When was the last time you spoke to yourself?

Experience is important. That is saying the obvious but having an insatiable curiosity with a deep urge to relate seemingly disparate experiences or incidents at every possible instance – that is what magnifies experience. I think I said much more than I can chew. But simply speaking…

Yesterday Jispa and I were trying to get her Hindi elocution right and she was saying it in her style. I told her, that’s how second grade students say it. They try and emphasis every third word. It’s like a jerky dance move. You don’t need to space out every third word or line with a space followed by an emphasis. You need to sing it, or say it in a way that it sounds straight but vary your tone to get your emphasis. Let it be a one smooth flow but the variation will allow for the emotion to get through. I explained to her while dancing and by singing and by humming. What is it that you like?

Now where did I get that theory from? I also did not know I had it in my brain till I explained it to Jispa and it did sound quite right. Then I asked Jasmine if I made sense. And then I asked her “you know where I got this from?” I realized that the genesis of this theory was in a Ted video I once saw of Benjamin Zander. Here he explains how kids while learning the piano first start by giving an impulse every note then every second and … till he reaches a point where there is only one impulse and he.. he becomes a one buttock player. Haha. Yes that’s what he says. See this video and you will love it. This is explained within the first four minutes of the video.

Benjamin Zander on Ted – the transformative power of classical music

What I loved is that I had seen this video years ago and I could relate what he saying to some other thing in life. You need a lot of experiences in life. A lot of exposures. All exposure is good. That’s what I love about my field. It thrives on multiple exposures and application of these exposures in varied places. Like when designing a motif I could explain how many horns does an Indian rhino have or using the ghariyal in another. Or using the ending of the movie Parinda to explain to the creative guy why his ending will be difficult but critical to the entire design, or some other vague stuff.

These days, as if there isn’t enough to do, I have gotten myself elected as a subcommittee member with the Matunga gymkhana swimming department. As a part of that I thought we should design t shirts and amongst other things I saw the logo. On the logo were the words in Sanskrit - Sharira maatram khalu dharma sadhanam. Which lead me to research what it means? Simplistically it meant that the Body is an instrument to fulfill your dharma.

“Any acharas (customs and rituals) which can contribute to better health fall under this category of acharas. It is told that sareeram adhyam khalu dharma sadhanam. Body is the first tool for performing the dharma. Hence health is very important factor for maintaining a dharmic life.”

Now what can I write on the tshirt. “dharma” can also be interpreted as religion as opposed to the path of righteousness, which led to me further research on what the hell is Dharma? If I need to simplify I need to be clear. It led me to more research. Amongst a lot I found nuggets of wisdom like:

“How the acharas used to get refined? It is said that acharyaath paadam aadatthey paadam sishya swamedhaya paadam sa brahmachaaribhya sesham kalakramena cha. One quarter of the acharas is to be learned from the teacher and one quarter by the student himself, one quarter by discussing with others and the last part during the process of living ( by addition, deletion, modification and correction).”

I agree. As a teacher I can only give you so much. Max one fourth. Then it is up to us to push our learnings. Discussion with others and the process of living teaches us 50% of what we know. I don’t meet to many people with whom I can discuss stuff similar to what I like but I find tons of people with whom I can discuss stuff that they like. Together they add up. And the biggest teacher is life itself. Hmm… this stuff is pretty cool.

Then I got this nugget:

“Is it compulsory that every Hindu should follow these acharas ?  It is left to his/her discretion whether to practice or not to do so. It is said that Swagrame pooranmacharas anya graame thadarkhakam pattane tu thath paadam yaatre balaath acharatheth. If you are living in your own village, follow all the acharas. If you are living in other villages, follow one half of the acharas. And if you are in a city /town one quarter of the acharas are to be practiced. But in en tour, acharas need not be followed like a child.”

This is also true and it sounded a lot like what my dad once told me. At the early stage of his career he was in London for a year. I was conceived there. And later for a large part of my childhood we stayed in Dubai. He said – when you are in a foreign country you have to be like them to enjoy that life. You have to follow their customs. Like in London you have to go to the pubs and enjoy your beer on Friday evening. That’s their culture and when you are there you have to be like them. My dad would have best understood what the Sanskrit was saying. He was raised in a small town in Gujarat and then moved to the city of Mumbai and then moved abroad and afterwards returned.

It’s true. There are rules in your life or broad principals you live by. A lot have been taught to you (yes yes in moral science class), a lot you have seen around you being followed and lot you have seen broken around you. What is important is what you learn and interpret from all that is available to you. Nothing is sacrosanct. There are no dogmas. Like another cliché ‘believe noting, question everything’. Follow your own path. A good teacher can only open your mind to a way or a style of thinking. A good student builds his life and his thinking on top of that.

That’s what I like about marketing. There are so many instances where I can take one learning and apply it elsewhere. That’s possibly what I love about teaching nd that’s possibly why I love parenting. See… writing this blog help me realized this. You don’t even need to discuss with someone to learn more. You can learn more by simply talking to yourself. When was the last time you spoke to yourself?

zen in the art of mopping

The humble mop. This is the secret to a happily married life. Believe it.

My maid has taken a month off. She has gone to her village to get her son married off. Basically there are two important things she does, washes and then keeps the vessels in place, and then brooms and mops the floor. So in her absence the pressure is on us to do the same.

I think in the middle I had gotten into a negative frame of mind at home. I probably refused to see the work at home and I would possibly not help out as much, possibly I was tired or pre occupied, or just plain blind. But I never saw the work and now in hindsight I agree that I was not much of a help. This time around I was determined to be a better spouse around the house.

I think in the middle I had an unjustifiably large ego about myself. I thought I was helpful and did a lot of work. But I had gotten into a bit of pride doing it, which I now see and realize. So I picked up one thing on doing while reaching home. THE MOP.

Normally I would have hated mopping the floor. The way the maid does it by bending over and using a swatch is impossible for corporate backs like ours. But with the introduction of our house to this brilliant mop has made mopping very simple. This is a lovely magic mop. You just wet it, then squeeze it with the handle provided and start mopping the floor. I love going in lines, tile by tile and cleaning the floor.  The floor then becomes squeaky clean.

I think that’s the secret of my new found happiness. I don’t mind mopping the floor. The clean floor acts like a beautiful feedback. Keep mopping and keep seeing a clean floor. I was explaining to Jispa that while one cleans the floor one must do even a simple activity like this with pride and not miss a single spot. Tile by tile you cover the entire house and keep it spotless. I told Jasmine “you know what, I really don’t mind doing this.” And then I thought a while and rephrased. “I don’t mind doing this if I had the money to have a maid to do this. I would definitely not be happy mopping the floor if I did not have the money to hire a maid for this”. Jasmine and I had a good laugh on this. It’s probably true. There are a lot of things we really don’t mind doing or even possibly enjoy, but they are really fun doing if you do them by choice and are not forced into doing it. Don’t we all humans essentially want choice?

Talking about choice, I read an interesting book “the art of choosing” by Shreena Iyengar. One of the points she makes is that while choice what we seem to crave for, too much choice can be bewildering to the point of paralysis. She ran a famous experiment where she presented shoppers with a variety of jams to taste and followed with discount coupons for redemption. The findings were clear - The higher the variety offered, the lesser was the redemption rate.  She also says that while we don’t want that much choice, many cultures don’t even care for choice. Possibly Asian cultures defer to higher authority and want the choice to be made for them. You are the smart guy with all the authority, you should know better than me on these choices.

Listen to her TED talk here

It’s a very profound learning I have had. NOT ALL PEOPLE WANT CHOICE. I have struggled with some of the members in my team. No matter how much autonomy you give or force upon them, they would like to defer to you for your decision. At first I thought they were merely scared to make the choice. Now I think otherwise. They are just not trained or mentally tuned to make choice. You being the boss must choose. They probably see deferment of decision as a weakness. Why can’t you choose if you are the boss? Or your choice is obviously the right one, why should I change my world view. I think once I changed my view on this issue, I got a lot less worked up by this lack of decision making. I tackled it as a cultural issue and not as a personality issue. It’s been much easier then. I can handle this much better, and I can direct much better. My exasperation levels have surely gone down. And yes, possibly I have become a better husband, father, friend and an easier human being to relate to. Possibly… but then again…

tied in knots about tying a knot

Dam. I remember being very late on learning how to tie a shoe lace. My mom used to tie for me and then in case they ever untied I would get them tied by a friend. I don’t know how long it lasted but I think I was an ignoramus till the second standard or thereabout. Finally I got it. But life was never so simple. The dam laces I tied always became untied. Every time I would be bending over and tying laces. While at school with the black shoes or the white canvas shoes. While playing cricket with my sport shoes, while running or while walking. My laces would always come untied. I tried tying them differently or got someone else to tie them for me. Sometimes someone else’s hand would work and sometimes it wouldn’t. The laces were a perennial problem. They were a problem even on the formal shoes. Who ever heard of formal shoes untying?
Life was a complete bore. So in spite of like the formal laced shoes I bought a few of the non laced variety. In the middle I found it cool to roam around with shoes laces so lose that you needn’t tie them. Of course you can’t really run with them or jump with them but for normal urban lifestyle I figured tying laces were an unnecessary chore best left undone. You just keep them loose enough for them not to get to trip yourself and let them just stay there.
But underlying I knew there was a way to tie them in a way that they don’t untie that easily. Should I tie them tight, should I tie them loose, should I tie them in a double knot (which made them difficult to open), should I tie them the other way. What on earth must I do? I thought only I was jinxed. Possibly I ran in a certain way, possibly I walked in a certain way; possibly I was just a specially gifted child.
All my life’s frustration came to an end on seeing this most amazing three minute video. It changed my life. I knew there was a secret. It only did not reveal itself to me till now. I normally now don’t have too much time for a daily ted video on my RSS feed but this time around I just happen to glimpse it instead of pushing the mark all as read button and voila I see destiny, oops, the video in front of me. A three minute, that’s it, three minutes, a three minute video on tying your shoelaces right. A simple trick. It also solved an ancillary problem. I always thought the tied shoelaces, did not look right. They looked straight along the north south axis and not the lovely bow along the east west axis. This solved that as well. And to think I missed it. A simple trick I missed it. I put the right bow first, I put the left bow first, tight, loose everything, but I missed a simple trick. Arghh, dam.
But fret not. I am now enlightened. As Jispa was asking, what is the meaning of the book title ‘if you see Buddha on the road, kill him’. I told her it was about being enlightened internally. She knows that Buddha is not the name of a person; it is an idea, an enlightenment. I explained that the title talks about knowing what to do and what to think, and that these answers come from within. You might get a teacher but the final path and the decision is yours. It is your mind and your thoughts. You are responsible for them. The Buddha is in you.
But here I found it in a simple humble three minute Ted video. Have a look. Who knows what small thing might just be enough to change your life.

opposites can be true

Another way to look at opposites reconciling is to know that whatever you think is the truth, the opposite might also be true. To this here is an extremely short video (2min) from ted.com. Have fun. Hope it explains my blog title a bit.

Inspirational irreverence

v-inu wouldn’t care two hoots about commenting directly on blog but is a regular reader. He reads almost everything but gets tuned off when I chatter philosophically or moralistically or any other callys.

Here is a video he sent for Jispa



The lyrics are as under
An Effervescing Elephant
with tiny eyes and great big trunk
once whispered to the tiny ear
the ear of one inferior
that by next June he'd die, oh yeah!
because the tiger would roam.
The little one said: "Oh my goodness I must stay at home!
and every time I hear a growl
I'll know the tiger's on the prowl
and I'll be really safe, you know
the elephant he told me so."
Everyone was nervy, oh yeah!
and the message was spread
to zebra, mongoose, and the dirty hippopotamus who wallowed in the mud and chewed his spicy hippo-plankton food and tended to ignore the word preferring to survey a herd of stupid water bison, oh yeah!
And all the jungle took fright,
and ran around for all the day and the night but all in vain, because, you see, the tiger came and said: "Who me?!
You know, I wouldn't hurt not one of you.
I'd much prefer something to chew
and you're all to scant." oh yeah!
He ate the Elephant

He also writes that “This is by Syd Barrett - one of the founders of Pink Floyd. Teachers wouldn't exactly prefer him as a role model for a kid.”

Well I guess so, but she can take all the inspiration she can get.

PS: she seems to be doing well with Lester for the elocution competition but I guess its not as funny as the original Crocodile's toothache. This one has a limited set of emotions and does not allow for sharp contrasts. Am I making sense? Atleast to me ... I think.

While we are on the topic, I would rate the above equally inspirational for Jispa as this link here http://www.ted.com/talks/pranav_mistry_the_thrilling_potential_of_sixthsense_technology.html

inspiration

Some times, many times one comes across people who are inspirational by who they are and what they do… not by their need to inspire you. It is not set out as an intended consequence of their action. It inspiring to see them working against the odds just to make it work. They could choose not to but they choose to… they choose to see all the shit around them and say.. ok.. lets make this work.

The first one is my teacher from college Prof Hasina. She is associated with the commerce department. Since I keep going to college for teaching I have remained in touch with her. She is now the head of commerce association and I love the way she is pushing the association to do new events and programs. She could have decided not to do it and say commerce is a university course, what could we do? But I love her passion and her commitment to the job and she is ready to make things happen.
Prof Saxena was another such person who ran the BMS course when it was introduced. She made sure it rocked, brought direction, vision and execution to the course. Dynamic. Absolute dynamic.

Over the years I have seen that such teachers are slowly not coming in to teach anymore. I guess they join the corporate world. The new breed of teachers instills no confidence.

Here is another gem of a story of William Kamkwamba who decided against the grain to do something. He started not by trying to inspire but to do something. He dropped out of school due to a failed crop, went to a library and somehow figured out how to make a windmill and made it. Crazy considering he did not really understand the English inside the library books that well. Simple to him. An amazing story for everyone else.
BTW his mom thought he was crazy!
Now queues of people line up outside his home to charge their mobile phones.

Listen to his story; it’s only 5 minutes long…
He wants people to listen to his story on the internet and in his words “trust yourself and belief, whatever happened… don’t give it up”

mirror mirror on the wall... show the guy who screwed it up all

Well… Jispa had her Hinid exam and it was all the easy words. No eravat and no charan. Some aaloos instead. All’s well that aaloos well I guess.

This is an interesting video that I came across today morning. Elizabeth gilbert gives an interesting talk about how to deal with the genius in your life. I guess a lot of it would make imminent sense to the Indian who has been fed this dose of karma ever since he was born. As rationals as we have grown up, we have felt disillusionment with the rituals of worship and hence Jasmine and me have been vary and have taught Jispa not to believe in them. But at the same time we realize that spirituality is baby we do not want to lose with the bath water.

Thinking about this talk I realized that I too have a defense mechanism. My mechanism keeps finding fault in whatever good that I have done. Keep trying to improve it for the next time, keep attributing it to good fortune; reminding myself that a 1 percent probability only means that …1 percent probability. That one instance can happen now, can happen again and could probably occur five times in a row. The probability law only will help you realize that you are now probably good for the next five hundred occurrences. I keep telling my reportees that being good is not an option and don’t really expect to be praised. It’s your job to be good. You get a salary. Its par for the course. Going outside and exceeding expectations, giving people what they did not know possible or more importantly what you did not know possible is what counts. “to act that each tomorrow finds us further than today”. I learnt this from my god Dharen Chadha. He never taught me this but I learnt it alright. Eklavya anyone?

There is another interesting theory of the level five leaders. There many attributes but one that strikes me is of the window and the mirror. “The Level 5 leaders looked out of the window to credit others for success and looked in the mirror to apportion responsibility when things didn't go to plan”. Click here for original Jim Collins article.

try em, dry em

Economic slowdown does throw up some funny insights into human behavior. Let me explain one such… the admin fellows were set upon cost cutting in all possible ways. One of the holy cows that they decided was not so holy was tissues in the bathroom. Well the tissue rolls nest to the pot were definitely holy cow but the paper napkins next to the basin were obvious manifestations of sin. So precise excel sheet calculations showed that these alone cost the company more than 3 lakhs a year. Off they go. The gloomy external environment ensured the silence. And the dam hairdryer was there since inception in case you wanted to dry your hands.
I for now was completely for it. I grew up without it and I though it was a colossal waste. The hand dryer was there and so was the humble roomal (napkin) in your pocket. Didn’t your mother ensure you always went with one? It was pinned to your shirt in kindergarten, so that you don’t lick your runny nose outflows. Whenever I saw the dustbin full of used crumpled tissues, I felt that the culture had gotten a bit too far. Especially when people use more tissues when one should be enough.
So there, in place of the tissue dispenser, there remained two screws as a mute testimony to what had been.
But here is the interesting part. I now see people in front of the dryer…well.. drying. Nothing interesting till you see what they are drying – it’s the humble napkin that their momma (or wife) put in their pockets! I assume they wash their hands, take out the napkin, wipe their hands and then hold out the napkin in front of the dryer and dry their napkins. It is true. If only my cell camera worked I would shown you the picture. And this is not an isolated incident. I have seen multiple people so this. Stand in front of the dryer for some time (they dry that fast) holding them by the edges, turning the dam thing over. I wonder what this would have done to the electricity bill, though! Its fun to watch them. What must be the reason for this behavior? Would an economist theorize?

On another note when was the last time an ad made you get goose bumps?
Watch this one…



I dont about you but I felt something

let no one tell you...

My blackberry camera has gone on the blink and I do feel quite handicapped without it. Its so much fun to spot something, capture and blog it. But I guess I will have to do something else till such time.
But the of the loss of the camera is replaced by the joy of discovering something awesome. http://www.ted.com/ . It is an awesome site where they put up talks of some amazing people for viewing. The best part is that talks are timed for about 16 minutes forcing people to talk on only what is absolutely relevant and important. It’s just about the time that human brain can focus.
Today I came across (serendipitous) a talk by Ben Saunders. I just love experts talking about their … err…“expertise”. Sports persons especially so. I guess it’s the visible triumph of human achievement. Cracking the genetic code might be of greater consequence or difficulty but a sports person’s achievement has more empathy as we all have felt our own limitations at our arena.
Coming back to Ben Saunders. In 2004, Ben Saunders became the youngest person ever to ski solo to the North Pole. An absolute triumph of human achievement. But the most striking part about the talk is the last bit when he talks about his school report card as a 13 year old. The report card is a telling on the understanding our education system. He says he has framed it and it lies on his wall. It says:

"Ben lacks sufficient impetus to achieve anything worthwhile"

Ben’s response to it:

“No one else is the authority on you potential. You are the only who decides how far you go and what you are capable of”

Well said Ben. Well said.

his talk...

further Ben reading...