daddy do rock and roll

Jasmine’s family took a jamboree to a religious place and surely they had invited us. Which isn’t a great proposition. Taking an avowed atheist of sorts for a religious jaunt is just what the doctor (did not) ordered. Luckily for me while Jasmine couldn’t wiggle out of it – I could. Thanks to Jispa. Jispa had her interschool competition towards which Jispa had to back out and therefore I was going to stay at home babysitting. But as luck would have it, Jispa has a sports shoulder injury and it’s ruled her out of competitions. Jasmine still wanting to give Jispa rest gave Jispa and me the opportunity to stay at home.

Many years ago when we were staying in Dubai, once Mom had to leave for Mumbai urgently leaving us in the good custody of our dad. We had just received the news that our granny had contracted cancer and she would not have too long to live. Mom had to rush back and we honestly had no clue. For us it was a party of sorts with no mom. To make alternate arrangements I remember dad got a cook form the site he was working. Mom left and the cook was fired in a day. I think mom was away for a week or something. WE hated the cook’s food and dad then obliged us. I don’t know how we managed to survive the rest of the time but I surely remember having strawberries and cream every day after dinner. We got along just fine and much to our mom’s chagrin we enjoyed the sojourn and put on weight. I remember her castigating dad for firing the cook. Hah. Bolting the stables after the horses have fled.

So I am just now fresh from a two and a half day with Jispa. I was determined to spend as much time as I could with her. We wanted to take on joint decisions and figure out what all we could do in the time. Jasmine being the mother tried to figure out as much as possible for us. What we will cook, what we will eat. I had to be honest in hearing her out and keeping a mental note. But in the back of my head I knew – I am not planning too much. This is a rare time that Jispa and I will get and it’s going to be a lot of joint decision making on our part.

So on the Friday evening when our friends called us over I politely told then that I better check with Jispa before I confirm. Jispa was also pretty keen on this bonding shonding thing. She also wanted to go home and catch a movie. So we rented a couple of movies and went straight home. Jasmine had prepared dinner before we left. She also thoughtfully stocked up the fridge with some yogurt, Orangina and she also made some popcorn.

First day gone. Next day Breakfast. This is where I come into my own. I love making breakfast more than anything else. Jispa and I woke up to make a really nice breakfast. We made a double decker sandwich. We invested the thing as we went along. We first shallow fired some onions in butter and then added some sugar while they were cooking. Voila – you have sweet caramelized onions which formed the top layer along with the paneer suitably shallow fried in butter. We also put the salsa sauce just to make it more exciting – but I think could have been easily avoided. To form the second base layer was tricky. I wanted cucumber and pesto sauce. That was an easy mix but now where would the cheese go. WE didn’t want to remove the griller as cleaning that would be a big ask. So in a fit of sheer genius – we added the cheese to eth cooking pot of pesto cucumber – and so now you have melted cheese as well. We simply got the toast ready and there – sandwiches ready. We named it the Madagascar sandwich, in honor of King Julian!

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Then I left Jispa for a part and went to take my lecture. I came back to pick her – saw another movie and starting preparing dinner. This one could have been wrong on epic proportions. I wanted to make a stew like my mom used to make. So I tried to rmemeber how Jasmine had once taught me to make white sauce. Butter to be heated and then add the flour. Ok… now it’s nice na dbrown, lets add the milk and oops… this is going out of hand. Jispa - more milk fast. It’s too thick…. More milk. Oh shit this carton is empty, open another one… lets go. Ok. Now add the chopped salad… I think it’s good. Then Jispa wonders if the quatity is a bit too much. err… ya… we then pour it in a baking bowl and then grate enough cheese and decorate it. We loved decorating it together. La la la li li li… it looks great. And yes it tasted great as well. We couldn’t find the garlic in the house so it only lacks a tinge of garlic but still awesome stuff. Jispa agrees whole heartedly. We devoured over another movie.

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The next day we watched another movie but before we started the fourth I said we go down for a walk. Jispa wanted to cycle but I said we walk and then I threw in an absolute googly. Let’s go down to the park and sit down and …. (here is the clincher) and have some Maggi. Whats with kids and Maggi. They just love it. I too actually love it. I also grew up with Maggi in the kitchen. We now realize it has gulmates and all the bad stuff, but we still allow Jispa a treat once in a while. Imagine a childhood without Maggi. So we go down to the parka and sit down and enjoy the evening with Maggi and lemon barley water and watch a  game of cricket in one corner and another game of football in another. That’s another lovely evening.

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The last bit was making the strawberry and cream. That is a part of Doshi ritual. When mom travels the kids have to get fatter. So we made some amazing strawberry cream with some melted chocolate and some crushed oreos. Awesome. This we made four bowls and finished one off. The others are to be had with Jasmine. With the extra cream (I have no sense of quantities required), I peeled and split opened individual segments of oranges and put them in. awesome… even oranges taste amazing with sweet cream.

So there you have it. All together a lovely two and a half days. Jispa enjoyed it as well. In the middle we also found time to understand geometry. These were really simple concepts that she for some reason couldn’t get in class. I can’t for the hell of me figure why she did not get it in class. Adjacent, complimentary and supplementary angles. Not that I remembered what they were. A little help from Google and we were done.

So we did the homework, we ate some awesome food, we cooked together, saw movies together…. Had fun. When Jasmine came home her reaction – “you guys did not eat anything from what I made for you”. err… not doing what the mom expects you to do when she is away is also a part of the Doshi tradition. My dad taught me that …. Didn’t he?

All photos from my instagram feed :)

admit it, write it

OK. I don’t like going bald. I always thought I was prepared for it. But I think … no … I know… I am ill prepared for it. I don’t like it. Fundamentally I don’t think I am narcissist. But the whole thing is irritating me. I don’t really have a major issue with it but I hate the way it’s looking right now. I have a different problem. Problem 1 – I don’t like a hairstyle that makes others think that I am hiding my balding. So definitely I am not growing the sides of me hair and combing it over the top to cover it. Surely not an option. The other thing is that I am not growing the little hair I have on the top itself to cover for the ones missing. So I can’t grow my hair anything more than a little. Because then it looks to me that I am hiding my bald patches. So that is also not an option. So the only option is to cut it short. But not too short. Because in that case it looks even funnier :). Arrrggghhh. I admit. I don’t know how to deal with this issue.

My dad was bald and all my memories with him are of him almost bald. Atleast my daughter has a good ten years of memories of me not so bald. That’s the good part.

So in photos now days, they tell the truth. They call it like they see it. BALDING. And that is irritating me. The people in office calling me bald or pointing to my bald spot – that’s not so irritating but my photos…. They seem to be irritating me. WHY? I hate this. My rational brian is calling me a narcissist but I hate being called that by anyone…. Including me.

So I was telling Jasmine. The first thing I see on the photos is the bald spot. She told me that its not that prominent. I know sweetie and that’s what’s irritating me more than anything else. The fact that it is not prominent but it is irritating me is irritating me all the more. Arrrgghhhh. Dam it. What to do.

The thing is when reality hits you in the face you know what your true nature is. And I don’t like seeing my true nature on this one at least. Its bloody irritating. I was having enough struggles handling my age related issues. My knees hurt my back hurts, I can’t jump over stuff that I used to. I still am much, much fitter than almost all in office and many in my age group, but those are not my standard. My standards are mine. And for hair – I did not have any standards. I only combed my hair once a day. I hardly looked at it then. The bathroom mirror was just a quick glance and a quick run through on the hair and I was done. For years as a teenager I did not know what to do with my hair. My mom called me a golliwog thanks to my hair. It was a thick unruly mop all over the place. I tried all the barbers I could afford but it was to no avail. No one could really subdue it. Then I got to the twenties and thirties and most of my office life I learnt how to deal with it. I just kept them short and smart. I liked them that way.

But now… the middle of a rapidly declining cycle… arrgghhh I can only express my angst. Jasmine told me to keep a cap on for photos, but that’s not the solution. I have to be happy irrespective of what I look like. Am I so bloody concerned about what I look like? I hate being concerned. Call me bald, I am ok; point to the bald spots, I am ok; call me taklu, crack a joke, I am ok; see myself in the mirror, I am ok; but show a photo of me with a balding patch… and it gets my goose. Why! This is irritating me and this is something I have to solve upfront in my mind. It’s bloody ok. I have to keep telling myself.

Hopefully this phase is transient, hopefully I won’t be as obsessed about it as I am now. Hopefully I can laugh at the photo as I can laugh when someone is joking about it. Hopefully it will all come together and it will be all ok. At least I know I will never wear a wig or going for transplants or catch some quacks. At least I know enough to see myself reacting and not liking what I feel. Admitting is the first step towards changing. I am admitting and I am changing. This is nice.

The big one – I am writing a blog about it. That’s a nice one. It’s always helps to write it or talk it. I like to open up on my blog. My blog has helped me a lot. I was talking to one young student who reads my blog often enough. I was telling her that over the years I don’t know if the blog has shaped me or if I have shaped the blog. We both have changed. Matured over the years, lived with each other, spoken to each other. The blog has helped me more than anything else. Helped me think, rationalize and live my life. It’s been lovely. Surely the big motivation is leaving a legacy that hopefully Jispa will treasure, but importantly it’s helping me shape my present. And this is what I treasure.

The Big Splash

Last Saturday was a blast. For Jispa’s birthday I had organized a pool party and made the kids play games in the pool. Post this some parents wanted to play again, so we had one more game-day. Seeing the game day and the fun that we were having the Gymkhana committee wanted me to organize one game day for the gymkhana as an open fun event. Sure. My logic is simple. I want my child to have fun and my friend’s children to have fun as well. Everything else is a bonus. Well it’s not that hard core but yes, organizing games for the greater public is always fraught with danger. People not behainving the way you want them to, people suddenly leaving, suddenly fighting, my child this, my child that… known people are easier to control than unknowns. Or possibly the reverse is the truth. Sometimes mothers are really tricky.

I see it all the time. the mothers are really agitated at the sports meet. They are the ones pushing their child to do better. Possibly they are living their aggression through their children. At Jispa’s birthday and the other party it was the mothers who really I had to stop from fighting and cheating and trying too hard. STOP IT gals. Fathers possibly get their dose of aggression at the office place and this is the time for them to unwind and not show their agression. Whatever… the mothers are the worst to handle.

This time around there were hardly any mothers registered for the meet. The mothers possibly were shy of roaming around in a swimming costume whole day. A few fathers registered and a few semi adults… kids aged older than 18. I branded it splash day, ensured that the tone was fun and whole sale fun. Made the kids dive in, splash around and played some ridiculous invented games. The kids needed to learn to relax and play the game with the fun association as opposed to the competition association. Luckily the mothers stayed at bay. The kids did what they wanted to and to my relief it was a huge hit.

We started at 3 and went on till 7. Splashing around. Mikes went kaput, games had to be modified. Some kids were really bad swimmers. But overall… good fun. I kept asking the kids and they kept saying yes, it was fun. Some kid even said, it was the best day of their life! Wow, that was a big compliment.

Of course organizing this event was back to college days in terms of partnering with Jasmine. That is the best part of the entire event. When Jasmine and I take up any project together, it’s always been a great experience. We complement each other’s skill sets very well. I will do up all the mike handling, crowd handling, big vision, thinking over all; and she will get the process in place, man the tables, ensure things move in the back ground, food is served etc. I become the style and she becomes the substance. We think together and plan together and execute together. It works well. We don’t get too many opportunities to do that these days but these small ones are worth their weight in gold.

So we did get a lot of appreciation but the greatest moment was at the end, when the kids started pushing me into the pool. I handed over the mike and jumped right in and I was surrounded by kids jumping all over me.

That a nice pic I say.

Of course it all finally comes together thanks to a team. When I was younger I would want to change the world all alone. Push the bar, be in all places, walk, run and pull the entire event on my own. Over the years I have learnt that it’s not possible, or even if possible, the strain is too much. So I have been learning to delegate and then manage. People will rise to their level of competence. And people who want to work will see work and not raise hands but will move their entire body there and start working. That simple. I got a few volunteers from the mothers, essentially our friends. And I got a few fathers are well. Predictably some worked harder. The trick is to let them do it the way they want to. Normally I would have briefed and rebriefed. But I realize that this is just a gymkhana event. People are here as volunteers not paid jobs. They will do what they want and they do because they enjoy doing it not because they ‘have’ to do it. I let them handle the situation and they did so admirably well.

it’s a team game. Kids love to see everyone involved. We had around 90 participants at the Splash Day. What a day. At the end, the kids enjoyed and that the main thing. Someone told me that the gymkhana must be more appreciative of me for doing this for them. To which I say, our kids enjoyed, right? Then it was worth all the effort.

For me parenting at its core is doing stuff that I thought I wanted my parents to do with me. I wanted them to play with me. I wanted them to enjoy games with me. At the end I asked many kids, they all enjoyed it… and then I asked Jispa “so how was it?”. She said “ok ok”. “so what… you didn’t enjoy the day”. “it was nice” she answered, “but there were too many people”. Oh yes there were. But I think Jispa is used to having fun with her dad. Going out and playing. Swimming pool games. Good fun things. He excitement level is possibly set up pretty high. Well it is my doing I guess. So at the end of it – the final verdict that counts was – ok ok. Awwww…..

But then the photos came in and I saw the kids very very happy. So I am back… we will raise the bar next year. We have a lot to learn. Here catch a few moments…

at the start - forming the teams. i wanted them to come with their own teams... but the committe over ruled. hell... it was still fun

The kids at the games - some kids couldnt do much. The life gaurds just dint dive in to help out teh stugglising kids. I think its a socio economic issue. they would only get in possibly if someone was drowning or something. not sturggling. No problem. I dived right in. the kid clung onto me and it was a great feeling. Hugging / reassuring the kid, its ok...

SMILEY faces....

More smiley faces

My favorite kid. This was atough race. One kid sits pretty while the team pushing them to the close. I had "saved" him in a previous event. He was tiny.. I promised him the next event, he will be the most important part of the team. Being light has its advantages.

 Sometimes instructions have to be given from the pool itself.

 More fun...

daily Bananas

Christmas decorations on my cabin using post-its. Inspired by the post-it wars.



Dam it. We played cricket on this road 25 years ago. There were no cars parked. No traffic. The pitch was on the right side and there were shots all over. In fact I even remember playing across the road. You bowl from one pavement and you bat at the other. For those who wonder why kids don’t play outside – here is ONE answer.



Office is fun, especially if you have a sword and a hapless trainee.



What do you do if you have strawberries and truffles in your fridge. You melt the truffles and put them in the strawberry. That’s what.



Yup… this is what happens to them next.


Bananas. I really empathize and respect jispa. Poor thing eats bananas every day. In the morning thrice a week, she has to eat them and got to the pool. In the evening, it’s a small snack before she goes for a swim. Anyone will hate bananas, if you have to eat so many of them. Jispa likes them but is completely fed up of them. You just mention the word three four times and she will stop talking to you. Serious. I eat them in the morning and they have begun to fry my brains.



This Sky walk is used for something at least. Free propaganda is probably an important element in democracy.


Here Jasmine is explaining to Jispa what a ‘Habuk ‘means. A little too publicly :)



At café coffee day – the per unit cost of cookies doesn’t make sense. Its cheapest when you buy less and then goes up as you buy bigger packs and comes down again but not lower than the lowest pack.


there is a smile waiting for you everywhere



Bonus Video – some inspirational stuff for those who need Stallone to inspire them. Next time you are depressed, lost and down, may I suggest the complete Rocky collection. It has wisdom for all your situations, on top, below, down under… etc… given by coaches, children, wives, friends … everything. There is one Rocky for every possible depressed need.

slice of life

This was at our hotel in Kaziranga, Assam. Here, this sect of Hindus pray to Vishnu/ Krishna but don’t have an idol. Their simple temples in the houses just have the ceremonial text from which they pray. It sounds like a nice bhajan. Very sweet nice and simple. This man comes in the evening and sings a lovely song.

Privileges come in many forms. Here the cabin guys (read me) gets a ‘whiter’ plate to have lunch than the rest. How brahaminical is our thought process? Segregation must be a genetic thing.

And this one – Jispa asked to be do something funny with the sauce this time around. Do you think I take her too seriously?

This is exactly why I like to teach in graduate colleges. One false step and you will also be similarly screwed.

you too can win

Here are some photos of the training program that best elucidate the principles behind our success.

The lounge set up. While other teams had an official looking room, complete with tables and chairs as their war room, we had a lounge set up in ours. This contributed significantly to the fun element and the relaxed atmosphere. Learnings to take to office - Please tear out the tables and the tight arse chairs from all conference rooms.

This is a pictoral representation of our philosophy – you too can win. It means everyone in the board room is right and that anyone is equally capable of outstanding thought. Did you get it from the picture. Fret not. I didnt either.

Deep. Really deep strategic thought.

Me trying to draw  conclusions (sad pun intended). When you can’t think without a marker and a board, then you have officially broken into top management.

This one team member is trying hard to keep her strategic direction right while the PJ’s flow.

If you make the official court jester laugh, you better be funny; or really really sad.

While the strategic direction was missing, the inspiration was out of the window. While he learnt to use his new SLR, he accidentally shot a nice pic. He was trying to get the brown statues behind. Where are the statues? I told you its an accidental pic. But you don’t argue with genius do you. It IS a nic pic.

This was supposed to be a funny pic for a group photo. Someone said be funny, so I decided to give some uptight ones a ‘push’. Another sad pun intended.

But on a serious note, this training program taught me the value of laughter (a sad attempt at another figure of speech – this time The Paradox). Thank you dude. I dont think the others really caught on to our secret. even after telling them, and presenting it as such.

Its a new world

This post was written yesterday but got published today. Teething troubles at the new office.

Hmmmm. A new office after around four and three quarters of a year. This is the first time that I must have sat in one place for soo long. I have had a checkered history in my ten years of work life. I kept moving around, jumping around and bouncing from one place to another. It took some time for realization to sink in that staying in one place and growing roots is probably a smart thing to do. After all the struggle and gut wrenching that a babe in the woods is first subjected to, it is now time to sit and enjoy the benefits of experience, comfort level, knowledge and power. Power in two forms – the one that comes from authority and the second that is far less visible; it is the one that comes from knowing the system and the people within it. I suggest the latter is probably more powerful. And it only comes with time and enough ‘elephant bumping’.
Coming back to the new office. I like the new desk I got. Nice cozy corner of the office. I can play music to me hearts delight, watch movies, even watch some porn without anyone catching me :) I have a wall behind me and a color printer in front! And keeping with the cost cuttings happening no one except a couple of ‘hallowed’ individuals having access to the printer. Needless to add I figures to get my self the access. These days I am happy to be a bit undisturbed and away from it all. My team is a little bit away from me. I am happier for them. I wouldn’t want my boss looking down my shoulder. It also helps them grow up. What’s the point of ‘leading’ a team if they are unable to function without you? The idea is to make your self as free as possible to pursue ‘trivial pursuits’. Sorry for the silly word play. It was only intentional. Hehe.
While we were leaving the nariman point office, there was a tinge of nostalgia but now I am ok. I am making myself quite at home here. I just want a small corner to myself. This place would be the exact size they would need to dig if I were to be buried. What else does a man want?

The last day at the old office all cleaned up desk

Some images from the shifting
now this one is my favourite... wonder why...The new place…Wanna join me for a cuppa?

what say?

Jasmine had a Jispa experience – man evolved from apes – ya – then there was first man and women – ya – and from them all humans evolved – ya – so then why do know so less people. Aaaaaa. Jasmine answers – well .. uhh… that’s because there are so many people and its not possible to know all. Why, you don’t even know my father’s sisters kids, do you?
I was lucky not be around or be at the receiving end of this one. Good thing her train stopped there. God knows where it could have gone. Her mind works 24X7. Constantly working, thinking, inferring. Good for her. She will grow older faster…

This is taken at Marine Drive. One of our favorite haunts. Nice buzz the place has. It is also a source for many of our memories. Our college was nearby and the courtship ritual did involve a walk on this drive way.
Marine drive has undergone a bit of make over. They tiled the place. While I would have loved a bit of color in the tiles I am not complaining too much. Atleast while laying the tiles they managed to put in a pattern which I find quite nice to look at. Thick tiles slowly becoming thin and then back to think again…. and so on…

A lot of pavements in Mumbai have been tiled red with yellow lines. But then they get dug up soon enough and the tiles are replaced haphazardly. You can see the yellow lines pattern on the top disintegrating soon enough. A metaphor for the civic services, perhaps.

After we gujjus put sev on everything we are now ready to cheese everything. If its fat, sinful, fattening and bad for health – give us more!

riddle me ree

Here is Jispa’s reminder list for mom. On one of the Thursdays, she did not have her co curricular activity and hence would have come home by lunch… hence the instructions – no co curricular activity, cook lunch at home, pick her up at 1 pm, and count her while cooking lunch!

Well go on decipher this one:-
"Jispa Pooh Both Doshi". Poor Pooh. Now he is a Gujju! He will start having gathia and sev for breakfast.

Why do railway timetables posted on the platforms need to have ‘signing’ authority names printed on them? Wouldn’t we have believed them either way?


Look at the line for the bus. It was supposed to go straight on the footpath. It mysteriously turned towards the road hindering some of the buses. Why? Blame the commuters… Cant they stand in line?… well the answer will be easy for a common commuter, some drunk guy puked on the footpath and its still there – the puke that is. Hence to avoid it the line turns. Who do you blame now?

frayed nerves

This is pooh that Jispa likes to play with. This time she wanted someone to make her sleep. Poor Jasmine tried for 20-30 minutes. Somehow Jispa didn’t sleep. Then jasmine had to go and finish work. Jispa still wanted someone around and I was having dinner. So I got pooh to pet her and put her to sleep. There can you see pooh petting her to sleep. His left hand is on her forehead. He is quite a good pooh. Thanks pooh (bicharu pooh).
Jispa and I continue our face off on the buttoning issue. Random irrational arguments continue too happen. Jasmine has low tolerance for these. I quite enjoy them.

Jispa’s latest book - The concise Oxford English Dictionary. She learned to use it recently. She sits with it and reads it. We have to read out the difficult words and explain the meanings of the words that explain the meaning of the word. This is going to get pretty testing on our frayed nerves.

Cleanliness Campaign – bureaucracy way of telling people what to do and not bothering about it themselves. Who do you think will listen? Look at this poster. Notice the huge amount of dust that has accumulated on it over a period of time.