side nahi bola!

I see this cricket pitch marked out on the ground near office. I really really miss playing cricket. Cricket was an important part of life. It mattered to me. Playing cricket mattered. It taught me so much about life and about leadership and about the qualities of men! It taught me about playing to your strengths, field and to the strength of you team. Right now I am playing badminton. It’s an interesting sport as well. But it’s nowhere near a team sport like cricket. Here you play to your partner’s strength. The big learning is that you have no option but to trust your partner and pray they play to their strengths. You keep encouraging them and keep giving them tips and hopefully your partner encourages you and keep giving you tips. Cricket on the other hand has a complete huge team that you are playing in. as fielder you are on the move at all times. You are reading the game, the bowling, the batsman and you are trying to predict what is going to happen. When you bat you have to bat for yourself, your team, the score, the batsmen left, the bowlers bowling, who all are left… the complexities are enormous. That’s the reason that a captain is so important in cricket than any other sport. He takes decisions that can impact the game at every minute. Not taking a decision is also a decision. Letting the play drift a bit or speeding things up or sending the right person etc… A captain is almost the game! That’s why it’s a bug thing to be a captain in the Indian cricket team. He gets the best sponsorships and the big deals.

Of course galli cricket is never as complicated. You just go with the flow. In fact the captain’s job is only to win the toss and take batting first. People’s roles and positions are well marked out. Every guy has his pecking order in his brain. Everyone knows who is the best batsman and what is your rank relative to him. So you know before hand whether you will get to open or go one down or where you are going to field or if you are going to be given a bowl. Over time holy cows get established and no captain dare change the holy cow. At best sometimes a little shuffle happens and a little innovation happens but largely everything is set in stone. If the big opener is asked to sit in and go one down, it could cause a huge uproar… but only from that guy. The rest will only be happy to oblige and get first batting. The toss also has a strategic significance. It is extremely crucial to win this toss. This determines the entire game in galli cricket. It is a very simple rule at the core of it. You try your best to win the toss. Because if you win the toss - you bat. Simple. Any captain who wins the toss and fields will get removed from the captaincy. Of course – the team decides the captain. Hence the poor captain in this case is answerable to the team itself. Now the strategic answer to the reason why we bat first – always… its simple you only field for how much you have batted. You bat first, score as much as you want and then you field only that much. Everyone in galli cricket wants to bat. Bowling is a chore and fielding – the greatest boredom known to man. It is quite often that the entire team will get out for a paltry score in single digits. Then the batting team is even more ecstatic. This mean they got their batting, got out and now you don’t even have to field for long. Such are the travails of galli cricket.

In Mumbai galli cricket as the name suggests is played in the gallis – streets. The pole or the wall or a cardboard would be the stumps and one the other side is typically a stone. The topography of Mumbai dictates the rules of the game. The aunty who is ready to stop the game will have her wall  direct shot being given out. So the rules are complex – if you hit the wall one bounce or more – it’s a boundary. If you hit the ball full toss on the wall – it’s a six. But if by chance you hit the ball full toss outside the wall – oops – you are out. In fact most of the time the batsman wil drop everything and start running if he hit a shot too good for anyone else. He better run fast and search for the ball or else the game will simply stop. Other weird rule start coming into action depending on the game. Certain places you get declared runs, certain times LBW is not out, some times there is no stumping, wide has one run or simply a reball and so on. The wide and LBW are the most contentious ones, as they depend completely on judgment and there is no real metric to this. Since the umpire is almost always that of the batting team, the scales are always loaded in favour of the batsman. Hence it makes sense to nullify this for all. No LBW and a wide is simply a chance to ball again without the run penalty. The other fights happen over run outs and catch behind – those are the worst. They result in huge fights as it gets tight.

But the best is when your own batsman is struggling to score at the crease. Here your own team will boo you and in extreme cases the captain, keeping the team spirit as the primary motivation, declares the batsman out. He gets his own batsman back. You can get out, you can hit a bad shot, you can do anything but you do not ever waste balls and make the game boring. Everyone wants excitement. Running between the wickets is also a fun thing. if the two guys have a great chemistry then you can keep running or else, more often than not, you get to witness the most comical of run outs. The most amount of run outs will happen when you will see both batsman stuck on the same crease. One guy will run, the other guy will respond and then realize that it’s not working and then he rushes to beat his own partner to the crease so that the other guys run out. It crazy – because then the both team members will start fighting on the pitch itself, bats will be thrown and the choicest abuse will be hurled while the fielding team will be laughing their guts out. You get the best laughs in these comical situations. The only worry here is that if the fight snowballs and the batsman walks out and goes home – the game could end. Especially if he is the one owning the bat. You never piss off the owner of the bat or ball. NEVER.

I remember one other weird one during the summers. When the game went on in the morning or evening and you were thirsty – you go anywhere but your home to drink water. If you went home then invariably your mom would ask you come back home and then you are doomed. So you never go home to drink water. You always ask a friend.

The funnies of cricket:

Many times you play full catch both hands allowed and one bounce only one hand allowed

Run out on the bowler end is by touching the stone with your leg and catching the ball or by hitting the stone directly.

A half line is drawn across the pitch for knowing which end to throw to get the last man run out if you bat without runner. Otherwise a runner is used on the other end who cant bat.

Sometimes a joker is used if there is an odd number of players. He plays for both the teams but he can’t go in to bat till all the batsman are out and most of the time he cant bowl. He is largely the wicket keeper.

 And the most irritating rule that umpires of the batting team love – if you bowled with out specifying the side you bowled, then it’s a no ball. So basically before bowling you will walk up and tell the umpire – right arm over the wicket – and bowl – otherwise it’s a no ball – side nahi bola!

there much more to a vacation than a vacation.

I just returned from a vacation in Dandeli and Hampi. Of late I have gotten into taking everything as a learning experience and everything or every moment seems to be teaching me something. Possibly its only my old brain getting into too much thinking or possibly because I have suddenly decided that change is the new mantra. I have changed a lot in the last one year. I have been at least for my standards much more patient and willing to listen and understand the other side / point of view. I don’t know if its my life stage or my job or the environment around me that’s changing me, but it surely is.

WE went with a friend and she had her child along with us on the trip. It took a lot of restraint from my side to stop fathering the child. Trying to get the child into shape. I realize that is not my problem and it shouldn’t be. A child is like what he is because of so many factors. Earlier I would have made for a really bad ass travelling companion, trying to get every child into mold by being a disciplinarian. I was an ass and I can’t undo anything of that. But luckily this time around, I was less of one. I was much more patient and happy. At the start I was getting into old habits till I understood what I could or could not do. Even my friend was willing and would have given me a free hand but in spite of that I controlled. I stood firm on my stand and spread more love than discipline.

There are many factors that shape a child’s personality. Its own intrinsic behavior, the rewards and the punishment that its gets as growing up, the habits around the house, the behavior its apes, everything. And who are we to decide what is the right way to behave. Especially on a short holiday. Isn’t it enough that we are tyrants to our own children from the time they are born? I am so sorry for all the tyranny I caused to everyone.

Being a  dad earlier in your life is a good thing. You can do a  lot of things with the child that only the power of youth can help, as I will show you below… but it cant beat the older wisdom that comes with it. Possibly that’s why the dad’s role is to be a younger friend and the grandad’s role is to impart wisdom. Using patience and love. As I grow older I realize a lot of the mistakes I made, but I would have only realized them thanks to making them. So someone had to take the brunt of it. I guess this is the rule of life and it is philosophized as karma. At an overall level, you get what you deserve and to really rationalize it and balce it, you go back a few lives to get the balancing figure for the shit you are getting. Haha.

Forget that … back to the fun stuff. I always wanted to do stuff with my daughter. Go boating, rock climbing, exploring, swimming, diving into the cold rivers… headfirst. Wow those were dreams, but now Jispa is old enough to do some of them. In fact a lot of them got done this time around.

First one – Kayaking – we went kayaking into the rivers. Just she and me. We even spotted a crocodile on the banks. It saw us and splashed in. like idiots we went further till I got a little chicken and decided to turn back. We were less than 15 meters away from where it was sun bathing. It was a medium sized one at around 9 feet long. Jispa and I were initially in different boats. She then got a bit tired and we got onto a boat that had both of us. I told Jispa… it was dream to go kayaking with you, both on individual boats and on a joint both. Exploring the river, seeing the wild… and yes we even spotted a black capped kingfisher.

Here are pics…

Then another dream, diving into a river in the wild. Here you are. In case anyone is thinking… yes it’s the same Crocodile River. The crocodile was spotted by us on the opposite bank. Call us foolhardy, but it was fun.

And the last – to go on the wild boulder mountains of Hampi. My knee doesn’t permit us to do much of this. But we climbed our small hill and waved out to mummy down below. Really small hill :).  But it was a start. The next time I am in Hampi, I am going to go in with a properly strengthened knee and going to spend a day or two just climbing these monsters and walking around.

and this one is just for kicks

and a few more

inspired by lion king

and - we are just another rock!

and this one is mildly inspired by titantic

a new scrap everyday

After all these years some things never change. The stress of education is always there on the child and add to that – the greatest stress ever – the stress of homework not done or homework incomplete.

Yesterday was Jispa’s last day of the vacation. Till the fourth standard – every year in the vacation they have to write a scrap book of the stuff they did in the vacation. This for us is the most painful thing. You have to think of stuff we did, print pictures and decorate the scrap book. The most tiresome of them all – get Jispa to write in the scrap book. Get behind here. It’s like getting her to write 20 essays. Arrgghh. We have to be real mean parents if are to get her to finish on time. Things don’t help when the highlight of your holidays which is the vacation we took is towards the end of the holidays. We even took the dam bloody scrap book to Udaipur and made her write in her vacations. Whenever we had free time, we would goad her into writing. She would curse us, curse the dam book but she had no option but to write. After she writes, we can choose the pictures and print them accordingly. Jasmine had been telling her to write a few pages of Hindi as well. Jispa maintained that it was optional. Yesterday, on the last day, Jasmine read the circular that explained quite clearly that a few notes in Hindi are expected. But since getting Jispa to do the scrap is so bloody stressful, we let it be. Don’t bother.

At around 8 pm, when we are all ready to sleep and Jasmine is so tired that she even falls asleep, Jispa suddenly sees something that every school going kid sees. The consequences of not doing what you have been told to. Till now the school and the home work seemed far away. Hindi pages – sure – it’s optional. Its not required. But now, she was suddenly convinced it is not optional. It is required.  She comes to me with an upset face. What am I to do? Nothing, chill I tell her. We will figure. Now have your bath. After her bath also, she comes to me. Now really upset and almost in tears “what will happen tomorrow?”. “arey” I tell her “you enjoyed your summer vacation, nah? Why regret? Don’t worry. You said it was optional and what can your teacher do? She will only scold nah? Don’t worry”. “no” Jispa cried, “she can mess with my grades”. I wanted to tell her, chill man. Shit happens. It’s not the end of the world. In school, shit always happens.

When I was her age, shit happened all the time. We were three kids. Of course my mom couldn’t completely focus on all our studies. And then my dad had a heart attack when I was in fifth standard. So shit just hit the roof many times. Homework not done, answers not learnt, talking in class, all sorts of shit. Even rubbish like – paints not got for art class. And we used to sometimes get slaps, punishments, kneeling and what not. That stuff is at least banned in school these days. We used to get the dreaded remark in the diary. This had to be signed by the parent, which was a really BAD thing. So the biggest worry was not the shit hitting you. That was manageable. It was the shit hitting you once you get home. Who wanted that? School was enough. You plead with the teacher for mercy – she refuses takes your diary and then you go home and explain the shit all over again. The pain was getting home and facing crap.

At least in this – I wanted to tell Jispa – you can’t get any crap at home. I am saying ok. Shit happens. Not writing a few pages of Hindi is not exactly a bad thing that I am going to scold you about. But then how do I tell her that its ok for teachers to be angry at you, it’s a pathetic thing you shouldn’t be bothered about. I couldn’t do that. So I looked at her and said, ok let’s do something about it. I wake Jasmine up and explain the situation. We press code red. We get the papers, the ruled papers, the blank papers, the colored papers. Then we think about how to write stuff that will fill at least two sides in Hindi. Then we think of something. Tomorrow is Monday. Monday is no Hindi. Hindi subject is on Tuesday. Cool Jispa. Write the stuff now, we will decorate it tomorrow and you can tell your teacher that the Hindi pages of the scrap book are coming separate and you will get it for Hindi class. So I dictated a lot of stuff on the Hindi essay to Jispa. That itself was a crazy situation, I shouldn’t be dictating stuff. She should be writing it herself, but when you are about to sleep on a Sunday night in anticipation of a whole week ahead then you really want to get all the stuff done fast and easy. Thinking anything in Hindi is a big task for me. It ok to speak in ‘Mumbai’ Hindi but it’s another task altogether in writing decent fourth grade Hindi. Getting all the grammar right is very very stressful.

So we finished by 9 to sleep on time and Jispa was happy. “Thank you mom, thank you dad”. “ya sure” Jasmine said and the asked her “so do you enjoy working at the last moment? Would you do this again? Will you do so when I tell you?”. “yes mamma, sorry mamma.”

Sigh. All’s well that ends well. I try not to give too much stress about the education bit. I try and take all that stress on my head. If you have to learn tables, fine, let me do it along with you. If you have to do homework, ok, let me help you. It’s pretty boring getting to do all the work alone. Also being the only child, you can’t force the old “all of you sit down and do your homework together” bit. So I try and be extra sensitive. As it is, there is enough grief in a child’s life. I don’t want to contribute to it. There are many benefits of having siblings, but there are many cons as well. We took a call and had only one child. That was so that we could focus our time and energies on her. Completely. So we must focus on her. That’s the way I see it. I have no other excuses. Hence also no complains.

In the morning over breakfast she was telling me how the scrap book completely spoils her vacation and she hates it. I explained to her about a research I read. Kids who leave for the vacation end up not studying at all or reading at all. This largish break makes the child regress in his learning. So while a vacation is good for a child to play freely, it also means that the child must do small little work that keeps him up to speed with what he has already learnt. Two months a long time in child years I guess. That settled it for now. Luckily next year onwards she does do the scrap book, but I am told they have book reviews to be submitted. Hahahha. Have fun. Jasmine and I are happy that theoretically we are off the hook on those kinds of assignments. Hehehe.

zoom

Last week I was in Udaipur for a personal leave. Jasmine and I have realized the value of staying put in as few places as possible during a leave. First we would go to multiple places in one leave. Like our honey moon, in which we did more than 6 places in 15 days. We covered practically the whole of  Kumaon region in Uttrakhand when we were there. Slowly slowly we were down to three places, then two and now we are at one place one week. The last two holidays have been just that. Reach, plonk yourself and if needed use that as a base to explore further. So this time, it was one week in Udaipur. This also affects the hotel choice. We end up taking a smallish but cute and clean hotel, that is typically family run. And this time for the first time, we deliberately went for a hotel with a pool in it. if you are there for eight nights and you might get a bit of hot weather, you need a pool. So we got, history, culture and relaxation – all in one vacation.

Another thing that we have discovered in India is the Golden Quadrilateral. The new highways of India. I have been hearing about how good. I used to try and get Jasmine to agree on driving holidays. The last time we had no option but to drive to our spot as it was pretty remote. The highways are amazing. These are segregated lanes with flower beds in the middle. And enough space to zip through. When I first drove on Indian highways, it was around 20 years ago. We had a Fiat premier padmini car. Here is a similar model. Ours was white as well.

My dad had bought it second hand. My mom had insisted on buying a car as my eldest sister was marriageable age and we must have a car to prove that we were well off. That we had two flats and that we had stayed in Dubai or whatever else was probably not too much of a show off value. So dad bought his car for around ninety five thousand rupees. A princely sum of course in those days. Must have been around in the year 1990 or thereabouts. The only thing we kids did not like about it was that it did not have an AC in it. We were keen that we have atleast an AC car. We wanted a Maruti but our conservative parents preferred this car, which we made do with. BUT NO AC? That was a bummer. But hell, we still loved that we had a car and as soon as we turned 18, we enrolled into a driving school and got our licenses. Dad actively taught our driving and soon enough we were driving on highways.

The highways. Oh the highways on a premier padmini. It had no acceleration to talk about. It was good for doing 60kmph at bets. Reaching any speeds beyond that required a large empty stretch of road and 90 would be around the best available speed. That too only if we got like a straight road with no traffic on the way. I must crossed that only once in my padimini. Add to that were the state of the highways in India. I was explaining to Jispa that the highways were just one road with one lane going up and another lane going down, with no segregation. The lanes were simply painted. So when you drive you have to be very carefull. For overtaking every time, you would have to tail the truck in front of you and then move little to the right and check for oncoming traffic. Then if you found the coast clear you would press the accelerator completely and hope to pass the truck before an oncoming vehicle came face to face with you. But that’s not enough similarly you have to constantly look for incoming vehicles that are overtaking by coming onto your lane. You would have to adjust your speed accordingly. I have been pushed off road one more than one occasions by a truck who has mistimed his overtaking. So I move off the road rather than get smashed into as pulp.

I was explaining this to Jispa and she found it quite amusing. The highway to Udaipur is around 800 km long and is one super straight drive. Only in one 50 km patch between Ahmedabad and Ghandinagar is the old style highway. I guess that is because it is the Ghandinagar bypass. If you go through the city then you get the segregated lanes all the way. This is like a shortcut. It helped to have it as it was like giving a live demo to Jispa. I talked to her while I was driving. See now I must overtake this way. Now I must look for this truck. She now found all it even funnier. All the cars waiting behind a truck and then suddenly all of them accelerating together and overtaking. Then she saw how we were stuck behind a truck at 40kmph waiting for a chance to overtake. As opposed to 100 -120 kmph on the normal highway, it felt like a hare waiting impatiently behind a tortoise waiting for an opening.

The superb highways made me think about my political leaning. The bridges in Mumbai which got much acclaim were thanks to the right winged group in power. The Golden quad highway project was a brain child of the same right winged combo in power at the center. The more secular party leans almost left and is a ‘welfarist’ at heart. While I think some of the legislation like the NREGA which guarantees employment may have much greater long term impact than what most understand, I need good roads and bridges now. No I am not talking like a spoiled brat who wants roads for a self drive vacation. But I see the benefits of good infrastructure.

Long ago in my naivety I had argued that India does not need so much infrastructure. After all we led the IT boom in spite of the no government support and in the absence of any backing. Adversity led to innovation. But I couldn’t have been more stupider. We desperately need it and the multiplier effect is for there to see. Good roads means better transport for goods and materials, we can now use large trucks on the highways, better trucks, better facilities for drivers, faster transportation. May be capital intensive in the short run but cheaper in the long run. Business comes up in and around the area and you definitely gain in terms of efficiency. It’s bloody important. So this time around if I vote right winged, it’s not that I love secular less, but that I love infrastructure more (sorry Brutus).

football

In some ways I hate Jispa’s vacation. It takes my morning schedule and throws it out of the window. Jasmine too believes she is on vacation further compounding matters. Hence thanks to that we don’t sleep early we wake up later and I barely get time for my morning yoga and swimming. I guess I have learnt not to fight it too much I just get on with it. I have decided it takes too much effort and will power on my side to break away from the family ritual and I stay on in bed and just about manage to amble in to office on time.
I am just dying for the school to start. Morning yoga and morning swim is just the right thing for me. I have been getting too soft and hopefully the coming Monday will see me back to the good old schedule.
To make matter worse the general uplift in work load means very little time for writing my blog. I like to come in a bit early and sit down and write before the office wakes up. So today I missed yoga and a swim but I managed to come in early just to write the blog. Somehow this blog has become an important creative release for me. I feel it gives meaning to some activity of mine. I don’t know. But its fun writing.
Talking about activity… no matter how much you exercise every sport is different and has its own nuances. On Saturday we had the intra office soccer tournament. It was a five a side affair with tiny grounds and small goal posts. Played in rain on grass, it makes for a wet, horribly soggy ground and a mud wrestle of a match. Its complete chaos. And after the tournament day you discover some muscles that you never knew you had. While walking the first time I felt that there was muscle a little over the shin and below the knee. Till now I thought it was all bone.
The reason I can feel this muscle on my right leg is because I am the defender. My job is to kick the ball right into the other half. The muddy ground makes passing impossible and the water soaked patches makes dribbling a farce. And in five a side there is no office rule. I learnt this lesson around five years ago. Just kick the ball over every ones head into the other side. Most teams make this mistake of dribbling and passing and slow short passes or solo runs by the star. The star player is simply supposed to hang around the opposite goal. Two defenders are enough to save almost any goal from the amateur sides. Especially when there is soo much muck floating around. Also with seven minutes a half, the referee is not going to blow the whistle often and on most fowls. You have to be blatantly dragging the guy down to really give away a foul. It is an ugly slug fight.
Some patches are so water logged that there is atleast a foot of water. We had one area near the goal post. There the forwards were fighting with the defender, the goalies joined in, no one really knows who is in which team, everybody is covered in brown. People are fighting and falling all over the ball. The goalie cant get a grip on the ball. At one point the defender had come sliding in, the goal had jumped over him, the attacker was down and eth ball… the ball was somewhere near the led of eth defender and under the stomach of the attacker. Then another defender comes in and tries to kick the ball which is under the stomach of the fallen attacker. All this in one foot of water, and the rain is still coming down hard. Finally the ref had enough and blew the whistle for dangerous play. Penalty. As a defender I was happy that the ball wasn’t kicked my way. I had tears in my eyes from all the laughing thank to the sight.
The penalty spot was in 4 inches of water. The attacker managed to put the ball there and he took a kick. What do you expect? The ball did not even reach the goal post.
That’s football for you. Good fun nah? Well it’s a male thing. All that physical exertion, hardly any skill, lots of mud and a general fight on hands.
I guess there is reason why we like cricket over football as a nation and I really don’t know what Girish says about Indian genetics and football :) (he does make sense) but all I know that I don’t see too many Indians falling over and rolling in mud trying to play this game. Like most writers without substantial proof I feel like saying ‘it’s too anti Brahminical to succeed in India’. But like most truths, I think the answer might be a curious mix and match of many more characteristics. Sometimes I believe it’s simply a case of lack of role models.
My brother used to play very good football. In fact he was given the haloed number ten jersey while he played at school. My mom told him that football will never sustain him as a career. While my sweet dad loved sports and tried to support him in his game, at some time he knew it was education that would hold him in his life not football. I don’t think our parents ever saw that it was possible to play football and make a career. My brother is only one. There were many such talented player who just about killed their talent and love with education. My guess is that only after Sachin really made it big and showed how its possible to play cricket and make money that so many parents supported their kid’s cricketing ambitions. Till about them most of the players who played for India generally belonged to the upper class.
Which makes me think. Do kids require role models or is it parents who require role models. A kid simply plays, it’s the environment that supports him or not, basis their own beliefs. Hmmm… I am thinking.

see it slink

The slinky is one of the coolest toys ever to have been invented. The sheer simplicity and the magnitude of imagination involved from the child make it a winner. We were roaming around Rishikesh when I spotted a stall selling the slinky. It didn’t immediately strike me to buy it.

On our way back I told Jispa that I will get for her a surprise. We stopped at the stall and bought her a slinky. One of the best thirty bucks I must have ever spent. Jispa took to it in an instant. Suddenly it became the Slinky. It had emotions, it had feelings, it could be put to bed, it needed to be played with, it danced, it loved doing something and did not love something else. It was full time pass for her and me. I told her that while I was a kid I too loved having a Slinky and I had to plead to get it. Times have changed and we have grown richer as well. So I guess her childhood would be slightly better than mine in some respects atleast.
Jasmine and I tend to talk to her like adults. Like a sponge se soaks it all up. Once I was talking about how prices rise and how the same thing over a period of time will cost more money and explained the term inflation to her. She not only understood it but also this time around while I was explaining that the cost of the slinky would have gone up, she said, dad dad… wait. Is that that thing you taught me.. in.. in ..in ..iflat or something.. inflation. Yess… its pretty cool. She likes to know the new words and new terms and I love explaining it to her.
Vacations are meant for that. we see stuff, I talk and explain stuff. We discuss concepts and science and a lot of GK. It is really very good fun. Vacations give concentrated time for doing this. It gives plenty of opportunity to explore and new things to see. It is not just relaxation but a lot of interaction.
One of the demands form my team in office was to get something from my vacation, that tey can keep in office. I searched for the most atrocious thing I could lay my hands on. I wasn’t going to get something sweet and cute for sure. While searching for eth atrocious, Jispa picked up the word and she loved it. She tried using it in a few sentences. She still does. What I finally ended up buying was not so atrocious as it was outrageous. A neon orange flying plastic hanuman.

Coming back to the slinky. Yesterday Jispa had a friend over from her class. Together purely for entertainment I got out some 30-40 books and created a staircase the slinky could jump from. It is the coolest thing ever. That alone resulted in 3 hours of fun for them. It was fun getting it right. The right height between the steps and the right width of each step for the slinky to climb down from. Super cool. Try it at home and be amazed for hours.

go goa

Ok, the verdict is out. The glares are awesome. At least they were in the first few days that used them in Goa. Awesomely light and very clear. I used them in the swimming pool, on the beach, on a scooter and in the Arabian Sea. Ya, I was swimming in the sea with them on. Perfect. Very light and very clear and so far no scratches. Vasool.
Goa was a fun outpost. Jispa has become a fine water baby. She wants to hit the swimming pool in the hotel and then refuses to be dragged off the water on the beach. I spent hours and hours with her in the water. And I realized the utility of having sun tan lotion / sun block being liberally applied on your skin. I thought I was dark enough to function without it. Two days of roaming around in shorts (only shorts) and red burnt shoulders later I had learnt my lesson. The last two days were spent applying cold cream indoors and sun block outdoors. That seemed to soothe it, though I ended up almost screaming every time Jasmine or Jispa happened to lean on my broad albeit red shoulders. Hehe.
Now we are pretty much convinced of the power of tripadvisor and lonely planet. It worked for us here as well. The hotel was exactly as we expected – nice simple, sweet with a clean pool. It also helped hitting the right spots to eat and relax. Goa is fun off the crowded areas. On one day we went to south Anjuna to get a lovely clean beach. The eyes needed some adjusting. Nopes, it wasn’t the glare. That my sun glasses took care off, it was the topless women, and blatantly so. I was thought getting topless women at a public beach was an urban legend but this was the real thing. The first instinct was to look at Jispa. She didn’t seem to notice it. Luckily it wasn’t like a nude beach, just a few women topless.
Luckily I have turned out fairly stable about nudity (inspite of a deprived childhood :P) and have been fairly level headed about it. This is my second brush with it. Once many years ago some asset management company had taken us on a cruise. One of the shows was a topless show that I found no point of going to. The second time we had gone again. Another dumb asset management company. This time a set of students who were now working with us were also there. They wanted to go but were a bit shy or trepid. They wanted me to come along. Almost like an adult. Sure, I had no qualms in them seeing it and I have always thought that nudity is so dam overrated. So the show started and soon enough the models were topless. Once it’s off and blatantly so, it ceases to really excite. This was a show which started at I think 1 am or something. Soon ten minutes into the show I was fast asleep. I hate shows of all types. Seeing people dance and sing and perform on stage bore me no end. I hate the award shows as well. Now I am also getting tired of Jispa’s school shows. Once her act is over, I am all ready to sleep. This exciting topless show was no exception. Some of the other guys also slept through. But at least they woke up to know that the experience is much more hyped than it actually is. I always encourage the kids to see it for themselves. For decent stable minds it really really can’t be that much fun.
Ditto for the beach. The only real minor irritant. You try and look away from the sun bathers as you don’t really want anyone thinking you are staring at them even though you might not honestly be staring goggle eyed at them. Whatever! Family man must be a bit careful. Always.
While we are not the gastronomic delight seekers, with the lonely planet recommendations, we realized that if you have time its good fun to roam around (especially when the journey is part of the destination), looking for the recommended places and eating. Never waste vacation time on eating but if you have alight schedule, a bike filled with petrol and all three love going around a bike, any excuse is a good excuse. And if the excuse happens to be in the form of waiting pizza then all the more.
All in all a great time. The scooting around on a Honda scooter, the lazing around on the shallow waters of clear Mandrem beach, eating raw mangoes stolen from a tree, removing my shirt and still feeling overdressed… worth every bit.

handle on life

Google analytics is such a useful tool to put on your blog. It gives you tons of visitor statistics, which pages are popular, where readers come from etc etc. Its fun having this information and I have put these codes up sometime back. But then again, why should I be so enamored by it? My core target is Jispa. If I choose to play to the gallery, that would defeat the entire purpose and authenticity of the blog, wouldn’t it? Sure you are welcome. All can read. It is an open blog, but the writing must personal and to my mind directed. Would I have been able to keep this going otherwise? I don’t think so.
The birth of child is the death of the father. Somebody told me that kabir said so. The moment your child is born you start living your child’s life, you are ready to give up your life for your child, so in effect you are dead in that way.
A child changes you in many ways that one cannot fathom. This time when we went on a vacation to the north I had a bad back. It is a muscle injury in the lower back. Quite painful, especially while sitting. Pretty ok while walking or standing. But it starts hurting a bit while trekking, climbing. This vacation gave us plenty to do just that. Every time we would go trekking it would start with a niggle. A lot of the walking was through narrow paths with a steep slide on one side. To make matters worse the walking was on dry leaves which aren’t exactly great for grip. Being daddy, I love the responsibility of holding Jispa through all this, and I was not going to let my back come in the way. So I was holding Jispa all the time. It is then I realized that a daughter’s hand is a magic wand. My back pain disappeared when I held her hand. How could my back pain when I have to take care of Jispa. It’s just not possible. Together we took on steep inclines, steps, jumps, slips and everything that Mother Nature threw at us. At one point in Jilling, we had hailstones coming down with the temperature dipping. But with my little magic wand in my hand we just kept going. No pain.
But this is not a one way street. After we came back, Jispa pretty much refused to sleep alone in the separate room. She kept trying to slip into our bed. She is now quite big and we all don’t fit, especially considering the painful back. It’s quite a task of convincing her. Now the new thing is that she will not sleep in her bed on her own. You have to lie down next to her and make her sleep. Once she is asleep, you can proceed to catch your sleep on your bed. You read a bit, she reads a bit. Then she closes her eyes and sleeps. She says if we are not there then she does not get sleep fast. It takes a lot of time. Yesterday while I was beside her, she was quite irritated. There was a song in her head which she just couldn’t shake off. I think it was Billo rani or something like that. With that song in her head at night, no wonder she was irritated. So then I read her a few stories, hugged her a bit, get hugged back in return and then she got her sleep. Magic works both ways.

The theme song for parenting is not so different from this evergreen song. Its also a solution to most parenting issues. Both ways!

legacy, eh!

Back after a two week hiatus. It was family time with Jasmine, Jispa and me going to Kumaon. Every year vacation planning becomes very difficult. Where to go, what is the climate, how do we reach, what do we do etc… we wanted to go to Rajasthan for some time and visit Udaipur and Jaipur but somehow the plan never went anywhere. You can go there in July but we realized that if the monsoon is delayed then you could get temperatures of around 40 degrees. Whew.. so we suddenly made a u turn on the plan the finalized this plan within an hour one night and proceeded to make the bookings. So it was us visiting Pangot, Jilling and Naukuchiatal in Kumaon.of all things I missed was – updating my blog. I thought of so much to write. Now I almost feel like buying those pocket PC and fitting the dam thing with a data card. I have this kida to start writing. I would like to write on my blog, write a children’s book, write some travelogues, but sitting here and doing it from Mumbai is almost as impossibility. I would need to get away somewhere and figure.
Once I read an article on people taking up writing. One of the guys was quoted as thus – whenever I say to anyone that I am writing something, they ask me when I am going to publish it. Its like asking someone who likes playing basketball, when are you playing for the NBA. I found that quote quite inspirational. Writing for me is so personal. I write because I want to. I really don’t care who reads it. I would be most happy if my daughter would one day read it. She is probably my one and only target audience. That reminds me that I have to proof check my travelogue. Wonder why I haven’t yet found motivation to do it. Well there is precedence – I never did get around to checking my papers while writing exams and I assume I would not change anytime in the future.
Yesterday was summer solstice. Nothing about it but I had taught Jispa what it was and she had fun experiencing it. she realized it was a loooong day and it wasn’t dark till quite late. It was also a perfect date for her to shed (?) her fourth tooth. Fairy came in again and wrote some message for her. Fairy needs to get a bit creative though I believe the back pain stopped her from thinking too much.

While there is a lot I have to write about the trip – I hope to be writing about it one at a time. Whenever I go out vacationing or anywhere else, I experience new things, new stuff, I come back smarter. I learn from varied sources. It helps me lead a richer fuller life. All this comes back to me in my job. I can think of different elements that could help me do my job better. It is very important to have varied interests and be as exposed as possible. A simple interest in wildlife helped me design some collateral once. Using the right animals helped the design. Example knowing that Indian gharial is different from the average crocodile as in it has special mutations that have helped it survive by catching fish in the rivers, was used in one collateral. Some service example somewhere would have helped something else. When I was in consulting they realized this. They allowed for this. Brand strategy inspiration can come from varied sources. But companies rarely recognize this. They like to straightjacket their work, their thinking and their ideas. That’s why you get shitty slipshod work. People are trained not to get ideas, inspiration and references. One thing I hope is that Jispa leads a richer life and gets her inspirations from a billion sources. One friend of mine got it right when she saw the book collection. Her hubby was wondering what I am going to do with my book collection.
She realized that all I am doing was building a legacy.

Not too soon

On Saturday we left for a visit just off pune, to Jadhav Garh. Its quite a nice property. They have restored an old fort and it’s a smallish place but well restored and touched up. Going for the drive with family is decent enough incentive. Every time I end up driving most of the time as I don’t really mind and I guess it’s the male thing to do. But I hate it when I hit the roads in Mumbai and I like to give to Jasmine. She complains that I just drive the mind dead freeways and hand over the bad traffic to her. This time I gave her the wheel as soon as we hit the Expressway on the way back. It was pretty cool to doze off in the next seat. I should do this more often.
We enjoyed the place. It’s a good retreat for a couple of nights. Quite a relaxed one. With no TV at home we hardly do watch TV at the hotels itself. And when we do, it becomes a three way fight with Jispa wanting kiddie stuff, Jasmine for music or stage shows and me going for sports. With Jispa and Jasmine both settling on 9XM for music I get voted out. Now I am forced to watch Bollywood videos being churned out in between funny fillers. These fights help us reiterate our promise never to get a TV at home. The other thing we realized that in the last two and half years the TV and its ubiquitous TV remote has gotten pretty hep as well. We saw games, selection of movies, radio, etc on the TV. And we saw a remote like none other. So many options. It took us a few minutes trying to figure out the keys. We still got it wrong a few times. We shut out the TV a couple of time. But give us some time. We too will get there. Not too soon though.

chilling under the midday sun

Just back from our favorite holiday. We had been to Manoribel at Manori. Jasmine and me love this as its just about an hour and a quarter away from home. Over pack whatever you want into the dam trunk and run along when ever you wake up in the morning.
It quite a laid back place with most of the staff consisting of local women. It amazing how the entire place runs with minimal male involvement. The men are limited to the watchmen and gardeners. Otherwise it’s women’s lib all the way.
This time we sent on a Wednesday and had Jasmine’s family join us over the weekend. They would normally be wary of coming to a place that has a common veg and non veg kitchen but Jasmine prevailed. Her brother just loved the place in the end. It’s nice in winter but I think it’s nicer in the summers. It doesn’t get hot on the hammocks and under the trees. The water at the beach is also nice and warm when we hit it at 4 pm. Thus we can swim in as much as we like without feeling cols or worry about catching one. A good book along the holiday is an absolute must to enjoy the hammocks. This time I bought the book Outliers by Malcom Gladwell. Good thing I brought this one along. At first I was planning to read the HBR on employee appraisals and I relaised that it was reminding me of office way too much for comfort, till the point that I wasn’t enjoying reading it. I had to chuck it fast. Offices are useless when it comes to transparency, keeping employees interest first, structured processes etc especially mixing common sense and fairness. I believe my notions are way too radical for offices with their myriad structures and politics to follow. So it was nice to chuck that book and pick up Gladwell. He just has this amazing ability to pick different studies, collate them and draw common strings to prove his point. Sometimes I believe it might be much too simplistic and he might overlook strong counter points but, hell it’s a best seller that he is writing and not a thesis. You take it as he gives. It is quite a different read once you are a parent. It almost reads like a parenting book and I would possibly recommend as thus as well.
On of the evenings we were having a discussion with Jasmine’s family (brother, mom, dad, everyone). We were talking Gandhi (jasmine’s dad is quite a gandhian), India etc. normally I am reticent in such conversations (see earlier blogs) but this time in front of family I felt comfortable to open out. I found myself quoting a large number of books for supporting view points. I found myself sounding quite erudite (forgive my self praise). I was surprised that I remembered this much from these many sources. All that reading seems to be helping me somewhere. I hope.
Normally my rule is that one book must give me atleast one take away. Imagining India by Nandan Nilkeni has given me several. I realised this in the conversation that I was having. I think that’s the power of well researched and thought through arguments. In fact I started a new thing thanks to that book. Half way through I took a pencil and started underlining what I liked. I looked up meanings of words and started writing them in the book. I hope to follow this from hereon. Its quite a revelation. I recommend that book fro anyone who wishes to talk, argue, debate, blah blah anything on India. I have not seen a book like this anywhere else.

Just outside we came across a shop that predominantly caters to the beach tourist. He inflates the price of the Kurkure chips by 5 bucks (25 instead of 20). I check the pack and sure enough a stcker that says – specially packed for picnic point – price rs. 25. what a scam. I tell the guy ‘com on – what rubbish is this?’ he doesn’t look me in the eye and smiles sheepishly and says, company has does this. What’s the real price I ask. 20 he says. Since he half admits by his smile and is a sweet guy, I pay the 25 in any case. But I like the scam. Why charge extra, just change the sticker. The novelty of the scam was worth the 5 bucks extra for me.

thank you shitheads, you make my life... deep?

But to act, that each tomorrow, find us farther than to-day. Henry Longfellow is so right. Any experience and any day must take us further. That applies to holidays as well. This holiday we were in Haridwar, Rishikesh and Chamba. Being in Haridwar it easy to now understand why the there was resentment against the Brahminical tribe and their practice. I use the term loosely to describe those people who purport to show the way to God and spiritual upliftment. An important part of their trade (surely is a commerce) is to play on the fact that you would be able to absolve yourself of your guilt and bad behavior by merely following some magic formula. And guilt alleviation doesn’t some cheap.
At Haridwar we got sucked in by a guy getting us to perform some Pooja at the Ghat. I show Jispa believing it and repeating what the mantra the Pujari was asking us to repeat. This is not what I want to pass on to my kid. No Chance.
What I made a decision was that I will NEVER ever want to get caught doing anything ritualistic. No poojas, no rituals, no tikas, no bowing. Just belief in yourself, your actions and your inner voice. That itself is important, nothing else. I will probably still release a diya in the river, light one, cover my house with a garland, play the bhajan CD first thing in the morning in the car. Those are my feel goods. My vibes. But they will not be a source of strength or a belief that it will absolve me of any guilt.

I am glad that dickhead accosted me and showed me what an ass I am. Thank you for all the crappy shits (there is a long list of them in my life) in the world. What would I have learnt without you?

the jungle calling

I have returned from an interesting vacation. We went to Ranthambore and Bharatpur. The verdict – Ratham Bore, but Bharatpur is amazing. The stupid Tiger safari is one of the most boringthings that you could do in Rathambore. They load you on canters and take you on an bumpy dusty dirt track in an effort to see the tiger. The tiger is obviously in no mood to oblige every tourist that visits the park. The idiots at the park have all wrong. When the odds of the tiger are so clearly stacked against you its obviouslya better option to build the story ofteh jungle by itself. There a billions things you can say about the spotted deer, the sambars, the birds, the crocs and even the bloody monkeys. The guide has to educate, talk, weave a story, explain the jungle, but I don’t think anyone is listening. Just drive like a maniac and show the tiger. Ya sure, but where is he? She? Whatever?
There we stayed at this place called the Tiger Moon Resort. The idiots at the Mumbai booking office somehow just screwed up and gave us canter safaris instead of the jeep safaris. In spite of booking the stay with them weeks before the safari bookings opened. But the resort was redeemed by the amazingly polite and caring staff, their interested naturalist and their clean functional rooms with lovely hot water. The naturalist took some time aside to give Jispa lessons on wildlife, which we recorded on tape. His assistant took us to the fort and a nature walk and we really enjoyed the bird life. Jasmine as it turns out is quite a bird enthusiast. A book on birds in India (I bought years ago for Jispa) and a pair of binocs and she was having a world warp of her own. Most of my trip I think I enjoyed thanks to her enthusiasm. Jispa is as enthused about a earthworm as she is enthused about a tiger, or even the Taj. She merely reflects your enthusiasm. She is game for almost anything. This set up the next halt of the Bharatpur bird park quite nicely. Here we really enjoyed the place. I would recommend it as a must visit for any one. The rains have not been good and the bird life it seems is severly reduced but it was still way beyond what one could imagine. A guide is a must take. Without him you can notice 90% of the birds and he help you identify them. The rickshawwala claims to bw enough but don’t let that fool you. We tried both, the guide wins hands up. We took cycles and drove Jispa double seat for the whole day. A full seven hours. By the end of the trip we were naming the birds ourselves. Jispa could name a few herself. I am going there again. For sure! There we stayed at the Birder’s Inn. Nice clean place. Value for money. But only annoying tendency is to lay out a compulsory buffet (outrageously priced at 250 a head) when he has multiple groups. Really irritating especially if you are a vegetarian. But hell. Still a nice clean place. After a few years of five star corporate travel my wife chides me for being too soft for the rigors of backpacking. Well, I redeemed myself! My point all along has been clear. I want clean rooms, clean toilets, clean sheets and a responsive staff. That’s all! As for the Taj Mahal that we went visting. All I can say that somehow its beauty has grown on me a bit. I am seeing it for the third time. It’s a tad overrated. I think the Abu Delwara na deras might be much better. But hell it more amazing to see the tons and tons of tourists at the Taj! Wow, I have seen so many tourists anywhere.
All in all. Full time pass and paisa vasool vacation. Jispa has been a cute fun loving and an obedient kid. She is amazing in her ability to mimic your enthusiasm or lack of it as well. I think she just likes to stay together. The touring, the seeing is just incidental.