I still find it queer (pun unintended) that a lot of us
educated people are also homophobic. My favorite rejoinder is when people talk
about how in today’s generation, we will have to accept whatever cast or creed the
person who our kids choose as their life partners. I correct them to ‘yes, also
whatever the sex of their partner is’. Invariably I get a slight pause. The person
looks at me, catches my eye for a few seconds and tries to ascertain if I was
cracking a joke or something. Nopes – no response. It’s obviously not cool to
be a homophobic. So in the face of a high moral ground taken, the other guy
invariably is silent. Yes I have a daughter and yes I am ok to the choice of
her partner. Surely I will freak out if she chooses a druggie or someone I consider
completely dumb. Also it’s another story that I am likely to find anyone who
has an IQ slightly lower than Einstein as dumb especially if that person is
dating my daughter. But definitely the sex bit is out of the equation.
So if it’s a senior person I am talking to – I always learnt
to give that person an exit hatch. I allow that person to wiggle out of a potential
wedge. So this time I allowed for – it will take one more generation for us to
accept same sex marriage as it will take this generation to accept inter cast
marriage. Hehe.
Allowing an exit hatch in a conversation is something I have
learnt over a period of time. Especially when you have the benefit of strong
insight or knowledge behind you or simply you have a strong enough counter
opinion. Life is too short to fight over
such small issues such as a humble opinion. So many times I actively try getting
an outlet. So I explain how the other point of view is valid and likely to be
the right one or search for an excuse to honorably exit. Too many wars have
been fought over petty ego issues.
There was one other incident somewhere related to this
issue. I was being wooed for a job by a senior person recently. I declined but
was happy to recommend a friend. The friend then told me that while having a
conversation with the senior guy, the senior guy referred to me as ‘The Buddha’.
To my mind there is no better compliment than that. Especially considering the
fact that I have consciously worked on this. I laughed and told the friend that
if you were to tell my mom something like this then my mom would burst out
laughing. Jaimit a Buddha? HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH. I told my wife about the incident
and guess what – she almost spat out her coffee and started laughing. ‘you a Buddha?’
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Sure. That’s the drift. Dam you guys!
Being a Buddha doesn’t come easily. You need economy of
motion and expression and mental thought. The ability to leave things there
while simultaneously trying to change them. That did not make sense did it –
then it is a buddha’ism. But seriously that word struck me serious. I managed
to, in some small tiny way, achieve a balance in my persona and achieved for
however a fleeting moment – the concept of the Buddha. It felt really really
nice. A lot of that comes in meetings when you don’t fight on ego and when you
allow the honorable exit in meetings and discussion and then when you take
people’s opinion and try and forge a consensus. And people like me – die a
thousand deaths in the process. It is unnatural and difficult. But I am still gloating
about the fact that someone referred to me as the Buddha. However fleeting a moment
– you live in it for eternity… a ha that’s another one that didn’t make any sense…
or did it.
And just a verse from William Blake. I recently read it and
hence the show off
To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
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