hope makes the world go around

Teaching has a new meaning these days for me. Jispa started coming for my lectures. That is crazy awesome. I have taught for so many years for the joy of teaching but also for a secret joy – of being able to teach Jispa. Of course, she doesn’t open her mouth in class but she sits through and tries to understand what all I have to teach. It fires me up no end.

My lectures are at 11 am on Saturday. This gives me the perfect schedule, to wake up, fix myself an awesome coffee and then attack the college. It’s a perfect start to the week end.

Practicing what I preach, every lectures starts with a test that I have designed on Google forms (thanks to another young friend who comes along) on a topic that I have given a note in advance. Then on we talk about the paper / questions etc and take it forward. This is something surprisingly that the students feel happy about. They want tests. They want to read and come to class and wonder what’s happening.

The last time around I gave them an assignment to see the movie – The Founder. This was on the McDonalds founder, Ray Croc. It was an outstanding movie and they showed brilliantly how the original founders – the McDonald brothers, invented the fast food restaurant business but couldn’t scale it. It showed how Ray Croc scaled the business and also how he needed to do some accounting jugglery as well. Ray couldn’t make too much money off the restaurant and hence to scale it an account advised him to move into the real estate space. He bought/leased the land and then sublet to the franchisee for a higher fee, plus the franchisee revenue from sales. This allowed for a crazy increase in expansion rate.

What I loved about the movie was how they clearly explained how the brothers invented the system by killing a lot of unnecessary processes and items that stopped it from becoming efficient. And how Ray Croc understood that and while he had major run ins with the brothers, as regards the business proposition, the brothers were essentially right and had gotten the efficiency formula perfect. He kept that alive.

This was, to my mind an awesome movie and the perfect movie for watching for the young kids who want to understand management. Its typically very easy to do various different things but very difficult to focus on one thing alone.

So, I give them some stuff to read or watch and then come to class, dur9ng which I give a small multiple choice test. This test is something that kids can take from their mobile phones anywhere. The time given to the test is also very tight and the test has around 6-9 questions which are given in random order. Hence, it’s very difficult to copy as well. Even if two kids are sitting next to each other, its near impossible to copy and take help. If the time pressure is so high that you barely have time to think and read the questions, you have no time to help or copy in a randomized test.

I love the class as I am prepared on what to talk and then we discuss various elements. That Jispa is present just simply makes it even more stressful for me. I want to do better for her. I want her to enjoy the experience. I want to discuss stuff with her. She too is very keen to understand and learn from me. She was missing one class but she insisted that I explain to her what I had missed and that she could catch up. That’s nice. That’s the best way to know if I am making sense. My teen age daughter likes to attend my lectures, that’s my ultimate vote of confidence. I was telling Jasmine that no matter what, possibly blood is thicker than water. I love teaching and I love my lectures. I do it for enjoyment and not for money. But you add my daughter into the equation and the pressure and pleasure goes up. Funny. Or possibly not so, in hindsight.

I write writing blogs but because Jispa is now grown up and I have so many conversations with her and she understands the issues, when it comes to writing the blog, many times I stare at a blank screen. What to write when the main motivation is outside of the process.

Recently Jispa told me that there are only 6 months more. More for what, I asked? For me to be 15. And then? And then to read your blog. Oh! Is that? Yes, she reminded me. I had promised her that I would allow her to read my blog when she turns 15. My god. Time did fly. I was quiet. She then said “you don’t remember promising, do you. You thought I would just forget eh. Well I have not and you will give me the blog to read on my 15^th birthday”. Of course. Of course. Surely, I will give her the blog to read. I wrote it for more than ten years for this moment. Will I continue to write afterwards, I hope so, but it will be interesting to write knowing that your kids will read it instantly :)

It will be an interesting birthday gift to her. A little more than 10 years in the making. Wow. Such a big thing from such a small start. I wonder how she will read it, from the start, randomly, will she get bored, will she come back and ask clarifications, kick my ass for what I have written or done, will she cry on a few blogs, will she understand, will she jump in joy, will it give her solace in trouble? My big one is the last one. I may be around or not, but I hope whatever I have written will someday assist her in some sort of way. Hope.

Its not funny

Vir Das is a standup comic. I had seen him on stage many years ago and I thought he was definitely unfunny. Now many years later he now has gained popularity and is now doing paid solo shows. That’s cool but I don’t see any reason why I should go for the show.

So when our friends planned ado together to see the show I was definitely unamused to start with. Why would I pay to see Vir Das. For those of you who are wondering – Vir Das moment of glory came when was a supporting actor in the movie Delhi Belly. He was good in the movie and  could act as far as I saw it. But still – arrghh… I don’t like comic acts and I can barely tolerate them as fillers between shows. They are not funny enough.

Grudgingly, after irritating and chewing jasmine’s ears for agreeing to go, we went for the show. I then realized that the ticket prices were 1000 bucks a head. SHIT. F&^% Y*&. ARRRGGHHHH. I hate this group thing. The how was designed as ‘the battle of da sexes’. So they kept the ladies seated in one half of the auditorium and the men in the other half. And then he started. To be fair to him. I think he has matured a lot now. He is much better than when I first saw him years ago. He brings a fair amount of energy on stage and to his performance. He talks well and his jokes are ok with a few funny ones. He probably spares no one in his castigation. But I refused to understand how the people when gaga at him and after the show. What’s there to gaga?

I do that all the time. Come in to see my lectures some time. They are the same type of jokes. You play one set of audiences over the other – typically male v/s female an then you support one and thrash the other. In the middle catch some unsuspecting member of the audience and pass a few jokes on him. I do that to one special character in my class all the time. this special character is typically one sweet guy who is usually loved by all but is made fun of and generally works as a good sport. People came out and were speaking about the energy for two three hours and how that is not easy. Well come over. I have had 6 and a half hour lectures and I still scream and shout and crack jokes while discussing serious marketing. It happens all the time.

Ya sure it’s a performance. And surely its nice but I STILL DON’T LIKE PAYING 2,000 BUCKS FOR IT. PERIOD. It’s like this thing where I hate paying full price for a shirt and other stuff. I know its the marketing that’s taking most of the money away so I like hunting for deals and like paying less. My marketing ego can’t let me buy most of the stuff. The same reason I hate business magazines and newspapers. They too are completely manipulated by the business houses. I know what we do in PR. The quality of journalism is bad thanks to the deteriorating quality of journalists. Most journalists don’t understand the domain and only rely on press briefings to take them through. Very little homework and absolute lack of understanding. Who wants to read that crap anymore? Especially if you have seen eth back rooms from where PR operates.

So that’s why I hated the experience. But it was a full house. All seats sold. And people were laughing a lot. I genuinely laughed on a few jokes as well. But still at the end I was bored on the moderate side.

I asked Jasmine and Jispa, if they remember my lectures. They have attended a few. Don’t I perform like that? I make the class laugh a lot and have fun. I crack jokes all the time. I am rude and politically incorrect at times. Jispa was not allowed at eth comic show but she agrees – I scream and shout and crack a lot of jokes while in class and the whole class laughs like crazy. And yes – I do it for a princely sum of Rs 200 an hour.

the joy of listening

On Sunday, I had a lecture to give at the college I teach. It being a rainy day I had left well in advance. We wouldn’t want the professor to be late on his first lecture do we? What message do we send out? Hence I ended up being an hour early. As a backup I taken a book along that I had an opportunity to read at the college. Sitting on the steps at the entrance it was good fun to read a book. I was well sheltered from the almond tree. The almond fruit had come close and it kept dropping from the tree, one every minute. At first I thought it was the crows or some other birds that kept eating and throwing them down, but on closer inspection I figured it was just the rain and wind pushing the ripe fruits. They were squashed exactly on the side they fell. It was quite nice, sitting at the college steps on a Sunday, reading a nice book, mild rains and the fruit dropping. The only thing wrong was the horrible ready mix tea that I was having. Sweet and completely off taste. Ready mix tea is the most horrible thing ever. No wonder at many meetings the guests ask if we can serve brewed tea as opposed to machine tea. Complete rubbish. I guess the companies don’t realize that they are turning generations off by giving them bad tea and they will probably never be able to savor the aroma of good tea, thereby helping them cultivate the taste. Short term thinking at its best.
I got talking to the security guard at the steps. The college I teach is the same one I went to and most support staff would know and recognize me. This guy though came in after my time. he knows me as the professor and not a student. He confirmed with me what he had heard... I was indeed from the college. Some other peon had told him so.
Over the years I have perfected the art of prodding and listening and challenging. Speaking to people about their job gives me immense pleasure. They are obviously best placed to talk the most and with authority on what they do every day for a living. Hearing their life, anecdotes, learnings, experiences enriches me immensely.
Pushing him a bit I learnt that on one of the floors there was a session happening for some Landmark. I had no clue. He was explaining some of the stuff he saw – different things happen there. Many people come there to improve their lives. They talk and try and ‘rehabilitate’ people. He said that one of the drivers had told him that his boss had completely changed after attending this session. He was a guy who would finish his work and then roam around till 3 am in bars and have a colorful night life. But the forum helped him change his ways and he now heads home post his work. Another thing was that during the three day seminar during lunch break, everybody would come out and would be making calls to their near and dear ones. They would be crying and apologizing and be completely emotional. No one would be in any mood to eat but will be supporting each other. Another instance was of a kid who had come with his dad. The kid after some time walked out and told his dad that he is not going to be any part of this forum. He was not going to talk about his issues in front of strangers. In a bid to convince him, another uncle asked him if he knew where he was heading next year? To which the kid responded saying he hasn’t seen the next year and no one has. Who knows what the circumstances will be. Stop planning or thinking. As in Hindi they say – kal kisne dekha hai? He wondered and I concurred, what would the caliber of the person addressing these seminars that he would have such a powerful effect on the people. I wonder… though I am not convinced that this is for me, it seems to be making some progress with a lot others. Probably I am too arrogant to accept or I probably have never seen the other side. It seems to be giving some people a lot of hope or direction.
We quickly moved on to another topic. He was explaining that kids don’t wear their i-cards to college. The i-cards are now giving out corporate style. They have a lanyard attached to them. He was also lamenting that there is no real way to verify the kids faces from the icards. Especially the girls. He said that if he had a closer look at the photos he risks a complaint being filed by the girls on harassment.
I wish the college simply heard all the constituents while designing different rules and regulations. The lanyard is an ugly looking thing. Anything that one wears, one is quite choosy. As it reflects one self expression. I don’t blame the kids for not wanting to wear that horrible plastic piece. The icard itself is ugly looking and the lanyard leaves no scope for self expression. The same problem is in office. People don’t wear the company giving icards. Once we had an external event and designed icards with different lanyards for the event. At some events we did nice two toned ones and at other we did different colors. We had a few left over and I was wearing a new color every day. Soon enough I had enough people asking me, accosting me at the aisles for one for them. Quickly I was down to one. Some of them were the ones who never wore any icard but were now flaunting theirs thanks to a new ‘different’ lanyard. Another killer app was that this lanyard had a clip on it. So you could wear it by clipping it like a necklace as opposed to putting it over your head, risking you spoiling your hair style. Simple innovation working for you.
Its surprising that we miss the obvious. We do all sorts of things and campaign to get people to wear the icard but problem lies elsewhere. Once we recognize that the icard if worn is as much a tool of self expression then we will change our mentality towards it. I bet that far beyond getting compliance, I can get enough students to pay a hundred bucks to pick from a lanyard of their style. Different colored ones, some with beads, some with badges or some thick, some thin. I also bet that most students will end up with more than one purchase in a year. Compliance will go up, coolness will happen. Hmmm. It’s an interesting project to take up.
I am so much in love with this idea, that one I even told the corporate CSR about it. They have a problem getting employees to sign on the Corporate Social Responsibility platform. They even have a problem with employees at blood donation drives. My recommendation was that every person who signed up or donated got this sexy new lanyard that was different from the rest. It not only gave instant gratification that showed him in a new light but also helped be a walking talking ambassador for you activities. The best way to spread good is the demonstration effect. Then later you could always add on badges that he could put on his lanyard for all the great stuff he contributes to the larger cause. But then… sigh… never mind. I will use this idea once… somewhere else. .. some other time.

Jispa Speak

Jispa has been chosen for the final day final round in the elocution competition. She is quite an expressive child and this is a perfect outlet for the drama in her. The poem we chose (wrote about it earlier) has enough play for different tones and voices. It will be different from the other poems that go in a monotone… dada dada … dada dada … dada dada da. This will go slow, loud, pause, surprise… I asked her on the phone today if she remembered anyone else’s poem. She said there one poem about the pig by Roald Dahl. Its about a pig with a over sized brain it knew everything but “but in the end One question drove him round the bend: He simply couldn't puzzle out, What LIFE was really all about."
I quickly googled it as i was on the phone and read it out to her. I then asked her… see… how do I know the entire poem. She just spelt out “G…O…O…G…L…E”. hmmm, how did you know that, I asked her. She said that she too has an over sized brain like the piggy in question. Ok … you win.

On Sunday while I was taking a lecture at college, Jispa and Jasmine had planned to come in once they finished at the park. They came in at the last ten minutes of the lecture. I was my usual loud self. Jasmine remarked to Jispa – does your teacher shout like this? After the lecture as we were walking out she asked me in all earnest, “dad, when I go grow will you teach me as well?” “sure, Jispa. I am always teaching you. I am teaching you now as well.” “no, will you teach me these things that you were teaching them.” “of course, I will”. She was happy. “when you are bigger, Jispa, all you have to do is ask”.

Later another thing she told me that “papa, you are less strict than my teacher. In school if anyone talks my teacher makes them stand under the clock.” Heheh. I sure am. I didn’t tell her that if I do that my class will shift to the clock in under five minutes.