occur to you. Multiple sides, angles and implications are required to understand the impact of anything. It takes effort and sometimes – inaction. Breathe.

Where is your aggression?

What is aggression?

Going out and showing outwardly aggression. Showing off your anger. Pushing people, pumping fist, hitting hard shots. What is aggression?

I admit. I instinctively belong to the conventional wisdom of aggression. Trying hard and pumping fast. Show your aggression. Show your anger. Show your intent. Make it count. By nature I am an aggressive person. I used to use aggression to push myself in various situations. It helped me get my first job. They put us in a group and gave us topics for a group discussion. They also told us ‘kill the other guy if you need to but make your point and let it be heard’. What else would I want? That was all the invitation I needed. I pumped hard and maxed the discussions. Talking loud when chaos looms was my specialty.

But what got you here would not get you there. My age perhaps and my experience for sure has helped me change my aggression. I would say temper it… I would say change the way it manifests. A strong defensive shot is also aggression. Cricket has taught me that leaving the ball outside off stump is also aggression. In badminton, placing the shuttle quietly is also aggression.  Trusting yourself and pushing yourself in way that no one sees is also aggression.

See this video

I love this video. It typifies for me all that is aggression. All that is right and wrong about aggression. The Singaporean is outwardly aggressive. He is hitting the ball hard and fast. He is dominating the rally, but look at the Nigerian. He is focused on putting the ball back. Simply knocking it back into the table. Shot – Tap – Hard Shot – Tap – Harder Shot – Tap. No matter how far you are pushed and how less you dominate the game, finally the aggression can be simply in putting the ball back.

If you see his focus and see his anticipation and see how he released his pumped up aggression after the shot, you will realize that this sports person is as aggressive as the Singaporean. Not less. That is the aggression I am trying hard for.

Aggression that has no visual cue. Aggression that is internal. Aggression that has meaning. Aggression  that is not self-destructing.

It’s not that I can preach because I have achieved this. I haven’t. God knows I haven’t. But I am trying hard. Real hard. I have learnt it’s always better to be internally aggressive than externally so. But its  a Buddha state,  so painstakingly impossible to achieve. But the best way to achieve it is to have someone as a counterfoil. If you want to teach someone to not be aggressive then you have to not be so yourself and that helps you realize what it is to be such and what it takes. Teaching has helped me with many such instances. When I took up the teaching assignment around12 years ago I did not know it would permanently change me so.  I have become a teacher in class and in office and at home. It has helped me in many ways that I cant really understand or fathom. But surely it has helped me channelize my famous ‘doshi’ temper as my mom calls it.

My mom still thinks I have the doshi temper, possibly because she sees the temper. The aggression in me still. It may be masked for others but for my mom it may be just a different mifestation of the aggression. To her I may have never reduced my aggression. Possibly she is right. Aggression is core to me. I cannot possibly change it. can I fight genetics, but I can surely change the way it comes out. Aggression that is internal as the Nigerian showed can be different, useful and even heart warming. The goal is to reach there, inch by inch!

Inch by inch. Here is the other more glamorous side of aggression. This is what people call aggression and movies like these promote the notion of aggression that leads to results! Possibly it works as its easier to inculcate and transfer. But I doubt if this aggression is what leads to results. Matches and competitions are won in the head and not with your arms and limbs. They are there after years of practice but what makes you win – it’s the head.

Inch by inch –

Now listen to this as well….

This is also highly motivational. One could argue that this is what motivates people.

On the face of it this completely debunks everything I have said. But I would argue otherwise. I think this completely proves everything that I have said. The champion lies inside me. It is me. It is for me to figure what I have to do to be the champion. And more than anything, if I have to win I have to have belief in myself and in my ability – because who am I? I am a champion!

See the video below – the same wordings being used at possibly a talk before the game. Possibly to push the players.

But if you are losing and on a losing streak would this be something you want to mumble. I would argue not. But if you are a strong team and you love each other and back each other, you would scream this out even if you were losing. This I argue is nothing but a war cry, a chant that makes you feel like a team, because you shout out something in unison. It is a bonding ritual and it gets you going (it definitely gets me going) because we are at heart the hunter gatherer, the team that works together and fights together, because you can only hunt if you are a pack. Alone a hunter is often just simply dead! This riual makes you a part of a team. A team that is ready to perform and support you and fight for you, with you. But it doesn’t take away the fact (actually it’s an opinion) that the game is internal and in your head! And your head is better off knowing that if you do your job you have your team to back you up while they do theirs!

how do you say ghyeun tak in French?

There is so much you can learn from people. Especially if the people who you meet come from different backgrounds than yours. There is a great cultural exchange and it leaves everybody much richer. I blogged about this some days back – when we got friendly with our French neighbor - Andy. She was this massive lady who was in India on a secondment and was with us for 6 months. We only got to know her in the last two months and got pretty friendly. She was sweet and she was open. Open to sharing and open to learning. When both collide it makes for a great conversation.

We had good fun moments along the way as well. I realized by talking to her how racist we can get. She spoke about how being a racist is frowned upon and in meetings it is a complete no no. I realized that one has to try and stop being a racist everywhere to be truly neutral. In one office meeting one guy very insensitively spoke about the M word. A lot of us if office are actually racist and see Muslims as different from ‘us’ all. They give into the hype and they are completely taken in by it. When I was much younger I have seen the Mumbai riots and I fell to the fallacy of us versus them. It took me many years to come out and tell myself and the world – screw you. Stop being a racist. I keep arguing that it’s not a religious issue but for many it’s a social issue. The marginalized take to crime and brotherhood as they probably have no other option. If they are given stability and opportunity, crime will automatically fall. In every city there is a pocket of crime and marginalization. The more we propagate the cliché the more it will stick. It becomes self-fulfilling prophesy. In meetings I see people talk loosely about it. In one meeting a senior person spoke disparagingly about Muslims. It was just after my many conversations with Andy where she spoke about ticking a colleague off for being racist. Inspired I ticked him off – I told him you are being a racist. The conversation ended. I think it’s a start. This will take time but people will have to realize not be so. There are different people in this world. Their culture may differ from yours. It is up to us to be sensitive to all of them. To embrace this difference and enjoy them. It’s tough at many times, but to accept and to enjoy the difference is the first step to growing up and learning.

I keep looking out for titles to watch with Jispa. I want her to expand her scope of films to enjoy. So I think about movies I watched as a kid and try to get her to enjoy them. One such movie was Escape through Victory. Almost everyone my age and above would remember this movie. It was a Doordarshan favorite. English movies would be played typically on Friday evening at around 10. This movie was about a POW camp in WW2. Here the POWs have a match with the German national team to prove to the Germans themselves about the Aryan supremacy. With Stallone as a goalie and Pele playing a role as well, the movie quickly achieved cult status when I was a kid. I remember Pele doing a bicycle kick to score. So when I saw it at the library I brought it home. We called Andy to watch it along with us. Andy hails from Lyon in France and it seems Lyon was the base for the underground resistance during the German occupation in WW2. Andy’s family was also involved and at some level a few were even captured and executed. So her perspective was very real and very vivid as compared to anything I might have heard or read before. About how after her grand mom’s death, they found a cupboard stacked full of sugar. She knew that in war Sugar will be heavily rationed, the spectre of the cold war always loomed. In the movie at the end, thanks to the brutal German play and the one sided referring, the crowd goes behind the POW team and they start singing. Thanks to Andy after all these years I understood the significance of the act. Andy started singing along with them. They started singing the French national Anthem.

Then Andy explained the anthem (La Marseillaise) to us. And wow what a rousing violent anthem it is. Here is one part:

Grab your weapons, citizens!
Form your batallions!
Let us march! Let us march!
May impure blood
Water our fields

No wonder you can sing it at a football pitch and expect the team to kill and maim. In contrast the Indian anthem plays on as an ode to peace brotherhood and harmony. Not that I have anything against it but it’s not what I want to play and listen and imbibe before a sports event. You would need a different song.

And immediately I was in charge of doing an anthem for the Puneri Paltan kabaddi team. My brief to the lyrists and composer was simple – the French national anthem. I want the people to feel the passion, the beat the lyrics must inspire to kill , to attack and to maim… no brother hood here.

An excerpt:

Kasske pakkad,
jamm ke jhappat,
Todun, modun, gheyun taak!

The song came out amazing and then I spoke to Andy about it and told her how she inspired me to do this song!

Once the video comes out, I will put it up.

But its fun to have learnt so much and already begun to apply it everywhere… that’s the fun of cultures crossing and meeting. And our elders, idiots that they are still insist on opposing cross cultural love marriages…

…

Full French anthem and the Puneri Paltan anthem as follows.

La Marseillaise

Let's go children of the fatherland,
The day of glory has arrived!
Against us tyranny's
Bloody flag is raised! (repeat)
In the countryside, do you hear
The roaring of these fierce soldiers?
They come right to our arms
To slit the throats of our sons, our friends!

Refrain

Grab your weapons, citizens!
Form your batallions!
Let us march! Let us march!
May impure blood
Water our fields!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This horde of slaves, traitors, plotting kings,
What do they want?
For whom these vile shackles,
These long-prepared irons? (repeat)
Frenchmen, for us, oh! what an insult!
What emotions that must excite!
It is us that they dare to consider
Returning to ancient slavery!

What! These foreign troops
Would make laws in our home!
What! These mercenary phalanxes
Would bring down our proud warriors! (repeat)
Good Lord! By chained hands
Our brows would bend beneath the yoke!
Vile despots would become
The masters of our fate!

Tremble, tyrants! and you, traitors,
The disgrace of all groups,
Tremble! Your parricidal plans
Will finally pay the price! (repeat)
Everyone is a soldier to fight you,
If they fall, our young heros,
France will make more,
Ready to battle you!

Frenchmen, as magnanimous warriors,
Bear or hold back your blows!
Spare these sad victims,
Regretfully arming against us. (repeat)
But not these bloodthirsty despots,
But not these accomplices of Bouillé,
All of these animals who, without pity,
Tear their mother's breast to pieces!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sacred love of France,
Lead, support our avenging arms!
Liberty, beloved Liberty,
Fight with your defenders! (repeat)
Under our flags, let victory
Hasten to your manly tones!
May your dying enemies
See your triumph and our glory!

Refrain

We will enter the pit
When our elders are no longer there;
There, we will find their dust
And the traces of their virtues. (repeat)
Much less eager to outlive them
Than to share their casket,
We will have the sublime pride
Of avenging them or following them!

Refrain

--

Puneri Paltan theme song

Eh kass ke pakkad,
jamm ke jhappat,
todun, phodun, gheyun taak!

Kabbadi kabbadi Kabbadi kabbadi (2)

Kab kab kab Kabbadi kabbadi
Kab kab kab Kabbadi kabbadi
Kab kab kab Kabbadi kabbadi

Eh Puneri Paltan aaliiiii (tutaari)

Arre chodenge na…
arre modenge ha…

Hey chodenge na…
arre modenge ha..
inn lakeeron se aagein hai apna jahaan (2)

Rokein humein,
aisa kissmein hai dum,
na bacchega koi,
mitti ki kassam…

Chyaa maaila gheyun tak!
eh sodu nakko!
ek phodun tak!

(Chorus)
Kasske pakkad,
jamm ke jhappat,
Todun, modun, gheyun taak! (3)

Aasma kar dekhle,
kiss mein kitna zor hain,
Chingaariyaan nahi,
hum bhaddakti aag hai!

Ragon mein daudti, (hey)
zidd jeet ki, (hey)
bas khel hi nahi
yeh mahayudh hai (2)

Chyaa maaila gheyun tak!
Kasske pakkad,
jamm ke jhappat,
Todun, modun, gheyun taak! (3)

Puneri Puneri Puneri Puneri (2)
eh majhi Puneri Paltan aali aali re (4)

Todun, modun, gheyun taak!