Jisap talk plus some more random thought

Jispa did just fine in school. Yesterday she did not cry in the bus or at the school. I guess she just was crying as she fell before boarding the bus and that set her off a bit. Now all is ok. She went today in the bus happily and willingly. Good for her. Good for me. The new bus stop is giving me even more time to spend with her in the morning. We have to cross the road and I prefer using the foot over bridge. More quality time.. yahoo….so I guess I am enjoying the drop offs.

Its fun to talk stuff with Jispa these days. She figures out quite a bit and is really funny on some stuff. I have spoken before about the ten Ganapatis that are near her bed and are protecting her. The other day she told me that 16 gods are protecting her. I was like “ya? How come?” she then counted the ten Ganapatis, one night lamp with a god image on it, three of Buddha from the images formed by the spines of the Buddha series on the book shelf. That’s 14. one of the Ganapaties has an arm broken and is lying next to the Ganapati; that’s another God for her. So we have 15. Then she points to the Bob the Builder figurine next to the Ganapaties. I protest saying that’s no god. But she replies “but he is protecting me, no?” “err, yup that he is”. So that makes a grand total of 16 Gods. Now she is not scared to sleep alone. Whatever!

Once she pointed out to an ox and she was telling us about the udder underneath. My wife corrected her saying that was not the udder. So what is it? oops, well, errr, that’s the pee pee of the ox. I was driving and I decided to keep to my self…… better to concentrate on the driving I say.

I just finished off a huge bar of rich dark raspberry chocolate over two days in office. I had sent my junior on an official trip to Paris and that was one of the goodies that came back. Its such a great thing that I am the only one in the department who likes dark bitter chocolate. No body else wanted it and I loved it!!!! hehehehehehe (evil smirk)

Travelogue 70% complete….. yes yes… I am working on it yaar.

All appraisals over… mine, my bacha log, my normal boss, my dotted line boss (different types of boss a la condoms. After normal and dotted I want to see ribbed, scented flavoured, extra protection bosses. What say?)

Random SMS sent to me by a dear friend: If life was like a walnut….I’d be a squirrell :-)

random musings on day one

I don’t know. Just started my week in a terrific edgy mood. I am ready to bite the hand off someone who pisses me off, and ready to hug someone the rest of the world. Fuck man, I am really edgy today. This is in continuation of yesterdays mood. Basically, I am just so tired with being patient with shit that I have lost all energy for shit. I can now just kick hard irrespective of consequences. Not a nice mood to be in but sometimes these moods gets more work done. Just hope not too many people cross my path. After all these years and moving up shitcreek in corporate ladder life has changed soo much. My attitude and tolerance for mediocrity, crap and unwanted nonsense has changed. I was telling someone the other day that I might decide not to play politics and not hurt someone through foul play and hitting below the belt but that does not mean I am a chutia. I will get back if you try and hit me uselessly. I will not proactively hurt the other guy but, I refuse to take shit flung at my face. How simply we define our lives. Lets see today, I hope not to be too abrasive to too many people. But some just have it coming for them, just have it coming. Its just interesting to see two moods coming in together at the same time. Opposites reconciling.

Today was Jispa’s first day at her new school. She cried a bit in the bus, not wanting to go. Today her mommy and me were both present. Tomorrow it going to be only me. Daddy will have to keep a stone on his heart and use all the resources that he has at his disposal to patav her to go without crying. One will have to be extra cautious and extra smart on this one. Will let you guys know what happened.

its really tough for a dad (especially me) to send Jispa crying to school. Even more when Jasmine is there. I want to comfort her and talk to her and when the bus comes in there is time only for one parent not two, and I take a back seat. This is such a 'so not easy' thing to do.

how bored can i be in office?

restart

Sighhhh. Finally I get some time. I have been on leave the whole of last week. So no comp no blogs and no mails. I was busy the whole morning trying to figure out the optimum way to answer 200 plus mails. It was simple actually. Just start by deleting. Then by forwarding and then by delegating and lastly action. Spending time with family. Lots of fun. i just had too much leave left over in the year and decided that its really stupid to let all lapse. Better to use it up I say. So one week, no office. I even switched off the cell for a few days, read a book and relaxed. We went to a quaint little resort just off in the beach town of Manori. Jispa loved the place, the hammocks and the beach outside. Nice clean and cheap resort. I relaxed, built sand castles, bummed on the beach and stuff. There is so much to write but I can hardly clean my mind though.

As I was writing my travelogue the other day I decided to stitch the photos I had taken though the panoramic mode. Interesting results. You say. You will see people cut but then that’s becoz people move all the time. these are around 270 degrees.

kuch bhi ho raha hai

India might be seeing the highest incidence of heart disease in the world, but this is I think stretching it. I was at a cinema hall yesterday called Chitra. Chitra is a nice renovated cinema, which is not a multiplex. The ticket prices at 85 bucks are half of those of a multiplex. Pretty rational pricing. I somehow cannot bear the multiplex pricing. My favorite line on this is that multiplex’s have killed the black marketer as at their ticket price levels they are ones selling in black in any case. What will the poor black marketer do? Ya, so we sat in waiting for the movie ‘Honeymoon Travels’ to start. An advertisement slide speared that made me jump off the seat. It was of a Hospital ( I think Balajee heart hospital) whose specialty was heart treatment, namely angioplasty, angiography and bypass. What really took the cake was that the prices of each of these were prominently put on the slide as well with the bypass tipping the scales at 99,000. When did people start choosing bypass on cost basis? Interesting. Is it now become a commodity that the only differentiator is price, that one puts it upfront on the ad like Big Bazaar? Very funny. Imagine a heart hospital ad sandwiched between Gangar optics and the trailer of the next sex comedy…. The other interesting thing is choice of media.. a cinema hall? Not a multiplex but a single screen hall in middle class mumbai (dadar)? I can just visualize the fat obese consumer munching his pop corn (highly buttered of course) and watching the ad. Chomp Chomp. Can you pass the chips please?

On the movie … I don’t know what to say. I liked it. Nice and candy floss. Boman is fun as always. Lot of random things happen. Just sit back and enjoy the jokes. No take aways.

arm chair economics

Keynesian economics is pretty simple. Increase in supply reduces price and increase in demand puts upward pressure on price and vice versa. I have long been a quasi capitalist in that sense. I have believed that the market forces will make most things work and that town planning, zoning etc etc must think about market forces. Today while I was doing some random thinking about taxi stands I figured something that apparently contradicts market forces.

I hate taking the taxi at the arrivals at mumbai airport. With the airport being in the process of a getting a facelift, the taxi stand is better managed than it was before. There are no shortages of taxis at any point at the taxi stand, at any time of the day or night. There are tons of taxis in a line. In fact when the airport was being renovated the airport authorities had a smallish run in with the taxi union on parking space for the taxis. The Airport wanted fewer taxis to be parked than currently. Talking to the taxi drivers one realizes that there are clearly a glut of taxis waiting at the airport. In fact the taxis at the airport are specialists and run only from eth airport to wherever you want and they run back as soon as possible and get into the line again. In a shift of 12 hours the general consensus is that the taxi gets around two to a maximum of four passengers. Giving that the waiting time is large the average taxi can’t really get along with short fares and normal fares. So they normally doctor the meters to show a higher fare. And invariably after they realize I am a local and a regular (in other words I know the fare), they ask to pay whatever I think is right. Obviously hoping for a little more. The ricks are also the same. In fact I am still a good 150 bucks from the airport. The guys who stay very close to the airport have a tough time trying to persuade the cabs to get him home. If you actually analyze the situation, simplistically, there is upward pressure on fares due to a glut of supply. Here over supply and the resultant longer waiting lines create a contradiction of supply actually increasing the price. So theoretically if we were to regulate the number of taxis (the hand outside of the market forces) and reduce the number and therefore waiting time, we would actually get the price pressure down in this situation. Reduction in supply reduces prices here to an optimum number, till a point after which the prices would again go up due to shortage. These are some queer v shaped curves in operation here. There are obvious holes in the economic theory where in other forces must be constant and fair, like doctoring fares and taxi meter pricing and not free market forces pricing etc etc… the same logic I would also like to apply to prepaid taxis which generally charge a premium over the normal fares. If there are a large number of taxis then prepaid taxis must get cheaper, therefore resulting in lesser taxis and therefore lesser waiting time for the taxis and therefore higher return on time for the taxis that are actually ready to go at cheaper fares. That optimum number is obviously elusive but can be scientifically brought down to a range that can shift during the day depending on the study of load conditions. So the interfering hand in market forces is actually a good thing.

There are lessons to be learnt everyday…..

getting things done

Writing everyday is not so easy. what the hell am I to have as an insight that I can hope to pass on to some one or the other. I try to refrain from doing simple cut pastes. I hate quoting entire lengths of paragraphs or entire songs… so sometimes I am just lost what to write. Sometimes its just the discipline of sitting down and writing something, anything. Words flow and so does the topic build up. Sometimes I set out to write something but end up writing about something else all together. I wonder how come I have so many things in my head. Itna sara bhusa bhara kahan se? Bhagwan jaane.

Any free time I get these days is more spent trying to get my travelogue done. Which is easier said than done. The bloody thing just keeps on going on and on and on. I cant get around to cutting it short and is taking an obscene amount of time. I am flowing back and forth between things related nad unrelated. But its fun doing that. I hope when it finally comes out, it should be something that I should be proud of. I am lucky enough to capture a lot of photographs as well. They add real texture and help explain what I would have never been able to with words. Quite a nice experience. I am not so sure how I would be able to write more besides the travelogue. This alone should be enough to keep my writing keedas suitably busy and suitably tired.

I have done the performance appraisals with my team. These are all marathon sessions, each anywhere between two to three hours per person. This is after all a once in a year thing and they at least deserve all the time that they get. This is the time to air grievances. While I might be an ok guy to get appraised from, I am notoriously difficult to appraise. It all depends on my mood at the time. At times I get very docile and disinterested, like the last time around. I was not even interested in the marks my boss gave me. Dena hai toh de, nahin toh mut de. And the year before that I was almost on a war path fighting out every point and mark cut or made. Man, these things can get very very volatile. End of the day its all on my mood. Most of the time I think my attitude in office has been that I will do my job better than you expect, just don’t get in my way. Don’t ask too many questions, just tell me what you want. I almost forgot how I behave till someone pointed that out to me. He called me something like the inner child or some jargon like that. One of the things that you learn over a period of time is to execute relentlessly. There is no substitute for mindless and excellent execution. There are times in middle where you might need to pause for strategy, but most of the time, its simple relentless execution. Mind numbing pace, and always witin parameters. The way we believe we bargain, we normally get the best rate for most of what we do. We try and lower costs every year. As my colleague once caught on to what I said and repeated it till it became folklore ‘inflation is in the minds of the seller’. There is always lower costs, Always. I don’t know where my streak comes from. I was always aggressive. With age I have learned ot channel it right. Channel it internal. Channel it towards the goal.

While reviewing my kids told me that sometimes I push like mad, I drive them crazy and I follow up like mad. I transfer pressure like crazy at times. At the same time they appreciate it and believe that I make them do better. I found this funny at first and not so while thinking again, because I thought I was always the easy going types, and I was not the tough guy. I might not be the stereotyped tough guy, but I realize, that I can push on what I think is priority. I hope I don’t push people too hard and drive them over the edge. I think over a period of time I have gained by alter egos which I can call upon in times of need. This also is self analysis. I don’t know how right it is. People working under me will realize.

One thing is for sure, I have changed over the course of the last three years and am able to push myself and my subordinates like no man’s business. I have been fair and tough at appraisals, whereas earlier I used to be more benign. God knows how I have changed, what has happened. Is it for the good or is it for the worse. As a good friend who knows me from the year 2000, once told me ‘Jaimit, the innocence is now lost from your face. You have hardened and it’s showing on your face’. I did not know if that was a good thing or bad, but I know it was the truth. :)

For all I recommend a book called “execution – the discipline of getting things done” by Larry Bossidy and Ram Charan. If you just internalize the title 20 % of your life will be better. I don’t think I would have had the maturity to read and understand the same 4 years back and at the same breath I must add that I would like to re read the same after 10 years to clearly understand what more its trying to say. But basically get things done bozo. Get things done. It really left an impact on me. Whether it reinforced what I knew or whether it taught me something new, I have no clue. But a mark is there for all to see.

Old friends and triple win

Now let’s see. An old B school friend of yours is coming to your office and she (operative word SHE) is going to drop by and say hi to you as well. What do you do. Well for one, wear nice formals. The ones that make you look important. second…. CLEAN YOUR DESK. You got to look cool, uncluttered and important. hahahhaha. Ya ok, Sonali did drop by the office. She is as smart as she was 8 years ago, and by her own description, svelte. But doing all that just for her…Nahhhhh,…. Ok ok ok ok. I admit, I did clean my desk. But it needed cleaning in any case. It was long overdue. Can a catalyst be defined as a cause. I argue, as not. Your honour, I am innocent, set me freeeeeeeee.

Kya bakwas likh raha hun?

In continuation of my win win win experiments with other hapless victims. I took a cab today from my house to the station. Yesterday I took a cab home from office and it cost be around 160 bucks. While going to the station I asked him if he would go all the way to office at Nariman point for a 100. He said it would be around 130 and you could give 10 15 bucks less. So we agreed at 120. Now it was interesting to see the decisions he takes as regards the route. Some places he took the shortest route and some places he took a small detour but saved time. He maximized his time and money equation in a unique manner. It was very interesting. This way I got the best time money route to take my self in case I am driving in.
Another case was my regular taxi guy who was charging me 40 bucks everyday to get me to Jispa’s bus stop where I dropped her off and take a train to office. Now Jispa’s school going will start only in a months and a half’s time, so I asked him to come in at 7.45 or 8 am. But he already was booked at the time with someone who was going to Mazagaon every day at 7.45. So I suggested that I share some part of the journey with him. He loved the idea. Now for him the best option would be to charge be slightly less than normal, the other guy gets a discount as well, and he must be better off than what he normally would have got by a small margin. So if we assume its 100 bucks to Mazagoan and 40 bucks to Wadala. Then he should charge me 30 and the other dude 90 and therefore the taxi makes 120 versus 100 he would have got. WIN WIN WIN. Lets see what does he do.

when fooled, turn the tables

I have a firend whose nick is Goripari. She had sent me an SMS in February to keep my 29th free, as she was on the quiz show KBC and wanted to phone me on the phone a friend option. I ‘the sucker’ fell for it. This is how I weaseled my way out of the situation. I am quite cheap, I say. Following is the Google talk conversation.

goripari: I had send the msg to every one in my friends list.....not only u
jaimit: good...
cause you will realise that those who keep their 29th free will be your good friends and the rest not so
BTW , my 29th is not free
goripari: ha ha ha
jaimit: i will be very busy
goripari: :)
jaimit: so how many good friends do you have?
goripari: 3 of them called me up immediately to congratulate me ...among them one was Smita kapoor......
jaimit: hmmmmmm
goripari: after that they realised that feb has 28 days
jaimit: seee... people are so happy for you that they forget basic common sense and feel genuinely happy. these are the people who will not realise fact because happiness overwhelms them.
they are the ones who fell genuinely happy for you
they are your friends
goripari: right u are
jaimit: happiness is an emotion that come first to them, common sense later
interesting thesis?
think... again
goripari: yes very interesting....
jaimit: so who is the fool? The person playing the joke or the person on whom it is played out?
hahahhahaha
goripari: ha ha ha ha ha
jaimit: the person who cares for you or the person who cares not for the person who cares for you
who is the bigger fool
goripari: u proved its me :)
jaimit: you decide
i prove nothing
only make you think. :)
PS: nice to know i am on your friends list
goripari: ok...will definitely think over it and let you know :)
jaimit: hahahahhaahahah
dont bother tooo much
but small experiments make interesting anthropological deductions
goripari: :)
jaimit: go now, run along. You know your friends now
goripari: yes.....
jaimit: run

Ms Ray teaches us all

Sometimes by chance one meets the most amazing people. The other day when I was in Kolkata I took some time out to meet a certain Ms Ray. Ms. Ray and I first spoke on the phone when I was hunting for a book. I could not find my favorite parenting book “10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting” at home. I went hammer and tongs at all the sites searching for the same and finally called a number given at the Oxford store site. Ray picked up the call and has since then given the best possible service over phone and mail. Over a few years I figured that she is easily one of the most prompt and efficient people that I would have interacted with. While I was using her as a customer service person I saw the designation say Content Editor. I kept wondering why this brilliant content editor was taking my calls and mail. In Kolkata when I finally confronted her, she told me that she is a literature student and therefore a content editor by profession, but being in a startup kind of environment; she was handling everything and tried her best to help anyone with a query. Now some time back I had read a book called ‘positively outrageous service’ by Scott Gross. Scott’s point was that some people are naturally great at service and others not so. Some people will feel empathy naturally and some are just not it. So while interviewing it’s just smarter to separate the grain from the chaff. Ray clearly falls into the natural empathy person. I believe that the natural empathy person is the one that is required for all service led organizations. So companies in financial services, all front offices, hospitality, anything. In fact in marketing I firmly believe that the naturals will be the one who will succeed in the long run. They are ones who will feel strongly and naturally for the customers. They are ones who will never screw the customers and will make their needs and wants their own. They are the ones who will believe that service is a must, the consequences may follow. These people in any organization must be preserved and nurtured. They spread the culture by just being there, acting out their true nature. Hmmmmm. If tomorrow’s competition will be on service then the differentiator will be culture. And culture will remain in the hearts and souls of people. So dear company / division, how do you figure out what your soul is? And once you know it, can you really change it? Influence it? Can you nature enough Ms Rays(can you recognize them) in your midst to spread their postivity? Hmmmmmm.

grammar swatter

Yesterday I bought a mosquito electrocuter. It’s quite a funny contraption that is shaped like baby tennis racquet, with an electric current running through the middle. You just have to whack the mosquito and presto you have an ace. I tried it yesrday and it makes a funny crackling sound as it passes the death sentence on the poor insect. I normally don’t like killing insects but, mosquitoes and small cockroaches are an exception. More so mosquitoes. I hate them and have no qualms at all about slapping them dead in mid flight. But when you electrocute one with this it feels real bad. I just think I have to get used to it; basically the sound of the mosquito being cooked. Uuughhh….

They sell these things by the dozens at the VT subway. Then keep hitting the racquet against some green plastic fur kind of Christmas decorations. The racquets makes quite a racket, with the crackling sounds coming form the four guys trying to out noise the others in an effort to sell it. As with most, I think the guy who figured how to market the product made more money than the guy who probably invented it. The funniest thing about the racquet is actually the instructions. Let me reproduce the same without permissions. They sound funny but that’s exactly what they write… As I always said, fact is many times stranger than fiction.

Main Character:
Rechargeable Type: It furnishes 2 pcs of 1.2 V high quality rechargeable batteries which can by recharged in recycle for more than 600 times. It is quite practical and economic.
Twice speed discharge: it adopts an innovative twice speed discharge circuit which can output 2500V in a moment. So, it has the best result for result forhitting mosquito.
Electric Shockproof Net: It can kill mosquito which is sucking on human bodies but it is harmless to human. when touching the net on flat surface, without any feeling of electric shock so, it is safe for use.
Leakproof net: It consists on a special 3-layer net which can easily catch insect and never leakout

Directions:
When charging, please use AC 100-240V,50HZ power source.
Before using, please charge the batteries for 8-15 hours. They can be recharged in recycle for 600 times.
When hitting insect, you can easily kill them by just pressing it’s switch.
When the indicator twinkle,it indicate that batteries run out. Then the swatter should be recharged for 8-15 hours

Warning:
For more safety,do not press the switch or touch the ourface of the net when swatter is in charge.
Please do not finger the medium-layer net.
Please shake swatter for cleaning off the insect carcasses which remain in net. Be sure don’t wash it with water,so as to avoid shortcircuit.
The swatter may become without high-voltage or in low-voltage conditions when it absorbe damp in wet weather,the effect will be declined.Then,it can be dried by blowing with electric blower or shining with sunshine. The effect will be recovered soon.
Children must instruce under adult when use it.


Now my dear friend Vinu, who normally splits his hair over my refusal to check anything before posting will find this crazy.. heheheheheh. This was piece was tough to write and all of this is a fact and not a piece of imagination. Check the picture provided.


font of thefly swatter
back of the swatter with the brilliant instructions.

yin and yang halo

There are times when one is confused and times when the entire thing looks clear. I have had time and opportunity to think a bit during my weekend trip to Kolkatta. I have always loved the Yin and Yang philosophy. The opposite reconcile theory is also a derivative of the same. After Kolkata I am so much clearer in my mind as to why I love it. I know more about it today than I knew a couple of days back. And I feel enlightened. You might just get to see a halo around me. I want to get a Yin Tang tattoo done on my left forearm. I want it to constantly remind me of the beauty of the philosophy as I understand it.
One requires the other to be defined. While they are opposites but are not in conflict. See it from above and all seem to be one. Shit is necessary in your life, it defines what ‘not shit’ is.
Like most good philosophies, less is better. The more situations one philosophy can describe or relate to the better it is. Simpler is better.

There is so much I have in my mind but I can’t write it. But as of today I am so confident about it. Here is something from the Wikipedia about it.


Everything can be described as both Yin and Yang.
1. Yin and Yang do not exclude each other.
Everything has its opposite: although this is never absolute - only relative. No one thing is completely Yin or completely Yang. Each contains the seed of its opposite. For example, winter can turn into summer; "what goes up, must come down".
2. Yin and Yang are interdependent.
One cannot exist without the other. For example, day cannot exist without night. Light cannot exist without darkness. Death cannot exist without life.
3. Yin and Yang can be further subdivided into Yin and Yang.
Any Yin or Yang aspect can be further subdivided into Yin and Yang. For example, temperature can be seen as either hot or cold. However, hot can be further divided into warm or scorching; cold into cool or icy. Within each spectrum, there is a smaller spectrum; every beginning is a moment in time, and has a beginning and end, just as every hour has a beginning and end.
4. Yin and Yang consume and support each other.
Yin and Yang are usually held in balance: as one increases, the other decreases. However, imbalances can occur. There are four possible imbalances: excess Yin, excess Yang, Yin deficiency, and Yang deficiency. They can again be seen as a pair: by excess of Yin there is a Yang deficiency and vice versa. The imbalance is also a relative factor: the excess of Yang "forces" Yin to be more "concentrated".
5. Yin and Yang can transform into one another.
At a particular stage, Yin can transform into Yang and vice versa. For example, night changes into day; warmth cools; life changes to death. However this transformation is relative too. Night and day coexist on Earth at the same time when shown from space.
6. Part of Yin is in Yang and part of Yang is in Yin.
The dots in each serve:
as a reminder that there are always traces of one in the other. For example, there is always light within the dark (e.g., the stars at night); these qualities are never completely one or the other.
as a reminder that absolute extreme side transforms instantly into the opposite, or that the labels Yin and Yang are conditioned by an observer's point of view. For example, the hardest stone is easiest to break. This can show that absolute discrimination between the two is artificial.
7. Forces regain balance with yin-yang curves
Look at curves, where one thing is resolved with another. Our own bodies possess plenty of yin-yang curves, as do the bodies of all other organisms. Yin-yang curves can be internal (part of the physique) or external (part of the trajectory of motion). Select and adapt with curvature.

appraisal crap

I have rarely felt so much pressure at appraisal time. It’s hardly my appraisal that I am worried about. Actually not at all. It is the appraisal that I have to do for my kids that keeps me awake. How do I balance it? How do I be fair to them and the company and to myself? How do I set the standard? My personal standard might be higher but the general standards might be lower.
It really keeps me quite occupied. I am forming opinions every second as the D day comes closer. I will have to let go some of what I hold close. They will have to go through their rite of passage. They will have to evolve. Sometimes I have no clue how they would but will have to trust them to swim. They will learn only by falling. I will have ot let them fail and not hold that against them. But at the appraisal, isn’t it my duty to hold them accountable. I must do what is good for the organization in the long run. After all purely going by responsibility, I must think long term. Long term. What is needed three years down the line? How do I balance my own requirements and progress with those of the kids? How do we move in sync? I am not so worried and insecure about my self; that is something I left behind long ago, but my worry is how do I take them along with me for the long run without hurting them.
Thoda sa toh girne de

Let them fall a bit,
Only by falling will they learn,
Learn they will to rise,
High above and well beyond
I wish them all the very best
And look with eager eyes
You may not spread my name
But you will spread the style
A style that I have in some small way
Hope to put inside
Inside your brains and in your soul
To touch you in many ways
And hope that you will someday
Reap all that I meant to grow
Grow grow grow

panch ka do ya do ka paanch

In one of the Raj Kapoor movies he goes to the city and meets a banana seller. She is selling five bananas at two annas. Raj Kapoor pretending to bargain offers five annas for two bananas instead. (I don’t remember the exact numbers but the message is right). The banana seller refuses and Raj Kapoor pretends to walk away. She then figures the maths and calls him back. Our hero smiles and says, maousi, I haven’t a penny. She offers him the bananas free. And so the friendship began. Cute story. I think the movie was Shree 420 or Awara. One of those. Why am I remembering this story?
Yesterday while going home I felt a bit hungry. I stopped at the nearby tapri selling sing-chana and sukha bhel. Now I didn’t want to eat too much at the risk of filling my tummy and screwing up dinner. So I ask him, sukha bhel kitne ka? He tells me five bucks. I ask him if he could go lower and he firmly refused. NAHIN!... ok ok… I reply…paach ka de toh. Then I figured that I really did not want that much, so I tell him char rupiya ka de par panch lena. He say, “ Nahin, Sirf paanch ka milega”. I shout back, “yeda, tu pura rupiya paanch lena, par char rupiya ka hi maal dalna, mujhe kum khana hai.” I explain I don’t want to waste it. hmmmm. The bulb somewhere in his mind lit, but I don’t think completely. He was wondering if I had gone mad. He then made some, asking me if the quantity was enough. I paid him five and left. A win-win situation.
It set me thinking. Suppose if I had complicated it a bit. If I had offered him four bucks but only asked him to give me three rupees worth, what would he have done? He pay off would have been greater with a higher profit margin, I would have spent lower absolute amount of money, I would have been happy with the quantity and of course my wife would be happy that I would not waste her dinner that she prepared. What would he have done? In Mumbai the biggest cost is always real estate and must be so also for the roadside guy, after all he pays the hafta to the local goon, the BMC and the rest. It has to be a significant chunk of the cost. So given that his biggest cost is fixed he MUST try to maximize his margins.
So if I had complicated it further by offering him a choice, telling him, either give me four rupees worth at five bucks or three rupees worth at four, what would he have chosen? And if I had further given him an option to of two rupees worth at three bucks, what would he have done? As the amount grows smaller his payoffs would keep on increasing but he would be compromising his five rupee barrier. The five rupee barrier I assume is to distinguish him from the lowly sing-chana vendor and pitch him at the higher value add business of sukha bhel and higher through puts. But by increasing his margin we have him at a fix. So in effect I am keeping the one rupee premium for lower absolutes in addition to the margin that he makes on the bhel. If the premium is fixed and the margin as a percentage is intact then he must theoretically jump at the lowest offer.
I want to try this with him some day and see what he does. Doe she just ask me to fuck off or does he look at me as if I am mad or does he take the worst offer. How would his mind work, would it be rational and take the lowest offer or would it be irrational and tell me to buzz off, or would be a mumbaikar mind and assume that I am taking his case. Interesting thing this mind game might be.
Sanjeev my sister’s hubby has an interesting tale to tell. He once ordered Dahi Idli at one of the lovely south Indian joints at Kings Circle, but he loved the dahi more than the idly. So asked for more dahi. Sorry we don’t serve dahi, was the answer. Oh ok…. Ok then get me dahi idly without the idli, we will pay full price…. No.. we serve it only with the idli. Ok… then get me dahi idli with the dahi and the idli in separate dishes without mixing the two. NO… this is the only way we serve it. Oh bother…..Fact is sometimes stranger than fiction.
This should be a decent indicator of what the sing-chana vendor is likely to do, faced with the option. No wonder economics has changed since we first learnt about the rational mind and the brilliant supply and demand intersecting. This is also an example of when one can charge a premium and have the customer pay it. Finally it depends on the type of need being fulfilled. That is where the intersection changes up or down.
Bus kar yaar…. Too many economics books have gone into my head. What empty blabber. Ab mein khud pak raha hun. Will try it once on some vendor and let you know his reaction. Hehehhehehe.

Pappa pass ho gaya

We were trying for jispa’s admissions in a pretty decent school. Billed by some as the best in mumbai. The first test involves the child being interviewed by the school and a bunch of questions to be answered by the parents. Jispa passed the first test. The second round involved an interview with the parents. Now this would have been quite a thing if we had failed. Jispa could then theoretically say that she had passed but we failed. Shit man. That too for the school admission test. SO Jispa… now we have passed. Papa pass ho gay, papa pass ho gaya…. Now if you don’t make Jispa it’s YOUR fault bozo. I got you the admission; I pay the fees, ab tumhare havale watan sathiyon.

I forgot me cell phone at home today. No wonder I am getting my work done in office efficiently. No idiot disturbing me while I am doing something else, or talking to my bachas or whatever. Wow, I wish I forget my cell phone more often. Let me see how many missed calls I would have got today. Very very cool thing to happen to you. I recommend the same to every one. Do forget it once in a while, it is good for your health and importantly sanity.

more experiences

In a retail environment, why should you bother about how clean your warehouse should be? After all the customer does not walk in and will never in the ordinary course of action see your warehouse. I under stand basic cleanliness to be followed but really how clean must it be? Well. I had written about Hypercity sometime back. How I loved buying from the shop and lovely retail experience but absolutely shitty follow up. My bed was not in stock, it came late. They sent a damaged bed, then sent the proper one etc etc etc… they expected me to be in the house that I had not even occupied for the whole day waiting for the bed, as they could give me a range of time in which the bed would come. All that was fine. The bed finally arrived neatly wrapped up in small corrugated boxes. The horror was that the boxes were dirty and dusty (courtesy the warehouse) and had a few cockroaches on it. Now if we are shifting to a new house the last thing I would want is a cockroach. Imagine what I would be thinking about the cockroach coming in from Hypercity. What kind of warehouse would they be using? So now I am thinking, does their food warehouse suck as bad. So they have armies of cockroaches there as well? Hmmm.. The experience is always end to end. One must take care of the same from the very beginning till the very end. The last time I put a post on it, a very sweet lady contacted me from their PR agency Ipan – Shaila Pais. Poor thing tried to understand the problem and promised to solve it. I don’t think she could do much. I guess the problem is form within or from the top. One must care about the customer as a part of culture not some random mission statement. But at least she called. At least she had a simple thing such as a blog alert and she responded to it. A couple of days back I posted something about Café Coffee Day with a picture of their employee sleeping on the sofa without his shirt. No contact from the company. What am I thinking dude? What am I, the customer, thinking?

be my valentine

Hmmmm. Today is Valentine’s day. Its been around 15 years now that I have been ‘officially’ going around with Jasmine. We officially started going around on 3rd Feb 1992. wow… that’s a looong time. I dunno how valentine’s day isthese days in college. In my days liberalization just started and Valentine’s day was picking up. It rapidly gained significance as we passed the years. Cards were big time in fashion. Every one who was any one was giving each other cards. People proposing to each other on Valentine’s day. Oh bother… why wait for a special day. When you fell like just go ahead and say it. That’s what I did. I remember distinctly that fluorescent colors had made their entry as hep and happening colors. So all the cards had fluorescent covers. The chicks used to get a lot of cards from their suitors. For some reason the chick believed that the guys were all smucks and I saw so many cards being torn in front of the poor boys proposing. Man that broke my heart. The poor kid had mustered all the courage and said what his heart spoke. I remember how my heart pounded when I first spoke to Jasmine. She handled it very well. Why cant chicks be like that these days. The other chicks with lots of cards couldn’t dare take them all home. The college was littered all over with small bits of yellow and green fluorescent papers, bearing mute testimony to the hidden or unrequited loves. The street beggars also would figure that love is in the air and would make their two pennies selling roses.
I wonder what my good friend Vinu used to do on Valentine’s day. He was always above this ‘girl thing’ and ‘love thing’. He probably just saw all this tamasha and must have got even more pissed off. It didn’t take much to piss him off. He was the angry young man always. Hmmm. Why don’t I remember his reactions? Funny.
Today morning I reminded my wife that we have had 15 years of togetherness. We hugged and we just smiled. After 15 years it doesn’t take any words to talk to each other. We just know. Today kids have options like I am going around but not committed, I may or may not marry, I am just going around, I broke up with the guy etc. I have never understood that and probably never will. Jasmine and me were together for keeps from the very first moment. Breaking up was not an option. Not marrying was not an option. So I never had to propose marriage. It was a given. Funny thing it sounds like now.

Helll… pink and red is the color of the season. We have been asked to wear that today. They have decorated the entrance to the office with red and blue sashes. They miss the point. Putting a heart and some chocolates on every desk might do the trick, a simple satin ribbon here and there might build better mood. Three card to all for them to distribute in office to some one they appreciate might be better valentine. But hell. Go on.. something is better than nothing. Make my day. I am wearing a red checks shirt today, where are the lovely Valentine’s? Bring them on.. I am waiting!

picture dekh

Kutte ki tarah travel aur kaam kar raha hun. I as usual have bitten off more than I could chew and resultant loss of time to write my own blog is quite depressing. But fear not, I am back in action. I have had hardly any time these days, to do what I want to do. My travelogue sis also suffering. There I have written till I reach Allahabad and the journey of word has stopped. I WILL COMPLETE THE FREAKING THING> AND WILL DO IT SOON! I PROMISE, by the masters of the universe… tanannananananna. Whatever.

I was dying to see a English movie. Any English movie will do. And I also promised that I will see it in a normal big theatre ( read not a multiplex), so we go to Regal Theatre and see the only movie that suits our time ‘The holiday’. Kafi timepass picture hai. Full Candy floss, heart shaped chocolate kinda movie. Uuuuuu. Cho Chweet shit. But very very bearable with a few smiles thrown in. Diaz is cute, but I figure she is aging and it shows on her eyes. Why do actress’s in Hollywood typically come into lime light at 30 / 35 and then try to age gracefully. Indian movies like them younger… ya so, jasmine and me enter Regalt o the familiar smell of ….. well ‘Regal’. It just smells different and the same after all these years. We have seen so many movies here. In the old days the big cinema halls were Regal, Sterling, Eros, New Empire and some times New Excelsior. No multiplexes were constructed then. The ticket price when I first saw a movie with friends and not mom and dad was Rs 7 for the stalls at Regal. The movie I think was Project X or Project A. It was a Jackie Chan fight buster. I still remember the movie and the Jackie Chan slow mo stunt replays. Very very happening. We took a tenner from dad. 3 bucks was the kings circle – VT return fare. One way was 2 bucks and if you take a return ticket you got a discount of a buck. We then walked from VT to Regal and back. No money for frivolous expense like pop corn and Simba Chips. We were in a socialistic economy you see. Now the bloody multiplexes charge 150 for a ticket. SO I was feeling quite proud to see this one for 70 bucks in stalls. I was telling Jasmine that ‘ feels good nah, same old cinema, same old bucket seats, quite comfortable no, same old vinyl flooring, same old smell, and wow lovely leg room, large screens…’ nad she suddenly gets up. Shit. Now what? There was a nail in her seat. Oh come on, just a small nail. The money we save will buy another pair of jeans from Basu. Basu is the jeans maker from my college days. You go to his shop, choose your cloth, your fit and he customizes the jeans for you all for a pricley sum of 350 bucks. My wife loves it because of the fit. I get my cotton trousers from there. I love the guy as well. Coming back to the Regal. The poor helpful attendant drove the nail in with his torch and we saw happily ever after. I prefer the Regal experience to a multiplex. Call me old fashioned but I just love the good old theaters, reasonably priced. One thing I missed at Regal was the Softy ice cream cone. No such luck. But at least I got to eat my favorite salty caramel mix pop corn! Yipeee. I first ate the stuff from the guy inside Sterling.

bad dad, good dad

I am normally quite patient with Jispa. I can take n number of tantrums and normally scold her only to get her to listen. She has had this nasty habit of suddenly turning wild and angry without warning. If we sometimes try to do something like, remove her socks, choose her shirt etc (innocuous things), she will at random throw a fit, cry and scream. Absolutely random. I keep trying to tell her that I understand her crying if she tells us and we don’t listen to her, but we when we do listen or are talking to her she must not throw an ‘instant random’ fit. The other day we were at Jasmine’s mom’s place and we were going to the market. Jispa wanted to join us but was throwing fits left right and centre. I was patiently trying to explain, talk and getting her ready. I offered to make her wear the shoes which she agreed. While I was talking and making her wear her shoes, she threw a random fit screamed and kicked her legs. (Reason she wanted fasten the Velcro tighter) Her legs kicked my face and whack, I lost it and she got one across her cheek. The room fell silent. This happened on Saturday. The slap was with a soft hand and not a tight one, but I am sure she got a bit of pain. There was a mark on her cheeks for the next ten minutes. This was the first time I have ever hit her. Normally I only look at her or threaten to hit or just in rare times I raise my hand just to show dire consequences. I don’t believe in hitting a child too much. So this time my instinctive reaction made me feel miserable. As I was analyzing later, I felt a bit justified in slapping her. She would need to learn to first talk / ask before throwing fit. I have no problems with fits, I can ignore and live with fits, tantrums and the rest. But throwing one especially when I am listening and talking is just not acceptable. Was she too young to understand this? I don’t know. But evidence after slap goes to show that she got the point and is talking a lot more. And hell most of the time I accept what she says, to the point of me thinking that I might spoil her. So that’s the anatomy of the slap. A dad’s gotta do what a dad’s gotta do.
Also I realize that getting angry and scolding need not be a long drawn out affair. I immediately hug, talk sweetly and love her seconds after our fight. I believe in high impact when required and quick reversals post that. No point nagging and prolonging fights. Get point across and carry on.

experiences CCD

I think the blog can be a great place to share some consumer experiences. Today let stalk about a really bad one at Café Coffee day. I started lecturing again at Jai Hind, so I was exiting VT station at 8.08 am and was running towards Churchgate for Jai Hind. I was pretty sleepy so I decided to get a coffee at the CCD at VT. I was glad to see it open. I enter to see one of the employees sleeping on the couch. Thank you to the inventor of the cell phone camera. See the photo below. Bloody hell, he was sleeping without his shirt on.

Someone has to tell CCD that you get the bloody café up but it requires some effort to keep the ambience going. After all people are not paying 35 bucks for a 5 ruppee coffee. They are paying for the whole experience. But the ordeal does not stop there. I ask for a take away. The hero makes it and gives it to me, but with one crucial element missing. ‘Sir there is no lid’. What the fuck. No lid for a take away. And you tell me after the coffee is made and after I am made to wait for 5 minutes. 5 minutes are an eternity on the morning where the world is rushing to everywhere. He then figures and says ‘ but I can put foil on it’. huh… ok just give it with the foil then. He puts the foil and a rubber band. Really crude. And I rush off. I make a small hole for the coffee. I have to drink it right? The foil tears more than required. While walking I spill a little on the lovely formal pin stripped shirt and really get pissed in the morning. Bloody pain. I should be suing them for like a million bucks. But I guess these service chains will get to their own demise very soon. I don’t need to bother with what will eventually die out. Yes it’s a prediction. CCD will die a death very soon. Its ok to start a chain but it tuff to keep the level of service and quality day after day across all outlets. Obviously they do not really invest in training, upkeep and maintenance. I don’t think they figured this out yet. Good luck to them.