PTM's a breeze with a star

Friday was parents teachers meeting at Jippy’s school. Jispa is quite a good girl and obedient. She is also fairly ahead of the class in most activities. We listen to stories of her being the star of the class etc. well I guess it’s a good thing. Let’s see how she grows up. Kids have a habit of short circuiting by the time they graduate.
They have a board on which the parents have to write some notes for their kid and last time around we wrote something funny. this time around I decided to get even more funnier. I wrote some rhyming stuff about silly billy rumpa killy. Jispa told me that the teacher read out all the notes in class and then at the last she read her note again. I have this knack of writing utter nonsense and getting away with it in the name of irreverence. But I like the fact that Jispa is getting exposed to different sorts of humour. Her entire class enjoyed it, it seems. Way to go. Now I feel proud. I am a self conceited arrogant ass. All that star kid thing is nothing compared to this!

Jispa has been eating carrots everyday – reason – her teacher told her that eating carrots gives you sparkling eyes. She didn’t like them before. Now also she cant finish them all but that does not stop her from attacking a carrot every morning and then feeding the last half to us.

Check it out…


We told her teachers about chakram. Now I draw her, a chakram on her hand before she goes to school. She loves it! This is the same chakram whose adventures are drawn on our walls.

random random

This shit is becoming a routine. Every day I come in to office early and the take an interview. I need people and since I come in early I get them in early as well. This leaves me little time for my blog. This blog is something that I cherish so much. Hopefully it becomes a body of work over a large period of time. I guess the trick is to dedicatedly write something or the other. Jispa is of course the most important part of the blog. I doubt if I could have written if not for Jispa.
One other interview was happening and the dame casually mentioned that she blogged. Now we wanted her to show some of the work that she wrote. I just googled her and got to her blog site and submitted that to the boss to evaluate. She passed! Great. But then she got engaged to be married in Delhi so she could not get the job. But goes to show how far a blog can go. There are tons of privacy issues as well. God knows how all read my blog. Who knows who will read and psychoanalyze my blog to figure out what an ass I am? Well as of now I don’t care. I can always turn it off from the Google crawlers and there you are - privacy resumed.
This piece is also written over a couple of sittings. Obviously between interviews. The balance of power has shifted from the interviewer to the interviewee. They don’t even get their CV’s printed these days. But I don’t blame them. I don’t remember the last time I printed my CV. I hardly made my CV since a long time. That’s what you get for being happy and content. Shit will hit you and you won’t expect it!

I redecorated the desk. Jispa was my interior decorator.

47 at 32

47 runs off 37 balls including 1 six and five fours. Not bad after being sent one down since no body else wanted to go up. I reached the crease in the first over itself with the ball swinging around off. I was struggling to even connect the ball leave alone get off the mark. It took me a tedious 6 balls. This is almost an eon in a twenty over match. But I hung in. I realized that I as I play more, I think more and that has actually helped improve my game. Now days my mantra is simple if it comes in play straight and if any ball is wide, hit hard. That works well in the start when you are not sighting the ball too much and the ball is swinging around a bit. I hung in there, a couple of fours and a few singles and twos and I was well on course. After I played my self in the runs began to come in much better. Keep the head down and concentrate on the ball. Then I realized another thing that guruji Arun spoke about – bat speed. I concentrated bit on that as we need to accelerate the scoring and well the shots began flowing. Every season I learn something new. The must be learning good as the scores as definitely improving!

How the hell did humans invent this game with such a hard ball? One shot took an inside edge and whacked into my inner thigh. Wow. That hurt. Right now it’s a red blue, purple patch that is so bloody scary to look at. I have also learnt not to show too much pain on the field. Take that in your stride and face the next ball. I was also lucky to get a run off that ball so that I could relax a bit before I took strike again. I remember Arun telling me not to show pain. I also remember Sachin getting hit by Brett Lee and not even flinching. So that’s that. I can only tell you that the ball is really hard and it hurts like hell.

I am filing this from Indian School of Business campus, where I am here for a training program. Leading teams for high performance. I am generally a cynic of this but I guess like any good book, if I can learn one good thing, just one, then it’s well worth the effort. This is the first three day training that I am attending. The one day ones have been quite boring so far, quite useless as well. Will let you guys know if it was worth it!

Wilderness in the city

My daughter is going to be demented and I am sure it’s my fault. We have a lot of fun everyday in the morning while dropping her off to work. We have made friends with two dogs already. One is called two biscuits but does not eat any biscuits; the other one is called bingo. Bingo is the name of any dog that we see. We keep saying ‘hi bingo’ to every dog we see and ‘hi jojo’ for every bovine creature. This started in Jaisalmer where there were tons of them around, lots and lots of all kinds of cows. Now also on the way to the bus stop we take a short cut through a not so happening area. On one corner there is a garbage dump. So we can see tons of jojos, bingos and absolutely fantastic kites. In fact just yesterday I saw a kite swoop down and pick up what looked like a rat in its claws and fly away. Really brilliant. Garbage in the city is the only way we can see wild life I guess. We also enjoyed seeing these kite fly around in Jaisalmer from the roof tops. Such magnificent birds.

Well in any case here is she imitating me in the morning. I first put it on my head since she was reluctant to wear it, then she decided to do it herself. I tell you Jispa, if you someday wonder where you get your irreverence from – the answer is definitely not your mom.

It was nice playing the intra dividision tournament on Sunday at Matunga Gym. Man I feel like a demi-god in fitness. I run faster than any one else and I definitely play better than most others. And thanks to the boss Arun Solanki, I understand the game better than any one else. One idiot tried to sledge me and said stuff after I got out. I mean what’s the point of sledging after someone is out. You sledge to get me out and after mission is accomplished its end of the story. You shut up. So this idiot was fielding after wards and he misfielded and let a few go. I let him hear a few comments. It made him look such an idiot. Sledge smart you idiot. Never lose sight of your brains. NEVER.

Its the love of the game

It’s getting a little difficult to get inspiration to update the blog. I really don’t want to write crap though arguably my entire blog could one big pile of junk. I just picked up ‘the motorcycle diaries’ written by Che Guevara before he was CHE Guevara. His achievements in his life post the motorcycle diaries make the motorcycle diaries what it is today. I have no such delusions about my blog but I still like to think of it a little like that. A little romanticism never hurt anybody.
I try and play Squash regularly and realize what age does to instincts. It’s quite tough to play that hard and fast. Playing the coach is sure fun. He does play a power game and tries to ensure that the game is good fun for both. I am sure he can finish the game in 20 seconds. But three games with him last half an hour at the minimum. The third game is sheer murder for me. He does play a single power shot but just keeps the ball in play and places it across the court. Woa! Its complete murder running cross court.
Yesterday he was not in and I tried playing and practicing on my own for some time till two gentlemen came in. One fat guy and the other an old man. I find it extremely annoying to see in that matunga gym has very few patrons who actually smile. I mean the guys there are playing sports for god sake. Smile, acknowledge the people, the competitor, have fun. I think they see any one as one more guy trying to use up the limited resources. It’s such a fucking pain. But hell, I think that’s the psychographic profile of the guys who go to gymkhanas. I have become big, I am a rich and I have a club membership. This Sunday there is the inter department cricket tournament and I am playing cricket for the squash team. Lets see how people compete and how they make friends.
But coming back to the point, the fat man and the other man wait outside. I call them in for the game. They obviously want to play only with each other, but since I am in they have to play two matches with me before they shoo me off. They cant move for shit, but hit the ball very hard and very fast. Only fore hand no back hand. The serves are so fast I can’t see them. I now realize that I have a long way to go. A really looooong way to go before I see the ball. The coach has been feeding me soft balls. Hehehehehhehe. He is just giving me a workout I guess. But I am much better than I was before and I am definitely going to get there. God and knee willing! Amen.

vacations

Just back from a fantastical vacation of Jodhpur and Jaislamer. A lovely magical place and truly the best part of Rajasthan. The lonely planet has been a valuable guide for us wherever we go. It has helped me in every country and city that I have been as a tourist. Even here it told of the bets place to visit and eat. I fell that the lonely planet must be given the Nobel peace prize for ensuring peace and sanity for tourists while traveling. I wonder why Indians don’t read so much and carry enough material while traveling. I think we just bloody want to leave the trip to the holiday tour organizers whose headache it is to figure the entire thing. And of course ensure that you get good gujju fried food everywhere.
Jaisalmer is one place where I got to eat the most amazing authentic pizzas and some delicious soup. I will remember Jaisalmer and Leh as the two places to go and eat pizzas!

Vacationing with Jispa is quite fun. She is quite a decent traveler and is a generally happy kid. She plays on her own a lot is quite content to be fooling around with her activity books, colors and a white piece of paper. But she also gets to you when she wants you to play. We put her to sleep in the middle bunker and I sleep on the top one. Early morning she woke up and climbed onto my bunker and whacked me on my bum. ‘Wake Up Papa’. Huh!. ‘I got up and I saw its morning so I got up’ ya, its morning alright. Go to sleep. ‘nooooo’. Bloody hell. No one wakes up at 7 in the morning in a train, man. But all said and done train journeys are brilliant with family. Though I sometimes miss the travel in normal sleeper that we did as kids. Now it’s a minimum of three tier A/C. it’s easier to travel without carrying all the bedding. Also the normal sleepers have become really really dirty dusty and ugly. I guess in a trade up mode economy, the people have to seemed to have all moved up but the sanitation seems to have remained bad. I don’t mind traveling with friends in a rag tag sleeper but with family it’s a nice stress free environment that one prefers. Also as one travels northward the trains get dirtier and the crowd quite sad. Lets see how the train journeys to down south might be?

When one goes visiting historical places one realizes the value of reading the Amar Chitra Katha’s when pone was young. Thanks to those I still remember and recollect a lot of the stories that I read. It’s an invaluable learning experience. I have to go and get all the possible ACK’s that were ever printed. Let me try and see how I get my hinds on the entire collection. I have already bought the entire ACK’s Mahabharata. Forget Jispa, I will enjoy reading them all over again.

your momma always told you to cover your books with brown paper - now you know why

Reading a book is not so easy anymore. I just finished reading ‘The Islamist’ by Ed Hussein. While going to play squash I get off at Matunga station. The only way to get off that train is to stand by the doorway from the first itself. I read till Parel and then it’s impossible to read thanks to the crowd. I just stuff the book into my waist and wait two stops till Matunga.
One day a guy saw the cover and asked me about Ed Hussein. I told him it’s the author of the book. He then asked me my name. Now any one in Mumbai knows that some one asking you your name in a conversation is mostly trying to get your religion. He then asked if I was Hindu. How do I tell him that I am a Pantheist, but whatever, ok. so, carry on… I ask him his name. ‘Mohammad’. He then asks what the book is about – he reads the words ‘The Islamist’. He can read English but I am not sure if he can understand the spoken word. So I try to explain the premise of the book. I explain in Hindi that author is a religious person in England who was an Islamist but then went back to practicing Islam without being an Islamist. Or whatever. It was difficult to explain in Hindi. He then asked me if the name of the prophet is in the book. I am like ‘ya, I think so’. This getting potentially dangerous. He then tells me that, if so, I must not carry the book like that. Oops. I take it out. Hold it respectfully. I tell him thank you. It’s good that you tell me. We do not understand. We are only trying to understand. He gives me advice like – nothing will come off by standing in front of a stone and praying. I say yup, thank you thank you. We learn by listening to others. Reading is not enough. Thank you. Station arrives, I get off. Bye. Whew. That was close.
Ed if you are reading this – what on earth was that?
On the book. I loved it. It began ok, I lost it in the middle, but it ended powerful. Left an impact in my mind. I understood much more, I know much more now. Good, recommended read. Read it, but be careful in the local trains.

pain and the great escape

I never imagined that I would be typing so much in my life. I thought I would be doomed to live my life with my ugly handwriting and would have difficulty progressing in life. Well life sure has changed. I write a lot but I hardly life a pen! Qwerty is so much a part of my life! My thumb is injured. I have no clue how or when but the nail seems to be affected and its quite painful. I can barely hold the pen and write well but it has not affected my work majorly. Just an odd angle in which the thumb presses the space bar.

Yesterday I missed getting caught by the skin of my teeth. These days I have been going to play squash. For that I have to get to Matunga station. That’s not on my normal line and therefore I require tickets. I have bought the tickets before hand and I have to punch in the valid fares before getting on. For some reason I though the amount was 4 bucks and I have been punching the same for a few days. Yesterday the TC caught me and pointed out that the fare is 6 bucks. It 4 bucks to Dadar and Matunga is one station further. Ok. “You have to pay the fine”; oh come on “an honest mistake by and honest citizen” its not as if I am trying to dodge fare. Nothing doing, he marches me to the office to get me to pay the differential. Then suddenly lightning strikes, “what’s the fare from Masjid” Four, he says. Great. Then here is my pass that goes from VT to Vadala. This includes the common journey from VT to Masjid. So the ticket I punched becomes a journey extension ticket from Masjid to Matunga, which is 4 bucks so I am home and dry. Wah wah.. I was impressed by myself. He took a little while to digest it. He didn’t like but, the law is on my side. “be careful next time’ he says. ‘Thank you Bye Bye’, you dickhead I think in my mind.

Adventures of Chakram

While Jispa was getting to draw on the wall I was feeling left out I think. So I started painting the adventures of Chakram. Have a look:-

Jispa really found this one funny:-


The wordings go something like this:-

Chakram:-
I am never afraid
I run fast
I jump high
I am strong
I fight hard

Big bully:- FIGHT

Chakram:- Good that I run fast

The second one has the wordings quite legible in the photograph. This one was insipred by Jispa talking about her school students.

enriched by talking

How does a multi billionaire get to his hotel after exiting Heathrow airport? Well, like all of us he stands in a line and takes a black cab.

I have been intending to write this piece for quite some time now. I have been a big fan of our vice chairman and promoter. I think he is a very level headed sweet guy. The reason I don’t write his name is thanks to the billion guys in office who must be putting blog alerts on his name. But it’s a simple one – he owns the place I work. So here’s the piece.

I am getting off at Heathrow and am standing in the immigration line. He walks up behind. A couple of guys between us. I say hi and walk up to him. We know each other well. We generally start off talking. We both are having a relaxed conversation. Its obviously not a formal ‘in office’ conversation but a relaxed, waiting in the queue conversation. Always better this way. We generally chat up about work. My thing is that I can’t just give out blatant lies. He asks me how am I doing and am I enjoying and so on. I told him, that our company sucks at marketing and its quite a pain to be in marketing while we fight for our understanding and respectability all the time. But the reason I am working with him is that I love the company. I love the way we work. No stress, zero politics, cool happy working environment and a lot of freedom to do what you want to. He asked about my back ground. I told him about the zillion jobs that I have changed. We were talking about how my kids fight out with sales all the time and the frustration that they encounter. That time he said “Jaimit, tane khabhar che. Te ghat ghat nu pani pidhu che ekle”. That felt nice. All that job hopping viewed in a positive light. But it truly is a positive thingie. Not that I advise it too much for others though.
While we were talking I generally asked him where he was staying and how far was it from my hotel. He said “should be around 5 minutes, why?” Now this thing had been on my mind for some time now. I was told that a cab would cost 60 pounds from the airport that 4800 rupees. That’s way too much to pay even if it was company expense. So I told him as much and told him I was hoping for a ride with him and it could save us some money. In hindsight I some times think that I actually spoke about saving 60 pounds to a guy worth 5 billion dollars at last count. Well… he kinda liked the idea and gave me a lift. We wondered if it made sense to get dropped off at his hotel and take a cab, when I figured that it was best (economically) for me to drop him off and take the cab further to my hotel. We hailed a cab accordingly.

It’s around less than an hour to the city centre. It was one of the best conversations I have ever had, we spoke about work, vision, marketing (we both abhor mass media). When he realized that I was in London for the first time, he took on the role of a guide talking me about the various places on the way and the fun that I should have on the weekend that I was there. He asked me if I had enough money, I kind of vaguely said ‘just enough’. I normally carry less exchange but use the debit / credit cards often enough. He removed his wallet and handed me all the pounds he had in there. There were only about 20. Rest he was carrying euros. “rakh, kaam aavse” I did not know what to tell him. what do you do when your uncle gives you cash? Meekly take it. Mid way into another conversation in the cab he suddenly remembers something and opens his briefcase. He removes a cover and there sure enough – more pounds. He gives me 40 more and says “well, that takes care of you cab at least”. I was like ya, but I have some….. “rakh rakh, kaam aavse”. He insisted that I take something from London for my wife since it’s my first time there. There were so many things we spoke about (kids, parents, growing up, politics etc) but the undercurrent was clear – I was having a conversation with my uncle not my boss. An uncle who is not your dad’s age but more like the uncles that are the youngest in the family and therefore much more clued onto your lives. Dam cool. This will stay with me for a long long time.

I always admired the guy, but now I love him. I hope it remains that way. Amen.

Here is a photo I once took of him. I like it. It’s not your standard boring portrait.

Give me logic, take away the rest

You normally don’t pangas with Jispa. She has a memory of an elephant. She remembers stuff from two years back. Well she is growing, and with my patience to keep arguing till logic prevails and memory to back it, she is quite the potent combination that can drive the non logic fighters away.
While I was in Igatpuri with my sister, my sis was talking about my legendary ability to argue with parents. Actually I remember it very clearly. I would only argue if I did not see logic for doing something or being told about something. If I knew I was wrong, my arguments would not be long (nor not even argue), but you can’t give me bullshit explanations and get away with it. Give me logic and I will listen. Also be consistent with logic. The logic can’t keep changing with the tasks and at your whims and fancies. So it was not like I was arguing, it was simply your logic which went awry.
Jispa is like that. Give her proper logical answers. Keep logic consistent and for heaven sake don’t patronize. She has a mind, respect it. That’s what I try to do most of the time. She absorbs much better than we expect her to.
Today morning, she generally asked what the date was. My watch said 3rd, and jasmine also thought it was the 3rd. Jispa disagreed and said 4th. I said ‘no it’s the 3rd’ she stuck to her 4th. Jasmine said “we believe it’s the 3rd, if you want you belive it’s the 4th”. I have over the last 5 years learnt not to take a conversation with Jispa lightly, especially when she sticks to her point of view. So I said “hang on. Let me check my cell phone.” Sure enough. It was the 4th. “Yup Jispa, you are right. It is the 4th”
The other day we got a letter from her school inviting us for school annual function. I was teasing her that the letter said ‘don’t come, Jispa has been a naughty girl’. She came back from school and told me that she asked her teacher about the letter and her teacher said that “ the letter said that Jispa is a star kid so come to see the concert”. Hmmm. She remembers, clarifies and then confronts. Hehehehehe. It was quite funny.
I lose and this is not the going to be the last time.

zen in squash and conversation

Well the first day of squash was fun. I love the way different games have wildly different techniques. I kept slicing the racket on top of the ball and ball kept hitting low. It was fun. I think after my first bits of knocking the ball around, I got a sense of how the ball moves. It was also a little funny trying not to be too wristy which is a fantastic thing in cricket and I love using it there. Backhand was even tougher. I can’t believe I missed the ball completely at times. Just an air swing. Oh god that was bad. Was someone watching? Well there was a pro sitting behind me. I just looked and smiled at him and he smiled back. Then I realized that one has to time the ball. I remembered my cricket and also the one time I learnt golf. Its timing the ball. So I just waited as the ball bounced and that split second where I could see it stationery and thapack…. Now that’s nice. Good shot. At least it went forward. Now as I write I remember the amazing book (May all time favorite), Zen in the art of Archery. I remember portions of it and it has helped me in cricket. I was applying similar principals yesterday as well without realizing. Hmm interesting how it has become a part of my consciousness. Now to reread the same after a bit of practice. But I just love that book. It is absolutely amazing.

Another thing I realized yesterday. I was meeting an old friend of mine. She used to work for me long time back but now she is working elsewhere. She has a very high EQ and is a sharp chick (now lady). We talk les often but when we do, it rarely small talk. Its about life, about other stuff. I realized one thing is that I am supremely bored by small talk. Ya, I seem to be having fun at parties cracking really stupid PJ’s but I hate getting into small, random talk which leads nowhere. I hate getting drawn into those conversations. Man now I know why I hate parties, marriages and the types. They are soo bloody boring. I hate it. If we must talk it should either be complete fun or oscillate to the other side. These in betweens are so fucking boring.

Eeeps. I have to control abuse in office. I don’t like it. Will try to get it off my vocab. Am trying!

Random:- picture of breakfast at my hotel in Geneva. Full style! Muesli, berries and bread with 'designer butter'

all fun zone - sports, pets and books

Sometimes I wonder how my blogs have lost a bit of their ‘zing’. Work pressure is so much at times. I had promised that I would start some activity. Well I started. I bought squash court shoes. Hope to start playing today evening. I kinda look forward to the game. This was something I wanted to do since childhood. Good exciting stuff. Hope my knee holds on and does not give way. I will be soo devastated not to play. I have spoken to the coach and he has asked to me to come in the evening, when there is some free time on the court. I have always believed that one has to play some game or the other. One can always learn from multiple games. Learning a game is important and learning it well is even more so. I hope the coach is a decent good guy who might be able to correct techniques before they get bad, unlike my cricket, which I think is impossible to really correct. This also reminds me that I must try and see if there are cricket nets in the morning on Saturday / Sundays. That should be good fun as well. What can a coach do to a 32 year old trying to learn to play better? Lets see. I am on a fitness spree… atleats thought wise. The actions should follow through boss.


My brother and his wife adopted a pup – Angel. She is dam sweet. I spent all evening playing with her yesterday. She is so amazing, so full of play. She is like a new kid in the family. My brother is acting like a dad. It’s fun to look at him. I am waiting for Angel to grow up and take her running in the park. As for yesterday, I think she played so much with me that she fell asleep while we were there it self. Thak gayi bechari khel khel ke. Pets are fun, especially if they are someone else’s. Just like kids!

For the record the book ‘understanding comics’ is easily amongst the top 10 books in my collection. Scott – you are good. Thank you. I am supremely enriched.
Now onto more such ‘serious’ comics. I am reading The Persepolis 1 and 2 by Marjane Satrapi. This kinda completes the triology. The first was the eight part series Buddha by Osamu Tezuka, the second was the two part Maus by Art Spiegleman. Understanding Comics then becomes a prequel kind of book to this trilogy consisting of 12 books.

book woe

Sometimes one gets stuck with boring books and sometimes one has unputdownabes. Normally I don’t buy books if I have a backlog to finish. Last few weeks I was not buying any. As I came to the end of the backlog, all forces converged. The books I had ordered were suddenly in stock, I saw a couple of fantastic books at Hong Kong airport, I ordered one from somewhere and voila, what have you – a backlog. Two books I am reading currently are quite interesting. Together they are causing me enough stress. I want to read and finish them both. One is “the design of everyday things” and the other is “Understanding Comics”. Both require concentrated reading to fully appreciate and understand. To top it up there is osme real shortage of time and mental energy. I have been sleeping 5-6 hour nights since last Wednesday. Today I just completely collapsed in the train and did not know when the station came. I am soo sleepy. Hopefully I should catch up on sleep today. So I have lots of books and no sleep. A few more books that I am looking forward to are coming in the post today. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… bachao!

priorities

Sometimes I cant write because there are so many things to write about. I am just back in from Hong Kong. Nice place. Will take Jispa and jasmine there. Hopefully next year…

But one thing is for sure, I am really done with traveling. I have just made up my mind that I will avoid all travel tats on Saturday or Sunday. Sunday specially. I think I deserve a better deal; my family deserves a better deal. My next Hong Kong trip is cut short so that I come back on a Saturday. Then another temptation came up. This time it was Saturday, Sunday and Monday in Seoul. Now Seoul is a place that I am most likely not to see on my own and it would have been lovely to go there. I almost gave in and thought about it. But then it’s a no. I think I value the time that I spend with Jispa and Jasmine much more. I think I will just go swimming with Jispa instead.

Yup… that’s right. Also I now plan to join some classes. I have to learn tennis or squash. Clear priority for me this year! Also adjacent priority – start cardio exercises in the gym. I have to get much better at fitness. HAVE TO.

the jungle calling

I have returned from an interesting vacation. We went to Ranthambore and Bharatpur. The verdict – Ratham Bore, but Bharatpur is amazing. The stupid Tiger safari is one of the most boringthings that you could do in Rathambore. They load you on canters and take you on an bumpy dusty dirt track in an effort to see the tiger. The tiger is obviously in no mood to oblige every tourist that visits the park. The idiots at the park have all wrong. When the odds of the tiger are so clearly stacked against you its obviouslya better option to build the story ofteh jungle by itself. There a billions things you can say about the spotted deer, the sambars, the birds, the crocs and even the bloody monkeys. The guide has to educate, talk, weave a story, explain the jungle, but I don’t think anyone is listening. Just drive like a maniac and show the tiger. Ya sure, but where is he? She? Whatever?
There we stayed at this place called the Tiger Moon Resort. The idiots at the Mumbai booking office somehow just screwed up and gave us canter safaris instead of the jeep safaris. In spite of booking the stay with them weeks before the safari bookings opened. But the resort was redeemed by the amazingly polite and caring staff, their interested naturalist and their clean functional rooms with lovely hot water. The naturalist took some time aside to give Jispa lessons on wildlife, which we recorded on tape. His assistant took us to the fort and a nature walk and we really enjoyed the bird life. Jasmine as it turns out is quite a bird enthusiast. A book on birds in India (I bought years ago for Jispa) and a pair of binocs and she was having a world warp of her own. Most of my trip I think I enjoyed thanks to her enthusiasm. Jispa is as enthused about a earthworm as she is enthused about a tiger, or even the Taj. She merely reflects your enthusiasm. She is game for almost anything. This set up the next halt of the Bharatpur bird park quite nicely. Here we really enjoyed the place. I would recommend it as a must visit for any one. The rains have not been good and the bird life it seems is severly reduced but it was still way beyond what one could imagine. A guide is a must take. Without him you can notice 90% of the birds and he help you identify them. The rickshawwala claims to bw enough but don’t let that fool you. We tried both, the guide wins hands up. We took cycles and drove Jispa double seat for the whole day. A full seven hours. By the end of the trip we were naming the birds ourselves. Jispa could name a few herself. I am going there again. For sure! There we stayed at the Birder’s Inn. Nice clean place. Value for money. But only annoying tendency is to lay out a compulsory buffet (outrageously priced at 250 a head) when he has multiple groups. Really irritating especially if you are a vegetarian. But hell. Still a nice clean place. After a few years of five star corporate travel my wife chides me for being too soft for the rigors of backpacking. Well, I redeemed myself! My point all along has been clear. I want clean rooms, clean toilets, clean sheets and a responsive staff. That’s all! As for the Taj Mahal that we went visting. All I can say that somehow its beauty has grown on me a bit. I am seeing it for the third time. It’s a tad overrated. I think the Abu Delwara na deras might be much better. But hell it more amazing to see the tons and tons of tourists at the Taj! Wow, I have seen so many tourists anywhere.
All in all. Full time pass and paisa vasool vacation. Jispa has been a cute fun loving and an obedient kid. She is amazing in her ability to mimic your enthusiasm or lack of it as well. I think she just likes to stay together. The touring, the seeing is just incidental.

we the holocaust

Reading two distinctly separate mediums , talking about two separate incidents but having a common line can be quite disconcerting. Whatever. basically I was reading the fantastically crafted book (in a comic format) ‘Maus’ about the Jewish holocaust and at the same time was reading the expose by the magazine Tehelka on the Gujarat Riots. I am not here making judgments. I am sure whatever the consequence the cause is always strong in the persons mind, but some how it is unnerving that man can foster so much hatred. Tejpal is right in comparing both of them. Reading both is so weird. We have not learnt, we will continue to kill, we will continue to live selfishly, we will continue to believe in powers of above, we will continue to forget love. We will hate in the name of love. Wow.

But Jispa, read them together. Read them.

tehelka link - http://www.tehelka.com/story_main35.asp?filename=Ne031107Tarunspiece.asp

Maus - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maus

random frustrations :)

The biggest curse in corporate world is to do well. The First KRAISE and then the quarterlies did well. I wrote some edgy stuff. Got reactions, Both sides. This time too many got involved into the act. I have been briefed by too many people. Result highly sanitized stuff. I told my Exec Director, that I just got a bottle of Dettol poured over my bloody head. Result is that I am so damn frustrated with that little thing that I want to give it up. As it is I was doing it out of pure charity. I don’t get salary or promotion for it. Fuck it man. Just fuck it. I just get some free joy by putting in some sublimals that no one except me understands! They range from double meanings to kicking someone’s butt. But then life is nothing but small bits of get backs!!!



One of the main reasons I like my job is that I don’t get too much supervision. People let me be as I am. They don’t get too much in my lives. I deliver. Period. its an amazing arrangement. Simple. I hope to someday lead like that. But I believe the team needs ot grow up for that. You have to earn freedom. Once you deliver without issues and make a habit out of it then you get eth freedom, till then you have to be used to supervision.

My advice to all wannabe media career people. The place is full of shit. I have met only pathological liars, bastards, turncoats and the rest. Hardly a good man /woman exists. Corporate fuckese at its best.

cricket weekend

That’s not supposed to happen. It’s a 5 step run up. I am supposed to whack the shit out of your short of good length balls by going through the line. But instead the balls comes close to my chest and I almost glove it to the wicket keeper. Whew! Welcome to where the bug boys play. Yesterday was an 8 a side tournament which I was leading one of the two Kotak teams. We got through to the semis with a decent show. Normally the banks send their sales guys for the matches but some banks decide to only send their professional team. Sure even I could send my A team, but then the whole idea was to play and have fun with the amateurs. The team in the semis was the pro team. All the guys have played some district level or some probables for some state / zone.
The guy bowling of 5 paces generated pace and bounce that screwed the shit out of me. Luckily I have always kept my eyes on the ball and I don’t try playing shots I can’t, to a really fast bowler, for example the hook / pull. Partly because I am not stupid to attempt it and partly I can’t get into position fast enough. You have to be really quick on your feet to do it. I have limited ability and I learnt the game only after I was 25, that too as an amateur with no formal coaching. These guys have been getting coached since they were babies. I have survived through sheer determination, willingness to learn, keeping ears and eyes open and of course keeping the eye on the ball.
I was doing pretty good till the semis, smashing other part time bowlers all around the park and getting some phenomenal averages. This game I was happy to just stay there getting off the strike. My opening partner, subbu, was a pro player and he was doing all the batting. There, one run, its your strike now. Later on, I thought of accelerating and hitting a few more. I quickly conferred with Subbu and figured that lets not. The other guys to follow will get hit and hurt. Its better that we stick in there. I got one ball pitched outside off. I slashed at it opening the face of my bat. Whack in the middle of the bat, with the sweet smell of leather and I watched in amazement the ball traveling high and far, going going going….. into the light towers and a little above and falling out of the ground into the train tracks adjoining. Wow, that’s the biggest six I have hit square of the wicket. Massive by any standards, any ground. While I like to take credit for that shot, I can only take credit for connecting, the pace at which it was bowled was the reason it went that far. My power shots aren’t that powerful. Now I know how the players at world level might be playing. It is extremely fast and powerful. How they get into position early, how can they judge the length so early, how do they do that.

I got a chance to watch these masters play at the Braborne Stadium watching an India Australia T20 match. I had tickets for Jispa and Jasmine. But Jispa didn’t want to come. The five year old decided that the match would be too loud and also the fact that her friend had invited her to her house. The last match I saw was in the 10k rupee stand and it was bloody boring, so this time I was in the 500 buck stand. That was fun! No seats only standing and fairly engaging three hours fast paced action. Really fast. Death to one day cricket. No more full day waste of time. But it was good that Jispa did not come. You don’t get water inside the stadium. You will get coke and the rest, but no water. Yup, no tap, no bottle no glass. Of course you aren’t supposed to get anything inside the stadium as well from outside. Really irritating thing. We need to take our spectators more seriously. You have give much more value or people will vote with their feet.

So that was that. A fairly engaging weekend. Overworked and under slept, but hell, you are 32 only once in your life

Fortune favors the Brave

well well well, I am on the cover of the Fortune magazine. What more can I say - a picture speaks a thousand words.

But 90% of those seeing this feel that it is a computer job. There is no sanctity to digital images these days. People only belive what they can touch and feel. Interesting insight for the future.

office space

I can get really weird. My office kids get the brunt of it at times.
The seat behind mine has been empty for sometime. My boys use this seat to dump and store stuff. I hate it. If you can’t have clean offices spaces then there are issues. If you are unable to order in advance and figure out where to store stuff then there are issues. If you are ordering entire India figures then you must courier the stuff from the printer office itself to all India. What’s the bloody point of storing the stuff in office? The space behind mine just got allotted a few days back to a new joinee. Today morning I come in to see 15 – 20 boxes of folders completely jamming his desk space. He has been on training last few days and therefore the desk has been a empty. But that still does not give the guys any right to jam anybody’s space. A new guy is more sensitive to all these cues as compared to anyone else. So I did the next best thing. I took these boxes and jammed their desks. Have fun. It helps to some in early in the morning. How does it feel to get a dose of their own medicine? Take that!

Here is the picture of their desks jammed. The two desks jammed are the culprits of the crime.

Hey I never did tell you how my first fast went off. One full day of not eating. It was fun to start with. Difficult to keep away from popping random things into your mouth. I had tons of water whenever I was hungry but it was fun. The night dinner was surely the toughest to avoid. It is soo easy for the mind to tell you that – eat, it does not matter, it’s not religious, it does not matter. And it was fun fighting it off and saying I don’t care. I am not eating. Sleep came nice and fast so it was helpful. But it was fun. Who knows, next time I will attempt two days perhaps? Worth a shot! You could write tomes on hunger but it has to be felt the hard way to really feel it! I loved it. I am richer for the experience.

I had booked online with rajasthan tourism. It was a please to book online. I cancelled the reservation. It was even faster. Now to see if the monies get deposited in the bank account as fast. Will keep you posted.

one large leap

“Ritu and I both will be 15 min late. My chappal fell off d train n she is coming to station with a spare pair 4 me :(” – this is the SMS I received from one of my reportees. Fact is sometimes stranger than fiction.

Life comes a full circle. Sonal used to stay at Bandra all her life. Her dad retired and moved to Kandivili from where she jostles and fights her way to office. I had another girl once who stayed at Marine drive and came to work at Nariman point. Just 5 minutes by road. She got married and moved to Jogeshwari. That’s one and a half hour to work everyday. I had asked to look for the tabelas (hindi for cow sheds). She just nodded thinking this was us pulling her leg. She called up soon after in all excitement saying that she saw the tabelas. Well I told you they were there!

This is but a small example of how women get displaced by marriage and is such a big radical step for them. I am not so sure it’s that big a step for the guy. Best of luck to all the girls!

philosophy has its uses

Five years back when Jispa was born, a friend of mine (Ashutosh) remarked that “the birth of the child is the death of the father” apparently quoted by the great poet Kabir. The statement has great significance. As he explained to me, that once the child is born, the father will do anything to save the child from harm. If it means putting his life for the child he will do so without hesitation. So in a matter of speaking the father’s life is not his own, he has already given it to / up for the child, so in other words he is already dead. Now that’s an interesting thought.
We were holidaying in matheran the other day. I got some hot soup for Jispa. I then got a two litre mineral water bottle and placed it on the table and turned. As I turned I heard a commotion and I turned back to see the bottle toppling over and hitting the soup bowl. Normally one sees this in slow motion. Not this time though. I saw this in super warp speed. The bottle hit the soup bowl and the soup tippled over and was falling on Jispa. My only reaction was to extend my palms as wide as possible in between Jispa and the soup bowl so that the impact of the hot soup was maximum on my hand and minimum on Jispa. Successful - Jispa only got a drop on her pants and I bore the brunt. I jumped around a bit and luckily it did not burn me much. But I realized what I did and what Kabir meant.


The other day the stupid IT guy in the office (they all are) decided to break a hole in my table and put the printer plug point inside my cupboard. This incensed me to a great extent. I tried reasoning with him but he just would not understand. The next day I realized the business at risk issue and wrote a mail. Result – the plug was dutifully removed within 24 hours. Here’s the mail. You decide.
The cast though – Nagraj – the IT guy, Shama – the admin, Vareena – the HR.
My next fight – get that bloody hole repaired.


SUB: Business At Risk

In my cupboard where I keep my books and papers we suddenly have an electric point!

Where there is an electric point, there you will have sparks (invariably). Even Jispa knows that. (if you don’t know who Jispa is, I don’t know you). When spark touches paper, it burns. Remember your 6th standard science class. When paper burns, more paper next to it burns. This leads to a chain reaction where the entire desk catches fire. Desks are predominately wood and what have you here? A catastrophe waiting to happen. Nero fiddled while Bakhtawar burned. Who is Nero? I dunno, ask him. Who him? Ask Nero for all I care. So it might be the boy who cried wolf, but who knows; if it looks like a wolf, feels like a wolf, behaves like a wolf, it is not likely to be a kangaroo. Jispa knows that as well. (what? you still don’t know who is Jispa? get outta here)

So kindly remove the point from there (the electric point, got the point?) and please can I have my desk back. Its missing me and the feeling is mutual.

How did this get about:-

I ask Nagraj, Nagraj tells me that he tell Shama, Shama obviously does it because Nagraj told her. Who gave Nagraj authority, well he spoke to Vareena. Why did Vareena say yes, well because Nagraj told her. Why did Nagraj get it done, beacuase Vareena and Shama said so. In excel parlance this is called circular reference. So where does the buck stop. You silly goose, the buck cannot stop – it’s a circle and it’s twisted, so that makes it’s a mobius strip. A mobius strip has no start no end, its just keeps going around. So much so that some scientists have hypothesized that if it does not start or end it does not exist. It is not even there.

A mathematician confided
That a Möbius band is one-sided,
And you'll get quite a laugh,
If you cut one in half,
For it stays in one piece when divided

So who has the hole in the end:- my desk. I am not sure about anyone’s mind yet. Hope this burned a hole in your mind as well.

While at the topic – does putting a hole in my desk require my permission? Oh ya – the circle has decided on its own I guess (the circular reference circle). It’s like a snow ball and it’s got sufficient momentum on its side. So, GET OUT OF THE WAY! But while putting the hole in, musn’t you remove my stuff so that it does not get dirty? GET OUT OF THE WAAAY, SNOW BALL IS SNOWBALLING. But….AVALANCE..tttttt.

I have just been exterminated. Exterminated employees need not feel anything. Especially motivation, desire to call the place your own, belonging, clean perhaps. Anything. Just work. But I have just been exterminated – so what? Those exterminated are transported to the netherworld – where you just work. Well at least you don’t burn here. Well the place night burn down, but you might as well might be saved. Should I feel grateful. I should.

Thank you

Yours truly

Do I need to add my name? is the email id enough? Sombody answer, someone pull me out, someone show me a sign that I am alive. Someoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…………………………….aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

service and smile

I like, no no lets rephrase that, I love… that’s better… I love low points in life. That is what defines my high points. Whenever I have felt low is when I fight back to get my high. Till about a minute back I was low. Shit in office, shit everywhere. That has helped me define my high. I am suddenly on an adrenaline rush. I am giving shit back. And how! I could not have felt better. In the words of the Mask – Somebody….stop me.

I am just back from a trip to Geneva, Brussels, Antwerp and London. All official. Yaya… I am the lucky guy. One thing I figures. British Airways (BA) is a piece of shit. The brits have not learnt anything about service. They cant service to save their asses. I have always believed that good advertising will come to naught if you don’t follow through on the service. This is a classic case study. BA will have all the classic ads that have service written all over it. They believe in service they say. They will have a chick air hostess in a namaste. The stupid agency wont even get the bow right. The namaste in India is not like a western ‘hi, how are you doing?’ it’s a more submissive gesture (full of reverence) for Indian. Complete dickhead of a job and some amazing dickhead of follow through. For breakfast as we were reaching London, they served us milk and muesli. And I liked it and dared to ask for more. MORE?? Now I know what Oliver Twist felt like. They said they don’t have more. What the hell? They don’t have more food for someone traveling in Business Class. God knows what happens in Economy. Do they just stand up and start laughing. “hey somebody look at this guy. He wants MORE. Hahahahah.” On the way back I wanted to go to the pee pee. The seat belt sign just came on as I stood up. The steward told me to get back to my seat. Not do politely of course, but hell he is a BA staff. He is obviously near God. Then in about 10 seconds he tells me that if I want to go to the bath room I got one minute. That’s about the time he is going to take. So I better hurry up and get it done with. OK sir! Thanks a lot. Wow….that sure saved from pissing in their Business class water bottle. What a bloody piss off. I am not traveling BA again ever. I would not advise anyone either. The option – the best service I have seen is Jet Airways. Good old humble service Jet. They are way above every one. Not that BA is too difficult to top. I have asked for more in domestic flights in economy and have always got more in return. Ask for one small after mint and you always get two. Aks for a bottle of water, you will get two. That’s the way dude. Service is king! Someday the rest of us mortals will get it as well. I also have been in many hotels, no one even comes close to the Taj hotels. We do a lot of stay and banqueting. The Taj is head over heels compared to anyone else. Well its interesting that home grown Indian brands will teach eth world what service is like. Mr. Goyal, I don’t care what anyone says. I believe in you.

Coming to something else. People in office around the world are generally short on humor. I put an out of office mail that I thought was very average and not really funny. But I got a lot of kudos for it. I got people forwarding the out of office mail to others, I got people just mailing to check the response, and of course a few conversations begin with the topic. Here it is. You judge you decide. But one thing it has given me for sure, and that’s some more confidence to get whackier! Somebody Stop me.

(I have masked the phone numbers. This is the internet after all)

Hi,

Since you have got an out of office reply – well, I AM actually out of office. Cool nah?
I will be back on the 27th of September 07.

Since this is a tour on official duty you may contact me on my official cell. But before you do so, kindly keep in mind the following pointers:-

Think of the obscene roaming rates before you try my cell.
If you still want try and contact me please buy some telecommunication stocks before you call. Somebody must benefit in the bargain I guess.
Before calling minus four to five hours from Indian time and think a bit if you really want to wake me up for I can return the favor five hours past your bed time.
Try calling Ritu (XXXXXXXXX) for international work, Venkat (981XXXXXXX) for Wealth Management work and Manish (981XXXXXXX) for all the other group work.
And if everything else fails, have faith… for this too shall pass.

Have fun while I am hard at work

Jaimit

thats a fast one

We are jains but I am a little bit of a radical. Yah sure I believ in god and some super human power but going to temples for prayer is not my scene. The mega jain festival – paryushan is on. The seven days of fasting and I assume austerity is on. But there is nothing austere about it. It’s as in your face richness and silkiness (paradoxically for Jainism) as any other hindu festival. The temple is decorated with lights and pandals. Women and men roam around in their finest marriage finery with goady jewelry. People moving form one temple to another, form one golden idol to another. The orgy of flowers decorating is so sickening. The power of context is at its bets here. I would loved ot see flower décor but to see it in all splendor at a Jain temple is somewhat a bad idea. We gloss over the very principles we are celebrating. I even remember having a fight with my mom for letting me and Jasmine watch a movie during this stupid carnage festival. She said that its not right and you must not go, and for the hell of me I could not figure out why? I love Jainism but I hate the Jains!

I normally won’t even know when the festival is approaching. Tomorrow is the last day and if somebody would have told me that I would be fasting, I would laughed my head off. But wonders never cease. I for some whacked off reason have decided to fast today. I don’t know why the thought popped into my head but no food today only water. There is definitely no religious belief – DEFINITELY NOT, but I wanted to know what it is to fast for a day. How does the body react, how does one feel, what is the meaning of craving. One can read tomes on hunger but one has to feel it to understand it. I remember I used to try and do some fasting as a kid. I remember giving it up at night and having food. How would I feel today? It’s a normal day as ever. I accidentally popped a small ginger chip in today, so I have definitely missed the religious angle. I have always believed on learning something new regularly, doing something new, something else. This defines us and shapes us as we go along. One more learning, one more step. Right now it’s fun to feel the stomach grumbling, making weird noises, asking for food. Good cleansing for the system. A bit of detoxification never hurt too many.

hush my boy, the puppies are shrinking

Does your foot actually shrink after a certain age... after lets say 32 years! Well that’s what happened to me, if hush puppies are to be believed. I have been wearing large sizes. Sport shoes typically are at ten and half, even 11. Most formal shoes are at 10. My last hush puppies were 10. So this time I walk into the store and ask for 10 in a particular type. I want the simplest one with no extravagant designs. He gives me a size 10. hmmm feels very roomy. My toe ends way before the shoe ends. Haan sir, is mein ek size chota hi chalta hai. Ok. Give me a size 9. whoops.. a little roomy again. Errrr… size 8, I ask sheepishly, a little hesitant. He checks for my foot size on his measuring scale – it shows a ten. He gets a size eight nevertheless. Size eight I keep thinking. The last time I wore 8 was probably when I was 13 – 14 years old. Size eight is just a little narrow, but marginally so. Funny. This is ridiculous. I wear 10 in hush puppies! I can’t believe it. I try all the other types, I ask for all the different sizes in the others. I cant just wear these new Italian styled narrow pointed ones. My feet are way too broad for that. I probably need to wear size 15 in those and end up looking like Ian Thorpe (the Australian swimmer, duh). While I am trying out all the others, I look at the poor size 8 hush puppies and decide to try them again. My wife is not a bit fazed. She had budgeted a good one hour as she knew I have to buy shoes. She has been through many of my show buying sojourns. I could buy a shirt and a tie and a suit fast but shoes take forever. Sport shoes, formal shoes, simple sandals, they all take a looong time to buy. I guess it’s my foot contours that make the entire thing difficult. They are definitely not the average Joe ratios for sure. So I pick up the size 8 and they seem definitely more comfortable than the others. Oh what the hell, let buy them. I have been wearing them now for three days. They sure fit well. So much for standard sizes!

morning musings

There are many benefits of coming in early to office, but there is one clear big one. NO SWEAT. Yes, no grimy dirty stinky sweaty people. It’s nice and cooler in the mornings so the people are also cleaner, still fresh from their daily lirils and pantene’s. The women with their hair freshly washed and brushed still smelling of fragrant shampoo. They keep the hair open probably because its cooler (heat means tied hair) and they need to dry out form the washing. Its so much a better smell than the silly pungent perfume that use after they reach office. Ya. I could stare at a women’s freshly washed, dry and clean hair for the entire bus journey. Well it does not last more than 7 minutes in the morning though. It’s nice to see the various cuts and styles. Men hairstyles by that yardstick are extremely boring and ugly. I always wanted to learn to cut style hair. It’s so much fun. There is always a style that changes the way people look and feel about themselves. But surprisingly I am quite irritated with my own hair. If I have to comb it too much I just go and cut it. Short – really short! What good for the goose is not for the gander.

Jo bhi hai… on another note I sometimes wonder on the pressure that I am putting on myself. It surprises me how my life has changed, my thinking has changed over the last ten odd years that I have been working. I still get worked about important presentations. I still don’t sleep well before them. Not that I get nervous. I don’t think that’s the issue, I am pretty secure, but the fact that my brain refuses to let it die out. It keeps that top in the mind, constantly thinking, constantly ticking, pushing the bar, improving…. Constantly. Move, shove, push, move, forward… every time. Constantly… PUSH…one day I will tire and rest. I hope I rest content. I cannot imagine resting but someday I hope to. There is also another side that says that I will push on and never rest. I hope never to rest to constantly push, push harder and harder. I like that T shirt sign with Gandhi on the design – ‘my life is my message’. Bang on! Like something profound that I learnt in Jainism (a nice book – a journey through Jainism). In Jainism we go to the temples not to pray and ask but to see the idols of great souls who have given it all up and get inspired by them. By their actions they teach. They do not preach they only do – it is up to us to follow. What a lovely thought. Tough on the others but brilliant. I have always learnt by watching and not by following what people teach. Watching and imbibing is the bets way. Many times, in cricket, in life, at work, i could visualize what the bets in that field would do and try to emulate. It’s like the story of eklavy and dronacharya. By having a statue of the guru is enough to learn. Its not important for any of my guru’s to be physically in front of me. Their images in my mind is more than enough. After all what’s the bloody brain for?

Yesterday was a high point for me in my life at this company. The company did something I cannot disclose but proved to me that I was valuable to them. In fact amongst the top guys in my division (strength 250 heads). That felt good. Emotional. That’s the bond which I have with my organization. That’s what makes us tick. Strong emotional connect? I dunno. Will tell you and let you know when I find out. I think it will be years before I understand, and I would have lost the question as well. So if you are reading this 20 years on and want to know the answer, let me know! I will tell you what I know at that point of time. The fun thing with perspective is that it keeps on changing. Just keeps on changing. PUSH PUSH PUSH…..

lots to talk about

Wowie.. Finally some time to write something here. Been some time now. Work pressure starts from the moment I step in. lots of things happened from the last time I wrote in the blog.

I had been to Turkey for an offsite.i hardly took any snaps of the place. I find it quite boring to do so. I prefer clicking peole I know. So that’s what I did. In the process I clicked some nice snaps of people inoffice. Ofocurse th women make prettier subjects than men but, hell I am gender neutral. I prefer anyone who is expressive. In lesser light conditiond I prefer the women as they are ones who are quite ready to pose. Some reason is vanity and some reason is charm. But who’s complaining. I am clicking and loving it. The best thing about clicking is to click and then pass on the snaps to the relevant guys and if they love themselves then that’s more than enough. Most people are so critical of themselves when they see their photos. Give yourselves a break guys! We love you when you are expressing something, that’s all. You are pretty the camera is just capturing it. I got the idea for my desk board. I am going to only put up photos of people that I click. I would like to call it the wall of vanity. We might have more women than men there but, who cares. I have clicked an large number of nice photos of guys. Sab daalte hain.

The photos I really hate to click are the silly ass photos of people outside monuments. I have been there type of photos. If you see orkut profiles of people that the first thing that you see in Indian profiles. Pictures of people next to monuments / sights etc in phoren land. I guess it’s a huge mindset issue. Phoren travel is still aspirational and the fact that you have traveled might be a point of pride and differentiation. You are not going to see pictures of me in front of monuments for sure, atleast not in orkut profiles. Pagal gaya hai kya? I rather have pictures of the monuments in interesting angles. That’s my type.

Taxi’s seem to be an issue when I leave early to drop Jispa to the bus stop. So jasmine’s been ferrying us. I ask jasmine to drop us before so that Jispa and me cross the road and have fun walking and spending some quality time. Today I taught her to jump from a height that she was not used to. Street jumping. Good. She was walking up the steps on her own. They were a little high and she wante dot do it without my support and without touching anything with her hands. Slowly she managed. Then we learnt jumping by slowly giving less and less support till she jumped on her own. Time will come for her to jump on her own, to fall down, cry a bit, wipe her own tear and dust herself off. And I will have to let go. Another step in growing up. Different times of our lives as parents we will let go of different things. This is one small step. One small step.

Check the pics. The first one she is climbing, the second one she is about to jump. Its no small step. In five minutes she went from being terrified to bold jumping. I could actually see her conquering her fear. Go Jispa GO.

baby talk

I loved the application on face book which allows you to input all the books that you have read / want to read. Finally a digital catalogue of my books. Good.

While I was having a look at the excel sheet that has all the books, I noticed a typo in one of the books names – it read – ten basic principles for goon parenting. Haha sure.

Jispa was telling me, “My school has one thousand students. But now there are only a thousand. One person from my class left the school that’s why only thousand, earlier there were one thousand.” That was easily the funniest one I have heard in a long long time.

birthdays...I am in love with you

Finally… oh my lovely blog, I finally have time to write in you. Kya timepass hai yeh. But there was so much to write and so little time. Office has been crazy with all hell breaking loose.

In between I even had my birthday. On my birthday while having bath (no not a birthday bath, just one of the regular everyday bath) I was thinking of when I was little and how we could get to wear colored clothing in school and give out sweets. Earlier till the third standard I studied in Dubai and our vacations were in July and August. That meant no colored clothes for me and no being hero for the day. So when we shifted to Mumbai, one of the look forwards (there weren’t too many) was that in August schools were on. So I could wear my safari to school. I distinctly remember wearing my light bluish grey safari and distributing sweets in school. Before you distribute and the entire class singing.. happy birthday to you. Clap clap. Man it felt so good when that happened for the time in IV B. I remember counting the days left to my birthday and what I would wear. The sweets we used to give out were parle orange flavored hard boiled confectionaery. They used to cost around 10 paise each in retail and lower if you bought them by the bulk. Every guy in class (60 of us) would get two. And I think the best friend secretly got more. One would get more number of best friends on a birthday than other normal days. 10 paise I guess went a long way those days. Or should I say friendship was cheap. Whatever it was it sure was fun.
Oh I wish I had the same excitement of remembering my birthday two months in advance and counting down from there. This year my bachas at office gifted me a bat and a pair of jeans. The low waist, tight fit jeans. How the hell do these kids wear these low waisters, especially the women? Don’t they feel naked from the back? There is considerable amount of air that you feel your ass is getting and that the crack is showing. But I am sure the guys are not complaining. Every time you go to a store there will be one stupid lady bending down wearing a short t shirt and how could they not know? Well... I am sure the guys are not complaining.

teddy bears

Oh man, my blog is really suffering from the work load. There are tons to do and tons to follow up on. But then that’s the fun of it all I guess.
Yesterday Jispa must have been awake by 4 in the morning. For whatever reason. Now if she is awake and bored what to do. Get up, walk into the bedroom and snuggle up to daddy. And its always daddy, because mommy will send her packing off to her bed but daddy loves to get a teddy bear to sleep with. But there are small differences between a teddy bear and Jispa.
Teddy bear don’t hug you back
Teddy bear don’t shift positions again and again.
Teddy bear is asleep when you want him to
Teddy bears weigh much less
Teddy bears don’t suddenly feel thirsty in the middle ofthe night
Teddy bears let you sleep
Teddy bears are comfortable any how you hug them
Teddy bears can take your weight
Teddy bears don’t smile back
Teddy bear’s fingers don’t play with your face while you are sleeping
Teddy bears don’t kick their legs about when they are not sleepy
You don’t like kissing teddy bears too much

So bottom line – she gets up at 4 am and then ensures that even I don’t get sleep after that. But, who’s complaining. Not me. I love it. Anytime.

gaali mut de

I have been panning to write for some time now. The days have been so busy that it is almost impossible to get some tie out for writing. The whole day is one big incessant blur. From the time I come in early to the time I leave. Yesterday I thought I will finally write something and I was insired as well in the morning but my laptop password refused to connect me in. What the hell man? Nevertheless here I finally am. I have stopped swearing. My dear student Khyati was in office for a month doing her summers with some other department. She told me to stop and there I said why not. It’s been quite some time since I have stopped with only an occasional one coming in. not bad. After ten years of expletives I could not say a few sentences in office with using colorful words. Chalo theek hai. Dekhte hain how long it lasts.

I am so goddam sleepy. I have some obscene backlog of sleep which I wan to catch up on. And tomorrow I am going to Goa with the cricket team for a picnic. There goes some more sleep. Raat ko baith ke daru sessions mein bore hona. Oh dear me really really pathetic.

jispa jispa jispa

Here is wishing a very happy birthday to Reshma. She reads regularly and prods me when I go lazy. It is only fitting that I not miss to write my blog today. Happy birthday Reshma.

I was brushing away the little dirt that was near Jispa’s eyes. “You don’t let me wash your face, see, its dirty”. I was explaining to her that now she is grown up, she must let me wash her face while giving her a bath. She is not small. She used to cry when I washed a face a few year ago. She asked me “why was I not allowing you to face my face?”. “I don’t know” I replied, “you were too small to tell me what you were thinking”. She wondered and asked “I also did not know the meaning of my own thoughts?” oops. I don’t know if you knew the meaning or not.

Since I keep harassing her on what she ate at school, I have told her to call me as soon as she gets down from the bus. She used to call and then rattle off. Sometimes I could be in a meeting so I asked her to first ask me if I was free. Today she called me and first asked me if I was free. Then she rattled off what she ate and what she made in school. Some jam tart and some cake. She then asked me if I was in my company restaurant (she means cafeteria) because of the noise in the background. Smart girl. She was right.

She is learning the letter B. So generally while dropping her to the bus stop we start of saying a lot of things that start with B. ba ba ba…bucket. Ba ba ba….book. and so on. I said ba ba ba … broom. She replied ba ba ba…. Supaddi (scoop in gujarati, as in opposite of broom) she found it extremely funny. She kept repeating it and laughing. Hahahahahah sure...

shopping withJispa

Walking into malls is injurious to your wallet, especially when you are feeling rich. Jasmine and I are felling a little rich these days I guess, guessing from the battered state of my wallet! Yesterday we were at Centre one mall attending a birthday party of one of Jispa’s frinds. We decided to stay on post the party. There goes the budget… right into the well or should I say right into the deep well like atrium that most malls have. We bought an arrow shirt for me. The cheapskate that I am, I only buy if the dam thing is on discount or in seconds. The piece I bought is an atypical printed shirt. I have been trying to ruffle a few feathers in office and prove that marketing is different and has a whack on the right side of the head. This is in continuance to the printed gujju type shirt I wore the last Friday. Karo… lets see where the twig breaks. We then went to do some more shopping. While Jasmine was browsing through her stuff in the sale, Jispa and me were at the toy section. I too have not gotten over my boy toy fixation. I can spend hours in a toy store. Jispa is normally never hyper ina toy store. No faltu zid that I want to buy this or that toy. She is a balanced kid in a toy shop. Also she like the baby toys that do something on pressing some buttons. Then at the Barbie section, she sat down and was intently staring at the Barbie house sets. I let her be and was looking at the other sections. I came back to see her still there, just sitting and dreaming looking at the set. She must have been in that place for atleast 10-15 minutes. Till of course she wanted to do potty urgently. MOMMY – come fast. Post her detour, she comes back to stare at the set. Finally she tells me that she wants to buy the set. I look at the back. 699 bucks huh? Not so bad, I can definitely afford it, but should I buy it for her. I show her the other sets, but she is intent on buying that one set. I look at Jasmine, Jasmine looks at me. It’s definitely not the question of cost. We were both wondering on the same thing. What to do when she asks to buy a particular thing. Saying yes would mean saying that we will buy what you want and that could snowball into some hugely bad stubborn habit. Giving due credit to her, she has so far not been that kind of a kid. She normally understands when we don’t buy what she suggests. But this time she really liked what she saw and she wanted it bad. Well what the hell, go buy it, but we will not buy what you want every time. Yes, yes, mummy, it ok… thank you…hmmmm. So much thought into parenting. I have no clue how much is really important of not. But we can only do the best from what we understand at that given point of time.

oye cudly

These days Jispa has acquired a funny habit. In the middle of the night she gets up and gets onto our bed. Just like that. I turn and I suddenly find her sleeping next to me. Kya hai yeh? Jispa singles me out as normally I am the one to allow her to sleep. I don’t ask her go back. Jasmine normally gets her to go back on her bed. I kinda like sleeping with the cuddly. But only thing is that this cuddly is growing bigger everyday and requires more place to sleep.

Well, I did finish reading the Harry Potter in two days and I found it interesting. But I am not going to comment on my earlier blog that was predicting Harry to be a horcrux. I may be right or I may be wrong. But if someone is reading the books I would not want to spoil it for them. Confirming either way would be being a spoiler. So that’s that.

harry

the latest and last harry potter book is releasing tomorrow. For all those who care, here's my prediction - Harry is a horcrux. Hopefully we will know by my Monday's blog how wrong I could be :)

aao bachon

I was getting off the VT railway station with my big yellow umbrella today morning. It was a nice rainy day. As I getting out opening my umbrella, a very young boy in a school uniform came upto me, “uncle, mujhe andar aane do na”
“aaja hero, kidhar jar aha hai?”… We start walking. I try to crouch to ensure he’s covered under the umbrella better. Finally I figure that the only way is to put my arm around him and his bag to get the coordinates better and match foot speed.
“mera school handloom house ke wahan hai. Aaj idhar bus ka pass banana aaya tha”
“lekin main toh idhar bus stop tak hi jaa raha hun” “ok”. I think a while and then figure that what the hell. A small detour will get the kid to school without wet socks. Oh yes… one of the big memories of school during rains is dirty wet socks hung at various angles to dry on the benches. Yup, lots of them were stinking. Boys are ungly
“Chal main aaj tereko school chod ta hun”
Hmmmmmmm………..
………………………..
…………………………
……………………..
“pass acha hai kya?” I asked.
“haan. Pachaas rupiya mein full month unlimited jaa sakta hai. Smart card hai. Waise roj ka che rupiyah hota hai. Dus din mein hi sixty ho jata hai. Pass se JJ se handloom house kitna bhi chaho ghum sakte ho”
We had further conversation on school times, the fact that he is 5 minutes late, his mom is going to be called, that he is going to be marched out to school office etc etc. we reached his school and he thanked me and apologized for me being late thanks to him. Oh chill, I tell him, I am an hour early for office. Bye kid nice knowing you. Bye uncle. The uncle tag on me wears very well.... very well indeed.

5 minutes with an absolute stranger kid left me with such delight

the journey of a thousand steps begins with a ......

Yesterday Jispa saved me from falling down the steps. I always hold her hand while climbing up and down the stairs. Almost always. This is an old habit mainly due to the fact that I am normally overtly cautious and believe that what can be avoided must be. I was getting off the foot over bridge when due to the light rain the steps were slippery and I slipped. Luckily I was holding her and she held on to her balance well and truly firm and bore my weight. I was thus saved by my little one. Am I a proud father or am I a proud father.

This Saturday we went to Aamby valley. I had to go on an official visit and decided to take my family along. The road up from Lonavala was thru the clouds. Jispa got a chance to see the clouds and while we were massing thru it I rolled down the windows. She stuck her hand out and felt the clouds / mist in her hand. She felt it to be ‘gluey’.

Jispa taking off.....

cukoo talk

Guess what a lovely little cuckoo told me today morning – the plane flies over the clouds so that when it has to apply the brakes the plane does not fall down. Apparently the clouds support it.

God and Jispa

When we went to Singapore, it was about a year since Jispa went in a flight. When we took off and were flying high, Jispa was enjoying it. She said ‘wow – we are going up high?”. Jasmine replied in the affirmative and said “we will be as high as the clouds”. Jispa then said “NO… we will not go as high as the clouds, we cannot go”. “ofcourse we can” said jasmine. Jispa looked at me. I too confirmed “yup, see… we will be as high and higher than the clouds”. Jispa half confused, half happy asked “then we will get to see God?”. Whoops. What to answer now. I half tempted to say – sure, look hard, unless he is taking a vacation himself, you might just spot him. I don’t remember what I said. I think I said that you cant see God or something to that effect. These days, we have been having these conversations on God and his presence. Once while sleeping, she refused to sleep alone, saying that she was scared. I had to explain that there are so many Gods to protect her all around her. We have also locked the doors and the windows, so that no one will come to harm her. And from somewhere the conversation went to a point where I was explaining to her that God is inside her, inside everything and every place. Today morning while having a bath, there was another conversation on God. I was saying God is in everything. God is inside her. It is inside everything that is nice and good. So she went one “god is inside everything. It is inside a banister because it helps us and stops us from falling. It is inside the walls.” “walls?” “yes, the walls protect us and don’t fall”… “hmm… yup, God is inside everything nice and good. Now go on you have finished your bath. Tell this to mummy.”
Her brains are amazing developed for some logical thinking. When you talk to her you can make out that she is thinking, registering and then only accepting. Her mind is working. It’s not blank acceptance. Then comes, the confirmation in the form of examples of proving what she just understood. Very very cool. I am impressed.

dont just accept it

For some reason from some where hidden in my memory a story line from something I had seen popped up. someone (I would imagine the devil) comes to a person and offers him money. In return all he has to do is press a button. One pressing this button someone somewhere around the world, someone you did not know will die. That’s it. For the hell of me I could not figure out which movie or serial it was. What would you do? Would you just do it? Interesting question… and after you do it.. the devil takes away the button… where to?... well to someone else you don’t know… hehehehehhe.
Kya pakau idea hai. Disturbing hai.

I never did realize that by watching Khini kum, I would get depressed today!. Let me explain. Before the movie I walked into Crosswords at the multiplex. I picked up an interesting book – confessions of an economic hit man by John Perkins. An outstanding must read about the global level of corruption, power and immorality. Post that the same guys came out with another book that I saw before watching the Fantastic Four. A Game as old as empire. Oh man… this is another depressing book. “here other economic hit men, journalists, and investigators join Perkins to reveal many more disturbing stories of greed and international corruption.” This book is an amazing brain fuck. To continue “in gripping detail, they describe the schemes and subterfuges that multinational corporations, governments, powerful individuals, financial institutions, and quasi-governmental agencies enrich themselves behind the façade of ‘foreign aid’ and ‘ international development’.

If Jispa comes across these books early enough in her life she is going to be a radical.

I reminded of a poem I had heard years ago. It was in television series about the Vietnam War and some soldiers’ fire at a woman who opened fire at them. From her diary the soldiers read out a poem. It goes something like this…
If you want to be a flower, be the prettiest
If you want to be (something I don’t remember) be the (some superlative)
Etc etc etc…. (I don’t remember)
(It ends this way though)
But if you want to be a human being be a revolutionary….

Of course I am not expecting her to be a naxal. That’s definitely not the way. There are also books about Gandhiji that if she reads will tell her a lot. Those are outstanding insights into his mind and his fight for the truth.

This tank man at the Tiananman Square China who with his presence and a bunch of groceries, stopped a battalion of tanks by just standing there is an inspiration.




Video of the same.

weekend musings

What an action packed weekend. It started with an action packed movie Die Hard 4.0 on Friday evening. Mad movie. Bruce Willis does all the unbelievable moves with the same dead pan expression that made him, well, Bruce Willis. Your average city cop who can jump on F16’s, shoot helicopters with cars, fly helicopters, jam cars down lift chutes and the rest. Wowie. Complete humbug stuff…. Did I like the movie you ask? I absolutely loved it. I am going to see it again. Complete action movie. Can’t believe a second of it.
Next day was tons of rain day. Did not step outside the house – the movie rubbed off on me the wrong way I guess. But I did something that I found absolutely fun. I took a lot of Jispa’s toys and dumped them on her writing board. I then took top views of them and voila – I spy with my eye. We printed and stuck it on her scrap book for the school. Here is the one. See if you can spy –

I spy with my eye

1. a blue bird
2. a kiwi
3. the missing shoe
4. a fairy (from peter pan)
5. a blue crayon
6. a trophy
7. a hair dryer
8. a flagpole
9. ganesh
10. a book
11. a hat
12. bob the builder
13. steering wheel(s)
14. a mobile phone
15. a pair of red sandals – ok they look a little pink
16. a candle
17. a tap - not fair actually
18. Exxon
19. the magic lamp
20. pedal
21. a bow
22. chopsticks
23. a lego seat - again not fair if you have not played with Jispa
24. two running men - very very unfair.

Vinu’s reaction -

Can we play the Beginners version of the game. I'm not a grand master yet.
So how about spying
Princess Jasmine
Ambulance
Green balloon
Purple/Violet balloon
Mickey Mouse

Damn it. For a start with a bang, I can't spot the blue bird. Its easier for me to list what I can spot.

Heheheh – he was always the blind one. How many can you spot?

Then on Sunday we saw ‘khain kulli ki main kulli’. Cute kiddie movie about a magic bat helping India win. FTR – Jispa cried in this one as well. This is when the bat broke. I console her ‘ don’t worry, all is not lost. Keep seeing’. She asks “will they still win”.”I don’t know – keep watching. Its ok to lose as well you know”. She sobs a little and says,”in school when I run, it is not like ‘sometimes you win, sometimes you lose’. In school in running I always win”. She is quite proud about her running skills in school. She manages to win all the time. Very cool. I love it. I wish for her to take up any sport. Any one sport and play well and under professional coaching. Always good to understand one sport to the best that you can. Post which we went for a kiddie birthday party. Jispa does not like to miss any parties. She loves the games, the cake and everything in middle.

free hugs

thats the way it should be

Trimurti

Knowing a word is interesting especially when it describes a feeling. After writing about catharsis yesterday, I experienced it. Hehehhe now I know what I expeirencied. After two and a half years of beautifying my desk I got rid of everything. All the photos, greeting cards, everything on the desk. Completely. It is bare bones clean. See the before and after pics… from super creative to super clean.

mmmm…does it reflect a new way of thinking. My guys were wondering what came over me. They were almost scared that something’s gone completely wrong. I have been thinking about getting rid of it all for sometime now. Too many people were commenting on it and calling it beautiful. I don’t like when too many people like it! Now slowly let me think of something new to put on it.

It’s also in many ways symbolic. One of the best management theories I read was concerning, Brahma (creator), Vishnu (preserver) and Maheswara (destroyer). This was from Circle of Innovation by Tom Peters. I had read it years ago while browsing at Satyam centre at Churchgate. Those were the days that I could not afford to buy books. I hope Jispa never has that problem. So I created it, I preserved it and now I destroyed it. Every company needs a mix of this if it has to survive and grow. I so believe in it. After two and a half years I am trying to actively destroy a lot of processes, thinking and way of doing. Only from the ashes of the present will we be able to do anything more path breaking.

Despite the difficulties, all the frustrations, there is a joy in having done something as well as you could and better than others thought that you could. – JRD Tata. Very true.

I picked that up from the Kishore Biyani’s book, it happened in India. When the book first released, in all my arrogance I did not pick it up. a big launch, widely distributed, how could it have given me all the intellectual fart that I so crave for. I will learn constantly that I must not judge a book too soon ands not to get intellectually arrogant. It’s turned out pretty decent with enough leanings and anecdotal value. Not bad at all. Once I complete it let me see make an ‘intellectual’ comment.

rediscovery of emotions

Years ago, eons ago… when I was in school I read the knowledge bank series. There I remember reading about dreams and rapid eye movement. It was very interesting. Today morning I was just looking at Jispa sleeping. She was sleeping peacefully. But her eyeballs were moving inside her closed eyelids. Left right, up down. She was dreaming. I don’t know why, but it was a pretty sight. Just knowing that your child is dreaming is such a lovely thing. Hope fully they weren’t nightmares.

Yesterday I was on a word understanding spree. I was understanding the real meaning of the word Catharsis - A release of emotional tension, as after an overwhelming experience, that restores or refreshes the spirit. I was speaking about this to Satarupa (a friend from Kolkata), she gave me one more word, Epiphany - As a feeling, an epiphany is a sudden realisation or comprehension of the essence or meaning of something. The term is used in either a philosophical or literal sense to signify that the claimant has "found the last piece of the puzzle and now sees the whole picture," or has new information or experience, often insignificant by itself, that illuminates a deeper or numinous foundational frame of reference.
Lovely words, if one understands the depth of their meanings. Good fun.

Dimag laga

Movies allways have an impact on people. I am no exception. Yesterday we went to watch the fantastic four. We were most enamored by the ‘fantastic’ bunch. I remember seeing Jackie Chan movies when I was much younger and then doing those imaginary kicks and punches and jumping away from danger. The mad escapist world of movies!!! This time we were returning home and we were in the lift that had gone bonkers, thanks to the rain I think. While going up it just stops on the 9th floor and remains open for a random period of time. Wife and Vinu who were along were busy pressing all the various buttons in the hope of getting the lift door to close. I calmly said “move aside”. I put my arms on either side of the door and said “I will make it close by the power of a magnetic force, like the fantastic four”. I stood there humming and touching the sides of the lift in a picture of intense concentration. Voila – it closed… I could not help laughing looking at Jasmine and Vinu’s faces.

We went to the Magnet store on Saturday. I picked up a bottle of ready to drink Tabasco Bloody Mary mix. Just add vodka and there you have a ready bloody Mary. Most of the time when we go drinking I am forced to drink Virgin Mary, so by default it has become a favorite drink. I normally check out the ingredients for non vegetarian contents. I could prima facie spot none. It also had a green dot mark. On reaching home Vinu saw the ingredients and spotted Anchovies. Anchhovies - Small, silvery fish that are usually cured with salt. So that’s pretty non-veg by my standards. It was imported by some United Distributors inc co at Dr. E Moses Road. The dickheads put the vegetarian mark on it. Good luck I did not open or drink it. Now whom to catch for this transgression. Absolutely no concern, that too in a large vegetarian country like India. Let me try calling them up and seeing. Dekhe.