Jasmine was called to school the other day as Jispa was
feeling quite unwell. She had cramps in the stomach and it was paining quite a
bit. When the Jasmine rushed to school, the sister first thought it was a case
of an anxiety attack. An anxiety attack? For what joy? The physics exam was
scheduled and possibly that was a trigger. Jasmine told the sister that is
seriously unlikely and Jispa is not like that. Of course it was something else
that we got treated with the doctor. But I don’t let Jispa hear the end of it.
I keep asking her just to irritate her on how her anxiety attack is doing.
Hehehe. Evil father.
Yetserday while going to school, we were talking. She was
talking about how some of the kids in the class actually get an anxiety attack
before exams and they get all stressed about exams. I had her about how she
felt. “No I don’t feel stresses before an exam because you taught me not to.
You always told me not to worry before an exam. Whatever will be will be”. Yes
I did teach her that.
I was telling her that when I was her age and before and
after, the only thing that my parents knew was that education was the ticket to
prosperity. In many ways they were right. That era did not have so many options
that you can pursue without necessarily being highly educated. Her class is
full of kids of parents who have achieved a lot or are ambitious. Me – I am not
too ambitious. I am aggressive but not that ambitious. Yes I want you do well,
and I want to do well myself, but only as so much as to put a decent meal on
the table and to enjoy the simple happy life. I don’t see myself as ambitious
as the others in office. I don’t want my ambition to be Jispa’s ambition.
Ambition was something that I had when I was in college and
when I was doing my MBA. I then realized (when I don’t know) that ambition
takes a huge toll on people and the family around it. It nice to be ambitious
but all ambition comes with consequences. Who pays for these consequences is a
million dollar question. You pay for sure, but your family and your peers also
pay for it. Happiness comes from making life smaller not bigger.
Of all the things, I want for Jispa is for her time with us
to be happy. I want her to think of her growing up as more fun than anything
else. Yes, it should be full of learning but not be burdened by it. I grew up
with the pressure of exams and it stayed with me till late. I didn’t want that
for her. There will be enough and more things to be stressed about, of all
things exams shouldn’t be. Right now she is still a bit carefree about exams as
she doesn’t hold the pressure of expectations as much. But later on when she
puts a lot into her studies with the burden of her own expectations then it
would be a different ball game all together, that’s when the penny drops or the
cookie crumbles? It should be fun to see.
No I don’t want her to be so stressed about it at all. I
want her to enjoy her life. She should be able to follow her heart and take
risks in life. She should be able to tell her boss to take a hike and she
should be able to take off and see the world.
I keep telling her that life is a series of experiences that
one needs to have to complete. The more varied the better. Right now, Jasmine
and me are tempted to get into another long term investment commitment. But I
am done! NO. I want to now spend the next 4 years with the ability to get Jispa
to try and try different things, explore new places and enjoy life. In any
case, at 42, I don’t have the same desire for adventure that I had at 22. I
would die to jump out of a plane in a parachute. It’s nice, but not on the top
of my list for now. So I also realize
that right now what I have as desires will be different from when I what I will
have ten years from now.
So for the first time, I am keeping my immediate priorities
over the longer term ones. It’s interesting to grow older and see for yourself how
your own priorities have changed or are in the process of changing.
On another completely different note: today I had the
pleasure of watching / reading two pieces of journalism. One was a straight
piece from a journalist who interviewed my previous boss and completely exposed
his ideas. It was serious stuff. In the startup industry when everybody is
going into a gold rush and refusing to look at data that is staring them in the
face, it takes someone to get up and call the bluff, tell that the emperor is
naked. Startups are great at innovation and trying new things but that does not
automatically mean they are successful. In fact a lot of them are going to die.
They will not survive because mere disruption is not the recipe for success.
Success requires a lot of other things, the ability to manage people, the
environment, the ability to adapt at various points of time and good old bull headedness.
My previous boss was a good sales guy but at some time he over reached and
things got weird. Someday, much later I will write about my experience. There are
important reasons why I must not open my mouth now. Firstly – right now I am likely
to be more critical than what is warranted and secondly the ability for time to
give me perspective. Things were in a haze, they move fast in a startup. You end
up with a lot of emotions when you refuse to see the writing on the wall and before
you know it, things have moved under your feet. Secondly – time also gives you
wisdom. It helps you see things in a better perspective. My last job wasn’t bad
at all. It’s only towards the end things got weird. If you want bad jobs, the
first one that I ever did was bad. And that too after twenty years I look on
with sanguine eyes. I don’t blame anyone and it was in many ways a great learning
experience.
Coming back – the piece was interesting and insightful. Not to
me – I knew the whole story but to a lay reader I would imagine it to be very
interesting. The journo got her facts right as well as her research and balance.
It was for the first time, and after a long time an article that was worth
reading. Normally I see journos just write whatever the spokesperson blurts out
and reports it verbatim. It’s stupid and I stopped reading the papers thanks to
these jokers. But this piece was especially well written. Good journalism is to
tell the emperor that he naked and that he has no clothes on. This one exposed
all the stupid venture capital guys who invest on a slide deck that loks pretty
and has little logic. Some basic assumptions go out for a toss and things go
horribly wrong, horribly. The debris from the hubris will be paid for in the
form of broken careers and human costs.
But then that doesn’t go on balance sheets, does it?
The other way to tell the emperor is to use the court
jester. Here you can joke away and sing a song but still criticize the ruler in
way that no one can take offence. Right now an actress Kangana Ranaut is
staying in the news by carrying the flag of women independence and taking a
stand against nepotism. This wouldn’t work for long in Bollywood. Slowly but
surely, the doors will close in on her as she gets isolated. I have argued for
nepotism as a commercial call in Bollywood. Nepotism exists as it commercially
viable, but that is a story for another day. But for now, she is seen in this
video which takes massive potshots at the male star culture, nepotism and the
never aging male hero who romances women 30 years younger! Without my comment
on the same topic, here, look at the video – worth watching
Of course this chick is very smart. She knows how to stay in
the news before her movie. But it’s still an awesome watch! And it has a valid
role in a society.. a very valid and important role!
