chocolate tale

Whoops I did it again… what? Something ridiculously stupid. I have had the 99% dark chocolate with me for the longest possible time. I have slowly, a tiny piece at a time. Not that I savour it like that but that’s all one can have at once.
The last piece was left today to savour. I had kept it aside when I got the call for lunch from my colleagues. Instead of leaving it around somewhere on the table, I thought I might leave it somewhere I would be able to see it as soon as I am back. I left it on the laptop next to the touchpad. When I came back – the sun was coming through the window on the laptop and I then hit my head. Oh shit. I touched it with fear. Sure enough, my finger went right in. It had melted right on the laptop. Oh god. Ok.. I scooped it up and savoured it one finger at a time. What? I was not going to let my last bit of 99% cocoa go to waste.
Here it is after the first two scoops.
This poor bar lasted me so long and gave me so much happiness and other poor victims so much grief. One new joinee had it and at the time made no visible sign of distaste. Today nearly a month later she explained how vile it was. Hehehe. What to do. Like some Ms India contestant she held her nerve at the time of test and faced discomfort rather than spit it out. Wah wah. One step towards …world peace.

Now to buy some other really dark chocolate and have it bit by bit. I am not sure if I might be ever tempted to buy 99% dark but 85% will taste like a sugar factory.

an old shave

This one is ridiculously funny. I couldn’t believe it. We are separated by miles of earth, completely poles apart as far as culture and origin is concerned. Vago connection – he has an Indian wife I think. But the feeling is bang on. Having a razor handle is an investment I somehow really don’t want to let go of. So I end up having the older razors.
The thing is that I don’t have a tough beard. It’s a pretty soft beard and I hate shaving. I try and shave every third day at best. Sometimes its once a week. I am normally extremely bored to shave. The older I get the lesser I shave. So my blades last me months. Three, four, five, six months. And I don’t normally get cut while shaving. Only when the shave gets a bit rough and I feel a bit burned, would I get out my new blades. I just find it so cool to really extend my blade life.
The same goes for my shaving foams. I can get through one foam can for over a year. I just don’t understand how people use one can a month. I guess they like to shave everyday with a lot of foam and then they shave twice at the same time. Wow. That reminds me of myself at 15.
Also I have never bought a razor handle in my life. I have only used the ones that people gifted to me. I have one that I recently threw that a friend gave me in 1996. That’s 14 years of service. It was a Gillette mach 2. It was complete drool stuff at the time. They weren’t still freely available in India. The friend had got it as a gift from his relative abroad.
The other razor handles were also gifted to me. I upgraded my self to the all new mach three thanks to my well wishers I guess. With a majority of Jasmine’s relatives in US, shaving innovations are on the top of the list of giftables to poor Indians. Now that the realisation has sunk in with them that we are less deprived, the shaving stuff has far reduced. Thanks to that and my miserly usage, I have never bought a foam bottle also my entire life. Hehehe.
The only foam bottle I bought was a small travelling one and that too is now lying in waste as I stopped shaving while travelling. Invariably I come back from a vacation with a stubble.
To overcome my inertia these days I have started shaving while in the shower. I don’t even have to look at the mirror. I just soap the beard a little and take the blade over it. A quick check in the mirror and I am done. No need for an elaborate setting.
So now even my aftershaves are really really old.
As far as the squash ball is concerned – I don’t throw them unless they tear. Dan has got both the examples absolutely bang on.

a little less sleep, a lot more thought

I have been getting all sleepy these days thanks to a little less sleep everyday. The reason - two back to back fantastic books. One I finished was called Logicomix – a graphic novel that traces Bertrand Russel’s quest for the foundation of mathematics. As dense as it sounds, I guess most the book I could not really claim to have understood in depth. Most of it would have been understood in spirit. I basically understood what the premise is and what the large issue was. But I know only enough to know of it and nod enough to speak of it. But that’s also a big thing.
Maths and physics were easily my favourite subjects. Scared stiff by the engineering competitions I choose to take up commerce and reduce all possible future tension. For the next five years at least. Till I figured that it led no where and I did my MBA. That the MBA also went no where is another matter altogether.
So whenever I get my hands on a half decent physics or math book which is written in a manner that a tenth pass can understand then I am completely keen and sold on. Some of my interesting books have been the dead famous series on Newton and Einstein along with the book that is essential the biography of the equation e=mc^2.
Once Logicomix got over, the book I picked was the Singapore story by Lee Kuan Yew. I have been a great admirer of his, especially after I had personally seen for myself the amazing city of Singapore. While there are enough critics but there is no reason to doubt the integrity of the man and the progress of the people.
I have just started the book and it is immediately a compelling read. He talks about his teachers and the effect they have had on his thinking. It made me sit up and think. Have I made a contribution to the kids I have had the chance to teach. As I have grown I have tried to teach what I think the kids really need to imbibe as a mindset. Much more than mere theory.
If I have been able to inculcate a mindset that enables them in the future to attack various situations and be able to keep their thinking clear, then it would have been well worth it. that’s why its always nice to meet old students. Some of them come upto you and tell you what they have learnt from you and how it really helped them. It is the same in office with my subordinates. That is how I guess I must judge myself and act in a manner that best allows this to happen. It’s not a popularity contest wherein the votes count immediately after the display of ‘skill’. This is a slow burn. Years and decades later if someone remembers you for the value you have added to them and not merely helped them at an unfortunate moment, then you have really done your job.
It also set me thinking on education opportunities. Instead of choosing the commerce stream, if I had taken the arts stream and got into the best college with the best teachers might have enjoyed my education better. Arts was for the women and the men who wanted to be near women. I am not so sure if my parents would have been happy to have their son in arts. Especially after my brother’s lost way in the education system. I was my dad’s final hope. He wanted me in science, an engineer perhaps but being principled that he would not influence choice of stream, commerce was still ok. At least I was not threatening to fail a la big bro.
Teachers have the ability to affect the minds of their wards. It’s a pity that they don’t see it as thus. But then at 200 bucks an hour that I get for teaching, I am ok as it’s not my bread and butter. I would be happy to pay. But how can it motivate a genuine talent to make it a profession. With good women now going to corporate life even the last hope of them joining the only “respectable profession” of teaching is fast diminishing. What’s good for the corporate may not be good for the country. But you can’t really do anything about it. The invisible hand of Adam Smith will transfer the best resources to where it will see the maximum value.
Only issue is that he talks about the long run and we live in the short run.

nothing can stop an idea whose time has come - or something to that effect

Yesterday was a pretty intense day with meetings throughout. The best part about the meetings was that they all actually used my brains. Normally I done out in meetings with nothing really to contribute or add value to. It started from a simple coffee date that I had with my student. I had taught her many years ago. I think about 8 years ago. And now she might be the age that I was when I taught her. Kids grow. The relationship becomes quite sweet. There is still some reverence as you finally were their teacher but now they too have seen enough life and had enough experience to stand shoulder to shoulder with you. The age gap doesn’t look that much when you grow older.
Now with so many of them I can have conversations as if we are friends, just a little older friend who probably can see things a bit better, but friends for sure. Respectful friends? Sounds funny… whatever…
While I was talking she was remarking about the facebook generation where people cry and laugh and feel all emotions online and in front of all your friends. It made me release another of my ‘jaimitisms’. I so love doing these. I create postulates or should you call them axioms, no I think that’s all wrong, just jaimitisms sounds good enough. So my jaimitism was that with the advent of social media ‘emotion is now a collective responsibility’. I found it so funny. It kept tickling me till quite some time. The more I thought the more it rang true.
I guess when we grow up the sheer amount of emotion that we have online would surely have some psychographic repercussion. No I don’t mean it that this is all bad and that this must be thought of etc etc. I am playing no moral police but I surely feel that something will change in the way we react or connect with people and then this law will hold true. Which one? Arey the emotion being a collective responsibility.
Even if you want to hide it, somebody around you will capture it and post it for eternal posterity. Instead of reference check firms you will have algorithms that generate your online reference score.
It will cull out your total emotional score basis your profile, your posts then see the people you have connected to, left connections, comments etc. infer your strong or weak linkages while considering your browsing patterns interests etc etc…
This is not too far fetched. The technology to do this exits today. Nothing rocket science about it.
The best part of this will be that you really can’t escape this. Because if everyone will be using this reference checker then if you don’t have one online… by blocking off all tagging, removing yourself from the online social world etc then a null report on you will be seen as shay and suspicious. You will be seen as someone with something to hide. You are the next drug dealer or more likely the next depression case likely to commit suicide or blow up the commercial district. Now we wouldn’t want to be typecast like that do we?
Online reputations will have be carefully managed, doctored and thought through. After all that’s what the university will see along with your SAT/MAT/RAT and some FAT score. HAHAHAHHA… I can see you are scared or plain dismissive.
Ok. Fine by me. Don’t tell anyone that I did not warn you.
But do tell other people that you first heard it here. Any angel investor or tech man listening…contact me. Lets do some thing interesting with this proposition.

Actually a few days ago I blogged something like this for companies. Did I? I don’t know. I am too bored (read lazy) to really check. But the gist is that if it can be done for people it can done for companies.

Forget that – the breakfast at barista got a bit interesting. Here is the snapshot.

Oops, sorry that was of the snack I had at office the day before. Here is the actual snapshot.

I like the poetry in the way the coffee looks. Especially the black ones which have cream on top. The way the cream slowly melts and mixes with the coffee is always fun to watch.

bend over

This yoga thing we do twice a week is really awesome. It has helped improve my back. I can’t believe that simple stretches improves back to such a great extent. The best and most noticeable improvement, I can sit in vajrasan for a long period of time without getting all numb. Vajrasan is this pose wherein you fold your legs under your thighs and sit on your soles. Ok.. that’s a bad description. Let me see if I can google a pic for you that best illustrates the pose. ………………………… yup. Here it is.
What’s so tough about it? Do it and sit in that pose for 5 minutes. You can huh? Good for you. You cant? I told you so.

But these small victories is something I look forward to notch up while I do yoga. Like bending forward and touching the head to my toes in bhadrasan position which start off like below. Just about managing that one.

But all this is good fun till one day I was doing yoga with my daughter in front of me. It is completely demoralising. She can just about do anything. She sits cross legged and completely folds forward touching the floor with her stomach. She is so comfortable with it that she many times goes to sleep in the car like thus.
yes... I tell you, she is asleep, fast asleep.
For those who care, please observe the foot coming out from the side. Just try sitting without bending with your feet coming out from the opposite side. Go ahead try it. Now bend over… ya go ahead. Just ensure you read the disclaimer that follows before doing it. Disclaimer: DON’T DO IT OR YOU MIGHT NEVER GET BACK UP AGAIN.

The yoga teacher tells us that you don’t chart progress in yoga by measuring your flexibility quotient. You measure it by understanding your mind. Are you more relaxed, more in control etc etc. this is one big let down for me as far as yoga is concerned. I don’t know if it has made an iota of difference to my mind yet. I think it’s because I got the thing screwed on wrong. I primarily concentrate on getting my postures correct, my breathing in order and ensure that I feel the twist. I am probably too muddled up with my physical being to really observe the mind.

But sometimes I also suspect that it is like so as I am constantly trying to train my mind. I am constantly trying to react impartially, see both sides of the equation, conquering fear, anger and reaction. I am doing mental yoga all the time. And it has helped me tremendously. So this actual yoga is not amounting to much. But then I could be completely wrong. I don’t know.
In absence of complete information I am taking things as they hit me step by step. My first priority now is my physical well being and that is what I am taking seriously through yoga. That’s what I want to achieve. The rest I will achieve, hopefully, slowly. It is tough to get up and practice yoga. It’s a good thing that it fits well into routine but even more difficult to manage is the stiff body. My hands go as far behind, my ankles hurt in vajrasan, my back bends less. It makes for a painful experience. But I guess I have to conquer that feeling, the stiffness. The tough part is not to lose motivation by comparing evening results to morning results. The thing is to constantly do it, diligently concentrating on your breathing. I remember doing yoga as a ninth standard student (around 14 years). I thought concentration was easier then. Now its tougher. I did not realise how I am unable to control my variety of thoughts. It requires really concentration to get anywhere near where the goal is and it is so difficult to hold it there, all concentrated on the breath. Yoga is really telling me how old I have become. Physically, mentally.

But I am glad. Very glad. I am happy that is possible. I hope I can carry it on for good and I continue to get something from it for a long time to come. It might easy tthat my expectations are low... a mere vajrasan pose without it hurting. The next goal is prathnasan without toes hurting… google it. it is so deceptively simple looking that I am embarrassed to tell you that holding that pose sitting in. hey that’s funny…I couldn’t get the image online. It’s the pose where you kneel down a la vajrasan but only your knees and your toes bent inwards touch the ground. Much like the nymph in all the calendar art depicting gods. The one who then is throwing petals in that position. Most temples you will see people kneeling in that position. Most corridors in schools also you will see the kids kneeling in that position. When the teacher is looking you are supposed to keep you butt up but when she glances away you rest your butt on your heels. There now I think you remember it, you naughty boy.

pose

Jispa has learnt from me not to stay still while giving a pose for the camera. I guess it is a bad thing as anywhere and everywhere she refuses to hold still. A funny face is a must. Her mommy hates me for it and keeps telling Jispa not to do that. hehehe. I guess I am guilty there and I also realise that this is akin to giving a razor to a monkey. She will end up looking funny in most of her photos and digital memories will come back to haunt her in adulthood.
With the internet and the facebook stuff coming in, you never know who on earth is going to upload one of your weird snaps and you end up being the toast of all the sniggers. I often wonder this blog might end up being one such source of such embarrassment. Someday I will take it private for sure. But till then I can safely put up the non embarrassing pics, and I can talk about the relatively philosophical aspects of our growing up.
Kids especially get bored of constantly being asked to give nice cute pics and smiles just for the camera. There is nothing to it and it gets soo dam coring for them. With the digital camera photographs are a commodity and you keep clicking them all the time. Jispa used to so hate posing for the pictures. Firstly everywhere we would want to click them. Every time we would click at least a half a dozen. Every time I would try to get a good pose, an interesting angle and the exact light effect. A complete stage managed pain. Jispa would always complain and then refuse to pose. She just got so tired of us. Me in particular. That was one of the reasons to chuck the camera from my life.

Side bar - I am her chief face maker. She asked me the other day, how on earth can i make all these faces. How do I think them up? Well, it takes years of practice is all I can say. She tries her best to come close but I am still the champion in my house :)
On the other hand I have seen some kids going all ‘model model’ the moment the camera is turned on. They take on the avatar of some soap model and keep giving sweet smiles all day. They can get so artificial. Jispa and me like to spoil the oh so perfect photos. The one with the bright sunlight, straight faces, lovely smiles and combed hair. You know those don’t you? Now I am old enough not be berated for spoiling the pic but poor Jispa who has been learning this gets the short end of the stick. Sorry Jispa. It will take time. Right now you are in the phase where you will be caught and straightened. You will want to break norm. then you will grow up and end up being a typical teenager who might get acne, who might not like her hair cut, her outfit. You might want to comb your hair before a pic, you will learn to show your best side etc etc. and then once you outgrow that and some more then you will learn that it does not really matter. No one is really looking and then finally you will pose to whatever suits you. It’ll take time. Then people will accept you and even laugh at all those pics. But then that was my journey. I am pretty excited to know what your journey will end up being.
Here are a couple of photos that could be a study in contrast. The first is her desired fun pose and the other the more studied on. Though these days she is ok posing as I have junked the camera and pics like these are few and far in beween.

FTR these pictures were taken after she beat me by a large margin in an extremely high skilled well faought board game. she is growing up fast and learning the moves, well enought to defeat me by a margin. Like a proud father i saw as she came from behind to beat the shit out of me. As a father there would be none so proud as me, to see the day that your ward beats you at the game you taught her. The game in question? snakes and ladders.

simple...

Sometimes it gets very difficult to write a post. The prime audience for this blog is currently 7 years old and when she does grow up to read it, it must be relevant enough for her to enjoy it without too much background research. Right now the most important thing on my mind is the IPL finals that were played out yesterday. after ten years, I wouldn’t want her to look up what exactly happened just to understand the blog. Hence I need to write what is relevant and what is easily understandable and get to the essence of my thought.
Yesterday the most interesting learning for me was the approach towards captainship of the two rival captains. Sachin Tendulkar is no doubt a champion but somehow I get the sense that he wants to lead from the front and take the onus of winning single handed. He takes great responsibility for his greatness. I almost get the feeling that he has decided to win it for the team. Dhoni on the other hand seems to trust his simple cricketing brain. He sees it as ‘no rocket science’. You do a set of processes in tune with your reading. I have seen him many times talk in a very simple, straight matter of fact tone.
I have come to believe that that is the best way to approach the game. Simple. Captaining the B team taught me this. The A team at my company is a bunch of committed guys with tons of talent trying hard to win a game. The B team is a bunch of bedraggled bunch of cricketers who are there because they like playing but aren’t good enough, old but still enthu or simply guys wanting to break into the A team. That’s when I learnt that you have to focus on the processes. Use simple thinking. Trust your players. Keep your cricket logical. Keep the motivation simple. Keep your messages simple. Understand the limitations of players. Place your game according to those limitations. And above all have fun. Too much thinking and pressure can really mar the game. Probably we were gifted not have the gift of cricket like the A team. But we had fun while playing and we learnt a bit about the game.
The many games I captained or played in the 7 a side format also gave me the same learnings. Trust your players. That’s the team you have and that’s the best you have got. Let them play to their potential. You can groom them till a point. On the ground, there is no time to improve or coach. I could only see the humour at silly shots and the fun of seeing my bad bowlers being trashed around. I would change the field and the bowlers and batsman depending on what the game would be as I could read it, but then after that there was no frustration. I will set the field and if the batsmen simply cleared the field smashing my best bowler, there is nothing I could do. I saw no point in dropping shoulders on seeing a dropped catch. These are things to be addressed in the training not on the field.
I guess leadership is just that. Trusting the process and backing your team. You don’t need o lead from the front all the time. That will result in a whole ton of frustration and unnecessary pressure. It will lead to burn out. You will cease to enjoy it if you solve all issues by using brute force. We call it the Hanuman effect, wherein you get the whole mountain for just one herb. Give clear instructions. Have clear deliverables and the then trust the team to perform. If you do your processes right then the odds are that the result will be favourable. Bearing down the necks of your team all the time is a waste of energy. And if you need to do that then you need a new team. Given simple rules and deliverables, the decision making like the action has to be decentralised.

The basic tenets of good thought are always those look and sound simple. If they are too complicated then you have every reason to be very sceptical of them.

But what on hell have I become. I can’t watch a straightforward cricketing match without dissecting it in management jargon. I guess it’s a curse. Will have to figure some way get around it. Lame excuse – this blog puts pressure on me to make an intelligent comment on anything, thus forcing….

dam!

Probably because it was on my mind, or probably because it genuinely fits, but this post today from one of my favourite websites http://www.xkcd.com/ to mind works best to illustrate the point I was trying to make on yesterdays blog.

After posting yesterdays blog I was not so comfortable with it. Something inside of me kept rankling. What was it about that post? Is my postulate wrong? Was I in error? Are there too many outliers to this that I have missed out? The more I thought the more I seem convinced that balanced and erudite minds often tend to be open about their conclusions. Of course you have the instances of scientists going mad because no body listened to them and they kept repeating their thesis to disbelieving audiences. Probably that’s a caricature we have from the media creations we see. Most smart guys I know are secure about their knowledge and are keen to hear relevant arguments on their findings or knowledge.
It took some soul searching to figure that the reason I was uncomfortable is that I was pissed at the world for this. This was the stupid thing. How can I preach equanimity if I get angry at the world for not being balanced and for being one sided? Relax. People need not follow all your values, no matter how right they seem to you. Getting agitated is one thing; the fact that it affects itself is an issue. Will have to learn to let go. I will have to learn to keep quite. I can change knowledge, add to it, debate it but it’s probably too much of a task to change attitude. Will have to learn to pick fights.

One random stupid joke comes to mind.
While swimming, two fish hit a wall. The first fish told the other “Dam!”

shaped by attitude? nopes... shaped by knowledge

It’s impossible to deal with arrogance especially if it is coupled with ignorance. I hate getting into arguments. I would live not to. Over a period of time I have learnt that arguments are largely useless and there is no one side to reality or knowledge. There is always another side. Also if you listen to people about their experiences and knowledge you would always tend to gain from them. The problem starts when an opinion hits the conversation. This opinion is strong and driven by attitude as opposed to knowledge. The stronger the opinion the greater chance that it is driven by attitude and not knowledge. Knowledge driven opinion tends to be circumspect in its view, while attitude driven opinions will be accompanied by a large amount of table thumping and rhetoric.
I have seen truly intelligent men be very quiet and understated. They realise the duality of thought process. They are ready to listen to people, the other side of view and realise that every opinion can be countered. Many times there is much to learn from your opponent if only you don’t see them as such. Also the really smart ones are the one that choose not to comment on almost all things. They reserve their judgement on issues they knew little about, they are secure in their knowledge and ready to admit their ignorance.
I sometimes fail to see why so many people have such strong opinions with so little knowledge. I guess five years ago my knowledge was limited as well but my opinion was vast and vehement. Over the last five years the reverse has happened. I think our education might have something to do with it. In school ion a debate you have to take a string opposing stance on anything. You can’t take an opposing stand that says that the first team is not taking a moderate stance. Your stance has to be at the exact opposite. You can’t take centre line.
A centre balanced line that is unable to see black or white is what I have typically seen as the truth. People jump to criticize issues or stands but are unable to see the reason why it has come to fore. People like me who say, relax, see the reason why the act has been done without judging it are complete bores at beast and completely impractical or preachy at worst. We have been taught to take a stand, be the judge and take decisions as if all actions are being played before a court of law that is expected to pass verdict. No dude. Don’t pass verdict. It’s ok. The action happened. That’s all. The moment we pass a verdict too soon we don’t realise the silly errors we are making and are blindsided by the information we don’t have.
Take the recent example of a hotshot tennis star marrying a Pakistani cricket captain. It was alleged that the cricketer was already married to a lady in Hyderabad. One friend of mine explained that bullshit he married her. Look at her she is so fat and ugly. Haha. You have taken your decision not on the facts of the case. You have taken your decision purely on one instance. The lady in question is fat. I asked this lady friend of mine –if it was a hot chick who starred in b grade movies and has a slutty reputation then you would have not believed her at all, if it was a slim pretty girl from a simple family, you would have and you are suspicious of a fat girl. The facts of the case remain the same, yet you believe a case basis some really random peg.
It is so silly. She could have been really slim and then put on weight. Which media report you read said that she was fat from the start. Why is that he could have not fallen for a fat girl and then realised that he could do much better. You have no information but you have an opinion based on your attitude.
Another issue is the feminists that believe that they have it tough and the men have it easy. How can you so say? I truly genuinely believe that women have it tough. The ones who work manage home and office. They do very well. But that does mean I have addressed the issue of tough‘er’. I find the whole argument so brittle. Sure its bad but both sides face issues all the time.
It’s like someone once asked me if I dominate the relationship with me and my wife. Stupid ass question. Just because I seem more outgoing and vocal of the two. I left it to my wife to answer, who at first chuckled. I don’t think anyone can completely dominate anyone in a healthy relationship. It is so difficult so say that. Yesterday someone asked while talking about egos, that don’t men have stronger egos than women. Hah! Ego is not about men or women it’s about power and the situation you use it in. Everyone is equally prone and susceptible to ego, not men more than women. I could only think of one example to counter it. The mother in law and daughter in law fights. They are largely driven by ego and they are prevalent almost everywhere. Does that mean that women tend to have more egos? We take the biggest example in front of us and generalise the rule. So unfair, so driven by attitude as opposed to knowledge.
The criticism of my stand is that is that I have no stand and I will not be able to take a side. Uhhh. Ok. So? It doesn’t stop my decision making. I take my decision basis what I know best at the time simple. At least I am aware and actively receptive to the counter. It will help in changing stand as well. At the time of decision my stand is clear. Till then I don’t need to have a stand. Especially on so many issues that have little bearing on my life. Having mental paradigms stops us from seeing the whole picture and we are unable to see the game unfold. In the current cricket saga, I am not holding anyone guilty, hence I think I am better placed to see the game unfold and the moves being made. This is making the show much more entertaining or enriching. Sit behind, grab a mocha gande and sip it slowly. The world passing by is pretty interesting only if we care to see it unfold.
It is not easy and by all means its not that I can maintain this stand of equanimity at all times. But I try and I keep my senses open. I actively seek fault in my argument and thinking. This helps me learn and improve. Its helps me conquer ego and arrogance. It’s a slow burn. It will take time. Those who know me from before will not believe this blog of mine. I was a twerp, an arrogant one at that. Working with my God Dharen Chadha for about a year has changed me in many ways. His unrivalled knowledge with his willingness to learn more and listen to noises around him while withholding opinion on things outside his knowledge has changed me as a person. My wife many times asks why I don’t call him and keep in touch with him. I don’t know. You keep in touch with God by talking to him. He need not talk back to you. His picture is always burned in my memory. I just can’t get myself to talk to him. I feel so low and insignificant. How can I talk to him? I just can’t.
Thanks to him I started reading, started listening started to understand the value of being moderate. I am not a patch on him, but I am trying as best as I can. So far it has changed me in many ways possible. I hope it is for the better. I sure hope it lasts.

pub shub hai rubba

It’s a good thing that smoking is banned at indoor venues. Thanks to that yesterday when the office gang decided to go for a night out, I could agree to go to a pub. Normally the only pub I could barely manage was the hard rock café. With its high ceilings and decent air filtration, I could handle the smoke filled interiors.
I am pretty allergic to cigarette smoke. For some reason cigarette smoke makes my ears pain. Yup you read that right. My ears pain. Even if someone comes into the office smoking a cigarette or if the taxi driver has smoked before driving I can smell it and in a closed environment the ears begin to tingle a bit. So pubs have been out of bound for most of my life. Especially the happening ones at Bandra and other suburbs which have low ceilings, bad air-conditioning and no air filtration so as to speak off. Not to mention the cramped places and the really loud music that is played from speakers close enough to burst your ear drums.
Well with one variable viz smoke out of the equation, these fire traps are suddenly much more bearable for people like me. We finally get an opportunity to listen to some good music that we can identify and hum along. My music tastes were mainly those that my elder siblings thrust upon my helpless ears. Right from the girlie music that my elder sister thrust upon us to the complete hard rock that my brother subjected me to. We had only one music player and it was quite clear that I was whale shit in the pecking order and my choice didn’t count. Not that I was an audiophile to start with and I really did not mind. I was happy to get them to spend their pocket money, buying cassettes, recoding music, playing them etc. we had those cassette players which would get spoiled in the Mumbai humidity and they had to keep cleaning the head with some alcohol solution. We used to use dad’s aftershave as well at times. Hehhe. I sure he didn’t know. Not that he cared too much as he was never into perfumes. His bottles lasted forever. I still have one last little bit of after shave lotion in a bottle that he bought before I was born. I loved it and I conserved it with great pains. It was special enough for me to use at my marriage and reception ceremony.
So my music was largely shaped by what I was made to hear rather than by choice. Hence I cant even manage to go these new fangled pubs playing hip hop. I cant understand or importantly identify with the music. And if the music is the glue for the crowds, I cant understand the crowd as well. Not that I want to understand the crowd in any which way possible. I may be happier being a loner than being a pretend.
But yesterday I had an opportunity to go to Hawiian Shack in Bandra. As I expected low ceilings and claustrophobic atmosphere but at least no second hand smoke to inhale. I was also promised that it played my kind of music. The 80’s 90’s rock. Of course no Turbo Lover but at least we had Bruce Springsteen. That’s ok. Also reaching earlier we had a option of choosing the table. We wanted to avoid the one right under the air conditioners, but the those with the ACs had the dam over sized speaker. One table had speakers and woofers next to it. We settled for on in between the two. Just about ok. I must be the only guy who gets into a pub and wants to figure exactly where to sit. I think a misfit from the starting steps.
But in the end it was one pilgrimage done. I have been seeing and hearing about the place since so many years with no chance to go there. I must admit that I enjoyed the music there.
One of the funny things I noticed that on the next table a large crowd from an office had come in. While we were a small but noisy and fun group, that one turned out to be a large and quite group attacking the drinks and food. My guess is that the company was paying for it, or possible it’s the boss taking them out. Get the free booze into your system as fast as possible. Hehe. Ok I might be a little unfair and judgemental. But the archetype in my mind seemed to fit.
The best part of the evening, I got home and I did not have to scrub off the nicotine off my hair, shirt, hands and skin. I just took a quick shower and could hit the bed happy.

a tooth story

Around a week back, Jispa lost another tooth. The tooth fairy came calling again and left another 5 rupee coin. I guess that’s how the government manages to circulate the money. It prints less and ensures that the rest is made up by the tooth fairy. That is also probably the reason it makes a record of the births in the country. Then it does an extrapolation and plots the number of babies born, their progression, expected mortality rates, the average age at which you get new teeth etc etc. hence it figures the replacement cost of a tooth versus the five rupee that the fairy generates and leaves behind. It adds that to the money supply in the economy and then adjusts for the same by printing less on its own. This ensures equitable distribution of the money supply as well. While this does all well, how does it manage to account for the missing five rupees in the net worth of the parents every time a child loses a tooth? I guess then it adds up the child’s income from other sources to include the tooth fairy gift and then totals that up as the net gain for a family to account for the net off in family income. Hence balancing the book. Though I wonder if this income of a child which is then clubbed with the parent is taxable at the maximum marginal tax rate. Or I guess that comes under the exceptions of winnings that are exempt up to Rs.5000 in a calendar year. But is the tooth fairy exchange of a tooth for cash a winning or is it a sale? Under which circumstances it is taxable on the profit. And if the basic raw material for the tooth is calcium then milk becomes the input under which am I expected to maintain the milk bills. Then that would be good for me as at five bucks a tooth I am making a huge loss on the transaction which could be set off against the other income I make. Now that’s a happy happy ending.

But to continue Jispa’s story, she wrote a message for the tooth fairy on the white board. She asked for confidence. I wonder why. She thinks she is shy. I don’t think she is. I guess it might be fashionable to be shy. Whatever, but the tooth fairy was quite clear. She said something to this effect - confidence is not something that anyone can give you. It is inside of you. Sometimes when it is a bit lost, take a deep breath and believe in yourself and it will come back. And at the end she even referred to her as ‘superconfident Jispa’. Here is the board as proof.

the experimentative gujju

Yesterday I experienced the ultimate Gujju fantasy. This kind of stuff is normally reserved for gujju heartland. We Gujju’s can eat anything as long as it is vegetarian. Post that one clause, we are pretty experimentative when it comes to food. And in all gujju favourite dishes you find sweet, salty, spicy and any other taste that the taste buds can decipher; all in one bite. Hence the humble sev puri is a favourite amongst gujjus. The next thing that catches our eyes (and stomachs ) are the sandwiches. Here also we ensure we put all the spices together thanks to the chatni and the sauce we put inside the sandwiches. After that we dunk it further in the chatnis and have it.
So yesterday we were roaming around gujju food heartland (matunga) where I came across this wild preparation. It just did not make sense to me. But the gujju in me awoke to try it and the gujju in me loved it. What was it? Here look at the photo and tell me.


Look again. It is sevpuri toast sandwich. I did not even know it existed. But this enterprising guy figured it out. He takes a bread slice and arranges a few sev puris on it and then covers it with another bread slice and then toasts it. eeew. But it tastes great and the puris aren’t soft after the toasting. Funny but tasty. What would we do without gujjus.

simple thinking

What we learn from everyday life is enough to teach us a thing or two about business. We probably don’t need any great management book to really tell us the secret. The Times of India seems to have sold its soul in the movie review section. They seem to be writing only glossy reviews with a view not to antagonise any parties. I have seen this rubbish before and the latest being the one on the movie ‘jane kahan se aayi hai’. Compromising the integrity, or if I were to give them some credit, compromising the quality of a simple movie review casts aspersions on general edit quality of the paper as a whole. Every small action adds up in the consumers mind. If he can’t trust your review, slowly he starts asking questions on other topics as well. Kids grow up listening to their parents rubbishing the paper. What happens to a brand that took 150 plus years to build?
Rarely we are corporates understand the huge repercussions of our immediate actions. We pay bonus and increments year on year. We focus on March end numbers. I haven’t heard any boss appraise anyone on the culture that they have helped build and hence reward them for the same. We just won’t understand. The web is teaching us today the value of public relations. On the web every opinion will be made and possibly stored for posterity. Someone will sooner or later come out with software that aggregates data and opinion and beliefs over a larger period of time. Then companies will rue that they gave customers the short end of the stick. They still don’t understand the value of the peer on the web. I see ads in new papers saying “we are now on facebook”. Well if you had an interesting idea and a reason then the community itself will adopt you without waiting for an advert proclaiming so. What a rubbish idea. The brand managers need to show that they have an online strategy and hence any rubbish – one FB page, one stupid twitter account and some other rubbish. Missing in the equation is the consumer. Err…Who’s that girl?
Forget that. Let’s focus on the movie which got a decent review. Jasmine and I were happy to go for the show at it was a morning show at the theatre next door. At 80 bucks a head no movie can be really that bad. Ritesh Deshmukh couldn’t have been all that bad. He does do a good job as a side kick. Well…. I think that’s that. He is good side kick but as a stand alone actor he has some distance to go. Add to it an actress who can’t act and a hackneyed script. But we had fun. Some stupid slapstick and we had Jispa rolling in the aisles. I guess it’s a fun movie for kids. I assumed that Jispa did not get any of x rates jokes in it (pretty corny). With Jispa as the laugh track almost anything is funny.
At home we have been seeing this really old movie ‘seeta aur geeta’. Standard twins separated at birth fare. We are enjoying that as well.
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While coming in today I heard a radio ad for Digene, the chewable anti acidity tablet. The strawberry flavour is now in sugar free version. Huh? I know everything is now sugar free and contains aspartame or some other agent which some of us suspect is carcinogenic over the long run. I try and avoid the stuff, now I will have to even check Digene for it. My first reaction was ‘incredulous’. Come on. One small tablet with sugar can’t really kill your diet and make you put on kilos. But then on second thoughts it’s a perfect brand fit. Those who eat a lot or don’t control their diet are the ones who are large consumers of anti acids and these guys are the top target for sugar free stuff. One large burger with extra cheese, one large fires and a diet coke please.

jumping jack

When you run out of ideas to blog about… you open the photos folders and think of something to upload. Here is something interesting. This was in 2007 when we were visiting Ranthambore and Bharatpur. While we were at Rathambore fort I just this wild idea and made Jispa jump before taking this snap.

Then we got all excited with the results and made Jispa jump in front of the Taj Mahal which we visited a few days later. I think we completely missed the point of the great mausoleum. Poor shah jahan must turned in his grave. Clicking the Taj with you kid jumping in front of it. haha.


We went to Bharatpur again the following year with some friends and visited the Taj again. This time around I was pretty shocked to see the official photographers there talking photos of kids while encouraging them to jump on his count, before capturing the moment. They copied my style. Hell now we will have a large bunch of photos of people jumping in front the tomb. Now millions more will miss the point. What have I started? But on second thoughts, let me look at the market it replaced. These idiots were normally the guys who would have posed with their hand outstretched and their fingers joined as if they were picking up the Taj.

Have you seen those? Let me see if I can google a few images. “taj in your fingertips’ did not get me the desired results, but ‘holding the taj mahal’, now that’s another matter altogether. Here is one such photo… now when you look at the thing I replaced; it’s probably not so bad after all.

summer funk

Oh darn its summertime. I hate the swimming pool in summers. These days every body want to hit the pool in the morning. It’s a bloody riot. First there are lots of slippers and only a few are in the rack. I understand kids not putting them in the rack but adults? then the changing room. Today all the hangars were taken. I was wondering how to hang my clothes. I almost thought I might have to fold them and place them on the rack. Not that it would have mattered much, but I have my office clothes on which I don’t really want to crumple up. Luckily one guy came out and took his clothes from the hangar allowing me the privilege. Till then I was looking at all the t shirts and shorts which were hanging there wondering if could just yank them off. You don’t really need to hang t shirts and shorts on hangars. As if they would crease up other wise.
Then I hit the pool. Man, there was no clear line to follow. I could see people in all the lanes. I so hate the way the guys who come regularly to swim and do that lazy and slow breast stroke. They don’t even need to breathe hard. I just see them bobbing up and down. Normally I never had an issue with it, but when these guys end up slowing up the lane its irritating. But its still ok… lets get progressively worse. Next on the line are the irritating women who will swim in the line that you have already taken off, and that too in the opposite direction. So a mid lane collision is imminent. In any case Matunga gym pool doesn’t follow lane discipline, but a little care and common sense would help. To day half way through I realised I was going to hit a boulder of a women and changed lanes. Luckily no one was coming from the opposite side. I try and set a route and pick a lane before I set off. Now I also look for potential women starting off. In fact now I even look for potential men starting off and switch lanes.
Today I managed to track one guy who was swimming properly and decided that the best strategy would be to follow him. I am a bit faster than most swimmers and hence need to give my self adequate distance before taking off, or else I might find myself getting kicked on the face.
The worst bit – the talking men. If I earlier thought that women can gossip, then the men take eth cake. They can talk on and on and on. They talk while showering, shouting across the shower cubicles. They talk outside the showers while in the bathroom while getting ready. Once I caught a pair talking while I came in and were still talking when I was walking out. In the changing room and in their swimming trunks. Wow. But that’s still ok. The irritating ones are the ones talking in the pool. They stand at the shallow end and talk and talk. On an empty winter day, sure enough, sit in your corner and yap away. But in summer when the pool is filled enough, get out of my way. Allow me place to stop and catch my breath. These guys haven’t figures the difference between the swimming pool and a Jacuzzi. Standing in the pool at eth shallow end for 15 minutes and talking. They talk shop, they talk ‘gossip’, they play match making. Everything we men blame women for. They are right there, talking. In the guise of exercise.
I miss the winter. Dark morning and cold waters. No one in the pool. Absolutely no one. I am swimming alone. The changing room is empty, the racks are free. Wow. I asked the attendant “till when will this traffic jam last?” “two months”. Man I cant wait for the rains to start. Good lazy mornings and people will want to stay in their beds. Thank god for small mercies.

wash your hands off

I came across this wonderful piece by Dan Ariely (link) . I have loved this guy and absolutely love the questions he asks and the possible explanations he gives. Yes in many ways adding a disclaimer or a disclosure always allows most corporates to do whatever on hell they want.

“According to the New York Times, the drug maker disclosed that it paid $20 million in consulting and speaking fees to 4,500 doctors in the second half of 2009. The company also shelled out $15.3 million to U.S. academic medical centers for their clinical trials.
A few other drug makers have disclosed their doctor payments in the past, but this is the first time a company has disclosed its payments for clinical trials. As such, some may see this as a good deed on Pfizer’s part, a noble step towards eliminating or reducing some of the conflicts of interest in medicine.
Only, disclosure doesn’t seem to help. Several studies have shown that when professionals disclose their conflicts of interest, this only makes the problem worse. This is because two things happen after disclosure: first, those hearing the disclosure don’t entirely know what to make of it — we’re not good at weighing the various factors in any given situation — and second, the discloser feels morally liberated to act even more in his self-interest and to disregard what’s in the public good”


I worked in corporate India and banking long enough to know that the agreements are horribly one sided and long winded. There is no way for the client or consumer to effectively understand the same. After years in finance and I still don’t understand the simple disclaimer that gets added in every insurance ad –‘insurance is eth subject matter of solicitation’. What on earth does that mean? I know what it means for the marketing person. Say whatever you want and then slap on this in really rapid pace or small font. There… now you are clean. It is the same in all the Initial public offer adverts. Say whatever you want and then slap on the fact that the important disclosures and risk factors are given. The government even made it mandatory to have a form with all the risk factors written on it. This makes for a large unwieldy form. But no one reads that as well. You need a magnifying glass and a lot of patience. If they really care about informing us and keeping us aware why don’t they insist on simple language as risk? – This claim is exaggerated and is most likely not going to happen. No by investing in this fund you are not likely to buy your own aircraft twenty years hence. This company is not making real money, it is a promise, more like a dream. This investment gives the broker commission of 10%. If you default on this loan we will take your car with the help of goons if need be. If you need money for this, then you are likely not to pay this back. We need to bank with us as we have just increased this sales man’s target.

I agree with Dan. Making disclaimers mandatory and agreements mandatory have not protected the consumer. If anything they have given a free hand to business to rip us off. Possibly if we baned them and put the onus back on the corporate to ensure he has not missold. Suppose we can fight in court that we did not really understand this legalese and the court says, sure... your disclaimer must be in the same language as your ad copy, possibly then...

But for now all you have to do is slap on a really inane disclaimer and voila, you are on. Say what to, do what you to, the adams family… the adams family…

dhak dhak

On November 2nd 2009, I completed five years with the current firm. When I started off my career in 1998, I always wanted to work for long in one firm but I guess no firm thought me worthy enough. I had horrendous experience after horrendous experiences. I learnt that to get great salaries one needs to keep changing jobs and moving on. Before my current job the longest I had stayed any where was three years and that was also this current firm. After which I went outside for a year and joined back in. that one year at Momentum was in many ways one of the most important periods of my life where I was able to meet and interact with some outstanding minds and basically change my thinking. But this post is not about that job.
At one point given the number of jobs I changed, I never thought I would complete five years in any one firm. I used to look at the long service awardees and wonder if my turn would ever come. When we had the award function on the 31st of last month, it was a weird moment. It came like a matter of fact event. I did not think about it, I did not even bother too much. I just walked up and collected the award. I have no clue what to do with the trophy, though I very much appreciate the 5gm gold coin given. in the middle a couple of years ago, I got rid of all the trophies that were at my desk. These I had won for corporate football and cricket. I felt the vanity in them especially since I knew that they were for being the best in a hopelessly mediocre segment. It doesn’t take much to defeat fatted unfit bankers and get some awards in the process.
So the 5 year trophy is the only one I have on my table. I guess that trophy might truly be my own. I probably owe that one to myself for keeping the faith and staying on. Hehe.
Since this year the number of awardees were unusually large (our division also completed five years), the five year guys were asked not to give thank you speeches. Though they did circulate a PowerPoint for people to write some special comments that they could show case while giving the awards. I was not going to write any mushy stuff for sure. To one of the questions – which was finally showcased for me – what keeps you here – I wrote two points – I lost my CV and I forgot the rubbish I wrote in; and second point being – I cant explain to anybody else what on earth am I doing at this job. I did not realise that that one would become a hit with the audience and I got some ‘I like’ comments post the function. We are easily amused.
The other brain wave I had was that if we were not going to speak then why not have a camera and record the comments of all the awardees where in they could talk about stuff and they could thank who ever they wanted on camera. Now that was a huge hit (with most of them of course). They came in and spoke to the camera. They were all excited and ready to talk but the poor stage was taken from them. Thank god for my camera. I plan to cut these pieces and put them up for public consumption. I also realised that just because I am a cynical basterd, there is no reason why the world should be one. I was pretty unenthused about the award but all the rest were all charged up and ready to go. Women went shopping the day before. Some guys got new shirts to wear. Many got change of clothes before they set off for the function. One guy got a shave done in the afternoon. Some heroes wore suits. Wow. I guess it does count for something. I don’t what it was. The fact that you are going to receive an award in front of some azar people. The fact that the CEO is going to be present on stage. The fact that you completed five years counts for something. Or it is a being counted emotion. I don’t know. I had none of those. I honestly just liked the five gram of gold. I wonder where is my heart these days? Why do I not feel these emotions. If I thought I had exchanged my heart for a stone with the devil, the fears were quickly unfounded. After the event I asked my man Anil Bose who has been with me for five years what it takes and what he felt. But before he could answer I went into a long speech in front of the camera why I was happy to have him with me. I ended up saying (which is probably true) that I completed five years thank to this man. He has been a great help for me and is responsible for me growing in my current role. In the last five and half years, I have had three direct bosses and a few dotted line reportings. What’s dotted lines? Sighhh… that’s another post. But one thing has remained constant – Anil Bose and his support. We understand each other. Work well with each other and are able to feed off each others strength. In the last five years in front of me he bought a house, got married, got a kid, got the second kid and settled down. Tough going for a boy who lost his parents while he was 17 years old. He managed his life well. He has no other family from his side so as to speak of. For his marriage which was a simple ceremony at his home, I played the role of the groom’s relative who has to hold the sheet between the couple. There was no one else. Every time he has a function, I make it a point to be there. He stays in vasai so does take some going.
I know for him it means a lot for me to come all the way there. He has remarked more than once, that he is happy when we come as he has no other family representation from his side.
The others in the team many times do not understand this. They don’t get it. Many people take their relatives for granted. The fact that they have so many. They fail to see their significance. Family fights have ensured that I am not touch with many of mine. As eth second generation, we have decent regard and love for each other and are more than cordial when we meet. We are even warm. But if the elders don’t exactly get along, there aren’t many instances to deepen ties.
Probably I understand that and I value relations, probably I am going since he is my guy, probably I am just being a kind boss, probably I feel for him, probably I don’t know … I am jut going. But I did feel emotional talking about him and his five years with me.
Hey, I have a heart after all. It beats. It’s warm.

what else matters?

I just realised that I am horrible at teaching Jispa anything that comes close to school work. I have a deep rooted abhorrence for it. First came Hindi. There I had a natural excuse. I could understand jack of what was going on. As she continues her quest on the Hindi road I am only to recollect my own fears and trauma at having to study Hindi and Marathi and get the dam ‘maatras’ right. Also I never understood why all the vernacular language teachers had to be equal terrors and evil. Just because they got their maatras right why couldn’t they understand that I had no clue which one was where.
Leaving Hindi alone, today Jasmine asked me to take her dictation. I had to open the first chapter in her Oxford English book and give spellings from there. Jispa stopped reading this level at least a year ago. She is far more advanced that what I read. But of course the spellings is another matter altogether. Spellings have been my problem as well. In many ways the spell check in Microsoft word has been specifically designed for dyslexics like me. I am still not sure on how to spell science and hence let the spelling ‘sicence’ pass, till Jasmine heard that and screamed from the kitchen. To get a sample of my spellings go to my first few posts. Then I was typing directly into the text bar of blogspot and getting all my spellings wrong. Quickly I learnt enough to type out the post on word and then transfer the same on to the post, post the corrections.
Add to it that I simply hated studies. So while I started taking her dictations, I added words like ‘at’ ‘a’ ‘ran’ etc. that was just to liven things up. Jasmine gave me a stare and then understood that I was pretty much incorrigible. After the spelling, I had to ask comprehension q’s from the chapter. That was fun. I started asking random trick questions and other funny ones. Jasmine now had had enough. She took the book from me and started asking the proper questions. Jispa was rattling off the answers. I went to jasmine ad whispered in her ears, ‘you are actually testing her comprehension on this chapter. Yesterday she read the Abhimanyu story from the Amar Chitra Katha and she could rattle off the story today morning.’ This was way down the value chain for her. She even managed some other outstanding answers that required her to think of something laterally and assume something or look beyond the story for answers. I was pretty impressed. I am not taking her tuitions for sure.
Yesterday Jispa and I got talking. One aunty was explaining to Jispa how her teacher had funny pronunciations and how they used to laugh when she said m and n and x and y in math class. While Jispa got the joke she wanted to know how the alphabets made it into math class. I thought a bit and figured that she could get a handle on algebra since her ability to take a little leap of imagination was wired in. I tried to explain that many times x is used as a blank or a dash. 1+x = 3, then what is x. she struggled a bit then I reframed it as 1+___ = 3. what plus 1 is three. A ha… x is then equal to two. Then I complicated it a bit to m+n = 2. aha… 1+1. Then further to m+n = 3. aha… m is 1 and n is 2… or I corrected her as m is 2 and n is 1. so m can be 1 or 2 and n can be 1 or 2. That was fun. This was all in the car while waiting for Jasmine. She called us out to break this conversation. I don’t know how much I could have gone on. Possibly negative numbers? Or even larger algebraic sums. Eeks. I love teaching this stuff. Especially if it’s not in the portion. The whole typecast of dad teaching math is fun. I guess it will last till her 8th or 9th standard. Beyond that the sums will confuse the shit out of me. Basically till we get to derivatives I should be fine. Post which… you are on your own Jispa. Have fun. It would be so much fun to learn from her once she majors in some thing. Anything but boring and sadistic accounts. That was the pits. I see no value add in having an accounting conversation with her. Once I even tried explaining a periodic table with her. That too was a load of fun.
I don’t know how much she gathers and retains but the moment is fun, for me and for her. We enjoy it a lot. What else matters?

back to the basics

Jispa has been learning to swim through proper coaching. It is surely a good thing to get the technique right. I have been a largely self taught swimmer. While I used to swim in Dubai where I stayed till the third standard, I forgot how to swim by the time I grew up. The old phrase that you cannot really forget how to swim your whole life is probably correct but that is only if you know how to swim correctly in the first place. I used to do all weird variations of swimming and mine was called underwater. I guess I never did properly learn the free style. It is only now that I am managing to improve my strokes. I learnt it again when V-inu and me used to go to Shivaji park and look at the coaching being done and then try and copy.
So I am pretty happy that she is learning the techniques and the different strokes as well. Yesterday she had a swim meet in school. The first and second standards swim together in competition. Last year she hadn’t learn enough to swim the length of the pool for her to take part. This year she suddenly burst into scene to get eth silver for the freestyle and the bronze for back stroke. She is still yet to learn the butterfly and breaststroke. She was two seconds behind the gold in freestyle and the gold was won by a champion swimmer. When I saw her I really thought – wow, she is fast. Whenever we go to the pool together she never swims with me properly. We are busy trying to enjoy ourselves. I keep throwing her in the water, she refuses to swim fast and the complete length etc etc. it was quite a revelation watching her.
In the backstroke she swam well to start off amongst the fastest and the n suddenly half way through the race she slowed considerably. She was tired, I could see. She then came a close third. The reason I thought that happened was nutrition. She had dosas for breakfast. A ha… I have learnt the value of nutrition science the hard way. I was ended up explaining the low GI and high GI funda to jasmine and the value of have high fibre for breakfast and then continuous calorie intake. Especially for sports activity.
This I guess is a he change from my growing up when no matter what the breakfast at home would be a gulp of a glass of milk. It would do for any requirement. We have not learnt nutrition at all in the scheme of things. I hope at least I can try and figure this out. Jasmine also needs some distance to go on this. Especially Jispa. Jasmine exasperations have been primarily on her inability to get Jispa to eat regularly. I will have to sit with Jispa and explain to her the value and the importance of eating and eating right. After she finished her back stroke I asked her if she got tired in middle. She agreed as much. I told her that her breakfast was wrong. She was quick to blame Mummy but she the she conveniently forgot to eat her snack that mommy had sent. Jasmine tries to send her decent snack and avoid junk in the dabba, but Jispa effectively foils her noble intention.
Many times I have been able to get through Jispa’s dogged refusal to understand by using the right words and talk. This time as well the task is on me to talk to her about food. I will have to do it and keep reinforcing the same. It always helps when she has had an experience that she can relate to and remember.
So far I have stayed away from trying to coach her and trying to get into motivation, push, egg, etc. you learn you try and see if you can do your best. There is also nothing that I think I can add at this stage. I am not an expert on all this. I am also not the one screaming and shouting at the kids a la other mothers. SWIM FAST SWIM FAST is not for me. See the game, try and analyse it. See how the champions do it, learn a bit. Ask the right questions. It will make an impact. Every sport has a technical side to it which must be mastered. You focus on the basics and you will get there. And once in the pool or arena for that matter, it’s you and the sport. No mama no papa no crowd no home support. What you have learnt and what you apply will count. Post that what new experiences you have encountered and what you have you have learnt from it will count. It’s really that simple really.
In the evening a friend remarked that you father and daughter must be having a cupboard full of medals. Ha ha. I said that when I was small, I was not the fastest swimmer, not the fastest runner, not the first in class, nothing. I won practically nothing. She has already far over achieved if I was the bench mark.
I think what helps for sure is the way we place importance on physical activity and having fun. I am sure she appreciated the fact that I came for the meet. I was not sure of going but I am glad I did. I could spot something; some change that I think might help her. As the bible on parenting said something like – your presence is an indicator of the importance you place on an activity and your child definitely takes cues from that.

view on views

I came across an interesting article today. One of my key take away will be this chart that maps your leanings with your age. It seems pretty logical to me.




Here is an extract of the article
"Both socially and economically, teenagers prefer an anything-goes type situation.
But as these teenagers grow up a bit and enter the job market, they quickly develop progressive economic ideas: perhaps a bit of "levelling" seems pretty good when you're staring up the professional ladder from the bottom rung. Meanwhile, their youthful live-and-let-live social philosophy begins to fade.
In their late 20s, they start making real money. Economic progressivism goes out the window, preferably out the window of a building with a doorman. As the adult mind turns to more material matters, social views don't change that much.
Finally, after the mid-40s, retirement looms. Our former teenagers check their collective 401(k)s and think, you know what, let's all get checks from the government. Social views take a hard turn for the more restrictive. At the end of the journey, economic and social views are again in agreement—only this time on the other side of the philosophical line!"


This is the reason why we tend to get into fights with different age groups. Typically these are ideological fights. I pray that if I get older and if my beliefs change, I should learn to respect the beliefs of those younger and understand why they think their way and why I might be thinking my way. It’s important. If you understand the genesis of thought conflict may not be needed to be solved.