The Big Splash

Last Saturday was a blast. For Jispa’s birthday I had organized a pool party and made the kids play games in the pool. Post this some parents wanted to play again, so we had one more game-day. Seeing the game day and the fun that we were having the Gymkhana committee wanted me to organize one game day for the gymkhana as an open fun event. Sure. My logic is simple. I want my child to have fun and my friend’s children to have fun as well. Everything else is a bonus. Well it’s not that hard core but yes, organizing games for the greater public is always fraught with danger. People not behainving the way you want them to, people suddenly leaving, suddenly fighting, my child this, my child that… known people are easier to control than unknowns. Or possibly the reverse is the truth. Sometimes mothers are really tricky.

I see it all the time. the mothers are really agitated at the sports meet. They are the ones pushing their child to do better. Possibly they are living their aggression through their children. At Jispa’s birthday and the other party it was the mothers who really I had to stop from fighting and cheating and trying too hard. STOP IT gals. Fathers possibly get their dose of aggression at the office place and this is the time for them to unwind and not show their agression. Whatever… the mothers are the worst to handle.

This time around there were hardly any mothers registered for the meet. The mothers possibly were shy of roaming around in a swimming costume whole day. A few fathers registered and a few semi adults… kids aged older than 18. I branded it splash day, ensured that the tone was fun and whole sale fun. Made the kids dive in, splash around and played some ridiculous invented games. The kids needed to learn to relax and play the game with the fun association as opposed to the competition association. Luckily the mothers stayed at bay. The kids did what they wanted to and to my relief it was a huge hit.

We started at 3 and went on till 7. Splashing around. Mikes went kaput, games had to be modified. Some kids were really bad swimmers. But overall… good fun. I kept asking the kids and they kept saying yes, it was fun. Some kid even said, it was the best day of their life! Wow, that was a big compliment.

Of course organizing this event was back to college days in terms of partnering with Jasmine. That is the best part of the entire event. When Jasmine and I take up any project together, it’s always been a great experience. We complement each other’s skill sets very well. I will do up all the mike handling, crowd handling, big vision, thinking over all; and she will get the process in place, man the tables, ensure things move in the back ground, food is served etc. I become the style and she becomes the substance. We think together and plan together and execute together. It works well. We don’t get too many opportunities to do that these days but these small ones are worth their weight in gold.

So we did get a lot of appreciation but the greatest moment was at the end, when the kids started pushing me into the pool. I handed over the mike and jumped right in and I was surrounded by kids jumping all over me.

That a nice pic I say.

Of course it all finally comes together thanks to a team. When I was younger I would want to change the world all alone. Push the bar, be in all places, walk, run and pull the entire event on my own. Over the years I have learnt that it’s not possible, or even if possible, the strain is too much. So I have been learning to delegate and then manage. People will rise to their level of competence. And people who want to work will see work and not raise hands but will move their entire body there and start working. That simple. I got a few volunteers from the mothers, essentially our friends. And I got a few fathers are well. Predictably some worked harder. The trick is to let them do it the way they want to. Normally I would have briefed and rebriefed. But I realize that this is just a gymkhana event. People are here as volunteers not paid jobs. They will do what they want and they do because they enjoy doing it not because they ‘have’ to do it. I let them handle the situation and they did so admirably well.

it’s a team game. Kids love to see everyone involved. We had around 90 participants at the Splash Day. What a day. At the end, the kids enjoyed and that the main thing. Someone told me that the gymkhana must be more appreciative of me for doing this for them. To which I say, our kids enjoyed, right? Then it was worth all the effort.

For me parenting at its core is doing stuff that I thought I wanted my parents to do with me. I wanted them to play with me. I wanted them to enjoy games with me. At the end I asked many kids, they all enjoyed it… and then I asked Jispa “so how was it?”. She said “ok ok”. “so what… you didn’t enjoy the day”. “it was nice” she answered, “but there were too many people”. Oh yes there were. But I think Jispa is used to having fun with her dad. Going out and playing. Swimming pool games. Good fun things. He excitement level is possibly set up pretty high. Well it is my doing I guess. So at the end of it – the final verdict that counts was – ok ok. Awwww…..

But then the photos came in and I saw the kids very very happy. So I am back… we will raise the bar next year. We have a lot to learn. Here catch a few moments…

at the start - forming the teams. i wanted them to come with their own teams... but the committe over ruled. hell... it was still fun

The kids at the games - some kids couldnt do much. The life gaurds just dint dive in to help out teh stugglising kids. I think its a socio economic issue. they would only get in possibly if someone was drowning or something. not sturggling. No problem. I dived right in. the kid clung onto me and it was a great feeling. Hugging / reassuring the kid, its ok...

SMILEY faces....

More smiley faces

My favorite kid. This was atough race. One kid sits pretty while the team pushing them to the close. I had "saved" him in a previous event. He was tiny.. I promised him the next event, he will be the most important part of the team. Being light has its advantages.

 Sometimes instructions have to be given from the pool itself.

 More fun...

performance matters?

Sitting in my office the best thing is that the TV is here. My entire team is here sitting and watching the match. The match in question is the world cup semi final between India and Pakistan. I know as of now anyone reading the blog would wonder what’s the point of the stating the obvious but just to remind you , I write this blog so that it is possibly read 20 years hence. So this is the most important match of the last four and the next four years and obviously that would do a great deal of damage for the productivity of the day. I can imagine the frustration of the top bosses. We are a brokerage house that is largely a daily turnover game. One day less of trading and that would mean consequently one day less brokerage, and if we assume around 200 days of trading, we are looking at 0.5% less for the year. But what to do. As Rajesh, my one time boss/ mentor said, ‘I am very clear. Love for country over love for company’. Haha. It is difficult to concentrate and has been so during the day. The match has been on everyone’s mind. To concentrate a change was warranted and I sat in one of the empty cubicles of my office, along with my team. Now I wonder why I don’t do that more often. The cubes have so much more buzz, somehow there is the energy that gets work done. The cabin has been very silent and boring otherwise. I think I must go off more often and sit there. It’s definitely much more fun. All these years ... you pine for one and then once you get one, you get pleasure in sitting where you would have if you were a trainee. This is the story of life, I guess. So here we are watching the first half of the match. The TVs in the lobby still play CNBC but my TV is firmly on cricket. So what we lose on productivity we gain dramatically on team work. No matter what, sitting and watching a crunch match together does get all the adrenaline flowing. And when we get them all flowing all together, teams get built. You get enough joys and sorrow to share with all. So I guess it’s an even steven, you might gain more in bonding than what you lose in productivity. But thats a difficult to take. The higher you go the tougher the call gets.. well.. But then let’s talk about something different all together. This Sunday I raced Jispa in a swimming competition. First on was a 25 meter dash. I beat her by possibly 1/3 rd of a second. I had to push myself, cup and stretch my hand, and flap my legs like crazy. Then we got a 50 meter dash done. Here too I had to push myself like crazy and the result was a tie according to Jasmine. Wow. I couldn’t beat my own 8 year old. I thought that was really really fast. I might not be superbly fast but I know my crazy sprint will be fast. And I was out of breath for some time afterwards. Surely a 75 meter race I would have ... poof... I would have overheated and magically disappeared. I have said it many times in the past and I say it again. Nothing beats getting a good coach to teach you a sport... any sport, early enough in your life. There will one game that will give you a perspective on an alternative life, an alternate discipline. I am so happy that Jasmine and me have managed to give her this. This is an education that will hold her in good stead. Well done Jispa and thanks jasmine. Jasmine takes a whole lot of credit. Sometimes I wonder she suddenly grows a pair of horns and gets all aggressive, telling Jispa to do well, push harder. And I am looking at her and trying to calm her down. Relax. Its ok. hehe.

culture vulture

A squash racquet. A ha…swish it round like the Excalibur! Nice and light. 120 titanium nano from Head. Feels good to buy expensive sports gear. At three and a half k, it’s probably the most expensive gear I have bought. And wonder of wonder it improved my game a lot. Especially the weaker back hand. Nice… good fun.
There is only one squash court at the gymkhana resulting in a bit of waiting every time. Also thanks to this and the coach, the court has a great play ethic. You have to play in line and with whoever is next. This would mean that even beginners play with pros. Sure, an absolute beginner is normally taught to by the coach but soon enough he starts playing on his own. The pros too recognize this and play a low enough level to ensure a game for the rookie. Sometimes the pros get compensated by getting an extra game with someone of his caliber. If you want to play only the pros then you better wait long enough, thus snubbing out all such intent. But largely the ethic remains strong and inclusive, thus allowing for a positive atmosphere. Typically otherwise closed cults are formed and people get anal retentive, close ranks refusing to let outsiders play, creating a hold on resources. I have heard of the badminton guys doing this in the morning. This same stuff used to happen even in galli cricket games. Some teams always wanted to get in new players and used to ask new kids on the block to join them, while the others simply refused to allow others a way in. I have learnt to be inclusive. Culture is a squeeze. Be it in gymkhanas, sports teams, clubs, families or corporates. Strong cultures create pressures that those who conform to, love and those who don’t are ejected. You either fit in and mould yourself to it or, phachak… you get ejected a la soap in a shower. I guess it’s the reason for stickiness and turn over. Understanding a culture is important but creating a powerful culture is also important. Within a set culture you can form your own subset. You have to take pains to create it, eject malignant spoilers and constantly watch it. It is important for the culture to be protected. You create the culture and the culture will take care of the people in the network. If you don’t keep a tight tab on it, it will come to bite you in the bum. I will never allow for infighting and will not tolerate name calling / back biting within the team. It’s a reason why the team can remain apolitical and perform under stress. Honesty in dealings and removal of all pettiness is so dam important as well. This is something that works across all groups. Just because the overall environment might be vile does not allow you the liberty o create a virulent atmosphere yourself amongst your team. Don’t spread the virus, stop it right away.