worth its while

In life a public service post is extremely critical for a whole rounded experience. A not for profit, free charitable public service post. That is the toughest thing to do.

My friend and I got involved with the swimming department at the gymkhana a little over a couple of years ago. The pain is immense. If I thought that the idiots at eth office were a bit, these guys at the gymkhana are to be seen to be believed. Everyone and his grand dad would have an opinion and most of the time they are not controlled or driven by facts. Most of these guys come from business backgrounds and used to running their businesses in their own way. Controls, processes and scale is something alien to them. Most of them haven’t run retail customer centric business and have no clue on anything. These guys then get elected to various posts and then all hell breaks loose.

They don’t understand service, the ability to keep your audience first and they definitely are alien to marketing concepts. All the bums are a legacy of the Nehruvian era where the man who controls the resources is hell bent on preserving his control over them and believes in the scarcity of resources. Anything is looked upon as a privilege that is given to the members. Hence they will put barricades everywhere. They will first put in rules that don’t allow stuff to happen. They will never bother about the demand side of the equation. Creating a  demand is alien to them. In fact in many ways it is an anathema. They are those people who have bought membership cheap and then want to extract the maximum benefits exclusively for themselves. They like their empty pools, empty courts an dempty spaces. Buzz? … that is an alien concept to them. Attracting youngsters to the club? OMG that is the greatest sin on this world. Guests – let’s stop the members from getting them. Let’s charge higher! What will you give for that in return… oops that’s another bad question! The next thing we know – they ban shorts in the restaurant… hell knows why! I got thrown out of the restaurant. They tightened the rules about guests along with raising the fees… and boom – now the restaurant is empty. Now sit and enjoy eating in a ghost town. The quality of food will suffer, the service will suffer and the menu will slowly shrink. Who will bother about that.

They started redesigning the restaurant.. and no one is bothered about redesigning the menu. So whats the experience going to be? What is the theme of the place? What is the average serving size and the number of people per table that we are talking? Is there going to be a peak and a non peak time… how are we going to maximize revenues and have bar nights with live music or match screenings. Is the place designed for that? Nothing. If we have larger tables should we also have a few larger portion plates? Should we have enough starters and do we have enough on follow-throughs. Are we using light to generally zone out the place? Wow… I told them all this and they didn’t have a clue.

Then on pricing… they wanted to increase the pricing for using the general facilities. The club has a reverse problem. we have a large corpus that’s sitting and doing nothing. Just… a large corpus. So we DON’T need the money. And in any case, from all the monies collected to run the place on a daily use basis doesn’t pay for the maintainence. This comes from the interest on the corpus. So your biggest revenue is not this stupid yearly fees but new members who have to be suckered into coming in and joining. In fact you need more BUZZ in the gymkhana. More use of pool, more use of restaurant, more use of bar and then more use of all the sports. You must have training programs that attract the bets talent that attract the best money from people who want access to this talent for their kids and themselves. So you problem is different. In fact I was arguing that reduce the fees, reduce it drastically so that more and more people are tempted to pay off and believe that they will use it. and get people to use it… You need a problem of plenty and not scarcity. And this is the only option. If you believe that you should build walls around your scarce resources then these resources will only deteriorate and will eventually die. You lose in the long run.

But alas.. I am tired of these jack idiots. But I also learnt that this is the Indian Democratic system. Nothing moves. There is a log jam everywhere. And there is merit in it. I mean, I am the secretary of the pool but I report into the Chairman who reports into the general Secretary who really has no powers over the swimming pool directly but can stop us from doing a lot, who reports into the managing Committee which consists of all the chairmen, which in turn reports into the trustees who really don’t really do anything. So who is in charge… really… no one. So it does take a lot to move the system and precedence is king. So if you have done something in the past then its ok. Doing new or changing it is a problem. That’s why in legal and democratic systems past precedence is a great thing. This reduces the new thing you can do but also stops all the shit that can possibly create havoc. Its difficult (not impossible) to create dictators, its difficult to have idiots blowing up money, and every risk is answerable to almost anyone who asks a question. But I have also learnt to game the system… you can keep asking questions and as long as I am replying them and following due course, you cant do jack. And there is no limit to the number of replies I can give to the number of question you ask. And to add -  I can keep whining on in the replies and it can go on forever. Plus there is no real time frame in which we have to reply. In fact there is no real compulsion in which I have to reply. I can always defer and defer and just let matters sleep.

But at the end, it’s been frustrating and enriching. I know exactly why the system is designed so and I know how it works and its loopholes. And I leant to deal with more nitwits! And not lose cool…Worth its while :)

turn it around

A ha. We successfully organized the Matunga gymkhana open swim meet. A grand success by any measure and people came on congratulating us. It was an experience like none before in any meet of any kind in the city. The people were mesmerized and couldn’t stop talking about it. The swimming department now walks with a little extra bounce in their steps. But when you coldly step back and look at it, what was it actually that made it so big. The swimming pool on the day belonsg to the officials. At every meet you have the same commentator, the same officials and the same events. Ours was also the same. But the difference lied in the packaging. There were large banners outside welcoming the participants and at the entrance was the clincher – the greeters. Borrowed from a bit from Walmart and a bit from the Singapore immigration authorities. At Walmart you have greeters when you come in to shop. At most other immigration checks they give you a cold stare, but at Singapore there is a bowl of fox sweets greeting you. In line with that we had apples and bananas awaiting all participants. So at the entrance a team was waiting with the fruits. In addition we gave them a folder with the schedule. And if that was not enough we also gave them two iron rich bars which we bought from an NGO. So that just shook them out. We then put enough cut outs around the place and just before the swimming pool a huge massive 36X6 banner greeted them. All these were of course done in corporate style with amazing visuals. With so much stimulation at the start, I left very little at the main pool area. That was taken over by the sponsors. We also gave space to a pro shop, a free stall for the isotonic drink guys to freely sample their products and some other stuff.

For those expecting a boring placid swim meet were completely shocked. There was shade all around with the pandals being erected and fans installed. I was rather amused by the reactions of the people. I thought this was par for the course. This stuff is simple. Like the checkerboard backdrop against the winner’s podium got a lot of comments and people thought it was really cool and ‘IPL style’.

I can still think of a million different things that I want changed from next time around. I want a different way to submit entries. I want to email stuff and want IDs, I want to have a better registration, I want better side games for the kids, I want a relaxing lounge, I want a winners picture booth,  I want flowers for the winners, I want better food stalls selling better food and drink for the champions, I want better invites, etc etc… a lot is still left to be done. The dream is to have a small souvenir shop for the event as well, selling high quality merchandise branded – the Matunga Gymkhana Open Swim Meet. That will be so bloody cool. That’s when the brand will be really built.

Ah well. I am a dreamer. But only if you can dream it can you possibly do it. Dream on. There are so many things to be done at this meet. Next year I am definitely going to ask for a bigger budget. I will have a better campaign to bring in the entries and hype the bloody thing before the event. I want to run it in style. Raise the bar so much that people have no clue what to expect next. I want to make it really really BIG.

But while I am talking about the event… I too took part in one race. The under 40 men’s freestyle. In my time trial I dived in and swam really fast. I reached the other side and turned. Not knowing the tumble turn I wasted precious seconds. While coming back I was tiring and slowing down. I hadn’t eaten well and the energy was sapping. I emerged second best by a small margin. I then heard the commentator explaining that I messed up the turn and lost there. I saw the video and everybody also told me – I was leading till the turn. My daughter was at the finish line waiting for me. She greeted me and took the time from the officials. She told me – not bad –“you did 37 seconds. You did two seconds better than your last time”. She was doing a Jaimit to me. Okies.

I always wanted to learn the tumble turn. But I tried it once and the water just rushed into my brain. I hated it. Jispa kept telling me to learn but I just couldn’t try. Now I have additional incentive. My knees have robbed me of my running victories but I guess I found another race. Tumble turn it is then. To learn the tumble turn and to push myself hard.  Jispa keeps telling me to learn but because I have the power in the equation I am unable to push myself. If the roles were reversed I would have harassed her, but the poor thing can’t do that to me. I must set that example and do it. I must learn the tumble turn. It’s not just about the turn but it also my duty as a parent to show that I can do it. It an example.

what a racquet

When the markets were doing very well, many years ago, one friend asked me a simple question. “what are you investing in these days?”. Ever since I was working in the broking or the HNI wealth advisory part of the financial world, everyone normally expects me to know a lot about investing. And not the boring simple, invest regularly in a mutual fund kind of investing, but the more exotic hot stock or hot deal kind of investing. To their utter disappointment, I knew nothing of the sort. I am not a great investor. In fact I can’t be even called an informed investor. My investments style is simple. Don’t.

I have been relatively lucky. Thanks to the firm where I work, I have given a decent sum of stock options. They used to be a decent sum, till I had to sell most of them to finance the new house I purchased. So being heavily invested in the options, I saw no great need to put more money in the share market. Also my job prospect is largely dictated by the share market and hence I would want to add any more volatility to my income and net worth. And now if you add the math and the EMIs that I pay on the housing loan… you are right. No money left to invest. So by default I have no investments to be made. But ya technically I am over invested. Opposites reconciling?

So the cool answer I gave to the question was “I am investing in my health”. The greatest investment I ever made was the gymkhana membership. That is one thing we use so bloody often. We are there in morning and evening, using or should I say squeezing the most out of our membership. Thanks to that I am living my sports dream. So now I carry stuff to swim, play squash, table tennis, badminton and tennis. The tennis racquet was there more out of hope than anything else and yesterday I was most pleased to start a little bit of tennis. So that completed almost the whole circle for me. Now that that to Jispa’s training we wake up everyday morning I convinced a few friends to wake up along with as well. They too come to the gymkhana and play with me. It’s great fun and it’s good for their health. I am investing my time in their health. It’s not a bad trade off. I get my bit of exercise as well.

Well that’s it. There is probably nothing remotely insightful in this blog. Just that I thought it was dam cool, that I now actively play all the sports in the gymkhana. Of course I consider billiards and the card room out of bounds from my perspective. I just loved the fact with tennis my circle is some what complete. Especially tennis. Till we were in Dubai in the third grade, I saw my dad play tennis in the club. I used to be the ball boy at times. He had a yonnex tennis racquet or something like that. Then he got me a junior tennis racquet. It was a Wilson – made of wood. I loved that piece. It was my racquet for me to play tennis. The tragedy of that racquet was that it was of no use ever. It never ever got used. I never played tennis with it. I could only feel it and smell it. We left Dubai soon enough and in India I never did get a chance to use that lovely racquet. I always wanted to play tennis. I guess in many ways thanks to that Wilson more than anything else.

I don’t a pic of that racquet and it’s been years since I last saw it, locked in mom’s cupboard, but here is a pic that I assume comes close enough. We must have bought it in 1983 or there abouts.

Wilderness in the city

My daughter is going to be demented and I am sure it’s my fault. We have a lot of fun everyday in the morning while dropping her off to work. We have made friends with two dogs already. One is called two biscuits but does not eat any biscuits; the other one is called bingo. Bingo is the name of any dog that we see. We keep saying ‘hi bingo’ to every dog we see and ‘hi jojo’ for every bovine creature. This started in Jaisalmer where there were tons of them around, lots and lots of all kinds of cows. Now also on the way to the bus stop we take a short cut through a not so happening area. On one corner there is a garbage dump. So we can see tons of jojos, bingos and absolutely fantastic kites. In fact just yesterday I saw a kite swoop down and pick up what looked like a rat in its claws and fly away. Really brilliant. Garbage in the city is the only way we can see wild life I guess. We also enjoyed seeing these kite fly around in Jaisalmer from the roof tops. Such magnificent birds.

Well in any case here is she imitating me in the morning. I first put it on my head since she was reluctant to wear it, then she decided to do it herself. I tell you Jispa, if you someday wonder where you get your irreverence from – the answer is definitely not your mom.

It was nice playing the intra dividision tournament on Sunday at Matunga Gym. Man I feel like a demi-god in fitness. I run faster than any one else and I definitely play better than most others. And thanks to the boss Arun Solanki, I understand the game better than any one else. One idiot tried to sledge me and said stuff after I got out. I mean what’s the point of sledging after someone is out. You sledge to get me out and after mission is accomplished its end of the story. You shut up. So this idiot was fielding after wards and he misfielded and let a few go. I let him hear a few comments. It made him look such an idiot. Sledge smart you idiot. Never lose sight of your brains. NEVER.

Its the love of the game

It’s getting a little difficult to get inspiration to update the blog. I really don’t want to write crap though arguably my entire blog could one big pile of junk. I just picked up ‘the motorcycle diaries’ written by Che Guevara before he was CHE Guevara. His achievements in his life post the motorcycle diaries make the motorcycle diaries what it is today. I have no such delusions about my blog but I still like to think of it a little like that. A little romanticism never hurt anybody.
I try and play Squash regularly and realize what age does to instincts. It’s quite tough to play that hard and fast. Playing the coach is sure fun. He does play a power game and tries to ensure that the game is good fun for both. I am sure he can finish the game in 20 seconds. But three games with him last half an hour at the minimum. The third game is sheer murder for me. He does play a single power shot but just keeps the ball in play and places it across the court. Woa! Its complete murder running cross court.
Yesterday he was not in and I tried playing and practicing on my own for some time till two gentlemen came in. One fat guy and the other an old man. I find it extremely annoying to see in that matunga gym has very few patrons who actually smile. I mean the guys there are playing sports for god sake. Smile, acknowledge the people, the competitor, have fun. I think they see any one as one more guy trying to use up the limited resources. It’s such a fucking pain. But hell, I think that’s the psychographic profile of the guys who go to gymkhanas. I have become big, I am a rich and I have a club membership. This Sunday there is the inter department cricket tournament and I am playing cricket for the squash team. Lets see how people compete and how they make friends.
But coming back to the point, the fat man and the other man wait outside. I call them in for the game. They obviously want to play only with each other, but since I am in they have to play two matches with me before they shoo me off. They cant move for shit, but hit the ball very hard and very fast. Only fore hand no back hand. The serves are so fast I can’t see them. I now realize that I have a long way to go. A really looooong way to go before I see the ball. The coach has been feeding me soft balls. Hehehehehhehe. He is just giving me a workout I guess. But I am much better than I was before and I am definitely going to get there. God and knee willing! Amen.