be my valentine

Hmmmm. Today is Valentine’s day. Its been around 15 years now that I have been ‘officially’ going around with Jasmine. We officially started going around on 3rd Feb 1992. wow… that’s a looong time. I dunno how valentine’s day isthese days in college. In my days liberalization just started and Valentine’s day was picking up. It rapidly gained significance as we passed the years. Cards were big time in fashion. Every one who was any one was giving each other cards. People proposing to each other on Valentine’s day. Oh bother… why wait for a special day. When you fell like just go ahead and say it. That’s what I did. I remember distinctly that fluorescent colors had made their entry as hep and happening colors. So all the cards had fluorescent covers. The chicks used to get a lot of cards from their suitors. For some reason the chick believed that the guys were all smucks and I saw so many cards being torn in front of the poor boys proposing. Man that broke my heart. The poor kid had mustered all the courage and said what his heart spoke. I remember how my heart pounded when I first spoke to Jasmine. She handled it very well. Why cant chicks be like that these days. The other chicks with lots of cards couldn’t dare take them all home. The college was littered all over with small bits of yellow and green fluorescent papers, bearing mute testimony to the hidden or unrequited loves. The street beggars also would figure that love is in the air and would make their two pennies selling roses.
I wonder what my good friend Vinu used to do on Valentine’s day. He was always above this ‘girl thing’ and ‘love thing’. He probably just saw all this tamasha and must have got even more pissed off. It didn’t take much to piss him off. He was the angry young man always. Hmmm. Why don’t I remember his reactions? Funny.
Today morning I reminded my wife that we have had 15 years of togetherness. We hugged and we just smiled. After 15 years it doesn’t take any words to talk to each other. We just know. Today kids have options like I am going around but not committed, I may or may not marry, I am just going around, I broke up with the guy etc. I have never understood that and probably never will. Jasmine and me were together for keeps from the very first moment. Breaking up was not an option. Not marrying was not an option. So I never had to propose marriage. It was a given. Funny thing it sounds like now.

Helll… pink and red is the color of the season. We have been asked to wear that today. They have decorated the entrance to the office with red and blue sashes. They miss the point. Putting a heart and some chocolates on every desk might do the trick, a simple satin ribbon here and there might build better mood. Three card to all for them to distribute in office to some one they appreciate might be better valentine. But hell. Go on.. something is better than nothing. Make my day. I am wearing a red checks shirt today, where are the lovely Valentine’s? Bring them on.. I am waiting!

picture dekh

Kutte ki tarah travel aur kaam kar raha hun. I as usual have bitten off more than I could chew and resultant loss of time to write my own blog is quite depressing. But fear not, I am back in action. I have had hardly any time these days, to do what I want to do. My travelogue sis also suffering. There I have written till I reach Allahabad and the journey of word has stopped. I WILL COMPLETE THE FREAKING THING> AND WILL DO IT SOON! I PROMISE, by the masters of the universe… tanannananananna. Whatever.

I was dying to see a English movie. Any English movie will do. And I also promised that I will see it in a normal big theatre ( read not a multiplex), so we go to Regal Theatre and see the only movie that suits our time ‘The holiday’. Kafi timepass picture hai. Full Candy floss, heart shaped chocolate kinda movie. Uuuuuu. Cho Chweet shit. But very very bearable with a few smiles thrown in. Diaz is cute, but I figure she is aging and it shows on her eyes. Why do actress’s in Hollywood typically come into lime light at 30 / 35 and then try to age gracefully. Indian movies like them younger… ya so, jasmine and me enter Regalt o the familiar smell of ….. well ‘Regal’. It just smells different and the same after all these years. We have seen so many movies here. In the old days the big cinema halls were Regal, Sterling, Eros, New Empire and some times New Excelsior. No multiplexes were constructed then. The ticket price when I first saw a movie with friends and not mom and dad was Rs 7 for the stalls at Regal. The movie I think was Project X or Project A. It was a Jackie Chan fight buster. I still remember the movie and the Jackie Chan slow mo stunt replays. Very very happening. We took a tenner from dad. 3 bucks was the kings circle – VT return fare. One way was 2 bucks and if you take a return ticket you got a discount of a buck. We then walked from VT to Regal and back. No money for frivolous expense like pop corn and Simba Chips. We were in a socialistic economy you see. Now the bloody multiplexes charge 150 for a ticket. SO I was feeling quite proud to see this one for 70 bucks in stalls. I was telling Jasmine that ‘ feels good nah, same old cinema, same old bucket seats, quite comfortable no, same old vinyl flooring, same old smell, and wow lovely leg room, large screens…’ nad she suddenly gets up. Shit. Now what? There was a nail in her seat. Oh come on, just a small nail. The money we save will buy another pair of jeans from Basu. Basu is the jeans maker from my college days. You go to his shop, choose your cloth, your fit and he customizes the jeans for you all for a pricley sum of 350 bucks. My wife loves it because of the fit. I get my cotton trousers from there. I love the guy as well. Coming back to the Regal. The poor helpful attendant drove the nail in with his torch and we saw happily ever after. I prefer the Regal experience to a multiplex. Call me old fashioned but I just love the good old theaters, reasonably priced. One thing I missed at Regal was the Softy ice cream cone. No such luck. But at least I got to eat my favorite salty caramel mix pop corn! Yipeee. I first ate the stuff from the guy inside Sterling.

bad dad, good dad

I am normally quite patient with Jispa. I can take n number of tantrums and normally scold her only to get her to listen. She has had this nasty habit of suddenly turning wild and angry without warning. If we sometimes try to do something like, remove her socks, choose her shirt etc (innocuous things), she will at random throw a fit, cry and scream. Absolutely random. I keep trying to tell her that I understand her crying if she tells us and we don’t listen to her, but we when we do listen or are talking to her she must not throw an ‘instant random’ fit. The other day we were at Jasmine’s mom’s place and we were going to the market. Jispa wanted to join us but was throwing fits left right and centre. I was patiently trying to explain, talk and getting her ready. I offered to make her wear the shoes which she agreed. While I was talking and making her wear her shoes, she threw a random fit screamed and kicked her legs. (Reason she wanted fasten the Velcro tighter) Her legs kicked my face and whack, I lost it and she got one across her cheek. The room fell silent. This happened on Saturday. The slap was with a soft hand and not a tight one, but I am sure she got a bit of pain. There was a mark on her cheeks for the next ten minutes. This was the first time I have ever hit her. Normally I only look at her or threaten to hit or just in rare times I raise my hand just to show dire consequences. I don’t believe in hitting a child too much. So this time my instinctive reaction made me feel miserable. As I was analyzing later, I felt a bit justified in slapping her. She would need to learn to first talk / ask before throwing fit. I have no problems with fits, I can ignore and live with fits, tantrums and the rest. But throwing one especially when I am listening and talking is just not acceptable. Was she too young to understand this? I don’t know. But evidence after slap goes to show that she got the point and is talking a lot more. And hell most of the time I accept what she says, to the point of me thinking that I might spoil her. So that’s the anatomy of the slap. A dad’s gotta do what a dad’s gotta do.
Also I realize that getting angry and scolding need not be a long drawn out affair. I immediately hug, talk sweetly and love her seconds after our fight. I believe in high impact when required and quick reversals post that. No point nagging and prolonging fights. Get point across and carry on.

experiences CCD

I think the blog can be a great place to share some consumer experiences. Today let stalk about a really bad one at Café Coffee day. I started lecturing again at Jai Hind, so I was exiting VT station at 8.08 am and was running towards Churchgate for Jai Hind. I was pretty sleepy so I decided to get a coffee at the CCD at VT. I was glad to see it open. I enter to see one of the employees sleeping on the couch. Thank you to the inventor of the cell phone camera. See the photo below. Bloody hell, he was sleeping without his shirt on.

Someone has to tell CCD that you get the bloody café up but it requires some effort to keep the ambience going. After all people are not paying 35 bucks for a 5 ruppee coffee. They are paying for the whole experience. But the ordeal does not stop there. I ask for a take away. The hero makes it and gives it to me, but with one crucial element missing. ‘Sir there is no lid’. What the fuck. No lid for a take away. And you tell me after the coffee is made and after I am made to wait for 5 minutes. 5 minutes are an eternity on the morning where the world is rushing to everywhere. He then figures and says ‘ but I can put foil on it’. huh… ok just give it with the foil then. He puts the foil and a rubber band. Really crude. And I rush off. I make a small hole for the coffee. I have to drink it right? The foil tears more than required. While walking I spill a little on the lovely formal pin stripped shirt and really get pissed in the morning. Bloody pain. I should be suing them for like a million bucks. But I guess these service chains will get to their own demise very soon. I don’t need to bother with what will eventually die out. Yes it’s a prediction. CCD will die a death very soon. Its ok to start a chain but it tuff to keep the level of service and quality day after day across all outlets. Obviously they do not really invest in training, upkeep and maintenance. I don’t think they figured this out yet. Good luck to them.

new car old car

My wife banged her car. Actually she just scraped it from the side and the side rearview mirror .. well… is now resting on the back seat. So am I to get angry. Heck no.. I was laughing. It happens to all. She is actually I think a better driver than me. She gets more mileage than me for sure. I might just be a good speedster. But a good speedster does not a driver make… But Jispa, if you are reading this please note: YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE THE CAR AND BANG IT ANYWHERE! Wife is ok, but daughter’s banging cars is a no no :)

This Sunday Jasmine unearthed a Frisbee. Not just any Frisbee, but a proper certified Frisbee, certified by the Frisbee association of the World or something like that. Jispa was at some dance practice so Jasmine and me played some amazing Frisbee at the ground behind. It’s a good sport when you are running around and throwing difficult catches. Now to figure out a way to keep Jispa away for two hours on a weekend.

we still shit

In our new house we got a very interesting servant ' devki' . This one is a loud mouth and would love to get into fights and arguments over nothing. I think her whole aim in life is to shout and talk loudly. Every time she has to tell my wife that ‘I am not supposed to wipe the vessels’, ‘I am not coming at night’, ‘why do you use large vessels for a small family’. She even talks to the vessels, ‘don’t fall’, ‘stay there’. She mumbles and grumbles all the time. But I think she’s kinda ok. I give this huge smile and she does not know how to react. I don’t think she expects people to smile at her. The other day she was forced to smile back. Haha.. she is, I think, not bad at heart. All you have to do is talk in a very calm tone and then she has to sober down…she is complete timepass.
The other day she ordered water for drinking from the workers (who were doing up the flat) next door. My wife asked her the reason. She said that many people in the building let her drink water only from the tap and not the filtered water. What the hell is that for??? Bloody bastards. My wife was also dam pissed. She told her that whenever she wanted she could have water from the water pot like us and that she could use any of the glasses that we use. She can make her own tea as well if required. I just can believe that this shit still happens in Mumbai and that too in decent localities. I guess this nonsense of treating people basis class will get more and more prevalent. Move over caste, its class that reigns supreme. But it just boils my blood every time I think of it. Separate glasses for servants I am ready to even concede but separate water! Bastards.

Another funny thing happened in the train while commuting. An old man in front of me suddenly decided that this is the best time for exercise. He started doing pull ups in the running train with the handles. Its fun to see him and even more to see the reaction of the fellow commuters. The first time he did it, people looked, but good mumbaikars are not prone to showing too much emotion or surprise. The second time no one even lifted their gaze. God knows what goes on in their minds. Are they busy thinking of their own problems, or are they just dismissing the man. hahhahah.

Here I clicked a couple of photos of the guy doing his thing. You decide.

here he is pulling himself on top. old man with a Nehru topi

Also notice the same man with his feet above the ground. notice the sports shoes and the Cargo pockets to go along with the Nehru topi and the safari'esque get up.

power

Yesterday I experienced a complete power moment. Wowie. Jispa’s school had some problems in getting the ICSC certification and the parents have met a few times, between themselves and with the management to sort this out. Now most of the time this nonsense degenerates in to confusion and no consensus is ever built, with rarely any go aheads. Very few have the power of voice to silence everyone and the ability to build consensus. I have managed to get the group on previous occasions to move ahead and take steps of action and common sense. This time the meeting was at 6 and I was late due to office shit. I entered at around 7.30 pm. I walked in and walked a few steps.. and…suddenly there was a murmur in the crowd. Heads turning and looking at me with a sigh of relief, heads nodding my presence, welcoming me, urging me almost to take charge of the situation. Mothers telling, come on, we needed you. Almost as if energy flew from me. Hahahahah! That was easily one of the biggest power moments in my life. Ajsmine who was there from before also felt it. Around 80 people and huge impact by merely walking in. I realized after the meeting was over that this was due to the fact no one was able to build action points and take charge. People, people, people… get them together and they lose all common sense. But thank god, I have enough sense to not let it get to my head too much. A little heady is ok, but no inflated egos. I have always maintained that your biggest strength is going to be your biggest weakness. And this is due to you using your strength one time too many. Conserving strength is the surest way to strengthen it! What say?

These days I am working on the travelogue and it making it difficult to write daily. Lets see. Its turning out to something I personally like. Complete self trip.

so much for womens liberation

As I said earlier that dropping Jispa everyday in the taxi is great fun. This is probably the only time that she and me get to talk. She normally acts dam funny when we ask about her school. Especially when Jasmine is there. She hardly ever tells. She hates to tell what happened, what she learned, what she is doing. But in the taxi early in the morning she now talks to me on what she is doing in school, what her teacher says and what the class is doing. It’s a five – seven minute ride so it’s only the highlight package that I get to hear. But then that’s enough I guess.

Right now she learns concepts in school. She is learning the concept of aeroplane. One of these days she has to go to school dressed up as an airhostess. That was fine. But then she told me that she and some girls are going to be the airhostesses and some of the boys will be the pilots. Now that got me a little irked. Why would the bloody school be reinforcing the stereotype? So I told her that girls can be pilots and the guys can also be ‘air hostesses’. They are called stewards. so I told her that she could be the pilot if she wanted to. She did not take that kindly. She told me that she wanted to be an airhostess. It was more fun giving out ‘khotta’ (fake) food. But I said you should be what you want to be. You could be a pilot or an air hostess. Be what you want. In some planes that I traveled in the men were serving and the women were flying. She firmly told me – ‘It is more funny being and AIR HOSTESS’ …ok ok princess… fine… so much for breaking stereotypes. Screw you ... do what you want… and when you grow up read this and enjoy!

Now to diligently set out time everyday to write the travelogue. Lets see, I must wrtite it before I forget too much. I wrote a lot of notes but still fresh is fresh.

My desk has also grown its greeting card collection. Now to make it stable is a fresh challenge.

quality time; at 4 am?

No I am not lost, no the kumbh did not kill me and no I did not find my long lost brother / twin/ triplet. Oh I’m Alive……

Wow. Any place which lakhs of people believe in becomes holy purely by the power of faith. The Ardh Kumbh experience was brilliant and to twist what most travelers say about India - everything you heard about the Kumbh is true and the opposite is true as well. I have made notes and I hope to write a small travelogue on the entire experience. So I am not writing too much now. Watch this space for an ill written travelogue.

One thing is there – I definitely got home sick. Too much for a three day trip I guess, but what to do. I miss my family a good deal. And they went and saw Happy Feet without me. That too in the dome theatre. Jispa was telling me about it in the taxi ride to her bus stop.
Dropping her to the bus stop is 15 minutes o quality time. Nice thing it is, talking to her about random things. Today was a nice cool day. So waiting at the bus stop she was feeling cool, and that’s a good thing, cause that’s when she wants to cuddle up. So today I did what my dad used to do. I rubbed my hands hard together making them warm and then warming her hands, legs and face. Very very cool. Her friend Aanya also enjoyed the whole thing. Then she tried to rub her hands together and tried to warm me. Full TP.

One more incident. My wife actually was drying the clothes at 4 am. Don’t ask me why. please ask her.

hindu electricity

Kumb mela is the stuff of legends. Hindu movie legends that is, the place where you lose your brothers. So I guess every time my brother gets on my nerve its time to visit the Kumbh mela. I might just be able to lose him once and for all. Oh the joy of separation for 14 long years. The joy of meeting him after 14 years, the joy of saying hey 14 years were fun , hope you had a hard time!. Heheheheheh. I can really get sadist I guess. But I have no doubts that as kids my elder bro would have loved to do the Kumbh on me :) Hmmmm. I have booked and packed my bags for the Ardh Kumbh this year to Allahabad. I am leaving on Thursday and will be there for just three days, catching the big dip on the 14th, which is the makar sankranti dip. Supposedly a hugely cleansing dip. Uggh, the only part of my body that is going to wash away the sins I guess is my big toe. I guess it needs the cleansing as it has sinned many times by kicking people’s butt. But more importantly, I am soo dying to see the multitude of people, our ‘holy’ men, the aura, the atmosphere. Any one who has seen the aarti at the ganga banks in Varanasi and Haridwar will testify that the whole ritual, the spectacle, the energy building up for the climax is just extremely exciting. The build up is nothing short of spectacular. The people waiting, the Pujari with confident attitude, knowing he is the hero of the show, and there are millions watching, praying; looking at him and believing him to be a messenger to the Gods. The murmur before it starts and the cacophony at Haridwar where bells go off all over the place, wooden paddles banging the brass plates, people singing, and the jai gange maataa aarti blaring over the loudspeakers. And not to forget the really large aarti diyas, with the helper constantly pouring cool Ganga water on the pujari’s hand, lest the heat scald him. Oh wow… man I soo love it. There is something to the place. I dunno if it is in any way holy, but the faith of millions together believing it to be holy makes it so. Five thousand people together (at least) praying, lighting diyas, believeing, singing, anticipating…. That itself makes for electricity. The place also makes for lovely photography and moods. I hope to catch some part of the Kumbh in similar light as well. Hope, these are not dashed. Badi aarzo liye jaa raha hun.


this photo is of Haridwar ghat where there are all bathing before the aarti begins. this is just one part of the crowd this next one is of the aarti in full progress with the large aartis. this is the main idol aarti.
Now this one you will see tons of diyas all over the place. again this is only a part of the jumboree. Notice the camera phone in the picture trying to take a video of the aarti. I just love the opposites reconciling in the picture.

application application application

“It is not enough to have good intelligence” Descartes wrote: “the principal thing is to apply it well”. Bang on insight.

Good intelligence will help you get great hindsight. One would be able to deconstruct the entire situation, explain what went wrong, how could it have been better. Great for teachers and researchers and the general fartists. Don’t get me wrong I think its great, intellectual masturbation is probably a great thing. I do it all the time. It makes you look very very smart in front of others, but also do get me right, its important to differentiate masturbation from the actual thingie. You can’t substitute or subsist on it alone. Great analysis alone need not lead to great work.
Application of intelligence leads to foresight. The ability to learn from mistakes in a way so as to not repeat them is what makes the cut. Every one makes mistakes, the stupid ones make them twice and the real bad idiots make them three times. One is excusable, two is food for thought and three is – ‘shoot the bastard’. Foresight is what will take you places, and that only come by consistent application and constant learning. It comes not just by reading tons of books but by applying some of that logic somewhere.

Afterword: the more I read Gandhi, the more I love his philosophy, parts of it of course. Hmmm… interesting to see how it shapes up and how one is able to apply it in real life situations.

faltu stress

Examinations are a pain. I still get night mares about not being adequately prepared for the school and college exams. I get remind my self that I am old enough and have passed the exams. But that does not stop them from coming back. I sometimes wonder the kind of stress kids get put under to perform at the exams. Post the exam results the blame will solely be in the kid, but the hell was the parent doing in the first place? I guess parents must take around 50% of the credit of the marks that the kids get and by that logic take 50% of the blame. So next time a kid gets punishment for bad exam performance, the parent must be made to endure 50% of the same. What say?
Speaking of exams, I just felt like I gave one the other day. Jispa’s school admission was on in a prestigious school in BKC. While Jispa was taken in for her test (some kind of play way thing) we were given questions to answer. Man I felt that after a long time I was being put to the test. And I had to handwrite couple of answers after a real looong time. That too, with no spell-check and neat and clean writing. Boss…. Was it stressful? My fingers felt the stress in just about 10 lines. Heheheh. I am so used to typing as opposed to writing anything long… some day I think I will just forget how to write long sentences at all. But it was good fun given the answers. The vast number of books came to my rescue. I was not so surprised to remember some key points from readings and adapt them for the answers. Felt good. Now lets see, either I get thru because the answers seem so smart or I get rejected out right for getting farty. Nothing in between.

Many times in a queue for the bus I wonder how many does it take to break a queue and breakout of anarchy. Many times just one. And all suffer from the resultant anarchy. The discipline of being in a line irrespective of one odd person breaking it will result in all benefiting. Hmmm. Everybody thinks let me benefit first by getting in early, a little early mind you, and everybody suffers. And stepping into a crowded double-decker bus is easier said than done. Only those in mumbai know what a pain it can get as the step is too high and there is almost nothing to hold on to except at the edges.

Sleep well

Jispa has been sleeping alone for around a month now. Ever since we shifted into the new house. Many times I tuck her in. The other day while I was putting her to sleep she asked “why am I sleeping alone?” oops… difficult question…. “because I am four years old, and I will become five years old?” … hmmm.. Should I answer yes? But then a stroke of inspiration. “Who says you are sleeping alone” I point to her teddy bear by her side. “These are also with you” I say pointing to the ten terracotta ganapatys’ by her bed side. I like to call it her terracotta army. Hmm. She smiles as she points to some thing. “Yes and of course there is Bob the Builder as well” I say looking at the figurine overlooking her bed. Very nice. She continues her dazzling smile and closes her eyes. Another score for fatherhood.

I really miss her sleeping with me. The soft cuddly of girl all contracted in the frog pose as she feels cold. When I hug her while she is asleep “Papa” she says “if you hug me I can’t sleeeep!”. Bum..If I don’t hug you I can’t sleep. But then I just put a blanket on her and she straightens up and sleeps. Only to throw it all away – actually kick it and sleep again in the frog pose. Finally when in morning she is 30% awake will she come in and sleep in a hug. Sigh. I would like to freeze time.

melody khau khud jaan jao

The first blog of the New Year must be funny…. Says who?..... Arree…The first thing you do / write in the New Year will set the tone for the rest of the year….. Ya? Is that so? ….. Of course. That’s why we party into the New Year and have tons of fun hoping we carry it all into the year? …..Hmmm. but don’t we mostly get drunk at these parties and embrace strangers and profess false love?...... Arree. but we also spend the part with people with love…… Hmmm. Is that so? ……Yes of course, that’s why the new year is so important and the first things we do set the tone. Haven’t you heard, well begun is half done?.......... Acha, so then I am basically screwed…… Why? What happened? ……Well nothing. Bhagum bhag is the first movie I saw this year. aaaggggghhhhhh…… Oh god man you are screwed. Kuch nazar wazar utarna tera. Teri toh band hai. full shot picture hai woh….. I know. Tell me about it. I spent 350 bucks on it! if that is truly the tone of the movies to come then I am done for. This is one of the rare comic movies that I have not even laughed once at. Even a movie like No Entry I remember laughing around twice. But this one drew a zilch. Kya shitall movie tha… man. tu sach bolta hai… merit toh abhi pure saal ki waat hai. I will have to atone for this sin.

Acha ek baat bol… bol… yeh subah subah people scene rocks yaar…. As in? … I have never understood one thing…. What? … in the morning the guys who are all dressed up in formals and saris etc are literally running…. And? .... the guys who are all dressed up with sneakers and shorts are the ones ambling along? Aisa kyun?... hmmmm. Bindu. .. Bindu?... as in point, man….haan, toh yeh opposites reconcile wala maamla hua nah?... Chandra maa bindu… Chandra maa bindu?... as in good point, man…. aaagh, saaad joke yaar but still better than the movie… toh kya? Maarte rahun kya?.... main tere ko maaru. That will be the perfect start to the year… hmmm. But two questions…. Haan puch?.... (1) Can a man actually hit his alter ego? (2) melody itni choclatey kaise bani….

stress busters are so silly

How does one maintain a consistent mood, average or thought process through out the day, day in and day out, month after month, year after year? It is so bloody painful. Some times a series of shit happens and one is left feeling sad and down. Its increasing difficult to avoid the swings but thank fully its not as bad as it sounds. In negative swings I would typically be a little more circumspect and a little withdrawn. I also bounce back by doing things that give me pleasure and good news. So my worry is not the bounce but the questions that can one have a consistent behavior. Can I somehow convince myself to keep a steady mood and not be swung by the temporary emotions? How does one achieve this steady state? And this steady state has to be true to the inners of oneself else or else maintaining a state that is not consistent inwards and outwards would only mean more and more stress. Stress is something I seek to consistently avoid and skip. Not that life will not throw you stress. Stress is in its management. I learnt over millions of years to manage it better, handle it better, slide it off better. But sometimes it just becomes a little difficult. I think most of the difficulty will come from uncertainty. Not being sure, or being in dilemma’s is what causes the severity. I have learnt to handle shit, but am still learning to handle the undertainity. Slowly but surely it getting better. That’s why I am not so bothered by its depth but more by its mere presence. Sometimes the stress is accentuated by recognizing it as thus and therefore creating more of it by worrying more about it. Crazy but true. Not recognizing leads to more stress, recognizing leads to more stress. Only finally achieving solutions relieves it.
The biggest toll is actually eustress. The good stress that you have before a match. The stress that pushes you to perform. Today most of the stress is eustress.the tsress that you seemingly want to take as it improves your performance, keeps you on your toes and is essential. In times of plenty as I see now we are in, the biggest killer will be eustress. By itself in isolation it might be good, but the ability to manage many isolated instances of eustress might be something of a problem. How many flanks can you open? In bad times you close all and focus on the big problem. In really bad times lot more bad flanks open but can be many a times traced to one underlying problem. In times of plenty many such good stress points get created, thus the ability to multi manage these and create cohesive driving force is tested. While it might not be as gloomy as it sounds but there is a warning there. I will learn, you will learn, we all learn someday. It’s the bloody interim that is difficult to control and manage. I think the key solution is to first reduce the intensity.

As I write I was talking to a friend whose nick is goripari. translated as white fairy. So generally was chatting about some work and I got inspired by her name and I wrote the silly poem for her….

Tell me oh white fairy
Which way is the dairy
Do we drink to our health
Or wait for our wealth
Any way the ganga flows
Taking water from the snows
Cleaning sins as it must
Creating boons from busts
What to do, how to live
Live we must, drink we must
Are the answers in the dairy
Tell me oh white fairy….

I must thank her for this … it suddenly put me in a rocking mood. Made me feel all nice and charged up. A little creativity goes a long way… even if it does not make any sense.

blind man's buff and father powers

I was at the international airport dropping off a cousin. I dropped them at the departure and went down to park the car. Now if you want to travel in lifts in mumbai airport then you better be blind. No no, there is nothing obscene about it but only the fact that all the numerals on the lift buttons have been erased. The only thing that’s left is the braille dots on the buttons. So what do you do? I guess Braille is pretty useless if you can see it ( you know what I mean). So the next smart things I to look real closely and press the button that’s worn out the most and hope in hell that that’s the right one and the right floor. Come to think of it from the car park I would not know what level is the departure area. So even if the buttons were there, I would still press the most used button to get to the right area. A-ha…. The power of the wisdom of crowds. Elementary Watson!

Also another thing I love doing is carrying around my daughter on my shoulders. It’s good fun. But also what amazes me is that how a father does not get so tired carrying his daughter. I like to carry her long distances this way. I was quite surprised that we went to Palitana, which is some few thousand steps up and then down. I carried her on my shoulders around 85% of the way. Without really getting tired. I sure it’s the mind thing. I also remember walking up and down and all around Matheran with her on me. Being a father is so wonderful in many ways and this tireless energy is just one of them. At the same time she can get soo tiresome :) this is how father hood reconciles opposites.

This is when not only her but also her friend decided that i was the beast of burden.

Also they figured that blinding me would be good thing to do.

christmas fun

Little things go a long way…. Office must be a fun place. We spend more time here than home. I have always believed that one should be able to do a lot more things to make the place livelier. What’s the point of being in a drab bloody place? Life is colorful. Everything must be colorful. What say? And if we in marketing, being the so called whacked ones can’t live up than might as well be in accounting. Sorry for the barb but I think the most boring people are in audit, accounts and administration. These guys take themselves and their jobs sooo seriously, it just worth the effort to ruffle a few feathers here and there. The key is to know a few skeletons that are likely to be in his closet as well know the rules very well. Becoz the guys so live by the rules if anything is slightly off it or beyond it, they are most likely to get confused. So I really enjoy riling them. Faltu kiddas I have on this. This is our Christmas celebrations in office. Its nice to get all the team together to celebrate Christmas. Its nice to have a Christmas tree, but its infinitely nicer to get them all to put it up together. KEY WORD HERE >> TOGETHER. Lots of offices have Christmas trees, but our team has one they all can be proud of. After all (from my earlier blog) “Pride matters more than money”.

letter to you.

Hey jippy. Some day you would read this blog and wonder, mera baap pagal tha. If he had to write something personal why did he choose something so open like a blog to write it. the point is that you are right. Teara baap pagal hai. ai!
I like the concept of open book. To tell a lot to a lot of people. I like to be more open than closed. I like more and more people to be aware of things in my brain and in my heart. The more people see what’s in the more they hopefully learn at my expense. Well its my bit of contribution to ‘world peace’. Ya sure. Well I duno. I just hope that some one some where is getting some little pleasure reading my blog. Sometimes reading even simple personal letters to you my dear. I love the relationship I have with you and I would love the world to know of it as well. And its not that the bloody blog has amassive readership in any case. I am not sure how many people you will meet in your life, that have read this blog. I certainly don’t think the number would be material. But the benefits of a public blog may be many. For one, since I know some friends read this as well, I try to have a little variety. Some random articles, some funny one, and some faltu fart (philosophy). And I sure hope you don’t grow up to be a pain and wonder what an ass of a baap you had, who told the world of the small silly, potentially embarrassing things that you did as a kid. Yaar, I think it’s kinda cute. But sorry if you feel bad about it. The risk is worth taking as I write. The flip side – no blog. And yes I sure sure hope that you find the blog some where worth your while. Full tragedy if you hate it. Even if you do, let me know fast enough. I hope to be writing this well into the future.
Hehehehe. And what else. I hope all is fine with you. Hopefully I am not dead by the time you are reading age for this. But then life is tough. Grind hard and dig hard. No body has it easy. Don’t take solace in other people’s miseries. Learn to have an internal locus of control. Take all what you can on your chest. Take blows and fight on. Don’t make the same error twice and use EVERY opportunity to learn. Every body , every thing teaches. Be smart. And above all – be nice.
I have been reading Satyagraha in South Africa. I cannot explain how bloody profound and brilliant Stayagraha is. The difficulty is in its simplicity. So simple and yet so bloddy difficult. I am trying to use some of its principles somewhere. Some blogs in the future would have some reference to it. Simply put – the truth shall set you free. FREE. What an outstanding feeling. The freedom glow from being above it all, the freedom glow of knowing more. The freedom glow of inner peace. The freedom glow.
Jyada ho gaya nah! Thoda tone down karna chaiye tha. But whattodo? Fart is also free!

principles

defination of principle - ethical standard: a standard of moral or ethical decision-making

Principles are cast in stone? Every person would have a certain set of principles. In fact not having principles is a principal in itself. I normally pride my self in having a set of reasonably set of strong principles. Normally they are not for compromise. Recently one got troubled and I almost moved. Then the moment of truth and back to normal. The moment of truth is one of the most exciting things to happen to someone. It proves faith in the system. The internal system that beats in and out all day long. It defines you. Its always nice to see that the system is tested and strengthened. If it is not tested it will become weak. Thank you wife, thank you god, thank you all. My system works and it’s not for sale. So screw you if you want to buy it. I decide and I stick by it!
That felt good. I don’t feel like writing anymore. This is too much for today. In fact this will stand for a looong time to come.

Jispa Art Mural

Jispa painted her first mural! I always wanted to paint on the walls. So the first thing I did when I got my own walls was allow Jispa to paint on it. I had a Saturday morning free with her and me alone. So we decided to have some fun. She got so excited when I let her know that she could paint a wall on her own. She was like “No sheet? hehehe”. Guess that’s what kids want. Just to do something that was till sometime anathema. So she freaked out on the paintings. In hindsight it looks quite cool. I guess we will do the entire wall and then the entire house. Full on!

See the pic below and see if you can decipher what my kid is painting. Look thru her eyes. Answers below.

1. A building with doors and a hole to see who is at the door. The zig zags are the steps.
2. Simple one – butterfly
3. hahaha bet you did not get this one – crayon
4. Boat
5. Another impossible one, clue lies in the color – grass (with a black outline)
6. Excellent remark – akin to the one her teacher makes on her books.
7. TV
8. Life cycle of a plant – the top of the plant is chopped off by the photo
9. Life cycle of a butterfly. Notice the caterpillar and pupae.
10. Boy in a fighting picture?!!??
11. Six point star.

Any one with a Freudian mind bent wanting to synthesis the same and give me clues on what she is likely to grow up into?