lovely tree

Ficus trees such as pipal are important for a forest is what I learnt at one of the nature walks I had been for. They encourage bird life etc etc… I too noticed a lot of birds around such trees, eating fruit, nesting etc.. I loved these trees and I wished for them to be everywhere. But they come with a small caution. What caution? I parked under one of these for around 36 hours. This is what happened. Well it probably is the wrong season, I guess.. must be fruits blossoming, attracting more birds hence more poo… I don’t know.. Not that I mind too much. I just pity the poor guy who washes the car. Though visibility was an issue later.

what say?

Jasmine had a Jispa experience – man evolved from apes – ya – then there was first man and women – ya – and from them all humans evolved – ya – so then why do know so less people. Aaaaaa. Jasmine answers – well .. uhh… that’s because there are so many people and its not possible to know all. Why, you don’t even know my father’s sisters kids, do you?
I was lucky not be around or be at the receiving end of this one. Good thing her train stopped there. God knows where it could have gone. Her mind works 24X7. Constantly working, thinking, inferring. Good for her. She will grow older faster…

This is taken at Marine Drive. One of our favorite haunts. Nice buzz the place has. It is also a source for many of our memories. Our college was nearby and the courtship ritual did involve a walk on this drive way.
Marine drive has undergone a bit of make over. They tiled the place. While I would have loved a bit of color in the tiles I am not complaining too much. Atleast while laying the tiles they managed to put in a pattern which I find quite nice to look at. Thick tiles slowly becoming thin and then back to think again…. and so on…

A lot of pavements in Mumbai have been tiled red with yellow lines. But then they get dug up soon enough and the tiles are replaced haphazardly. You can see the yellow lines pattern on the top disintegrating soon enough. A metaphor for the civic services, perhaps.

After we gujjus put sev on everything we are now ready to cheese everything. If its fat, sinful, fattening and bad for health – give us more!

it's your flame

I am not convinced of the dynastic tendencies that are prevalent everywhere, whether they are in corporates or in politics. Our tendency to eulogize and patronize them leaves me a little unsure. Is our need for predictability and order forcing us to follow and be led by them? I don’t know. I understand the paternal and conservationist instincts of the leaders who promote their kin. But what is our excuse for blindly accepting them? In politics the current heir apparent to the first family of India seems to be taking the right steps to get his party out of the quagmire it finds itself in. In a party that lost its way briefly largely due to the infighting and territorial tendencies of its second rung, it probably required a surname to unite it and talk crucial decisions. Sometimes being decisive in battle is more important that weighty argument that follows turfism. Should the logical heir be a blood line? Who does the organization belong to any ways? Normally the sharply analytical Tarun Tejpal from Tehelka is pretty incisive with his searing insight. But to see him write these lines for the current Congress head was largely disappointing:
“And yes, as I bid you speed and strength, with the extra god by your side, may I make a final plea. You have given us of yourself, and of your son. Now will you kindly also give unto us your luminous daughter.”
Not that I have anything against the daughter joining in. Sure all able hands and heads are welcome. But only if he had read Shoma Chaudhury’s piece in the same issue where she talks about Rahul and the systems he is bringing in, to the once beleaguered party. She writes:
“In an innovative move geared to revive the dead old party root upwards, he hired a firm run by JM Lyngdoh and KJ Rao — former election commissioners and men of impeccable reputation — to run intra-party elections for the Youth Congress and the party’s student body, the NSUI. In the recruitment drives preceding these elections, threeand- a-half lakh new members have been signed on in Punjab; more than six lakhs in Gujarat. Sixty-five thousand new student members in Uttarakhand. Tamil Nadu and Pondicherry are next. Oxygen is coursing through the party.
“You get a true measure of Rahul if you ask the bright young people around him why they have given up brilliant futures to work in his core team,” says Lyngdoh. “As for intra-party elections overseen by an independent body, why has no party tried this before in 62 years? Every party should follow this now. It will strengthen the roots of democracy in India.” Says Rao, “We told Rahul people with criminal records should not be allowed to stand for party posts. He agreed immediately. He has also supported independent audits and complete transparency. What this means is that people doing actual grassroot work now have a chance to get elected into positions of power.”
That’s my point. Work at the grassroots and enable a system that allows, no, pushes able leaders to emerge. Those who have performed under harsh environments and worked for the cause while seeing the real bottom. That is the challenge. I wish Tarun had asked for system for more such leaders to emerge. One lucky dynastic roulette does not make a rule. Surely easier said than done, but running a country is not for the faint hearted.
I would want Jispa to take her own call, do her own thing and follow her own calling. Should she look at us as role models? May be for some traits/ behaviors, but career? I don’t think so. Look out beyond. Sometimes parents want their child to follow in their footsteps or reverse – be what they aimed for but never could be. Among the things that I thought I could have been but never could be was a nuclear physicist. I loved physics and still love it. Why dint I follow it? Too lazy, severely limited ability… hehehe. But that is one career option I would like to see. But when did what I like begin to count in any way!

ortho pra... what was that again?

Orthopraxy is a term derived from Greek (ὀρθοπραξις) meaning "correct action/activity", and is a religion that places emphasis on conduct, both ethical and liturgical, as opposed to faith or grace etc. This contrasts with orthodoxy, emphasizing a correct belief, and ritualism, the use of rituals.
Gandhiism is orthopraxic versus orthodox. Jainism which we followed since our childhood was fed almost as orthodoxic to us. Why? Why do not teach our children the power of correct action over ritual. As kids we really at some point went foul of all these practices and switched off pretty soon. We rebelled soon enough. It’s a wonder we didn’t get atheist. To my mind Jainism is as orthopraxic as can get.
As kids we loved rituals so much that we even copied the rituals of cricketers. So we might wear / use their brand of sports goods but not their sport ethic
Hinduism per say is also orthopraxic but it is sadly too steeped in rituals today and has become the beacon of orthodox practice and dogma. Everything in religion must be questioned. No doctrine can be taken as sacred. It must appeal to your inner core. Whether your core is right brained or left. When you understand your inner core and are able to find a doctrine that matches it, I guess peace will spring? Is that why people are drawn to religion? If that is so then why religion must be given by birth? Should not choosing religion be a rite of passage; to be chosen once you assume greater understanding of your inner core? Shouldn’t the religion as a child be different from that as a teen and then as an adult… I would assume that an inner core does not change significantly but the manifestations it assumes over a period of time vary. At different age cycles different elements of your personality are dominant or dormant, thus shaping your belief system and behavior. They might not be too different but enough I assume to move between religions.
Such a long discourse on religion? From me? I must shot in the brains. Jasmine and I realized one day, that in our house we don’t even have a temple, no matter how small. No small statue / image / sticker of anything that anyway resembles an act of faith or god. Well a Christmas tree in the attic does not actually count, does it? Does that make us less religious.
All this is fine as intellectual conversation. It is important to understand your core and ideal and be true to it at all times. How many of us believe ourselves to be nice and fluffy but are unable to live up to it when the test comes calling. I have let myself down a zillion times. All I hope is that I don’t the commit same let downs over again. Hopefully this will make me a better person.

riddle me ree

Here is Jispa’s reminder list for mom. On one of the Thursdays, she did not have her co curricular activity and hence would have come home by lunch… hence the instructions – no co curricular activity, cook lunch at home, pick her up at 1 pm, and count her while cooking lunch!

Well go on decipher this one:-
"Jispa Pooh Both Doshi". Poor Pooh. Now he is a Gujju! He will start having gathia and sev for breakfast.

Why do railway timetables posted on the platforms need to have ‘signing’ authority names printed on them? Wouldn’t we have believed them either way?


Look at the line for the bus. It was supposed to go straight on the footpath. It mysteriously turned towards the road hindering some of the buses. Why? Blame the commuters… Cant they stand in line?… well the answer will be easy for a common commuter, some drunk guy puked on the footpath and its still there – the puke that is. Hence to avoid it the line turns. Who do you blame now?

adventure is thy name

Jispa learnt swimming and cycling ahead of her contemporaries. And generally she seems to be learning stuff faster. Are we to be praised? While I would take some credit but a lot goes to her. As a child I feel she is more open and adventurous, she is ready to be pushed out of her comfort zone. I do see a sense of adventure. It’s not that apparent but on prodding it does come out. She is not the kid who will happily be in her comfort zone ignoring the fun happing around. She is willing to go in pursuit. She picks these cues of adventure from others and continues on. She learn to not find earth worms yuck thanks to her cousin, she loved dogs and petting them from her kaki, and so on. I keep pushing her. I finally once got her to touch a snake at a zoo and at a snake catchers place. So now smaller insects etc don’t bother her too much as well. The other day we were trying to get an earthworm onto our hands. I would hate to grow up to be an ‘eeeeeee-aieeee-its- a-worm’ type of girl. She is literally named for adventure. I would love her continue that streak. Jasmine hates this animal lover stuff. She can’t touch random insects. I am normally ambivalent about these things but thanks to Jispa I am getting I push myself.
Ability to move out of your comfort zone regularly is a wonderful quality she has that I would like to hone and develop. Keep going.

culture vulture

A squash racquet. A ha…swish it round like the Excalibur! Nice and light. 120 titanium nano from Head. Feels good to buy expensive sports gear. At three and a half k, it’s probably the most expensive gear I have bought. And wonder of wonder it improved my game a lot. Especially the weaker back hand. Nice… good fun.
There is only one squash court at the gymkhana resulting in a bit of waiting every time. Also thanks to this and the coach, the court has a great play ethic. You have to play in line and with whoever is next. This would mean that even beginners play with pros. Sure, an absolute beginner is normally taught to by the coach but soon enough he starts playing on his own. The pros too recognize this and play a low enough level to ensure a game for the rookie. Sometimes the pros get compensated by getting an extra game with someone of his caliber. If you want to play only the pros then you better wait long enough, thus snubbing out all such intent. But largely the ethic remains strong and inclusive, thus allowing for a positive atmosphere. Typically otherwise closed cults are formed and people get anal retentive, close ranks refusing to let outsiders play, creating a hold on resources. I have heard of the badminton guys doing this in the morning. This same stuff used to happen even in galli cricket games. Some teams always wanted to get in new players and used to ask new kids on the block to join them, while the others simply refused to allow others a way in. I have learnt to be inclusive. Culture is a squeeze. Be it in gymkhanas, sports teams, clubs, families or corporates. Strong cultures create pressures that those who conform to, love and those who don’t are ejected. You either fit in and mould yourself to it or, phachak… you get ejected a la soap in a shower. I guess it’s the reason for stickiness and turn over. Understanding a culture is important but creating a powerful culture is also important. Within a set culture you can form your own subset. You have to take pains to create it, eject malignant spoilers and constantly watch it. It is important for the culture to be protected. You create the culture and the culture will take care of the people in the network. If you don’t keep a tight tab on it, it will come to bite you in the bum. I will never allow for infighting and will not tolerate name calling / back biting within the team. It’s a reason why the team can remain apolitical and perform under stress. Honesty in dealings and removal of all pettiness is so dam important as well. This is something that works across all groups. Just because the overall environment might be vile does not allow you the liberty o create a virulent atmosphere yourself amongst your team. Don’t spread the virus, stop it right away.

play the game

The reason I probably played cricket for my office was because I could clear the field to any ball being pitched up to me. The main reason I continue it is because it gives me an amazing insight into team dynamics and situations. It is an amazing game that lends itself to strategy over a longer period of time. I miss that when I play squash. That is a different game. It is an individual skill game pitted against your opponent, with tons of sleight thrown in. And I would assume a game like golf will be at the opposite end of the spectrum. These vary in their need to react with the environment. In cricket you keep yourself open at all points to the environment. The situation of the team, the bowlers you play, the condition of the ground everything while focusing on your own game. It is quite a flip flop when you take in the big picture, make mental notes and immediately almost blank out and focus on next ball and play appropriately. Your metal note shelp you play appropriately. A big shot or a dour defensive. Squash means playing in your zone while keeping track of opponent’s movement and probable shot play. You constantly try to refine your game and make the opponent play to his weakness or take advantage of his position on court. Drop shot, wall shot, low winner, lob… it is a play between what you can play and what will make life difficult for the opponent. Golf is between you, the ball and the course.
Different games do different things. I am glad I played cricket for what it’s worth, I am glad I play squash. No golf yet but might to pick on similar sports like shooting or something that would help me play ‘inside my self’ more than anything else. That should be fun. No leadership, no captainship, nothing. The opponent is incidental. It’s you and your target. I guess if I swim / run with target a target time in mind the mental make up should come close. Trekking would also be similar but not the same. Now rock climbing – yup that would be something. That is also such an internal sport I assume.
All three types of sports are important to help unravel a part of your personality, if you are paying attention and if you reflect. Putting yourself in a myriad variety of situations help you understand you subtexts and help you learn, change and reinforce. Sport has helped me learn a lot. Absorb a lot. I also suspect it has helped my refine my thoughts and helped me shape my personality. For better of for worse :) I wouldn’t want to give it up for anything else in the world.

Bear me out

It’s a long day for bicharo Pooh. Here he is sleeping at night, comforted by Jispa, or is it the other way around… hard to really tell. How can you choose from two peas in a pod? Quite a random quote, wasn’t it?
But here they are…
There he is all set seat belt tied, pillow ahead as a blanket; the air conditioning is a bit cold for him, never mind the fact that he is a bear with polar fleece as skin. He still can feel cold. Even a bear has rights you know.

At breakfast. What? Of course he gets hungry. He has a bear’s appetite. But he is quite content to share Jispa’s plate. The bear necessities of life!

Nothing like a good read, huh! He is a little slow on the reading bit, but I guess with Jispa reading to him he should pick up fast. He likes the stories she reads. Many times he is just content to look at the pictures in the book that Jispa is reading. Sometimes he does get a bit distracted and looks around, at the people, more at their feet I guess.


But one thing is for sure. He likes to move around a bit. He is quite a restless child in the car. Sometimes in the boot in his box. A shoe box for the pint size Pooh.


Jispa is quite a sweet kid; she doesn’t mind sharing her stuff with Pooh. Pooh found the day a bit sunny, to say the least.

He does travel a fair bit. But he is comfortable most of the time. Not too fussy for a bear.

Back to sleep again….
Whew, all in a days work!

paisa yeh paisa

Yesterday the markets went into a tizzy thanks to a stable mandate being voting the Congress to power. It froze trading in 60 seconds by hitting the upper circuit. Not that I disapprove but this is the very stable government that controlled India for many years and created a corrupt and controlled bureaucracy. They kept pouring crores of rupees down schemes and yognas meant for the poor, the farmer, the down trodden and guess what, those poor guys remained there. And they continue to do that. I saw it all the budgets of the last five years. Yognas / schemes / plan and poor. Well ok, at least a notionally secular party with a ‘centerist’ ideology is there. But thanks to the markets overreacting I heard a lovely quote ‘the fear of losing capital has made way to fear of losing gains.’ Trust Shashank to come up with absolutely grounded one liners! Which reminds me of another one – the markets can stay wrong longer than you can remain solvent.
After being associated with equities and the wealth market for 8 years as a professional and over 15 years as a self respecting gujju, I have a slight distaste for making money. I like money but some how I don’t like making money. Gains don’t give me a constant high. I don’t count my net worth daily. I am not too unperturbed on losing opportunities. I don’t spend time hunting over the next money making scheme.
That’s where I thank Jasmine. She never was enamored by it in the first place. And now so far Jispa isn’t asking for it either! I rather spend my time being with family. I rather not be defined by my work.

wise one

A wise lady once told me. Look at the dogs. They are so lucky. All they have to do is pee twice and their home is done. One here and one there. That is their home. They don’t have to spend money, build anything. That wise lady was my daughter talking to me in the morning while I was dropping her off to her bus stop.
She seemed to have cracked the secret of life viz simplicity. If you want to happy, piss on it!
With her sparkling insight, amazing logic and simple parallels, I think she has great potential to be a spiritual guru. Watch out Deepak!

Clinical

I was at a clinic today morning for medical check. A couple of receptionists were talking to each other. One was in tears. Sweet little thing she was. From what I could make out, I think one of the doctors told her something / pulled her up and hence the tears. She was then in charge of talking my treadmill ECG test. I was so tempted to talk to her. She was obviously a younger worker. I wanted to tell her... go ahead and cry as much as you want… soon enough all tears will dry off. Mine have dried up this way as well. You will realize that when you are out there, face to face with the world, you are pretty much alone and crying just is a waste of emotion. I just tried to make some conversation, smile a bit, and get her to smile. People respond magically to smiles. I don’t know if I have the aura to pull off a ‘Munnabhai’ but I did my bit. Emotion is best controlled by change of focus I guess.
Treadmill tests are also fun. They keep increasing the speed and the incline and I can keep going on. The guys are programmed to stop the machine when the patient says he’s had enough. So they keep asking if you are ok. Sure I am ok. I go on like this for 20/30 minutes…the doctor came in and said enough. One more bar for my ego!
These clinics are so sterile environments. Absolutely boring. While lying down for one type of ECG I wondered why we can’t have ceiling art. That’s the only thing you see in a clinic. Messaging every where, small jokes, wise ones, sayings… they all have a role to play. Mix them enough and keep the mind occupied. And use splash of color, voila!
Another irritant is that the treadmill follows the fasting sugar test. At least leave a drink at the treadmill. A cheese cube perhaps. Offer tea, three glucose biscuits, humble chikki… it can’t cost that much!

From the below photograph it obvious who goes to gymnastic class.

dream a little dream for me

Jispa woke me up early morning. Poor thing. She was getting bad dreams. Cute cute Bingo, the dog she feeds every morning was biting her. Oh ohhh… that is bad. So I took her back to her bed. Comforted her a bit. Clearly she didn’t like the dream. I was telling her a bad dream is just that … a bad dream.”why don’t you just change your dream. Think that bingo is no longer biting you but petting you” I can change my dreams, so I was hoping she can too. “why do we get bad dreams?” she asks. “Well...” answering that question at 2 a.m. is a little tough. “sometimes when you are thinking too much, and you think of something bad happening, then you think that in your dream. Then you get bad dreams. It’s just your brain thinking.” “I got it. When you are thinking at night it is a dream. In the morning when you are thinking it is thinking”. “ya……goodnight Jispa” “good night dad, thank you papa”. I never knew being woken up at 2 am would be such a light feeling!

I dont know how to upload only MP3's hence the you tube videos. ignore the video bit just listen....



and then this one. one dedicated to Jasmine and one to Jispa :)




Another year another annual results for the employees. Me thinks it getting to be a bore but its always head bloating when you get tons of appreciative mail and when I put in subliminal stuff that only I can understand. Faltu kinky happiness I get. I get special kicks when people take it seriously. I turn this stuff around in an hour max. What does it take to write nonsense? And this time around I even drew the images in it.

memories

I don’t know why hearing this song gives me goose bumps… I just don’t know why….. I love this song…. Probably because I heard it as a kid over and over again thanks to my brother who had adopted it as his anthem. And we had one player and one room and so what ever he liked I heard. What luck he had decent taste in music.

oh come off it, it's just a bag

These are two pictures of Jispa when she is off to school. What is so interesting about it? Go on think, look closely. Well. Give up? The zips are all on one side and the bottle is on the other side. What is so interesting about it? I don’t know. THIS is how it should be. Ok. Whatever you say.


This is a bag that was gifted to me by my friend Mort. He and his wife run an interesting gallery called Chatterjee & Lal that focuses on new upcoming art. I keep getting their mails and I am quite enthralled by the stuff that they keep identifying. I don’t know why in the middle of all the work I have never once managed to go there. I should be. I hope to have some art hanging around my home someday. Right now my current home hardly has any walls. But will figure…
Coming back to the bag. I love this bag. It is perfect combination of character ethic and personality ethic. It is what you want it to be. Functional or attitude… it is the eye of the beholder that decides. Opposites Reconcile.

Here is an extract from a website http://www.profitadvisors.com/in_out.shtml that outlines character v/s personality ethic. We used to us eth phrase quite commonly while in Momentum Consulting. Calling each others actions as per the ethic we deem fit. It was quite amusing.
There have been two dominant theories of achieving success in the literature of the past 200 years, the personality ethic and the character ethic. The personality ethic has been in the forefront since World War I. Previously, the character ethic was dominant.
According to the character ethic, it is most important to focus on integrating the principles of effective living into one's character. This may be a long-term process, but working on the character, including an effective view of the world, is getting at the root from which behavior flows and so is fundamental. The character ethic sees individual development as a long-term process bearing results according to the law of the harvest.
According to the personality ethic, there are skills and techniques one may learn and a public image, personality and attitudes one may develop that result in success. The problem is, eventually we may be discovered as insincere and shallow. These ideas may be helpful when they flow naturally from a good character and the right motives, but they are secondary.
A paradigm is a model, theory or explanation of something else. It is the "lens" of our preconceived notions through which we view the world. If our paradigm is not close to reality, our attitudes, behaviors and responses will not be effective or appropriate. We will be as lost as a person trying to function in Chicago with a map of New York. We can only accomplish quantum improvement in our lives if we accomplish a paradigm shift resulting in a more accurate and effective view of the world. Some paradigm shifts may be fast (a blinding flash of the obvious), some are more slow (a change in character).
The Seven Habits is a principle-centered paradigm. Principles are guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value -- they are fundamental.

Not too soon

On Saturday we left for a visit just off pune, to Jadhav Garh. Its quite a nice property. They have restored an old fort and it’s a smallish place but well restored and touched up. Going for the drive with family is decent enough incentive. Every time I end up driving most of the time as I don’t really mind and I guess it’s the male thing to do. But I hate it when I hit the roads in Mumbai and I like to give to Jasmine. She complains that I just drive the mind dead freeways and hand over the bad traffic to her. This time I gave her the wheel as soon as we hit the Expressway on the way back. It was pretty cool to doze off in the next seat. I should do this more often.
We enjoyed the place. It’s a good retreat for a couple of nights. Quite a relaxed one. With no TV at home we hardly do watch TV at the hotels itself. And when we do, it becomes a three way fight with Jispa wanting kiddie stuff, Jasmine for music or stage shows and me going for sports. With Jispa and Jasmine both settling on 9XM for music I get voted out. Now I am forced to watch Bollywood videos being churned out in between funny fillers. These fights help us reiterate our promise never to get a TV at home. The other thing we realized that in the last two and half years the TV and its ubiquitous TV remote has gotten pretty hep as well. We saw games, selection of movies, radio, etc on the TV. And we saw a remote like none other. So many options. It took us a few minutes trying to figure out the keys. We still got it wrong a few times. We shut out the TV a couple of time. But give us some time. We too will get there. Not too soon though.

shit happens

Resilience
The physical property of a material that can return to its original shape or position after deformation that does not exceed its elastic limit
An occurrence of rebounding or springing back
Resilience is the property of a material to absorb energy when it is deformed elastically and then, upon unloading to have this energy recovered. In other words, it is the maximum energy per unit volume that can be elastically stored.
Resilience in psychology is the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and catastrophe. It is also used to indicate a characteristic of resistance to future negative events. In this sense "resilience" corresponds to cumulative "protective factors" and is used in opposition to cumulative "risk factors". The phrase "risk and resilience"' in this area of study is quite common. Commonly used terms, which are essentially synonymous within psychology, are "resilience", "psychological resilience", "emotional resilience", "hardiness", and "resourcefulness".
The mental ability to recover quickly from depression, illness or misfortune.
The physical property of material that can resume its shape after being stretched or deformed; elasticity.
The positive ability of a system or company to adapt itself to the consequences of a catastrophic failure caused by power outage, a fire, a bomb or similar.

Escapist
Intended for or tending toward escape; especially, used to avoid, deny, or forget about reality, as through fantasy
Someone who wants to escape; especially from reality
Escapism (an inclination to retreat from unpleasant realities through diversion or fantasy)
A person who escapes into a world of fantasy

axiomatic

We have three microwaves in the office pantry. Two are behind the counter and one is in front of it. The two are meant for the pantry staff to heat the food and give and the one outside is meant for the employees to heat their own lunch. The dabbawalla has been giving me the slip and hence these days I am carrying my own lunch to work. This means quite cold lunch which needs some reheating in the office microwave. So I have been reheating my food and gulping it down. Since yesterday the microwave outside has been spoilt which means I have had to give the food to the pantry staff for reheating. Today I told them to just shift one of the working ones outside so that it easier for them. The junior merely looked at his senior who said “only you used to use that microwave outside”. Huh? “Everyone else gives US the food for reheating”. What hell? The plates are outside, the spoons are outside. All one has to do is to transfer the food and reheat it on your own. Why would you want to give it to someone else? Its so dam easy to do it. I guess I am a little do it yourself kind of guy. This side of the world there is enough cheap labour for everything and this labour is also ready to do anything. I am sure in the west they would have been pointed to the micro outside. A lot of these ‘self reliant’ thoughts were formed well in advance. I hated to let the servants do too much for me. Its something I like Jispa to learn as well. She is amongst the few kids we know in her circle without a maid. Everyone else has one to piggy back upon. The maid runs for them, gives them water and food on demand, plays with them, follows them to parks, gardens, movies parties, holidays, vacations…everywhere. Jasmine and I, I guess, just prefer to do our own thing. I also learnt to do a lot of my house work from my father. There is no problem doing the dishes, cleaning up after food or having your wife stay up late to serve you. You just get on without disturbing too many people. I first realized this cultural mismatch at my in laws. First the males would sit to eat while being served by the women. They would then sit later. Especially when guests came in. very rarely has the entire family sat in together for the meals. Whereas I prefer everyone sitting in and eating together. The rotis might be a bit less warm but the dinning table conversation will be warmer. Dinner together was the rule when I grew up. Since dinner together is almost impossible in Mumbai given the timelines, I am trying to enforce a breakfast together rule. Jasmine undergoes some stress on this with all her work starting off in the morning but I think it should work. I just have to be at it everyday. I don’t mind being the enforcer in this regard. The axiom - a family that eats together, stays together

understandably rebelious?

When we were much younger we hated to attend marriages. We hardly knew any one. we only met irritating aunts and uncles we didn’t know. The only things they did was pull our cheeks and ask us “audhkhe khe?” (recognize me?). no pea brain. I am 10 years old. I met you once in bad light conditions and then on you have grown balder, fatter and older. I would only remember you if you had an annoying habit like plucking you nose hair, belching after food, and acting shy at the lunch table before going on to gulp 4 rasgullas. Else why would I know you? If I knew of you, I would have answer to the next question “kaun chu, hun?” (Who am I?). Either you are an insignificant grain of my complex adolescence or call you by the quirk of name that follows your habit – uncle burpo, or farto or whatever we remember you by. Inevitably the answer we would shyly mutter – ‘I don’t know; who (on hell) are you uncle?’ acting almost apologetically angelical. It was easier to avoid this marriage mess. Mom you go. Why should I come? I don’t know the bride or the groom or anyone in between. The tweens were an irrationally rebellious age profile.
On Sunday we were to go for a colleague’s marriage. On Saturday Jispa wanted to stay over at her cousin’s place. I told her about the marriage we have to go for. Her repartee was instant “I don’t want to come. Its so boring. I don’t know any one. Why do you have to go for a silly marriage?” I didn’t know that the irrationally rebellious age started this early these days.
Ok fair. I remember my childhood. You can stay with your cousins and enjoy. We are going. Bye.

Fastbreak

Sighhh… back to office from a four day break. One for elections, one for May day and the other two being weekends. They came and went in a breeze. Fast break... get it? hahahaha...
Who do you vote for in elections? In the absence of real issues and choice do you vote for a national party or the independents? Do you vote against a party or for one? Must you believe that you must make your vote count and vote only amongst the candidates that have a chance thus making it count for more? All theories are equally good. Voting is a personal choice. Whatever your theory it’s probably good; propounding your theory to others… probably bad. Whenever I vote I do get a bit emotional. I can scarcely believe that thousands of people gave up their lives and much more so that we have this right. Post independence a lot has been denied to us but on one yet has taken this right from us. It is a democracy’s oasis in the midst of totalitarian deserts. Hehehe. That came out a bit more poetic that intended.
Jispa is a compulsive reader. She reads hoardings, wall paintings, packets anything. Now she has started reading Hindi as well. She was showing me the alphabet ‘zuh’ in Hindi painted on the booth. ‘Did you learn it at school?’ ‘no.. It’s on the milk carton. The milk name is amul taaza. It is also written in Hindi. So I know it’s ta and za. So I know this one is ‘zuh’’ ‘uhhh. Ok. Cool’ am I getting used to her brains? I just hope her teachers don’t drag us to school to tell us not to teach her ahead of the class. This time we weren’t doing anything extra. It’s her kidas… not ours. Honest.
Yesterday we sent to Pune to attend a wedding. The bride was three months pregnant. Don’t get too scandalized. The poor couple had gotten married earlier in a simple court marriage as the groom’s father was unwell. Now they wanted to have the full scale wedding done. Parents too have stupid fixations. I pity the bride. Three months pregnant and going through the ordeal of an Indian wedding. Bending down a zillion times to touch the feet of the elders. I told the groom to take it easy on the genuflection, for his wife’s sake.
It was also the first time that I saw a woman photographer at a wedding. not that it should make a difference, but it’s the first instance that I saw one. Yay, yay…
Here is a photo at someone’s desk of a currently in rage spiritual guru. Notice the not so subtle transformation from God man to God in three simple steps. Cool nah!