management principals from shopping with your daughter?

Jispa was listening to a song which I recognized. It was “fast car” in a version that I was not so familiar with. It sounded different… i wasn't sure if i liked it.

I asked her, is it fast car? yup it was… but happened to it. I told her its a remixed versions of the original. Ya? So today when she did not have swimming I had to drop her to the school, Jispa was pretty excited. She had made it clear at home itself that we were going to listen to songs along the way. She started with her version of Fast Car. Then I asked her to play the original by Tracy Chapman. Tracy’s version is brilliant and her voice is clear and the words play out brilliantly. Jispa and I were in unison, the original was much better than the remix. Then I asked her to play my favorite song. I used to play it earlier when she was much smaller. She vaguely remembered it. And through the song I could practically sing it word for word. It was fun, singing it in the car with Jispa. The song I sang - With or without you by U2. A classic rock song.

This was my brothers favorite song and from that it became mine :). Its nice to pass some legacy to Jispa.

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Last weekend was race weekend. The final and most important meet of the swim calendar as far as Mumbai is concerned was held this weekend. This meet decides the top swimmers of Mumbai who will represent us in the state meet. I went in expecting nothing much. Jispa has been a good swimmer, a very good swimmer, but in India, you really have to be really damn good to be amongst the medals. There are so many of us competing. The famous line is that even when you are 1 in a million then there are more than a thousand of you. As the kids grow up more and more kids give up swimming. For many reasons - studies or simply boredom! the pry maid grows narrower. Also now in her age group she needs to specialise as every kid is allowed only five individual events to compete in. Jispa did us proud. very proud. She got through events with three golds and two bronze. She added two relay Gold medals to her kitty as well. She was the best back stroker with Golds in the 50, 100 and the 200 meters. With the bronze coming in the 100 and 200 free. With this she missed the runner up trophy by a small point difference as the runner up went to the girl who did two gold and three silver. Hah! Missed by this much. But all said and done it was a brilliant performance. I had never thought that she would be this good. In one of the back stroke races, i watched it from the gallery and saw her score an easy victory. An easy victory robs you of some type of joy. So I dryly asked after the event, if she broker the record. A swim mother near by heard me and said “thats exactly what we are. First we want them to get a medal, then we want gold and now when they get gold, we ask for a record time”. We swim parents are never happy are we? I think we parents are never happy. So ashamed was I from my behavior. I had shown no joy and no real emotion on this success. After the events I made it a point to show my pleasure and pride to Jispa. I thought it was necessary to celebrate a bit of the success we had achieved. And what better way to celebrate the victory by going immediately to the store and buying Jispa her bluetooth music player.

As Jispa grows its nice shopping with her. We tend to look at stuff similarly in many ways. We have bought stuff together and had fun doing it, both online and in stores. It is a sharp contrast from the earlier days it was a pain to shop with her. Sh wouldn't know her style and we would tear our head apart trying to get her to shop. I think Jasmine still doesn't like shopping with her. Lets recount some nice experiences. One was when we bought distress jeans! Yo man, When Jispa asked me if I could buy her distressed jeans, of course I said yes. I wear distressed jeans and there is no reason why she shouldn't be able to wear it. Only difference is that I have never “bought” distressed jeans. My jeans became distressed after years of use. After they got old, they would naturally tear. I have of course perfected a technique to help them get distressed. You take a scissor and then you take the blade and scrape the jeans near where you want them to tear. The blue three wears away leaving the white three grip exposed perfectly. Jispa wanted to buy jeans and distress them in the same way. Jasmine wouldn't have any of it. think mothers are programmed to think in a single direction. So all we did is that we bought new distressed jeans, thanks to ME. Hah! I was the one who searched for the distressed jeans that were just cool enough. Another thing that I have bought for her, is that I first shortlisted a denim shirt and a white shirt. i knew what she wanted. I have got a handle on her style. I did this online and then waited for her to confirm it before ordering it. I also bought for her, her super awesome ankle length canvas Converse sneakers. The really cool ones. Its much better when dad and daughter get a common sense of style and also music.

This sounds banal enough but you have no clue how much it means to me that we are able to do stuff together. Even buying the bluetooth speakers, Jasmine was happy to just hang around as we heard the various speakers on offer. We were commenting like audiophiles on the sound quality and the boom and the clarity of vocals etc. We heard the sony, the LG and even the Bose speakers before honing in on the one we want. The Bose did sound a bit clearer. It cost three times the Sony one we liked. Jasmine was happy to go for the Bose. Then Jispa and I conferred and we decided that we will got or the Sony. Simple - if she roams around with Bose it would be too much responsibility to handle. This Sony is far less expensive to loose. That was the simple arithmetic in both our heads. The sound was not that much better in comparison to the price headache that gave it too much responsibility. Complex decisions are taken by simple considerations.

When parenting Jispa the big issues are simply trying to get a common perspective on various things. Shopping, clothes, music, style whatever. Of all JIspa has the least choice by the simple thing of her being the tiny child, but as a parent we have to realize that we will get richer not by our choices but by hers. She is the new lot, she will define our life from now on. She will be exposed to various new stimuli and trends that we have to learn from. We as adults have to use our experience to allow then into our lives. As is in parenting so is in life. The experience that you gain as an adult as you get older is worth only to tell you your potential pitfalls or to analyze the situation. it doesn't tell you what is right. It can tell you what looks to be probabilistically right, but only from your older, now fast going defunct experience. In my new job I am the oldest man on the floor. Here also I have tried to bring the same approach. You know  a lot of shit when you see it but you also don't know when you are going to be blind sided. You have to always allow yourself to see the new persecutive and bet some on it. Any new idea and and new way to do things is what you have to keep a watch for. One simple trick that I taught my self a few years ago keeps me in good stead. in any conversation where there is someone trying to tell something new and if I am not sure I buy it, I recreate the argument and open my mouth trying to praraphrase his argument taking his side. So this way it is very clear in my head that I have given it my best shot before rejecting the idea. Also I hope it gives the person on the other side a clear indication that I have given it my best shot and audibly argued the both sides before deciding on the course of action.

you will still make mistakes, not connect, build enemies and be a dud but at least this way you have given it your best shot. Many times i think I have reconsidered my original action and have decided to go with the other way. It is a big one and I wonder why this simple trick is not taught in any management classes or text book. In an argument agree with the other person to start with and then build your case  - this way you don't have an argument to start with. WAT SAY?

Firework!

Joining a start up has so far been the craziest experiences I have experienced in a long time. The energy and the pressure is real and everyday. It attacks you and forces you to push hard. It left me no time at all to do anything. Days have been long and arduous. I have been working on 12 hour days with my brain working overtime. I have had a crazy experience. This time I have been able to use all my old man experience to do everything that i wanted to do. Push sales, drive marketing, put structures, change stuff, mentor people, and …. fundamentally use all the experience that i have to push the business. no complains. But the poor blog suffers and that is something i get hurt on. After writing this for so long, I have a deep emotional attachment to this blog. besides help me pass on something to Jispa, i think this blog has fundamentally changed me, helped me think, helped me distill my thoughts and i think this bit of writing has changed me forever. It funny how just the simple task of writing regularly helps a person think. It has also helped me capture some beautiful moments in parenting Jispa.

Like this new one. Ever since Jispa grew a little bit till she decided she wanted to wear shorts and shorts and some more shorts. It took a lot of issue raking from us to get her to adopt jeans. At least a couple of jeans in her wardrobe. Its not that we are too prude but Jispa’s shorts are a little bigger than her swimming costume. Its nice that she is comfortable in them but she just cant wear them everywhere. Once in school when there was casual day, she wore her shorts and the teacher got her to borrow a skirt or something from a friend and she had to change into them. Lets say there is a movie to go to, shorts don't work as its going o be cold there. And then there are places that i don't want her to be going wearing shorts, simple. So jeans have to be there in your wardrobe.

If trousers area  big issue then dresses have been a complete no no for quite a few years now. She will not wear a dress, ever. No matter which party, which occasion or whatever the need. She had a no dress wear policy. I have tried to buy her a dress for some occasion or the other but it has largely failed. We simply gave up thinking that our kid was a tom boy. There is no way in hell that she will buy or wear a dress. Give up. Simple. Jasmine and I used joke that we wanted a girl so that we could dress her up and see her dressed up, all girlie with a dress and some earrings, clips, etc… We joked about how stupid we were and how silly our views and dreams were. Reality is so different.

But when you are the parents of a growing girl, you should be ready for almost anything. Anything can change and anything is possible. This weekend, in the sale season, we went shopping for - believe or not - dresses! Oh man WTF. I was so confused. What happened to my baby. Why would she want a dress? Jasmine explained that now in many parties and in many places the dress code is now a dress and she has to wear a dress many times, and hence the transformation. There was one party (an informal one) of a close friend where they just simply went on their own to Starbucks. we have known that family since Jispa was three years old. The mother of the birthday girl insisted that Jispa wear a dress and see gave her a dress to wear from the friends wardrobe. Needless to add - she looked pretty and everyone else loved it and commented on it. I think that was the turning point. I am not so sure if Jispa sees it that way or admits as much, but that to us was the point.

So now we went shopping for dresses. Its not easy for a swimmer to get a dress that suits her. Jispa has broad shoulders and the girls clothing are not designed for some one with a broad shoulder, muscular hands and a flat stomach. Its designed for podgy girlies. So Jispa has a little difficult time buying a dress. She needs them a little tight at the waist but a little loose at the shoulders. Her sleeveless ones work but they make her look really muscular! Wow. She is also a swimmer. She is comfortable in a swimming costume and hence she is comfortable in short dresses as well. So a little long dress is not what she likes for now.

So we shopped and shopped. One thing i remember as a child was not having enough money to go shopping for clothes. I couldn't buy what I wanted and liked. I don't want that for Jispa. Her dad has managed at least that much money that she can go shopping, at reasonable places, and definitely when a sale is on. Just one thing i remarked to Jasmine when we were shopping and had us in splits "first she wants to buy a dress and then she rejects half the designs  because they are too dressey"

So this weekend, wonder of wonders, we bought three dresses, and then i realized that how expensive my dreams of a girl could get. After we bought the dresses, we had to buy matching footwear. She cane wearing chapels on dresses. So we went and bought a black and a beige pair of shoes to match her dresses. luckily i think she can get away by wearing Jasmine’s accessories and raiding that drawer. Jasmine and Jispa keep fighting when Jispa uses Jasmine’s stuff. I am sure Jasmine wants to share he stuff with Jispa but i suspect its limited to what all she can use but in the end she must take care and put it back. Its going to be an uneasy relationship. I think i must budget for an accessory drawer for Jispa alone. Then only will peace prevail in the Doshi household.

And this video form a song that I learnt from Jispa best exemplifies whats happening in a teenagers mind. From Kate Perry’s album named (oh god) “teenage dream” is  among called Firework. It says - ‘baby you are a firework!’ . See the video and you get whats going on in a young teen’s head.

Choice to be reborn a hero

You are fundamentally the choices you make. Not so much as the choice itself but the act of choosing determines you.

When I first went to London around eight years or so ago, I entered the toy store Hamleys. I was mesmerized by the offerings, the toys and the whole host of sales guys playing around. It was a magical world. Of course later Hamleys entered India and I got to take Jispa there. She had grown up a lot since then and she was less fascinated by the toys and the experience. This time we went to Hamleys in London, just to see the original store.

Inside the store were guys doing magic tricks and the various different sales guys demonstrating the toys. It’s almost a pressure sale. They show you how easy and magical a thing is then almost give it to you. It’s impossible to say no. In one case, I let Jispa take it and then I chatted with her and explained that this is available in Mumbai and then she realized and put it away. It’s a difficult task to walk away from the demonstration without the product in your hand so I let her walk away with it and then in quiet the rational explanation starts. It just saves you and the more importantly the kid a lot of embarrassment. And it also teaches the kid one simple rule – just because its in your hand doesn’t mean you have to bill it :). You can always say no.

Then on one of the floors was the Harry Potter memorabilia section. There we saw the different wands of the different wizards. Harry’s wand and those of his friends. Of course the famous elder wand was also there. Plastic wands at around 40 pounds each. Wow that is expensive. Jispa felt attracted to it. She looked at me. I looked at her. She wanted one. She had a 5 pound a day budget to do what she pleases. This was easy. It was six days savings. Jispa was not a spendthrift in anyways so she was hardly spending her 5 pounds. I asked her if she was sure. She nodded. And then Jasmine and me said fair – go ahead buy your wand. She took fifteen minutes to choose her wand. She choose Harry’s wand I think. And she was happy with her choice. After a few minutes she comes back to us and tells us – no, she doesn’t want it. Huh? Jasmine and I told her to take it, no worries. We can surely afford it and we even promised that it was a gift from us. Her five pounds would remain intact. But Jispa said ‘no, I don’t really know what to do of it. I am not going to play with it in any case’. We tried to assure her but she was clear.

Now that’s a bit of character. A bit of growing up. I have referred in the past to the Hero’s journey. In our life we go through many deaths and rebirths. In our quest, in our journey of the Hero we overcome many odds and many temptations. We overcome it to emerge stronger and tougher. Jispa had one such moment. She probably saw the wand and was completely driven to own it. For a brief period she owned it and once that emotion wore off rational mind set it and she realized she was above it. She died to live again. A hero’s journey.

Londonw as special in many ways. Jispa, I realize is now an adult. She makes her choices and in the process drives us up the wall. It is easily the most difficult period Jasmine and I have faced so far. By far the most difficult. She exercises judgment but not all of it is smart. She chooses not to listen so many times. She tries to get away. In her process of growing up, we are dying a thousand deaths and are getting born again. For a fundamentally sweet kid she is now in the process of tearing away her cocoon and butterfly parents are just not being able to manage it. Probably teaching 60 kids every year and managing office colleagues, makes me possibly more … should I say  ‘philosophical’ than Jasmine. I get driven up the wall as much as Jasmine but I just bounce back faster. Jispa has been far more tougher on Jasmine then me. But then Jispa’s journey is as much of importance as is Jasmine. Both will die a thousand deaths and see the cycle of trials and temptations. They will be helped along the way by mentors and talismans. It is for them to die and be reborn to get the ultimate blessing. When they do transform themselves and come back to the real world to spread the awareness to others, will then reach mastery of their worlds. Possible the blog has helped me remain sane or stable. Possibly the fact that I teach to so many forces me to brood less over these issues. This transformation is accentuated but the death and rebirth are something for me too.

The more times in life the cycle turns the wiser you will get. And to be stronger t is important for you to share your stories. Here I am sharing mine with you. Have you shared yours with anyone?

Read more of the Hero’s journey here  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monomyth

Shopping requires growing up

It can get frustrating shopping with Jispa. Not that I really blame her. It’s just that as parents we need to grow up. Jispa is nine years old and like a good nine year old she has an opinion. Whatever the reason, whatever the thought process in her mind… how can I fault her for having an opinion? She just can refuse to wear something out of the blue. So we always get her to choose her clothes. These days I have been trying to get her to buy a dress. Too much jeans makes a tom boy. She has very clear stuff that she would like to wear. Rule one – no sleeveless. I don’t know why… she never gives a reason except – just! And most of the pretty dresses are just that – sleeveless. So this time I really picked her brain and told her to explain to me why she doesn’t want a dress. I finally cornered her. She was not clearing her preference because if she explained to us what she wanted and Jasmine got something basis that then she would have to wear it, whether she liked it or not. So she and I got into a pact. I would only buy what she liked and she would not be pressured into buying anything. In return she will shop with me for a dress. I finally understood what she wanted.
She wanted a simple solid color dress. No frills, no stupid embroidery, no extra flowers or motifs, not too much flair. Basically a women’s dress and not some baby Barbie pink floral dress. I like that. That’s my girl. It’s a different thing that we never did get anything to that specification.
But I think I figured a little bit more about her. She does not immediately explain her mind. She thinks a lot. Many times I tell Jasmine that don’t take her answers or behavior at face value. There is a lot she doesn’t tell and her mind ticks faster than anything else Jasmine has ever experienced. Be aware of her insecurities; be aware that she thinks a lot. She thinks about what you might think basis the answer she gives. She is two steps ahead of you. Not in a shrewd selfish way, but in an acute perceptive way. How do I know all this? Simple – I remember my childhood.
Now I think I might have got her shopping pulse - How am I to get shopping with her without my brains being fried? This time we went shopping for an Indian dress at fabindia. A Salwar kurta. I led her to the place. Showed her the designs and we quickly agreed to a piece to which I quickly agreed. She is an action lady not a dainty girl with a Barbie purse. Jasmine keeps blaming me for making a tom boy of her. What I realized one day, is that possibly Jasmine is the one influencing her dress sense. Jasmine never wears a dress. On a daily basis she is a sloppy dresser, being in a track and t shirt through the day. What role model does she have at home. No lipstick, no make up, pants and t-shirts. Further proof – Jispa loves chapsticks and guess what – jasmine applies chapstick. Jasmine will definitely point at me for a lot of things, but I guess here – she underestimates her role as a role model as well. It’s impossible that I am the root cause of all evil :).
So Jispa found her single color salwar kurta and tried it out for me. Man, has she grown up, she looked nice and cute and grown up. I am finally coming to terms with her growing up. It’s difficult but I have no choice. It’s a funny uneasy balance. I push her to grow up and behave on so many things, and then she keeps reminding and fighting for us to recognize that she is grown up. Whoops. This is one tug-o-war.
Here is she… trying one for size. She finally picked this one. I really like this photo. I really love her. Gosh.

deep desires

Yesterday I lived one more childhood ambition. Slowly slowly I have been fulfilling some of my childhood dreams. One by one. Not that they have driven me to perform or do something but they seem to be giving me quite satisfaction one by one. Very small things to large things. Like once it was owning a car, or a house or some land in the woods or nice sandals or decent low fork denims etc. So it’s not about money or anything, it’s more about what I might have eyed as a kid or hoped to enjoy while growing up.
One of the things that I had eyed and slowly inched towards getting there is sunglasses. I always wanted nice light sunglasses. First when I started working I tried buying sunglasses of the road. These were for around 200 bucks. They weren’t that great and they probably did my eyes more harm than good. After that I have bought some more glasses and have always stayed at the lower end of the spectrum. At best a fast track one at around a grand or so. But I always felt the need for a good sporty one.
Some time back my wife was shopping for one and I got her to buy a nice Ray bans. At the time I thought they were shit expensive and wow that was a kind of birthday gift for her. Her raved about it for a long time. She loved them. Slowly I came about to eth notion that you really need to pay top dollar to get good glares and the ones I was buying weren’t really good enough. So she convinced me to buy a pair of Ray bans. This was I think about a year ago. Sure enough at 5k it made me think and think and think. But with a bit of prodding from wife I managed to buy them. I genuinely have a problem spending money. Especially for what I perceive as simple brand value (read tag value). What’s so good that I must pay top dollar. Its just a marketing gimmick. That’s partly the reason why I bought my first full price denim from a non sale from a reputed brand a month back. It was a Wrangler. Otherwise I saw no point in them. Especially since I always got mine custom stitched at a hideaway tailor I know. And at 25% of the branded price. I guess I am and always will remain a bit cheap.
So coming back to the ray bans. Yup they got me my first decent glares but they did not fulfil my deep desire to have nice light weight sporty and cool glares. Also they showed me the fun of wearing nice glares. I really love the clarity that my Raybans give me. I am totally in love with the brand. But there is one issue. With a metal frame and glass lens they are a bit heavy and I feel the weight on my nose. So I have been contemplating fulfilling my desire of buying a light weight sporty “expensive” glares.
Yesterday we walked into our trusted neighbourhood store and saw the range on offer. Here you are my latest acquisition – the hep new and happening glares. They are perfect for me. Nice and light and pretty cool on the tech side as well. It’s funny that I did not realise that I was fulfilling my childhood desire of owning one like these until I actually ended up owning them. I like such stuff. they don’t give you stress as you forget that you actually desired them, but when you do get them you realise that a small tick mark is made against your bucket list, as it were. Hah!According to me they cost a bomb at 7K, and I sure hope that I can find enough reason to justify them. The rationale being that they are better than Oakleys but cheaper and more durable? If you need to read more about them and help me justify the same here is the link

budget blues

Today is the day for the annual finance jamboree. The day the finance minister of India announces his budget. Me and budget go back a long way. All self respecting gujjus would follow the budget. My first memories of the budget was following it on DD news where the highlights would be telecast. I remember the then finance minister VP Singh under the Rajiv Gandhi government talking about lowering taxes. That created quite a flutter and I remember asking my dad what the hullabaloo was all about. What on earth was a budget? I remember dad explaining me its significance. Since it was VP Singh I remember, a quick Google search dates that to around 1984 to 87. Indoctrination at age around 12 is good gujju legacy. Of course post that the budget and of course the finance minister got rock star status, thanks to Manmohan Singh. The live telecasts and people huddling around to watch what on earth was going to be presented. If I am not mistaken it used to be presented in the evenings (an old Raj legacy) and the stock market would have special sessions timed to coincide with the budget. Over the years it has become lesser and lesser of an event with few surprises and a whole host of policy decisions being taken outside of it.
Also one another thing I remember was that in the good old days, prices would always rise after the budget. I think it was obligatory for the FM to raise taxes on soaps and shampoos and other such stuff. There used to be a huge round of pre budget buying by people in an effort to beat the budget blues. We never did really indulge in it. Till I remember one day mom and dad coming in with a whole host of goodies from Shakari Bhandhar. They had gone shopping and dad used the budget ruse to buy stuff just before the budget was announced. That year Manmohan Singh did a complete U turn and started dropping taxes introducing a more benign taxation scheme, thwarting all efforts of my Dad at beating the blue. Hehehe.

simple truths

Not that there has been a conscious need or occasion but till now Jispa has never gone alone in the lift. Whenever she goes down it has been with us. So today in the morning while Jispa was wearing her socks, I had to go down early for transferring some stuff from the boot of the car. So I told jasmine that I would down and she could send Jispa in the lift alone. First Jispa was a little circumspect but the urge to be independent triggered a mixed reaction. In the end independence won. I went down and then from top Jasmine indicated that Jispa is coming down on her own. I went near the lobby to find her coming out of the lift with a big grin on her face. She told me that she wanted to do this everyday. Sure! Its not that I don’t trust her, it’s the lift that I don’t trust. This lift is not a 100% safety record lift. We’ll see. It will be some time for us parents to grow up and relax.

Taking another shot at ‘the white tiger’, I think the publishers have not read the book completely. Adiga (on page 228), takes a barb at the business books when the protagonist says “I am aware that it is a common feature of those cellophane-wrapped business books to feature small side-bars”. Cellophane wrapped business books?? He says. Little did Adiga realize that his book would also be sold in cellophane wrapping. It is such an irritating practice. They are forcing the reader to buy on reputation and not on actual content. A book lover loves to feel the book in his hand, be for a minute with it. He shuts out the world as he feels the cover, turns over to the back. At this point he takes a decision whether to explore it further, read inside, see the chapters and then purchase it. A book lover passes over the temptation to buy it at one third the price at the pirate stall to buy a proper royalty paid edition. It is thanks to this breed that the piracy in books has not reached the proportions of piracy in music. The core target book lover is just not a cheat. But cellophane wrapping is cheating him. Every time the big brother tries to hoodwink the customer, disregards his love, habits & values…the consumer will come back with a vengeance and the big brother will not know what hit him. The music industry is suffering from their own high handedness and the need to drive the premium unnaturally high. It’s pretty stupid.
I am sure in the case of The white tiger, there are many people who believe (likeme) that a booker prize winner would be too deep, profound and would use English that no one understood. With all these shrink wrapped books on the shelves; I never had the chance to dispel my belief leading me to not buy the book. Only after it was gifted to me did I realize that it’s actually quite a decent book with simple English, highly understandable. This exactly what I was telling V-inu. It’s quite a nice simple English book. Probably Harry Potter has higher English usage. I am three fourth of the way to finish the book. so far so good. I must read one decent fiction every year.

shopping withJispa

Walking into malls is injurious to your wallet, especially when you are feeling rich. Jasmine and I are felling a little rich these days I guess, guessing from the battered state of my wallet! Yesterday we were at Centre one mall attending a birthday party of one of Jispa’s frinds. We decided to stay on post the party. There goes the budget… right into the well or should I say right into the deep well like atrium that most malls have. We bought an arrow shirt for me. The cheapskate that I am, I only buy if the dam thing is on discount or in seconds. The piece I bought is an atypical printed shirt. I have been trying to ruffle a few feathers in office and prove that marketing is different and has a whack on the right side of the head. This is in continuance to the printed gujju type shirt I wore the last Friday. Karo… lets see where the twig breaks. We then went to do some more shopping. While Jasmine was browsing through her stuff in the sale, Jispa and me were at the toy section. I too have not gotten over my boy toy fixation. I can spend hours in a toy store. Jispa is normally never hyper ina toy store. No faltu zid that I want to buy this or that toy. She is a balanced kid in a toy shop. Also she like the baby toys that do something on pressing some buttons. Then at the Barbie section, she sat down and was intently staring at the Barbie house sets. I let her be and was looking at the other sections. I came back to see her still there, just sitting and dreaming looking at the set. She must have been in that place for atleast 10-15 minutes. Till of course she wanted to do potty urgently. MOMMY – come fast. Post her detour, she comes back to stare at the set. Finally she tells me that she wants to buy the set. I look at the back. 699 bucks huh? Not so bad, I can definitely afford it, but should I buy it for her. I show her the other sets, but she is intent on buying that one set. I look at Jasmine, Jasmine looks at me. It’s definitely not the question of cost. We were both wondering on the same thing. What to do when she asks to buy a particular thing. Saying yes would mean saying that we will buy what you want and that could snowball into some hugely bad stubborn habit. Giving due credit to her, she has so far not been that kind of a kid. She normally understands when we don’t buy what she suggests. But this time she really liked what she saw and she wanted it bad. Well what the hell, go buy it, but we will not buy what you want every time. Yes, yes, mummy, it ok… thank you…hmmmm. So much thought into parenting. I have no clue how much is really important of not. But we can only do the best from what we understand at that given point of time.