You are fundamentally the choices you make. Not so much as
the choice itself but the act of choosing determines you.
When I first went to London around eight years or so ago, I entered
the toy store Hamleys. I was mesmerized by the offerings, the toys and the
whole host of sales guys playing around. It was a magical world. Of course
later Hamleys entered India and I got to take Jispa there. She had grown up a
lot since then and she was less fascinated by the toys and the experience. This
time we went to Hamleys in London, just to see the original store.
Inside the store were guys doing magic tricks and the
various different sales guys demonstrating the toys. It’s almost a pressure
sale. They show you how easy and magical a thing is then almost give it to you.
It’s impossible to say no. In one case, I let Jispa take it and then I chatted
with her and explained that this is available in Mumbai and then she realized and
put it away. It’s a difficult task to walk away from the demonstration without
the product in your hand so I let her walk away with it and then in quiet the
rational explanation starts. It just saves you and the more importantly the kid
a lot of embarrassment. And it also teaches the kid one simple rule – just because
its in your hand doesn’t mean you have to bill it :). You can always say no.
Then on one of the floors was the Harry Potter memorabilia
section. There we saw the different wands of the different wizards. Harry’s
wand and those of his friends. Of course the famous elder wand was also there. Plastic
wands at around 40 pounds each. Wow that is expensive. Jispa felt attracted to
it. She looked at me. I looked at her. She wanted one. She had a 5 pound a day
budget to do what she pleases. This was easy. It was six days savings. Jispa
was not a spendthrift in anyways so she was hardly spending her 5 pounds. I asked
her if she was sure. She nodded. And then Jasmine and me said fair – go ahead
buy your wand. She took fifteen minutes to choose her wand. She choose Harry’s
wand I think. And she was happy with her choice. After a few minutes she comes
back to us and tells us – no, she doesn’t want it. Huh? Jasmine and I told her
to take it, no worries. We can surely afford it and we even promised that it was
a gift from us. Her five pounds would remain intact. But Jispa said ‘no, I don’t
really know what to do of it. I am not going to play with it in any case’. We
tried to assure her but she was clear.
Now that’s a bit of character. A bit of growing up. I have referred
in the past to the Hero’s journey. In our life we go through many deaths and
rebirths. In our quest, in our journey of the Hero we overcome many odds and
many temptations. We overcome it to emerge stronger and tougher. Jispa had one
such moment. She probably saw the wand and was completely driven to own it. For
a brief period she owned it and once that emotion wore off rational mind set it
and she realized she was above it. She died to live again. A hero’s journey.
Londonw as special in many ways. Jispa, I realize is now an
adult. She makes her choices and in the process drives us up the wall. It is
easily the most difficult period Jasmine and I have faced so far. By far the
most difficult. She exercises judgment but not all of it is smart. She chooses
not to listen so many times. She tries to get away. In her process of growing
up, we are dying a thousand deaths and are getting born again. For a fundamentally
sweet kid she is now in the process of tearing away her cocoon and butterfly
parents are just not being able to manage it. Probably teaching 60 kids every
year and managing office colleagues, makes me possibly more … should I say ‘philosophical’ than Jasmine. I get driven up
the wall as much as Jasmine but I just bounce back faster. Jispa has been far
more tougher on Jasmine then me. But then Jispa’s journey is as much of importance
as is Jasmine. Both will die a thousand deaths and see the cycle of trials and
temptations. They will be helped along the way by mentors and talismans. It is
for them to die and be reborn to get the ultimate blessing. When they do
transform themselves and come back to the real world to spread the awareness to
others, will then reach mastery of their worlds. Possible the blog has helped
me remain sane or stable. Possibly the fact that I teach to so many forces me
to brood less over these issues. This transformation is accentuated but the
death and rebirth are something for me too.
The more times in life the cycle turns the wiser you will
get. And to be stronger t is important for you to share your stories. Here I am
sharing mine with you. Have you shared yours with anyone?
Read more of the Hero’s journey here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monomyth
