laments of a generation

Her first swim medal. Ok, she has won before but this is her first real medal. Yesterday we were at one hastily organized swim meet. This was a state level meet but the under 10’s were there as fillers for the real champions. In any case the competition wasn’t too much. Quite a few swimmers stayed away. She clocked 41 for the freestyle 50 meter bronze. So technically she is the third fastest swimmer in the state as of the last held state meet.
Jispa has been improving her swimming every day. Serious swimmers have a language and a body language of their own. They are talking seconds. She comes in one day and tells me I hit19, then the other day she says “dad, today I hit 18”. She is talking about 25 meters freestyle. Then some more number about butterfly, or 50 meters or something or the other. It’s a completely different thing that turns them on. Also when you see the swimmers at a contest also, they are a different breed. Their bodies are al tanned and skin is burnt to a crisp toast. The hair is short or tied tightly. The abs is ripped and lean muscular frame is everywhere. The champs have a v structure that is hard to miss and the shoulders are strong and neck is tough. It’s a perfect body structure. It’s pretty much a reality check for me. In office I would just need to look around to feel superior. Everyone (almost everyone ) is pretty much unfit. The tummies are out and the flexibility is missing. Some guys seem to be naturally fit and can manage their bodies but for the vast majority, a 100 meter dash would be a herculean task. And I am not joking or being smug about it. This is the truth. That is the reason why at 36 my corporate cricket is still alive. I was never too good at cricket. The others deteriorated much faster than me. That’s enough to keep me going. And I don’t know if this is just the things that people lament without a real basis but I do feel that the younger ones coming out right now are much less fitter than we were. Somehow they can’t run or play as much. I don’t even see enough of these guys playing cricket like we used to.
Vacation time meant a kick ass killer schedule. We woke up at 7 to play badminton or something. That lasted till around 10. Then we went home and ate and then met at a friend’s place to play a few board games from 1 till 4. And then from 4 till bad light was cricket. And I even remember playing cricket clustered around a single building light. Enough to play high intensity low level touch cricket. You could barely survive a few balls with five fielders hounding you. Full action.Also there were no computer games and only 60 minutes of programming that you could really watch on TV. And that too was at around 8 pm.
Now the new thing is the iPad or the iTouch. I didn’t want the device till when someone gifted the iTouch to me. It is fun downloading the games and playing but we saw one interesting side effect. Jispa now gets bored far more often than before. Our routines are the same. We roam around as much, go out as much. But now whenever there is any waiting time, out comes the phrase “I am bored”. It basically means “please give me the ipod”. Oh come off it. It irks me no end. Waiting at a dinner table “I am bored”, at a clinic “I am bored”, at the swim meet between events “I am bored”. Arrgghhh. I have warned Jispa now, quite seriously – “IF I LISTEN TO THE STATEMENT, I AM BORED EVEN ONCE MORE, THEN I WILL THROW THE IPOD OUT OF THE WINDOW. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET IT, IF YOU ARE BORED. IF YOU WANT IT ASK. WE WILL THINK ABOUT IT. BUT NO MORE – I AM BORED”. iPod and the iPads are gaming devices that look like computers. The killer app is the games you put in. One friend was telling us that there are nice games in the iPad that are good and intellectually stimulating for the child. Ya sure. And what are they likely to play – a ninja that jumps from building to building. Its much like what a friend once told me – you need cable TV at home. There are interesting channels like discovery and national geographic. Ya sure. But what are they likely to consume – cartoon network!
The kid with the device assumes control over the others. He or she plays the games first and sets the rules for the others. It reminded me of the days when we played cricket. The kid with the bat or the ball couldn’t be given out easily. He was always the guy who made the rules, or influenced them to a large extent. His mother basically set the timings for all of us. If he was called in to do homework, there goes our game. He would be protected by us all. Only joint contributions for the ball and bat brought a semblance of control to the equation. In our time pocket money was really scarce and bats and balls and other equipment was not really something that all parents bought.
I think over time the incomes rose to include these expenses and slowly there were enough of them roaming around. Today’s royalty are ones with the iPads. I guess things change. No I guess nothing really changes.
The more things change the more the same they are.

teewee

Yesterday we had some time to kill at a friend’s place. In fact a lot of time to kill. Our friend put me in front of a TV to try and make me feel comfortable. Since my TV viewing is pretty much zero thanks to the absence of the idiot box in our home, I assumed and I am sure she would have assumed as well that I might be happy to get what in scare supply in my routine life.
Sitting cozy with two remotes, one for the TV and one for the set top box (STB) I was set for a couple of hours of pure time pass. Hmmm. Lets see. The STB was there to make my life great. The programs neatly categorized. The schedule all there to select. You even know which movie is going on at the time. ya ya…. This is all old news. I know. It seems the lead company alone has put in over a million STB’s in the market. I have fiddled with this a few times in the past to know my way around. Though I keep pressing the wrong buttons from time to time and get to some vague place from which I attempt recovery. The common mistake being surfing channels from the TV remote and pressing the channel change instead of eth volume. There are also a plethora of complex errors that I make. These I will continue to make as these are highly random in nature and are uncomprehensible. In other words I have no idea how I made the errors and hence I have no idea how I will learn enough from them not to repeatthem. That’s the fun part.
Great – something interesting on the science channels. Ok. Same old stuff. Lets try the geographic channels, then the history channels. Oh bloody bore. Movies? Anything interesting on? Hmmm. The English ones? Nopes… pretty boring – cant make out types. Hindi ones? What shit? This one is South Indian dubbed into hindi one. Ok this another I remember – Shahenshah. A movie from my school days. Real crappy. My god.
Sports channels then. India just won the test – are the highlights on? Yah yah… I am in for luck. The schedule shows that the highlights are on. Flip to the channel. Errr… Indian derby? WTF. Who watches Indian derby? Where are the highlights? I am surely at the right channel. The schedule also confirms. Drat. Ok some other cricket happening. The T20 matches in Australia. That’s cool. Lets watch, it might be fun. Oh shit a disastrous run chase and a hopelessly one sided match, but have we, Kieron Pollard. The highly explosive west Indian is in the team. Now that’s fun. He smashes some unbelievable shots with one landing on the roof. This is getting better. Bam, he is caught in the deep. Match almost over. Anything else?
Change change change change change… flip flip flip flip…. This seems like some distant memory. Yes. I remember this. Evening time. a remote in hand, complete boredom, going the whole range of channels and getting nothing to see. The last time this happened to me was four years ago… at my mom’s house. Nothing’s changed. The only difference is that now I know exactly what the name of the program is before getting bored. Yes. Some things have changed I guess.
I pull the trigger and get out of the room to see the kids and my wife enjoying playing I spy in those amazing books. So much more fun. I should have pressed the dam red button much earlier.
For the last few weeks I have been thinking about the TV and the STB in the house. Is it really bad not to have it at home. Are we being luddites? Yesterday I found my answer. A resounding doubtless no. the shit is not worth having or listening to. Get out of the house, get a book, talk around. Anything anything except have a TV infront of you. Throw the bloody thing out of the window. See it crash, break into a billion pieces. Enjoy the spectacle.
That is a bit radical. But seriously get the cable off from the TV. I have been seriously thinking of getting a TV or a projector home. But never cable. When we have the time we could watch a movie, or catch some documentary or some decent serials. Basically remove the constantly on boredom to some specific entertainment. But it is a big step for now. We are content without it. It will come in some day. I am not going to be tyrannical about it. But for now it can’t. For one – we have no space for it :) . hopefully when we have more space, or more money … a theatre room would be awesome.
For some reason I am reminded of a Bruce Springsteen song. Its an old one. Can you guess which one I am referring to..



Here are the lyrics
57 CHANNELS (AND NOTHIN' ON)©
I bought a bourgeois house in the Hollywood hills
With a truckload of hundred thousand dollar bills
Man came by to hook up my cable TV
We settled in for the night my baby and me
We switched 'round and 'round 'til half-past dawn
There was fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on

Well now home entertainment was my baby's wish
So I hopped into town for a satellite dish
I tied it to the top of my Japanese car
I came home and I pointed it out into the stars
A message came back from the great beyond
There's fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on

Well we might'a made some friends with some billionaires
We might'a got all nice and friendly if we'd made it upstairs
All I got was a note that said "Bye-bye John
Our love's fifty-seven channels and nothin' on"
(Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on)

So I bought a .44 magnum, it was solid steel cast
And in the blessed name of Elvis well I just let it blast
'Til my TV lay in pieces there at my feet
And they busted me for disturbin' the almighty peace
Judge said "What you got in your defense son?"
"Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on"
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on

I can see by your eyes friend you're just about gone
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and...

The boss got it right. But I guess throwing it out of the window would come a close second to the buying a .44 magnum and letting it blast. Actually it depends. The slow motion of the TV falling from height (at least ten floors recommended) might remain with you longer the sound and recoil of the .44 magnum. Haha. I can see by your eyes, friend that you’re just about gone…

how bored can i be in office?