pressure cooker

I hate myself. What a devil I turn out to be when I am teaching Jispa under exam pressure. It becomes a pressure cooker environment and the whole thing is just about to burst.

I hate exams. I hated them as a child and I hate them as an adult. Everything you know or don't know is left to the two hours in which you vomit out everything who have tried to assimilate. It designed to give joy to the sadist bloody exam setter who tries to outsmart the poor kid by asking some weird questions. Joy in failure.

I love teaching. I enjoy teaching. I was dying to have a kid to whom I could teach everything I knew. this blog in many ways is an expression of my teaching. I have been teaching for 13 years, and all the while improving and hoping that my own kid will take the best out of it. But then came the exams. When exams are on the head and you have to teach against a portion with a view to out fox or merely keep up with the exam paper - the pressure turns on you. You are expected to teach to succeed. How is that the right way to teach. The best way to teach is to get someone to discover, to find out, to fall and rise again. here formulas and shortcuts and rules are to be applied. I have been teaching math for the last few weekends. I have improved  a lot in my ability to manage myself. I hate myself when I am teaching Jispa thus. I lose my temper, I lose my balance, I get aggressive with myself more than anything else.

This time, I have improved a lot. A lot less anger expressed. A lot more explanations and lot more ways to do things. In time and work studies, with Jispa, we figured out our own logic for solving sums. Use  simple logic basis how you fundamentally understand the sum and then do it.

I remember that in the 10th standard, I had devised my own way to calculate the answer to the sums given. I preferred to do it my way and I had spoken to my teachers about it. My tuition teachers and my school teachers. both agreed and encouraged me to do it my way. As long as I did it my way and explained the way I did it, it was right. the 10th standard mathematics were the best time of my study life. I loved doing it and it brought be great joy. It was not math but logic. It was not a formula but a problem to be solved. I was so good at it that in many cases I knew the answer as soon as I saw the sum. Then on it was just a simple solution. The logic in math excited me.

These weekends have been too stressful. Though it's gotten better. I have gotten better at handling this. A five-day work stress followed by a pressure cooker of a weekend is something I find too much to bear. I try and cope with it but it gets too much. Many things contribute - first the sleep deprivation of the week thanks to Jispa’s swim schedule and then the pressure of work, then the long driving, the meetings, the extra backup work I try and do to stay relevant and then the teaching at colleges, the pilates class - wow. Sometimes I think I might just spontaneously combust. Poof!

Jispa has moved her swimming trying to another club. This is the GAF club run by a swim father who wants to bring to India some of the best methods from around the world. So Jispa now has a punishing swim schedule like she has never ever done before. Plus She swims for 6 days in a  week. Plus she has land training where she does some grueling workouts. Looking at her swim and looking at her being dead, I felt really bad and had to fight out a bit of salty water from my eye. I don't my daughter to do this. I have had various chats with her. Do you really want to do this? I want her to quit and relax. Read a book, watch  movie, dream under the sky. Anything else will do.

Yesterday we had a chat again. She said, she really wanted to swim well and compete at the nationals. She wants to go there and be there once. She says that this year is her best chance. She WANTS to do it.

I thought about it and then told her “ fine. you want to do this then go do it. For the next four to five months - go for your swim. Do what it takes. I promise you that I will not ask you for your studies and for your academics. I will work with you on studies and push you to do your best in swimming.” On Friday, I had used my daddy veto power and decided to not send her for the morning swim as she was looking very tired. Now I won't do that. I will let her push herself, massage her and manage her to get her swimming first. With that, her this year of studies will get a bit of a hit. But that is ok. Her basics are strong and her ability to study and keep up shouldn't be compromised. I will figure this with her and help her manage.

Writing is therapy. I have not been writing and I have had very little time to introspect. Writing helps me do that. While I write I and forced to think about what I really hold close to my heart. I hold being a fun dad more important than being a ‘successful’ dad. I want to watch a few movies with my kid, watch some kabaddi and watch some clouds. And hopefully, in the process teach and learn at the same time. Writing this post and helped my strengthen my beliefs. I have been  an ass, a jerk and I want to change that. I know the answer, I know what to do. I just have to take a chill pill. I have to believe in myself and remind myself on what I hold dear. I hold happiness dear. I want not love and teach what is right and not what the examiner wants. I want to tell them screw you - I want Jispa to win without bowing down to these jokers. I don't want pressure on her… anything more than what she puts on herself.  She has enough pressure to start with - peer pressure, self-belief pressure, confidence pressure....So help me God. Really help me so.

process over results

This month is possibly going down as the most confused month i have had since a long bloody time. Ever since i started the blog, one thing remained firm - at least one post a month. I thought that this month is going to be an epic month. I would have just started working in my new firm and there would be plenty of updates and hence plenty to talk about. The truth is that there was plenty to talk about and plenty to update.  A lot of things happened in this month. i think the problem was reverse, so much happened that actually a paralysis happened on what all to talk about.

The new job has been a roller coaster of emotions. Too many emotions to handle. I tried working hard… really hard, i tried giving freedom, i tried letting go, i tried everything. Sometimes things just cant move that easy. 

on the home front - there was another battle of epic proportions! Jispa had her exams and this time she was to prepare for it on her own. Five days before her math paper she asked for help. I sit down with her only to realise that she not only requires help - she requires a complete revision of the entire portion. Everything. She might have understood while the teacher taught but now, its gone for her head. I had to do almost every sum in the text book. So in 5 days i had to cram in a few months of work. the stress and the tension of all this was extremely high and impossible to handle. We were so angry at her. Overtime we used to ask her and she was maintained that she understood and had studied her portion. But when we did math - she was completely off. So everyday i would reach home and get her to study. we would do sums from the notebook. Certain stuff, i could teach her, but certain stuff, she had to teach me before i understood enough to teach it back to her. How was this even possible… I have no clue. On one occasion, we had house the powers of youtube to help us. Finding the squad root of a number using division method. This was something completely alien to me and Jasmine. So we studied on youtube and then explained what Jispa had written in her notebook.

This was a project that Jasmine and me had to do together. In the end - it was so intense that it consumed all our free time. We were so pissed at Jispa. She would have failed for sure if we had not intervened. At the end - her paper went off pretty ok. there was one question which a real googly. something that required me to think quite a bit before i could safely answer. Jasmine too was confused on that one. this was not even something that was taught in class. I don't understand this - I understand asking questions outside the base, but asking questions that aren't tackled in class at some level - i disagree. but still it did really matter. We told Jispa that now onwards - you are not studying only by yourself. You will study on Saturdays with us and you will do a lot of math. Also i told her - give your exam with no worries - now whatever you get in math we wont tell you anything.

Jispa sis not quite understand this. Why would we scold her and make her study and then tell her to forget about the marks. Its simple really. Process matters not results. thats what i have always maintained. If you insist on studying on your own and not want us to interfere then you get good marks. But if you get us involved from the start itself and allow us to help you and push you to do better, then in the end your results are our results and we are in it together. Math we did together. We should have started earlier and done better, but its ok now. you have got enough stress from us on this itself. So now lets focus on the exams which you give without stress.

I have had the stress of exams for a long time. I hated them. For many years afterwards i still got nightmares on giving exams. that i have reached the exam hall and i am not prepared for the papers. i am blank in front of the paper. I did not want to give this stress to Jispa. Invariably there is enough on her. It seems after the math paper - a lot of kids cried.  Around 10-15 girls and a couple of guys cried that either they could not finish or the paper was tough. Jasper didn’t. thank God! After all - it was just a  math paper and nothing much beyond.  there is no point stressing so much. Even the class topper cried. Whats the point in being topper, if you cry after the paper. Seesh.

So now i am dying to see how I fared in the math paper. Or how we all fared in the math paper. The stress of this is too much to bear.

So that came along with my new job and screwed my brains twice over.

It was a great month. Also this new job, i sit outside in the bay and i dont have a keyboard draw and it hurts to type so much on the laptop, plus i have taken a mac for the first time… ohhh… this is going to be painful! But at least - i hit the one post per month minimum program!

its awesome fun

To continue in the same vien with the last post… yesterday I was left alone in the morning with Jispa. My job was simple – feed her breakfast, get her to do homework and the practice math.

First things first – breakfast. That meant looking in the fridge for interesting things to eat. We had the Khulchas and then we had the zataar powder that we bought from London. One of the lovely bits of the London trip was a visit to the Edgware road which has these amazing rows of Lebanese restaurants. The fun bit is that the cuisine is a delight for vegetarians as well. We were spoilt for choice there with the amazing veg offering. In our naivety we entered the restaurant and asked – is there veg on the menu, he almost choked while answering – of course. I had been told about the street, but our host in London had recommended it highly and that’s why we ended up going. That was where we bought zataar to bring it back home. Made in Lebanon to be shipped to London to be brought back to India. So much for food miles.

So breakfast yesterday was fixed. Jispa loves zataar as well. After Jasmine left, I took the khulcha and put the zataar on it. Then I put shredded cheese all over it. Then olives and then a cheese slice. The cheese slice is yellow and the shredded cheese is white. So it gives an interesting coloring to the whole thing. Then in the micro it goes for a minute. Remove it and crumble feta on it – voila you have three cheese zataar khulcha. We absolutely loved it.

Post breakfast we sat to do our homework. I can’t really help her in Hindi. She asked for the Hindi translation of Sports day which I promptly asked Google. It was boringly apparent as ‘khel divas’. Then we got to the math. Here Jispa had to do fractions. After a few sums, I realized that while Jispa knew the sums she wasn’t really very clear about the fractions. She couldn’t visualize the problems. What then happened was a one and half hour session on fractions. Different sets of issues, different problems, different ways of looking at things. I was explaining the basic concepts of fractions to her. Then we went on to LCM and why we need LCM to add or subtract fractions. This helped her quite a bit. She was simply learning how to do the method without really understanding how or why. This way she could solve a few fractions directly without even using the paper. I don’t know how it might have impacted her immediately in helping her solve her sums faster but surely she walked away with a better understanding and a lesser hate for math.

Math is fun, it’s logical and it’s amazing. It’s evolved so beautifully. The multiplication and division and the fractions. They have a life of their own. I love them and now I love the fact that I am reliving them. I too did not know so much about them. While explaining to Jispa I am forced to look at them with a beginner’s eye. Then I am forced to bring them down to simple equations and situations and then look at them fundamentally. I broke it up into pies and pies and how you can get different parts of the pies to add up. I never did see them that way before. It was lovely and Jispa too loved it. She did get scolded in the middle but in the end she still loved it. I guess I must take more such lectures with her. And now I felt that we should have a white board in our home as well. The current one was designed for Jispa to access while she was three.

So Jispa and I are having some fun with math. Then today morning while driving her to the bus stop I asked her again if she enjoyed the session. She loved it. Then suddenly a thought stuck me and I asked her….When you multiply two numbers by each other – let’s say 7X7 you get a bigger number… But when you multiply two fractions ½ X ½ you get a smaller number… why?

Oops… it stumped her and me together. If multiplication is merely repeated adding then ½ X ½ should be 1, then why is it ¼

It took me some time to clear this out in my mind as well. 7X7 is seven TIMES seven and if you do seven multiplied by half you do… seven times half.  So I explained to her that seven into 1 is seven. Then seven into any number less than 1 will be a lower number. And hence ½ into ½ is half of half, hence a smaller number. So any number multiplied by a fraction has to be a lower number.

It seems so easy now. But to suddenly think of it and then logically solve in your head was so much fun. Especially with you 11 year old daughter. I loved it. The only problem is that I can only do these on Sundays or Saturdays when her exams are not on the head. Else it’s up to mom to ensure regularly work happens.

Mom and dad are in many ways opposites reconciling into each other to make parenting as a whole work. Its good fun going up with my daughter.

so how does it happen?

Yesterday at home Jispa happily showed me her brand new geometry compass box. In Jispa’s school, the fees cover these basic things. I guess they do that so that all the kids have uniform tools. This helps eliminate kids who could possibly be tempted to get Ferrari geometry boxes (wouldn’t that be a cool product). While she showed me the same, I recollected that as a kid I rarely ever got a brand new geometry compass box. Being the third in line I would invariably get hand-me-downs. So I picked every piece from the box one by one. The divider, the compass, the protractor, the two angles and ofcourse the free pencil. The pencil has improved form my days. Now they give a pen-pencil. Yes the lovely Camlin compass box.

Then I saw her geometry book. I remember my first class in geometry very well. The same things were taught. A point, a segment, a line and a ray. The same bloody things. The definitions were also the same, the drawings were also the same. It brought back nice memories. A point – it is something that does not have any length breadth and height. It’s just that – a point. A line is nothing but a series of points. I was good at geometry always. I loved it and I just couldn’t understand how anyone would get anything wrong in geometry. Possibly because I was good at visuals so I enjoyed geometry. I remember getting all the sums right in my final tenth standard exam. They cut 2 marks for no bloody reason and I ended up at 73 out of 75. The theory was that if they give you full marks then they have to give you a medal or something, which the board reserved for students from Marathi medium schools. Well who cares. Add that to the 74 I scored on Algebra, I finished at 147 from 150 in Math at school.

In morning while dropping Jispa off to swimming class, I told her that I loved Geometry and I would always get great marks in that. She then decided to test my skills. “So tell me – which is longer – a ray or a line?”. Aha… “Nice one Jispa, both are same – they both go on till infinity”. Hehe. Nice try kid. Then something just struck me. “Jispa – a point has no length breadth or height, correct?” “Yes” she replied. “And a line is nothing but a series of points, like a thousand points together?” “Yes” she said again. So then I asked “how come that a point which is like zero length, multiplied a thousand times has a length when zero into thousand is zero. So if nothing is put together a thousand times, how do you get something?”. I felt her bulb light up in her head “Fascinating” she said. ‘Fascinating’… that’s a nice term to use, I thought. I got her thinking. The truth is that I thought of this conundrum for the first time myself. How come this shit works? I can understand that a point can be infinitesimally small. That can help denote a starting point for math. Hence it will be zero otherwise you would need to consider the size of the point as well when you calculate the distance between two points to get the length of the segment. All this I assume… I know nothing of this. But how can nothing add up to something? Jispa was right. It’s fascinating. So I asked her – “so you are going to ask your teacher about this?” “Nah, she will just reply that” “it’s too advanced” I interjected. “no, she will just say that you will learn it in higher class”. Ok same thing.

I love having these conversations with Jispa. I keep telling her. When you grow up, do something nice. Become a geologist and then I can come with you to different places. Or study History – then we can do to all the palaces together and you can teach me. Or do zoological studies and I can come to various forests with you. I love learning from anyone. My nephew is a whacko. He is a lizard and snake super freak. So every time I meet him, I ask him stuff about snakes or other creepy crawlies. He studies in Doon school and he comes down for his vacations. This time around on a friend’s BBM he learnt that there was a snake found along with the stuff that was being shifted. He caught a friend and went there to catch the snake. He was coolly telling us later that it was a rat snake and hence not poisonous. Ya sure. He did catch it. What a complete mad man. What I wonder is that the adults around let me do it. He would have shown some attitude there for the others to trust him. I don’t know if I would have let him do it I was around.

Whatever, it’s fun to learn from him and it’s fun to learn from Jispa. I guess its sweeter when someone younger is teaching stuff to you. I actively try and learn from them. Of course some stuff you don’t want to learn from them, your ego gets in the place. But for the most, I guess, I like to learn from them. There is something that the youth has that you can never ever replicate. Teaching has put in touch with them and I really do learn a lot from them.

what else matters?

I just realised that I am horrible at teaching Jispa anything that comes close to school work. I have a deep rooted abhorrence for it. First came Hindi. There I had a natural excuse. I could understand jack of what was going on. As she continues her quest on the Hindi road I am only to recollect my own fears and trauma at having to study Hindi and Marathi and get the dam ‘maatras’ right. Also I never understood why all the vernacular language teachers had to be equal terrors and evil. Just because they got their maatras right why couldn’t they understand that I had no clue which one was where.
Leaving Hindi alone, today Jasmine asked me to take her dictation. I had to open the first chapter in her Oxford English book and give spellings from there. Jispa stopped reading this level at least a year ago. She is far more advanced that what I read. But of course the spellings is another matter altogether. Spellings have been my problem as well. In many ways the spell check in Microsoft word has been specifically designed for dyslexics like me. I am still not sure on how to spell science and hence let the spelling ‘sicence’ pass, till Jasmine heard that and screamed from the kitchen. To get a sample of my spellings go to my first few posts. Then I was typing directly into the text bar of blogspot and getting all my spellings wrong. Quickly I learnt enough to type out the post on word and then transfer the same on to the post, post the corrections.
Add to it that I simply hated studies. So while I started taking her dictations, I added words like ‘at’ ‘a’ ‘ran’ etc. that was just to liven things up. Jasmine gave me a stare and then understood that I was pretty much incorrigible. After the spelling, I had to ask comprehension q’s from the chapter. That was fun. I started asking random trick questions and other funny ones. Jasmine now had had enough. She took the book from me and started asking the proper questions. Jispa was rattling off the answers. I went to jasmine ad whispered in her ears, ‘you are actually testing her comprehension on this chapter. Yesterday she read the Abhimanyu story from the Amar Chitra Katha and she could rattle off the story today morning.’ This was way down the value chain for her. She even managed some other outstanding answers that required her to think of something laterally and assume something or look beyond the story for answers. I was pretty impressed. I am not taking her tuitions for sure.
Yesterday Jispa and I got talking. One aunty was explaining to Jispa how her teacher had funny pronunciations and how they used to laugh when she said m and n and x and y in math class. While Jispa got the joke she wanted to know how the alphabets made it into math class. I thought a bit and figured that she could get a handle on algebra since her ability to take a little leap of imagination was wired in. I tried to explain that many times x is used as a blank or a dash. 1+x = 3, then what is x. she struggled a bit then I reframed it as 1+___ = 3. what plus 1 is three. A ha… x is then equal to two. Then I complicated it a bit to m+n = 2. aha… 1+1. Then further to m+n = 3. aha… m is 1 and n is 2… or I corrected her as m is 2 and n is 1. so m can be 1 or 2 and n can be 1 or 2. That was fun. This was all in the car while waiting for Jasmine. She called us out to break this conversation. I don’t know how much I could have gone on. Possibly negative numbers? Or even larger algebraic sums. Eeks. I love teaching this stuff. Especially if it’s not in the portion. The whole typecast of dad teaching math is fun. I guess it will last till her 8th or 9th standard. Beyond that the sums will confuse the shit out of me. Basically till we get to derivatives I should be fine. Post which… you are on your own Jispa. Have fun. It would be so much fun to learn from her once she majors in some thing. Anything but boring and sadistic accounts. That was the pits. I see no value add in having an accounting conversation with her. Once I even tried explaining a periodic table with her. That too was a load of fun.
I don’t know how much she gathers and retains but the moment is fun, for me and for her. We enjoy it a lot. What else matters?

getting it right

What happens when you have two trainers? Hehehe. First we train her at home for the elocution competition and then yesterday her elocution teacher at school trained her. While she did not change the narration too much, basic differences were there in the approach. I teach to be a little over the top in emotion. A little over emotion is ok. With all the kids going for one or two tones, I like to teach at least five six tones if not more. So not everything is loud. Some words are soft, some loud, some with a chuckle, a sad one, a surprise etc… This ensures she stands out in the crowd. With kids coming and going in a procession, elocutions can get boring for the judges as well. My belief is that only if you first entertain, then will you have a chance to win. The teacher has an obvious emphasis on the clarity. She sacrifices emotion for clarity while I do the reverse. Clarity aa jaaye ga if the emotion is right.
But I guess it is wrong to undermine the teachers experience. So as I was training her today (95% of training is in the car while I drop her to the bus stop), she kept telling me that her teacher taught her otherwise. Like good parents I conceded. I allowed her to keep what the teacher said but I still tried to push for subtle emotions within the words. So that there is still enough variation in the poem. I have to teach something that takes the clarity that the teacher teaches while allowing for the emotion that makes the poem come alive.
What I am also happy is that her teacher does not simply teach the emotion. She explains why the emotion fits into the story. Like one line (“which added up to 46, or its it 52?) Where she says that you can’t be loud because you are thinking and calculating. Fair. I had told her to be loud in – ‘added upto 46’, as she is jumping to a number and then think for ‘or is it 52’ as now you sheepishly think you have made a error.
Aaaaaa. I don’t really bother. It’s right as long as there is a justification. And as long as Jispa understands it, she will be getting it right either way.
The greatest thing in parenting is that I remember my childhood. I remember a lot of incidents even from as long back as 2nd standard. So at least I know which mistakes to avoid. At least I am making fresh mistakes. I clearly remember having conflict when mom taught differently from what the teacher taught. I used to argue with mom, when she insisted otherwise. Some times I was right while I assume that most of the time mom would have been right, but the stress of POSSIBLY getting it wrong was greater the stress ACTUALLY getting it wrong. As the latter is a small thing when you just get corrected, while the former shimmers all through, from when you do home work till you hit school. So with Jispa I never argue with her if she tells me that the teacher taught her otherwise. I merely explain my point and let her do it her way. The stress is just not worth it. She will soon figure. Making mistakes is a better way to learn than to get it right all the time.
One incident jumps to memory. While I was an average to above average kid in class (rank 8 to15 out of 60 kids), in tenth standard I really started doing well in maths. I was always good but in tenth, focussed studies and better practice helped me shine in my favourite subject. Also my teachers were pretty cool. I even figured a different way of solving a sum which I thought was right. My school teacher Mr Thomas, allowed me to keep that way while just telling me to write down the calculation in steps and not jump to the answer. That was great motivation I guess. So in tenth in one of the unit tests I scored 49 on 50. Mr. Thomas looked at the final score and asked if I knew where I went wrong. I showed him and he got pissed. He said he should have cut more marks for that mistake. I had done everything right everywhere but in one sum in the end I had totalled 7+5 as 11. That was my only chance of scoring a perfect score ever in my life. I had blown it up. I knew in the finals the boards wouldn’t let me score a perfect score. Sure enough, I got 74 on 75 in algebra and 73 on 75 in geometry. There was only a one mark error in algebra where there was a fill in the blank on a technical math issue. So yes, I missed my perfect score as 7+5 is 12 and not eleven. Till today whenever I see 7+5, I will first think 11 and then see that problem in front of me and I know the answer is 12, and I regret missing the perfect score. I remember solving the sum in the exam, I remember checking it, I remember saying to myself – 7 +5 = 11. Then I remember the paper duly corrected and I remember Mr. Thomas’s words. This was all in 1990. I just won’t forget it.
Look at the trade off, if I had got it right, this would have not been a part of my memory. At best I might have remembered the perfect score, that’s all. My memories would have been worse off. Aarrggghhh. I want the score and I want the memory.

testing times

Jispa is going through her reviews at school. Now that she is in the first standard these would be her first quasi – exams. I always hated exams and I still sometimes get nightmares that I am horribily unprepared, which at many times would have been an accurate representation of reality. I wonder how I got through college passing the exams. Econometrics was a famous one. I still don’t know what the hell it means. And I passed it. I don’t know how. In 11th standard in commerce we had an option to choose between Math and SP. Now in tenth I scored a whopping 147 on 150 in math with 74 in algebra and 73 in Geometry. I know for a fact that I only got one mark in algebra wrong. It was first of the fill in the blanks. They had five marks of fill in the blanks. The first one being some sort of a quiz question. Something like is 1 an integer or something like that. Rest were all perfect sums. The word was that they purposely cut marks if you hit 75 else they have to give you an award or something. So basically I was something of a math cat. Hence in 11th I said chuck it, lets take SP and work at math in FYBCom later. What is SP? Er…. Secretarial practice. They basically teach us letter writing and other correspondence. I think was designed to help weak math students from running away from 11th. I can’t believe I did that. Though I am pretty happy I did that. I just traded in my favorite subject for letter writing. Not that subject helped me too much but one thing I can tell you for sure, I write more letters (emails) in a day than I do math sums. The math sums we do are learnt in the 5th grade tops. At least it gave me some more time for doing nothing in college. Doing nothing got me my wife. Beat that Mr. Mathematician.
In FYBCOM, when math was reintroduced for a year, I took classes and in those I was happy that I hadn’t lost my touch. I was good as ever solving and understanding derivates better than others, a mile ahead of the lot.
Over the years I have come to the conclusion that math for me is visual I don’t see numbers I see parts and wholes. The other day when we were buying 18 pieces of something at 5 each, my friend along with calculated 18X5 while I did 20X5 minus 10. he did not understand why I did that. I have been doing that since I can remember. 7 is a bottom half number in my head while 3 is a top half number. Similarly 27 is a bottom half number while 124 is a top half number. I see rows of tens, twentys and thritys etc and the additions are done by changing rows. So 27 plus 27 is a 40 plus 4 and a row change and is therefore 54. Weird…
So coming back to FY. I crack the classes but when we begin to start study a fortnight before the exams, I open my notes and I see the sums and my head reels. I can’t remember any of these sums. They are all the derivate sums that mean nothing to me. For some reason I forget them all. What the hell am I going to do? We study some old papers and we realize the pattern of marks. 20 marks for simple algebra (the stuff I got 74 on 75 for); so that’s done. Then we have 20 marks for BASIC programming. Yes BASIC programming. How did that get into math class. I dunno but since that was stuff that I had done in 9th standard that would have been a breeze, only thing is that I needed to brush it up a bit. Jasmine was the cat at BASIC and she taught me stuff. So there attempting 40 marks and getting a little more than 35 was the aim… actually anything more than 34 was acceptable :). Maa mein pass ho gaya, maa… mein pass ho gaya… And math was my super favorite subject. So I guess you would know how I would have fared at the other subjects. But in spite of all that I have no clue how I passed with first class through out. I guess the fact that accounts was really simple as a subject might have something to do with it and the other subjects required little knowledge else expect the ability to write long English.
But an accounts was another wild story. In 11th I was out of school and flying on my independent wings. So I sat in my first unit tests and got some 7 marks on 50 and then in the first semester exam I got some 2 marks on hundred. My really sweet class teacher (her name was Ms. Vahi) takes me one side and says, “dear boy, you might be the CR but do know that if you do not get 105 aggregate in all you four exams in a subject, you will repeat the year. You WILL repeat the year.” The penny dropped. I studied for the second unit test. Took classes from my sister on reconciliation of errors and topped the class (second I think). Some things went wrong in the final and I missed on the scores. I did not realize that I have to pay attention to trial balance (the basic of accounting) and that would carry most marks. Hence my aggregate came to something like 75. I was doomed to fail. Another obscure came to my aid – you need 75 in three subjects and 105 in three subjects to pass. Hence you could get a total of 30 marks in three subjects each as grace. Maa mein pass ho gaya, maa… mein pass ho gaya…
Wow. I am sure Ms. Vahi gave me some grace to hit 75 so that I hit the grace marks to pass. I can’t believe I risked that. That was staying on the edge… the very precipitous stupid edge. But alls well that ends well.

Well this post was about Jispa’s reviews. Now you know what stand I have on exams and I don’t really want to put any more burden on her. The first review has been a test of our belief. We don’t want to send message that school is trivial yet we don’t want it to scare her. On other subjects she would do great but hindi is omsething she might be a bit lower than her own average. So we did a small take up and I realized it required brushing up on my Hindi. Udbilava, jata, eravat, were some words amongst others that I might have got stumped on. Jispa knew 90 percent of her words so I just wrote down al the words in English and she had to give me the Hindi versions. Underlining and constantly asking her the 10percent words helped her I guess. We started yesterday and continued till the bus stop today. By the time she left, she knew them all. one remained specially tricky –charan. I told her remember that you don’t put feet in your moth but you do put your favorite churan. That’s how you remember. She remembers ilag by enlarge…hehehehe.

This was fun. Jispa’s first review saw us on the test!