emulate

On yesterday’s ramblings on rebel behavior and breaking norm, here is an email from one of my friends. She is petite French lady, must be around 25, doing her bit to know the world. Now that’s a role model for Jispa.
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“I'm going to try to make it short cause many things happened since the last emails we've exchanged!I left Istanbul after working for the World Water Council who was organizing the World Water forum (one evry 3 years) in Istanbul in March, as a communications consultant and had the greatest time of my life there, because of a crazy life with a group of funny friends from all around the world. And I managed to fall in love 2 weeks before leaving lol. His name is ----, his father is Turkish (but grandparents are Spanish and Russian), his mom Dutch. I flew to Paris and he was flying to Amsterdam 15minutes later, we left at the same time! A few days later I visited him and his family in Holland and he came back to Paris with me, flew to the USA a few days later because he studies ecology and permaculture and has some projects going on.A week later I flew to Monterrey (Mexico) where my brother is a student, it was just after the big story about the swine flu started. He was supposed to meet me in Cancun but given he was in the middle of the Californian desert without phone or difficult access to the internet, I couldn't reach him! And the swine flu was a lot exagerated by the media, they were talking about closing the borders with the US and I didn't know if he could make it and even if he booked a flight ticket, it was not sure it wouldn't get cancelled. But he made it and we met again in Cancun :)Then we travelled the whole Yucatan and Chiapas regions together, he was supposed to stay 2 weeks. But he postponed his return every week and finally stayed 7 weeks with me, until last Monday. We've done all the Central America by bus: Guatemala, Belize, Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica and Panama, staying on average a week in each country, awesome experience! And on Monday I flew to Colombia where I am now and he flew to the US to get a certification in order to teach permaculture... So we'll see what happens.I'm going to Peru next, then Bolovia, Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Easter island, New Zeland, Australia etc etc. I'll be in India in February 2010 after Asia and to be honest I keep talking about my love for the country everyday!”
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Role models are important in our lives. I have firmly believed in the fact that monkey sees monkey does. A lot of what I have been able to shape my life has been thanks to the many role models I see around me. For me there is no concept of a singular role model. We learn multiple things from multiple people. I would have role models for different situations and different actions. There is inspiration from everywhere. From the taxi driver in the earlier blog to the this French lady. There is no dearth of it, only a limitation of our senses.

On inspiration here is one lovely article I read today in the Times Of India (TOI). I am not normally easily inspired by business leaders. I find them shallow, petty and stage managed. But I like the way this man has spoken, the way he is not bitter and his ability to joke on his past. Everyone has gone through tough times. I too have had my share I am sure I would have some to come. But today I can look back, laugh a bit, not be bitter and wish them well. I hope I can do so in the future as well. Normally newspapers and specially the TOI, are pretty crappy in their reporting and would rarely have gems within. Here is one such happy exception.
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‘Will we sleep on the streets now?’
Yesterday, we brought you an interview with JPMorgan chief Jamie Dimon on finance and economics. Today, we bring you a story from his life that’s poignantly funny — and yet inspirational...
Vikas Singh TNN

JPMorgan Chase chairman Jamie Dimon’s life could be straight out of a Jeffrey Archer novel—he was hired out of Harvard B-school by a billionaire who became like a father to him before they parted ways; he went from being heir-apparent at the world’s largest financial services company to working at a smaller, struggling bank; a few years later, he returned from Chicago to New York in a blaze of glory and now heads America’s largest and most influential bank (with assets of about $2.3 trillion). Today, he is arguably the world’s most powerful banker (at least in the private sector). It’s an empowering tale in an era of job losses. Dimon’s dramatic falling out with Sandy Weill has passed into financial folklore. The two men had worked closely together for about 15 years before they took over Citigroup. Dimon was widely seen as Weill’s successor at Citi, but in 1998, Weill fired Dimon (speculation has it that Dimon passed Weill’s daughter over for a promotion). When TOI met Dimon in Mumbai, we couldn’t resist asking him about that episode. ‘‘Sandy told me you have to resign. So, I said ‘OK’. I called my wife and told her, ‘I have to tell you something, it isn’t a joke.’ I was concerned about my three daughters, who were then 12, 10 and 8. I didn’t want them to hear about it in school, or read it in the papers. I sat them down and said, ‘Girls, I want you to know I resigned...I was fired.’ ‘‘The youngest one said, ‘Dad, will we have to sleep on the streets now?’ The middle one asked, ‘Can I still go to college?’ And the eldest said, ‘Can I have your cellphone now, because you won’t be needing it?’’’ After we’d finished laughing, Dimon turned philosophical. ‘‘It was my net worth that was involved there, not my self-worth. I remained the same person that I was the minute before, and I was determined that my values and behaviour wouldn’t change. Of course, there were times when I was depressed. I would walk into a room and people would treat me like a leper. But often, while jogging in Central Park, I’d be asked, ‘Are you Jamie Dimon?’ and when I said yes, they’d pat me on my back and say ‘Yeah!’ as if I was Robin Hood. ‘‘Everyone has their ups and downs. Tell me one person you admire, not just in business, but in life, and you’ll find they had their share. Nelson Mandela walked out of prison after 27 years, magnanimous to his captors. You have to get up, brush yourself and move on.’’ Dimon moved on to Bank One in Chicago, turned it around, and merged it with JPMorgan in a deal that ended with him becoming chairman and CEO of JPMorgan. Then, in October 2006, he decided to pull out of sub-prime loans even as other banks bet huge amounts on them. The result: JPMorgan was the only bank with enough cash to acquire the ailing Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual when they were on the brink of collapse. Today, JPMorgan has surged far ahead of the crisis-ridden Citigroup. So, is revenge sweet? ‘‘No,’’ he said promptly. ‘‘I still have a lot of friends there and what happened was so hard on people. I could play a sport with you and want to beat the hell out of you. But if you break a leg or have a heart attack, I’ll take you to hospital. I truly want Citi to get better. Citi’s problems are bad for Citi, for the people there, for America, and not good for JPMorgan. Also, it’s a terrible mistake to measure yourself by someone else doing badly. I want us to grow for us. Like Mandela said, ‘If you spend your life on revenge, then you are beholden to the prior people.’ You haven’t moved on, you’re still responding to them.’’
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Well, while we are on stories let me give you another one. We stayed at this man’s place in Jilling. His name is Steve Lall. There are very few instances that a vacation can have an impact on your life. This is that one place. Steve has not let a road come up to his estate and has let the hill remain a pristine place, free of evils of development. An absolutely amazing place. With just three four cottages to stay spread across 50 or more acres on a hill in Kumaon, it is as quixotic as can get. Steve is a man who is so full of life and very open and welcoming. We truly felt like we were staying as his personal guest as opposed to plain tourists.
He is one man you would want to meet. A lot of people know him in Nainital region. He is everyone’s friend and everyone’s uncle. He has no hang-ups and a simple uncluttered approach to his life. He even pressed and clicked my back bone into place!
After I came back and raved about it to a few friends one friend sent a link he found about him. I reproduce the content. Source - http://www.flickr.com/photos/markdmartin/3476360167/.
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Squadron Leader Steve P. Lall Ace MiG 21 pilot, Rebel, Environmentalist, mountain biker and Tony Curtiss Look-alike.
Squadron Leader Steve Lall or as we call him in India “Uncle Steve” joined the Indian Air Force along with my old back in 1966. Not only were they course mates, there were entry mates at the time of enlisting and also fought the 1971 war together.Steve was a born pilot, he was amongst the first bunch of guys who took charge of the MiG 21 when our Air force got them and in no time he mastered that aircraft. Steve was a kick-ass pilot and was too good at what he did which was air combat maneuvering or “dog-fighting” during the days when air defence was a critical strategy. Steve always stood for what was right no matter which class, creed, stature, race and caste he backed. While he had admirers, he too had a bunch of guys who despised him because he was good and they tried their best to find an opportunity to screw him. No one could touch Steve when it came to flying, so the only way to get him out of their way was to create situations which made life hard for him.And with this, Steve turned into a rebel, stretching the law, defying rules and every time he broke a law, he made that a milestone as he went along.Steve, sometime in 1974 got into a situation in which he was court martialed from the air force and was made to leave. While the Air Force lost an outstanding pilot, this changed him. He took over his old man’s property called the Jilling Estate which more or less is two whole mountains in the Himalayas’, married a mountain girl and called the hills his home ever since.Steve over the years learnt and realized the meaning of life and that meant finding happiness, peace, solace and serenity in the little that he had and made that his world. The mountains made Steve a whole new man and made him realize what it meant to live. He took up biking, became a nature and wildlife conservationist and got into eco-tourism by subletting cottages in the estate to the adventurous. Today Steve owns 6 bikes, selectively gives his place up in the hills on rent, bikes across the whole of India and derives happiness at every single step of the way, or hairpin turn on the mountains.Steve and my old man were close and some of the stuff they did back in the old days I’d personally never ever think of trying even today.Some of the wacked out stuff that Steve did back in the day were:• Taking his dog Kanchi (a wire haired Dachund) up for a sortie in a Mig 21; he had Air Force Sergeant Unni make a special harness that strapped Kanchi to his G-suit and took her for 1 sortie below 10,000 ft and did a few high speed passes across the tower.• After a binging session in the Air Force Mess and Club, Steve and a few folks decided to drive a steam roller back home and during the way, decided to say a quick ‘hello’ to the station commanding officer. Steve, while being an outstanding pilot, miscalculated the turn ability of the steam roller and flattened the commanding officers front gate, lawn and porch.• Steve and my old man created a band in the air force and in the day, many a damsel swore that Steve looked like Tony Curtiss, my old man looked by Charles Bronson and another lad they had on the drums resembled Dean Martin. Steve was awesome with the Trumpet but being short-tempered, when he did not get the right note he wanted, he threw the German made trumpet on the floor and stamped it on the stage.• The station Steve was posted in came out with a rule that dogs were to be leashed always at the station(!) so Steve to defy the rule, took Kanchi his dog, on top of his Harley Davidson he had, wore his swimming trunks and rode his bike straight into the swimming pool. That pretty much ended the rule.(!!).If there’s anyone who at any age wants to learn and know the true meaning of life and that too with biking maintenance techniques thrown in, and aint that crazy in the mind to take up smoking weed at 35 or joining the sex oozing Osho Ashram, I recommend spending a week with Steve.To know more about an outstanding human being called Steve Lall, visit www.jilling.net
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More stuff about him and his paradise
http://www.hindu.com/mp/2008/01/07/stories/2008010750890400.htm
http://www.jilling.net/articles.html

shoulders of giants - part 2

This is an old one. I was at an event in January where Anil Kumble spoke on captainship. He was India’s Captain for a short period and almost took his Bangalore team to victory in the Finals of the IPL. Here are some of the notes I took from that talk he gave. His clarity and experience are worth adapting for any leadership role I guess. What an awesome guy. What an awesome leader.

The first thing that Anil Kumble did on assuming captaincy was to create a document that gave the players a common team ethic and a common goal. Putting it on paper allowed the seriousness of the process to sink.
Some of the points addressed in that document were as below:

Training
Convert training into a team activity to ensure team bonding
Clearly state what the team and the captain expected of them in their training
Create training leaders who would lead the training on a day with clear training roles assigned

Selection
The playing 11 would always be decided one day prior to the match to enable them to be prepared
Give players a long rope and back them especially when they are down
Share the confidence with the players
Personally call the players who were not picked in the fifteen and give possible reasons for their exclusion

Strategy
Create a winning culture by taking calculated risks
Create a core group of senior players while including younger players to ensure that the next generation of leaders would be ready to take on the mantle

Roles
Communicate precise role expected of the player
Back the player in the media if the role was done effectively
Confidence coming in from the captain is important for the player

Attitude
Have intent to win, not just draw the test
No matter how the situation is, no matter how adverse or what the attitude of the opposition is, demonstrate an attitude that you are HERE TO WIN AT ALL COSTS

Goals
Clear stated goal that in 18 months we want to see ourselves as the number one test ranking team in the world

Recognition
Understand that everyone wants recognition; the top player as well as the newcomer
Each one is different and you have to manage each individual differently

Conformity
Communicate very quickly that a player needs to conform to team goals and strategies
Players pulled up in a team environment if they let the team down

Conflicts
Accept that there will be conflicts with diverse individuals in a team
In conflicts, manage the issues rather than looking at who the individuals are

Media Relations
Clear cut policy on talking to media
Strategize on what to speak to the media and accordingly follow it

Parting Thoughts
“At the end of it we are all humans and we all have our emotions. How you connect to those emotions as a leader (and) as group will be the key, and that’s where in these tough times all of us have to address and connect to that human”

if it ain't broken... break it

Hey hoo hey hoo… I am teaching again. After a bit of intense lobbying and behind the scene action I managed to get back to teaching again. actually it wasn’t so tough but what the hell… teaching is quite an interesting activity for me. It keeps me on my toes, helps me connect to the younger heroes and keeps me level headed. You obliviously need to be well prepared and think quickly. My rules are simple. Have tons of fun, allow for dissent and what the hell – anyone can be right. Some are just more likely to work than others. After all I teach marketing and not a pure empirical science. Logic, research and clear thinking is all that is required. Hopefully I would be able to distill some of it in the students. It pays to be a non conformist when you are teaching the younger guys. The distaste for authority is amazing.
I too have a marked distaste for rigid rules and structures. I have learnt that establishing a few ground rules and letting the rest manage it self within the realms of fuzzy logic works best for the near and the far objectives. Lets take the simple case of these new technologies that are doing the rounds. One guy in my US office got himself a twitter page where he kept putting in updates about the Indian economy and our company. The guys following him (and therefore the reverse as well) were an eclectic bunch of characters right from the straight to the porn pushers. When it did get too popular, the business started looking at it seriously and it got evaluated by the compliance division. The establishment gaped and awed at the following. How could our brand be associated with THIS? Now that page will surely die a young man. New technologies will be disruptive in that they challenge conventional wisdom and may be hard to swallow for most. The younger guys would ignore these aberrations. The word ‘cool’ comes to mind instantly. Ok so you have a gay activist following you – cool. You don’t have anyone following you – cool. As an extension the message for most would be – chill. Relax. Have a cup of coffee. The brand these days would need to be resilient enough to accommodate these outliers as an inevitable part. You cannot avoid bad karma. It might be pointless to fight it. The good karma would need to crowd out the bad karma. The question one needs to ask is how much good karma you are attracting.
A rebel or a non conformist seeks to disregard what it believes is bad karma and embraces good karma. Rebels that catch the imagination of the people are those who redefine by their actions what the fcuk is good or bad karma. I have increasingly felt distaste for suppressive authority. I may not have what it takes to be a Che G but in my own unique way I like to shake things up a bit, rile authority a bit, promote a culture that accepts outliers as agents of change and teach the stiff necks to relax.
Organizations often face the challenge of managing growth and size. Too big to succeed is something I heard my super chief musing around once. Once we become big we out in structures, complex structures, matrix structures, cross reporting structures and the works. What percentage of your time should be reporting versus doing? Accepting it as inevitability is but an ostrich response. Breaking these dogmas is the shivite response. Question and destroy these postulates. This is when strong cultures are important. You don’t need committees and manuals to tell you what to do, you need a peer that’s instills in you the right mindset. When the terrorists attacked the Taj and the Oberoi’s, the staff did not require a manual to tell them to lay down their lives for their duty, they had a culture. Often simpler set of often unwritten beliefs that consistently push the group are more important than any brand / organization manual that you would come across.
The more I read Indian mythology the more I get enamored by it. we have enough Brahmas and Vishnus. People who actively seek to create and more than enough who seek to preserve. They keep their eyes open and take on many avatars and come to the rescue of status quo. They want to be aware. There are too few who keep their eyes shut and are detached from its varied illusions or those who seek to break moulds. The blue skinned and the lotus perched cloud out and silence the ash smeared. We love preserves are fear the destroyers. Should it be the reverse?

seekho

The last post I spoke of how there are a multitude of learnings to be had one one is exposed to as many situations as possible. Take the case of the taxi guy I take when I am in Delhi. Delhi is a notorious city. I distrust every Delhi’ite I meet on the road. Every person is a seen with suspicion for a tourist. In the past I have tried avoiding delhi altogether in my travels. Then I chanced upon one man. Ashok. He runs a private taxi service. He has one Indica. I got him through my office in Delhi. Whenever I am in Delhi I contact him. He is busy most of the time but he ensures that some or the other trusted taxi is at my landing point ready to pick me. Typically in Delhi you would have quite a few hours in between your trains. This is the time to be visiting the monuments that make Delhi the capital of India. The last time he arranged for a taxi to take us around and we got to see Humayun’s tomb and Qutub Minar. This time I had to switch stations between Nizamuddin and Old Delhi. He got me a trusted guy. Since we had 4 hours to kill we took the taxi to Connaught place (now rajiv circle) left the luggage in the car, did some shopping, browsing and eating before proceeding towards our station.
On the way back the train was supposed to come in at 4 am. I called him the day before. This time he said he would be there to pick me. In the morning the train was about an hour late. But on the dot at 4 am, I get a call. It’s him. He is waiting ready at the station. We figure the meeting point at the station. When we do alight and catch him the first thing he asks me is if I am with my family. Then he asks me what time is my connecting train. It’s an 8 am. He doesn’t say anything. We exit old Delhi station and he takes us outside. He shows us Chandini chowk and the various points in Old Delhi. I assumed that was the route, but he suddenly did a u turn and I realized the dam thing was a guided tour. He then went on to Lutyen’s Delhi to show us the parliament etc etc. He asked us if we wanted to have some tea. When we nodded to took us to this special Garhwali guy who is supposedly cleaner. He got special chai made with kum cheeni. He even paid for the chai saying that he is taking us for tea and not the other way around. Then took us further around and onto India gate. “ab time hai saab, gaadi mein ghumon. Station pe kya baithna” why go to the station and wait there. Roam around in the car rather than wait at the station, was his logic. We then roamed around India gate and then he decided that it was time to leave as we wanted to grab a bite at the station restaurant.
All this he did on his own. I had not discussed money or anything with him. I knew the drop was around 400 bucks. All he had to do was drop us off at the station in 15 minutes flat and pocket 400 bucks, but he decided to take us around and show us the place knowing we were wearing our tourist hats. He also had bottled water and biscuits in the car. I looked at jasmine and proudly told her – now you know why I call only this guy, and why I don’t take a dam prepaid taxi.
Needless to add I gave him 500 rupees which meant a 100 buck (25%) tip. I think he expected it.
Ashok is a simple a Himachali man who has understood service. Its common sense. When will we MBA’s see this and get embarrassed.
For those traveling to Delhi and want to use his trusted taxi service here is his cell number – 9971257823. He said he is upgrading to an Indigo in a month’s time.

legacy, eh!

Back after a two week hiatus. It was family time with Jasmine, Jispa and me going to Kumaon. Every year vacation planning becomes very difficult. Where to go, what is the climate, how do we reach, what do we do etc… we wanted to go to Rajasthan for some time and visit Udaipur and Jaipur but somehow the plan never went anywhere. You can go there in July but we realized that if the monsoon is delayed then you could get temperatures of around 40 degrees. Whew.. so we suddenly made a u turn on the plan the finalized this plan within an hour one night and proceeded to make the bookings. So it was us visiting Pangot, Jilling and Naukuchiatal in Kumaon.of all things I missed was – updating my blog. I thought of so much to write. Now I almost feel like buying those pocket PC and fitting the dam thing with a data card. I have this kida to start writing. I would like to write on my blog, write a children’s book, write some travelogues, but sitting here and doing it from Mumbai is almost as impossibility. I would need to get away somewhere and figure.
Once I read an article on people taking up writing. One of the guys was quoted as thus – whenever I say to anyone that I am writing something, they ask me when I am going to publish it. Its like asking someone who likes playing basketball, when are you playing for the NBA. I found that quote quite inspirational. Writing for me is so personal. I write because I want to. I really don’t care who reads it. I would be most happy if my daughter would one day read it. She is probably my one and only target audience. That reminds me that I have to proof check my travelogue. Wonder why I haven’t yet found motivation to do it. Well there is precedence – I never did get around to checking my papers while writing exams and I assume I would not change anytime in the future.
Yesterday was summer solstice. Nothing about it but I had taught Jispa what it was and she had fun experiencing it. she realized it was a loooong day and it wasn’t dark till quite late. It was also a perfect date for her to shed (?) her fourth tooth. Fairy came in again and wrote some message for her. Fairy needs to get a bit creative though I believe the back pain stopped her from thinking too much.

While there is a lot I have to write about the trip – I hope to be writing about it one at a time. Whenever I go out vacationing or anywhere else, I experience new things, new stuff, I come back smarter. I learn from varied sources. It helps me lead a richer fuller life. All this comes back to me in my job. I can think of different elements that could help me do my job better. It is very important to have varied interests and be as exposed as possible. A simple interest in wildlife helped me design some collateral once. Using the right animals helped the design. Example knowing that Indian gharial is different from the average crocodile as in it has special mutations that have helped it survive by catching fish in the rivers, was used in one collateral. Some service example somewhere would have helped something else. When I was in consulting they realized this. They allowed for this. Brand strategy inspiration can come from varied sources. But companies rarely recognize this. They like to straightjacket their work, their thinking and their ideas. That’s why you get shitty slipshod work. People are trained not to get ideas, inspiration and references. One thing I hope is that Jispa leads a richer life and gets her inspirations from a billion sources. One friend of mine got it right when she saw the book collection. Her hubby was wondering what I am going to do with my book collection.
She realized that all I am doing was building a legacy.

fools rush in where...

Mumbai past life therapy. Free from a vedic psychic let her read you past and offer you the truth.
This was the mouse-over ad when I was browsing on Economic Times online edition. The word on which this ad popped up – take a wild guess… equities. I have been looking at the finance market for 9 years as a professional and more as a self respecting gujju. There is no logic to the stuff followed by the mass of people investing and the ad is a testimony to this fact. When the market is going up people are deluded into believing that their analysis is right. Sure it will be right… in a raging bull run all stocks go up! ALL. You can see people’s mood swing to these markets and move accordingly. In bear markets conviction in the best of stocks gets shaken. Every cycle it the same retail investor coming in and getting conned. He always buys high sells low. But you know I don’t pity him. He came in by greed. He thought there is free money here. He thought you could just buy off any stock and make money. He wanted to offload his shares when they are overpriced to some other guy and he got stuck in the process. Why should I have any pity for him. The government should go after the frauds but most of it is purely gambling. Should cry for those who grow broke at Vegas? Only as much as we must believe that a jack pot hits a supremely intelligent person. You gambled not invested, you lost. Sad. Get up and learn. Huge amount of government time and press space gets invested in combating and covering this rubbish.
In similar vein I can’t understand the number of people who see the market channels like CNBC etc. they are uninformative, sensationalize the present and encourage all sorts of rubbish.in fact even financial press is put off. A large part of the data is either from press releases or from wires etc. How much is actual, original analysis with insight and content. Same for magazines. No real reporting. Slowly I have stopped reading them altogether. I don’t think I am much too worse off. And I see people reading more of this. Those steeped in the markets will order and read all these papers, all the magazines and consume enormous amounts of air time. More of shit is just that – more of shit. It’s not going to make you any smarter. Stop it.
The research problem you see elsewhere works here too. Most of the research is done to ratify what you believe in. it becomes something akin to a self fulfilling prophesy. Everything points towards what you yourself are thinking. Very few really listen to the consumer. Understand what he is really saying, observe what is really happening. Compare one from another. Truth is really simple to see.
People will read some trait of someone successful investor and emulate what they want to and conveniently ignore the rest that is uncomfortable. It doesn’t work that way. I am reminded of that English phrase of missing the wood for the trees or something to that effect.
As for me…I am too bored or lazy or incompetent to really invest. I do the simple systematic investment planning and let it rest. Making money was never a high point emotionally or practically. but you know... I have seen a lot of people make money, tons of it. And I always thought I was smarter than them. Then I convince myself that the metrics is wrong... so there, even I have my excuses

lovely tree

Ficus trees such as pipal are important for a forest is what I learnt at one of the nature walks I had been for. They encourage bird life etc etc… I too noticed a lot of birds around such trees, eating fruit, nesting etc.. I loved these trees and I wished for them to be everywhere. But they come with a small caution. What caution? I parked under one of these for around 36 hours. This is what happened. Well it probably is the wrong season, I guess.. must be fruits blossoming, attracting more birds hence more poo… I don’t know.. Not that I mind too much. I just pity the poor guy who washes the car. Though visibility was an issue later.

what say?

Jasmine had a Jispa experience – man evolved from apes – ya – then there was first man and women – ya – and from them all humans evolved – ya – so then why do know so less people. Aaaaaa. Jasmine answers – well .. uhh… that’s because there are so many people and its not possible to know all. Why, you don’t even know my father’s sisters kids, do you?
I was lucky not be around or be at the receiving end of this one. Good thing her train stopped there. God knows where it could have gone. Her mind works 24X7. Constantly working, thinking, inferring. Good for her. She will grow older faster…

This is taken at Marine Drive. One of our favorite haunts. Nice buzz the place has. It is also a source for many of our memories. Our college was nearby and the courtship ritual did involve a walk on this drive way.
Marine drive has undergone a bit of make over. They tiled the place. While I would have loved a bit of color in the tiles I am not complaining too much. Atleast while laying the tiles they managed to put in a pattern which I find quite nice to look at. Thick tiles slowly becoming thin and then back to think again…. and so on…

A lot of pavements in Mumbai have been tiled red with yellow lines. But then they get dug up soon enough and the tiles are replaced haphazardly. You can see the yellow lines pattern on the top disintegrating soon enough. A metaphor for the civic services, perhaps.

After we gujjus put sev on everything we are now ready to cheese everything. If its fat, sinful, fattening and bad for health – give us more!

it's your flame

I am not convinced of the dynastic tendencies that are prevalent everywhere, whether they are in corporates or in politics. Our tendency to eulogize and patronize them leaves me a little unsure. Is our need for predictability and order forcing us to follow and be led by them? I don’t know. I understand the paternal and conservationist instincts of the leaders who promote their kin. But what is our excuse for blindly accepting them? In politics the current heir apparent to the first family of India seems to be taking the right steps to get his party out of the quagmire it finds itself in. In a party that lost its way briefly largely due to the infighting and territorial tendencies of its second rung, it probably required a surname to unite it and talk crucial decisions. Sometimes being decisive in battle is more important that weighty argument that follows turfism. Should the logical heir be a blood line? Who does the organization belong to any ways? Normally the sharply analytical Tarun Tejpal from Tehelka is pretty incisive with his searing insight. But to see him write these lines for the current Congress head was largely disappointing:
“And yes, as I bid you speed and strength, with the extra god by your side, may I make a final plea. You have given us of yourself, and of your son. Now will you kindly also give unto us your luminous daughter.”
Not that I have anything against the daughter joining in. Sure all able hands and heads are welcome. But only if he had read Shoma Chaudhury’s piece in the same issue where she talks about Rahul and the systems he is bringing in, to the once beleaguered party. She writes:
“In an innovative move geared to revive the dead old party root upwards, he hired a firm run by JM Lyngdoh and KJ Rao — former election commissioners and men of impeccable reputation — to run intra-party elections for the Youth Congress and the party’s student body, the NSUI. In the recruitment drives preceding these elections, threeand- a-half lakh new members have been signed on in Punjab; more than six lakhs in Gujarat. Sixty-five thousand new student members in Uttarakhand. Tamil Nadu and Pondicherry are next. Oxygen is coursing through the party.
“You get a true measure of Rahul if you ask the bright young people around him why they have given up brilliant futures to work in his core team,” says Lyngdoh. “As for intra-party elections overseen by an independent body, why has no party tried this before in 62 years? Every party should follow this now. It will strengthen the roots of democracy in India.” Says Rao, “We told Rahul people with criminal records should not be allowed to stand for party posts. He agreed immediately. He has also supported independent audits and complete transparency. What this means is that people doing actual grassroot work now have a chance to get elected into positions of power.”
That’s my point. Work at the grassroots and enable a system that allows, no, pushes able leaders to emerge. Those who have performed under harsh environments and worked for the cause while seeing the real bottom. That is the challenge. I wish Tarun had asked for system for more such leaders to emerge. One lucky dynastic roulette does not make a rule. Surely easier said than done, but running a country is not for the faint hearted.
I would want Jispa to take her own call, do her own thing and follow her own calling. Should she look at us as role models? May be for some traits/ behaviors, but career? I don’t think so. Look out beyond. Sometimes parents want their child to follow in their footsteps or reverse – be what they aimed for but never could be. Among the things that I thought I could have been but never could be was a nuclear physicist. I loved physics and still love it. Why dint I follow it? Too lazy, severely limited ability… hehehe. But that is one career option I would like to see. But when did what I like begin to count in any way!

ortho pra... what was that again?

Orthopraxy is a term derived from Greek (ὀρθοπραξις) meaning "correct action/activity", and is a religion that places emphasis on conduct, both ethical and liturgical, as opposed to faith or grace etc. This contrasts with orthodoxy, emphasizing a correct belief, and ritualism, the use of rituals.
Gandhiism is orthopraxic versus orthodox. Jainism which we followed since our childhood was fed almost as orthodoxic to us. Why? Why do not teach our children the power of correct action over ritual. As kids we really at some point went foul of all these practices and switched off pretty soon. We rebelled soon enough. It’s a wonder we didn’t get atheist. To my mind Jainism is as orthopraxic as can get.
As kids we loved rituals so much that we even copied the rituals of cricketers. So we might wear / use their brand of sports goods but not their sport ethic
Hinduism per say is also orthopraxic but it is sadly too steeped in rituals today and has become the beacon of orthodox practice and dogma. Everything in religion must be questioned. No doctrine can be taken as sacred. It must appeal to your inner core. Whether your core is right brained or left. When you understand your inner core and are able to find a doctrine that matches it, I guess peace will spring? Is that why people are drawn to religion? If that is so then why religion must be given by birth? Should not choosing religion be a rite of passage; to be chosen once you assume greater understanding of your inner core? Shouldn’t the religion as a child be different from that as a teen and then as an adult… I would assume that an inner core does not change significantly but the manifestations it assumes over a period of time vary. At different age cycles different elements of your personality are dominant or dormant, thus shaping your belief system and behavior. They might not be too different but enough I assume to move between religions.
Such a long discourse on religion? From me? I must shot in the brains. Jasmine and I realized one day, that in our house we don’t even have a temple, no matter how small. No small statue / image / sticker of anything that anyway resembles an act of faith or god. Well a Christmas tree in the attic does not actually count, does it? Does that make us less religious.
All this is fine as intellectual conversation. It is important to understand your core and ideal and be true to it at all times. How many of us believe ourselves to be nice and fluffy but are unable to live up to it when the test comes calling. I have let myself down a zillion times. All I hope is that I don’t the commit same let downs over again. Hopefully this will make me a better person.

riddle me ree

Here is Jispa’s reminder list for mom. On one of the Thursdays, she did not have her co curricular activity and hence would have come home by lunch… hence the instructions – no co curricular activity, cook lunch at home, pick her up at 1 pm, and count her while cooking lunch!

Well go on decipher this one:-
"Jispa Pooh Both Doshi". Poor Pooh. Now he is a Gujju! He will start having gathia and sev for breakfast.

Why do railway timetables posted on the platforms need to have ‘signing’ authority names printed on them? Wouldn’t we have believed them either way?


Look at the line for the bus. It was supposed to go straight on the footpath. It mysteriously turned towards the road hindering some of the buses. Why? Blame the commuters… Cant they stand in line?… well the answer will be easy for a common commuter, some drunk guy puked on the footpath and its still there – the puke that is. Hence to avoid it the line turns. Who do you blame now?

adventure is thy name

Jispa learnt swimming and cycling ahead of her contemporaries. And generally she seems to be learning stuff faster. Are we to be praised? While I would take some credit but a lot goes to her. As a child I feel she is more open and adventurous, she is ready to be pushed out of her comfort zone. I do see a sense of adventure. It’s not that apparent but on prodding it does come out. She is not the kid who will happily be in her comfort zone ignoring the fun happing around. She is willing to go in pursuit. She picks these cues of adventure from others and continues on. She learn to not find earth worms yuck thanks to her cousin, she loved dogs and petting them from her kaki, and so on. I keep pushing her. I finally once got her to touch a snake at a zoo and at a snake catchers place. So now smaller insects etc don’t bother her too much as well. The other day we were trying to get an earthworm onto our hands. I would hate to grow up to be an ‘eeeeeee-aieeee-its- a-worm’ type of girl. She is literally named for adventure. I would love her continue that streak. Jasmine hates this animal lover stuff. She can’t touch random insects. I am normally ambivalent about these things but thanks to Jispa I am getting I push myself.
Ability to move out of your comfort zone regularly is a wonderful quality she has that I would like to hone and develop. Keep going.

culture vulture

A squash racquet. A ha…swish it round like the Excalibur! Nice and light. 120 titanium nano from Head. Feels good to buy expensive sports gear. At three and a half k, it’s probably the most expensive gear I have bought. And wonder of wonder it improved my game a lot. Especially the weaker back hand. Nice… good fun.
There is only one squash court at the gymkhana resulting in a bit of waiting every time. Also thanks to this and the coach, the court has a great play ethic. You have to play in line and with whoever is next. This would mean that even beginners play with pros. Sure, an absolute beginner is normally taught to by the coach but soon enough he starts playing on his own. The pros too recognize this and play a low enough level to ensure a game for the rookie. Sometimes the pros get compensated by getting an extra game with someone of his caliber. If you want to play only the pros then you better wait long enough, thus snubbing out all such intent. But largely the ethic remains strong and inclusive, thus allowing for a positive atmosphere. Typically otherwise closed cults are formed and people get anal retentive, close ranks refusing to let outsiders play, creating a hold on resources. I have heard of the badminton guys doing this in the morning. This same stuff used to happen even in galli cricket games. Some teams always wanted to get in new players and used to ask new kids on the block to join them, while the others simply refused to allow others a way in. I have learnt to be inclusive. Culture is a squeeze. Be it in gymkhanas, sports teams, clubs, families or corporates. Strong cultures create pressures that those who conform to, love and those who don’t are ejected. You either fit in and mould yourself to it or, phachak… you get ejected a la soap in a shower. I guess it’s the reason for stickiness and turn over. Understanding a culture is important but creating a powerful culture is also important. Within a set culture you can form your own subset. You have to take pains to create it, eject malignant spoilers and constantly watch it. It is important for the culture to be protected. You create the culture and the culture will take care of the people in the network. If you don’t keep a tight tab on it, it will come to bite you in the bum. I will never allow for infighting and will not tolerate name calling / back biting within the team. It’s a reason why the team can remain apolitical and perform under stress. Honesty in dealings and removal of all pettiness is so dam important as well. This is something that works across all groups. Just because the overall environment might be vile does not allow you the liberty o create a virulent atmosphere yourself amongst your team. Don’t spread the virus, stop it right away.

play the game

The reason I probably played cricket for my office was because I could clear the field to any ball being pitched up to me. The main reason I continue it is because it gives me an amazing insight into team dynamics and situations. It is an amazing game that lends itself to strategy over a longer period of time. I miss that when I play squash. That is a different game. It is an individual skill game pitted against your opponent, with tons of sleight thrown in. And I would assume a game like golf will be at the opposite end of the spectrum. These vary in their need to react with the environment. In cricket you keep yourself open at all points to the environment. The situation of the team, the bowlers you play, the condition of the ground everything while focusing on your own game. It is quite a flip flop when you take in the big picture, make mental notes and immediately almost blank out and focus on next ball and play appropriately. Your metal note shelp you play appropriately. A big shot or a dour defensive. Squash means playing in your zone while keeping track of opponent’s movement and probable shot play. You constantly try to refine your game and make the opponent play to his weakness or take advantage of his position on court. Drop shot, wall shot, low winner, lob… it is a play between what you can play and what will make life difficult for the opponent. Golf is between you, the ball and the course.
Different games do different things. I am glad I played cricket for what it’s worth, I am glad I play squash. No golf yet but might to pick on similar sports like shooting or something that would help me play ‘inside my self’ more than anything else. That should be fun. No leadership, no captainship, nothing. The opponent is incidental. It’s you and your target. I guess if I swim / run with target a target time in mind the mental make up should come close. Trekking would also be similar but not the same. Now rock climbing – yup that would be something. That is also such an internal sport I assume.
All three types of sports are important to help unravel a part of your personality, if you are paying attention and if you reflect. Putting yourself in a myriad variety of situations help you understand you subtexts and help you learn, change and reinforce. Sport has helped me learn a lot. Absorb a lot. I also suspect it has helped my refine my thoughts and helped me shape my personality. For better of for worse :) I wouldn’t want to give it up for anything else in the world.

Bear me out

It’s a long day for bicharo Pooh. Here he is sleeping at night, comforted by Jispa, or is it the other way around… hard to really tell. How can you choose from two peas in a pod? Quite a random quote, wasn’t it?
But here they are…
There he is all set seat belt tied, pillow ahead as a blanket; the air conditioning is a bit cold for him, never mind the fact that he is a bear with polar fleece as skin. He still can feel cold. Even a bear has rights you know.

At breakfast. What? Of course he gets hungry. He has a bear’s appetite. But he is quite content to share Jispa’s plate. The bear necessities of life!

Nothing like a good read, huh! He is a little slow on the reading bit, but I guess with Jispa reading to him he should pick up fast. He likes the stories she reads. Many times he is just content to look at the pictures in the book that Jispa is reading. Sometimes he does get a bit distracted and looks around, at the people, more at their feet I guess.


But one thing is for sure. He likes to move around a bit. He is quite a restless child in the car. Sometimes in the boot in his box. A shoe box for the pint size Pooh.


Jispa is quite a sweet kid; she doesn’t mind sharing her stuff with Pooh. Pooh found the day a bit sunny, to say the least.

He does travel a fair bit. But he is comfortable most of the time. Not too fussy for a bear.

Back to sleep again….
Whew, all in a days work!

paisa yeh paisa

Yesterday the markets went into a tizzy thanks to a stable mandate being voting the Congress to power. It froze trading in 60 seconds by hitting the upper circuit. Not that I disapprove but this is the very stable government that controlled India for many years and created a corrupt and controlled bureaucracy. They kept pouring crores of rupees down schemes and yognas meant for the poor, the farmer, the down trodden and guess what, those poor guys remained there. And they continue to do that. I saw it all the budgets of the last five years. Yognas / schemes / plan and poor. Well ok, at least a notionally secular party with a ‘centerist’ ideology is there. But thanks to the markets overreacting I heard a lovely quote ‘the fear of losing capital has made way to fear of losing gains.’ Trust Shashank to come up with absolutely grounded one liners! Which reminds me of another one – the markets can stay wrong longer than you can remain solvent.
After being associated with equities and the wealth market for 8 years as a professional and over 15 years as a self respecting gujju, I have a slight distaste for making money. I like money but some how I don’t like making money. Gains don’t give me a constant high. I don’t count my net worth daily. I am not too unperturbed on losing opportunities. I don’t spend time hunting over the next money making scheme.
That’s where I thank Jasmine. She never was enamored by it in the first place. And now so far Jispa isn’t asking for it either! I rather spend my time being with family. I rather not be defined by my work.

wise one

A wise lady once told me. Look at the dogs. They are so lucky. All they have to do is pee twice and their home is done. One here and one there. That is their home. They don’t have to spend money, build anything. That wise lady was my daughter talking to me in the morning while I was dropping her off to her bus stop.
She seemed to have cracked the secret of life viz simplicity. If you want to happy, piss on it!
With her sparkling insight, amazing logic and simple parallels, I think she has great potential to be a spiritual guru. Watch out Deepak!

Clinical

I was at a clinic today morning for medical check. A couple of receptionists were talking to each other. One was in tears. Sweet little thing she was. From what I could make out, I think one of the doctors told her something / pulled her up and hence the tears. She was then in charge of talking my treadmill ECG test. I was so tempted to talk to her. She was obviously a younger worker. I wanted to tell her... go ahead and cry as much as you want… soon enough all tears will dry off. Mine have dried up this way as well. You will realize that when you are out there, face to face with the world, you are pretty much alone and crying just is a waste of emotion. I just tried to make some conversation, smile a bit, and get her to smile. People respond magically to smiles. I don’t know if I have the aura to pull off a ‘Munnabhai’ but I did my bit. Emotion is best controlled by change of focus I guess.
Treadmill tests are also fun. They keep increasing the speed and the incline and I can keep going on. The guys are programmed to stop the machine when the patient says he’s had enough. So they keep asking if you are ok. Sure I am ok. I go on like this for 20/30 minutes…the doctor came in and said enough. One more bar for my ego!
These clinics are so sterile environments. Absolutely boring. While lying down for one type of ECG I wondered why we can’t have ceiling art. That’s the only thing you see in a clinic. Messaging every where, small jokes, wise ones, sayings… they all have a role to play. Mix them enough and keep the mind occupied. And use splash of color, voila!
Another irritant is that the treadmill follows the fasting sugar test. At least leave a drink at the treadmill. A cheese cube perhaps. Offer tea, three glucose biscuits, humble chikki… it can’t cost that much!

From the below photograph it obvious who goes to gymnastic class.

dream a little dream for me

Jispa woke me up early morning. Poor thing. She was getting bad dreams. Cute cute Bingo, the dog she feeds every morning was biting her. Oh ohhh… that is bad. So I took her back to her bed. Comforted her a bit. Clearly she didn’t like the dream. I was telling her a bad dream is just that … a bad dream.”why don’t you just change your dream. Think that bingo is no longer biting you but petting you” I can change my dreams, so I was hoping she can too. “why do we get bad dreams?” she asks. “Well...” answering that question at 2 a.m. is a little tough. “sometimes when you are thinking too much, and you think of something bad happening, then you think that in your dream. Then you get bad dreams. It’s just your brain thinking.” “I got it. When you are thinking at night it is a dream. In the morning when you are thinking it is thinking”. “ya……goodnight Jispa” “good night dad, thank you papa”. I never knew being woken up at 2 am would be such a light feeling!

I dont know how to upload only MP3's hence the you tube videos. ignore the video bit just listen....



and then this one. one dedicated to Jasmine and one to Jispa :)




Another year another annual results for the employees. Me thinks it getting to be a bore but its always head bloating when you get tons of appreciative mail and when I put in subliminal stuff that only I can understand. Faltu kinky happiness I get. I get special kicks when people take it seriously. I turn this stuff around in an hour max. What does it take to write nonsense? And this time around I even drew the images in it.

memories

I don’t know why hearing this song gives me goose bumps… I just don’t know why….. I love this song…. Probably because I heard it as a kid over and over again thanks to my brother who had adopted it as his anthem. And we had one player and one room and so what ever he liked I heard. What luck he had decent taste in music.

oh come off it, it's just a bag

These are two pictures of Jispa when she is off to school. What is so interesting about it? Go on think, look closely. Well. Give up? The zips are all on one side and the bottle is on the other side. What is so interesting about it? I don’t know. THIS is how it should be. Ok. Whatever you say.


This is a bag that was gifted to me by my friend Mort. He and his wife run an interesting gallery called Chatterjee & Lal that focuses on new upcoming art. I keep getting their mails and I am quite enthralled by the stuff that they keep identifying. I don’t know why in the middle of all the work I have never once managed to go there. I should be. I hope to have some art hanging around my home someday. Right now my current home hardly has any walls. But will figure…
Coming back to the bag. I love this bag. It is perfect combination of character ethic and personality ethic. It is what you want it to be. Functional or attitude… it is the eye of the beholder that decides. Opposites Reconcile.

Here is an extract from a website http://www.profitadvisors.com/in_out.shtml that outlines character v/s personality ethic. We used to us eth phrase quite commonly while in Momentum Consulting. Calling each others actions as per the ethic we deem fit. It was quite amusing.
There have been two dominant theories of achieving success in the literature of the past 200 years, the personality ethic and the character ethic. The personality ethic has been in the forefront since World War I. Previously, the character ethic was dominant.
According to the character ethic, it is most important to focus on integrating the principles of effective living into one's character. This may be a long-term process, but working on the character, including an effective view of the world, is getting at the root from which behavior flows and so is fundamental. The character ethic sees individual development as a long-term process bearing results according to the law of the harvest.
According to the personality ethic, there are skills and techniques one may learn and a public image, personality and attitudes one may develop that result in success. The problem is, eventually we may be discovered as insincere and shallow. These ideas may be helpful when they flow naturally from a good character and the right motives, but they are secondary.
A paradigm is a model, theory or explanation of something else. It is the "lens" of our preconceived notions through which we view the world. If our paradigm is not close to reality, our attitudes, behaviors and responses will not be effective or appropriate. We will be as lost as a person trying to function in Chicago with a map of New York. We can only accomplish quantum improvement in our lives if we accomplish a paradigm shift resulting in a more accurate and effective view of the world. Some paradigm shifts may be fast (a blinding flash of the obvious), some are more slow (a change in character).
The Seven Habits is a principle-centered paradigm. Principles are guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value -- they are fundamental.

Not too soon

On Saturday we left for a visit just off pune, to Jadhav Garh. Its quite a nice property. They have restored an old fort and it’s a smallish place but well restored and touched up. Going for the drive with family is decent enough incentive. Every time I end up driving most of the time as I don’t really mind and I guess it’s the male thing to do. But I hate it when I hit the roads in Mumbai and I like to give to Jasmine. She complains that I just drive the mind dead freeways and hand over the bad traffic to her. This time I gave her the wheel as soon as we hit the Expressway on the way back. It was pretty cool to doze off in the next seat. I should do this more often.
We enjoyed the place. It’s a good retreat for a couple of nights. Quite a relaxed one. With no TV at home we hardly do watch TV at the hotels itself. And when we do, it becomes a three way fight with Jispa wanting kiddie stuff, Jasmine for music or stage shows and me going for sports. With Jispa and Jasmine both settling on 9XM for music I get voted out. Now I am forced to watch Bollywood videos being churned out in between funny fillers. These fights help us reiterate our promise never to get a TV at home. The other thing we realized that in the last two and half years the TV and its ubiquitous TV remote has gotten pretty hep as well. We saw games, selection of movies, radio, etc on the TV. And we saw a remote like none other. So many options. It took us a few minutes trying to figure out the keys. We still got it wrong a few times. We shut out the TV a couple of time. But give us some time. We too will get there. Not too soon though.

shit happens

Resilience
The physical property of a material that can return to its original shape or position after deformation that does not exceed its elastic limit
An occurrence of rebounding or springing back
Resilience is the property of a material to absorb energy when it is deformed elastically and then, upon unloading to have this energy recovered. In other words, it is the maximum energy per unit volume that can be elastically stored.
Resilience in psychology is the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and catastrophe. It is also used to indicate a characteristic of resistance to future negative events. In this sense "resilience" corresponds to cumulative "protective factors" and is used in opposition to cumulative "risk factors". The phrase "risk and resilience"' in this area of study is quite common. Commonly used terms, which are essentially synonymous within psychology, are "resilience", "psychological resilience", "emotional resilience", "hardiness", and "resourcefulness".
The mental ability to recover quickly from depression, illness or misfortune.
The physical property of material that can resume its shape after being stretched or deformed; elasticity.
The positive ability of a system or company to adapt itself to the consequences of a catastrophic failure caused by power outage, a fire, a bomb or similar.

Escapist
Intended for or tending toward escape; especially, used to avoid, deny, or forget about reality, as through fantasy
Someone who wants to escape; especially from reality
Escapism (an inclination to retreat from unpleasant realities through diversion or fantasy)
A person who escapes into a world of fantasy

axiomatic

We have three microwaves in the office pantry. Two are behind the counter and one is in front of it. The two are meant for the pantry staff to heat the food and give and the one outside is meant for the employees to heat their own lunch. The dabbawalla has been giving me the slip and hence these days I am carrying my own lunch to work. This means quite cold lunch which needs some reheating in the office microwave. So I have been reheating my food and gulping it down. Since yesterday the microwave outside has been spoilt which means I have had to give the food to the pantry staff for reheating. Today I told them to just shift one of the working ones outside so that it easier for them. The junior merely looked at his senior who said “only you used to use that microwave outside”. Huh? “Everyone else gives US the food for reheating”. What hell? The plates are outside, the spoons are outside. All one has to do is to transfer the food and reheat it on your own. Why would you want to give it to someone else? Its so dam easy to do it. I guess I am a little do it yourself kind of guy. This side of the world there is enough cheap labour for everything and this labour is also ready to do anything. I am sure in the west they would have been pointed to the micro outside. A lot of these ‘self reliant’ thoughts were formed well in advance. I hated to let the servants do too much for me. Its something I like Jispa to learn as well. She is amongst the few kids we know in her circle without a maid. Everyone else has one to piggy back upon. The maid runs for them, gives them water and food on demand, plays with them, follows them to parks, gardens, movies parties, holidays, vacations…everywhere. Jasmine and I, I guess, just prefer to do our own thing. I also learnt to do a lot of my house work from my father. There is no problem doing the dishes, cleaning up after food or having your wife stay up late to serve you. You just get on without disturbing too many people. I first realized this cultural mismatch at my in laws. First the males would sit to eat while being served by the women. They would then sit later. Especially when guests came in. very rarely has the entire family sat in together for the meals. Whereas I prefer everyone sitting in and eating together. The rotis might be a bit less warm but the dinning table conversation will be warmer. Dinner together was the rule when I grew up. Since dinner together is almost impossible in Mumbai given the timelines, I am trying to enforce a breakfast together rule. Jasmine undergoes some stress on this with all her work starting off in the morning but I think it should work. I just have to be at it everyday. I don’t mind being the enforcer in this regard. The axiom - a family that eats together, stays together

understandably rebelious?

When we were much younger we hated to attend marriages. We hardly knew any one. we only met irritating aunts and uncles we didn’t know. The only things they did was pull our cheeks and ask us “audhkhe khe?” (recognize me?). no pea brain. I am 10 years old. I met you once in bad light conditions and then on you have grown balder, fatter and older. I would only remember you if you had an annoying habit like plucking you nose hair, belching after food, and acting shy at the lunch table before going on to gulp 4 rasgullas. Else why would I know you? If I knew of you, I would have answer to the next question “kaun chu, hun?” (Who am I?). Either you are an insignificant grain of my complex adolescence or call you by the quirk of name that follows your habit – uncle burpo, or farto or whatever we remember you by. Inevitably the answer we would shyly mutter – ‘I don’t know; who (on hell) are you uncle?’ acting almost apologetically angelical. It was easier to avoid this marriage mess. Mom you go. Why should I come? I don’t know the bride or the groom or anyone in between. The tweens were an irrationally rebellious age profile.
On Sunday we were to go for a colleague’s marriage. On Saturday Jispa wanted to stay over at her cousin’s place. I told her about the marriage we have to go for. Her repartee was instant “I don’t want to come. Its so boring. I don’t know any one. Why do you have to go for a silly marriage?” I didn’t know that the irrationally rebellious age started this early these days.
Ok fair. I remember my childhood. You can stay with your cousins and enjoy. We are going. Bye.

Fastbreak

Sighhh… back to office from a four day break. One for elections, one for May day and the other two being weekends. They came and went in a breeze. Fast break... get it? hahahaha...
Who do you vote for in elections? In the absence of real issues and choice do you vote for a national party or the independents? Do you vote against a party or for one? Must you believe that you must make your vote count and vote only amongst the candidates that have a chance thus making it count for more? All theories are equally good. Voting is a personal choice. Whatever your theory it’s probably good; propounding your theory to others… probably bad. Whenever I vote I do get a bit emotional. I can scarcely believe that thousands of people gave up their lives and much more so that we have this right. Post independence a lot has been denied to us but on one yet has taken this right from us. It is a democracy’s oasis in the midst of totalitarian deserts. Hehehe. That came out a bit more poetic that intended.
Jispa is a compulsive reader. She reads hoardings, wall paintings, packets anything. Now she has started reading Hindi as well. She was showing me the alphabet ‘zuh’ in Hindi painted on the booth. ‘Did you learn it at school?’ ‘no.. It’s on the milk carton. The milk name is amul taaza. It is also written in Hindi. So I know it’s ta and za. So I know this one is ‘zuh’’ ‘uhhh. Ok. Cool’ am I getting used to her brains? I just hope her teachers don’t drag us to school to tell us not to teach her ahead of the class. This time we weren’t doing anything extra. It’s her kidas… not ours. Honest.
Yesterday we sent to Pune to attend a wedding. The bride was three months pregnant. Don’t get too scandalized. The poor couple had gotten married earlier in a simple court marriage as the groom’s father was unwell. Now they wanted to have the full scale wedding done. Parents too have stupid fixations. I pity the bride. Three months pregnant and going through the ordeal of an Indian wedding. Bending down a zillion times to touch the feet of the elders. I told the groom to take it easy on the genuflection, for his wife’s sake.
It was also the first time that I saw a woman photographer at a wedding. not that it should make a difference, but it’s the first instance that I saw one. Yay, yay…
Here is a photo at someone’s desk of a currently in rage spiritual guru. Notice the not so subtle transformation from God man to God in three simple steps. Cool nah!

its your journey kid

Here she is walking ahead…

Jispa is becoming a big girl. She wants her independence. These days when I go to drop her off to school she does not want to hold my hand. She likes to walk on her own a bit away from me. She knows the way from where we park the car to the bus stop. It’s a bitter sweet. I would like her to be independent but I would love to continue holding my hand. I just can’t get over walking with her hand in my hand. I sometimes give some emotional to her to hold my hand saying, she needs to take care of papa… but I guess its time to let her go. There will be many such moments in her life when it will be up to us to let her go. Many times we will push her to be independent and many times she will push us. I guess the entire trick in parenting is in knowing when to hold on and when to let go. Like this instance when I am holding on for myself and not really for her.
It is the blanket that gives security to Linus van Pelt not the other way around.

healthy mind healthy body (what fart nah!)

I would like to put a premium of fitness. Waking up at 5.55 am getting to work, finishing it, getting to the club by 8 for a game of squash and then reaching home by 9.30 pm to dinner and bad, is not easy. Sometimes one wants to just let it be and relax, reach home early read a bit doze off. But I want to push the body. It must remain fit if it has to last. I hate putting on weight. I like to be lean at all times. Right now I am quite at ease at what I weigh. At 68 I am nearly ten kilos more than what I was at college. I was pretty skinny then and reaching the other end of the spectrum is not my goal. I tell Jasmine many times that if I ever get fat, shoot me. The key to staying there is eating right and exercising right. Squash is bloody tiring. Especially with a player who is purposely hitting you shots that you can reach. The rallies can go on forever. I hate unforced errors and if neither is going for the kill then the physical drain is way too much. I can’t play the game everyday. One day game must be followed by another day of rest. It’s way too much physically demanding. And then we try swim on weekends. The most exciting new exercise for me is holding the board outstretched in my hands and using only leg power to propel. It’s more difficult than I thought and it’s awesome exercise for my knees. It has considerably strengthened them. They pain much less after squash these days, almost negligible.
Jispa has been learning Hindi and she has been using every opportunity to polish her skills. Here is the milk booth near the bus stop which she uses as her reading board every morning. For the record her most boring subject for now is math followed by any subject that has to have her do some writing. With these preferences, she is at present quite the antipode of what I was. I hated Hindi and could do math for hours...

Wolf

On Sunday we went to meet Jasmine’s Grand ma. She is possibly a nonagenarian. They didn’t really track birthdays that long back. She stays at Jogeshwari. Because it’s far off, we don’t get to go too often. She was unwell recently and Jasmine wanted to go and meet her. I was ok and planned to club it with a visit to the Landmark book store near by at Andheri. While I came I must admit I wasn’t exactly super enthusiastic. After I saw granny I realized my mistake. She clearly was unwell. Ninety years and she was tired. It takes a toll on you I guess. If someone you love is not doing too well, you must go visiting right away. You may well regret it later. My attitude sucked. I learnt a lesson that I hope I don’t forget.
We don’t really understand the significance of the ultimate reality as we are younger. But as we grow older one realizes the irreversibility of time and reality. We form bonds, dependence and support. These are hard to work against once they grow stronger. I feel a lot more than I used to.

On an other note:- I love the line that Jack Nicholson muttered to himself in ‘The Bucket List’. He was suffering from cancer and more so from its treatment ‘some lucky guy is dying of a heart attack’

We did go to Landmark later. It’s got quite a nice collection of books. Merchandising is so dam important in a book store. With a world of possibilities at your doorstep a bookstore makes critical decisions on their stocking and displaying that affect both sales and the type of customers they attract. Crosswords comes a distant second and Oxford brings up the rear. Their graphic novel collection is the best I have seen. Pretty decent.

Right now as I type there is a fire alarm that has gone off. No one knows what to do. We are just sitting and ignoring assuming that irritating thing does not exist. Funny, we don’t really expect the fire alarm to actually tell us about a fire. We just assume its not working. Must be some malfunction somewhere. It’s just the boy who cried wolf. The deviation is that we don’t believe it even if it’s the first time he cried. There is no wolf. There is no cry. Sure enough the alarm is now off. With no one panicking and no one caring too much. Next time when there is a wolf….

frayed nerves

This is pooh that Jispa likes to play with. This time she wanted someone to make her sleep. Poor Jasmine tried for 20-30 minutes. Somehow Jispa didn’t sleep. Then jasmine had to go and finish work. Jispa still wanted someone around and I was having dinner. So I got pooh to pet her and put her to sleep. There can you see pooh petting her to sleep. His left hand is on her forehead. He is quite a good pooh. Thanks pooh (bicharu pooh).
Jispa and I continue our face off on the buttoning issue. Random irrational arguments continue too happen. Jasmine has low tolerance for these. I quite enjoy them.

Jispa’s latest book - The concise Oxford English Dictionary. She learned to use it recently. She sits with it and reads it. We have to read out the difficult words and explain the meanings of the words that explain the meaning of the word. This is going to get pretty testing on our frayed nerves.

Cleanliness Campaign – bureaucracy way of telling people what to do and not bothering about it themselves. Who do you think will listen? Look at this poster. Notice the huge amount of dust that has accumulated on it over a period of time.

one two... we are coming for you...

I have been a late adopter of the RSS technology. I guess I just have been plane lazy. I remember being in the fore front of new tech when I was a part of the dot com boom in the year 2000. I gave a better paying opportunity for a lower paying one but with the promise of new technology. Of course it busted in no time at all hehehhe… But it was fun while it lasted and the effects lasted for a longer time to come. It sure helped me get some great learnings and insights. Enough to screw the current network administrators on their own jobs. It also helped that my dear friend happens to work on linux and is an enthusiastic evangelist. He can research a topic till the end and talk on it forever. Good fun I guess. His sign off line “In Googlis non est ergo non est” also bore testimony to this. I don’t think he uses it still. He always gives me enough dope for me to remember a fraction and use it at the right place to look… well… intellectual. Hehehehe.
Carrying on this – I guess I would have to get a little more curious on new tech going on. It is important that one is aligned with the hot stuff as it is stupid to be alien to it. blogging might be an old thing but I still can see a billion in my office not clear about it. Now that I am in to it, I can’t seem to know what took me so long.
The stuff that’s the fad these days is social networking and twittering. Twitter might be interesting but way to minute for my liking (for now at least) and social networking – way to frivolous for my liking (for now at least). Why would I want to update my mood every two hours?
In social networking sites one thing is for sure, Indians don’t seem to have gotten over their fascination for foreign travel. I don’t know how much is show off versus travel that seeks understanding and exposure. It’s more like a flag planting exercise. That is clearly evident in the plethora of profile photos you see online. Man in front of Eiffel tower, same man in front of big Ben, then him in front of Westminster, Brussels square, Times Square, everywhere. Get off the pic dude, you ruining the scene. I can understand one odd photo like that but to have your profile pics like that, the albums have all these photos??? I thought the camera shutter timer was invented for the honeymoon couple. But no, it is invented for the lone flag planting megalomaniac.
Though when I say Indians am I deriding them needlessly? Is this the same across nationalities? I don’t think so from what little I see, I think the Indian do this a lot more as opposed to the first world. I sure the pakis and our other third world nations would exhibit similar traits.
Another factor to new technology is that it is rapidly democratizing the world. Lofty words but I am serious. A case in point is the recent case of an alleged IPL player who is blogging away about the behind the scenes action. He sure is causing the team a lot of stress. The ones doing well, behaving well should not be worried but the others could suddenly have their skeletons exposed. Not so easy isn’t it these days. You could be caught and exposed by a blogger, a camera cell phone, a tele lens or just plane TV news crew which seem to be everywhere catching just about anything. The notion of Big Brother will soon be replaced by BIG FAMILY. Its not just Big Brother that’s going to be watching you, it could be your little sister or the third cousin from your mama’s side or some guy you don’t even know you are related to. Keep your belt firmly on.

it pays to have an imagination

Jispa told me that she is going to learn about Helen Keller. Hmmm. I think I remember. She was the blind lady, right? I ask. Yes, but you mustn’t say blind. She was hearing impaired and seeing impaired. Blind and deaf are bad words. Ok ok. I understand. Thank you Jispa. Jispa also told me about her teacher, Ms Sullivan. A ha… yes now I remember the story. I told her that her teacher put her hand under running water and then wrote the letters on her palm. Yes, Jispa recollected that part as well. It’s quite a cute story. She was only introduced to Helen’s story. The detailed study is to follow.
She also a subject called creative writing. That’s a pretty cool subject where you write stories. The teacher gives a topic and then puts up a chart with some guidelines. Basically a set of four points to follow. For the essay on a gift the first point was like who gave you the gift and why.
I want her to ask the teacher if she is allowed to invent words and write them in the creative writing class. I mean as the name suggests it is a creative writing class, isn’t it? How about words like rubicked - used to describe an action of the dog as he rubs against your leg and licks your ankles or a kiduth – when a kid tells you the truth as she sees it but goes against popularly accepted norms. For example, a tooth fairy comes and writes notes to her. Let me try and get Jispa to do something like this in her class. That should be real fun.
Today morning she was angry at Jasmine while she was wearing her school uniform. Why? Well Jasmine hadn’t buttoned the uniform shirt while she was ironing it. Does Jispa hate buttoning it? No. what she wanted to do was take the buttoned shirt, unbutton it, then wear it, then button it. Simple. Poor Jasmine was needlessly exasperated. Everybody should like doing chores that a complete waste of time, nah? I got in to explain that “if that’s the right thing to do then I would scribble all over the books and then you would have to erase it all before writing on it”. Jispa replied – “ok”. To which I said “not any books, I will do it in your school books”. “teacher will scold you” “I will say that Jispa likes it” “but I will say that I did not like it and papa did it” “I will say that Jispa likes it like that only, the same way Jispa likes the shirt to be buttoned before it is unbuttoned and then buttoned again” “huff (make face, silence) huff (again)”. Please add one point to my tally.

random is what random gets

Jispa lost tooth number three. This time she was ready for the tooth fairy’s white board writing. She left a letter for her on the whiteboard expecting the tooth fairy (TF) to read it. Sure the TF read it and responded back. They have this nice relationship going. They love each other. They also try and write to each other in cursive handwriting. Jispa loves that bit for sure.

Today she was explaining how like the Manoribel hotel where one kitchen is for both veg and non veg food, her school has one room for western music and western music instrumental class. Whatever!

A marriage I went to – the poor guy must be baking in the heat and the lights. Don’t miss the white extended shoes, the raised collar, and the scarf with the resplendent jewel. Oh the groom too deserves the shine he gets. What did I wear at my marriage? well, for starters - brown shoes.

Notice the bag shop on the first floor. What is so interesting about it? Look closely. Notice the glass door. It is open. Now where does that door lead to? To the top of the bottom shop’s signage?

Architecture that does not understand angles? In Wadala Big Cinema’s bathroom, the mirror is strategically placed so that one you turn around from the wash basins to look at the mirror you will not see yourself but you get a view of the urinals. I had noticed this before but I could only shoot this time when there was no one relieving, as the urinals do not have modesty marbles between each other as a lot of bathrooms used to have at one point of time. Modern architecture has gotten rid of those and added mirrors. Voyeurism has new backers

This is entrance to the spanking new restaurant at CST station. It couldn’t have asked for a more horrid placement. That’s the stinking dirty men’s loo next to it. Look at the arc above. It’s common between the two.

role on

Wonder of wonders, its the summer vacations and yesterday (Sunday) the swimming pool was empty barring a couple of energized souls. Wonder why. Vacations are normally such a bad time that one can get a clear lane. Last week I almost crashed into another person. The club also does not allow guests into the pool in the vacations for the same reason. Too crowded. But yesterday was an aberration, or was it? Then it dawned upon me – it has to be the IPL. The IPL season two has launched giving the kids the reason to stay home during the vacations and watch cricket non stop. The Economic times today talks about lower ratings for the IPL as compared to last year. Well the ground level reality is that people are following it. Let’s see how it pans over the length of the competition.
But on the other hand these developments are hardly encouraging. We are building a nation of sport fans. I have a huge axe to grind against their ilk. I hate their lot. A lot of these sport fans are die hard fans who don’t miss a game and analyse it no end. They have opinions and attitude. It’s a pity that their pot bellies match up their swollen heads. I find it ridiculous that the majority of these do not play a game themselves and are hopelessly out of shape. They do not understand the technicalities of a game (they always claim to though), they sit on their butt all day and scream obscenities. I overhear kids in trains discussing the latest football match in Europe, or the cricket game but I never overhear anyone discussing the match they played on the field. I would want IPL to be a role model for a million kids to take the field and play, not sit in and scream. You cannot be a sports fan if you do not attempt to play the game. Play it, understand it and apply it. But for heaven sake don’t be an arm chair expert. I have no patience for it. But then the problem is the parent, he is the role model instead of the cricketer.
Jispa had been going for gymnastics and yesterday at daadi-house I kept gymnastics on TV. Instantly she started jumping around doing cart wheels. Wow that’s a cool. Role models are important in kid’s lives. If you see someone at the pinnacle of the sport you are inspired to emulate. You have goals in your mind. I think this cuts across all age groups. I think my problem right now at work is that I have no role model. Sure there are a lot of role models in a lot of small things that I definitely look at and benchmark. But somehow it’s not adding up. How do I push my craft.

zen in the art of english

It’s nice to have a robust vocabulary. One must use words to convey what one means and it pays (probably) to have an arsenal on your side. I read a fair bit but I am probably constrained in this regard. I have a pretty average vocabulary consisting of everyday words and not anything esoteric.
One of things that I remember being taught about Buddha was that he taught to his followers in a simple language. Thats how the message spread. So when I read ‘the book of Buddha’ by Arundhathi Subramanian, it was quite a task. Quite ‘unbuddha-like’. Here are 55 words I have marked out. From a 139 page thing book. Some you might know approximate meaning, some you will know for sure and some … take a wild guess. No I am not providing answers. Do your own bit of googling. Read at your own risk (to you English ego). Even after looking them up I would still forget to know the meanings.

Sacerdotal
Intercession
Doctrinaire
Veracity
Succour
Apocryphal
Searing
Palliatives
Desiccation
Interstice
Kierkegaardian
Self abnegating
Ascriptive
Esoteric
Exoteric
Pedagogic
Hagiography
Procrustean
Raconteurs
Canon
Florid
Parasol
Eulogize
Patrician
Hedonist
Heterodox
Equanimity
Dialectic
Maelstrom
Mephistophelean
Proselytizer
Dystopic
Galilee
Vicarious
Parricide
Transmigrating
Noumenon
Praxis
Geriatric
Ennui
Sentience
Posit
Welter
Proclivity
Volitional
Emancipated
Ardor
Fecund
Nihilism
Cataclysmic
Syncretic
Propitiate
Laconic
Beatitude
Carapaces

mark it

Ever since I started using the pencil on the books I am enjoying underlining interesting stuff and marking out the important sentences. Its good fun but does not account for a pretty book. But at least it’s easier to refer to later. At least that’s the theory. So I underline, mark out, circle words that I need to refer to etc etc… here is one book that I am currently reading and this is what the pages end up looking like. If you see the underlines are quite shabby and are not done with straight lines. That’s not because my hand is shaky (possibly from too much booze) but because those are lines marked out in a train. Dodok dodok, dodok dodok. The lines will also follow similar rhythms.
Next to the book is my satchel. It’s a Mao bag that a friend of mine brought for me from Chine. It reminds people of their school bags I guess. It is definately the same material as my school bag was earlier on. I love it for some reason and its been my handy companion for some time. Useful to put in a book or two along with the pencil!

That’s Jispa and her sister Angel.