stress busters are so silly

How does one maintain a consistent mood, average or thought process through out the day, day in and day out, month after month, year after year? It is so bloody painful. Some times a series of shit happens and one is left feeling sad and down. Its increasing difficult to avoid the swings but thank fully its not as bad as it sounds. In negative swings I would typically be a little more circumspect and a little withdrawn. I also bounce back by doing things that give me pleasure and good news. So my worry is not the bounce but the questions that can one have a consistent behavior. Can I somehow convince myself to keep a steady mood and not be swung by the temporary emotions? How does one achieve this steady state? And this steady state has to be true to the inners of oneself else or else maintaining a state that is not consistent inwards and outwards would only mean more and more stress. Stress is something I seek to consistently avoid and skip. Not that life will not throw you stress. Stress is in its management. I learnt over millions of years to manage it better, handle it better, slide it off better. But sometimes it just becomes a little difficult. I think most of the difficulty will come from uncertainty. Not being sure, or being in dilemma’s is what causes the severity. I have learnt to handle shit, but am still learning to handle the undertainity. Slowly but surely it getting better. That’s why I am not so bothered by its depth but more by its mere presence. Sometimes the stress is accentuated by recognizing it as thus and therefore creating more of it by worrying more about it. Crazy but true. Not recognizing leads to more stress, recognizing leads to more stress. Only finally achieving solutions relieves it.
The biggest toll is actually eustress. The good stress that you have before a match. The stress that pushes you to perform. Today most of the stress is eustress.the tsress that you seemingly want to take as it improves your performance, keeps you on your toes and is essential. In times of plenty as I see now we are in, the biggest killer will be eustress. By itself in isolation it might be good, but the ability to manage many isolated instances of eustress might be something of a problem. How many flanks can you open? In bad times you close all and focus on the big problem. In really bad times lot more bad flanks open but can be many a times traced to one underlying problem. In times of plenty many such good stress points get created, thus the ability to multi manage these and create cohesive driving force is tested. While it might not be as gloomy as it sounds but there is a warning there. I will learn, you will learn, we all learn someday. It’s the bloody interim that is difficult to control and manage. I think the key solution is to first reduce the intensity.

As I write I was talking to a friend whose nick is goripari. translated as white fairy. So generally was chatting about some work and I got inspired by her name and I wrote the silly poem for her….

Tell me oh white fairy
Which way is the dairy
Do we drink to our health
Or wait for our wealth
Any way the ganga flows
Taking water from the snows
Cleaning sins as it must
Creating boons from busts
What to do, how to live
Live we must, drink we must
Are the answers in the dairy
Tell me oh white fairy….

I must thank her for this … it suddenly put me in a rocking mood. Made me feel all nice and charged up. A little creativity goes a long way… even if it does not make any sense.

blind man's buff and father powers

I was at the international airport dropping off a cousin. I dropped them at the departure and went down to park the car. Now if you want to travel in lifts in mumbai airport then you better be blind. No no, there is nothing obscene about it but only the fact that all the numerals on the lift buttons have been erased. The only thing that’s left is the braille dots on the buttons. So what do you do? I guess Braille is pretty useless if you can see it ( you know what I mean). So the next smart things I to look real closely and press the button that’s worn out the most and hope in hell that that’s the right one and the right floor. Come to think of it from the car park I would not know what level is the departure area. So even if the buttons were there, I would still press the most used button to get to the right area. A-ha…. The power of the wisdom of crowds. Elementary Watson!

Also another thing I love doing is carrying around my daughter on my shoulders. It’s good fun. But also what amazes me is that how a father does not get so tired carrying his daughter. I like to carry her long distances this way. I was quite surprised that we went to Palitana, which is some few thousand steps up and then down. I carried her on my shoulders around 85% of the way. Without really getting tired. I sure it’s the mind thing. I also remember walking up and down and all around Matheran with her on me. Being a father is so wonderful in many ways and this tireless energy is just one of them. At the same time she can get soo tiresome :) this is how father hood reconciles opposites.

This is when not only her but also her friend decided that i was the beast of burden.

Also they figured that blinding me would be good thing to do.

christmas fun

Little things go a long way…. Office must be a fun place. We spend more time here than home. I have always believed that one should be able to do a lot more things to make the place livelier. What’s the point of being in a drab bloody place? Life is colorful. Everything must be colorful. What say? And if we in marketing, being the so called whacked ones can’t live up than might as well be in accounting. Sorry for the barb but I think the most boring people are in audit, accounts and administration. These guys take themselves and their jobs sooo seriously, it just worth the effort to ruffle a few feathers here and there. The key is to know a few skeletons that are likely to be in his closet as well know the rules very well. Becoz the guys so live by the rules if anything is slightly off it or beyond it, they are most likely to get confused. So I really enjoy riling them. Faltu kiddas I have on this. This is our Christmas celebrations in office. Its nice to get all the team together to celebrate Christmas. Its nice to have a Christmas tree, but its infinitely nicer to get them all to put it up together. KEY WORD HERE >> TOGETHER. Lots of offices have Christmas trees, but our team has one they all can be proud of. After all (from my earlier blog) “Pride matters more than money”.

letter to you.

Hey jippy. Some day you would read this blog and wonder, mera baap pagal tha. If he had to write something personal why did he choose something so open like a blog to write it. the point is that you are right. Teara baap pagal hai. ai!
I like the concept of open book. To tell a lot to a lot of people. I like to be more open than closed. I like more and more people to be aware of things in my brain and in my heart. The more people see what’s in the more they hopefully learn at my expense. Well its my bit of contribution to ‘world peace’. Ya sure. Well I duno. I just hope that some one some where is getting some little pleasure reading my blog. Sometimes reading even simple personal letters to you my dear. I love the relationship I have with you and I would love the world to know of it as well. And its not that the bloody blog has amassive readership in any case. I am not sure how many people you will meet in your life, that have read this blog. I certainly don’t think the number would be material. But the benefits of a public blog may be many. For one, since I know some friends read this as well, I try to have a little variety. Some random articles, some funny one, and some faltu fart (philosophy). And I sure hope you don’t grow up to be a pain and wonder what an ass of a baap you had, who told the world of the small silly, potentially embarrassing things that you did as a kid. Yaar, I think it’s kinda cute. But sorry if you feel bad about it. The risk is worth taking as I write. The flip side – no blog. And yes I sure sure hope that you find the blog some where worth your while. Full tragedy if you hate it. Even if you do, let me know fast enough. I hope to be writing this well into the future.
Hehehehe. And what else. I hope all is fine with you. Hopefully I am not dead by the time you are reading age for this. But then life is tough. Grind hard and dig hard. No body has it easy. Don’t take solace in other people’s miseries. Learn to have an internal locus of control. Take all what you can on your chest. Take blows and fight on. Don’t make the same error twice and use EVERY opportunity to learn. Every body , every thing teaches. Be smart. And above all – be nice.
I have been reading Satyagraha in South Africa. I cannot explain how bloody profound and brilliant Stayagraha is. The difficulty is in its simplicity. So simple and yet so bloddy difficult. I am trying to use some of its principles somewhere. Some blogs in the future would have some reference to it. Simply put – the truth shall set you free. FREE. What an outstanding feeling. The freedom glow from being above it all, the freedom glow of knowing more. The freedom glow of inner peace. The freedom glow.
Jyada ho gaya nah! Thoda tone down karna chaiye tha. But whattodo? Fart is also free!

principles

defination of principle - ethical standard: a standard of moral or ethical decision-making

Principles are cast in stone? Every person would have a certain set of principles. In fact not having principles is a principal in itself. I normally pride my self in having a set of reasonably set of strong principles. Normally they are not for compromise. Recently one got troubled and I almost moved. Then the moment of truth and back to normal. The moment of truth is one of the most exciting things to happen to someone. It proves faith in the system. The internal system that beats in and out all day long. It defines you. Its always nice to see that the system is tested and strengthened. If it is not tested it will become weak. Thank you wife, thank you god, thank you all. My system works and it’s not for sale. So screw you if you want to buy it. I decide and I stick by it!
That felt good. I don’t feel like writing anymore. This is too much for today. In fact this will stand for a looong time to come.

Jispa Art Mural

Jispa painted her first mural! I always wanted to paint on the walls. So the first thing I did when I got my own walls was allow Jispa to paint on it. I had a Saturday morning free with her and me alone. So we decided to have some fun. She got so excited when I let her know that she could paint a wall on her own. She was like “No sheet? hehehe”. Guess that’s what kids want. Just to do something that was till sometime anathema. So she freaked out on the paintings. In hindsight it looks quite cool. I guess we will do the entire wall and then the entire house. Full on!

See the pic below and see if you can decipher what my kid is painting. Look thru her eyes. Answers below.

1. A building with doors and a hole to see who is at the door. The zig zags are the steps.
2. Simple one – butterfly
3. hahaha bet you did not get this one – crayon
4. Boat
5. Another impossible one, clue lies in the color – grass (with a black outline)
6. Excellent remark – akin to the one her teacher makes on her books.
7. TV
8. Life cycle of a plant – the top of the plant is chopped off by the photo
9. Life cycle of a butterfly. Notice the caterpillar and pupae.
10. Boy in a fighting picture?!!??
11. Six point star.

Any one with a Freudian mind bent wanting to synthesis the same and give me clues on what she is likely to grow up into?

Nirvanic walks

Huffff… yesterday I was a bit later than usual coming into office. As I hit the bus stop I realized that I had only 100 rupee notes and no small change. wuu, whoz gonna argue with the conductor for a 5 re ticket. And listen to gaalis early in the morning… so I thought why not. Let’s walk. I used to walk into office two years back. I stopped when the winter ended. Yes yes… I know it’s just a notional winter in mumbai. It’s never really cold. But atleast you can manage to get to office without having a sweaty wet stinky shirt. I normally walk faster than most but yesterday I decided to slow my pace down a bit. A fair bit actually. I tried noticing the people, structures and other paraphernalia around. It’s interesting to see how people, a majority of them walk and run to office with their eyes looking down. With the city pavements you are always avoiding a hole here, a sewage there, a dog etc. And not to mention plenty and plenty of feet. So every one is walking with eyes down. I don’t even think beside the conversationalists anyone even looks at the heritage buildings. We fret and fume and spend so much agony over whats happening to our heritage. But the guys who work there everyday don’t even care a dam. I think the simpeast way to make people concerned about the heritage is to make them notice it. and the opnly way to make them notice is to get their eyes off the floor. The only way to get their eyes off the floor is to ensure smooth and predictable pathways. This way they walk with their eyes up and see around them. This way more men and women notice each other. The more they like each other, the more hey fall in love, and pronto… World Peace. Ok ok ok…you can’t get rid of Saddam by better pavements… but you sure can ensure beautiful facades. I don’t mind Iraq war as long as I can get a prettier surrounding that I can look at. What say?
Also slowing down walking is almost a nirvanic exercise by itself. You actually need to control your walk steps, breathe a bit, and relax. The world just seems different if you are slower than your normal. Try another stress buster. In the mad rush, just simply follow all traffic rules a s a pedestrian. Cross only at zebra crossings; walk only on pavements, cross only when the green man smiles at you. It is actually a big self control not to walk ahead when the teeming mass behind you is inching forward with a nervous pregnant energy, conquering space and redefining the road available for the car. But resist this force, and feel the energy flowing through. Wait on the footpath and start your cross of the chasm only when the signal turns and you will realize one outstanding fact as you are triumphantly crossing. The pedestrian crossing signal does not give you enough time to cross the road. It is built to discount the fact that you are already half way across. And you suddenly realize you only half way there when the green man disappears and the red man motions you to stop. You swivel right, all the share taxis that run amuck in the morning are aiming for you and you bloody run like mad across the 30% that is left, trying you best to look down so that you don’t trip, look up so that you don’t hit the opposite guy crossing and then building up into an almost flying trapeze jump across the gutter that is always placed at the corner and landing in the arms of the lady who is busy talking on her cell while getting to office (eyes down of course). She gives you the loveliest ugly stare and mental swear you could get in the morning. aha ha… what a nice day….nirvanic exercise was never so touching.

run buddy run, then eat

They all run... they allways do..

Jaagte rahooooooo….. all the old independence era movies would show the ubiquitous watchman trying to do his duty with his nightly calls. I guess today there is a slight variation. It has to be bhaagte rahoooo…. Only for a mega metro like mumbai will a obscure number like 738 make a significant amount of impact, in fact this number is not prayed to will ensure a late entry to office, a missed movie starting climax, a late date, and a possible firing. Many have their own numbers which they live by 642, 827, 956. some of us even have made the code more complex by making it alpha numerical, such as 926 BO, 745 C or 648 P. hmmm. The plot thickens. Because many times the 743 CST is followed by the 1 SPL or is preceded by the 142 or of course the alpha numerical 6 LTD. So the entire sequence is 730 5 LTD 755 CST 1 SPL. A complex piece of action orchestrated with clock work precision.

For the dim witted or the plain sleepy towners who haven’t caught it yet the code (730 5 LTD 755 CST 1 SPL) is broken as:- leave home at 7.30 am to catch the 5 limited bus to get down at the train station to catch the 7.55 Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus local to catch the 1 Special that takes them to Nariman Point. As I said Bhaagte Rahooooooooooooooo.
This two decimal point precision is further fine tuned if you catch the bloody train at CST station. Since the trains start there they have installed huge digital clocks that even show the seconds, so as you enter the station you know that you have exactly 36 seconds left to catch you train, or exactly 48 seconds to run to your compartment and find a place to rest your butt (not park it – seating is not that easy with 48 seconds left). You also know that you have potentially 55 seconds left if you want a plastic vacuum packed bag of peanuts. How? Well 48 seconds for the train to leave and another 7 seconds the boy take borrow as he can jump while the train is just about to leave the platform. Ooohhh. We live the razor’s edge… cool nah! Now all that I want to see is the train timetable showing the train leaving at 6.46.38 am.

While on the peanuts I have always wondered on the way the vendors pack the peanuts that are sold at the station. The nuts are naked and packed in plastic packets that seem to have air sucked out of them. Since we assume that this is not a multi million rupee investment on the plant and that the Nehruvian dream of small scale sector is at full play the only option is….. the guy rubs the dry peanuts with his palm, blows the husk away with the air from his mouth. Then blows inside the plastic to open it, puts the nuts inside and then seals it with the heating element. Now how does he achieve the vacuum? Hmm, the only way is by sucking the air manually before sealing it completely. We are not even on the topic of does the bloody thing gets dry in the first place. Also while on the topic it is interesting to note that thanks to the advent of AIDS, we have a lot of cases of TB among the lower strata of society. This TB is getting worse and s getting increasingly resistant to treatment. So much for a blow by blow account! Pretty cool, nah, how the promise of a 2 rupee peanut snack is so beautifully played out. YA.. Anybody hungry for a snack?

Eat India from delhi to bombay

Trains… lovely thing they are. I always like them and I loved traveling by them. But I guess the demand on time are soo much that I rarely use them these days. Flights are it. flights are so impersonal compared to trains, so bad and ugly. There is some romance left in trains, though I don’t get to see many PYT’s in trains at all.
I went to Delhi in a flight but I came back in train. What a smart decision. The Rajdhani is an awesome experience. They keep feeding you through out the journey. Starting with water, snacks, soups (yes sir with butter and bread sticks) and dinner, with sweet dahi and ice cream. And next day breakfast. Move over cricket, its eating that’s India’s number one entertainer. I could just see all the guys in the trains getting surprised at the platter and entertained purely on the eating. The gastronomical delights score over voyeuristic or even patriotic delights. I am convinced India is born to eat. The clarion call of today’s age is Eat India! Notice how when you go on a date you normally go to eat, when you go with family you eat, when you go to the movie you eat, when you play cricket you eat, when someone dies you eat, when someone marries you eat, on corporate meetings offsites, anything we eat. All this talk about eating is making me feel hungry now. EAT EAT EAT EAT. It is not by sheer co incidence that the longest running TV show in India is, yes sir, Khana Khazana.
Hmmm coming back to the train journey… its nice not to have too much crowd to interact with. I finished a lovely book start to end. It was ‘the making of Sholay – by Anupama Chopra.’ I always liked her writing before. She writes well and the book was a delightful easy read with lots of interesting trivia thrown. A must read for Sholay fans. Aren’t we all… very nice. I read in one flat 4 hour session. I don’t think I have ever read a book start to end without putting it down. This is the first one… I even was laughing in parts. I had to control or risk the train guys thinking me to be mad. Good fun. I suddenly rediscovered train journeys. Will have to somehow figure them in my vacations again. Forced long quality time with Jispa should be quite nice. Only thing is that I used to prefer non a/c, but given the bad hygiene in trains and family, I prefer the A/c. Its far more stress free. Non a/c can get to you at times I guess. I guess, life grows on you. I would want Jispa to back pack on non a/c but I guess it’s ok either ways. The principle being that don’t complain on the heat, dust, pollution, dirt etc. I have been thru much more in my life and I would want her to go thru a lot of it as well. But who knows when she grows up what will happen. I definitely don’t prefer a soft pink chick. But then that’s a dad’s point of view today. When she grows up I might just as well give her money to fly all over. Funny thing this parenting is. Kuch long term plan hi nahin karneka… full ulta ho jayega.

marry more, whack more

Been away for a couple of days and already got mail on why is the blog not being updated. Accha boost hai to my blog… thank you. Keep pushing, dear friends, I really love you guys.
Haan, toh I had been to Delhi to attend a friends wedding. It was a nice good punju wedding held on the open lawns. But man was it cold. Luckily I reached at 3 pm; and I was feeling really cold. It just scared me enough to buy one wool sweater as reinforcement for the evening. Yet I was freezing … next to the fireplace! The fireplace sittings can get interesting as your front feels nice and warm and your butt is frozen solid. So then you turn around and get what you always wanted in life – a really hot ass. And punju weddings get over at 2.45 in the morning. So it’s nice to enjoy the cold. The only thing that got me warm was when we wanted to wring the bloody shoes off the dhula. Let me tell you the entire story. The dhula’s shoes are always on great demand so he exchanged them with his best man. so after the ceremony the ladies wanted to get hold of them. So I simply suggested that they lanch a physical attack. So I got the guy, put him on the floor and well…. attacked. In the mayhem some other best men came to rescue which were effectively warded off by the women tickling. More best men came. In the free for all, the women started attacking me as I was attacking the shoes that they were also attacking, with them thinking that I was protecting what I was actually attacking… whew… so they were tickling me like crazy, but one slight problem… I don’t get tickled. So all I got was very very aggressive pokes. So after clearing the confusion I went about the task of getting the bloody shoes off… wow... wedding scan be fun. A good place to release all the frustration of traveling in crowded trains and office work. Just go to a few weddings and then whack the shit out of people either getting the shoes or protecting them. WOWIE>>> weddings are fun. No wonder I advise all my friends to get married fast. In fact if I enjoy this too much I will ask to get married more often!!!
And also I have no clue why they deck the bride so much. She looks lovely without the entire getup, then why the hell do they mess around, sooooo much. Well she still managed to look pretty inspite of it all and definitely not because it. So when she asked me how she looked. I gave her – you look pretty. But then that was the truth. The whole truth was – you look pretty, but you look prettier without the getup… but it was nice to see her get married. Always a cute thing to see girlfriends getting married.
And I rediscovered the joys of train travel…. More on that to follow...

Jintan and love for the morning

I found Jintan. Any one familiar with the pill? While shifting houses, akin to the ocean churn, one of the things thrown up was a sealed Jintan pack I had bought god knows when. It was good fun. Jintan was my dada’s favorite pocket mouth freshner. It was his standard remedy for me. I was never a great morning starter when I was a kid. I used to get morning sickness. Simply put early morning start on vacations in a car used to bring out the breakfast in me. So in go two Jintan’s in the hope of retaining breakfast (futile) and then in go two Jintan’s to feel better once the breakfast (usually milk) is bubbled out. So the taste of Jintan does remind me of the fond memories of travel with family. Feel funny in the morning, the memory of sticking your head outside the car and feeling the crisp morning air, keeping mouth open to dry, and the typical smell of Indian dhul – mitti. I like that. Its funny how despite being such a bad morning kid I still love and have lovely memories of the morning. I guess it’s because unlike my bro/sis who were busy sleeping and me busy puking. So in hindsight I guess puking was better to sleeping blissfully unaware of mornings, unaware of sunrise, unaware or nip, unaware of haze, unaware of beauty. I have remained a morning person since. I love sunrise, I love leaving before dawn and driving out to catch the sunrise. I guess in hindsight its no wonder I wake up early and am in office by 8.30. One hour before the din arrives. Also with the new house with lots of open spaces around I get to catch the sunrise while driving out (winter I guess). It’s lovely. I love it.
As my father in law like to say - "warning, dont miss the morning".

here is the view every morning as we drive westward.

compassion

While we get to see a lot of pretense we rarely get to see any amount of genuine compassion. We will see a lot of passion or I would like to call it misplaced aggression, but compassion is in short supply. I am always moved by acts of compassion but to incorporate genuine compassion is so difficult. It’s sometimes so funny to see a lot of people get so moved by dead cows, dead kitten and dead dogs etc on the road but would have no qualms eating it…. hahaha its so bloody funny. Compassion my ass….
No, don’t get me wrong here. I am nowhere near compassion as I would like to be. Or would dream to be. I guess many times I like the laws of nature to take their own course. I try not to interfere with it. Let not compassion interfere in what nature has held out. But ya, I try and help if I can. But to actually understand what compassion means is to meet two of the finest individuals god has produced. One – Prem Sundar Narayan, two Rajesh Shadevan. It is thanks to sheer luck that I have come in contact with these gentlemen. These two by sheer force of their nature have changed me in more ways than one. Their ability to touch, heal, change the very people they meet. Their ability to ---I don’t know how to put this ---- subjugate themselves and yet retain themselves is outstanding. Their greatness in their ability to rise without meaning to, or even wanting to. It is by no mean a co incidence that they the best – the very best – brand strategists I know of. For, to understand the brand one has to understand the consumer, and to understand the consumer it is important to have genuine compassion for him and genuine empathy. Only if you are able to feel genuinely will you make a great brand promise and great brand delivery. Which bloody B school / prof will explain compassion as a prerequisite for strategy? Only compassion will let you see beyond your own mind shit and your own preconceived notions of what the consumer wants, needs or feels. So much time is spent by kids trying to figure out brand strategy with a lot of shit and shat thrown in, but people doesn’t realize to be a great brand strategist one needs to be an outstanding human being. Care must be your core virtue for it to translate outward. CARE CONCERN AND COMPASSION. It’s no wonder we find worms and acid in things we eat. It no wonder people are increasingly fickle and disloyal about brand choice. We won’t dare change a doctor / nurse / teacher who is caring, then why would we change a cosmetic, soap, a gel, a food, a drink. We need more Gandhi’s in marketing, and we need more of them in strategy. Sometimes selfish goals can only be achieved by true selflessness. Opposites do reconcile.

hero again

I have written about the hero’s journey before…. I find it so fascinating. I see kids growing up, I see my office colleagues growing up, I see my kid growing up and I see myself growing up. They were just a blur of growth till I understood (in a little way) the journey of the hero. Instead of a blur it seems to be a series of steps leading up the path. Each step small or big shapes up and moulds us. Many of these steps are in the form of success and failures and many more are just break outs of independence or dependence (marrying for one). I have learnt to love to watch these steps in my life. It seems so lovely to see these steps leading to somewhere. The milestones getting planted in the psyche of journey. If viewed as such they seem so much fun. They give to me at least a lovely philosophical angle that makes me smile, that makes me resilient, that makes me believe in myself as a hero. The hero of the journey that I have to complete. It is so like the fantastical tale where the hero overcomes many odds to win the princess. Which reminds me of the story I once wrote for the college magazine. The story was a very simple fantasy tale with witches and dungeons thrown in. nothing separated the story form the Hans Christian Anderson tales Except for the ending. Here the hero in his last swish of the sword is about to slay the evil witch and chooses to forgive. I forget what really happens but in his act of forgiveness he resurrects someone something….. the editor of the magazine in all his wisdom edits the story and kills the witch and publishes it. What a cracko… I still feel so shitty about this. Why do we impose our own ideas and paradigms on the world. Why the fuck do we not let people be. We should just let people explore and form their own paradigms. Recast your own rules. Change is about making it happen. If it requires you to graft in and dig hard… so be it. But make it happen. Take your time, graft harder but make it happen. Bhen kiii… after all it’s your journey and your choice. Aaagggghhhhhhh…. What the hell… if you choose not to change the world, and flow with tide…. That’s also ok re… sab chalta hai life mein… itna bhi complex nahin na hai. Just get a rule that simplifies the entire life as you see it. the journey story works well for me. It simplifies the entire growing up and taking shit and happiness bit. That’s a large part of my life. Ma ki aa… itna variables hai ki at least the rule must be simple to see all in one lens.

poetry blogs, photo blogs

I was reading some random blogs today and caught my friend blogging. Quite a nice blog. I have linked her here without her permission. (I am not sure she will mind or not. But heck, it’s nice and on public domain) She clicks great pix too... hmmm, I always knew she was immensely talented, but somewhere I felt she is not using her strengths enough. Too much thinking can many ways be a bad thing. But hell, that’s not what I wanted to do. some blogs are lovely. I like the way she wrote. A lot of talking to her self almost great poetry. Similar to what quite a few blogs write. Some how I realize while I love that writing, I don’t quite write like that. I dunno! what is my style? I think it’s much like talking to other people than my self? Or is it talking to myself ‘my style’. One will only have to see.
I click a large number of photos, thanks to digital cameras; but for some reasons I only upload the ones I click on my phone – why do I do that? I dunno! But putting up some snaps might be interesting, I guess. They are not too bad as well.
The recent offsite at Shimla I clicked quite a few snaps and almost none of Shimla. I am quite bored of clicking scenery. I life people snaps, emotion snaps and ‘that moment’ snaps. Why? I dunno!
Lets see, let me upload a few. Also the big thing for me is that since a lot of my snaps are of people, I fell almost breach of privacy to upload them. Since I also click when they are not noticing – thanks to 12X optical zoom, I make it a point to first show them the snaps. Some real lovely snaps are therefore quite private. Hmmmmm. What to do? I dunno! I guess I will just start a new blog exclusive to photos.



Well at least there is one snap that I can show you guys. Jispa’s amazing drawing and imagination skills. Do try and guess what she has drawn -------------------------------------------------

it’s actually a snail with a cake on top with a cherry on top of the cake. You figure where is what. Also while we understand the cherry on the cake its up to you to figure out why is the snail carrying the cake. GO ASK HER!

Discovery.....

When you read books you never know what you are going to get. Even the worst book will give you understanding on bad books. Whenever I read a book I try and look for only one thing, that one nice big thing that will remain with me for a long time to come. Many a times it is something tangential to the core area of what the book wants to explore or propagate. I just finished reading the ‘Call of the Mall’ by Paco. His earlier book ‘why we buy’ was an outstanding book and I found this quite a let down by his standards but a great read nevertheless. This is a great compliment for the guy’s insightful thinking. But the one line that struck me the most is almost the last line in the book - Discovery is one of our most satisfying emotions. A fantastic insight. It is by no means a coincidence that we love lectures where the prof takes us on a journey of discovery. He knows what the results will be but the journey of us discovering is so fascinating. I too try and get tehkids to discover by themselves a lot of things. The only thing they need is a direction. Among the bets projects that I have received from the kids is when I give them a blank mandate, to research anything they want, start talking to a hundred people, discover seemingly unrelated insights and then focus on something they think is brilliant or astounding. These are normally the projects that get them most excited and they remember it for years to some. They love it and the learn so much because they have discovered insights themselves!!!!!
We also feel great joy in discovering a bargain, a great shirt, a lovely book, a nice place to eat etc …. The journey results in the exhilaration of discovery.
It also applies to office. We love bosses that let us experiment and let us discover by ourselves. It is called freedom at workplace. Hmmm… I have been doing a bit but also have been guilty of not doing it enough. Lets see. I have tried a lot to stay away but tightened noose when the run away has been far. How do I get to manage this? How would opposites reconcile here. Difficult but possible.
Same for parenting. Lets see if I can get Jispa to Discover a lot on her own…. Will only have to show her possibilities / directions. Will have to let her discover limitless joys / emotions / lands / games / stories and much more on her own…. After all DISCOVERY IS ONE OF OUR MOST SATISFYING EMOTIONS. What a commonsense insight. Always the most brilliant of insights seem like common sense in hindsight.

college days are meant for ...

If I were younger this is the time to be…. Man when I was in college women wore mainly salwar’s to college. But these days you can’t see anything but denims. I know so many guys who used to wear formals to college. I used to be among the few wearing denims every day. The colleges these days are a rockingly colorful place to be. Luckily being in a relatively heppier town college and I was not as starved as many others in different colleges and in different cities. Fashion shows were a norm and they were all over the place. So skin was never an issue. But I guess the sheer multitude of fashion hitting you in the face is interesting to say the least. Hmmmm…. I sound like an old fart but the way I see the colleges moving it seems like an anthropologist’s wild fantasies come true. The length of the skirt would have inverse relation with the balance of payments reserve of our nation. I mean in my time as a nation we had barely enough money to pay for our next month’s import and we had to pledge our gold!
It is also interesting and amazing that we somehow went through college without … horror of horrors …. INTERNET. I mean how did we do that. In fact I even passed B school without the essential Cut Copy Paste, without internet; doing projects by referring to the library. How menial is that? And yes, we did not have cell phones as well. Wow…. It’s a wonder we ever managed to coordinate and go anywhere. And I also remember paying 8 bucks for a rear stall ticket at sterling cinema…. Also I just remembered… I paid a grand for a custom built calf length cowboy boots! I have no clue how I did that. I actually used to wear them as high fashion. They used to zip up and heat up like hell. They were also heavy and with leather soles they were slippery as well. They also had some chain around the heel. Aaagh the sins of youth!!!!

Beaten by the loop, saved by the cream

Sunday was my morning at home all alone. I had the option to either play cricket or do some odd jobs at home. So I figured, let me do a quick job and then I will figure what to do. The errand at hand was tying the nylon ropes for the clothes to dry outside. Hmmmmm. Should be a five minute thing. So I decide to start trying the ropes and hmmmmmm. The rope was freshly bought and looped in a special manner. I had no clue that one has to be very careful while unraveling it, else……yes... they get into a mess very fast. So I spent the next hour trying to unknot the ropes. ONE FREAKING HOUR. And it was a trying experience. After opening a large part of it I realized that the open part needs to be kept properly else that too was getting tied up. So after untying the ‘untied’ part on a ‘belan’ like kite manjha I start working on the other end. Figuring that the other end will meet this one to complete the process. So I put that in a loop and used my watch to secure it and then and then and then….. I gave up. I just took the knife and cut the rope! I gave in and admitted defeat to a humble loop! What a humbling experience. Then I tied the clothes line. Believe me, keeping it tight and tying a 12 feet X 4 line in a space you cant stand properly (4 feet high) was quite a bit. I had no energy to anywhere after that. So that was an hour and a half to do a 15 minute job. Good thing we had chocolate almond fudge ice cream at home. Worth every worth the effort! What say Jasmine?

The attached photo is of me shivering in the Shatabdi form Haridwar to Delhi. The trains are bloody hot or bloody freezing!

school blues

Today was parents teachers meeting at Jispa’s school. I get dam bored at all these interactions. Not that I am disinterested in her school progress, but hell she is only 4 years old. The teacher has nothing significant to add. It’s all like Jispa is sweet. She now has started talking in class and other such simple silly inconsequential stuff. I want to ask more but then I don’t get too much feedback in return. Either the teacher is not so smart or that’s all you can talk about a four year old. In any case these teachers have no real insight nor can they discuss parenting. So its one of the ya ya.. ok ok .. hmmm… kind of conversations. What a bore man. But I guess it’s important to go as a habit. You get to see the school, teachers etc for whatever its worth. I guess its important just to be in touch. The teachers know, your kid knows that you take interest in the school, and shows importance you attach to education. Besides that not much for now to get from bacha’s school.

Below is the chopstick we stuck through poor golum's chest on our office white board. so much office boredom.

the hero's journey

Shifting into a new house is quite a journey. Especially when it’s your first home that you have made all by yourself. A very interesting thing happened. Jispa for the first time was to sleep all by herself in a separate room. I thought it’s a big thing for her since she’s only around four and a half. She seemed quite enthused. I gave a long set of instructions, where is the bathroom, where we kept her water, where to find us (one room away!), which light will remain on, and all. I think it was a small step in her hero’s journey. She also had her very own terracotta army (see picture of her ten Ganesha’s) to help her along the journey. But I realized something very important. The step was as much her step on her journey as it was mine on my journey. It was a step towards me letting her on her own. A cutting of a symbolic fraternal umbilical cord of sorts. And the cord was mine to let go, not hers! I slept bad, constantly thinking about how she would cope. I checked a few times if she was likely to fall off. I think she too was a bit taken in by her first brush. She woke me thrice – one for water getting over, one for getting hungry (luckily there was an apple) and once for mosquito biting. She normally does not wake up like this. At night (or early morning, I don’t know) while I was feeding her the apple she told me that she went to pee by herself as well and the subtle idea being that she did not wake me up for that. Hmmmmm, as Joseph Campbell said you have to lose your one state (die) and resurrect into another to complete one leg of the hero’s journey. Today, I think she died an infant and has been resurrected a child. I died one stage of fatherhood and have been resurrected another. The journey continues…

Mind Memory

Of all the things I want to lose the last thing I want to lose is my mind. And the only thing I won’t realize losing when I lost it is… my mind. OPPOSITES RULE!! Mind is such a powerful object. It can run you or ruin you (sorry for the bad figure of speech). It’s also very difficult to control. I have tried my entire life to control and harness the power of the mind. But to very obvious noting, they have turned to near naught. A few leanings though…..Over a period of time the mind learns to deal with a vast majority of problems only if you have conditioned it to learn and keep learning. I feel that there always connections in the brain that keep happening and reinforcing. These connections over a period of time give you conviction and character. Personally it has been fascinating to note how the mind evolves as an object that merely responded, to an object that has learned to respond. More like muscle memory in sport. There is something I believe in ‘mind memory’. If given sufficient scenarios played in your mind then most likely, the mind will be well equipped to handle it when the need arises. It also what some people call being paranoid. A state of readiness and effective call to action will be achieved only if one borders on paranoia. This is basically to envisage a range of possibilities that can arise given a situation and then condition the mind to be prepared for the next steps once it happens. This is also simply called margin of safety. One has to envisage the range of probable options, visualize solutions / course of actions and then let go. If you constantly think about it then you are only creating a paranoid state. This state is only required in war. And if you are on war front constantly then it can only add to your stress. So I try (also recommend) the old scout motto – be prepared. That’s all there is to it.
So next time the teacher / boss catches you day dreaming tell her that you were mind memory’ing. So that’s should be a valid excuse to get you out. But you would also need to mind memorize what to do if you get caught in the first place. What shit.