Look ma... Double Decker

Yesterday after a long time, I got an opportunity to sit right ahead on the top floor of the famous Bombay double-decker bus. Actually not that the opportunity is too hard to come by but generally sitting right up there in front is perfect for making your face an oily pollution trapper. Its monsoon time, the air is highly ionized and therefore the pollution is generally much lower. The air feels cleaner (yes – FEELS). So I got in and sat in front. It reminded me of the time when we were kids and we used to sit right up there with our head almost out and our mouths wide open with tongue sticking out. Luckily Bombay is not a largely bug flying zone. Pollution was not that big an issue as well 25 years ago. Sitting there brought back some interesting memories. Here is a faltu photo essay of the lovely journey

Waiting at the traffic signal. Amazing to get a top view!

Top deck perpective of the road ahead
The beautiful flora fountain contrating against the ugly top side of the bus
A ha - the bus number - the opposite perspective.
Such a small space and a double decker wanting to squeeze through. Will it succeed, will it knock over the bikes like dominoes.

Just... I like the Oval maidan that you can see

the greens that you miss from the ground floor but which you notice from the top

the actual view if you are seated with your back resting against the... well... backrest

the women coming out of the women's only bus that was ahead of us.

Men about to get off the magical journey and start their drudgery.

Random Photos

when you want to update your blog adn you dont have time to write ( i always have ideas though!) you just update the photos.

The book on parenting under the Adventure section. Hmmmmm.... crosswords trying to prove POINT.
A to Z on one shelf. Pretty Useful I assume. Crosswords again.
Jispa arranging her food and saying - look a butterfly. I loved doing that as well. I still love it.
Monsoon outside my home window from my humble cell phone 2 megapixel camera. SO next time someone sees a pretty photo and asks 'which camera'- answer them - 'does it matter?'
Jispa at play. I think she was playing teacher teacher.

BORED

I am normally sooo bored at pub parties. I must be really really bored to take these pictures from a colleague’s cell phone. SEE THE DEPTH OF FIELD :) (depth, ya sure, hahahhahahahah)

cheapo papa

I have been using air travel for the last four odd years now. I see a few parents wanting to buy something for their young ones from their travels. No it’s not a souvenir, its more like a bribe, or rather a guilt elevation program. I have no such guilt. Of course I rather stay at home but I have no guilt traveling. On time I did feel bad was when I received a message from Jasmine – “you broke the record this year. You were out of town for all three b’days and anniversary … Jasmine.” Ok Smarty pants that was nice and straight.

But I am not that bad a guy. When Jispa was around three, I used to get something for her from my travels. That was typically the 250 ml water bottle served on the flight! Wowwwww. Then I used to get her the Free tiny plastic spoon. Or sometimes the wet wipes. Boy am I cheap or am I cheap. But I guess it was good fun. I did not want her to get the “what did you get me” habit. So even if I did pick up some book or the other, I would be quiet about it. Then as she grew older I stopped getting her stuff. Recently I got her a bottle again. She looked at me and laughing said, “daddy, this is so useless. We have so many bottles.” Yeah yeah… I am sure. Then I got her the spoon. She laughed again. Then I reminded her about the fun she used to have as a kid with it. Jispa is now 5 and a half and now she goes all nostalgic and loves the spoon, when I get it.
This time while travelling, I thought I might click this stuff and showcase what a complete cheapo I am.



Life comes a full circle. Doesn’t it?

mobile blog

Just got myself a mobile phone with internet access device. Let me see how good I am. No excuses any more. Anywhere bloggoing! A little tedious for sure

me brutus?

Yesterday I had the great fortune of listening to a panel discussion on cricket. Amongst them was the coach of the team Tom Moody. It was a revelation. That guy was amazing. it is the insight that you get from his cricketing brain that is amazing. the entire panel on one side and Tom on the other. The others I came out impressed with are the Sri Lankans. They have imboibed with their interactions with the aussies the sense of discipline and clean thinking. Sangakkara and Jayawardena are clearly very very sharp guys. No doubt about it. Wow.

Another thing I came across while researching the phrase “et tu, brute” in the wikipedia:-
While the words are very emotionally moving as an expression of shock and betrayal towards Brutus, it has recently been argued that the phrase was instead uttered as a threat. Caesar is thought to have adapted the words of a Greek sentence which to the Romans had long since become proverbial. The complete phrase is said to have been "You too my son, will have a taste of power," of which Caesar only needed to invoke the opening words to foreshadow Brutus' own violent death, in response to his assassination.

The other day Jispa was having a nice long conversation with me on why she should be staying at her cousin’s place as opposed to coming with us for a play. Hmmm… she is like me. I can engage in conversation till eternity if I know I am correct at a fundamental level. Well she was correct but then I was not wrong on my stand so we had an infinite deadlock. Mommy really helps in these situations.

On Saturday evening we saw “khuda ke liye”. Nice movie. One of the story lines involves a dad doing something for her daughter that was obviously very wrong. But from the dad’s perspective it was very correct. (of course in the movie its an absurd unbelievable exaggeration) . The point is that as a dad I would take a decision that I believe is in the kids interest. But from the other perspective it could be so horribly wrong. There is no guarantee against this. Dads will always take decisions. I think the trick is to do a few things right – listen to your daughter’s point of view, think if you can live with it, see how bad it could get, know when to let go (and when not to). There.

It's all about the energy dude

Of all my jobs the one at Momentum Consulting was the most intense for me. It gave me soo much but also took a piece of my soul. I was there for only 9 months but it gave me a treasure tove of wisdom to last a lifetime. Today one can easily say that it shaped me and my thinking and will remain one of the bedrocks of whatever I manage to achieve. There I worked on the strategy for one of the most irritating large companies. It was a cement company by the name of FCC. (Actually if you substitute the F with the A you will get the real name. This is all done to avoid the idiots in the company who put google alerts). So FCC is the biggest dickhead of a company with a management that is allows politics and decision making steeped in bullshit. No wonder there are consultants hovering over the company at all points of time including M/s McK etc. There was so much thought in the strategy that we had presented. The whole place had negative energy and way to weigh down any person trying to do a good job. You get a fair idea on the guys by simply looking at them talk in office. If you notice in places there is no trust, the guys talk in hused voices, there will be closed doors and no coffee conversations on each others desks. You will see the shifty eyes. Yes don’t miss those shifty eyes constantly looking around to see if any body is listening. The guys turning back again and again to make sure. Man it sure is a piss off. I had a chance to go back to this place again yesterday. It took all my resolve and my patience to talk and understand. I can’t do consulting. I can’t do this shit for sure. I like to see consultants as evil vultures seen in Disney movies that hover around near dying animals waiting to feast of them. Of course there are genuine guys in the business as well and momentum was as genuine as it gets, but then that’s the issue. With a genuine intent and work ethic Momentum took more out of you and you really lost it when the company would not be able to uplift themselves over petty issues and run the strategy.
Going back there was to relive some of those awfull memories, those awful feelings. I would never want to step inside that office building ever …ever. I wonder how people work there day in and day out. The archaic furniture, the closed wooden cabins, the silently working staff, the reluctance to smile/laugh, I would just die out slowly but surely. Laughter – its so important in anything that you do. LAUGH, take yourself a little less serious and enjoy whatever you do. No matter what! I want to die laughing! heheheheh

random photos

summer time... Jispa's cousin coming over. burger is for dinner and i am the designer chef... i only do the designing
Chakram on the plate as well...
how rickety can a stool get... i wonder who gets to sit on this one...
just like that. thats the under constuction bandra worli sea link. I WAS THERE!!!!! putting this up on social networking sites might be a better idea than the ones in front of eiffel tower or the big ben. those photos are soooo wanna be. I dont think we have gotton over the 'i was there' syndrome.

silence

The most overrated skill in the world is oratory skill. I have no clue why people go gaga and reinforce this skill from childhood. We clap when the child speaks up, we clap when she goes on stage and speaks and we keep pushing them to speak. But the bigger skill is actually keeping quiet. So many people have so much opinion so little information. The more the opinionated the person clearly the lesser the knowledge he/she has. I was thinking today, that after reading quite a bit in the last few years, I have actually spoken less than I would have. In the face of knowledge, I keep quite, greedy to assimilate more and more. In the face of ignorance I keep quite, the quite confidence of knowing and of understanding the futility. There are more reasons to hold your tongue than to let it exercise. Yet we glorify speech. We must glorify silence. If you are smart, be quiet. If you are dumb even more reason to be quiet. But if you think you are smart and you open your mouth, then you are truly ……

Body language is also words. While we use body language some of us are conscious about it while the others are not so. Of course conscious is better than ignorance but here to the winner is the poker face. The ability to not use body language at all is a skill few posses. The silent assassin is the most effective one. Not showing your response in the short run can be the most power inducing strategy of all times.

aye wai

Running… I so love it. I love to run. And its even more fun in cities with tons of obstacles in your way. Who needs big time parkour training? Running to catch your bus is enough. The other day coming out of a movie hall, it was fun to run out between taxis, carts, people etc and dart towards McDonalds for Jispa’s burger. Today I ran fast enough to catch the bus. The best part is feeling nice while running because after a point you realize that you can easily catch the bus at 80% efficiency. I remember the last year when i twisted my knee. I was afraid that I might never be able to run that fast and crazy again.

Today morning was Jispa’s blood test. Man it sure hurts. She gets so pissed. She thinks we have no idea how hard it hurts her. She wanted a pin to poke us and show us how hard it hurts. But I had to keep talking to her after the syringe to get mind off the thing. I can really out talk her. Heheheheheheh. She finally forgot about the poke and there…good mood once again.

Five star food – some body decode this for me – is this veg/ non veg, what the hell is this?

100% attendance

Jispa got an award I never did get. An award for 100% attendance in school. Pretty cool I think. This award is dedicated to her and her mommy. I don’t think I played any part in it. If it were up to me I surely would have made her miss a few days of school for a silly thing like a vacation! But then Jispa loves going to school and her mommy also loves sending her so I am out voted 2 is to 1 and there, she wins the god dam award. Now next time it’s going to be impossible for any bunking!
I studied in Dubai till the 3rd standard post which we shifted to India. In Mumbai from the fourth standard the monsoon never did suit me. Every monsson I would down with tonsils or something or the other. I was quite a skinny kid in school. I remember never being short of power, I ran fast, I even qualified for the shot put finals once but just a kid that kept falling ill. I had chicken pox, jaundice, malaria and the works! Well that was life. That shit kept going right till the college ended. I was finally happy when a few monsoons went by without me on the sick parade. Wonder how I manage dot get through the NCC.

lessons from the Mahatma

Gandhi did two things. He made the British people aware that they were cruelly subjugating India, and he gave Indians the conviction that they could, by lifting their heads and straightening their spines, lift the yoke from their shoulders. After that, it was inevitable that Britain should someday refuse to rule India and that India should some day refuse to be ruled.
The British beat the Indians with batons and rifles butts. The Indians neither cringed nor complained nor retreated. That made England powerless and India invincible.

I have lifted the lines from the book “the life of Mahatma Gandhi’ by Louis fisher. The autobiography is a n amazing account of an even more amazing life. What a book. The book ranks high amongst the books that could change your life! Better than the screwball/ cornball philosophy that Paoulo or his ilk dish out. This book must be read as a part of a four part series, I think. The four being ‘freedom at midnight’, this one, ‘Satyagraha in South Africa’ and ‘My experiments with truth’. The last two being Gandhiji’s own.
Its amazing how we learnt the history of independence and about Gandhi’s life without really understanding it. No history teacher could teach us his life, history, passion and ideals. We learnt little, understood nothing. Another line I read somewhere - Those who don’t learn from history are condemmed to repeat it.
While reading the books I think of two movies. One of course is Gandhi by Richard Attenbourogh, and the other funnily enough is lage raho Munnabhai. The first brilliantly portrays his life and second one is exactly what one goes through after reading a lot of his works and understanding his life. It cannot but move, it cannot but plant a seed of change in you and it cannot but force you to think.
I have always believed that every book gives you one key message. That’s all. One key message. One cannot hope to understand more than that. The key message from this book is- ‘supreme clarity of thought’. It is amazing how one man with supreme clarity of thought can accomplish so much. Wow.
I remember in school days I had a big debate on non violence v/s violence with dad. He got me convinced on non violence. This was in 9th standard. I used the argument to write a much appreciated debate speech on the same topic. There is a big reason why I never got to make the speech in public, but then that’s another blog. If Jispa ever has the debate topic, she definitely knows the books to refer to!

Doodler's delight

I have been doodling rather than writing these days. I suddenly realized that my doodling is pretty decent. Now I remember that I was always pretty decent at this stuff but was really bad at the realistic kind of drawing.
So here you are – the adventures of chakram – http://funnychakram.blogspot.com . The product of my doodling. I love these a lot, and I want to do 30 of them, print a book and give to Jispa. As of now, I have done 18. Will have to manage many more.

Bingo was her name - o

While going to the bus stop every morning we have befriended a dog that Jispa has christened ‘cute cute bingo’. This is the one that she plays with everyday and we get glucose biscuits for.
She likes cute cute bingo as she lets Jispa play with her, hug he, massage her ears etc. also she is very stable and does not lick around. She merely comes close and smells. Jispa likes that a lot.
Here they are – two peas in a pod

Here she is playing in the morning at the public bus stop next her bus stop.

logical conversations

Today morning Jispa and me were off to her bus stop in a taxi. Suddenly Jispa tells me that the taxi’s ears are near the steering wheel. ‘taxi ears?’ I ask. ‘Ya, they are near the steering wheel, see’. ‘Huh? Where are the ears?’ ‘not ears, GEARS’. ‘oh those, yup. They are near the steering wheel.’ Me continuing with bewildered expression. ‘Who told you that’? ‘I was seeing that the taxi has no gears down. But how can a car be without gears, it must have gears. But I cannot see them. Then I saw him moving that up and down so those are the gears’. Ok now I am impressed. She figured out the hand gears. Hmmm. She is quite the analytical types. I think I have said this before, I like her train of thought. She has a clear logical thought processing centre. Most of the times I like ot ask her how she knows and from where she learnt. It’s quite funny. She knows from where she picked what up. It’s either a show of her memory or a show of her logical skills. It is my most favorite time pass. She is a delight to talk to. Every morning it’s absolutely amazing to have conversations with her.

bumbai ki taxi

Taxi's in Mumbai are quite wierd. Here is one taxi. I have photograhed the interiors.
The switch on his steering is the horn!
Taxi's used to hang CD's as a fad; this guy - well take a close look - has a cut out of a - aaaa... a motherboard?!!??
the ceiling of his taxi has an interesting saying - wife is knife, will cut your life
this is the image right above the passenger seat. hmmm.. kinda goes well with the earlier saying.
this is not the same taxi but another one. he has obviously kept a photo of his 'wife' in his wallet.

Happy Sad, Sad Happy

There are happy people and there are sad people. happy people remain happy and sad people remain sad. Happy people find happiness in all that they do, sad people find sadness in their work. Happy people can’t be sad and sad people can’t be happy. You cannot make happy people come out of happiness for long and you can’t make a sad person come out of sadness for long. They go back to their destined status of happiness or sadness. You cannot change their nature. Try to make happy people sad and sad people happy is guaranteed to make you sad. So if you are a sad person go ahead do it. If you are a happy person – avoid it. But if you are a happy person you can’t see a person sad so you will try to do it and if you are a sad person then you will automatically spread sadness but then happy people will soon avoid you. Everyone reaches true nature fast. Of course true nature is not always extremes but yes you care broadly on the right or on the left and typically the polarities exist pretty predominantly. So there, the secret to happiness or sadness (whatever you are is no relation to what you desire) is there within you. So do not seek happiness. If you are happy, you will be happy; if you are the sad types then you will be sad. Recognizing your true self will give you less conflict. The problem is when you try to be something else or when you try to make someone something else. People will feel uncomfortable with their fake self and reach their equilibrium fast. Understand that, understand yours. Live your life!

like father like daughter - speed

This blog is going to become more about me than my daughter. Heheheh.. (evil snigger).
On Saturday was Jispa’s school sports day. She was quite excited about it. Everybody expected her to win; she kept winning in all the trials leading to the day. I am firm that I do not want any burden of expectation on her while sets off for her race. The last thing she wants is for us to say – win win win… so I did not even give her a ‘best of luck’ wish. Go perform and leave the rest to… well…. to rest. To cut short – she won, by a mile. What I liked that when I saw her run, is her technique. Lots of kids were running but she ran well balanced and in control. She is fast. You realize only when you see her next to her age group. Post that race was the parent’s race. I so wanted to win this one. The burden of expectations I wittingly put on myself. But I wanted to test my speed against the others there are. The race started and I started running. It was a 70 meter race and soon I realized that it does require too much effort. I was winning by a mile as well. I slowed up and completed without so much as breathing hard. I guess it’s not so much my fitness but the others lack of. I saw the other fathers with all well toned gym bodies but it seems no speed. I guess the burst of speed required for a short run is different from the muscle mass built. But I sure loved the win. The buzz (in my head of course) did not subside till Sunday.

I liked it when the other parents were saying – now we know where Jispa gets her speed from.

I am more excited about winning my self than about Jispa winning. That’s because of the quiet confidence that I had in Jispa winning. I was pretty sure she would win. It was like an expected result. But me winning was not expected by me. So I guess it’s not megalomania but more of faith in Jispa. It seems that I have nicely put it and deflected the accusation. But I am quite convinced about it! :)

We saw Taare Zammen par a second time. Jispa continues to amaze us with her razor sharp memory. She remembered a few scenes and quickly predicted what next. Very very quickly.

here is jispa sleeping with chocolate brownie and pooh bear

PTM's a breeze with a star

Friday was parents teachers meeting at Jippy’s school. Jispa is quite a good girl and obedient. She is also fairly ahead of the class in most activities. We listen to stories of her being the star of the class etc. well I guess it’s a good thing. Let’s see how she grows up. Kids have a habit of short circuiting by the time they graduate.
They have a board on which the parents have to write some notes for their kid and last time around we wrote something funny. this time around I decided to get even more funnier. I wrote some rhyming stuff about silly billy rumpa killy. Jispa told me that the teacher read out all the notes in class and then at the last she read her note again. I have this knack of writing utter nonsense and getting away with it in the name of irreverence. But I like the fact that Jispa is getting exposed to different sorts of humour. Her entire class enjoyed it, it seems. Way to go. Now I feel proud. I am a self conceited arrogant ass. All that star kid thing is nothing compared to this!

Jispa has been eating carrots everyday – reason – her teacher told her that eating carrots gives you sparkling eyes. She didn’t like them before. Now also she cant finish them all but that does not stop her from attacking a carrot every morning and then feeding the last half to us.

Check it out…


We told her teachers about chakram. Now I draw her, a chakram on her hand before she goes to school. She loves it! This is the same chakram whose adventures are drawn on our walls.

random random

This shit is becoming a routine. Every day I come in to office early and the take an interview. I need people and since I come in early I get them in early as well. This leaves me little time for my blog. This blog is something that I cherish so much. Hopefully it becomes a body of work over a large period of time. I guess the trick is to dedicatedly write something or the other. Jispa is of course the most important part of the blog. I doubt if I could have written if not for Jispa.
One other interview was happening and the dame casually mentioned that she blogged. Now we wanted her to show some of the work that she wrote. I just googled her and got to her blog site and submitted that to the boss to evaluate. She passed! Great. But then she got engaged to be married in Delhi so she could not get the job. But goes to show how far a blog can go. There are tons of privacy issues as well. God knows how all read my blog. Who knows who will read and psychoanalyze my blog to figure out what an ass I am? Well as of now I don’t care. I can always turn it off from the Google crawlers and there you are - privacy resumed.
This piece is also written over a couple of sittings. Obviously between interviews. The balance of power has shifted from the interviewer to the interviewee. They don’t even get their CV’s printed these days. But I don’t blame them. I don’t remember the last time I printed my CV. I hardly made my CV since a long time. That’s what you get for being happy and content. Shit will hit you and you won’t expect it!

I redecorated the desk. Jispa was my interior decorator.

47 at 32

47 runs off 37 balls including 1 six and five fours. Not bad after being sent one down since no body else wanted to go up. I reached the crease in the first over itself with the ball swinging around off. I was struggling to even connect the ball leave alone get off the mark. It took me a tedious 6 balls. This is almost an eon in a twenty over match. But I hung in. I realized that I as I play more, I think more and that has actually helped improve my game. Now days my mantra is simple if it comes in play straight and if any ball is wide, hit hard. That works well in the start when you are not sighting the ball too much and the ball is swinging around a bit. I hung in there, a couple of fours and a few singles and twos and I was well on course. After I played my self in the runs began to come in much better. Keep the head down and concentrate on the ball. Then I realized another thing that guruji Arun spoke about – bat speed. I concentrated bit on that as we need to accelerate the scoring and well the shots began flowing. Every season I learn something new. The must be learning good as the scores as definitely improving!

How the hell did humans invent this game with such a hard ball? One shot took an inside edge and whacked into my inner thigh. Wow. That hurt. Right now it’s a red blue, purple patch that is so bloody scary to look at. I have also learnt not to show too much pain on the field. Take that in your stride and face the next ball. I was also lucky to get a run off that ball so that I could relax a bit before I took strike again. I remember Arun telling me not to show pain. I also remember Sachin getting hit by Brett Lee and not even flinching. So that’s that. I can only tell you that the ball is really hard and it hurts like hell.

I am filing this from Indian School of Business campus, where I am here for a training program. Leading teams for high performance. I am generally a cynic of this but I guess like any good book, if I can learn one good thing, just one, then it’s well worth the effort. This is the first three day training that I am attending. The one day ones have been quite boring so far, quite useless as well. Will let you guys know if it was worth it!

Wilderness in the city

My daughter is going to be demented and I am sure it’s my fault. We have a lot of fun everyday in the morning while dropping her off to work. We have made friends with two dogs already. One is called two biscuits but does not eat any biscuits; the other one is called bingo. Bingo is the name of any dog that we see. We keep saying ‘hi bingo’ to every dog we see and ‘hi jojo’ for every bovine creature. This started in Jaisalmer where there were tons of them around, lots and lots of all kinds of cows. Now also on the way to the bus stop we take a short cut through a not so happening area. On one corner there is a garbage dump. So we can see tons of jojos, bingos and absolutely fantastic kites. In fact just yesterday I saw a kite swoop down and pick up what looked like a rat in its claws and fly away. Really brilliant. Garbage in the city is the only way we can see wild life I guess. We also enjoyed seeing these kite fly around in Jaisalmer from the roof tops. Such magnificent birds.

Well in any case here is she imitating me in the morning. I first put it on my head since she was reluctant to wear it, then she decided to do it herself. I tell you Jispa, if you someday wonder where you get your irreverence from – the answer is definitely not your mom.

It was nice playing the intra dividision tournament on Sunday at Matunga Gym. Man I feel like a demi-god in fitness. I run faster than any one else and I definitely play better than most others. And thanks to the boss Arun Solanki, I understand the game better than any one else. One idiot tried to sledge me and said stuff after I got out. I mean what’s the point of sledging after someone is out. You sledge to get me out and after mission is accomplished its end of the story. You shut up. So this idiot was fielding after wards and he misfielded and let a few go. I let him hear a few comments. It made him look such an idiot. Sledge smart you idiot. Never lose sight of your brains. NEVER.

Its the love of the game

It’s getting a little difficult to get inspiration to update the blog. I really don’t want to write crap though arguably my entire blog could one big pile of junk. I just picked up ‘the motorcycle diaries’ written by Che Guevara before he was CHE Guevara. His achievements in his life post the motorcycle diaries make the motorcycle diaries what it is today. I have no such delusions about my blog but I still like to think of it a little like that. A little romanticism never hurt anybody.
I try and play Squash regularly and realize what age does to instincts. It’s quite tough to play that hard and fast. Playing the coach is sure fun. He does play a power game and tries to ensure that the game is good fun for both. I am sure he can finish the game in 20 seconds. But three games with him last half an hour at the minimum. The third game is sheer murder for me. He does play a single power shot but just keeps the ball in play and places it across the court. Woa! Its complete murder running cross court.
Yesterday he was not in and I tried playing and practicing on my own for some time till two gentlemen came in. One fat guy and the other an old man. I find it extremely annoying to see in that matunga gym has very few patrons who actually smile. I mean the guys there are playing sports for god sake. Smile, acknowledge the people, the competitor, have fun. I think they see any one as one more guy trying to use up the limited resources. It’s such a fucking pain. But hell, I think that’s the psychographic profile of the guys who go to gymkhanas. I have become big, I am a rich and I have a club membership. This Sunday there is the inter department cricket tournament and I am playing cricket for the squash team. Lets see how people compete and how they make friends.
But coming back to the point, the fat man and the other man wait outside. I call them in for the game. They obviously want to play only with each other, but since I am in they have to play two matches with me before they shoo me off. They cant move for shit, but hit the ball very hard and very fast. Only fore hand no back hand. The serves are so fast I can’t see them. I now realize that I have a long way to go. A really looooong way to go before I see the ball. The coach has been feeding me soft balls. Hehehehehhehe. He is just giving me a workout I guess. But I am much better than I was before and I am definitely going to get there. God and knee willing! Amen.

vacations

Just back from a fantastical vacation of Jodhpur and Jaislamer. A lovely magical place and truly the best part of Rajasthan. The lonely planet has been a valuable guide for us wherever we go. It has helped me in every country and city that I have been as a tourist. Even here it told of the bets place to visit and eat. I fell that the lonely planet must be given the Nobel peace prize for ensuring peace and sanity for tourists while traveling. I wonder why Indians don’t read so much and carry enough material while traveling. I think we just bloody want to leave the trip to the holiday tour organizers whose headache it is to figure the entire thing. And of course ensure that you get good gujju fried food everywhere.
Jaisalmer is one place where I got to eat the most amazing authentic pizzas and some delicious soup. I will remember Jaisalmer and Leh as the two places to go and eat pizzas!

Vacationing with Jispa is quite fun. She is quite a decent traveler and is a generally happy kid. She plays on her own a lot is quite content to be fooling around with her activity books, colors and a white piece of paper. But she also gets to you when she wants you to play. We put her to sleep in the middle bunker and I sleep on the top one. Early morning she woke up and climbed onto my bunker and whacked me on my bum. ‘Wake Up Papa’. Huh!. ‘I got up and I saw its morning so I got up’ ya, its morning alright. Go to sleep. ‘nooooo’. Bloody hell. No one wakes up at 7 in the morning in a train, man. But all said and done train journeys are brilliant with family. Though I sometimes miss the travel in normal sleeper that we did as kids. Now it’s a minimum of three tier A/C. it’s easier to travel without carrying all the bedding. Also the normal sleepers have become really really dirty dusty and ugly. I guess in a trade up mode economy, the people have to seemed to have all moved up but the sanitation seems to have remained bad. I don’t mind traveling with friends in a rag tag sleeper but with family it’s a nice stress free environment that one prefers. Also as one travels northward the trains get dirtier and the crowd quite sad. Lets see how the train journeys to down south might be?

When one goes visiting historical places one realizes the value of reading the Amar Chitra Katha’s when pone was young. Thanks to those I still remember and recollect a lot of the stories that I read. It’s an invaluable learning experience. I have to go and get all the possible ACK’s that were ever printed. Let me try and see how I get my hinds on the entire collection. I have already bought the entire ACK’s Mahabharata. Forget Jispa, I will enjoy reading them all over again.

your momma always told you to cover your books with brown paper - now you know why

Reading a book is not so easy anymore. I just finished reading ‘The Islamist’ by Ed Hussein. While going to play squash I get off at Matunga station. The only way to get off that train is to stand by the doorway from the first itself. I read till Parel and then it’s impossible to read thanks to the crowd. I just stuff the book into my waist and wait two stops till Matunga.
One day a guy saw the cover and asked me about Ed Hussein. I told him it’s the author of the book. He then asked me my name. Now any one in Mumbai knows that some one asking you your name in a conversation is mostly trying to get your religion. He then asked if I was Hindu. How do I tell him that I am a Pantheist, but whatever, ok. so, carry on… I ask him his name. ‘Mohammad’. He then asks what the book is about – he reads the words ‘The Islamist’. He can read English but I am not sure if he can understand the spoken word. So I try to explain the premise of the book. I explain in Hindi that author is a religious person in England who was an Islamist but then went back to practicing Islam without being an Islamist. Or whatever. It was difficult to explain in Hindi. He then asked me if the name of the prophet is in the book. I am like ‘ya, I think so’. This getting potentially dangerous. He then tells me that, if so, I must not carry the book like that. Oops. I take it out. Hold it respectfully. I tell him thank you. It’s good that you tell me. We do not understand. We are only trying to understand. He gives me advice like – nothing will come off by standing in front of a stone and praying. I say yup, thank you thank you. We learn by listening to others. Reading is not enough. Thank you. Station arrives, I get off. Bye. Whew. That was close.
Ed if you are reading this – what on earth was that?
On the book. I loved it. It began ok, I lost it in the middle, but it ended powerful. Left an impact in my mind. I understood much more, I know much more now. Good, recommended read. Read it, but be careful in the local trains.

pain and the great escape

I never imagined that I would be typing so much in my life. I thought I would be doomed to live my life with my ugly handwriting and would have difficulty progressing in life. Well life sure has changed. I write a lot but I hardly life a pen! Qwerty is so much a part of my life! My thumb is injured. I have no clue how or when but the nail seems to be affected and its quite painful. I can barely hold the pen and write well but it has not affected my work majorly. Just an odd angle in which the thumb presses the space bar.

Yesterday I missed getting caught by the skin of my teeth. These days I have been going to play squash. For that I have to get to Matunga station. That’s not on my normal line and therefore I require tickets. I have bought the tickets before hand and I have to punch in the valid fares before getting on. For some reason I though the amount was 4 bucks and I have been punching the same for a few days. Yesterday the TC caught me and pointed out that the fare is 6 bucks. It 4 bucks to Dadar and Matunga is one station further. Ok. “You have to pay the fine”; oh come on “an honest mistake by and honest citizen” its not as if I am trying to dodge fare. Nothing doing, he marches me to the office to get me to pay the differential. Then suddenly lightning strikes, “what’s the fare from Masjid” Four, he says. Great. Then here is my pass that goes from VT to Vadala. This includes the common journey from VT to Masjid. So the ticket I punched becomes a journey extension ticket from Masjid to Matunga, which is 4 bucks so I am home and dry. Wah wah.. I was impressed by myself. He took a little while to digest it. He didn’t like but, the law is on my side. “be careful next time’ he says. ‘Thank you Bye Bye’, you dickhead I think in my mind.

Adventures of Chakram

While Jispa was getting to draw on the wall I was feeling left out I think. So I started painting the adventures of Chakram. Have a look:-

Jispa really found this one funny:-


The wordings go something like this:-

Chakram:-
I am never afraid
I run fast
I jump high
I am strong
I fight hard

Big bully:- FIGHT

Chakram:- Good that I run fast

The second one has the wordings quite legible in the photograph. This one was insipred by Jispa talking about her school students.

enriched by talking

How does a multi billionaire get to his hotel after exiting Heathrow airport? Well, like all of us he stands in a line and takes a black cab.

I have been intending to write this piece for quite some time now. I have been a big fan of our vice chairman and promoter. I think he is a very level headed sweet guy. The reason I don’t write his name is thanks to the billion guys in office who must be putting blog alerts on his name. But it’s a simple one – he owns the place I work. So here’s the piece.

I am getting off at Heathrow and am standing in the immigration line. He walks up behind. A couple of guys between us. I say hi and walk up to him. We know each other well. We generally start off talking. We both are having a relaxed conversation. Its obviously not a formal ‘in office’ conversation but a relaxed, waiting in the queue conversation. Always better this way. We generally chat up about work. My thing is that I can’t just give out blatant lies. He asks me how am I doing and am I enjoying and so on. I told him, that our company sucks at marketing and its quite a pain to be in marketing while we fight for our understanding and respectability all the time. But the reason I am working with him is that I love the company. I love the way we work. No stress, zero politics, cool happy working environment and a lot of freedom to do what you want to. He asked about my back ground. I told him about the zillion jobs that I have changed. We were talking about how my kids fight out with sales all the time and the frustration that they encounter. That time he said “Jaimit, tane khabhar che. Te ghat ghat nu pani pidhu che ekle”. That felt nice. All that job hopping viewed in a positive light. But it truly is a positive thingie. Not that I advise it too much for others though.
While we were talking I generally asked him where he was staying and how far was it from my hotel. He said “should be around 5 minutes, why?” Now this thing had been on my mind for some time now. I was told that a cab would cost 60 pounds from the airport that 4800 rupees. That’s way too much to pay even if it was company expense. So I told him as much and told him I was hoping for a ride with him and it could save us some money. In hindsight I some times think that I actually spoke about saving 60 pounds to a guy worth 5 billion dollars at last count. Well… he kinda liked the idea and gave me a lift. We wondered if it made sense to get dropped off at his hotel and take a cab, when I figured that it was best (economically) for me to drop him off and take the cab further to my hotel. We hailed a cab accordingly.

It’s around less than an hour to the city centre. It was one of the best conversations I have ever had, we spoke about work, vision, marketing (we both abhor mass media). When he realized that I was in London for the first time, he took on the role of a guide talking me about the various places on the way and the fun that I should have on the weekend that I was there. He asked me if I had enough money, I kind of vaguely said ‘just enough’. I normally carry less exchange but use the debit / credit cards often enough. He removed his wallet and handed me all the pounds he had in there. There were only about 20. Rest he was carrying euros. “rakh, kaam aavse” I did not know what to tell him. what do you do when your uncle gives you cash? Meekly take it. Mid way into another conversation in the cab he suddenly remembers something and opens his briefcase. He removes a cover and there sure enough – more pounds. He gives me 40 more and says “well, that takes care of you cab at least”. I was like ya, but I have some….. “rakh rakh, kaam aavse”. He insisted that I take something from London for my wife since it’s my first time there. There were so many things we spoke about (kids, parents, growing up, politics etc) but the undercurrent was clear – I was having a conversation with my uncle not my boss. An uncle who is not your dad’s age but more like the uncles that are the youngest in the family and therefore much more clued onto your lives. Dam cool. This will stay with me for a long long time.

I always admired the guy, but now I love him. I hope it remains that way. Amen.

Here is a photo I once took of him. I like it. It’s not your standard boring portrait.

Give me logic, take away the rest

You normally don’t pangas with Jispa. She has a memory of an elephant. She remembers stuff from two years back. Well she is growing, and with my patience to keep arguing till logic prevails and memory to back it, she is quite the potent combination that can drive the non logic fighters away.
While I was in Igatpuri with my sister, my sis was talking about my legendary ability to argue with parents. Actually I remember it very clearly. I would only argue if I did not see logic for doing something or being told about something. If I knew I was wrong, my arguments would not be long (nor not even argue), but you can’t give me bullshit explanations and get away with it. Give me logic and I will listen. Also be consistent with logic. The logic can’t keep changing with the tasks and at your whims and fancies. So it was not like I was arguing, it was simply your logic which went awry.
Jispa is like that. Give her proper logical answers. Keep logic consistent and for heaven sake don’t patronize. She has a mind, respect it. That’s what I try to do most of the time. She absorbs much better than we expect her to.
Today morning, she generally asked what the date was. My watch said 3rd, and jasmine also thought it was the 3rd. Jispa disagreed and said 4th. I said ‘no it’s the 3rd’ she stuck to her 4th. Jasmine said “we believe it’s the 3rd, if you want you belive it’s the 4th”. I have over the last 5 years learnt not to take a conversation with Jispa lightly, especially when she sticks to her point of view. So I said “hang on. Let me check my cell phone.” Sure enough. It was the 4th. “Yup Jispa, you are right. It is the 4th”
The other day we got a letter from her school inviting us for school annual function. I was teasing her that the letter said ‘don’t come, Jispa has been a naughty girl’. She came back from school and told me that she asked her teacher about the letter and her teacher said that “ the letter said that Jispa is a star kid so come to see the concert”. Hmmm. She remembers, clarifies and then confronts. Hehehehehe. It was quite funny.
I lose and this is not the going to be the last time.

zen in squash and conversation

Well the first day of squash was fun. I love the way different games have wildly different techniques. I kept slicing the racket on top of the ball and ball kept hitting low. It was fun. I think after my first bits of knocking the ball around, I got a sense of how the ball moves. It was also a little funny trying not to be too wristy which is a fantastic thing in cricket and I love using it there. Backhand was even tougher. I can’t believe I missed the ball completely at times. Just an air swing. Oh god that was bad. Was someone watching? Well there was a pro sitting behind me. I just looked and smiled at him and he smiled back. Then I realized that one has to time the ball. I remembered my cricket and also the one time I learnt golf. Its timing the ball. So I just waited as the ball bounced and that split second where I could see it stationery and thapack…. Now that’s nice. Good shot. At least it went forward. Now as I write I remember the amazing book (May all time favorite), Zen in the art of Archery. I remember portions of it and it has helped me in cricket. I was applying similar principals yesterday as well without realizing. Hmm interesting how it has become a part of my consciousness. Now to reread the same after a bit of practice. But I just love that book. It is absolutely amazing.

Another thing I realized yesterday. I was meeting an old friend of mine. She used to work for me long time back but now she is working elsewhere. She has a very high EQ and is a sharp chick (now lady). We talk les often but when we do, it rarely small talk. Its about life, about other stuff. I realized one thing is that I am supremely bored by small talk. Ya, I seem to be having fun at parties cracking really stupid PJ’s but I hate getting into small, random talk which leads nowhere. I hate getting drawn into those conversations. Man now I know why I hate parties, marriages and the types. They are soo bloody boring. I hate it. If we must talk it should either be complete fun or oscillate to the other side. These in betweens are so fucking boring.

Eeeps. I have to control abuse in office. I don’t like it. Will try to get it off my vocab. Am trying!

Random:- picture of breakfast at my hotel in Geneva. Full style! Muesli, berries and bread with 'designer butter'

all fun zone - sports, pets and books

Sometimes I wonder how my blogs have lost a bit of their ‘zing’. Work pressure is so much at times. I had promised that I would start some activity. Well I started. I bought squash court shoes. Hope to start playing today evening. I kinda look forward to the game. This was something I wanted to do since childhood. Good exciting stuff. Hope my knee holds on and does not give way. I will be soo devastated not to play. I have spoken to the coach and he has asked to me to come in the evening, when there is some free time on the court. I have always believed that one has to play some game or the other. One can always learn from multiple games. Learning a game is important and learning it well is even more so. I hope the coach is a decent good guy who might be able to correct techniques before they get bad, unlike my cricket, which I think is impossible to really correct. This also reminds me that I must try and see if there are cricket nets in the morning on Saturday / Sundays. That should be good fun as well. What can a coach do to a 32 year old trying to learn to play better? Lets see. I am on a fitness spree… atleats thought wise. The actions should follow through boss.


My brother and his wife adopted a pup – Angel. She is dam sweet. I spent all evening playing with her yesterday. She is so amazing, so full of play. She is like a new kid in the family. My brother is acting like a dad. It’s fun to look at him. I am waiting for Angel to grow up and take her running in the park. As for yesterday, I think she played so much with me that she fell asleep while we were there it self. Thak gayi bechari khel khel ke. Pets are fun, especially if they are someone else’s. Just like kids!

For the record the book ‘understanding comics’ is easily amongst the top 10 books in my collection. Scott – you are good. Thank you. I am supremely enriched.
Now onto more such ‘serious’ comics. I am reading The Persepolis 1 and 2 by Marjane Satrapi. This kinda completes the triology. The first was the eight part series Buddha by Osamu Tezuka, the second was the two part Maus by Art Spiegleman. Understanding Comics then becomes a prequel kind of book to this trilogy consisting of 12 books.

book woe

Sometimes one gets stuck with boring books and sometimes one has unputdownabes. Normally I don’t buy books if I have a backlog to finish. Last few weeks I was not buying any. As I came to the end of the backlog, all forces converged. The books I had ordered were suddenly in stock, I saw a couple of fantastic books at Hong Kong airport, I ordered one from somewhere and voila, what have you – a backlog. Two books I am reading currently are quite interesting. Together they are causing me enough stress. I want to read and finish them both. One is “the design of everyday things” and the other is “Understanding Comics”. Both require concentrated reading to fully appreciate and understand. To top it up there is osme real shortage of time and mental energy. I have been sleeping 5-6 hour nights since last Wednesday. Today I just completely collapsed in the train and did not know when the station came. I am soo sleepy. Hopefully I should catch up on sleep today. So I have lots of books and no sleep. A few more books that I am looking forward to are coming in the post today. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… bachao!

priorities

Sometimes I cant write because there are so many things to write about. I am just back in from Hong Kong. Nice place. Will take Jispa and jasmine there. Hopefully next year…

But one thing is for sure, I am really done with traveling. I have just made up my mind that I will avoid all travel tats on Saturday or Sunday. Sunday specially. I think I deserve a better deal; my family deserves a better deal. My next Hong Kong trip is cut short so that I come back on a Saturday. Then another temptation came up. This time it was Saturday, Sunday and Monday in Seoul. Now Seoul is a place that I am most likely not to see on my own and it would have been lovely to go there. I almost gave in and thought about it. But then it’s a no. I think I value the time that I spend with Jispa and Jasmine much more. I think I will just go swimming with Jispa instead.

Yup… that’s right. Also I now plan to join some classes. I have to learn tennis or squash. Clear priority for me this year! Also adjacent priority – start cardio exercises in the gym. I have to get much better at fitness. HAVE TO.

the jungle calling

I have returned from an interesting vacation. We went to Ranthambore and Bharatpur. The verdict – Ratham Bore, but Bharatpur is amazing. The stupid Tiger safari is one of the most boringthings that you could do in Rathambore. They load you on canters and take you on an bumpy dusty dirt track in an effort to see the tiger. The tiger is obviously in no mood to oblige every tourist that visits the park. The idiots at the park have all wrong. When the odds of the tiger are so clearly stacked against you its obviouslya better option to build the story ofteh jungle by itself. There a billions things you can say about the spotted deer, the sambars, the birds, the crocs and even the bloody monkeys. The guide has to educate, talk, weave a story, explain the jungle, but I don’t think anyone is listening. Just drive like a maniac and show the tiger. Ya sure, but where is he? She? Whatever?
There we stayed at this place called the Tiger Moon Resort. The idiots at the Mumbai booking office somehow just screwed up and gave us canter safaris instead of the jeep safaris. In spite of booking the stay with them weeks before the safari bookings opened. But the resort was redeemed by the amazingly polite and caring staff, their interested naturalist and their clean functional rooms with lovely hot water. The naturalist took some time aside to give Jispa lessons on wildlife, which we recorded on tape. His assistant took us to the fort and a nature walk and we really enjoyed the bird life. Jasmine as it turns out is quite a bird enthusiast. A book on birds in India (I bought years ago for Jispa) and a pair of binocs and she was having a world warp of her own. Most of my trip I think I enjoyed thanks to her enthusiasm. Jispa is as enthused about a earthworm as she is enthused about a tiger, or even the Taj. She merely reflects your enthusiasm. She is game for almost anything. This set up the next halt of the Bharatpur bird park quite nicely. Here we really enjoyed the place. I would recommend it as a must visit for any one. The rains have not been good and the bird life it seems is severly reduced but it was still way beyond what one could imagine. A guide is a must take. Without him you can notice 90% of the birds and he help you identify them. The rickshawwala claims to bw enough but don’t let that fool you. We tried both, the guide wins hands up. We took cycles and drove Jispa double seat for the whole day. A full seven hours. By the end of the trip we were naming the birds ourselves. Jispa could name a few herself. I am going there again. For sure! There we stayed at the Birder’s Inn. Nice clean place. Value for money. But only annoying tendency is to lay out a compulsory buffet (outrageously priced at 250 a head) when he has multiple groups. Really irritating especially if you are a vegetarian. But hell. Still a nice clean place. After a few years of five star corporate travel my wife chides me for being too soft for the rigors of backpacking. Well, I redeemed myself! My point all along has been clear. I want clean rooms, clean toilets, clean sheets and a responsive staff. That’s all! As for the Taj Mahal that we went visting. All I can say that somehow its beauty has grown on me a bit. I am seeing it for the third time. It’s a tad overrated. I think the Abu Delwara na deras might be much better. But hell it more amazing to see the tons and tons of tourists at the Taj! Wow, I have seen so many tourists anywhere.
All in all. Full time pass and paisa vasool vacation. Jispa has been a cute fun loving and an obedient kid. She is amazing in her ability to mimic your enthusiasm or lack of it as well. I think she just likes to stay together. The touring, the seeing is just incidental.

we the holocaust

Reading two distinctly separate mediums , talking about two separate incidents but having a common line can be quite disconcerting. Whatever. basically I was reading the fantastically crafted book (in a comic format) ‘Maus’ about the Jewish holocaust and at the same time was reading the expose by the magazine Tehelka on the Gujarat Riots. I am not here making judgments. I am sure whatever the consequence the cause is always strong in the persons mind, but some how it is unnerving that man can foster so much hatred. Tejpal is right in comparing both of them. Reading both is so weird. We have not learnt, we will continue to kill, we will continue to live selfishly, we will continue to believe in powers of above, we will continue to forget love. We will hate in the name of love. Wow.

But Jispa, read them together. Read them.

tehelka link - http://www.tehelka.com/story_main35.asp?filename=Ne031107Tarunspiece.asp

Maus - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maus

random frustrations :)

The biggest curse in corporate world is to do well. The First KRAISE and then the quarterlies did well. I wrote some edgy stuff. Got reactions, Both sides. This time too many got involved into the act. I have been briefed by too many people. Result highly sanitized stuff. I told my Exec Director, that I just got a bottle of Dettol poured over my bloody head. Result is that I am so damn frustrated with that little thing that I want to give it up. As it is I was doing it out of pure charity. I don’t get salary or promotion for it. Fuck it man. Just fuck it. I just get some free joy by putting in some sublimals that no one except me understands! They range from double meanings to kicking someone’s butt. But then life is nothing but small bits of get backs!!!



One of the main reasons I like my job is that I don’t get too much supervision. People let me be as I am. They don’t get too much in my lives. I deliver. Period. its an amazing arrangement. Simple. I hope to someday lead like that. But I believe the team needs ot grow up for that. You have to earn freedom. Once you deliver without issues and make a habit out of it then you get eth freedom, till then you have to be used to supervision.

My advice to all wannabe media career people. The place is full of shit. I have met only pathological liars, bastards, turncoats and the rest. Hardly a good man /woman exists. Corporate fuckese at its best.

cricket weekend

That’s not supposed to happen. It’s a 5 step run up. I am supposed to whack the shit out of your short of good length balls by going through the line. But instead the balls comes close to my chest and I almost glove it to the wicket keeper. Whew! Welcome to where the bug boys play. Yesterday was an 8 a side tournament which I was leading one of the two Kotak teams. We got through to the semis with a decent show. Normally the banks send their sales guys for the matches but some banks decide to only send their professional team. Sure even I could send my A team, but then the whole idea was to play and have fun with the amateurs. The team in the semis was the pro team. All the guys have played some district level or some probables for some state / zone.
The guy bowling of 5 paces generated pace and bounce that screwed the shit out of me. Luckily I have always kept my eyes on the ball and I don’t try playing shots I can’t, to a really fast bowler, for example the hook / pull. Partly because I am not stupid to attempt it and partly I can’t get into position fast enough. You have to be really quick on your feet to do it. I have limited ability and I learnt the game only after I was 25, that too as an amateur with no formal coaching. These guys have been getting coached since they were babies. I have survived through sheer determination, willingness to learn, keeping ears and eyes open and of course keeping the eye on the ball.
I was doing pretty good till the semis, smashing other part time bowlers all around the park and getting some phenomenal averages. This game I was happy to just stay there getting off the strike. My opening partner, subbu, was a pro player and he was doing all the batting. There, one run, its your strike now. Later on, I thought of accelerating and hitting a few more. I quickly conferred with Subbu and figured that lets not. The other guys to follow will get hit and hurt. Its better that we stick in there. I got one ball pitched outside off. I slashed at it opening the face of my bat. Whack in the middle of the bat, with the sweet smell of leather and I watched in amazement the ball traveling high and far, going going going….. into the light towers and a little above and falling out of the ground into the train tracks adjoining. Wow, that’s the biggest six I have hit square of the wicket. Massive by any standards, any ground. While I like to take credit for that shot, I can only take credit for connecting, the pace at which it was bowled was the reason it went that far. My power shots aren’t that powerful. Now I know how the players at world level might be playing. It is extremely fast and powerful. How they get into position early, how can they judge the length so early, how do they do that.

I got a chance to watch these masters play at the Braborne Stadium watching an India Australia T20 match. I had tickets for Jispa and Jasmine. But Jispa didn’t want to come. The five year old decided that the match would be too loud and also the fact that her friend had invited her to her house. The last match I saw was in the 10k rupee stand and it was bloody boring, so this time I was in the 500 buck stand. That was fun! No seats only standing and fairly engaging three hours fast paced action. Really fast. Death to one day cricket. No more full day waste of time. But it was good that Jispa did not come. You don’t get water inside the stadium. You will get coke and the rest, but no water. Yup, no tap, no bottle no glass. Of course you aren’t supposed to get anything inside the stadium as well from outside. Really irritating thing. We need to take our spectators more seriously. You have give much more value or people will vote with their feet.

So that was that. A fairly engaging weekend. Overworked and under slept, but hell, you are 32 only once in your life

Fortune favors the Brave

well well well, I am on the cover of the Fortune magazine. What more can I say - a picture speaks a thousand words.

But 90% of those seeing this feel that it is a computer job. There is no sanctity to digital images these days. People only belive what they can touch and feel. Interesting insight for the future.

office space

I can get really weird. My office kids get the brunt of it at times.
The seat behind mine has been empty for sometime. My boys use this seat to dump and store stuff. I hate it. If you can’t have clean offices spaces then there are issues. If you are unable to order in advance and figure out where to store stuff then there are issues. If you are ordering entire India figures then you must courier the stuff from the printer office itself to all India. What’s the bloody point of storing the stuff in office? The space behind mine just got allotted a few days back to a new joinee. Today morning I come in to see 15 – 20 boxes of folders completely jamming his desk space. He has been on training last few days and therefore the desk has been a empty. But that still does not give the guys any right to jam anybody’s space. A new guy is more sensitive to all these cues as compared to anyone else. So I did the next best thing. I took these boxes and jammed their desks. Have fun. It helps to some in early in the morning. How does it feel to get a dose of their own medicine? Take that!

Here is the picture of their desks jammed. The two desks jammed are the culprits of the crime.

Hey I never did tell you how my first fast went off. One full day of not eating. It was fun to start with. Difficult to keep away from popping random things into your mouth. I had tons of water whenever I was hungry but it was fun. The night dinner was surely the toughest to avoid. It is soo easy for the mind to tell you that – eat, it does not matter, it’s not religious, it does not matter. And it was fun fighting it off and saying I don’t care. I am not eating. Sleep came nice and fast so it was helpful. But it was fun. Who knows, next time I will attempt two days perhaps? Worth a shot! You could write tomes on hunger but it has to be felt the hard way to really feel it! I loved it. I am richer for the experience.

I had booked online with rajasthan tourism. It was a please to book online. I cancelled the reservation. It was even faster. Now to see if the monies get deposited in the bank account as fast. Will keep you posted.

one large leap

“Ritu and I both will be 15 min late. My chappal fell off d train n she is coming to station with a spare pair 4 me :(” – this is the SMS I received from one of my reportees. Fact is sometimes stranger than fiction.

Life comes a full circle. Sonal used to stay at Bandra all her life. Her dad retired and moved to Kandivili from where she jostles and fights her way to office. I had another girl once who stayed at Marine drive and came to work at Nariman point. Just 5 minutes by road. She got married and moved to Jogeshwari. That’s one and a half hour to work everyday. I had asked to look for the tabelas (hindi for cow sheds). She just nodded thinking this was us pulling her leg. She called up soon after in all excitement saying that she saw the tabelas. Well I told you they were there!

This is but a small example of how women get displaced by marriage and is such a big radical step for them. I am not so sure it’s that big a step for the guy. Best of luck to all the girls!

philosophy has its uses

Five years back when Jispa was born, a friend of mine (Ashutosh) remarked that “the birth of the child is the death of the father” apparently quoted by the great poet Kabir. The statement has great significance. As he explained to me, that once the child is born, the father will do anything to save the child from harm. If it means putting his life for the child he will do so without hesitation. So in a matter of speaking the father’s life is not his own, he has already given it to / up for the child, so in other words he is already dead. Now that’s an interesting thought.
We were holidaying in matheran the other day. I got some hot soup for Jispa. I then got a two litre mineral water bottle and placed it on the table and turned. As I turned I heard a commotion and I turned back to see the bottle toppling over and hitting the soup bowl. Normally one sees this in slow motion. Not this time though. I saw this in super warp speed. The bottle hit the soup bowl and the soup tippled over and was falling on Jispa. My only reaction was to extend my palms as wide as possible in between Jispa and the soup bowl so that the impact of the hot soup was maximum on my hand and minimum on Jispa. Successful - Jispa only got a drop on her pants and I bore the brunt. I jumped around a bit and luckily it did not burn me much. But I realized what I did and what Kabir meant.


The other day the stupid IT guy in the office (they all are) decided to break a hole in my table and put the printer plug point inside my cupboard. This incensed me to a great extent. I tried reasoning with him but he just would not understand. The next day I realized the business at risk issue and wrote a mail. Result – the plug was dutifully removed within 24 hours. Here’s the mail. You decide.
The cast though – Nagraj – the IT guy, Shama – the admin, Vareena – the HR.
My next fight – get that bloody hole repaired.


SUB: Business At Risk

In my cupboard where I keep my books and papers we suddenly have an electric point!

Where there is an electric point, there you will have sparks (invariably). Even Jispa knows that. (if you don’t know who Jispa is, I don’t know you). When spark touches paper, it burns. Remember your 6th standard science class. When paper burns, more paper next to it burns. This leads to a chain reaction where the entire desk catches fire. Desks are predominately wood and what have you here? A catastrophe waiting to happen. Nero fiddled while Bakhtawar burned. Who is Nero? I dunno, ask him. Who him? Ask Nero for all I care. So it might be the boy who cried wolf, but who knows; if it looks like a wolf, feels like a wolf, behaves like a wolf, it is not likely to be a kangaroo. Jispa knows that as well. (what? you still don’t know who is Jispa? get outta here)

So kindly remove the point from there (the electric point, got the point?) and please can I have my desk back. Its missing me and the feeling is mutual.

How did this get about:-

I ask Nagraj, Nagraj tells me that he tell Shama, Shama obviously does it because Nagraj told her. Who gave Nagraj authority, well he spoke to Vareena. Why did Vareena say yes, well because Nagraj told her. Why did Nagraj get it done, beacuase Vareena and Shama said so. In excel parlance this is called circular reference. So where does the buck stop. You silly goose, the buck cannot stop – it’s a circle and it’s twisted, so that makes it’s a mobius strip. A mobius strip has no start no end, its just keeps going around. So much so that some scientists have hypothesized that if it does not start or end it does not exist. It is not even there.

A mathematician confided
That a Möbius band is one-sided,
And you'll get quite a laugh,
If you cut one in half,
For it stays in one piece when divided

So who has the hole in the end:- my desk. I am not sure about anyone’s mind yet. Hope this burned a hole in your mind as well.

While at the topic – does putting a hole in my desk require my permission? Oh ya – the circle has decided on its own I guess (the circular reference circle). It’s like a snow ball and it’s got sufficient momentum on its side. So, GET OUT OF THE WAY! But while putting the hole in, musn’t you remove my stuff so that it does not get dirty? GET OUT OF THE WAAAY, SNOW BALL IS SNOWBALLING. But….AVALANCE..tttttt.

I have just been exterminated. Exterminated employees need not feel anything. Especially motivation, desire to call the place your own, belonging, clean perhaps. Anything. Just work. But I have just been exterminated – so what? Those exterminated are transported to the netherworld – where you just work. Well at least you don’t burn here. Well the place night burn down, but you might as well might be saved. Should I feel grateful. I should.

Thank you

Yours truly

Do I need to add my name? is the email id enough? Sombody answer, someone pull me out, someone show me a sign that I am alive. Someoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…………………………….aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

service and smile

I like, no no lets rephrase that, I love… that’s better… I love low points in life. That is what defines my high points. Whenever I have felt low is when I fight back to get my high. Till about a minute back I was low. Shit in office, shit everywhere. That has helped me define my high. I am suddenly on an adrenaline rush. I am giving shit back. And how! I could not have felt better. In the words of the Mask – Somebody….stop me.

I am just back from a trip to Geneva, Brussels, Antwerp and London. All official. Yaya… I am the lucky guy. One thing I figures. British Airways (BA) is a piece of shit. The brits have not learnt anything about service. They cant service to save their asses. I have always believed that good advertising will come to naught if you don’t follow through on the service. This is a classic case study. BA will have all the classic ads that have service written all over it. They believe in service they say. They will have a chick air hostess in a namaste. The stupid agency wont even get the bow right. The namaste in India is not like a western ‘hi, how are you doing?’ it’s a more submissive gesture (full of reverence) for Indian. Complete dickhead of a job and some amazing dickhead of follow through. For breakfast as we were reaching London, they served us milk and muesli. And I liked it and dared to ask for more. MORE?? Now I know what Oliver Twist felt like. They said they don’t have more. What the hell? They don’t have more food for someone traveling in Business Class. God knows what happens in Economy. Do they just stand up and start laughing. “hey somebody look at this guy. He wants MORE. Hahahahah.” On the way back I wanted to go to the pee pee. The seat belt sign just came on as I stood up. The steward told me to get back to my seat. Not do politely of course, but hell he is a BA staff. He is obviously near God. Then in about 10 seconds he tells me that if I want to go to the bath room I got one minute. That’s about the time he is going to take. So I better hurry up and get it done with. OK sir! Thanks a lot. Wow….that sure saved from pissing in their Business class water bottle. What a bloody piss off. I am not traveling BA again ever. I would not advise anyone either. The option – the best service I have seen is Jet Airways. Good old humble service Jet. They are way above every one. Not that BA is too difficult to top. I have asked for more in domestic flights in economy and have always got more in return. Ask for one small after mint and you always get two. Aks for a bottle of water, you will get two. That’s the way dude. Service is king! Someday the rest of us mortals will get it as well. I also have been in many hotels, no one even comes close to the Taj hotels. We do a lot of stay and banqueting. The Taj is head over heels compared to anyone else. Well its interesting that home grown Indian brands will teach eth world what service is like. Mr. Goyal, I don’t care what anyone says. I believe in you.

Coming to something else. People in office around the world are generally short on humor. I put an out of office mail that I thought was very average and not really funny. But I got a lot of kudos for it. I got people forwarding the out of office mail to others, I got people just mailing to check the response, and of course a few conversations begin with the topic. Here it is. You judge you decide. But one thing it has given me for sure, and that’s some more confidence to get whackier! Somebody Stop me.

(I have masked the phone numbers. This is the internet after all)

Hi,

Since you have got an out of office reply – well, I AM actually out of office. Cool nah?
I will be back on the 27th of September 07.

Since this is a tour on official duty you may contact me on my official cell. But before you do so, kindly keep in mind the following pointers:-

Think of the obscene roaming rates before you try my cell.
If you still want try and contact me please buy some telecommunication stocks before you call. Somebody must benefit in the bargain I guess.
Before calling minus four to five hours from Indian time and think a bit if you really want to wake me up for I can return the favor five hours past your bed time.
Try calling Ritu (XXXXXXXXX) for international work, Venkat (981XXXXXXX) for Wealth Management work and Manish (981XXXXXXX) for all the other group work.
And if everything else fails, have faith… for this too shall pass.

Have fun while I am hard at work

Jaimit

thats a fast one

We are jains but I am a little bit of a radical. Yah sure I believ in god and some super human power but going to temples for prayer is not my scene. The mega jain festival – paryushan is on. The seven days of fasting and I assume austerity is on. But there is nothing austere about it. It’s as in your face richness and silkiness (paradoxically for Jainism) as any other hindu festival. The temple is decorated with lights and pandals. Women and men roam around in their finest marriage finery with goady jewelry. People moving form one temple to another, form one golden idol to another. The orgy of flowers decorating is so sickening. The power of context is at its bets here. I would loved ot see flower décor but to see it in all splendor at a Jain temple is somewhat a bad idea. We gloss over the very principles we are celebrating. I even remember having a fight with my mom for letting me and Jasmine watch a movie during this stupid carnage festival. She said that its not right and you must not go, and for the hell of me I could not figure out why? I love Jainism but I hate the Jains!

I normally won’t even know when the festival is approaching. Tomorrow is the last day and if somebody would have told me that I would be fasting, I would laughed my head off. But wonders never cease. I for some whacked off reason have decided to fast today. I don’t know why the thought popped into my head but no food today only water. There is definitely no religious belief – DEFINITELY NOT, but I wanted to know what it is to fast for a day. How does the body react, how does one feel, what is the meaning of craving. One can read tomes on hunger but one has to feel it to understand it. I remember I used to try and do some fasting as a kid. I remember giving it up at night and having food. How would I feel today? It’s a normal day as ever. I accidentally popped a small ginger chip in today, so I have definitely missed the religious angle. I have always believed on learning something new regularly, doing something new, something else. This defines us and shapes us as we go along. One more learning, one more step. Right now it’s fun to feel the stomach grumbling, making weird noises, asking for food. Good cleansing for the system. A bit of detoxification never hurt too many.

hush my boy, the puppies are shrinking

Does your foot actually shrink after a certain age... after lets say 32 years! Well that’s what happened to me, if hush puppies are to be believed. I have been wearing large sizes. Sport shoes typically are at ten and half, even 11. Most formal shoes are at 10. My last hush puppies were 10. So this time I walk into the store and ask for 10 in a particular type. I want the simplest one with no extravagant designs. He gives me a size 10. hmmm feels very roomy. My toe ends way before the shoe ends. Haan sir, is mein ek size chota hi chalta hai. Ok. Give me a size 9. whoops.. a little roomy again. Errrr… size 8, I ask sheepishly, a little hesitant. He checks for my foot size on his measuring scale – it shows a ten. He gets a size eight nevertheless. Size eight I keep thinking. The last time I wore 8 was probably when I was 13 – 14 years old. Size eight is just a little narrow, but marginally so. Funny. This is ridiculous. I wear 10 in hush puppies! I can’t believe it. I try all the other types, I ask for all the different sizes in the others. I cant just wear these new Italian styled narrow pointed ones. My feet are way too broad for that. I probably need to wear size 15 in those and end up looking like Ian Thorpe (the Australian swimmer, duh). While I am trying out all the others, I look at the poor size 8 hush puppies and decide to try them again. My wife is not a bit fazed. She had budgeted a good one hour as she knew I have to buy shoes. She has been through many of my show buying sojourns. I could buy a shirt and a tie and a suit fast but shoes take forever. Sport shoes, formal shoes, simple sandals, they all take a looong time to buy. I guess it’s my foot contours that make the entire thing difficult. They are definitely not the average Joe ratios for sure. So I pick up the size 8 and they seem definitely more comfortable than the others. Oh what the hell, let buy them. I have been wearing them now for three days. They sure fit well. So much for standard sizes!