getting things done

Writing everyday is not so easy. what the hell am I to have as an insight that I can hope to pass on to some one or the other. I try to refrain from doing simple cut pastes. I hate quoting entire lengths of paragraphs or entire songs… so sometimes I am just lost what to write. Sometimes its just the discipline of sitting down and writing something, anything. Words flow and so does the topic build up. Sometimes I set out to write something but end up writing about something else all together. I wonder how come I have so many things in my head. Itna sara bhusa bhara kahan se? Bhagwan jaane.

Any free time I get these days is more spent trying to get my travelogue done. Which is easier said than done. The bloody thing just keeps on going on and on and on. I cant get around to cutting it short and is taking an obscene amount of time. I am flowing back and forth between things related nad unrelated. But its fun doing that. I hope when it finally comes out, it should be something that I should be proud of. I am lucky enough to capture a lot of photographs as well. They add real texture and help explain what I would have never been able to with words. Quite a nice experience. I am not so sure how I would be able to write more besides the travelogue. This alone should be enough to keep my writing keedas suitably busy and suitably tired.

I have done the performance appraisals with my team. These are all marathon sessions, each anywhere between two to three hours per person. This is after all a once in a year thing and they at least deserve all the time that they get. This is the time to air grievances. While I might be an ok guy to get appraised from, I am notoriously difficult to appraise. It all depends on my mood at the time. At times I get very docile and disinterested, like the last time around. I was not even interested in the marks my boss gave me. Dena hai toh de, nahin toh mut de. And the year before that I was almost on a war path fighting out every point and mark cut or made. Man, these things can get very very volatile. End of the day its all on my mood. Most of the time I think my attitude in office has been that I will do my job better than you expect, just don’t get in my way. Don’t ask too many questions, just tell me what you want. I almost forgot how I behave till someone pointed that out to me. He called me something like the inner child or some jargon like that. One of the things that you learn over a period of time is to execute relentlessly. There is no substitute for mindless and excellent execution. There are times in middle where you might need to pause for strategy, but most of the time, its simple relentless execution. Mind numbing pace, and always witin parameters. The way we believe we bargain, we normally get the best rate for most of what we do. We try and lower costs every year. As my colleague once caught on to what I said and repeated it till it became folklore ‘inflation is in the minds of the seller’. There is always lower costs, Always. I don’t know where my streak comes from. I was always aggressive. With age I have learned ot channel it right. Channel it internal. Channel it towards the goal.

While reviewing my kids told me that sometimes I push like mad, I drive them crazy and I follow up like mad. I transfer pressure like crazy at times. At the same time they appreciate it and believe that I make them do better. I found this funny at first and not so while thinking again, because I thought I was always the easy going types, and I was not the tough guy. I might not be the stereotyped tough guy, but I realize, that I can push on what I think is priority. I hope I don’t push people too hard and drive them over the edge. I think over a period of time I have gained by alter egos which I can call upon in times of need. This also is self analysis. I don’t know how right it is. People working under me will realize.

One thing is for sure, I have changed over the course of the last three years and am able to push myself and my subordinates like no man’s business. I have been fair and tough at appraisals, whereas earlier I used to be more benign. God knows how I have changed, what has happened. Is it for the good or is it for the worse. As a good friend who knows me from the year 2000, once told me ‘Jaimit, the innocence is now lost from your face. You have hardened and it’s showing on your face’. I did not know if that was a good thing or bad, but I know it was the truth. :)

For all I recommend a book called “execution – the discipline of getting things done” by Larry Bossidy and Ram Charan. If you just internalize the title 20 % of your life will be better. I don’t think I would have had the maturity to read and understand the same 4 years back and at the same breath I must add that I would like to re read the same after 10 years to clearly understand what more its trying to say. But basically get things done bozo. Get things done. It really left an impact on me. Whether it reinforced what I knew or whether it taught me something new, I have no clue. But a mark is there for all to see.

Old friends and triple win

Now let’s see. An old B school friend of yours is coming to your office and she (operative word SHE) is going to drop by and say hi to you as well. What do you do. Well for one, wear nice formals. The ones that make you look important. second…. CLEAN YOUR DESK. You got to look cool, uncluttered and important. hahahhaha. Ya ok, Sonali did drop by the office. She is as smart as she was 8 years ago, and by her own description, svelte. But doing all that just for her…Nahhhhh,…. Ok ok ok ok. I admit, I did clean my desk. But it needed cleaning in any case. It was long overdue. Can a catalyst be defined as a cause. I argue, as not. Your honour, I am innocent, set me freeeeeeeee.

Kya bakwas likh raha hun?

In continuation of my win win win experiments with other hapless victims. I took a cab today from my house to the station. Yesterday I took a cab home from office and it cost be around 160 bucks. While going to the station I asked him if he would go all the way to office at Nariman point for a 100. He said it would be around 130 and you could give 10 15 bucks less. So we agreed at 120. Now it was interesting to see the decisions he takes as regards the route. Some places he took the shortest route and some places he took a small detour but saved time. He maximized his time and money equation in a unique manner. It was very interesting. This way I got the best time money route to take my self in case I am driving in.
Another case was my regular taxi guy who was charging me 40 bucks everyday to get me to Jispa’s bus stop where I dropped her off and take a train to office. Now Jispa’s school going will start only in a months and a half’s time, so I asked him to come in at 7.45 or 8 am. But he already was booked at the time with someone who was going to Mazagaon every day at 7.45. So I suggested that I share some part of the journey with him. He loved the idea. Now for him the best option would be to charge be slightly less than normal, the other guy gets a discount as well, and he must be better off than what he normally would have got by a small margin. So if we assume its 100 bucks to Mazagoan and 40 bucks to Wadala. Then he should charge me 30 and the other dude 90 and therefore the taxi makes 120 versus 100 he would have got. WIN WIN WIN. Lets see what does he do.

when fooled, turn the tables

I have a firend whose nick is Goripari. She had sent me an SMS in February to keep my 29th free, as she was on the quiz show KBC and wanted to phone me on the phone a friend option. I ‘the sucker’ fell for it. This is how I weaseled my way out of the situation. I am quite cheap, I say. Following is the Google talk conversation.

goripari: I had send the msg to every one in my friends list.....not only u
jaimit: good...
cause you will realise that those who keep their 29th free will be your good friends and the rest not so
BTW , my 29th is not free
goripari: ha ha ha
jaimit: i will be very busy
goripari: :)
jaimit: so how many good friends do you have?
goripari: 3 of them called me up immediately to congratulate me ...among them one was Smita kapoor......
jaimit: hmmmmmm
goripari: after that they realised that feb has 28 days
jaimit: seee... people are so happy for you that they forget basic common sense and feel genuinely happy. these are the people who will not realise fact because happiness overwhelms them.
they are the ones who fell genuinely happy for you
they are your friends
goripari: right u are
jaimit: happiness is an emotion that come first to them, common sense later
interesting thesis?
think... again
goripari: yes very interesting....
jaimit: so who is the fool? The person playing the joke or the person on whom it is played out?
hahahhahaha
goripari: ha ha ha ha ha
jaimit: the person who cares for you or the person who cares not for the person who cares for you
who is the bigger fool
goripari: u proved its me :)
jaimit: you decide
i prove nothing
only make you think. :)
PS: nice to know i am on your friends list
goripari: ok...will definitely think over it and let you know :)
jaimit: hahahahhaahahah
dont bother tooo much
but small experiments make interesting anthropological deductions
goripari: :)
jaimit: go now, run along. You know your friends now
goripari: yes.....
jaimit: run

Ms Ray teaches us all

Sometimes by chance one meets the most amazing people. The other day when I was in Kolkata I took some time out to meet a certain Ms Ray. Ms. Ray and I first spoke on the phone when I was hunting for a book. I could not find my favorite parenting book “10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting” at home. I went hammer and tongs at all the sites searching for the same and finally called a number given at the Oxford store site. Ray picked up the call and has since then given the best possible service over phone and mail. Over a few years I figured that she is easily one of the most prompt and efficient people that I would have interacted with. While I was using her as a customer service person I saw the designation say Content Editor. I kept wondering why this brilliant content editor was taking my calls and mail. In Kolkata when I finally confronted her, she told me that she is a literature student and therefore a content editor by profession, but being in a startup kind of environment; she was handling everything and tried her best to help anyone with a query. Now some time back I had read a book called ‘positively outrageous service’ by Scott Gross. Scott’s point was that some people are naturally great at service and others not so. Some people will feel empathy naturally and some are just not it. So while interviewing it’s just smarter to separate the grain from the chaff. Ray clearly falls into the natural empathy person. I believe that the natural empathy person is the one that is required for all service led organizations. So companies in financial services, all front offices, hospitality, anything. In fact in marketing I firmly believe that the naturals will be the one who will succeed in the long run. They are ones who will feel strongly and naturally for the customers. They are ones who will never screw the customers and will make their needs and wants their own. They are the ones who will believe that service is a must, the consequences may follow. These people in any organization must be preserved and nurtured. They spread the culture by just being there, acting out their true nature. Hmmmmm. If tomorrow’s competition will be on service then the differentiator will be culture. And culture will remain in the hearts and souls of people. So dear company / division, how do you figure out what your soul is? And once you know it, can you really change it? Influence it? Can you nature enough Ms Rays(can you recognize them) in your midst to spread their postivity? Hmmmmmm.

grammar swatter

Yesterday I bought a mosquito electrocuter. It’s quite a funny contraption that is shaped like baby tennis racquet, with an electric current running through the middle. You just have to whack the mosquito and presto you have an ace. I tried it yesrday and it makes a funny crackling sound as it passes the death sentence on the poor insect. I normally don’t like killing insects but, mosquitoes and small cockroaches are an exception. More so mosquitoes. I hate them and have no qualms at all about slapping them dead in mid flight. But when you electrocute one with this it feels real bad. I just think I have to get used to it; basically the sound of the mosquito being cooked. Uuughhh….

They sell these things by the dozens at the VT subway. Then keep hitting the racquet against some green plastic fur kind of Christmas decorations. The racquets makes quite a racket, with the crackling sounds coming form the four guys trying to out noise the others in an effort to sell it. As with most, I think the guy who figured how to market the product made more money than the guy who probably invented it. The funniest thing about the racquet is actually the instructions. Let me reproduce the same without permissions. They sound funny but that’s exactly what they write… As I always said, fact is many times stranger than fiction.

Main Character:
Rechargeable Type: It furnishes 2 pcs of 1.2 V high quality rechargeable batteries which can by recharged in recycle for more than 600 times. It is quite practical and economic.
Twice speed discharge: it adopts an innovative twice speed discharge circuit which can output 2500V in a moment. So, it has the best result for result forhitting mosquito.
Electric Shockproof Net: It can kill mosquito which is sucking on human bodies but it is harmless to human. when touching the net on flat surface, without any feeling of electric shock so, it is safe for use.
Leakproof net: It consists on a special 3-layer net which can easily catch insect and never leakout

Directions:
When charging, please use AC 100-240V,50HZ power source.
Before using, please charge the batteries for 8-15 hours. They can be recharged in recycle for 600 times.
When hitting insect, you can easily kill them by just pressing it’s switch.
When the indicator twinkle,it indicate that batteries run out. Then the swatter should be recharged for 8-15 hours

Warning:
For more safety,do not press the switch or touch the ourface of the net when swatter is in charge.
Please do not finger the medium-layer net.
Please shake swatter for cleaning off the insect carcasses which remain in net. Be sure don’t wash it with water,so as to avoid shortcircuit.
The swatter may become without high-voltage or in low-voltage conditions when it absorbe damp in wet weather,the effect will be declined.Then,it can be dried by blowing with electric blower or shining with sunshine. The effect will be recovered soon.
Children must instruce under adult when use it.


Now my dear friend Vinu, who normally splits his hair over my refusal to check anything before posting will find this crazy.. heheheheheh. This was piece was tough to write and all of this is a fact and not a piece of imagination. Check the picture provided.


font of thefly swatter
back of the swatter with the brilliant instructions.

yin and yang halo

There are times when one is confused and times when the entire thing looks clear. I have had time and opportunity to think a bit during my weekend trip to Kolkatta. I have always loved the Yin and Yang philosophy. The opposite reconcile theory is also a derivative of the same. After Kolkata I am so much clearer in my mind as to why I love it. I know more about it today than I knew a couple of days back. And I feel enlightened. You might just get to see a halo around me. I want to get a Yin Tang tattoo done on my left forearm. I want it to constantly remind me of the beauty of the philosophy as I understand it.
One requires the other to be defined. While they are opposites but are not in conflict. See it from above and all seem to be one. Shit is necessary in your life, it defines what ‘not shit’ is.
Like most good philosophies, less is better. The more situations one philosophy can describe or relate to the better it is. Simpler is better.

There is so much I have in my mind but I can’t write it. But as of today I am so confident about it. Here is something from the Wikipedia about it.


Everything can be described as both Yin and Yang.
1. Yin and Yang do not exclude each other.
Everything has its opposite: although this is never absolute - only relative. No one thing is completely Yin or completely Yang. Each contains the seed of its opposite. For example, winter can turn into summer; "what goes up, must come down".
2. Yin and Yang are interdependent.
One cannot exist without the other. For example, day cannot exist without night. Light cannot exist without darkness. Death cannot exist without life.
3. Yin and Yang can be further subdivided into Yin and Yang.
Any Yin or Yang aspect can be further subdivided into Yin and Yang. For example, temperature can be seen as either hot or cold. However, hot can be further divided into warm or scorching; cold into cool or icy. Within each spectrum, there is a smaller spectrum; every beginning is a moment in time, and has a beginning and end, just as every hour has a beginning and end.
4. Yin and Yang consume and support each other.
Yin and Yang are usually held in balance: as one increases, the other decreases. However, imbalances can occur. There are four possible imbalances: excess Yin, excess Yang, Yin deficiency, and Yang deficiency. They can again be seen as a pair: by excess of Yin there is a Yang deficiency and vice versa. The imbalance is also a relative factor: the excess of Yang "forces" Yin to be more "concentrated".
5. Yin and Yang can transform into one another.
At a particular stage, Yin can transform into Yang and vice versa. For example, night changes into day; warmth cools; life changes to death. However this transformation is relative too. Night and day coexist on Earth at the same time when shown from space.
6. Part of Yin is in Yang and part of Yang is in Yin.
The dots in each serve:
as a reminder that there are always traces of one in the other. For example, there is always light within the dark (e.g., the stars at night); these qualities are never completely one or the other.
as a reminder that absolute extreme side transforms instantly into the opposite, or that the labels Yin and Yang are conditioned by an observer's point of view. For example, the hardest stone is easiest to break. This can show that absolute discrimination between the two is artificial.
7. Forces regain balance with yin-yang curves
Look at curves, where one thing is resolved with another. Our own bodies possess plenty of yin-yang curves, as do the bodies of all other organisms. Yin-yang curves can be internal (part of the physique) or external (part of the trajectory of motion). Select and adapt with curvature.

appraisal crap

I have rarely felt so much pressure at appraisal time. It’s hardly my appraisal that I am worried about. Actually not at all. It is the appraisal that I have to do for my kids that keeps me awake. How do I balance it? How do I be fair to them and the company and to myself? How do I set the standard? My personal standard might be higher but the general standards might be lower.
It really keeps me quite occupied. I am forming opinions every second as the D day comes closer. I will have to let go some of what I hold close. They will have to go through their rite of passage. They will have to evolve. Sometimes I have no clue how they would but will have to trust them to swim. They will learn only by falling. I will have ot let them fail and not hold that against them. But at the appraisal, isn’t it my duty to hold them accountable. I must do what is good for the organization in the long run. After all purely going by responsibility, I must think long term. Long term. What is needed three years down the line? How do I balance my own requirements and progress with those of the kids? How do we move in sync? I am not so worried and insecure about my self; that is something I left behind long ago, but my worry is how do I take them along with me for the long run without hurting them.
Thoda sa toh girne de

Let them fall a bit,
Only by falling will they learn,
Learn they will to rise,
High above and well beyond
I wish them all the very best
And look with eager eyes
You may not spread my name
But you will spread the style
A style that I have in some small way
Hope to put inside
Inside your brains and in your soul
To touch you in many ways
And hope that you will someday
Reap all that I meant to grow
Grow grow grow

panch ka do ya do ka paanch

In one of the Raj Kapoor movies he goes to the city and meets a banana seller. She is selling five bananas at two annas. Raj Kapoor pretending to bargain offers five annas for two bananas instead. (I don’t remember the exact numbers but the message is right). The banana seller refuses and Raj Kapoor pretends to walk away. She then figures the maths and calls him back. Our hero smiles and says, maousi, I haven’t a penny. She offers him the bananas free. And so the friendship began. Cute story. I think the movie was Shree 420 or Awara. One of those. Why am I remembering this story?
Yesterday while going home I felt a bit hungry. I stopped at the nearby tapri selling sing-chana and sukha bhel. Now I didn’t want to eat too much at the risk of filling my tummy and screwing up dinner. So I ask him, sukha bhel kitne ka? He tells me five bucks. I ask him if he could go lower and he firmly refused. NAHIN!... ok ok… I reply…paach ka de toh. Then I figured that I really did not want that much, so I tell him char rupiya ka de par panch lena. He say, “ Nahin, Sirf paanch ka milega”. I shout back, “yeda, tu pura rupiya paanch lena, par char rupiya ka hi maal dalna, mujhe kum khana hai.” I explain I don’t want to waste it. hmmmm. The bulb somewhere in his mind lit, but I don’t think completely. He was wondering if I had gone mad. He then made some, asking me if the quantity was enough. I paid him five and left. A win-win situation.
It set me thinking. Suppose if I had complicated it a bit. If I had offered him four bucks but only asked him to give me three rupees worth, what would he have done? He pay off would have been greater with a higher profit margin, I would have spent lower absolute amount of money, I would have been happy with the quantity and of course my wife would be happy that I would not waste her dinner that she prepared. What would he have done? In Mumbai the biggest cost is always real estate and must be so also for the roadside guy, after all he pays the hafta to the local goon, the BMC and the rest. It has to be a significant chunk of the cost. So given that his biggest cost is fixed he MUST try to maximize his margins.
So if I had complicated it further by offering him a choice, telling him, either give me four rupees worth at five bucks or three rupees worth at four, what would he have chosen? And if I had further given him an option to of two rupees worth at three bucks, what would he have done? As the amount grows smaller his payoffs would keep on increasing but he would be compromising his five rupee barrier. The five rupee barrier I assume is to distinguish him from the lowly sing-chana vendor and pitch him at the higher value add business of sukha bhel and higher through puts. But by increasing his margin we have him at a fix. So in effect I am keeping the one rupee premium for lower absolutes in addition to the margin that he makes on the bhel. If the premium is fixed and the margin as a percentage is intact then he must theoretically jump at the lowest offer.
I want to try this with him some day and see what he does. Doe she just ask me to fuck off or does he look at me as if I am mad or does he take the worst offer. How would his mind work, would it be rational and take the lowest offer or would it be irrational and tell me to buzz off, or would be a mumbaikar mind and assume that I am taking his case. Interesting thing this mind game might be.
Sanjeev my sister’s hubby has an interesting tale to tell. He once ordered Dahi Idli at one of the lovely south Indian joints at Kings Circle, but he loved the dahi more than the idly. So asked for more dahi. Sorry we don’t serve dahi, was the answer. Oh ok…. Ok then get me dahi idly without the idli, we will pay full price…. No.. we serve it only with the idli. Ok… then get me dahi idli with the dahi and the idli in separate dishes without mixing the two. NO… this is the only way we serve it. Oh bother…..Fact is sometimes stranger than fiction.
This should be a decent indicator of what the sing-chana vendor is likely to do, faced with the option. No wonder economics has changed since we first learnt about the rational mind and the brilliant supply and demand intersecting. This is also an example of when one can charge a premium and have the customer pay it. Finally it depends on the type of need being fulfilled. That is where the intersection changes up or down.
Bus kar yaar…. Too many economics books have gone into my head. What empty blabber. Ab mein khud pak raha hun. Will try it once on some vendor and let you know his reaction. Hehehhehehe.

Pappa pass ho gaya

We were trying for jispa’s admissions in a pretty decent school. Billed by some as the best in mumbai. The first test involves the child being interviewed by the school and a bunch of questions to be answered by the parents. Jispa passed the first test. The second round involved an interview with the parents. Now this would have been quite a thing if we had failed. Jispa could then theoretically say that she had passed but we failed. Shit man. That too for the school admission test. SO Jispa… now we have passed. Papa pass ho gay, papa pass ho gaya…. Now if you don’t make Jispa it’s YOUR fault bozo. I got you the admission; I pay the fees, ab tumhare havale watan sathiyon.

I forgot me cell phone at home today. No wonder I am getting my work done in office efficiently. No idiot disturbing me while I am doing something else, or talking to my bachas or whatever. Wow, I wish I forget my cell phone more often. Let me see how many missed calls I would have got today. Very very cool thing to happen to you. I recommend the same to every one. Do forget it once in a while, it is good for your health and importantly sanity.

more experiences

In a retail environment, why should you bother about how clean your warehouse should be? After all the customer does not walk in and will never in the ordinary course of action see your warehouse. I under stand basic cleanliness to be followed but really how clean must it be? Well. I had written about Hypercity sometime back. How I loved buying from the shop and lovely retail experience but absolutely shitty follow up. My bed was not in stock, it came late. They sent a damaged bed, then sent the proper one etc etc etc… they expected me to be in the house that I had not even occupied for the whole day waiting for the bed, as they could give me a range of time in which the bed would come. All that was fine. The bed finally arrived neatly wrapped up in small corrugated boxes. The horror was that the boxes were dirty and dusty (courtesy the warehouse) and had a few cockroaches on it. Now if we are shifting to a new house the last thing I would want is a cockroach. Imagine what I would be thinking about the cockroach coming in from Hypercity. What kind of warehouse would they be using? So now I am thinking, does their food warehouse suck as bad. So they have armies of cockroaches there as well? Hmmm.. The experience is always end to end. One must take care of the same from the very beginning till the very end. The last time I put a post on it, a very sweet lady contacted me from their PR agency Ipan – Shaila Pais. Poor thing tried to understand the problem and promised to solve it. I don’t think she could do much. I guess the problem is form within or from the top. One must care about the customer as a part of culture not some random mission statement. But at least she called. At least she had a simple thing such as a blog alert and she responded to it. A couple of days back I posted something about Café Coffee Day with a picture of their employee sleeping on the sofa without his shirt. No contact from the company. What am I thinking dude? What am I, the customer, thinking?

be my valentine

Hmmmm. Today is Valentine’s day. Its been around 15 years now that I have been ‘officially’ going around with Jasmine. We officially started going around on 3rd Feb 1992. wow… that’s a looong time. I dunno how valentine’s day isthese days in college. In my days liberalization just started and Valentine’s day was picking up. It rapidly gained significance as we passed the years. Cards were big time in fashion. Every one who was any one was giving each other cards. People proposing to each other on Valentine’s day. Oh bother… why wait for a special day. When you fell like just go ahead and say it. That’s what I did. I remember distinctly that fluorescent colors had made their entry as hep and happening colors. So all the cards had fluorescent covers. The chicks used to get a lot of cards from their suitors. For some reason the chick believed that the guys were all smucks and I saw so many cards being torn in front of the poor boys proposing. Man that broke my heart. The poor kid had mustered all the courage and said what his heart spoke. I remember how my heart pounded when I first spoke to Jasmine. She handled it very well. Why cant chicks be like that these days. The other chicks with lots of cards couldn’t dare take them all home. The college was littered all over with small bits of yellow and green fluorescent papers, bearing mute testimony to the hidden or unrequited loves. The street beggars also would figure that love is in the air and would make their two pennies selling roses.
I wonder what my good friend Vinu used to do on Valentine’s day. He was always above this ‘girl thing’ and ‘love thing’. He probably just saw all this tamasha and must have got even more pissed off. It didn’t take much to piss him off. He was the angry young man always. Hmmm. Why don’t I remember his reactions? Funny.
Today morning I reminded my wife that we have had 15 years of togetherness. We hugged and we just smiled. After 15 years it doesn’t take any words to talk to each other. We just know. Today kids have options like I am going around but not committed, I may or may not marry, I am just going around, I broke up with the guy etc. I have never understood that and probably never will. Jasmine and me were together for keeps from the very first moment. Breaking up was not an option. Not marrying was not an option. So I never had to propose marriage. It was a given. Funny thing it sounds like now.

Helll… pink and red is the color of the season. We have been asked to wear that today. They have decorated the entrance to the office with red and blue sashes. They miss the point. Putting a heart and some chocolates on every desk might do the trick, a simple satin ribbon here and there might build better mood. Three card to all for them to distribute in office to some one they appreciate might be better valentine. But hell. Go on.. something is better than nothing. Make my day. I am wearing a red checks shirt today, where are the lovely Valentine’s? Bring them on.. I am waiting!

picture dekh

Kutte ki tarah travel aur kaam kar raha hun. I as usual have bitten off more than I could chew and resultant loss of time to write my own blog is quite depressing. But fear not, I am back in action. I have had hardly any time these days, to do what I want to do. My travelogue sis also suffering. There I have written till I reach Allahabad and the journey of word has stopped. I WILL COMPLETE THE FREAKING THING> AND WILL DO IT SOON! I PROMISE, by the masters of the universe… tanannananananna. Whatever.

I was dying to see a English movie. Any English movie will do. And I also promised that I will see it in a normal big theatre ( read not a multiplex), so we go to Regal Theatre and see the only movie that suits our time ‘The holiday’. Kafi timepass picture hai. Full Candy floss, heart shaped chocolate kinda movie. Uuuuuu. Cho Chweet shit. But very very bearable with a few smiles thrown in. Diaz is cute, but I figure she is aging and it shows on her eyes. Why do actress’s in Hollywood typically come into lime light at 30 / 35 and then try to age gracefully. Indian movies like them younger… ya so, jasmine and me enter Regalt o the familiar smell of ….. well ‘Regal’. It just smells different and the same after all these years. We have seen so many movies here. In the old days the big cinema halls were Regal, Sterling, Eros, New Empire and some times New Excelsior. No multiplexes were constructed then. The ticket price when I first saw a movie with friends and not mom and dad was Rs 7 for the stalls at Regal. The movie I think was Project X or Project A. It was a Jackie Chan fight buster. I still remember the movie and the Jackie Chan slow mo stunt replays. Very very happening. We took a tenner from dad. 3 bucks was the kings circle – VT return fare. One way was 2 bucks and if you take a return ticket you got a discount of a buck. We then walked from VT to Regal and back. No money for frivolous expense like pop corn and Simba Chips. We were in a socialistic economy you see. Now the bloody multiplexes charge 150 for a ticket. SO I was feeling quite proud to see this one for 70 bucks in stalls. I was telling Jasmine that ‘ feels good nah, same old cinema, same old bucket seats, quite comfortable no, same old vinyl flooring, same old smell, and wow lovely leg room, large screens…’ nad she suddenly gets up. Shit. Now what? There was a nail in her seat. Oh come on, just a small nail. The money we save will buy another pair of jeans from Basu. Basu is the jeans maker from my college days. You go to his shop, choose your cloth, your fit and he customizes the jeans for you all for a pricley sum of 350 bucks. My wife loves it because of the fit. I get my cotton trousers from there. I love the guy as well. Coming back to the Regal. The poor helpful attendant drove the nail in with his torch and we saw happily ever after. I prefer the Regal experience to a multiplex. Call me old fashioned but I just love the good old theaters, reasonably priced. One thing I missed at Regal was the Softy ice cream cone. No such luck. But at least I got to eat my favorite salty caramel mix pop corn! Yipeee. I first ate the stuff from the guy inside Sterling.

bad dad, good dad

I am normally quite patient with Jispa. I can take n number of tantrums and normally scold her only to get her to listen. She has had this nasty habit of suddenly turning wild and angry without warning. If we sometimes try to do something like, remove her socks, choose her shirt etc (innocuous things), she will at random throw a fit, cry and scream. Absolutely random. I keep trying to tell her that I understand her crying if she tells us and we don’t listen to her, but we when we do listen or are talking to her she must not throw an ‘instant random’ fit. The other day we were at Jasmine’s mom’s place and we were going to the market. Jispa wanted to join us but was throwing fits left right and centre. I was patiently trying to explain, talk and getting her ready. I offered to make her wear the shoes which she agreed. While I was talking and making her wear her shoes, she threw a random fit screamed and kicked her legs. (Reason she wanted fasten the Velcro tighter) Her legs kicked my face and whack, I lost it and she got one across her cheek. The room fell silent. This happened on Saturday. The slap was with a soft hand and not a tight one, but I am sure she got a bit of pain. There was a mark on her cheeks for the next ten minutes. This was the first time I have ever hit her. Normally I only look at her or threaten to hit or just in rare times I raise my hand just to show dire consequences. I don’t believe in hitting a child too much. So this time my instinctive reaction made me feel miserable. As I was analyzing later, I felt a bit justified in slapping her. She would need to learn to first talk / ask before throwing fit. I have no problems with fits, I can ignore and live with fits, tantrums and the rest. But throwing one especially when I am listening and talking is just not acceptable. Was she too young to understand this? I don’t know. But evidence after slap goes to show that she got the point and is talking a lot more. And hell most of the time I accept what she says, to the point of me thinking that I might spoil her. So that’s the anatomy of the slap. A dad’s gotta do what a dad’s gotta do.
Also I realize that getting angry and scolding need not be a long drawn out affair. I immediately hug, talk sweetly and love her seconds after our fight. I believe in high impact when required and quick reversals post that. No point nagging and prolonging fights. Get point across and carry on.

experiences CCD

I think the blog can be a great place to share some consumer experiences. Today let stalk about a really bad one at Café Coffee day. I started lecturing again at Jai Hind, so I was exiting VT station at 8.08 am and was running towards Churchgate for Jai Hind. I was pretty sleepy so I decided to get a coffee at the CCD at VT. I was glad to see it open. I enter to see one of the employees sleeping on the couch. Thank you to the inventor of the cell phone camera. See the photo below. Bloody hell, he was sleeping without his shirt on.

Someone has to tell CCD that you get the bloody café up but it requires some effort to keep the ambience going. After all people are not paying 35 bucks for a 5 ruppee coffee. They are paying for the whole experience. But the ordeal does not stop there. I ask for a take away. The hero makes it and gives it to me, but with one crucial element missing. ‘Sir there is no lid’. What the fuck. No lid for a take away. And you tell me after the coffee is made and after I am made to wait for 5 minutes. 5 minutes are an eternity on the morning where the world is rushing to everywhere. He then figures and says ‘ but I can put foil on it’. huh… ok just give it with the foil then. He puts the foil and a rubber band. Really crude. And I rush off. I make a small hole for the coffee. I have to drink it right? The foil tears more than required. While walking I spill a little on the lovely formal pin stripped shirt and really get pissed in the morning. Bloody pain. I should be suing them for like a million bucks. But I guess these service chains will get to their own demise very soon. I don’t need to bother with what will eventually die out. Yes it’s a prediction. CCD will die a death very soon. Its ok to start a chain but it tuff to keep the level of service and quality day after day across all outlets. Obviously they do not really invest in training, upkeep and maintenance. I don’t think they figured this out yet. Good luck to them.

new car old car

My wife banged her car. Actually she just scraped it from the side and the side rearview mirror .. well… is now resting on the back seat. So am I to get angry. Heck no.. I was laughing. It happens to all. She is actually I think a better driver than me. She gets more mileage than me for sure. I might just be a good speedster. But a good speedster does not a driver make… But Jispa, if you are reading this please note: YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE THE CAR AND BANG IT ANYWHERE! Wife is ok, but daughter’s banging cars is a no no :)

This Sunday Jasmine unearthed a Frisbee. Not just any Frisbee, but a proper certified Frisbee, certified by the Frisbee association of the World or something like that. Jispa was at some dance practice so Jasmine and me played some amazing Frisbee at the ground behind. It’s a good sport when you are running around and throwing difficult catches. Now to figure out a way to keep Jispa away for two hours on a weekend.

we still shit

In our new house we got a very interesting servant ' devki' . This one is a loud mouth and would love to get into fights and arguments over nothing. I think her whole aim in life is to shout and talk loudly. Every time she has to tell my wife that ‘I am not supposed to wipe the vessels’, ‘I am not coming at night’, ‘why do you use large vessels for a small family’. She even talks to the vessels, ‘don’t fall’, ‘stay there’. She mumbles and grumbles all the time. But I think she’s kinda ok. I give this huge smile and she does not know how to react. I don’t think she expects people to smile at her. The other day she was forced to smile back. Haha.. she is, I think, not bad at heart. All you have to do is talk in a very calm tone and then she has to sober down…she is complete timepass.
The other day she ordered water for drinking from the workers (who were doing up the flat) next door. My wife asked her the reason. She said that many people in the building let her drink water only from the tap and not the filtered water. What the hell is that for??? Bloody bastards. My wife was also dam pissed. She told her that whenever she wanted she could have water from the water pot like us and that she could use any of the glasses that we use. She can make her own tea as well if required. I just can believe that this shit still happens in Mumbai and that too in decent localities. I guess this nonsense of treating people basis class will get more and more prevalent. Move over caste, its class that reigns supreme. But it just boils my blood every time I think of it. Separate glasses for servants I am ready to even concede but separate water! Bastards.

Another funny thing happened in the train while commuting. An old man in front of me suddenly decided that this is the best time for exercise. He started doing pull ups in the running train with the handles. Its fun to see him and even more to see the reaction of the fellow commuters. The first time he did it, people looked, but good mumbaikars are not prone to showing too much emotion or surprise. The second time no one even lifted their gaze. God knows what goes on in their minds. Are they busy thinking of their own problems, or are they just dismissing the man. hahhahah.

Here I clicked a couple of photos of the guy doing his thing. You decide.

here he is pulling himself on top. old man with a Nehru topi

Also notice the same man with his feet above the ground. notice the sports shoes and the Cargo pockets to go along with the Nehru topi and the safari'esque get up.

power

Yesterday I experienced a complete power moment. Wowie. Jispa’s school had some problems in getting the ICSC certification and the parents have met a few times, between themselves and with the management to sort this out. Now most of the time this nonsense degenerates in to confusion and no consensus is ever built, with rarely any go aheads. Very few have the power of voice to silence everyone and the ability to build consensus. I have managed to get the group on previous occasions to move ahead and take steps of action and common sense. This time the meeting was at 6 and I was late due to office shit. I entered at around 7.30 pm. I walked in and walked a few steps.. and…suddenly there was a murmur in the crowd. Heads turning and looking at me with a sigh of relief, heads nodding my presence, welcoming me, urging me almost to take charge of the situation. Mothers telling, come on, we needed you. Almost as if energy flew from me. Hahahahah! That was easily one of the biggest power moments in my life. Ajsmine who was there from before also felt it. Around 80 people and huge impact by merely walking in. I realized after the meeting was over that this was due to the fact no one was able to build action points and take charge. People, people, people… get them together and they lose all common sense. But thank god, I have enough sense to not let it get to my head too much. A little heady is ok, but no inflated egos. I have always maintained that your biggest strength is going to be your biggest weakness. And this is due to you using your strength one time too many. Conserving strength is the surest way to strengthen it! What say?

These days I am working on the travelogue and it making it difficult to write daily. Lets see. Its turning out to something I personally like. Complete self trip.

so much for womens liberation

As I said earlier that dropping Jispa everyday in the taxi is great fun. This is probably the only time that she and me get to talk. She normally acts dam funny when we ask about her school. Especially when Jasmine is there. She hardly ever tells. She hates to tell what happened, what she learned, what she is doing. But in the taxi early in the morning she now talks to me on what she is doing in school, what her teacher says and what the class is doing. It’s a five – seven minute ride so it’s only the highlight package that I get to hear. But then that’s enough I guess.

Right now she learns concepts in school. She is learning the concept of aeroplane. One of these days she has to go to school dressed up as an airhostess. That was fine. But then she told me that she and some girls are going to be the airhostesses and some of the boys will be the pilots. Now that got me a little irked. Why would the bloody school be reinforcing the stereotype? So I told her that girls can be pilots and the guys can also be ‘air hostesses’. They are called stewards. so I told her that she could be the pilot if she wanted to. She did not take that kindly. She told me that she wanted to be an airhostess. It was more fun giving out ‘khotta’ (fake) food. But I said you should be what you want to be. You could be a pilot or an air hostess. Be what you want. In some planes that I traveled in the men were serving and the women were flying. She firmly told me – ‘It is more funny being and AIR HOSTESS’ …ok ok princess… fine… so much for breaking stereotypes. Screw you ... do what you want… and when you grow up read this and enjoy!

Now to diligently set out time everyday to write the travelogue. Lets see, I must wrtite it before I forget too much. I wrote a lot of notes but still fresh is fresh.

My desk has also grown its greeting card collection. Now to make it stable is a fresh challenge.

quality time; at 4 am?

No I am not lost, no the kumbh did not kill me and no I did not find my long lost brother / twin/ triplet. Oh I’m Alive……

Wow. Any place which lakhs of people believe in becomes holy purely by the power of faith. The Ardh Kumbh experience was brilliant and to twist what most travelers say about India - everything you heard about the Kumbh is true and the opposite is true as well. I have made notes and I hope to write a small travelogue on the entire experience. So I am not writing too much now. Watch this space for an ill written travelogue.

One thing is there – I definitely got home sick. Too much for a three day trip I guess, but what to do. I miss my family a good deal. And they went and saw Happy Feet without me. That too in the dome theatre. Jispa was telling me about it in the taxi ride to her bus stop.
Dropping her to the bus stop is 15 minutes o quality time. Nice thing it is, talking to her about random things. Today was a nice cool day. So waiting at the bus stop she was feeling cool, and that’s a good thing, cause that’s when she wants to cuddle up. So today I did what my dad used to do. I rubbed my hands hard together making them warm and then warming her hands, legs and face. Very very cool. Her friend Aanya also enjoyed the whole thing. Then she tried to rub her hands together and tried to warm me. Full TP.

One more incident. My wife actually was drying the clothes at 4 am. Don’t ask me why. please ask her.

hindu electricity

Kumb mela is the stuff of legends. Hindu movie legends that is, the place where you lose your brothers. So I guess every time my brother gets on my nerve its time to visit the Kumbh mela. I might just be able to lose him once and for all. Oh the joy of separation for 14 long years. The joy of meeting him after 14 years, the joy of saying hey 14 years were fun , hope you had a hard time!. Heheheheheh. I can really get sadist I guess. But I have no doubts that as kids my elder bro would have loved to do the Kumbh on me :) Hmmmm. I have booked and packed my bags for the Ardh Kumbh this year to Allahabad. I am leaving on Thursday and will be there for just three days, catching the big dip on the 14th, which is the makar sankranti dip. Supposedly a hugely cleansing dip. Uggh, the only part of my body that is going to wash away the sins I guess is my big toe. I guess it needs the cleansing as it has sinned many times by kicking people’s butt. But more importantly, I am soo dying to see the multitude of people, our ‘holy’ men, the aura, the atmosphere. Any one who has seen the aarti at the ganga banks in Varanasi and Haridwar will testify that the whole ritual, the spectacle, the energy building up for the climax is just extremely exciting. The build up is nothing short of spectacular. The people waiting, the Pujari with confident attitude, knowing he is the hero of the show, and there are millions watching, praying; looking at him and believing him to be a messenger to the Gods. The murmur before it starts and the cacophony at Haridwar where bells go off all over the place, wooden paddles banging the brass plates, people singing, and the jai gange maataa aarti blaring over the loudspeakers. And not to forget the really large aarti diyas, with the helper constantly pouring cool Ganga water on the pujari’s hand, lest the heat scald him. Oh wow… man I soo love it. There is something to the place. I dunno if it is in any way holy, but the faith of millions together believing it to be holy makes it so. Five thousand people together (at least) praying, lighting diyas, believeing, singing, anticipating…. That itself makes for electricity. The place also makes for lovely photography and moods. I hope to catch some part of the Kumbh in similar light as well. Hope, these are not dashed. Badi aarzo liye jaa raha hun.


this photo is of Haridwar ghat where there are all bathing before the aarti begins. this is just one part of the crowd this next one is of the aarti in full progress with the large aartis. this is the main idol aarti.
Now this one you will see tons of diyas all over the place. again this is only a part of the jumboree. Notice the camera phone in the picture trying to take a video of the aarti. I just love the opposites reconciling in the picture.

application application application

“It is not enough to have good intelligence” Descartes wrote: “the principal thing is to apply it well”. Bang on insight.

Good intelligence will help you get great hindsight. One would be able to deconstruct the entire situation, explain what went wrong, how could it have been better. Great for teachers and researchers and the general fartists. Don’t get me wrong I think its great, intellectual masturbation is probably a great thing. I do it all the time. It makes you look very very smart in front of others, but also do get me right, its important to differentiate masturbation from the actual thingie. You can’t substitute or subsist on it alone. Great analysis alone need not lead to great work.
Application of intelligence leads to foresight. The ability to learn from mistakes in a way so as to not repeat them is what makes the cut. Every one makes mistakes, the stupid ones make them twice and the real bad idiots make them three times. One is excusable, two is food for thought and three is – ‘shoot the bastard’. Foresight is what will take you places, and that only come by consistent application and constant learning. It comes not just by reading tons of books but by applying some of that logic somewhere.

Afterword: the more I read Gandhi, the more I love his philosophy, parts of it of course. Hmmm… interesting to see how it shapes up and how one is able to apply it in real life situations.

faltu stress

Examinations are a pain. I still get night mares about not being adequately prepared for the school and college exams. I get remind my self that I am old enough and have passed the exams. But that does not stop them from coming back. I sometimes wonder the kind of stress kids get put under to perform at the exams. Post the exam results the blame will solely be in the kid, but the hell was the parent doing in the first place? I guess parents must take around 50% of the credit of the marks that the kids get and by that logic take 50% of the blame. So next time a kid gets punishment for bad exam performance, the parent must be made to endure 50% of the same. What say?
Speaking of exams, I just felt like I gave one the other day. Jispa’s school admission was on in a prestigious school in BKC. While Jispa was taken in for her test (some kind of play way thing) we were given questions to answer. Man I felt that after a long time I was being put to the test. And I had to handwrite couple of answers after a real looong time. That too, with no spell-check and neat and clean writing. Boss…. Was it stressful? My fingers felt the stress in just about 10 lines. Heheheh. I am so used to typing as opposed to writing anything long… some day I think I will just forget how to write long sentences at all. But it was good fun given the answers. The vast number of books came to my rescue. I was not so surprised to remember some key points from readings and adapt them for the answers. Felt good. Now lets see, either I get thru because the answers seem so smart or I get rejected out right for getting farty. Nothing in between.

Many times in a queue for the bus I wonder how many does it take to break a queue and breakout of anarchy. Many times just one. And all suffer from the resultant anarchy. The discipline of being in a line irrespective of one odd person breaking it will result in all benefiting. Hmmm. Everybody thinks let me benefit first by getting in early, a little early mind you, and everybody suffers. And stepping into a crowded double-decker bus is easier said than done. Only those in mumbai know what a pain it can get as the step is too high and there is almost nothing to hold on to except at the edges.

Sleep well

Jispa has been sleeping alone for around a month now. Ever since we shifted into the new house. Many times I tuck her in. The other day while I was putting her to sleep she asked “why am I sleeping alone?” oops… difficult question…. “because I am four years old, and I will become five years old?” … hmmm.. Should I answer yes? But then a stroke of inspiration. “Who says you are sleeping alone” I point to her teddy bear by her side. “These are also with you” I say pointing to the ten terracotta ganapatys’ by her bed side. I like to call it her terracotta army. Hmm. She smiles as she points to some thing. “Yes and of course there is Bob the Builder as well” I say looking at the figurine overlooking her bed. Very nice. She continues her dazzling smile and closes her eyes. Another score for fatherhood.

I really miss her sleeping with me. The soft cuddly of girl all contracted in the frog pose as she feels cold. When I hug her while she is asleep “Papa” she says “if you hug me I can’t sleeeep!”. Bum..If I don’t hug you I can’t sleep. But then I just put a blanket on her and she straightens up and sleeps. Only to throw it all away – actually kick it and sleep again in the frog pose. Finally when in morning she is 30% awake will she come in and sleep in a hug. Sigh. I would like to freeze time.

melody khau khud jaan jao

The first blog of the New Year must be funny…. Says who?..... Arree…The first thing you do / write in the New Year will set the tone for the rest of the year….. Ya? Is that so? ….. Of course. That’s why we party into the New Year and have tons of fun hoping we carry it all into the year? …..Hmmm. but don’t we mostly get drunk at these parties and embrace strangers and profess false love?...... Arree. but we also spend the part with people with love…… Hmmm. Is that so? ……Yes of course, that’s why the new year is so important and the first things we do set the tone. Haven’t you heard, well begun is half done?.......... Acha, so then I am basically screwed…… Why? What happened? ……Well nothing. Bhagum bhag is the first movie I saw this year. aaaggggghhhhhh…… Oh god man you are screwed. Kuch nazar wazar utarna tera. Teri toh band hai. full shot picture hai woh….. I know. Tell me about it. I spent 350 bucks on it! if that is truly the tone of the movies to come then I am done for. This is one of the rare comic movies that I have not even laughed once at. Even a movie like No Entry I remember laughing around twice. But this one drew a zilch. Kya shitall movie tha… man. tu sach bolta hai… merit toh abhi pure saal ki waat hai. I will have to atone for this sin.

Acha ek baat bol… bol… yeh subah subah people scene rocks yaar…. As in? … I have never understood one thing…. What? … in the morning the guys who are all dressed up in formals and saris etc are literally running…. And? .... the guys who are all dressed up with sneakers and shorts are the ones ambling along? Aisa kyun?... hmmmm. Bindu. .. Bindu?... as in point, man….haan, toh yeh opposites reconcile wala maamla hua nah?... Chandra maa bindu… Chandra maa bindu?... as in good point, man…. aaagh, saaad joke yaar but still better than the movie… toh kya? Maarte rahun kya?.... main tere ko maaru. That will be the perfect start to the year… hmmm. But two questions…. Haan puch?.... (1) Can a man actually hit his alter ego? (2) melody itni choclatey kaise bani….

stress busters are so silly

How does one maintain a consistent mood, average or thought process through out the day, day in and day out, month after month, year after year? It is so bloody painful. Some times a series of shit happens and one is left feeling sad and down. Its increasing difficult to avoid the swings but thank fully its not as bad as it sounds. In negative swings I would typically be a little more circumspect and a little withdrawn. I also bounce back by doing things that give me pleasure and good news. So my worry is not the bounce but the questions that can one have a consistent behavior. Can I somehow convince myself to keep a steady mood and not be swung by the temporary emotions? How does one achieve this steady state? And this steady state has to be true to the inners of oneself else or else maintaining a state that is not consistent inwards and outwards would only mean more and more stress. Stress is something I seek to consistently avoid and skip. Not that life will not throw you stress. Stress is in its management. I learnt over millions of years to manage it better, handle it better, slide it off better. But sometimes it just becomes a little difficult. I think most of the difficulty will come from uncertainty. Not being sure, or being in dilemma’s is what causes the severity. I have learnt to handle shit, but am still learning to handle the undertainity. Slowly but surely it getting better. That’s why I am not so bothered by its depth but more by its mere presence. Sometimes the stress is accentuated by recognizing it as thus and therefore creating more of it by worrying more about it. Crazy but true. Not recognizing leads to more stress, recognizing leads to more stress. Only finally achieving solutions relieves it.
The biggest toll is actually eustress. The good stress that you have before a match. The stress that pushes you to perform. Today most of the stress is eustress.the tsress that you seemingly want to take as it improves your performance, keeps you on your toes and is essential. In times of plenty as I see now we are in, the biggest killer will be eustress. By itself in isolation it might be good, but the ability to manage many isolated instances of eustress might be something of a problem. How many flanks can you open? In bad times you close all and focus on the big problem. In really bad times lot more bad flanks open but can be many a times traced to one underlying problem. In times of plenty many such good stress points get created, thus the ability to multi manage these and create cohesive driving force is tested. While it might not be as gloomy as it sounds but there is a warning there. I will learn, you will learn, we all learn someday. It’s the bloody interim that is difficult to control and manage. I think the key solution is to first reduce the intensity.

As I write I was talking to a friend whose nick is goripari. translated as white fairy. So generally was chatting about some work and I got inspired by her name and I wrote the silly poem for her….

Tell me oh white fairy
Which way is the dairy
Do we drink to our health
Or wait for our wealth
Any way the ganga flows
Taking water from the snows
Cleaning sins as it must
Creating boons from busts
What to do, how to live
Live we must, drink we must
Are the answers in the dairy
Tell me oh white fairy….

I must thank her for this … it suddenly put me in a rocking mood. Made me feel all nice and charged up. A little creativity goes a long way… even if it does not make any sense.

blind man's buff and father powers

I was at the international airport dropping off a cousin. I dropped them at the departure and went down to park the car. Now if you want to travel in lifts in mumbai airport then you better be blind. No no, there is nothing obscene about it but only the fact that all the numerals on the lift buttons have been erased. The only thing that’s left is the braille dots on the buttons. So what do you do? I guess Braille is pretty useless if you can see it ( you know what I mean). So the next smart things I to look real closely and press the button that’s worn out the most and hope in hell that that’s the right one and the right floor. Come to think of it from the car park I would not know what level is the departure area. So even if the buttons were there, I would still press the most used button to get to the right area. A-ha…. The power of the wisdom of crowds. Elementary Watson!

Also another thing I love doing is carrying around my daughter on my shoulders. It’s good fun. But also what amazes me is that how a father does not get so tired carrying his daughter. I like to carry her long distances this way. I was quite surprised that we went to Palitana, which is some few thousand steps up and then down. I carried her on my shoulders around 85% of the way. Without really getting tired. I sure it’s the mind thing. I also remember walking up and down and all around Matheran with her on me. Being a father is so wonderful in many ways and this tireless energy is just one of them. At the same time she can get soo tiresome :) this is how father hood reconciles opposites.

This is when not only her but also her friend decided that i was the beast of burden.

Also they figured that blinding me would be good thing to do.

christmas fun

Little things go a long way…. Office must be a fun place. We spend more time here than home. I have always believed that one should be able to do a lot more things to make the place livelier. What’s the point of being in a drab bloody place? Life is colorful. Everything must be colorful. What say? And if we in marketing, being the so called whacked ones can’t live up than might as well be in accounting. Sorry for the barb but I think the most boring people are in audit, accounts and administration. These guys take themselves and their jobs sooo seriously, it just worth the effort to ruffle a few feathers here and there. The key is to know a few skeletons that are likely to be in his closet as well know the rules very well. Becoz the guys so live by the rules if anything is slightly off it or beyond it, they are most likely to get confused. So I really enjoy riling them. Faltu kiddas I have on this. This is our Christmas celebrations in office. Its nice to get all the team together to celebrate Christmas. Its nice to have a Christmas tree, but its infinitely nicer to get them all to put it up together. KEY WORD HERE >> TOGETHER. Lots of offices have Christmas trees, but our team has one they all can be proud of. After all (from my earlier blog) “Pride matters more than money”.

letter to you.

Hey jippy. Some day you would read this blog and wonder, mera baap pagal tha. If he had to write something personal why did he choose something so open like a blog to write it. the point is that you are right. Teara baap pagal hai. ai!
I like the concept of open book. To tell a lot to a lot of people. I like to be more open than closed. I like more and more people to be aware of things in my brain and in my heart. The more people see what’s in the more they hopefully learn at my expense. Well its my bit of contribution to ‘world peace’. Ya sure. Well I duno. I just hope that some one some where is getting some little pleasure reading my blog. Sometimes reading even simple personal letters to you my dear. I love the relationship I have with you and I would love the world to know of it as well. And its not that the bloody blog has amassive readership in any case. I am not sure how many people you will meet in your life, that have read this blog. I certainly don’t think the number would be material. But the benefits of a public blog may be many. For one, since I know some friends read this as well, I try to have a little variety. Some random articles, some funny one, and some faltu fart (philosophy). And I sure hope you don’t grow up to be a pain and wonder what an ass of a baap you had, who told the world of the small silly, potentially embarrassing things that you did as a kid. Yaar, I think it’s kinda cute. But sorry if you feel bad about it. The risk is worth taking as I write. The flip side – no blog. And yes I sure sure hope that you find the blog some where worth your while. Full tragedy if you hate it. Even if you do, let me know fast enough. I hope to be writing this well into the future.
Hehehehe. And what else. I hope all is fine with you. Hopefully I am not dead by the time you are reading age for this. But then life is tough. Grind hard and dig hard. No body has it easy. Don’t take solace in other people’s miseries. Learn to have an internal locus of control. Take all what you can on your chest. Take blows and fight on. Don’t make the same error twice and use EVERY opportunity to learn. Every body , every thing teaches. Be smart. And above all – be nice.
I have been reading Satyagraha in South Africa. I cannot explain how bloody profound and brilliant Stayagraha is. The difficulty is in its simplicity. So simple and yet so bloddy difficult. I am trying to use some of its principles somewhere. Some blogs in the future would have some reference to it. Simply put – the truth shall set you free. FREE. What an outstanding feeling. The freedom glow from being above it all, the freedom glow of knowing more. The freedom glow of inner peace. The freedom glow.
Jyada ho gaya nah! Thoda tone down karna chaiye tha. But whattodo? Fart is also free!

principles

defination of principle - ethical standard: a standard of moral or ethical decision-making

Principles are cast in stone? Every person would have a certain set of principles. In fact not having principles is a principal in itself. I normally pride my self in having a set of reasonably set of strong principles. Normally they are not for compromise. Recently one got troubled and I almost moved. Then the moment of truth and back to normal. The moment of truth is one of the most exciting things to happen to someone. It proves faith in the system. The internal system that beats in and out all day long. It defines you. Its always nice to see that the system is tested and strengthened. If it is not tested it will become weak. Thank you wife, thank you god, thank you all. My system works and it’s not for sale. So screw you if you want to buy it. I decide and I stick by it!
That felt good. I don’t feel like writing anymore. This is too much for today. In fact this will stand for a looong time to come.

Jispa Art Mural

Jispa painted her first mural! I always wanted to paint on the walls. So the first thing I did when I got my own walls was allow Jispa to paint on it. I had a Saturday morning free with her and me alone. So we decided to have some fun. She got so excited when I let her know that she could paint a wall on her own. She was like “No sheet? hehehe”. Guess that’s what kids want. Just to do something that was till sometime anathema. So she freaked out on the paintings. In hindsight it looks quite cool. I guess we will do the entire wall and then the entire house. Full on!

See the pic below and see if you can decipher what my kid is painting. Look thru her eyes. Answers below.

1. A building with doors and a hole to see who is at the door. The zig zags are the steps.
2. Simple one – butterfly
3. hahaha bet you did not get this one – crayon
4. Boat
5. Another impossible one, clue lies in the color – grass (with a black outline)
6. Excellent remark – akin to the one her teacher makes on her books.
7. TV
8. Life cycle of a plant – the top of the plant is chopped off by the photo
9. Life cycle of a butterfly. Notice the caterpillar and pupae.
10. Boy in a fighting picture?!!??
11. Six point star.

Any one with a Freudian mind bent wanting to synthesis the same and give me clues on what she is likely to grow up into?

Nirvanic walks

Huffff… yesterday I was a bit later than usual coming into office. As I hit the bus stop I realized that I had only 100 rupee notes and no small change. wuu, whoz gonna argue with the conductor for a 5 re ticket. And listen to gaalis early in the morning… so I thought why not. Let’s walk. I used to walk into office two years back. I stopped when the winter ended. Yes yes… I know it’s just a notional winter in mumbai. It’s never really cold. But atleast you can manage to get to office without having a sweaty wet stinky shirt. I normally walk faster than most but yesterday I decided to slow my pace down a bit. A fair bit actually. I tried noticing the people, structures and other paraphernalia around. It’s interesting to see how people, a majority of them walk and run to office with their eyes looking down. With the city pavements you are always avoiding a hole here, a sewage there, a dog etc. And not to mention plenty and plenty of feet. So every one is walking with eyes down. I don’t even think beside the conversationalists anyone even looks at the heritage buildings. We fret and fume and spend so much agony over whats happening to our heritage. But the guys who work there everyday don’t even care a dam. I think the simpeast way to make people concerned about the heritage is to make them notice it. and the opnly way to make them notice is to get their eyes off the floor. The only way to get their eyes off the floor is to ensure smooth and predictable pathways. This way they walk with their eyes up and see around them. This way more men and women notice each other. The more they like each other, the more hey fall in love, and pronto… World Peace. Ok ok ok…you can’t get rid of Saddam by better pavements… but you sure can ensure beautiful facades. I don’t mind Iraq war as long as I can get a prettier surrounding that I can look at. What say?
Also slowing down walking is almost a nirvanic exercise by itself. You actually need to control your walk steps, breathe a bit, and relax. The world just seems different if you are slower than your normal. Try another stress buster. In the mad rush, just simply follow all traffic rules a s a pedestrian. Cross only at zebra crossings; walk only on pavements, cross only when the green man smiles at you. It is actually a big self control not to walk ahead when the teeming mass behind you is inching forward with a nervous pregnant energy, conquering space and redefining the road available for the car. But resist this force, and feel the energy flowing through. Wait on the footpath and start your cross of the chasm only when the signal turns and you will realize one outstanding fact as you are triumphantly crossing. The pedestrian crossing signal does not give you enough time to cross the road. It is built to discount the fact that you are already half way across. And you suddenly realize you only half way there when the green man disappears and the red man motions you to stop. You swivel right, all the share taxis that run amuck in the morning are aiming for you and you bloody run like mad across the 30% that is left, trying you best to look down so that you don’t trip, look up so that you don’t hit the opposite guy crossing and then building up into an almost flying trapeze jump across the gutter that is always placed at the corner and landing in the arms of the lady who is busy talking on her cell while getting to office (eyes down of course). She gives you the loveliest ugly stare and mental swear you could get in the morning. aha ha… what a nice day….nirvanic exercise was never so touching.

run buddy run, then eat

They all run... they allways do..

Jaagte rahooooooo….. all the old independence era movies would show the ubiquitous watchman trying to do his duty with his nightly calls. I guess today there is a slight variation. It has to be bhaagte rahoooo…. Only for a mega metro like mumbai will a obscure number like 738 make a significant amount of impact, in fact this number is not prayed to will ensure a late entry to office, a missed movie starting climax, a late date, and a possible firing. Many have their own numbers which they live by 642, 827, 956. some of us even have made the code more complex by making it alpha numerical, such as 926 BO, 745 C or 648 P. hmmm. The plot thickens. Because many times the 743 CST is followed by the 1 SPL or is preceded by the 142 or of course the alpha numerical 6 LTD. So the entire sequence is 730 5 LTD 755 CST 1 SPL. A complex piece of action orchestrated with clock work precision.

For the dim witted or the plain sleepy towners who haven’t caught it yet the code (730 5 LTD 755 CST 1 SPL) is broken as:- leave home at 7.30 am to catch the 5 limited bus to get down at the train station to catch the 7.55 Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus local to catch the 1 Special that takes them to Nariman Point. As I said Bhaagte Rahooooooooooooooo.
This two decimal point precision is further fine tuned if you catch the bloody train at CST station. Since the trains start there they have installed huge digital clocks that even show the seconds, so as you enter the station you know that you have exactly 36 seconds left to catch you train, or exactly 48 seconds to run to your compartment and find a place to rest your butt (not park it – seating is not that easy with 48 seconds left). You also know that you have potentially 55 seconds left if you want a plastic vacuum packed bag of peanuts. How? Well 48 seconds for the train to leave and another 7 seconds the boy take borrow as he can jump while the train is just about to leave the platform. Ooohhh. We live the razor’s edge… cool nah! Now all that I want to see is the train timetable showing the train leaving at 6.46.38 am.

While on the peanuts I have always wondered on the way the vendors pack the peanuts that are sold at the station. The nuts are naked and packed in plastic packets that seem to have air sucked out of them. Since we assume that this is not a multi million rupee investment on the plant and that the Nehruvian dream of small scale sector is at full play the only option is….. the guy rubs the dry peanuts with his palm, blows the husk away with the air from his mouth. Then blows inside the plastic to open it, puts the nuts inside and then seals it with the heating element. Now how does he achieve the vacuum? Hmm, the only way is by sucking the air manually before sealing it completely. We are not even on the topic of does the bloody thing gets dry in the first place. Also while on the topic it is interesting to note that thanks to the advent of AIDS, we have a lot of cases of TB among the lower strata of society. This TB is getting worse and s getting increasingly resistant to treatment. So much for a blow by blow account! Pretty cool, nah, how the promise of a 2 rupee peanut snack is so beautifully played out. YA.. Anybody hungry for a snack?

Eat India from delhi to bombay

Trains… lovely thing they are. I always like them and I loved traveling by them. But I guess the demand on time are soo much that I rarely use them these days. Flights are it. flights are so impersonal compared to trains, so bad and ugly. There is some romance left in trains, though I don’t get to see many PYT’s in trains at all.
I went to Delhi in a flight but I came back in train. What a smart decision. The Rajdhani is an awesome experience. They keep feeding you through out the journey. Starting with water, snacks, soups (yes sir with butter and bread sticks) and dinner, with sweet dahi and ice cream. And next day breakfast. Move over cricket, its eating that’s India’s number one entertainer. I could just see all the guys in the trains getting surprised at the platter and entertained purely on the eating. The gastronomical delights score over voyeuristic or even patriotic delights. I am convinced India is born to eat. The clarion call of today’s age is Eat India! Notice how when you go on a date you normally go to eat, when you go with family you eat, when you go to the movie you eat, when you play cricket you eat, when someone dies you eat, when someone marries you eat, on corporate meetings offsites, anything we eat. All this talk about eating is making me feel hungry now. EAT EAT EAT EAT. It is not by sheer co incidence that the longest running TV show in India is, yes sir, Khana Khazana.
Hmmm coming back to the train journey… its nice not to have too much crowd to interact with. I finished a lovely book start to end. It was ‘the making of Sholay – by Anupama Chopra.’ I always liked her writing before. She writes well and the book was a delightful easy read with lots of interesting trivia thrown. A must read for Sholay fans. Aren’t we all… very nice. I read in one flat 4 hour session. I don’t think I have ever read a book start to end without putting it down. This is the first one… I even was laughing in parts. I had to control or risk the train guys thinking me to be mad. Good fun. I suddenly rediscovered train journeys. Will have to somehow figure them in my vacations again. Forced long quality time with Jispa should be quite nice. Only thing is that I used to prefer non a/c, but given the bad hygiene in trains and family, I prefer the A/c. Its far more stress free. Non a/c can get to you at times I guess. I guess, life grows on you. I would want Jispa to back pack on non a/c but I guess it’s ok either ways. The principle being that don’t complain on the heat, dust, pollution, dirt etc. I have been thru much more in my life and I would want her to go thru a lot of it as well. But who knows when she grows up what will happen. I definitely don’t prefer a soft pink chick. But then that’s a dad’s point of view today. When she grows up I might just as well give her money to fly all over. Funny thing this parenting is. Kuch long term plan hi nahin karneka… full ulta ho jayega.

marry more, whack more

Been away for a couple of days and already got mail on why is the blog not being updated. Accha boost hai to my blog… thank you. Keep pushing, dear friends, I really love you guys.
Haan, toh I had been to Delhi to attend a friends wedding. It was a nice good punju wedding held on the open lawns. But man was it cold. Luckily I reached at 3 pm; and I was feeling really cold. It just scared me enough to buy one wool sweater as reinforcement for the evening. Yet I was freezing … next to the fireplace! The fireplace sittings can get interesting as your front feels nice and warm and your butt is frozen solid. So then you turn around and get what you always wanted in life – a really hot ass. And punju weddings get over at 2.45 in the morning. So it’s nice to enjoy the cold. The only thing that got me warm was when we wanted to wring the bloody shoes off the dhula. Let me tell you the entire story. The dhula’s shoes are always on great demand so he exchanged them with his best man. so after the ceremony the ladies wanted to get hold of them. So I simply suggested that they lanch a physical attack. So I got the guy, put him on the floor and well…. attacked. In the mayhem some other best men came to rescue which were effectively warded off by the women tickling. More best men came. In the free for all, the women started attacking me as I was attacking the shoes that they were also attacking, with them thinking that I was protecting what I was actually attacking… whew… so they were tickling me like crazy, but one slight problem… I don’t get tickled. So all I got was very very aggressive pokes. So after clearing the confusion I went about the task of getting the bloody shoes off… wow... wedding scan be fun. A good place to release all the frustration of traveling in crowded trains and office work. Just go to a few weddings and then whack the shit out of people either getting the shoes or protecting them. WOWIE>>> weddings are fun. No wonder I advise all my friends to get married fast. In fact if I enjoy this too much I will ask to get married more often!!!
And also I have no clue why they deck the bride so much. She looks lovely without the entire getup, then why the hell do they mess around, sooooo much. Well she still managed to look pretty inspite of it all and definitely not because it. So when she asked me how she looked. I gave her – you look pretty. But then that was the truth. The whole truth was – you look pretty, but you look prettier without the getup… but it was nice to see her get married. Always a cute thing to see girlfriends getting married.
And I rediscovered the joys of train travel…. More on that to follow...

Jintan and love for the morning

I found Jintan. Any one familiar with the pill? While shifting houses, akin to the ocean churn, one of the things thrown up was a sealed Jintan pack I had bought god knows when. It was good fun. Jintan was my dada’s favorite pocket mouth freshner. It was his standard remedy for me. I was never a great morning starter when I was a kid. I used to get morning sickness. Simply put early morning start on vacations in a car used to bring out the breakfast in me. So in go two Jintan’s in the hope of retaining breakfast (futile) and then in go two Jintan’s to feel better once the breakfast (usually milk) is bubbled out. So the taste of Jintan does remind me of the fond memories of travel with family. Feel funny in the morning, the memory of sticking your head outside the car and feeling the crisp morning air, keeping mouth open to dry, and the typical smell of Indian dhul – mitti. I like that. Its funny how despite being such a bad morning kid I still love and have lovely memories of the morning. I guess it’s because unlike my bro/sis who were busy sleeping and me busy puking. So in hindsight I guess puking was better to sleeping blissfully unaware of mornings, unaware of sunrise, unaware or nip, unaware of haze, unaware of beauty. I have remained a morning person since. I love sunrise, I love leaving before dawn and driving out to catch the sunrise. I guess in hindsight its no wonder I wake up early and am in office by 8.30. One hour before the din arrives. Also with the new house with lots of open spaces around I get to catch the sunrise while driving out (winter I guess). It’s lovely. I love it.
As my father in law like to say - "warning, dont miss the morning".

here is the view every morning as we drive westward.

compassion

While we get to see a lot of pretense we rarely get to see any amount of genuine compassion. We will see a lot of passion or I would like to call it misplaced aggression, but compassion is in short supply. I am always moved by acts of compassion but to incorporate genuine compassion is so difficult. It’s sometimes so funny to see a lot of people get so moved by dead cows, dead kitten and dead dogs etc on the road but would have no qualms eating it…. hahaha its so bloody funny. Compassion my ass….
No, don’t get me wrong here. I am nowhere near compassion as I would like to be. Or would dream to be. I guess many times I like the laws of nature to take their own course. I try not to interfere with it. Let not compassion interfere in what nature has held out. But ya, I try and help if I can. But to actually understand what compassion means is to meet two of the finest individuals god has produced. One – Prem Sundar Narayan, two Rajesh Shadevan. It is thanks to sheer luck that I have come in contact with these gentlemen. These two by sheer force of their nature have changed me in more ways than one. Their ability to touch, heal, change the very people they meet. Their ability to ---I don’t know how to put this ---- subjugate themselves and yet retain themselves is outstanding. Their greatness in their ability to rise without meaning to, or even wanting to. It is by no mean a co incidence that they the best – the very best – brand strategists I know of. For, to understand the brand one has to understand the consumer, and to understand the consumer it is important to have genuine compassion for him and genuine empathy. Only if you are able to feel genuinely will you make a great brand promise and great brand delivery. Which bloody B school / prof will explain compassion as a prerequisite for strategy? Only compassion will let you see beyond your own mind shit and your own preconceived notions of what the consumer wants, needs or feels. So much time is spent by kids trying to figure out brand strategy with a lot of shit and shat thrown in, but people doesn’t realize to be a great brand strategist one needs to be an outstanding human being. Care must be your core virtue for it to translate outward. CARE CONCERN AND COMPASSION. It’s no wonder we find worms and acid in things we eat. It no wonder people are increasingly fickle and disloyal about brand choice. We won’t dare change a doctor / nurse / teacher who is caring, then why would we change a cosmetic, soap, a gel, a food, a drink. We need more Gandhi’s in marketing, and we need more of them in strategy. Sometimes selfish goals can only be achieved by true selflessness. Opposites do reconcile.

hero again

I have written about the hero’s journey before…. I find it so fascinating. I see kids growing up, I see my office colleagues growing up, I see my kid growing up and I see myself growing up. They were just a blur of growth till I understood (in a little way) the journey of the hero. Instead of a blur it seems to be a series of steps leading up the path. Each step small or big shapes up and moulds us. Many of these steps are in the form of success and failures and many more are just break outs of independence or dependence (marrying for one). I have learnt to love to watch these steps in my life. It seems so lovely to see these steps leading to somewhere. The milestones getting planted in the psyche of journey. If viewed as such they seem so much fun. They give to me at least a lovely philosophical angle that makes me smile, that makes me resilient, that makes me believe in myself as a hero. The hero of the journey that I have to complete. It is so like the fantastical tale where the hero overcomes many odds to win the princess. Which reminds me of the story I once wrote for the college magazine. The story was a very simple fantasy tale with witches and dungeons thrown in. nothing separated the story form the Hans Christian Anderson tales Except for the ending. Here the hero in his last swish of the sword is about to slay the evil witch and chooses to forgive. I forget what really happens but in his act of forgiveness he resurrects someone something….. the editor of the magazine in all his wisdom edits the story and kills the witch and publishes it. What a cracko… I still feel so shitty about this. Why do we impose our own ideas and paradigms on the world. Why the fuck do we not let people be. We should just let people explore and form their own paradigms. Recast your own rules. Change is about making it happen. If it requires you to graft in and dig hard… so be it. But make it happen. Take your time, graft harder but make it happen. Bhen kiii… after all it’s your journey and your choice. Aaagggghhhhhhh…. What the hell… if you choose not to change the world, and flow with tide…. That’s also ok re… sab chalta hai life mein… itna bhi complex nahin na hai. Just get a rule that simplifies the entire life as you see it. the journey story works well for me. It simplifies the entire growing up and taking shit and happiness bit. That’s a large part of my life. Ma ki aa… itna variables hai ki at least the rule must be simple to see all in one lens.

poetry blogs, photo blogs

I was reading some random blogs today and caught my friend blogging. Quite a nice blog. I have linked her here without her permission. (I am not sure she will mind or not. But heck, it’s nice and on public domain) She clicks great pix too... hmmm, I always knew she was immensely talented, but somewhere I felt she is not using her strengths enough. Too much thinking can many ways be a bad thing. But hell, that’s not what I wanted to do. some blogs are lovely. I like the way she wrote. A lot of talking to her self almost great poetry. Similar to what quite a few blogs write. Some how I realize while I love that writing, I don’t quite write like that. I dunno! what is my style? I think it’s much like talking to other people than my self? Or is it talking to myself ‘my style’. One will only have to see.
I click a large number of photos, thanks to digital cameras; but for some reasons I only upload the ones I click on my phone – why do I do that? I dunno! But putting up some snaps might be interesting, I guess. They are not too bad as well.
The recent offsite at Shimla I clicked quite a few snaps and almost none of Shimla. I am quite bored of clicking scenery. I life people snaps, emotion snaps and ‘that moment’ snaps. Why? I dunno!
Lets see, let me upload a few. Also the big thing for me is that since a lot of my snaps are of people, I fell almost breach of privacy to upload them. Since I also click when they are not noticing – thanks to 12X optical zoom, I make it a point to first show them the snaps. Some real lovely snaps are therefore quite private. Hmmmmm. What to do? I dunno! I guess I will just start a new blog exclusive to photos.



Well at least there is one snap that I can show you guys. Jispa’s amazing drawing and imagination skills. Do try and guess what she has drawn -------------------------------------------------

it’s actually a snail with a cake on top with a cherry on top of the cake. You figure where is what. Also while we understand the cherry on the cake its up to you to figure out why is the snail carrying the cake. GO ASK HER!