tiny steps

Today morning while Jasmine was dropping Jispa off to school, she called me. Jispa has a question “is religion compulsory? Like is it compulsory to have a religion or in an official form you can leave it blank?”. Hmm interesting thought. “I dont know for sure, but I think its optional to have a religion, but many government forms and school forms don’t allow you to say ‘none’”. “but isn’t it my fundamental right to practice whatever religion I want; don’t we have that as a right?”. “well yes, you have but democratic society moves a little slow for this. See things move slowly. Earlier there was the ballot paper and people who dint want to vote for anyone, went and made two stamps on the paper, invalidating their vote. It was a form of protest in which they also got to the booth and ensured that no one cast a dummy vote on their behalf and they refused to choose amongst the crap. Once the electronic voting machines came in this was not possible and hence the NGOs lobbied for “none of the above”. So now you can press none of the above (NOTA) and exercise your right to vote for no one. Yes – right now, even if NOTA wins the majority, nothing will happen and the politician with the majority is still elected but slowly it will make an impact. It will embarrass people and who knows what this will entail in the future. Similarly, today on the Aadhar card, you can choose your sex as male, female or transgender. This is also a big thing in the long run. These are small steps for now that will have greater impact. Democratic society moves slow but it moves with the collective will of the people. Things today will have impact tomorrow. While you were always free to be an atheist, people happily just put in their father’s religion in the form. Now it will slowly change.” Then I remembered and recounted a story of a friend of mine who married inter caste and had a kid. They fought a lot with the authorities and left the religion on the birth certificate blank.

Read story here http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Repository/ml.asp?Ref=VE9JTS8yMDA5LzEyLzI3I0FyMDAxMDQ

Yes, democracy moves slowly and that is by design. It’s also something to do with collective will and conscience of the people. Jispa and I went to see the Guardians of the Galaxy 2. We now see super hero movies without torturing Jasmine. It’s been a great thing to have father daughter time outs watching these action movies. Before the movie starts in India, the national anthem is played. This has been a source of much dispute with the liberals objecting to this jingoism and some refusing to stand up. It is after all not mandatory to stand during the national anthem (its hugely controversial). This has issues with the law and the jealous jingots using force on the rationals. So before this movie – one guy was sitting down and he was obviously a foreigner. Jispa looked at me and spoke to me on that. I explained that “yup, you have a choice to stand or sit but yes, the rest of the populace will jam your happiness if you don’t. But more importantly, it is a question of collective conscience. I may not stand for the anthem but I also realize that I am in India and that this small act of sitting is disrespectful to my hosts. Yes, choose to sit that’s ok. But being insensitive about it in public is a bit of a wrong thing to do. Of course we shouldn’t be on our part too irritated about it. He should understand and we should as well. Intolerance towards people sitting is the worst.”

I don’t pray but I also respect that people believe in the stone that placed in the middle of the sanctum sanctorum and I must appreciate that. I must behave in line with the custom, if I choose to be a part of it. If not, I can exercise my choice and sit at home. Mere misguided rebelliousness if no use to society.

I think I have come a long way. When I was young, I wanted to join the army and fight for my country. Then I would stand anywhere, even alone, when the national anthem was being played. I hated local societies as local political shit shat. Today I have done a complete volte face. Now I am a non-believer in the concept of nation hood and a complete believer in local societies. The impact is greatest when local. Local societies can do much more to change their life and that of their progeny than what nation states can do. And that is granted to them by the construct of the law. Change happens in small things and in small steps. It takes the bearings of age to temper the brute of youth. Things are not what they seem and solutions are never what immediately occur to you. Multiple sides, angles and implications are required to understand the impact of anything. It takes effort and sometimes – inaction. Breathe.

well done sonny boy

Who is Sonny Bill Williams. Well. He is the Sachin Tendulkar of New Zealand. If google searches are a metric, this man ranks as the amongst the top 10 from eh country, eclipsing some real hot women stars. Its always the women stars that you need to beat, isn't it? I came across this guy today as i saw, what is to my mind the most inspirational video  that i would have ever seen.

Sonny is a New Zealand rugby player. He is adored and worshipped amongst those who follow rugby. He is also a heavyweight boxer, amongst the top 100 in the world. that would make him by most archetypes an extremely aggressive person, who you wouldn't want to mess with. Imagine Tyson playing Rugby. Now that is a crazy ass kind of personality. Sonny also at the start of his career got into all sorts of trouble - caught making out with a model, pissing in the alleys and drunk driving among other stuff. It seems something happened - a change to Islam and the guy turned. he is now clean, doesn't drink and is a role model for kids.

But that is still not inspiring to me. A lot of people turn around in life. Some thanks to a question of faith and some for some other reasons. People turn. I am not so crazy about seeing people turn. its commendable but NOT that crazy. But When a perceived archetype of a jock shows he is an athlete - that moves me like nothing else.

See the below video. Its really crazy. The New Zealand All Blacks are the most crazy rugby team in the world. feared all over they start their session with a Maori haha that gets them all worked up and puts fear in the hearts of the opposition. This team just finished a world cup campaign where they ended up as the champions. At the end of the match the players who would be at the highest level of their testosterone filled bodies are taking a lap of honour in front of a delirious crowd. A kid try to run in and meet their hero. This kid gets brutally tackled by a security officer. I think he was a bit too serious about his job, but then he is trained to react knowing how crazy and drunk a fan can get. The next thing that happens is that our champion immediately restrains the security officer from doing more harm, takes the kid and shields him in his burly hands. he hugs the kid. Other players too help in keeping the security out of the kids reach. One player pulls out his All Blacks warm cap and puts it on the kid. Thats still humanity and empathy. But what the Sonny proceeds to do next tells us a lot about his mind.

Sonny then still hugging the boy talks a little to him. I think he asks him where his folks are and then escorts him to his folks in the crowd. He doesn't need to do that. That is a human being knowing how to achieve complete closure on the empathy that you show. He knows that the kid had a rough tackle and that the security wouldn't be too cool with him, he takes the boy all the way to the crowd where he hands him over. AND THEN does something that i wouldn't even think of. He spontaneously removes his medal that he received for the world cup and hands it over to the kid. HE GIVES AWAY HIS WORLD CUP MEDAL!

I had a lot of cricket trophies on my table a few years ago. Medals, trophies and other paraphernalia. One day I decided that its stupid. The achievements were nowhere near as good. They came against stupid players with little or no skill. I hardly did anything of note against any thing of quality. So i junked every trophy I had and I junked every certificate i got. Most of them were stupid and nothing but ego feeding, navel gazing crap of no real value. What would i gain by showing off what I had (or rather little) achieved. Nothing. As you grow up the value chain as a corporate professional, you get even more crap to display on your desk. People who think they want your mindshare by simply giving you a certificate of appreciation with your name on it in the hope that you will not throw it. I have met more than one professional who takes a lot of care and effort to display the range of trophies that they have won over the years along with the certificates of meaningless value. Why would they do that? And some of these have been seriously large people in their fields with a lot of achievements that they need not prove to anyone about. So - i threw out a lot of stuff. better to not keep than to keep vanity junk.

But Sonny… Sonny gave away what everyone else will consider an heirloom. It is something that you will hang on your wall for infinity, it is something of real value, it is something that your grandkids will remember and cherish. It is a manifestation of all you have achieved. It is your proof that you were amongst the world’s best! and you just gave it away to a boy who was treated rough? Would you give away something you have worked all your life to achieve… well its not everything you have achieved but it is the physical manifestation of all you have achieved.

I have had the pleasure of working two outstanding individuals. One is Prem and the other is Rajesh. They showed me what true compassion and humility is all about. After those two - this is one thing that I am not likely to forget. This is greatness absolute greatness. A true athlete knows that while the standards of performance he sets out for are for himself, at a fundamental level, he is what he is because of the fans who love him and adore him and want him to succeed. An athlete is nothing without his fans. Respecting your fans is the greatest thing you can do. And what Sonny did was a show of humility and respect - no is above the game but no one is above the collective audience who watches the game.