The Big Splash

Last Saturday was a blast. For Jispa’s birthday I had organized a pool party and made the kids play games in the pool. Post this some parents wanted to play again, so we had one more game-day. Seeing the game day and the fun that we were having the Gymkhana committee wanted me to organize one game day for the gymkhana as an open fun event. Sure. My logic is simple. I want my child to have fun and my friend’s children to have fun as well. Everything else is a bonus. Well it’s not that hard core but yes, organizing games for the greater public is always fraught with danger. People not behainving the way you want them to, people suddenly leaving, suddenly fighting, my child this, my child that… known people are easier to control than unknowns. Or possibly the reverse is the truth. Sometimes mothers are really tricky.

I see it all the time. the mothers are really agitated at the sports meet. They are the ones pushing their child to do better. Possibly they are living their aggression through their children. At Jispa’s birthday and the other party it was the mothers who really I had to stop from fighting and cheating and trying too hard. STOP IT gals. Fathers possibly get their dose of aggression at the office place and this is the time for them to unwind and not show their agression. Whatever… the mothers are the worst to handle.

This time around there were hardly any mothers registered for the meet. The mothers possibly were shy of roaming around in a swimming costume whole day. A few fathers registered and a few semi adults… kids aged older than 18. I branded it splash day, ensured that the tone was fun and whole sale fun. Made the kids dive in, splash around and played some ridiculous invented games. The kids needed to learn to relax and play the game with the fun association as opposed to the competition association. Luckily the mothers stayed at bay. The kids did what they wanted to and to my relief it was a huge hit.

We started at 3 and went on till 7. Splashing around. Mikes went kaput, games had to be modified. Some kids were really bad swimmers. But overall… good fun. I kept asking the kids and they kept saying yes, it was fun. Some kid even said, it was the best day of their life! Wow, that was a big compliment.

Of course organizing this event was back to college days in terms of partnering with Jasmine. That is the best part of the entire event. When Jasmine and I take up any project together, it’s always been a great experience. We complement each other’s skill sets very well. I will do up all the mike handling, crowd handling, big vision, thinking over all; and she will get the process in place, man the tables, ensure things move in the back ground, food is served etc. I become the style and she becomes the substance. We think together and plan together and execute together. It works well. We don’t get too many opportunities to do that these days but these small ones are worth their weight in gold.

So we did get a lot of appreciation but the greatest moment was at the end, when the kids started pushing me into the pool. I handed over the mike and jumped right in and I was surrounded by kids jumping all over me.

That a nice pic I say.

Of course it all finally comes together thanks to a team. When I was younger I would want to change the world all alone. Push the bar, be in all places, walk, run and pull the entire event on my own. Over the years I have learnt that it’s not possible, or even if possible, the strain is too much. So I have been learning to delegate and then manage. People will rise to their level of competence. And people who want to work will see work and not raise hands but will move their entire body there and start working. That simple. I got a few volunteers from the mothers, essentially our friends. And I got a few fathers are well. Predictably some worked harder. The trick is to let them do it the way they want to. Normally I would have briefed and rebriefed. But I realize that this is just a gymkhana event. People are here as volunteers not paid jobs. They will do what they want and they do because they enjoy doing it not because they ‘have’ to do it. I let them handle the situation and they did so admirably well.

it’s a team game. Kids love to see everyone involved. We had around 90 participants at the Splash Day. What a day. At the end, the kids enjoyed and that the main thing. Someone told me that the gymkhana must be more appreciative of me for doing this for them. To which I say, our kids enjoyed, right? Then it was worth all the effort.

For me parenting at its core is doing stuff that I thought I wanted my parents to do with me. I wanted them to play with me. I wanted them to enjoy games with me. At the end I asked many kids, they all enjoyed it… and then I asked Jispa “so how was it?”. She said “ok ok”. “so what… you didn’t enjoy the day”. “it was nice” she answered, “but there were too many people”. Oh yes there were. But I think Jispa is used to having fun with her dad. Going out and playing. Swimming pool games. Good fun things. He excitement level is possibly set up pretty high. Well it is my doing I guess. So at the end of it – the final verdict that counts was – ok ok. Awwww…..

But then the photos came in and I saw the kids very very happy. So I am back… we will raise the bar next year. We have a lot to learn. Here catch a few moments…

at the start - forming the teams. i wanted them to come with their own teams... but the committe over ruled. hell... it was still fun

The kids at the games - some kids couldnt do much. The life gaurds just dint dive in to help out teh stugglising kids. I think its a socio economic issue. they would only get in possibly if someone was drowning or something. not sturggling. No problem. I dived right in. the kid clung onto me and it was a great feeling. Hugging / reassuring the kid, its ok...

SMILEY faces....

More smiley faces

My favorite kid. This was atough race. One kid sits pretty while the team pushing them to the close. I had "saved" him in a previous event. He was tiny.. I promised him the next event, he will be the most important part of the team. Being light has its advantages.

 Sometimes instructions have to be given from the pool itself.

 More fun...

used to being a dad

Activity wise things couldn’t have been better. The cricket season has started. The last season saw me so out of form I refused to pick up the bat anymore. I wanted to go and hide. I even dropped myself and didn’t play the last few games. I couldn’t justify my place in the team. Yesterday was the first nets of the season. I went along but I did not want to bat. When satish, who is the captain of the A team asked to pad up, I said yes but I was pretty apprehensive. The first ball I played hit the middle of the bat and sounded good. There, that’s not so bad is that? My feet were moving my head was ok, and the arms were coming in nice. A few balls lifted higher than I wanted them to. The next few were driven and I was on a roll. A few cuts, drives and straight hits behind the bowler. Nice. On Dushhera, I burnt the Raavan inside of me. I could bat again!
Speaking of which, I fulfilled another childhood dream. I always loved seeing the burning Raavan. There is something interesting about seeing a Raavan burn away. Especially the one you have built yourself. Last year too we built a Raavan to be burnt. But that was a ready kit with a printed head and cut outs. See here http://jaimit.blogspot.com/2010/10/burn-negatives-from-your-heart.html
This time around I asked Jasmine if she was keen to build a Raavan to burn. Jasmine has always been an art and craft person. She would be the one to put it all together. The one with all the implements and the vision to create something. A lot like her dad. These days though motherhood seems to have gotten the better of her and she doesn’t use her craft skills as much. I always remember when she and I had to do something; we would always team up and do very well. We had a lot of complimentary skill sets. She would be able to translate my dream into possibilities. Then I would be able to put some structure around it and then we would do it together. Of all the fights we have had, I can’t recall a single fight, disagreement or anything of the sort when we are working together on a project. We would talk to each other and explain our theories, listen and get moving. So I was pretty excited when she said yes. I don’t need anything more.
I asked her if we could invite friends and she said only if I coordinate. I called up the moms and two out of four agreed to come. So yesterday we met at the garden behind our house and started building the Raavan at around 4. Two and a half hours later – it was ready. The parents loved it, the kids loved it. We really had no plan how we were going to make the Raavan. We decided to get as many craft materials we could get our hands on, get old newspapers and then we were to build form there. The previous day I got some five strips of plywood, thinking we would figure from there.
Jasmine came up with the idea of building a structure like a Red Indian teepee with three wooden strips. Then we set about building the Raavan. Awesome fun. The mothers had coordinated to ensure that sandwiches and juice was always around. So was fevicol, wrapping paper, cardboard and other paraphernalia.
Here is the photo of the work in progress. I will upload more as soon Jasmine is able to download and mail them form her camera. It was pretty cool thing.

Jispa loved the process and the other kids also enjoyed it. It’s a good thing spending time doing things with your kids. The friends loved it as well and thanked us. I always maintained that more than kids playing by themselves they love doing things with their parents. Sure they want time on their own but more importantly they want to have fun doing things that they too can contribute equally with their parents. Out of the four sets of kids that were there, the two sets that had both parents working worked harder and enjoyed working on the ‘craft project’. I don’t think its mere coincidence. I think it’s another case of monkey see monkey do. They have their heroes very clear in their heads. That’s whom they like to emulate.
The Raavan was complete. Snacks followed and then we were ready to burn the fella. Such small pleasures in life. Jispa enjoyed the day and was saying ‘I am little sad to see this one burn’ :)
We burst a few crackers, lots of sparklers and wound for the day. As usual, when I am home in time to see her sleep I have to get into her bed and lie down alongside till she sleeps. This makes her sleep much faster. These days I normally get sleep alongside her before she does. Then I wake up and get into my bed. Yesterday after I went into my bed, she came by and said, she still isn’t getting sleep. Jasmine told her to sleep alongside me and that she would put her in her bad later in the night. I was completely tired but I love my teddy bear next to me. I too sleep much better holding a teddy I guess. So as she came in and lied down next to me, I told her “Now I too get sleep only if you are lying down next to me “. She replied “Dad, I think you have now become too used to being a Dad”