no 'more coffee'

Coffee increases heart rate I think. The research if iffy but  most of tem seem to agree that there is some effect there. Yesterday I had coffee day. One coffee in the morning and then some more in the evening. Th evening coffee was a potent brew.

We were out of fresh coffee so I remembered one shop selling tea and coffee open during the lockdown. I guess they are essential activities for most. Coffee and tea. I went there only to find that he was telling me that the coffee is all over and they are getting no fresh stock. He asked me to try in a few days. While I was walking back home, suddenly I could get a strong smell of coffee. I stopped in my tracks and was wondering where it came from. I couldn’t see any shop open. Just then I saw a few meters ahead, hidden, a small shop selling coffee. Part of the chain of shops called Phillip tea and coffee, this guy was grinding fresh bean. Wow.

I went up and asked. He was grinding his top bean called the highlander at 700 bucks a kilo. I took a kg of his stuff and went home. This smelt potent. I mad ethe coffee in the traditional filter and had it in the evening. That is the last time I am having coffee as strong as that when I have nothing much to do. In a few hours I felt my heart rate just go up a bit. Nothing alarming but I now wanted something to do.

I couldn’t walk around; I couldn’t read anything – I was just sitting there, and my mind was racing. In these difficult times, the only thing I was thinking about was, how screwed we were with Covid. I could only think that the worl dis going to run into chaos and anarchy and that we will all be out of job. Luckily over the years I know when I am getting negative. I can see myself doing it.

Immediately I tried to snap out of it. First thing – admit to myself I am negative; then admit to Jasmine I am negative. Then think through – A ha – it’s probably the coffee and nothing to channelize the thinking and time and energy. Acceptance is important.

Negative zones are difficult zones. Its not easy. Years ago, I remember my brother helping me realise negative zones. There was a friend of his who would talk negative all the time. And we would make fun of it. He would invite him over and purposely start a conversation. Then when he left we would laugh like crazy. I have learnt not to be like that. And more importantly avoid people like that.

When my friends talk negative, I try and run away from them. I try and stop them from being too bitter or too negative a zone. Sometimes I too get there. You can’t avoid slippages. What you can is acknowledge them. Try and understand where they come from. For me Covid is a genuine crisis. Its too big and large to disappear. For the first time in humankind and economics, there had been a disruption/ displacement of labour, capital and Land (I substitute land for physical elements of the supply chain). All three are disrupted and people have left consumption.

It is probably great for the environment but as economics 101 goes, we are up shit creek. Maybe we will come back from it. May be there will be price to be paid and sacrifices taken. May be some will be more affected than most others. Maybe we will all come out of it better and stronger. Or we come out of it just slightly bruised. But my learnings and thinking and what I know – I don’t think so. I think the probabilities are stacked against us as a race. The disruption will be large as I see it.

I think I am strong enough to survive. I think I am bold enough to take challenges head on. I think we have saved enough to manage tough times. When I sit back and think – nah – I think I get by. At worst it will be tough, but I think with my thinking and clarity – we should be able to make it through.

The challenge is not the external circumstances. The challenge is internal. If I am negative before the shit hits, then I am lost. When it hits, I must be positive. I must face it and navigate. One reason I have not given away any of my old books is so that if there is ever a situation where I don’t have enough money – I will reread all of them. Its funny but that I how I think.

I like being prepared for the worst. I normally think the tough decisions in my life quietly and only open my mouth when I am in a better frame. Typically, I like to imagine worst case situation. When stress levels go up, I only think – worst case, what is the worst that can happen. I try and think of that, then I imagine how I will react. Then I imagine if I would be ok (I am always ok) and then its good. Now go to sleep.

When I wake up, I am happy, positive and able to take on the shit that the world throws me. I am sure more stuff that’s bad will happen to me. It will happen to all of us. I can only hope that I am prepared and more important positive in the light of this. I want to die a happy man not an irritating senile man who is pissed with the world. The point of life is happiness, not crankiness and definitely not negativity.

Understanding this about myself is one of the greatest gifts I feel I have. Being able ot know, I am angry, being able to see I am negative and that I want to do something about it. I would have loved to be a positive at all times person but that would mean that there is no difference between me and an optimistic Bambi. Ups and downs are part of life – you can only choose your reaction to it. Choose well. You have to live with it.

invention of inventions

Jispa has to write an essay on the greatest invention of mankind. I guess the idea here is that this is going to be such a  widespread contest that the best bet would be to think completely out of the box. I asked Jispa what she thought would be the greatest invention of man. She said it would be the light bulb. Then I asked her to think further. She thought about – fire, wheel etc. when prodded further she even mentioned air conditioning as an option. I think this is her mother’s side of the family gene showing up. AC!? But its ok, I asked her to think further. I spoke to her about great stuff like, the printing press (Guttenberg) or the internet. She spoke about newspapers and others. We also spoke about democracy.

I then explained that in my mind the greatest invention is possibly a philosophical one – the invention of the rights of man after the French revolution in 1789. The concept that all men are born free and shall remain free, equal in the eye of law and are free to do what they choose (limitless) as long as they don’t harm anyone else or take away other people’s rights. This to my mind was a fundamental concept that allowed men to have freedom of speech, thought and action. This is such a simple concept that is so critical in our thinking and for what we take for granted. Democracy, free speech, ability to hold property and various different concepts that we hold dear and for granted come from this simple declaration. It also inspired millions others to think similarly. It seems this was a work that took forward the American declaration.

It contains such simple stuff like as - all persons are held innocent until they shall have been declared guilty; Law is the expression of the general will; Liberty consists in the freedom to do everything which injures no one else; The free communication of ideas and opinions is one of the most precious of the rights of man. Every citizen may, accordingly, speak, write, and print with freedom, but shall be responsible for such abuses of this freedom as shall be defined by law.

Everything that we take for granted was not so as man progressed. I would even think that the reason that man has progressed in the last 200 odd years at this rapid pace is because it essentially democratized speech thought and action. I find these lines extremely powerful ‘liberty consists of in the freedom to do everything’. It is so amazing. Instead of telling what man could do, it simply gave man the right to do everything. It frees man to think on anything. It only restricts a few things. I think this is such a valuable lesson that we as parents or as bosses must take up.

In office we have things like KRA’s – key result areas. These define things that I must do. they in many ways limit my role and responsibility to do things that ensure I get my monthly pay check and that I am rewarded for it. just imagine if a KRA said – you are free to do anything that doesn’t harm the organization. Of course it’s unthinkable. As a parent also it’s unthinkable. Can I tell Jispa you are free to do what you want to do? Everything is allowed unless its expressly forbidden. As I read this charter again and again in a bid to explain it to Jispa I am forced to thin further and internalize it. as ai write about it , I am forced to think about it. It is so important to teach and write about what you think and learn. That is the only way to study! The right way to study. SO I am thinking of how I must  translate this charter for my child or for my office. Everything is allowed unless expressly forbidden. I think here my dad’s formula was right. till you are in tenth standard you will be told what to do and to study. After that you are on your own. No pressure no compulsion. I remember he would not want to interfere till Mom would really egg him to. You are man after you are 15 and then on you are free! Completely free as long as you don’t harm anyone else.

That is so bloody interesting. I hope I am able to keep Jispa free after 15. I hope to release Jispa from the clutches of her parents and the envelope of their warmth and love.

At eth end I was telling Jispa you must close your essay with something like – this was the framework that allowed man to think, in essence it was an invention of inventions. She looks at me and then asks me “you are saying that for drama, nah?” Yes sure. Nice drama nah? But yes since it allowed men to invent stuff and laid the bedrock of free thought – it is basically the invention of inventions!

Bonus video – somebody was asking me why I thought the Mendeleev’s periodic table was so sexy. I researched this stuff and I found this lovely video. You will love it.