joker ya teacher?

Jispa’s results are releasing. She is scoring decently well. Except for the languages she seems to be in the As. So I guess the strategy is working fine. More regular work and less pressure studies. More discussion through the year and less mugging; that’s the only way to go forward from here I think. Now I have to sort the language mess. I can possibly get her to do better in English but I don’t think I can be too much of a help in Hindi. I hate that subject.

It’s a shame that Hindi which is what the maximum people in India speak is a language so alien to us. While we were growing up it was clear – you must speak English. English is the way to a good job, great pay and decent career. It’s true as well. If you don’t know your English you surely will be judged and sniggered at behind your back. People put a lot of emphasis on the grammar and the spellings and the punctuations. But seriously – I am ashamed that I don’t know Hindi as well. In fact I can’t even read Jispa’s text book at a decent speed. Bah! But hopefully I will try and get there.

So now every day I sit with Jispa and ask her – what she did in school, which are the subjects taught and which topics were discussed. In the last sem she had the Egyptian and the Harrappan civilization. In explaining that I also explained how a recent book I read spoke about debunking the Aryan invasion nd said that possibly the Rig Vedas were written by the Harappan themselves while on the banks of the Saraswati. This helped her this week as the topic they discussed next was the Aryan civilization. She also countered / spoke up in class while the discussions were on. That’s nice.

All the subjects that are taught in school are interesting by themselves. There is so much magic in history, geography, math, science etc. So much fun inside to know what all is happening. It’s up to the teacher to make it come alive, to make it magical for the students. If the teacher is dry then the subject becomes dry. It’s so important to entertain your students. At first the concept that I had was the old traditional concept, that’s it’s the student’s job to study and soak from the teacher. The teacher’s job is simply to be earnest. But the reverse is actually true. It’s the teacher’s job to ensure that the students learn. Hence to learn the teacher has to be a joker. It is his primary job to entertain. Everyone these days is sued to all time always on entertainment. If you are bored, all you have to do is remove your phone and start playing, browsing or listen to music and shut off the world. As a teacher or a presenter in a conference, the challenge is serious. You have to first entertain then educate. You have to be Patch Adams - “You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome”. You don’t teach the subject, you teach the person!

I hope that Jispa’s looks back on these days with a bit of fun. I want her to feel that studying was fun with dad. I hope I bring a certain joy for her subjects, no matter how dry they seem. So I keep trying to explain to her, how exciting each subject is and how they help us in our lives. History is also exciting and so are museums. Geaography is exciting and so are the mountains. Math is a part of our daily life and modern science benefits are there to see in our lifestyle. Its amazing. School Curriculum is not the issue. Its all there and fun around you. It’s the teachers that are the issue.

Jasmine good friend is doing a course that teaches he rot be a Nursery teacher. Dam cool. But as a part of her study she has to submit numerous teaching aids. She has to paint Raavan and then paint the Ram story and then something else. And tons of craft and art has it be submitted. How would making all these ‘teaching aids’ make you a great teacher. And how is it that if you don’t know or are bad at art and craft, would make you a bad teacher. Your job is to have fun with the kids, enjoy, teach them about basics, respect, independence and authority. Manners, courtesy and care – that’s important. How much of the teacher’s course involves using eth multimedia tools available and understanding the psychology of the kids and the growth patterns we see in particular ages. Sometimes we are just happily stuck in the dark ages!

Some more bonus Patch Adams quotes. I want to see that movie with Jispa now.

Hunter Patch Adams: Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.

Mitch Roman: I don't like you!

Hunter Patch Adams: Why don't you like me? You're a prick and I like you.

Hunter Patch Adams: And if we bury you ass up, I have got a place to park my bike.

Hunter Patch Adams: [Patch is trying to convince Rudy not to be afraid of squirrels] What could they want? Your nuts?

And the sermon is seen here

an umbrella of fantasy

It’s been one of my parenting dreams, to enjoy a good movie with Jispa. Jispa’s and my taste in movies don’t exactly match. But it’s getting there. Till a long period of time she was stuck in feel good animation. Slowly she moved on to the Avengers kind of stories and I think she even watched a few X- men series. But there was hardly anything that I could be really happy with. Once long before I watched Gandhi with her. She was still pretty small at the time. I think she was hardly 8 years old. I think I have blogged about it. At the end she was in tears as Gandhi was shot and she famously asked – “The British did not kill Gandhi? We Indians only killed him?” Epic moment in growing up.

So every time at Abbas Library where we borrow the movies, Jispa and me have an epic fight. Which movie to see. She ends up seeing movies I hate. I hate sweet cute movies meant for ‘family’ and that I get so worked up over. And I am done with animation movies. I have seen so many that I hardly can tolerate any new ones. The really fresh animation content aka Kung Fu panda is hard to come by anymore. So we always spend a long time at the library trying to get this right. most of the time we end up taking either her movie or my movie in which case she is not interested / permitted to see it. Hardly any properly family movie that the family enjoys.

Just this weekend – I saw ‘Saving Mr Banks’ on the library display. An Oscar kind of movie? Would Jispa really enjoy it? But then it’s produced by Disney and has the ‘Disney’ label on it. It is possibly quite an interesting one. So we took it home and we began watching it at night. Jasmine reminds me of my dad. Whenever a movie starts my dad would simply go to sleep. Jasmine too just dozes of through the movies. She is just too tired to watch a movie at night. And I guess the TV screen gives out some relaxing signals as well. I guess if we are forced to sit in one place and free our minds – they simply just doze off. I remember my Yoga classes.

But then Jispa and I were watching this movie and we were commenting on it. The movie is about how Disney broke their head with the Author of Mary Poppins while trying to get the script and screen play right for the movie. Of course I am assuming that only a genesis of the idea is real with a lot of fiction thrown in for making it an engaging screen play. But forget all those inanities. Just watch the movie for the amazing characters. Especially that of the author PL Travers. Emma does a wonderful job with her uptight English portrayal and her amazing use of English to spew acerbic around her. Jispa and I were so much in love with her character. In sharp contrast was Walt Disney. Full of life, American capitalist spreading joy in the world, for unashamed gains. And then you contrast with her flashback, where she sees her fun dad succumb to alcohol. I loved the movie and so did Jispa.

We discussed it for some time and we both enjoyed it when in the flash back, her Aunt (the Mary Poppins inspiration) comes to her home.

Afterwards while we were discussing the movie, I spoke to Jispa about my views on alcohol. I explained that I don’t see anything hugely wrong in drinking. Nopes, it’s not necessarily a bad thing but then there are other ramifications to it. I explained what my dad used to say. Drinking a glass is not bad. The problem is that it doesn’t stop there.  That’s when it gets bad. I explained that when we go on a holiday, I go so that we spend time with each other. I see families where the dad sits at the table with his drink, while the family looks on. Sure he enjoys his beer, but I see that as time that I waste away from my family. I want to spend time with Jispa and Jasmine and why should I drink in that time. Plus she also saw the ill effects in the movie from drinking.

That was my chat about drinking to her. Drinking smoking etc are difficult topics to talk about. When Jispa gets older it’s going to be her choice on what she wants to do. I would surely not like her to start this when she is younger than 18. But its not like they really will tell you when they start. That’s my problem. I don’t like it but I don’t really want to oppose it. My views are my views. They remain my views, I don’t want to impose them but I would surely like to them to influence towards a choice to be made. I just think that the choice is not favorably loaded on your side. So that’s that!

But it still was a lovely movie and I loved watching it with Jispa.

Bonus song : what else chim chimeree from Mary Poppins. It was very nicely used in this movie.

Also the final song which served as the ultimate redemption

Boss!

Now at this age with a 12 year old kid – you are definitely an “uncle’. You may not like it – but you are the uncle. But sometimes you can get elevated. And if the boys in your daughters class elevate you then you have done something that is a huge achievement.

A couple of weeks back Jispa was at a party. When we went to pick her up the kids were playing in the compound after the party. Jispa got into the car and then I decided to play a prank on the other kids. I told Jispa to watch the fun. I quietly moved my car next to the kids. There were a couple of girls from Jispa’s class whose back was to us. I suddenly revved up the engine and let out a sharp horn and braked. The boys simply looked up and the girls let out a scream and were completely scared. They almost dropped everything they had. In a few seconds the boys knew that this was a prank and were laughing their ass out. Then the boys – the naughtiest and the worst of them came up to my car. I rolled down the windows – we hi fived and then the boy screamed out – “ Uncle – BOSS”. That’s it. No body said – great prank, awesome prank, awesome idea, Great, cool or anything like that. For that fleeting moment – I was upgraded from Uncle to BOSS! On the other window another legendary naughty kidd, hifived and proclaimed me BOSS. What more can I wish for? I was no longer a simple Uncle, I was THE BOSS!

Another self gloating thing. Jasmine and Jispa have been at logger heads over studying. Hence over the last couple of weeks I took over. I learnt from last year that teaching her school is different from teaching at the schools I grew up with. we could simply study the notebook and come out of the exams with flying colors. I learnt that the text book is more important than the notebook. In fact they make it a point to ask questions outside of the notebook that tests your fundamental knowledge of the subject. So this time I have started with the text book and then moved onto the notebook. In English I did not even touch the notebook. More energies were focused on talking about the chapters. But the school likes to raise the bar. One chapter they have is on Prometheus and Pandora and her box. The story goes blah blah blah and Gods give Pandora a box to take to earth. She is advised by a well wisher not to open it. Curiosity gets better of her. She opens it to release suffering and other worries from the box and hence earth suffers from it. At the end – she hears a tiny voice from the box she tried to shut. There was hope inside. She then release hope as well as a balm to all suffering. The question she got in the exam was – why would Zeus put hope in the box when we wanted to send the box as a punishment for all mankind. Wow. Now that’s a nice question. Jispa rose to the occasion and answered – that zeus wanted mankind to suffer for eternity. So if there was only suffering and sadness, they would have fought and killed each other to the end, but hope gives them the courage to live on and then to suffer these for life – for always there will be hope. I was stunned. I would expected a humane answer like – finally he is a god and so he left hope so that his children bear the suffering. But Jispa’s take on it was that Zeus was unimaginably cruel or possibly a sadist. Hope kills you more than anything else in suffering. Hah! Amazing. I told her that it’s a great answer and if you have written it well enough – I don’t care if your teacher doesn’t like it. Nice one. She said – ya. I have always found these Greek Gods to be really cruel in all the stories.

I have read this story as a child and never saw this side of the equation. Why would you put hope ina  box meant to suffer. And a possible reason  as Jispa pointed out is not so altruistic. Possibly Jispa sees it because she does try to think differently, or is it possible because at home we are pretty agnostic towards God and religion. We don’t revere God at home. So she is not brainwashed into the undisputed benevolence of God. She questions his motives and sees him as such – She sees large swatches of black in his behavior. Very very Interesting. Very different from what I saw. I am impressed.

Another one on studying. Yesterday Jasmine called me at lunch. She asked me on Jispa’s science preparedness and if she could get by just reading through. I replied in affirmative. Jispa was done. After I put the phone down I was pretty happy. I was the BOSS. Normally it’s the dad asking mom if the kid is prepared for the exam. Not the other way around. That was the ultimate BOSS compliment!

So now I hope Jispa is really prepared for her exams. We have done it the right way. No mugging but understanding. Slowly and surely done the right way. I was then telling Jasmine – now whatever she gets I will be ok with the results because this is the right way to study – marks are of no consequence.

BOSS!

Bonus Really Bakwaas video:-

Where is your aggression?

What is aggression?

Going out and showing outwardly aggression. Showing off your anger. Pushing people, pumping fist, hitting hard shots. What is aggression?

I admit. I instinctively belong to the conventional wisdom of aggression. Trying hard and pumping fast. Show your aggression. Show your anger. Show your intent. Make it count. By nature I am an aggressive person. I used to use aggression to push myself in various situations. It helped me get my first job. They put us in a group and gave us topics for a group discussion. They also told us ‘kill the other guy if you need to but make your point and let it be heard’. What else would I want? That was all the invitation I needed. I pumped hard and maxed the discussions. Talking loud when chaos looms was my specialty.

But what got you here would not get you there. My age perhaps and my experience for sure has helped me change my aggression. I would say temper it… I would say change the way it manifests. A strong defensive shot is also aggression. Cricket has taught me that leaving the ball outside off stump is also aggression. In badminton, placing the shuttle quietly is also aggression.  Trusting yourself and pushing yourself in way that no one sees is also aggression.

See this video

I love this video. It typifies for me all that is aggression. All that is right and wrong about aggression. The Singaporean is outwardly aggressive. He is hitting the ball hard and fast. He is dominating the rally, but look at the Nigerian. He is focused on putting the ball back. Simply knocking it back into the table. Shot – Tap – Hard Shot – Tap – Harder Shot – Tap. No matter how far you are pushed and how less you dominate the game, finally the aggression can be simply in putting the ball back.

If you see his focus and see his anticipation and see how he released his pumped up aggression after the shot, you will realize that this sports person is as aggressive as the Singaporean. Not less. That is the aggression I am trying hard for.

Aggression that has no visual cue. Aggression that is internal. Aggression that has meaning. Aggression  that is not self-destructing.

It’s not that I can preach because I have achieved this. I haven’t. God knows I haven’t. But I am trying hard. Real hard. I have learnt it’s always better to be internally aggressive than externally so. But its  a Buddha state,  so painstakingly impossible to achieve. But the best way to achieve it is to have someone as a counterfoil. If you want to teach someone to not be aggressive then you have to not be so yourself and that helps you realize what it is to be such and what it takes. Teaching has helped me with many such instances. When I took up the teaching assignment around12 years ago I did not know it would permanently change me so.  I have become a teacher in class and in office and at home. It has helped me in many ways that I cant really understand or fathom. But surely it has helped me channelize my famous ‘doshi’ temper as my mom calls it.

My mom still thinks I have the doshi temper, possibly because she sees the temper. The aggression in me still. It may be masked for others but for my mom it may be just a different mifestation of the aggression. To her I may have never reduced my aggression. Possibly she is right. Aggression is core to me. I cannot possibly change it. can I fight genetics, but I can surely change the way it comes out. Aggression that is internal as the Nigerian showed can be different, useful and even heart warming. The goal is to reach there, inch by inch!

Inch by inch. Here is the other more glamorous side of aggression. This is what people call aggression and movies like these promote the notion of aggression that leads to results! Possibly it works as its easier to inculcate and transfer. But I doubt if this aggression is what leads to results. Matches and competitions are won in the head and not with your arms and limbs. They are there after years of practice but what makes you win – it’s the head.

Inch by inch –

Now listen to this as well….

This is also highly motivational. One could argue that this is what motivates people.

On the face of it this completely debunks everything I have said. But I would argue otherwise. I think this completely proves everything that I have said. The champion lies inside me. It is me. It is for me to figure what I have to do to be the champion. And more than anything, if I have to win I have to have belief in myself and in my ability – because who am I? I am a champion!

See the video below – the same wordings being used at possibly a talk before the game. Possibly to push the players.

But if you are losing and on a losing streak would this be something you want to mumble. I would argue not. But if you are a strong team and you love each other and back each other, you would scream this out even if you were losing. This I argue is nothing but a war cry, a chant that makes you feel like a team, because you shout out something in unison. It is a bonding ritual and it gets you going (it definitely gets me going) because we are at heart the hunter gatherer, the team that works together and fights together, because you can only hunt if you are a pack. Alone a hunter is often just simply dead! This riual makes you a part of a team. A team that is ready to perform and support you and fight for you, with you. But it doesn’t take away the fact (actually it’s an opinion) that the game is internal and in your head! And your head is better off knowing that if you do your job you have your team to back you up while they do theirs!

changing the world - one shower at a time

Ah the pleasures of a shower. I remember as a kid when I was growing up in Dubai I would have a shower bath. It was fun. Then when we came to Mumbai, for the first few years we stayed at our old place. Mom and dad later bought a largish house in a more modern apartment block which had all the modern trappings but till then it was the traditional 1970’s house. So our bathroom had a small instant heater which let out small quantities of water. Basically a really small tap attached to what I think was a brass geyser. We would use it to fill the bucket with water and then have a bath. I realized pretty quickly that since it was at a height I could simply stand under the water flow and think of it as a shower.

I love having bath. I could have a bath for an hour, with the water flowing forever. Showers are the coolest thing ever. It takes me just 10 minutes to get properly wet else I don’t even think I have gotten wet. Jasmine takes quick showers and wonders what on earth is going on. How does one explain the great fun of the water slowing over you?

So as a kid when we moved to the new house the first thing that got me excited was the shower. There was a huge capacity hater geyser over head and that was super cool. I could have a bath under the showers for almost forever. But this myth was to be busted. Of course  at first there was mom and dad. They would knock on the door when time went out of hand. And there were siblings. With three kids wanting to shower, one couldn’t really have an unhindered long bathing session. But the crucial point was something else. This was a storage water geyser, means that in some time the hot water would run out and you would get cold water flowing. What crap! The pleasures of a warm shower being affected by something as mundane as capacity.

When we shifted to our current home, I was happy to see the same but modern version of the old small water geyser. This geyser would simply heat the water and go on for hours. It was not a storage water geyser. Awesome fun started again. These years have been fun again! We have been enjoying the benefits of the water geyser and hot water for hours. Jispa has taken up after me. She too likes hanging around the shower. I am sure like me; she plays in the water, and throws water around. I used to do that in the hand shower. Throw water up and wonder what happens :). And like my parents, we too scold her and keep knocking – come out come out. Oh dam you bloody parenting.

It’s such a pain. There isn’t time to have a leisurely shower and refresh. I was explaining to Jispa the other day that four hours of your day goes away thanks to your swimming and hence there is no way you can spend time like this doing the things you want to do. Such a tough choice.

But this isn’t about her, it’s about showers. I have genuinely tried many times to cut short showers, use cold water and other stuff… but I always revert back to the old hot showers. In fact I used to have really hot showers which I managed to cool down. I think it makes my skin drier. Then I have tried to really go in and come out fast. Soon enough the lure of spending 20 minutes in a shower relaxing and thinking about great world changing ideas was too much to give up on.

In monsoon when the rains gets delayed there are many articles on how the rain water must be conserved and how we don’t have enough water. This time I decided to do something about it. I decided to get out the buckets and decided to have water from hot water filled in the buckets. “Ya sure” was Jasmine’s reaction to this. I asked Jispa if she would do the same. She was happy to comply as well.  So now I have tried to have atleast one bath with the water stored in a bucket. Pretty stupid thing, I am sure it going to turn out. One more of the failed ideas. I don’t know how long it will last. My wife thinks it will last till winter at best. But at least a few showers a week will convert into bucket baths and that is also a decent thing. something is better than nothing.

The flip side – world changing ideas can wait for the evening bath!

Bonus video!

Eat a lot of chocolates

The Pro kabaddi league is off to a great start. I happen to be in the middle of the entire drama as one of the teams is owned by Uday Kotak in a personal capacity. Like always I love being exposed to a variety of experiences and being involved in a sports team is definitely amongst the most interesting experiences of a lifetime.

The first thing was naming the team, then some designs and some posters… I have blogged about being involved in the making of the song and video… here is the final video

Man it was amazing fun!

The matches have started well in earnest. But I see quite a few issues that need to be ironed out. At the start itself I had told the team to focus on diet and nutrition along with training as a core requirement. Budget constraints pushed it out of the reckoning. I had my chance again when we lost two close opening matches. I saw what the team was having. They were having energy drinks and protein drinks at no predefined intervals. No plan no thinking only drinking. This made no sense to me. Thanks to Jispa and her sport I am aware of a few things. You need carbs before the matches and you need protein after to recover. Simple basics and you have to be hydrated with electrolytes and not with high sugar energy drinks. Sugar is a killer. And where the F are the bananas in the entire picture? The team was without any such food. Hence I got the ear of a senior guy and I directly rammed it in. This team is eating all wrong. They are getting wrong nutrition and wrong training.

I see being a team owner as a kind of responsibility. A responsibility to all the players that you have bought for your team. They need to be taken care of. Especially in kabaddi when the players are from the hinterland and are not really well off or are not really exposed to the scientific training mindset. These guys are players whom we need to groom and prepare for the long run. They will go back to their teams and they have to tell everyone and spread the word what they have learnt. So now thanks to Jispa I could push my point across and thanks to that we have got a budget sanctioned for a trainer and a masseur for the kabaddi team.

Then I remember the experience I had with the cricket team and then the interaction I had with Anil Kumble once and how he spoke about enjoying practice and I found that a big thing. Even Tendulkar and Dravid can get bored doing the same net practice every day. That’s right. You may be the best in the world but you can still be bored at doing the same thing every day. The idea is to have fun and do a wide variety of things that can get you to be the best at what you are. Its fun and a challenge.

The point being that life is a collection of experiences. You build on what you experience. On what you learn from anywhere. I never knew that Jispa’s swimming and an event with Anil Kumble along with my cricket playing would help me help a Kabaddi team and then who knows where this experience will take me. I am reminded of the movie Forrest Gump and eth famous dialogue of life being like a box of chocolates. Here look at this scene… its lovely and extremely philosophical.

Life is like a box of chocolates. Only thing is that you have learn from every chocolate you eat!

here.. one more bonus video!

teri ma ki...

The last week was a very tiring week. After many years I got a bad attack of tonsillitis. As a kid the tonsils have given me enough trouble. Come the monsoon and an attack of tonsils would be imminent amongst other illness. Then I remember I had an undertaken a long homeopathy course – six months I guess and my tonsils healed and I never got a bad attack from then on. I remember getting a little sore. I would then gargle with warm water mixed with Haldi and honey and then pop in a few capsules of septelin and a few paracetamols if required, but somehow manage and get to college. Reaching college was an important thing. Especially in TY. I remember this very well. I was tired of falling ill and I was the dam hobby centre secretary. I couldn’t fall ill. But I wasn’t feeling great. But I hung on and managed to stay in there and not fall completely ill. I think I was managing with a little fever but carrying on nevertheless.

But luckily tonsils and I stayed friends for a long time since then. Then last week tragedy struck… with a  vengeance. I had the worst attack of tonsils I have ever had… ever. Fever wouldn’t recede even on having paracetamol. Then our ayurvedic doctor advised us to go west. So we had to go to Jasmine’s aunt and get allopathy medicine. By the time we reached her maternity home, I had 104 degrees  fever when measured in the armpit – that meant it was more if measured from the inner mouth. Boy. I really wanted to see that 105 degree mark. All my child life, I have always wondered – what happends when you cross 104. We have never let that happen. That is serious shit. And the one time it was going to happen – I missed out on seeing it. I guess the right thing to do was to photograph it and put it on FB! 105 – what a freaking achievement. But I guess I was in no mood or had any energy left to do anything.

A few injections here and there and a dose of anti bitotics served with a  needle sticking in my right arm … and in a few minutes I was sweating and sleeping. I was gone….I slept for 12 hours straight. My first hospitalization. As a kid I always wanted to be hospitalized. I guess I was just a publicity seeker. Any which way. If my exploits in the school were not enough then I guess my weakness could get me some attention. But it took – 38 years to come and shit man. It sucks. Hospitals suck. I hate them. I need to get my hospital insurance bumped up to a 5 star room level so that if anything happens then I get access to some amazing rooms in some amazing place. Single room – sea view, large bathroom. It should be a hotel stay not a hospital stay. Heheh.

My boss had a heart issue a few years back and he told me later – that it’s important to protect your health first more than anything else. Because no matter what at the end – it’s you who is in the hospital bad, it’s you who has to stay there and it’s you who has to view the ceiling.  It’s obvious advice but it’s profound on many levels. No matter what you do for anyone for any job at the end when your health fails it’s you who has to face the consequences alone. You surely hurt those around you and they have to be in hospital with you. But the truth remains – you are alone and completely on your own on that bed looking at that ceiling.

One of the things that fatherhood, marriage and work has taught me. Actually rephrase that to age has taught me… I keep saying this to everyone – tu akela hai. Surely my daughter loves me. of course she does but she has a life of her own, she has to live it by herself, I can’t rely on her all the time. Same with my wife, same with my family or office colleagues. I may give them a lot and they probably owe me a lot and I too owe them, but you can’t call on these brownie points. In fact these brownie points are valuable because they are unused, not because they can be used. It’s funny – it’s like a little secret in a lock. Or like Schrodinger’s cat. Opening the box collapses the probability. Don’t look and don’t open. Let it be closed forever.

Unrelated – my Bluetooth profile name is ‘teri ma ki’. Like  a expletive… teri ma ki… So when I start my Bluetooth on my phone it displays teri maa ki. Yesterday Jispa just asked me – what does teri ma ki mean. Oops… nothing Jispa…. Its like a bad word, will explain later. Heheh. That was a fun moment.

And here is one bonus video of Schrodinger’s cat. I have been tossing that theory for almost everything these days. I love it and the way it keeps probabilities intact till it just opens the box and then… full bheja fry. These days I am using it to explain marketing these days!

how do you say ghyeun tak in French?

There is so much you can learn from people. Especially if the people who you meet come from different backgrounds than yours. There is a great cultural exchange and it leaves everybody much richer. I blogged about this some days back – when we got friendly with our French neighbor - Andy. She was this massive lady who was in India on a secondment and was with us for 6 months. We only got to know her in the last two months and got pretty friendly. She was sweet and she was open. Open to sharing and open to learning. When both collide it makes for a great conversation.

We had good fun moments along the way as well. I realized by talking to her how racist we can get. She spoke about how being a racist is frowned upon and in meetings it is a complete no no. I realized that one has to try and stop being a racist everywhere to be truly neutral. In one office meeting one guy very insensitively spoke about the M word. A lot of us if office are actually racist and see Muslims as different from ‘us’ all. They give into the hype and they are completely taken in by it. When I was much younger I have seen the Mumbai riots and I fell to the fallacy of us versus them. It took me many years to come out and tell myself and the world – screw you. Stop being a racist. I keep arguing that it’s not a religious issue but for many it’s a social issue. The marginalized take to crime and brotherhood as they probably have no other option. If they are given stability and opportunity, crime will automatically fall. In every city there is a pocket of crime and marginalization. The more we propagate the cliché the more it will stick. It becomes self-fulfilling prophesy. In meetings I see people talk loosely about it. In one meeting a senior person spoke disparagingly about Muslims. It was just after my many conversations with Andy where she spoke about ticking a colleague off for being racist. Inspired I ticked him off – I told him you are being a racist. The conversation ended. I think it’s a start. This will take time but people will have to realize not be so. There are different people in this world. Their culture may differ from yours. It is up to us to be sensitive to all of them. To embrace this difference and enjoy them. It’s tough at many times, but to accept and to enjoy the difference is the first step to growing up and learning.

I keep looking out for titles to watch with Jispa. I want her to expand her scope of films to enjoy. So I think about movies I watched as a kid and try to get her to enjoy them. One such movie was Escape through Victory. Almost everyone my age and above would remember this movie. It was a Doordarshan favorite. English movies would be played typically on Friday evening at around 10. This movie was about a POW camp in WW2. Here the POWs have a match with the German national team to prove to the Germans themselves about the Aryan supremacy. With Stallone as a goalie and Pele playing a role as well, the movie quickly achieved cult status when I was a kid. I remember Pele doing a bicycle kick to score. So when I saw it at the library I brought it home. We called Andy to watch it along with us. Andy hails from Lyon in France and it seems Lyon was the base for the underground resistance during the German occupation in WW2. Andy’s family was also involved and at some level a few were even captured and executed. So her perspective was very real and very vivid as compared to anything I might have heard or read before. About how after her grand mom’s death, they found a cupboard stacked full of sugar. She knew that in war Sugar will be heavily rationed, the spectre of the cold war always loomed. In the movie at the end, thanks to the brutal German play and the one sided referring, the crowd goes behind the POW team and they start singing. Thanks to Andy after all these years I understood the significance of the act. Andy started singing along with them. They started singing the French national Anthem.

Then Andy explained the anthem (La Marseillaise) to us. And wow what a rousing violent anthem it is. Here is one part:

Grab your weapons, citizens!
Form your batallions!
Let us march! Let us march!
May impure blood
Water our fields

No wonder you can sing it at a football pitch and expect the team to kill and maim. In contrast the Indian anthem plays on as an ode to peace brotherhood and harmony. Not that I have anything against it but it’s not what I want to play and listen and imbibe before a sports event. You would need a different song.

And immediately I was in charge of doing an anthem for the Puneri Paltan kabaddi team. My brief to the lyrists and composer was simple – the French national anthem. I want the people to feel the passion, the beat the lyrics must inspire to kill , to attack and to maim… no brother hood here.

An excerpt:

Kasske pakkad,
jamm ke jhappat,
Todun, modun, gheyun taak!

The song came out amazing and then I spoke to Andy about it and told her how she inspired me to do this song!

Once the video comes out, I will put it up.

But its fun to have learnt so much and already begun to apply it everywhere… that’s the fun of cultures crossing and meeting. And our elders, idiots that they are still insist on opposing cross cultural love marriages…

…

Full French anthem and the Puneri Paltan anthem as follows.

La Marseillaise

Let's go children of the fatherland,
The day of glory has arrived!
Against us tyranny's
Bloody flag is raised! (repeat)
In the countryside, do you hear
The roaring of these fierce soldiers?
They come right to our arms
To slit the throats of our sons, our friends!

Refrain

Grab your weapons, citizens!
Form your batallions!
Let us march! Let us march!
May impure blood
Water our fields!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This horde of slaves, traitors, plotting kings,
What do they want?
For whom these vile shackles,
These long-prepared irons? (repeat)
Frenchmen, for us, oh! what an insult!
What emotions that must excite!
It is us that they dare to consider
Returning to ancient slavery!

What! These foreign troops
Would make laws in our home!
What! These mercenary phalanxes
Would bring down our proud warriors! (repeat)
Good Lord! By chained hands
Our brows would bend beneath the yoke!
Vile despots would become
The masters of our fate!

Tremble, tyrants! and you, traitors,
The disgrace of all groups,
Tremble! Your parricidal plans
Will finally pay the price! (repeat)
Everyone is a soldier to fight you,
If they fall, our young heros,
France will make more,
Ready to battle you!

Frenchmen, as magnanimous warriors,
Bear or hold back your blows!
Spare these sad victims,
Regretfully arming against us. (repeat)
But not these bloodthirsty despots,
But not these accomplices of Bouillé,
All of these animals who, without pity,
Tear their mother's breast to pieces!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sacred love of France,
Lead, support our avenging arms!
Liberty, beloved Liberty,
Fight with your defenders! (repeat)
Under our flags, let victory
Hasten to your manly tones!
May your dying enemies
See your triumph and our glory!

Refrain

We will enter the pit
When our elders are no longer there;
There, we will find their dust
And the traces of their virtues. (repeat)
Much less eager to outlive them
Than to share their casket,
We will have the sublime pride
Of avenging them or following them!

Refrain

--

Puneri Paltan theme song

Eh kass ke pakkad,
jamm ke jhappat,
todun, phodun, gheyun taak!

Kabbadi kabbadi Kabbadi kabbadi (2)

Kab kab kab Kabbadi kabbadi
Kab kab kab Kabbadi kabbadi
Kab kab kab Kabbadi kabbadi

Eh Puneri Paltan aaliiiii (tutaari)

Arre chodenge na…
arre modenge ha…

Hey chodenge na…
arre modenge ha..
inn lakeeron se aagein hai apna jahaan (2)

Rokein humein,
aisa kissmein hai dum,
na bacchega koi,
mitti ki kassam…

Chyaa maaila gheyun tak!
eh sodu nakko!
ek phodun tak!

(Chorus)
Kasske pakkad,
jamm ke jhappat,
Todun, modun, gheyun taak! (3)

Aasma kar dekhle,
kiss mein kitna zor hain,
Chingaariyaan nahi,
hum bhaddakti aag hai!

Ragon mein daudti, (hey)
zidd jeet ki, (hey)
bas khel hi nahi
yeh mahayudh hai (2)

Chyaa maaila gheyun tak!
Kasske pakkad,
jamm ke jhappat,
Todun, modun, gheyun taak! (3)

Puneri Puneri Puneri Puneri (2)
eh majhi Puneri Paltan aali aali re (4)

Todun, modun, gheyun taak!

she is never a woman to me

Dam her. She is now grown up. A big girl. The way she reacts, the tantrums she throws, the big girl. I am suddenly realizing that the she is now grown up quite a bit. In the sense that now there is a certain sense of maturity that she exhibits that makes her different from the small tiny girl who I could all cuddle up. Sure girls remain girls in that sense that she still wants a hug at night before sleeping and she smells my night suit and says… yay… papa smell. So that’s still a relief. But man she is grown up.

She comes upto her mama’s ears and she can simply whisper something without Jasmine bending. She weighs a ton and I can no longer carry her. I can’t even pull her off the bed. It hurts the shoulders. She had power in her hands and when she and I play slap slap… I get hurt. The last few days I have realized that she is a big girl now.

Jasmine and me were telling her – how you are a big girl and now you need to behave like a big grown up. You have to sit right, cross your legs, no slouching and lying around. Sit on the table but don’t rest your head on your hand while eating. All the parenting is now focused on you are now grown up. Behave like that. Arrrggghhh.

But at the same time I am looking forward to talking to her. That is if she would like to talk to me. I look forward to long conversations on various topics. I look forward to being challenged. I want to get into arguments in which we will be forced to check the veracity of what the other is saying by checking the internet or some of the books that we have. That should be fun. As of now she adds a lot of value to conversations where I am trying to learn about stuff she did in school. Some of the stuff is pretty advanced for me. In fact I wonder why we teach so much to the kids. Most of what we learn is lost on most of the kids. But for the time being, it’s fun learning stuff.

Back to Jispa – Jispa if we don’t argue on some random irrelevant stuff to our life then I don’t think we are talking enough. Did you understand that? Here is one to a big showdown. But yes – after the showdown I expect a huge hug.

Here is a song for you…

football!

Oh man the football world cup is here. One of the things that I really miss by not having cable TV is the Football world cup.

I was in Dubai till I was about 8 years old. The national sport of the Emirates is Football. Of course we immigrants would be crazy about cricket but football was well promoted. And to add  - my brother was great at football and loved playing it. So football was an important sport. Then we came to India and we enrolled ourselves in Don Bosco. Being a catholic school run by priests – the favorite sport they played was – yes you guessed it – football. Football was seen as a more prestigious sport than cricket and the super stars were not the ones in the cricket team but the ones in the football team. This was in spite of the fact that the famous Indian cricketer Ravi Shastri was an aluminous of the school and had led the school to victory in the prestigious Giles shield. Cricket was meant for sissies.

I tried to get into the football team and I think just because I was the brother of a good player – the rector in charge took me in the B team. I practiced for a few days only to fall ill. It was monsoon and I would fall ill every monsoon and so I never did get to play serious football. Though I do think that I would have sucked at it. I liked to play defender and I would see myself charging at the ball and throwing myself at it. I liked to slide and tackle. The muck was so much that you just slide and even if you missed the ball completely and knocked the striker out, nobody really cared. The game was completely on who was ready to get muckier than the other.

So I never did get to play too much football even though I loved the sport. That was a really bad thing and so I naturally moved on to other sports and qualified for basketball. It was a weird reason that I moved to basketball. There was an essay that we had to write in the seventh standard on a sport and I was still hung over the “I grew up abroad thing” and I wrote about playing basketball and baseball, though I never did play the sport. And then… one day we wanted to field a team and a senior came to the classrooms asking or players. I put my hand up. We were called for trials and were taught a few basics of the game. After this they held a small trial where they asked us all to run up dribbling to the net and throw a ball. I remember mine going in for a basket. And boom – I was in the school team. After this we got some better training from one of the seniors who was a basketball fanatic and we improved. We had one guy from US in the school, one Indian whose parents tried to experiment with coming back. He was the only genuine player. I think his name was Sameer. The others were simply in and around him. We played on the full size court and then before the match, we were told that we would be playing on the smaller courts with smaller balls. Junior basketball. We played against the school called Ahmed Sailors they were the reigning champions and were rumored to field over age players. We lost our first game pretty bad. No one really did give us a chance. I don’t remember but we did get a few balls inside. We didn’t even know the rules completely. I remember getting a foul for taking too much time to throw the ball from outside and once for cutting the line while throwing in. It was a disaster!

But it was enough to fool myself that I am a basketball player and I lived that lie enough for the next few years to be amongst the better players around. Enough to be good enough for the interclass teams, which is also not a bad deal in a school that prides itself on sports. As far as football is in consideration – I must have played one or two interclass matches, as a defender. I think I was so bad that I would play in one half and then play in another. Pappu footballer.

My next stint with football was in intercorportae matches. As in cricket; its not about skill set but more to do with being young and energetic – basically fit enough to run around. Once while I was in Star TV I played one day for their team in a seven a side match. I quickly realized that the game. There was no offside. Which is a great game changer as far as football is considered. All you have to do is hang around the goal. In effect you need attack and then defense. You don’t need a midfield. Seven a side matches are played on smaller grounds and have kick ins from the outside line. We had one champion striker. So I rallied the team to ensure he gets the ball, from any angle. My role in the team was to kick the ball to him. I kept giving him high lobs for him to convert. We won our matches on the first day but my kicking style along with my bakwaas shoes ensured I was with a broken toe nail by the end of the day. So the next day I wasn’t there and we lost. From what I heard of the guys – I thought we lost on strategy more than anything else.

Other football matches I played in were other corporate matches. Again the only reason I might be taken in was because I was fit enough to run / kick. These used to be played during the monsoon and the grounds used to be full of muck. I used to keep falling all the time. You try and kick the ball and whoosh – you are staring at the sky.  It was a terrible ordeal. Till one day I decided to buy football studs. Then on my life improved dramatically, but I think I only played one tournament before my knee gave way and I don’t have the courage to play anymore.

Talking about football studs – my brother played in the school team and hence had studs. But that was another story altogether. In 1984/85 India was a ridiculously poor country and the football studs were made of wood. Yes. These were called wooden studs and were nailed to the shoes. If you were rich would you buy rubber studs.  My poor brother must have had quite an ordeal coming in from Dubai and then wearing wooden studs for the game. I think I have worn them on one occasion and yes – they were painful. Especially since the nails would pass through the insoles thanks to the extensive use. Many years later one sports salesman at a store told me that they looked like wood but were actually made of hard leather. Whatever. The nails were iron for sure.

So now I have a pair of studs in my cupboard that serve no real purpose. I don’t know what to do with them. I hate to throw them away but I know I will never be able to use them. Will have to throw them for sure. Sigh. And as far as the world cup is concerned. I will have to see the updates on google and figure. What else?

Just for the record – I have always loved the German football team.

a good proposition

One of the things the country is going gaga over is the current PM. Great. He does seem to be making all the right noises and is promising an administration that works. Only time will tell what will actually happen. In any case – my vote was going for his party for a very simple selfish reason. A few years ago, I came to the conclusion that all of them are equally bad, but at least the right winged BJP when in power started the amazing road project called the golden quadrilateral. Thanks to this at least we got some great arterial roads linking the country. When Jasmine and I bought our second home, we were completely short of cash and therefore we needed a vacation we resorted to driving holidays to save time. I used to always tell Jasmine to go on a driving holiday. For many years she steadfastly refused. But I guess the lure of saving so much money was too much to refuse and she agreed. Then we were hooked and we went to places as far as Hampi or Udaipur in our car for a vacation. So my vote was clear. I get my road and you get your vote.

This time the route of the Congress has been complete. With less than 50 seats they are not in a position to even be the head of the opposition. This has the supporters going gaga. Public memory is notoriously short. 10 years ago when congress won without a PM candidate everyone expected the Italian born Sonia to take the post. When she gave the mantle to the affable Manmohan Singh, people thought it’s a wonderful thing. He was the toast of the nation and everything he did was awesome and path breaking. Especially his honesty. His wife was interviewed and was asked about the rising cooking gas prices. She knew the price and was hopeful they don’t rise. The PM’s life was simple enough that his wife was hands on in the managing the household on simple budgets. Ten years hence the poor guy was pilloried in media and on jokes and was seen as an honest man but who couldn’t speak or say anything against the high command. Let’s see what Modi has to offer. Right now he is living the PR dream.

So coming back – everyone seems to enjoying the amazing mandate that the PM got. A complete destruction of the opposition. Now here is where I turn turncoat (is that a double negative) but yes, now I am lamenting the lack of an opposition. The joker in the pack in this election was the AAP party. Born out of an opposition to corruption, this party contested the Delhi assembly polls to come in with a slim mandate and became the ruling party. After that the media turned on him and he started doing the wrong things to be in the limelight. Possibly he was doing a great job on basic governance but his last stand was to sit in a dharna outside the parliament. The CM doing a dharna in his own state. That was kind of weird. He lost some support in his own backyard. Then he contested the National elections in 400+ seats only to win 4. He hardly even made a dent as a party spoiler.

All over the AAP was lampooned. Which is possibly a fait thing but still his value to the country as a mad crazy opposition was too valuable to loose. He seems governed by his own agenda. He seems to be anti everything, he seems to be directed by his own mad passion for opposing. He is the classical opposition and for a democracy to thrive we need him. So now I would love to be with him.

While browsing around – I came to this site www.prop4rev.com. A bunch of young film makers set out to document the opposition to corruption movement and ended up following and documenting the start of the AAP party. They didn’t realize the goldmine they were onto. And they shot a real load of footage. Post which they needed money for postproduction. Here is their video

Now I normally don’t open my purse strings for charity. I don’t even donate to any party. My charity is limited to those around me. In the past I used to give for some social cause but that too is something I have stopped. I rather help people I know, touch and feel. But this seemed too good and close to my heart to resist.

Young kids deciding to shoot an anti-corruption movement find themselves in a sea of revolution. A crazy bunch of committed individuals trying to change the country. Then they go online and decide to raise money. On the website they shoot a great video and make a compelling case. Then write some nice lines and put figures against which you can see what to get in addition to warm fuzzy feelings. I opened my kitty.

A few days later I get this email from them thanking me and telling me that they achieved their funding goal.

Dear Jaimit,

Thank you for contributing Rs.**  towards our initiative, Proposition for a Revolution. You have been one of the first few to participate, and we really appreciate your gesture.

Thanks to well-intentioned and generous people such as yourself, we have already raised over Rs. 12,00,000. As you might have seen on the website, that Rs.12,00,000 was our minimum target.However, this is only the beginning.  

This is what we need to complete an initial rough cut of the film.  After this, we will also need funds for other imperative post production costs, like sound design, music work, colour correction, etc., and eventually also for publicity towards release, outreach to cinema theaters across India, etc.  We truly feel that the film should reach out to as many people as possible.

Your contribution has helped towards making this happen. Thank you. We urge you to continue sharing the campaign, and supporting the initiative.  

Visit our website: www.prop4rev.com

Like us on: www.facebook.com/prop4rev

Follow us on: www.twitter.com/prop4rev

Subscribe to us on: www.youtube.com/prop4rev

This is also the beginning of a political dialogue in the country, wherein we can voice and put into action the change we wish to see around us.  We would like everyone to become part of this dialogue.

We will keep you updated with progress on the project over the next few months.  This is your project too, now.  

Best Wishes,

Khushboo and Vinay

---

Cute and nice. I must appreciate their effort. Well done.  Worth my pennies. They also very cleverly hid the fact that they need more money after post production in the appeal but slipped it in the emailer. Solid marketing buggas these kids have turned out to be. Nice job. A great proposition!

end it

Jasmine and I felt so dam cheated. We sat through 22 episodes of prison break and lost some sleep over it. We tried watching whenever we had time, catching even one episode if possible. My friend had given us the episodes. It started well and was gripping enough. Towards the end, all hell broke loose with characters dying left right centre and the plot getting out of control of the writers. It grew too big on them and suddenly they were facing Mount Meru and they wondered what to do. A victim of their own success they avoided simple clichés but then left it abrupt and hanging. In fact after it ended Jasmine and I were googling to know if 22 was indeed the last episode. It was so random.

A story is supposed to end right and this ending is crucial. I think many script writers or story tellers have met their grave in the endings. Even the great harry potter series built up brilliantly well only to end loose. Very few have been able to close it in a way that you see and say – oh shit. Awesome. That’s why you have saccharine  sweet endings. If you don’t know what to cook just make something sweet. When you don’t know what to gift – gift a chocolate. Sweet.

One interesting ending I remember and will probably stay in memory for a long time will be Parinda. The Movie had a great villain with Nana Patekar as Anna. He overshadowed everything in the movie. The two heroes were reduced to mere bystanders. But in the end the evil must end and who will destroy it. The hope was over when he killed the upholder of good (one brother). It was obviously left to the other … but how will the other destroy evil. He has to walk into the lair and be completely unarmed.  That Anna was to be destroyed is a given but poetic justice must be served and that will make or break the movie. It was a class act. Here is the ending, though I wonder if you will appreciate the ending if you haven’t seen the movie.

I remember I was kid when it was released. It made a huge impact. Soon after the release I was roaming around at my cousin’s place in Ghatkopar. We used to go there often. My cousins (they were my uncles) were young and were revered in the area. So being their nephews we were treated very well in the area. But they weren’t too well off. I remember a plan being made in the area to see the movie. The youngest uncle wanted to go. Then when the gang was going I shouted out to him – he told me that he wasn’t going. I asked why, it’s a nice movie. He replied that he wasn’t in the mood. The elder brother heard him and called out to him and then gave him the money to go. I guess it was money stopping him. Next time I met the younger uncle – he had shaved his head to a close crop and was roaming around in kurta pyjama a la Anna. He was completely mesmerized by the movie and the villain. It did not matter that villain died in the end – brutally – a death befitting his evil – but it was Anna all the way.

Endings are crucial. Most of the time it’s not what you do that people remember you by, it’s how you exit or end… that is critical. When it ends there is invariably a void, but a nice ending helps fill the void with better memories.

Take whatever you want from this as a life lesson :) bah.

explore

This is a ridiculously funny prank to be played on people. Imagine the frustration when you are stuck in a foreign land and you have to go to your room and the elevator starts talking to you and send you to another place altogether. Arggghhh. It’s so bloody irritating.

The last time I was abroad was I went to Sanghai. Luckily I wasn’t diagnosed as lactose intolerant before I went there or else I would have had the worst time of my life. If vegetarian isn’t enough in China being lactose intolerant would have completely killed me.

This was a guided tour along with a conference. We had a day of sightseeing. I normally hate that sightseeing and the whole shepherding in a bus but I also see no option for the organisers. So it’s best to carry on. But I hate the part where the take you to a tourist shopping destination designed to scam the tourist by showing them an “original “ place to buy something exotic. Something like a jade workshop or in this instance a pearl palace. I hate it. I always fight and wonder what the hell is going on. But most others seem to be happy to go and buy some ridiculous junk for their wives or girlfriends. So while the crowd went in, a few happy friends and I went out for a walk in the cold city. We kept roaming pretty aimlessly. I am always a sucker for new culture and new stuff but in china its always difficult to do anything new. We saw a juice bar and went there. There was almost nothing I could make out. So I just pointed out to something interesting that was being made for another customer. Now I don’t remember how I figured it was vegetarian but I finally had it – and it was warm lemon juice with one more interesting additive like a litchi or something. Wow. That was cool. I never knew warm sherbet was this fun.

Travelling anywhere is always a great thing. You have to go outside the confines of your city or routine and visit new places, do new things and learn more. You have to have plenty of exposure to stuff around you. Exposure is the key. You go out, you meet new people, you experience new things. That is life. There is post that’s gone viral on why travelling or having a gap year and seeing the world is a great thing and they give some 17 odd reasons. Hah! Sure. Travel is something jasmine and I discovered is critical for ourselves. At first we would wonder where to go and how to go and what to see. We would wonder and think about the places to go. We would ask someone for helping us make an itinery and places to stay etc. Till once we had to go on our own once. I think the first big one was directly Singapore. I had been there on an official tour and then had vowed to take the family there.

The stress was pretty high. I searched and researched and did a lot of stuff online. I was under severe stress on what to do and where all to go. Plus we had Jasmine’s mom and dad coming along with us. but that was a fun trip and then the next time we planned a vacation to Rajasthan using guide books /internet and some references. Post which we did kumaon and now we were truly hooked on. Searching online for stuff, searching guidebooks and internet for places to go to and places to see and search for undiscovered places or hang out popular tourist spots. We were truly independent. The journey was as interesting or I dare say as important as the destination.

The bug had truly bit us. Then like seasoned travelers we went with a little less research all the time. As in you know what you are going to do and the places you are going to see but you aren’t completely prepared. You are ready to take it on one day at a time. You see and wonder and take calls and think a bit while you are there. You miss a few you spend time at a few. From a fairly fixed route plan you allow for chaos and spontaneity. Then it gets all the more interesting.

Who needs 17 or 18 excuses to travel. You need only one EXPLORE and if that doesn’t excite you – nothing will.

the wall

Jispa had her swimming events this weekend. These are almost the finals of the year. They work hard through the year to go to this event. They compete to get in the top six of their events. Jispa’s age group is allowed to choose a max of four events in which they compete. The top six of the event gets to compete in the state meet which is being held at Nashik this year. Jispa is good enough to be selected for the state but she wouldn’t make it beyond that. Being a part of the Mumbai team is in itself an honour and hence this becomes the big event for the year.

Jispa has had a mixed year this time. She had a shoulder injury which threw her training schedule out of gear in December. Post her rehab her coach rejigged her schedule but she did miss out on a couple of seconds which she never did make up. Swimming is a complex sport in that way. You keep pushing and trying and improving strength and technique slowly slowly. You work and shave off your seconds. The events in which you compete also slowly change over the years, unless you are a born breaststroker and you simply go faster than anyone else in that one crazy stroke.

I have always wondered why there are so many events in the swimming championships. Its like having running races, but first you have the normal race, then having a race in which you run backwards, then having a race in which you can only hop, then a race where you can run only with your arms  going up and down like a bird… WTF – why do you need all these styles in swimming, when eth fastest is the free style – period. But hell. Breast stroke is a funny stroke, it takes the leats amount of power to stay afloat but here is where you get naturals and try harders. Some kids just naturally excel in this stroke and they effortlessly just go zoom. Jispa was a dead duck in this stroke. It was her worst stroke. She would excel in the butterfly but go very slow here. She even won a few back stroke medals. In fact at the start we thought she would be winning back stroke medals only. In the individual medley where you have to get all the strokes in the breast stroke we would wonder if had a parachute holding her back when it came to the breaststroke length. But this year dramatically things changed for her in the last one month. Her back stroke deteriorated and her breasts stroke improved. So much so that she flipped her events at the last minute. That was weird.

Coaching is such a technical thing. So many small small minute changes you need to do in your technique and your daily routine so that you keep improving. We are happy that Jispa got a sport that she takes so seriously. But it’s getting increasingly difficult to manage both, but we figure that later. So soming back – its nice to get a sport to push yourself in. But the thing is that he coach is a dork. I mean that he is a sweet simple well meaning guy who doesn’t push his kids too much but he also doesn’t know how to mentally push them. Jispa took part in the 200 m freestyle event and I was wondering what she is doing. She would go slow and fast and I thought she paced herself badly. That was the only event she didn’t qualify in. I spoke to her afterwards. What was she doing. She said she was conserving. Conserving in a 200 m race. These kids swim for 4kms at a  stretch. 200 is still a sprint. You push hard. The I spoke to her.

“You know Jispa what a wall is? You keep swimming faster and faster till you reach a wall. Then to break that wall you need to go really fast and put all your efforts. Now that is a 50 m sprint. You break the wall. If at all you want to conserve in a race like 200 – you keep swimming harder and harder till you reach the wall. You were nowhere near the wall, you were slower than your wall. This was you conserved more than what you needed to. You have to be near the wall at all times. You may choose not to break it before the last 50 but then not being near it is a crime.” Jispa nodded. She admitted that the wall was a little distance away. Then I told her in the IM – stay near the wall. Push yourself to be near wall at all times. Stay there, never the wall be too far from you. After the event she admitted that it was probably a good advice to get.

The wall – I think in all my sports I have always faced the wall.  It is the natural barrier that an athlete has towards his or her performance. He battles the wall every time. Most sports are you versus the wall. How close do you keep yourself to the wall and how much are you ready to risk to break it down. These walls move ahead thanks to practice and hard work and technique. But they will always be there – finally it is the mental edge in that lets you see the wall and break it down / or even simply follow it. In all that we do we must see the wall. The wall is it.

 Now isn’t the coach supposed to give this advice. But the coach is a happy middle class dork. This is something he will never understand. Understanding the psychology of your kids and seeing who can take what kind of advice is something alien to him. Understanding management techniques and having the ability to push the boundaries of his wards is what the coach is about. I guess I will have to be more involved in these things. I stay out of it. I don’t want too much clutter in her brain. I am not so ambitious, but now if she wants to swim on she is going make a lot of sacrifices. Then she needs to go beyond. She needs a mental edge and an ability to push herself. She needs to think clearly. The dork will not be enough. Chalo… more shit that I need to do.

Now listen to this unrelated song.

la la LLI

Many years ago I started teaching, I think it was in 2002 as Jispa was born around the time I had my first teaching assignment. That time it was a fun and unique experience. It’s remained as much fun since then. But at the time I did something weird. At the end of the class I sat with each student and spoke to them – one on one. And I explained to them what they were facing in life and what they needed to do to break out… or something like that. That was a crazy thing. That was the first time I realized that I could start talking about people’s life at will. One kid was amazed because what I told her was exactly what her mother used to tell her all the time. I hardly would have taken 7-8 sessions with them but yet I knew quite a lot.

I thought that was a cool party trick where I could at will talk about people’s life and amaze them with how much I can figure. We are probably not as transparent as it may seem. In office as I grow up I normally have to counsel kids and get them to improve and they are amazed with how much I can tell. People have asked me over the years, how is it that I know so much. How can I tell? Some find it creepy and some find it crazy. For me it was a simple logical deduction. I released that I notice much more than the average Joe on a lot of things. I don’t notice this consciously. It’s more on a sub conscious level. It is there in my mind, forming patterns and images. So much is stored and then pulled out at will to create a pattern. Sometimes in office, I catch someone and randomly ask – so what’s bothering you. Didn’t sleep well? Or like the HR chick the other day – I asked her randomly – why did you not pursue your medical studies? She was wondering how I knew she wanted to be a doctor.

These things look creepy to the one on the outside but are completely logical and probabilistic to one on the inside. It’s one connection to another. It’s just that I notice a lot. Then soon I realized that this is a crazy thing to have. Some people will try and suck as much out of you, like a monkey doing tricks and some will get scared. And I also realized that this is only probabilistic. It is not a determinate science. I only build on what I know and what people agree to show me. I can go wrong and horribly so if people mislead me. And that at the end of it, it’s better for my brains to simply stop thinking.

These deductions are crazy and it’s not that I can spot someone gaming me every time, so it’s not something I have amazing gift that I can see through people. It’s only that I can somewhere try and understand your motivations and character and a bit of what defined your life coming till here, there is future I can see. At best I can only help you make a few choices by pointing the right questions…. But again nothing what you don’t know yourself.

I believed that happened because I was good at understanding probabilities and patterns. I live very happy with probabilities. I don’t necessarily need perfectly determined outcomes and plans. Add to that the fact that I have a crazy curious mind. I love to keep poking around and keep asking questions. An almost insatiable appetite for knowing why.

There was another trait which I did not think was related but I realize now is – ADD. Attention deficit disorder. In meetings and in conversations in office I quickly understand what the point the guy is trying to make and I lose the plot. I zone out. I understood the issue and want to move on. This is seen as arrogance. The other guy so many times tries to convince me that he has more to say, but I say yes or no – and say – great got it. This puts people off completely.

Another bad side of this – I just can’t understand how you don’t get it. It’s simple – it’s there on the board to see for all. It’s like staring me in the face, I keep saying – what you guys did not get it yet? This is the pattern / this is the trick / this is the answer / this is how it’s done.

All of this is interconnected and I did not know till I watched a few episodes of prison break. They talk about a condition called LOW LATENT INHIBITION (LLI). While I am nowhere near the crazy genius they show, I did try and research the term. And while I was researching I kept reading about stuff that I thought is exactly what I go through in life.

Latent Inhibition allows you to go through with life without getting insane. You block out repeated stimuli. You don’t notice everything about everything again and again. But with LLI – every time you notice everything about everything and that helps you understand if there has been a small change in stuff around you and you can draw conclusion from it.

“With low latent inhibition, an individual almost treats familiar stimuli in the same manner as they would new stimuli. Think of the details you notice when you see something new for the first time and how it grabs your attention. From those details all kinds of questions may arise in your mind. “What is that, what does it do, why is it there, what does it mean, how can it be utilized” and so on. The more of those questions you are able to figure out or answer, the better your understanding of that stimulus. The better your understanding of that stimulus, the more logical connections you are able to make between that stimulus and others around it. With the use of human memory you are then able to remember which questions you’ve already answered in relation to a particular stimulus, and those answers may then result in more questions. Low latent inhibition will usually result in extremely accurate instincts due to the sheer level of thought, processing and logical connection that has been made previously when faced with a stimulus or multiple stimuli.

So in terms of what we might see, somebody you know who’s generally always worn glasses might approach you having bought a new pair of glasses that look almost exactly the same but for a slightly different logo on the side. You usually wouldn’t notice the change of logo because your brain has almost dismissed the minor details that go with the pair of glasses they wear as ‘unimportant’. It’s your brains way of ensuring that it doesn’t need to constantly process new stimuli that probably won’t have any significance or importance to it. Yes they might wear glasses, but so what? In this example we simply see the glasses then move on.

An example of how somebody with low latent inhibition may see the same scenario could be that they almost instantly notice the smallest changes that seeing the new pair of glasses presents to them via the observation of stimuli, which may then lead to connections being made that people with normal latent inhibition might not make. For example from seeing the new logo, somebody with a low latent inhibition might deduce that their friend had been shopping since the last time they saw them, if they had been shopping they might have also recently received their monthly salary which meant they were able to buy the glasses. Did the friend have some insecurity with the last pair of glasses? If the person with low latent inhibition also knows the surrounding area well (and knows where the stores are that sell new glasses), and they know when the last time they saw their friend wearing his old glasses was (2 days ago), they might be able to work out the exact locations their friend will have been to, and depending upon which food their friend likes, where their friend might have eaten, and depending upon what their friends interests are, which other stores they might have been to after having been paid and what kind of things they might have bought…all from a small change of logo on a pair of glasses.”

You can read more here  - http://www.lowlatentinhibition.org/what-is-lli/

So it very aptly explains what I go through in life. It’s funny.

Here is another accurate description of what goes on in my mind

“You notice more, hear more, smell more and feel more through tactile contact. Without any conscious effort, your mind is in possession of a broader intake of information.

Upon encountering any form of stimulus (that interests you), your mind automatically dismantles and explores its components.

You usually see through the lies and the deceptions that people use in everyday life.

When learning, you can often make instantaneous changes.

Self-correction is easy because the underlying principle is more evident. Clearer.

You make connections and associations between seemingly unrelated material.

Comprehension is typically easy. You notice the non-verbal background information and this often provides a more comprehensive picture than what is being spoken.

There are exponential leaps of insight taking place all the time, with the background reasoning intact. Wave-upon-wave of permutations, options, variables and choices.

Creativity is a given. You see alternatives.

You notice things that other people miss.

There is no talking voice in your head. No 'chattering monkey'. The volume and complexity of the information drowns out conscious thought entirely.

Verbalising what takes place in your mind is impossible. Words render only a fraction of the entirety.

You see the world more thoroughly.

Listening to other people talking/thinking aloud can be infuriating. They are at point A when you have reached point N already.

Learning is not limited to defined periods of academic study. The assimilation of information is constant, ongoing and never static. There are no lulls or pauses. Everything offers a lesson.

Within the maelstrom of information there exists a place of calm and quietude. The eye of the storm. No verbalisation exists. No internal narrative. Just presence. No sense of self to intrude of interrupt.

Cons-

Education is awkward. Schools are not set-up to cater with this disorder. The way in which things are approached by schools seems piecemeal and incomplete.

It is difficult to write/type/speak quickly enough to articulate ideas and the breadth of the permutations involved.

Tact is necessary. People lie constantly.

LLI makes driving a car difficult. Your brain notices countless dangers and variables, and you become overwhelmed and nervous.

Hypervigilance can lead to anxiety.

Illusions are not very effective. You see through things without wanting to. Conventions and traditions have no significance.

You do not value what other people value.

Filtering out the variables and honing your options to something workable can be very difficult. Every solution potentially harbours new problems, new variables and new concerns.

People may find you to be a little odd, unorthodox or a little intense.

You have a habit of saying things that do not fit the accepted norm of behaviour. You often choose to disregard conventions because they serve no constructive purpose.

Background noise is a major problem. Noisy neighbours can cause serious stress.

Noticing things does not mean that you understand them. If anything, the abundance of what might be known lessens the desire to accumulate widespread knowledge.”

It seems that if you have LLI and a low IQ you are likely go crazy. But a higher IQ leads to creativity. And I think that’s the reason I am seen as far more creative than the average Joe.

Reading this has made me far happier about myself. In the middle I was wondering what is it that I have. Why do I see patterns that others don’t, what the hell is going on? Am I crazy or is the world DUH? It is very frustrating. Now I see it as a simple mental construct that is different from another.

And also I am happy with what my initial response was – just don’t think so much about what you are thinking. Thoughts will keep coming, just chill out and don’t give them too much importance. So more than anything else – this has helped me in some way deal with the frustration around me. Hopefully it will make me calmer and less irritable. Less moody. Less volatile. Tough shit.