hope makes the world go around

Teaching has a new meaning these days for me. Jispa started coming for my lectures. That is crazy awesome. I have taught for so many years for the joy of teaching but also for a secret joy – of being able to teach Jispa. Of course, she doesn’t open her mouth in class but she sits through and tries to understand what all I have to teach. It fires me up no end.

My lectures are at 11 am on Saturday. This gives me the perfect schedule, to wake up, fix myself an awesome coffee and then attack the college. It’s a perfect start to the week end.

Practicing what I preach, every lectures starts with a test that I have designed on Google forms (thanks to another young friend who comes along) on a topic that I have given a note in advance. Then on we talk about the paper / questions etc and take it forward. This is something surprisingly that the students feel happy about. They want tests. They want to read and come to class and wonder what’s happening.

The last time around I gave them an assignment to see the movie – The Founder. This was on the McDonalds founder, Ray Croc. It was an outstanding movie and they showed brilliantly how the original founders – the McDonald brothers, invented the fast food restaurant business but couldn’t scale it. It showed how Ray Croc scaled the business and also how he needed to do some accounting jugglery as well. Ray couldn’t make too much money off the restaurant and hence to scale it an account advised him to move into the real estate space. He bought/leased the land and then sublet to the franchisee for a higher fee, plus the franchisee revenue from sales. This allowed for a crazy increase in expansion rate.

What I loved about the movie was how they clearly explained how the brothers invented the system by killing a lot of unnecessary processes and items that stopped it from becoming efficient. And how Ray Croc understood that and while he had major run ins with the brothers, as regards the business proposition, the brothers were essentially right and had gotten the efficiency formula perfect. He kept that alive.

This was, to my mind an awesome movie and the perfect movie for watching for the young kids who want to understand management. Its typically very easy to do various different things but very difficult to focus on one thing alone.

So, I give them some stuff to read or watch and then come to class, dur9ng which I give a small multiple choice test. This test is something that kids can take from their mobile phones anywhere. The time given to the test is also very tight and the test has around 6-9 questions which are given in random order. Hence, it’s very difficult to copy as well. Even if two kids are sitting next to each other, its near impossible to copy and take help. If the time pressure is so high that you barely have time to think and read the questions, you have no time to help or copy in a randomized test.

I love the class as I am prepared on what to talk and then we discuss various elements. That Jispa is present just simply makes it even more stressful for me. I want to do better for her. I want her to enjoy the experience. I want to discuss stuff with her. She too is very keen to understand and learn from me. She was missing one class but she insisted that I explain to her what I had missed and that she could catch up. That’s nice. That’s the best way to know if I am making sense. My teen age daughter likes to attend my lectures, that’s my ultimate vote of confidence. I was telling Jasmine that no matter what, possibly blood is thicker than water. I love teaching and I love my lectures. I do it for enjoyment and not for money. But you add my daughter into the equation and the pressure and pleasure goes up. Funny. Or possibly not so, in hindsight.

I write writing blogs but because Jispa is now grown up and I have so many conversations with her and she understands the issues, when it comes to writing the blog, many times I stare at a blank screen. What to write when the main motivation is outside of the process.

Recently Jispa told me that there are only 6 months more. More for what, I asked? For me to be 15. And then? And then to read your blog. Oh! Is that? Yes, she reminded me. I had promised her that I would allow her to read my blog when she turns 15. My god. Time did fly. I was quiet. She then said “you don’t remember promising, do you. You thought I would just forget eh. Well I have not and you will give me the blog to read on my 15^th birthday”. Of course. Of course. Surely, I will give her the blog to read. I wrote it for more than ten years for this moment. Will I continue to write afterwards, I hope so, but it will be interesting to write knowing that your kids will read it instantly :)

It will be an interesting birthday gift to her. A little more than 10 years in the making. Wow. Such a big thing from such a small start. I wonder how she will read it, from the start, randomly, will she get bored, will she come back and ask clarifications, kick my ass for what I have written or done, will she cry on a few blogs, will she understand, will she jump in joy, will it give her solace in trouble? My big one is the last one. I may be around or not, but I hope whatever I have written will someday assist her in some sort of way. Hope.

priceless? better than priceless

Kids these days. They like to listen to their iPods or cell phones with music in them and shut them selves to the world. I once won an iPad mini in a contest. The moment they announced a contest in one of the jaunts, I knew that iPad was mine. I went home and Jasmine did not want the mini and Jispa preferred a portable iPod. So we went to our neighborhood shop and exchanged the same for an iPod.

Jispa hardly ever gets her iPod to play with. We don’t let her play too much on it and we don’t let her listen too much music on it. We are really bad ass parents. Seriously I think we are irritating but I think with only one kid we want all the time we get with the kid to be great and hence we are scared of losing her to the device. But still I think she gets some time with it. Especially vacations. Plus we have another issue. We don’t have too much music. At least not the music that a teenager would want to listen to, to load onto the iPod. So after a point of time, there was not much use for the iPod as such.

Jispa kept wondering how to get her music. I told her to get it loaded in by her cousin brother. That’s where you get all your vice in life from – cousins. Also Jispa said she wanted new headphones. I for one, couldn’t understand why would she want headphones. She has the great ones that come with the iPod from Apple. These are phenomenal in ear ones with superior design and engineering. She gave some answer which I refused to even listen – but yes I understood – the kid wants new headphones – the ones that all kids end up wearing. I think it’s fashionable to have these big ones on your head. You see them at all the swim meets. That’s the new cool. Of course Jispa believes that she wants them as the in-ear ones hurt her ears and that fashion has nothing to do with it. Who was I to judge.

So I promised her that once she gets her songs, I will buy her a head set. After she got her songs loaded, I started scouting around for decent headsets. I had weird problems to content with. These headsets can get really expensive. I don’t mind getting her one but then managing them and ensuring you don’t forget them anywhere and then taking care of them etc would have been a huge issue.  So expensive ones area  problem, especially if you have anal parents. I prefer giving her something that I don’t mind her losing so that I don’t lose my mind. Second – the big bulky ones with cover her ear completely and will block out all noise. That’s another problem. Remember what I said – we don’t want to lose her completely. So if we give her something that will block out all noise, it would create another set of issues from a parents point of view. Now for Jispa’s point of view – I can’t give her something that’s not cool. No shitty brands would help. Kids look at each other and are hugely influenced by the brands. I am quite sure that a 13 year old can make out the differences between different headsets if not for the brands. Also the headsets with the right brands look cool on the head! So now we have the variables – over the head earphones, nice brand, cool design, relatively cheap, not completely covering the ear. And voila – here you are the amazing JBL headphones costing two thousand bucks available at flipkart for 700 bucks. Light weight, decent brand and not too big. They look cool as well.

When I gave Jispa the surprise…. When she saw the ear phones – she smiled. Wow getting your teenage to smile after you get her stuff – that was priceless. Feeling happy and not broke after your teenage daughter smiles – better than priceless! 

a delicate balance

Friday was a really tough start to a day. I felt like a complete loser. It is one of those days when you start to question yourself and especially your skills as a parent. I have always maintained that it doesn’t matter what happens to the results as long as you have tried your best and you put in a great effort.

We have had enough stress over getting a poem for Jispa to recite for the elocution. The teachers in her school don’t help at all. This is contrast to our school days when the parents were completely uninvolved in the process. This time we got a poem and it was accepted. Suddenly on Thursday evening Jasmine calls me to tell me that Jispa won the second place at the competition. I was so dam angry. Why? Not because she missed first place but we never did really have the time to practice. I taught her a couple of times and that was it. She was still nowhere near as good as she could be and she was emphasizing the words and pausing rather than one smooth flow. It was pretty irritating. Why was I not told that the competition is on a particular date.

In the morning I was angry at Jispa. Why dint you tell me? Also whenever I asked you to practice with me afterwards you always made an excuse. She told me that she would practice with her school teacher every day. But Hell… your school teacher ... she doesn’t know anything about elocution, does she? Does she teach you to vary your tone, to put the right emphasis? They don’t know anything and you think that is enough.

She told me that it’s ok nah? Wasn’t I the one who didn’t care if she won or lost? Yes, I don’t care if you win or lose, but it pisses me off to see inferior effort done. Both your mom and I put in enough stress to search for your poem. We go through tons of poems, we beg and check with other mothers for interesting poems and we then try and get one that’s interesting. So you better start practicing earnestly with us or you are in for trouble. There is a lot of work to be done and losing first place just because you have not tried enough, that’s pretty irritating. Whenever I wanted to teach her she would say that her head is spinning or its paining or give some excuse. That was really bad. I never knew that the competition was coming up so I could crank up the pressure. It seems Jispa just told Jasmine about the competition in the morning while being dropped off to school. Jasmine also said, now what to do… best of luck and do well. Wasn’t she supposed to tell us what’s going on, especially since we are involved parents and especially when it comes to elocution. Arrrggghhhhh.

This was so bloody darn frustrating. Coming close and letting go just on a whim! Jispa needs to realize the sacrifice we go through when she does something. I am happy not being the bad guy. It’s the best to be a father that is all loving and caring and doesn’t piss you off. That’s an easy one. But to have one that pushes you to do better, it requires the father to be a jack ass at times. And bloody hell that’s a difficult thing to do. Balancing the equation on both sides is a great challenge. She got a few from me that morning. And in the evening I hugged her and told her I was sorry but I really did need to know and she really did need to tell us and practice with us. She said she was sorry as well.

There – that’s that. Delicate balance achieved. An uneasy balance only to be tipped over on either side at the slightest extraneous factor. Till then – a piece of cute news. Saturday we celebrated our 14^th anniversary and Jispa had a surprise gift for us. A card for each of us and a special present. She made for Jasmine a cat out of sponge and for me she gave me a cover. A cover with cash in it. She gave me 125 bucks cash as a present. That was all she had. I didn’t know what to say. Thanks Jispa. Many thanks. Can we buy something with it later? Girls… they are so bloody adorable.

i dont gamble, but i am The great gambler

Jispa is playing the fool with us. Up until last year she still wasn’t too sure whether to believe in Santa or not. This year at around eight years old, she has decided to tease us. I had told her the last time around, it doesn’t matter whether you believe in him or not. If you asked for a gift and if you got it then you really don’t care if the dam guy exists or not. Similar to the God philosophy. You decide what works for you.
This year Jasmine and I were pretty sure she has outgrown Santa. So unlike last year we did not bother to start the ‘write a letter to Santa’ charade. So we skipped the whole thing. Yesterday just on a lark I wondered what to do about the Santa thing. So we called her in and asked if she wanted anything from Santa. It seems she and Jasmine have had some conversations, though not serious on what she wanted from Santa. Pretty cool. So what were the options? The first was a bigger house to keep all her toys. Beeeeep. Thats not happening. Second, a big toy house. Beeeeep. That was not happening as well. How about a game boy/DS Nintendo. Ok.... interesting. But I told her that Santa wouldn’t be able to get the game boy in time. Ok then I want a cello tape. Hmm. Why is that? “in my box, I don’t have a cello tape and mom doesn’t let me use her scotch tape”. Before you pass judgements on poor mom. Anyone who sees her use scotch tape will stop her from using it. Ok Done. ‘Now that is something Santa can possibly in time for tomorrow evening. Surely.” “buy?” she asked. “he makes the stuff he gives”. “errr. Ya... makes... he will make it in time, I guess” I added, sheepishly.
When she left the room, Jasmine and I looked at each other. This girl is making fun of us. She is playing with us. She obviously doesn’t believe in Santa. She knows enough to know about the myth thing. She is merely having fun at our expense. If believing in a Santa will result in a free scotch tape at the least, then what’s the harm. I guess I am the architect of my own doom. Funny.
So Jasmine is going to buy scotch tape and is getting it gift wrapped. Jispa also like every time is planning to leave milk, cookies and muesli for Santa to eat. I guess she will also leave a note for him on the white board. Hmm. I am also thinking, what if Santa leaves some footprints thins time on the floor. Every time he leaves crumbs of cookies and muesli on the scene of the crime. Hmmm. Depends on how sleepy he is. But could be worth a shot.
I have always wondered when we play with our children, I don’t know who is playing with whom. Are you making your child play or is she playing with you. Who is the child in all this. So many times it is she who is leading the game and we are the object of her affection. And she grows older she is going to play on me all the tricks I manage to play on her.
Slowly as she is getting older she is getting better at the various games. I can play a decent game of Six (the one from Dr. Woood) with her. This is a simple but interesting game of strategy. She is no push over. Once I sat to lpay with her while I was all tired and sleepy she jammed my happiness, defeated me a couple of times and even held me to a draw. This after I tried concentrating. So yesterday while I was fresh I invited her to a rematch. This time I restored my pride and won a few games. I still managed to lose a couple, but those were silly mistakes.
She also already wallops me in swimming. I just can’t keep up. I thought I was very fast while using the kickboard. I go faster than most people swim. She whizzes past as if I am in kindergarten. Whew. I can also just about keep pace with her for a single round. When it comes to multiple round I am no match.
It feels funny for a competitive guy like me. I like to compete and win but in matters like these winning leaves a slightly hollow feeling and losing leaves a warm emotional feeling. Chest swells on losing. Funny thing parenting is.
Suddenly I am reminded of this dialogue from Baazigar. You will have to sit through three minutes to get to the dialogue with is at the very end. But the really corny clip will make it worth your while.

For those too bored to see the whole thing, here is a much older and shall I say better looking Shah Rukh saying his lines, slightly better.

Loosely translated into English the gist of the line is - sometimes in life, to win somthing you also need to lose something. And the one who wins by losing is called...The Gambler

its just a game, is it?

I was reading one blog on my reader. It is called Ulterior Motives and is authored by Art Markman. In this particular post he talks about the effect of violent video games. (link) The long and short of it is “These results suggest that video games can actually create a curriculum for teaching aggressive and risky behaviours. Unfortunately, they do not provide a good outlet for anger and aggression. Instead, they reinforce anger and aggression and allow players to transfer that behaviour to the real world.”

One would assume that this is nothing new. We all knew this. Violent Video games promote violent behaviour. Ditto with movies. But slowly over a period of time we have let the violence increase in the content we consume. So Sholay which was extremely violent when it released 35 years ago would be pretty average by today’s standards. I don’t assume most would even think about the violence. Possibly we are now blind to it. It is a matter of every day routine.
While growing up us boys faced a huge shortage of steamy pics to ogle at. No internet to get your fix. Here the Mid Day mate which was a daily picture of a scantily clad woman in a mainstream afternoon daily was the best we could get. Any one who had the Mid Day would be obliged to share the third page for our voyeuristic pleasures. I don’t think it really matter today with a surfeit of it in various forms of digital media.
There is a joke doing the rounds on SMS – it talks about how romantic mushy movies spoil women expectations and then adds that porn does the same to men.

I would assume that media does impact human minds. The stuff we see does leave us with impressions that we carry forward. I would only assume that games would create greater impression than a movie. For one the time spent might be larger and two – you take on the role play that rewards excessive behaviour. Whatever the reason, I might argue that it is ill advised to leave too many unattended games at your kids door step.
The problem here is accentuated by the fact that parents might see these as merely games. My son is just playing video games. How bad is that?
One kid’s party we went to was celebrating his birthday. He might have been around 7 years old. A sharp kid with a keen eye. It seems he loves playing games. All sorts of games, board games, video games, outdoor games. He picks them fast and beats some of the elder players. His dad got him a PS2 for his birthday. Very cool. I don’t approve but I guess its ok.

There that’s him with his gift and you can see the PS2 to his right on the back.
While just flipping around his presents I chanced upon the games his dad bought along with. His enthusiastic dad just bought the device and asked the vendor to give the popular games. I am not sure if he specifed the age of eth recipient, but I am quite sure it wouldn’t have made a difference to the vendor. The top most on the pile was….


There. There were a few more like these ion the pile. Can you see the rating that is there on the CD cover. Would you give a movie with that rating to the child? nopes but a game. What wrong with just a game? I nudged his dad saying the game is meant for elders. His dad said, “arey my son is good at games. He plays the games meant for elder kids very well. He goes to other friend’s house and beats them at the games. He is good.” Err… what do I say? “This is not that kind of elder games. This is really elder games. The kind that has not so harmless content in it”. I did not know how to explain the stuff but Grand theft auto is not exactly a paragon of virtue role play. I don’t even think it has a grey side. It’s the cool other side – period.
I am not sure if the penny dropped but I dropped the topic and carried on. It was not his fault. He wasn’t too aware. He merely thought they were games. How easily is this misunderstood or glossed over.

an old shave

This one is ridiculously funny. I couldn’t believe it. We are separated by miles of earth, completely poles apart as far as culture and origin is concerned. Vago connection – he has an Indian wife I think. But the feeling is bang on. Having a razor handle is an investment I somehow really don’t want to let go of. So I end up having the older razors.
The thing is that I don’t have a tough beard. It’s a pretty soft beard and I hate shaving. I try and shave every third day at best. Sometimes its once a week. I am normally extremely bored to shave. The older I get the lesser I shave. So my blades last me months. Three, four, five, six months. And I don’t normally get cut while shaving. Only when the shave gets a bit rough and I feel a bit burned, would I get out my new blades. I just find it so cool to really extend my blade life.
The same goes for my shaving foams. I can get through one foam can for over a year. I just don’t understand how people use one can a month. I guess they like to shave everyday with a lot of foam and then they shave twice at the same time. Wow. That reminds me of myself at 15.
Also I have never bought a razor handle in my life. I have only used the ones that people gifted to me. I have one that I recently threw that a friend gave me in 1996. That’s 14 years of service. It was a Gillette mach 2. It was complete drool stuff at the time. They weren’t still freely available in India. The friend had got it as a gift from his relative abroad.
The other razor handles were also gifted to me. I upgraded my self to the all new mach three thanks to my well wishers I guess. With a majority of Jasmine’s relatives in US, shaving innovations are on the top of the list of giftables to poor Indians. Now that the realisation has sunk in with them that we are less deprived, the shaving stuff has far reduced. Thanks to that and my miserly usage, I have never bought a foam bottle also my entire life. Hehehe.
The only foam bottle I bought was a small travelling one and that too is now lying in waste as I stopped shaving while travelling. Invariably I come back from a vacation with a stubble.
To overcome my inertia these days I have started shaving while in the shower. I don’t even have to look at the mirror. I just soap the beard a little and take the blade over it. A quick check in the mirror and I am done. No need for an elaborate setting.
So now even my aftershaves are really really old.
As far as the squash ball is concerned – I don’t throw them unless they tear. Dan has got both the examples absolutely bang on.

santa who

I think I have spoken about this before. Jispa is at an age where she does not really know whether to believe in santa or no. As I had explained to her once. What does it matter if he is real or not. If you believe it, it’s real, if you don’t, don’t bother. While I really did not expect her to get it, she actually understood what I meant. So she is largely indifferent to a lot of this ‘is Santa for real theory’. Ditto for the tooth fairy. This year Santa did not come visiting her. Not because she was not a good girl, nor was is it that she did not believe, but for eth simple fact that she was a satisfied kid. When we asked in advance for what she wanted from Santa, ‘nothing’ came the reply. Was she sure. Yup she was. She did not want anything for Christmas. So that’s what she ended up getting from Santa.
This year we were not in town as well. Suddenly she remembered that she normally left some cookies and muesli and milk for Santa and his reindeer. So she asked me ‘we did not leave anything for him this time, but he will open the fridge and have it himself, right?’ again it is difficult to tell you if she was just playing along or she actually believed this stuff. I think it’s a case of happily ignoring possibilities and focussing on the fun. I replied saying, since you haven’t asked for anything, he isn’t coming. ‘oh ok’ and that closed the chapter on Santa I assume.
While I suspect Jispa is largely a satisfied character, not wanting too much, I nevertheless asked Jasmine ‘is she really that satisfied or we thoroughly spoilt her by giving her a lot, so that she does not want anything’. ‘she is generally the satisfied types’ replied Jasmine, reaffirming my belief in Jispa’s core trait. She s the understanding types as opposed to the ‘I want’ types.
On the subject of gifting, Jispa and I were playing the ‘I spy’ game in her new and extremely cute book ‘where’s hanuman’. Here you need to spot hanuman along with a bunch of other characters in different scenes from the Ramayana, drawn on a double page. The artists seem to be suffering from a hangover of Astrix comics going by the type of fun the characters seem to be having on the pages. So after I played a while, I was helping jasmine with some work. Jispa wanted to play on, but I told her to solve the I spy clues by herself. On a lark I promised her a gift if she did one full page. It was a lot of obscure spotting stuff: ring, discuss, man flat on ground, man in water etc etc. She completed the task, so before a movie I took her to crosswords and asked her to choose any book she could under 100 bucks. She picked on the adventures of suppandi. A comic book compilation from the tinkle comics series. 80 bucks. Suppandi is big hit with her friends as well. It seems they share Supandi jokes in the bus. As a kid, I loved him as well.
But a simple book, here again she was mighty satisfied.

Thanks Jispa for making parenting that much easier.

Two assorted santa links for further reading:-
http://communities.canada.com/vancouversun/blogs/parenting/archive/2009/12/14/santa-claus-myth-children-harmful.aspx
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091209/ap_on_re_us/us_fea_lifestyles_letters_to_santa

it's only a gift for heaven's sake

People give the darnest of things. Sometimes I have no clue what to do with it. And I specially love the show pieces that they give. Once I got a clock held together by two elephants, once I got a fake fish bowl with fake fish in it (you have to plug it in), a desk set with my name engraved on it (wrong spelling), tons of card holders, notepads, a serving tray, glass coasters, stumps (yup cricket stumps meant to be an invite), a Buddha look alike statue (pretty though), mugs and some more mugs, mug with my name etched on it, and other paraphernalia. But the last one I got took the cake. It’s a ceramic plate with some enameling work done on it. It’s pretty no doubt, but for hell of me I can’t figure out what to do with it. I have no clue to its possible use.

There is no hole at the back to hang it. It did not come with a stand to put it on somewhere as a desk top, its not even flat that I can use it for keeping hot vessels. Its just there. A thing of beauty is a joy forever. It is very pretty but it’s just there. So it’s one more thing that adds more color to my already colorful desk.

I even tried to keep it as mouse pad holder.

Nahhhh… not happening.

I even managed to chip while it was just lying there. Oh the things people gift you. I wish it was atleast ugly. I could have thrown it, but now since its pretty I cannot throw it. I do not want to risk living the rest of my miserable life as a person who could not understand or even appreciate art, in whatever form of style. Have I no respectable right brain throwing away this pretty, pretty, ehhhh.. pretty ceramic enameled plate. How sad could I be…. :(

So now its just there. one more dust gatherer on the desk, one more color disseminator, one more wise crack attractor....