Jispa Speak

Jispa has been chosen for the final day final round in the elocution competition. She is quite an expressive child and this is a perfect outlet for the drama in her. The poem we chose (wrote about it earlier) has enough play for different tones and voices. It will be different from the other poems that go in a monotone… dada dada … dada dada … dada dada da. This will go slow, loud, pause, surprise… I asked her on the phone today if she remembered anyone else’s poem. She said there one poem about the pig by Roald Dahl. Its about a pig with a over sized brain it knew everything but “but in the end One question drove him round the bend: He simply couldn't puzzle out, What LIFE was really all about."
I quickly googled it as i was on the phone and read it out to her. I then asked her… see… how do I know the entire poem. She just spelt out “G…O…O…G…L…E”. hmmm, how did you know that, I asked her. She said that she too has an over sized brain like the piggy in question. Ok … you win.

On Sunday while I was taking a lecture at college, Jispa and Jasmine had planned to come in once they finished at the park. They came in at the last ten minutes of the lecture. I was my usual loud self. Jasmine remarked to Jispa – does your teacher shout like this? After the lecture as we were walking out she asked me in all earnest, “dad, when I go grow will you teach me as well?” “sure, Jispa. I am always teaching you. I am teaching you now as well.” “no, will you teach me these things that you were teaching them.” “of course, I will”. She was happy. “when you are bigger, Jispa, all you have to do is ask”.

Later another thing she told me that “papa, you are less strict than my teacher. In school if anyone talks my teacher makes them stand under the clock.” Heheh. I sure am. I didn’t tell her that if I do that my class will shift to the clock in under five minutes.

hail nation

India sent a mission to the moon - Chandrayaan. One of the payloads it carried was NASA’s Moon Mineralogy Mapper. That tongue twister detected evidence of water. No doubt a significant discovery if we are to make colonize the moon. The times of India was at its euphoric best screaming “One Big step for India, a giant leap for mankind”. The geologist in US who analyzed the data from the NASA probe acknowledged India role. I expect a whole lot of India to get drawn into this euphoria and embrace these findings… I would not be surprised if people make presentations using this as an example of Indian super prowess. Textbooks will be written tom-toming this ‘indian’ achievement. Many people will say that India discovered that moon has water.
I am reminded of a fable I read as a kid. To cut the story short, a unique twist of circumstances ensured that a lame man sits on the shoulders of a blind man who carries him around the world in a symbiotic relationship. They happen to be chosen by the royal elephant as ‘the groom’ for the princess. After they go around the ceremonial fire with the princess, a row erupts between them as to who actually married the princess. A wise sage is called to deliver the verdict. He says that the lame man is husband as the blind man is akin to the horse on which the groom may sit.
While many proud Indians will tell you in quiz that the only Indian to win the Mr. Universe title was Premchand Degra, but not a soul will tell you was the runner up. This is a trick question. There was only one entry in the category he competed.

PS: After I published this post someone sent me a mail to the effect that – our Mr. Degra won the World Amateur Championships (80 kgs) beating other contestants (Todd Roberts came in second) to claim the Mr. World title. I can’t find Mr. Universe on his wikipedia page or any Google searchs though.
But somehow I so clearly remember the Times of India story on the front page – saying he won the Mr. Universe and that there were no other contestants in his category. I remember it as clear as day… I also remember talking about it to my other cousins about the absurdity of the title.

inspiration

Some times, many times one comes across people who are inspirational by who they are and what they do… not by their need to inspire you. It is not set out as an intended consequence of their action. It inspiring to see them working against the odds just to make it work. They could choose not to but they choose to… they choose to see all the shit around them and say.. ok.. lets make this work.

The first one is my teacher from college Prof Hasina. She is associated with the commerce department. Since I keep going to college for teaching I have remained in touch with her. She is now the head of commerce association and I love the way she is pushing the association to do new events and programs. She could have decided not to do it and say commerce is a university course, what could we do? But I love her passion and her commitment to the job and she is ready to make things happen.
Prof Saxena was another such person who ran the BMS course when it was introduced. She made sure it rocked, brought direction, vision and execution to the course. Dynamic. Absolute dynamic.

Over the years I have seen that such teachers are slowly not coming in to teach anymore. I guess they join the corporate world. The new breed of teachers instills no confidence.

Here is another gem of a story of William Kamkwamba who decided against the grain to do something. He started not by trying to inspire but to do something. He dropped out of school due to a failed crop, went to a library and somehow figured out how to make a windmill and made it. Crazy considering he did not really understand the English inside the library books that well. Simple to him. An amazing story for everyone else.
BTW his mom thought he was crazy!
Now queues of people line up outside his home to charge their mobile phones.

Listen to his story; it’s only 5 minutes long…
He wants people to listen to his story on the internet and in his words “trust yourself and belief, whatever happened… don’t give it up”

melamine

In office we have melamine plates to have our food in. Most guys get their dabbas and empty the food in the melamine plates and bowls and heat them in the microwaves.
Now it somehow felt wrong to heat the food in melamine plates. On a lark I googled this stuff and found out that; you cannot heat melamine plates/bowls in a microwave, because that’s where the melamine can break down and leach toxins
Melamine resin is known as a thermoset plastic, because the plastic is fixed after molding. If exposed to enough heat, melamine will decompose. For this reason, melamine dishware should not be exposed to high temperatures like those in the oven and microwave.

Now what to do with the info. Some guy must have ordered the stuff without knowing that this can happen. All he had to do was ask his wife who might have told him that you can’t put the stuff in the micro. But the deed has already been done. So we have the plates. Typically in the office since the deed has been done, admitting ignorance might make you look silly. So you do the next best thing, you cry ‘chicken’. All this is ok in small quantities and it does really matter that much.

I am reminded of something I have blogged about in the past - Hermann Wilhelm Göring –Nazi party Leader. While the statement does not quite match the basic principle is the same. you can always twist it any way you wish. He said - “Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger”

So I really don’t expect the melamine plates to go away. I don’t expect people to stop using them but I hope people realize the power of google or even common sense. I have seen the pantry guys heating the food to quite a temperature and then picking the plates up with a napkin as the plates got really hot. I have seen them heating rotis on the melamine and having them stuck to the plates. I have seen melamine plates being twisted and distorted due to the heat.

God know what all goes in our stomachs. Many years ago (at least 15 yrs) I had read that an American senator was confronted by some protestors who were against dumping thrash to the third world for recycling, as recycling some of these plastics can cause cancers. He replied that in third world countries it does not matter, as these cancers typically hit after the age of 70 and the life expectancy is lower than that by a margin.

Since corporate male life expectancy is even lower thanks to the entire artery clogging lifestyle, I guess, melamine toxins come way down on the value chain.

Which animal buries its head in the ground? Is it the ostrich?

magical weekened

Watch the movie “UP” for the cutest love story in less than 15 minutes. It’s at the start and it was so beautiful and cute and would make you go… awwwwwwwwwww…
The movie was quite cool with my kid enjoying it. We happened to be in VT area where we had gone to gorge on McDonalds breakfast menu.
The stuff was quite good with the muffin being steamed one! Wonder of wonders. Something at McDonalds is not fried?! I also opted for the hot chocolate and liked that one as well. I guess the coffee and the chocolate are the underrated items on the menu with the burgers and the shakes getting all the attention.
We happened to be at Mc when we were wondering where to take the kids after a morning at the park. We took them to the breach candy park (someone Mahindra garden) early morning yesterday and they enjoyed to their hearts content. Jispa is a natural at all these parks that require what I understand as gross motor skills. She can climb anywhere, everywhere and is one with the boys at all these games. I think she beats them as well. Seeing a boy jump from one of the ropes on the Cororcords Jispa wanted to attempt the same. Jasmine at the start wasn’t too enthused but I saw the jump and gave my go ahead. Woppie… she goes.. bham on the sand she falls. Gets up and tries again.. whoopieee…. I think the height was around ten feet. Awesomeposume. We had gone with a few of her friends and they seemed to be no match for her when it comes to the spirit of adventure. Jasmine fears a broken bone, I guess it’s the cost of growing u, or should I say the rite of growing up. As my dad said looking at Krish Srikkant’s batting – fortune favors the brave.
We went there early morning as the evening before we landed there to see a huge crowd. It still could take loads of kids and still function. I have no complaints on that. It was good fun but I thought it might be nice for Jispa to play with the stuff with a little less crowd. We had gone in with a friend who had come in from Dubai. As soon as he entered the place with his kid he remarked “which country are we in?” he loved the place and more importantly – his 4 year old loved it. On the ropes while he was having eth time of his life, he slipped a bit and caught a very very mild bruise on his forehead. His dad carried him one side and as he came in the poor kid was crying. I took him aside and looked at it – it was nothing… so I told him “hold on… don’t cry .. wait… do you want me to use some magic for your head. It will make it all go away. but you have to stop crying for that.” He looked at him half wondering, half belief and half disbelief. Yup I know that totals upto more than one… you have never seen kid expressions have you? Coming back… he stopped crying a bit. His father and also my wife were wondering what I was upto. Me too. So I just pulled out my wallet and thought I would pull out something.. that’s the only thing I had to pull out. A magician has to pull out something?!? Everyone was looking at me… what would come next. I opened my wallet and I remembered that I had some soap strips hidden away. I showed it to the boy, tore a small part of the soap strip and told him “see this magic paper, I ill put it on your head and the pain will all go away… see…” I stuck the dam thing on his forehead. “has it gone away?”. He nodded… good.. Keep it one for sometime. His father remarked that it was lucky I had some magic strip on me. Yup… I was lucky as well. As long the magic works it’s wonderful… this thing … magic….

Here are a few images from the fun

Pretty self explanatory

I taught her that move. Cool nah! it was my signature move. I also taught her the flip.
X marks the spot from she jumps. If you think thats not high.. try it.

The magic paper in action ... keep it handy. It works.

This one is cute…. It made entirely of tires.. look closely.

wake up jis

Wakening up on your own is a coming of age ritual. Something I am trying to find a balance with for Jispa. How do you wake up a 7 year old for school? Especially in the winter. This happens every year when the sun is in its southern sojourn. As winter solstice returns and the mornings are darker than before Jispa opens her eyes and asks irritatingly / angrily, why did you wake me up so early. Two years back it was difficult to make her understand, but its improved then on. last year I taught her the solstices and today it came to my aid. I told her… its winter now, you remember the winter solstice, nah? … huhhh… yaaa… hmmmm… ok. Then please wake up it is 6:15.
Yesterday much as I am at loathe to give it up I finally did (I think). I pulled my muscle back a bit while lifting her after the shower. So now on she is on her own after she wakes up. My job ends after wake up time.
I remember my growing up moment when I first used an alarm clock to wake me up. I remember it very clearly. I must have been 7th or 8th standard. My marathi tuition teacher had called us for extra class at 7 in the morning and I had to wake up at 6. I told mom and dad to set an alarm for me so that I can get up on my own. While mom gave me an alarm clock set to 7. Dad told me another trick. He said to bang my head on the pillow as many times as the time I wanted to wake up. I looked at him in disbelief. He said it works try it. so I banged my head on the pillow 7 times and went to sleep. Warning: children if you re reading this: do not try this at home without adult supervision.
Well I did wake up on time but the story is not about waking up. Thanks to all the excitement of growing up and the fear associated with missing the alarm I got some really horrible sleep. I kept waking up all through the night, checking the time and going back. It was a bad night that ended in relief when the alarm actually rang.
I have gone on to miss many alarms then on and catch many as well. Poor Jasmine who have to wait at the station for me early in the morning while I happily slept through the alarm. Snooze was not a popular feature on the alarms I had then I guess. I remember hearing the phone ring… oh shit… its Jasmine. This was the family land line days and not individual cell phones…get up.. rush.. Wait jasmine. I will leave now. I remember brushing, bathing, getting ready and reaching Kings Circle station in 15 minutes flat. That was fast. I used to run full speed to the station and catch the next train itself. Wow. I could run in those days. This was peak NCC days where I could just run like hell everywhere and anywhere and for whatever the distance. I practically invented parkour. Jumping over obstacles, across over bridges, across roads, vendors whatever. (kids: please read warning again). I loved running.
Jasmine even gave me an alarm clock that looked like a monkey playing the drums for a birthday. She really tried hard.

it does exist

To add to the list of worlds “do these jobs actually exist” is the job I came across in my office while I fired a print.
While there is the color printer which is exactly 1 foot away from where I sit, the default printer is the Xerox machine at the other corner. Being the marketing head I have access to the color printer but it has the premium papers in the trays and hence it’s easier to fire the print 30 feet away than the one foot away printer. Well technically one can have different and cheaper paper in the different trays of the printer but let’s not get there. There is too much IQ at stake here.
So I fire this print out and walk to the machine. As I reach there a petit woman sitting next to it gets up, picks up the paper and hands it over to me. Thank you. Then next time I fire a couple more… the same thing. The lady gets up and picks the paper and hands them over to me as I walk to the machine. Yup…That’s her job.
Lets break it up > Sit down till you see someone walk to the printer > then get up, take printout in your hand > hand it over to the one who has walked right up to the printer > sit down. Notice it – no walking involved.…
Her core job is to stand up and hand over print out to the people who fire the printouts when they come to collect it. Nopes the tray is not at ground level, I don’t have to bend if she was not there…nothing…
Ok... I admit… there is one more job she does… if you have anything to photocopy, you go there, give it to her and she lifts the lid, places the paper and presses copy. Yup that’s it… well… sometimes she also loads paper, presses a number for multiple copies and… and… I can’t think of anything more… But there she is… her name is Swati I think. A petit 5 foot girl. Very sweet with a ready smile at all times. Taking paper from the printer has never been more… err…sweet?

Reminiscences - 1

Going through old visiting cards is as nostalgic as going through old photo graphs. Yesterday as Jasmine was cleaning the cards file she came across quite a few of my really really old cards. I don’t think I would be able to talk about all of them today but let’s take the oldest of the lot.
My first job. This was a summer job that I did while in college. V-inu asked me if I wanted to join and I was all game. The company was called Lawandes Direct Marketing. Run by an enterprising guy named Bhusan Lawande (I hope I get the name right). 7 o clock had launched the disposable razor called Presto and were trying to market the same. We were called in for that. Later on we realized that our job was actually to sell 7 o’ clock PII blades at the defense canteen at Navy Nagar. V-inu got one canteen at the start, I got the big ‘gol’ canteen and one other guy got the officers canteen. The idea was to give out a santoor soap free with two packets of P II blades. Pretty straight forward. There used to be a line at the counters with the navy guys getting lists and awaiting their turn. I just sat at the counter just before and spoke to everyone. I remember selling around 30-40 twin packs. That was better than expected. And I could only manage one counter well, the other two I had to leave. But I still sold enough. In the next round I got the officers canteen, which was a super market style one with air conditioners newly installed at the billing counters and not at the shopping level. It was best to stand at the billing counters and catch people. Those buying blades were easy to convert. Either ask them to buy two or flip the brand. One customer I wont forget is one lady that I approached. I gave the entire spiel to have her laugh like crazy. I was like, “what happened”. She was trying to hold her laughter and she said she was buying the blades for her son while I gave her the spiel about her husband appreciating the blades. Her husband has a Beard. Navy man you see. No what’s so funny about that? But it was sweet. Another thing I wont forget is – I used to wear a tie and short sleeves. The good part fo eth short sleeves is that I used to put my hand overt the Ac vents (window A/c’s) and let the cool breeze run into my chest through my arm pits. That used to help me cool off as the AC was quite inadequate.
A fallout of this job was that I got a few santoor soaps at home. Unethically of course. Fibbing a few sales figures as no one was really tracking. I felt guilty but I flicked around a dozen in the days I was there. It was pretty silly but we at the time saw it as a perk. But at least I was on time and did my job without shirking and goofing off. Hence the high sales numbers. The other kids were just relaxing and roaming around instead of doing their job. That was bad. But I guess my ethics evolved over a period of time. Enough to resist pocketing Oakley’s glares while I could have easily done whatever I wanted to them. It’s been a long journey. Coming back to the soap, I then got tired of the sandalwood smell of the soap and horribly bored of it. Instead of bathing with it I decided to use to create soap sculptures. A ganesha was one of them.
Briefly I worked for the Presto blades which was a flop show as the outlet at lokhandwala at Andheri hardly had footfalls. This was around ’93 and the suburb was yet to take off.
Lawande, seeing my work (I assume) put me on Glucovita project. A glucose product that needed to be doctor sampled. Basically I led a team of kids trying to go from doctor to doctor sampling the product and talking about the benefits. Simple one but my first taste of leadership. It didn’t taste like anything. Simple water I guess.
What I get from all this? Well those days we were paid 180 bucks a day plus 20 bucks for traveling. So you have 200 bucks a day. Not bad. You got around 15 days of employment. We saved a lot of that money. I used to take the bus from kings circle to navy nagar for four rupees and twenty five paise as it was cheaper than the train to VT and a bus thereon, by around one buck. That’s it, one measly buck. V-inu used to go by train as his dad was in the railways and hence a free pass.
We sweet talked the navy canteen guys to let us shop there as you got stuff cheaper there thanks to the tax cuts. We even managed to get some booze for friends, and some champagne for cheap. I never did drink it yet I got great kicks from doing it for friends. The few things I remember buying for my self was a swimming trunk, the real sexy cut ones… hehhehe. And one pair of lotto shoes for 400 bucks. That was half the price. And that too LOTTO. That was amongst the early foreign brands available in India. I felt good. I also had some money to spend with Jasmine. Finally! She had financed a lot of our courtship. But it still was much less than what she had. She was always loaded.
But the most important thing the work did for me was during my MBA, I was amongst the few to have some work experience written on my CV. I could speak about it as opposed to others who had nothing to write and nothing to talk about. That helped my CV stand out and help me get short listed. That was the coolest thing for me.
I sure wish Jispa does some summer jobs, works a bit while in college and learns a lot. I had some low days, some high days ad lot of them were pretty flat. But I loved them. I never complained, I had no reason to. Wearing my Lottos to the pool and changing into my costume with some cash in my piggy was an awesome feeling. I wanted to do a napoleon and crown myself. but, here's thank you Bhusan, thank you V-inu, than you to a guy I think named satish. he was the team leader types guy. He was a bit political but I was ok with him.

An odd ball - some one later told me that there was a chick who tried hitting on me in the Glucovita project. I honestly never noticed and never cared. I was too busy 'leading' I guess. I remember her being very irritating instead. i cont remember her name or face, but can vaguely place her. forget it!

Here is the lawandes visiting card.

wasted chores

‘DOMESTIC CHORES SAP WOMEN’S ENERGIES. IF THE FAMILY BECOMES THE LIMIT OF YOUR WORLD, THEN YOU CAN NO LONGER THINK BIG’

Haha. Well said Krishna Sobti “Hindi fiction writer and essayist” in the Tehelka.

I have always believed that women have much more potential than is being used. The potential being eaten up by the domestic chores. I don’t believe that domestic chores area waste of time and effort. They definitely add value to the family and keep them going. The question is of margin. Like the old Surf washing powder line – agar kum dam mein utni safedi mile toh phir koi surf na le? If you are wasting potential on chores that can be done by others leaving you to focus on what you believe is important to fulfill your potential, then something is wrong.
Jasmine has been a housewife and we think its important part of Jispa’s growing up. We believe that not having a 24X7 maid in the house for Jispa is important to Jispa’s growing up and our sanity. We can take care of her better and nurture her better. We are also ill prepared for a maid whom we see as a liability. It mean we have to sacrifice a bit but its worth it. Jasmine is definitely adding value to our home by making the conscious call of being a full time mother. But I have always urged her to look around and expand her interests in the free time she gets. We missed having her working before Jispa, something I blame both her family and my mother equally for. I thought it was important for her to work somewhere, anywhere… but hell, we have lived with a lot of calls that conservatism thrust upon us. Add one to that total.
I have seen many women enter the workforce in the time since I started working. You get equal number of them being dim or bright as the men in the workforce. The poor dim women are highlighted and being ridiculed as they are women where as the men, as dim or worse tend to get spared. My take is that given equal probability of intellectual capacity, the women breaking through the glass ceilings and prejudices tend to better than the men. I first tried to have women in my team to balance the ratio, then when it got women centric I tried to balance the ratio the other way. It just couldn’t work. I just couldn’t get any decent men. After specifically asking human resources for men, I still ended up hiring women. The men were just so dumb. Or maybe we just attracted the worst men to apply. Whatever the fault, I ended up having one guy and three girls in the team and the team is kick ass.
Yesterday we were at café coffee day and there also I have been seeing a trend of women being the waiters. These are typically women from possibly middle middle class, speaking simple English and having confidence to talk to customers. They are better than the men waiters for sure. The men tend to be dumb, stupid and lead headed. The women tend to be sweeter, receptive and understand service. You get your oddballs everywhere but I think the probability is better with women. I think it’s the same reason. It takes much for a woman to break tradition and hence by natural filtration the good one pass the sieve. This works at all income levels, as I have seen equal prejudice even at higher incomes.
With so many women entering working class, it creates more competition. It’s a GOOD THING, in case some chauvinists were wondering. There are gains in eth economy that this workforce will add. In India my belief is that this huge economic multiplier is missed by many economists. It is rarely spoken of. I find it quite odd. The benefits go beyond the increase in income level. There are benefits of exposure, understanding, confidence and the like that permeate the population. Mindsets change, minds open, options emerge, directions change.
Do whatever you want as long as you get to choose what you want to do. House must be a choice not a chore. For too many years we have needlessly corked this potential. What a waste!

education... creativity...? the answer is a shel?

Yesterday I came across two videos. Both of which are interesting and in a manner of speaking on the different quadrants of an axis.
The first one was the speech by Obama on education urging the kids to follow through (right word?) on their responsibility towards education. Not bad at all, though I am a bit tired of him talking everywhere. While I might be falsely accusing narcissism what he says is definitely worth listening. It did make sense.
In the evening I came across another video, (actually the audio I heard in a horrific traffic jam) where the sir Ken Robinson talks about something even more pertinent. He argues that the education system designed to aid the industrial revolution post the 1900’s kills creativity and is unable to provide our kids with skills needed or hone the varied skills they are born with. A lovely one that. My favourite line "My contention is that creativity now is as important in education as literacy"
If you have to choose between the videos see the Ken Robinson one. The first is something enforces something you thought to be true and the other one enforces what you suspected to be true.
Choosing one over the other is pretty stupid but understanding the context of one with the other is having the ability to reconcile quadrants.





On the subject of creativity and education, Jispa has an elocution contest on Tuesday. Now I don’t really care if she wins or not but I sure want her to have a wild story to tell and a unique way to tell it. A little bit of overacting may not be out of order. As long its funny and Jispa enjoys it! The poem I choose is a Shel Silverstein one. Those are the best with enough twist on our notion of ‘normalease’. It is called the crocodile’s tooth ache. I found it extremely funny and allows for a play between two characters. The crocodile who is normally fierce is the victim and the dentist who is normally the sweet heat is the perpetrator of the crime. And in the end the dentist’s ghastly end leaves you with no remorse but a sense of justice. That was too much analysis for such a lovely poem. We have lost the ability to see it for what it is…. Essshhh.. Here enjoy it as much I did…it’s in his uniquely gruff voice

turn the other way

I was talking to one mother about parenting. Actually I talk to a lot of mothers on parenting. For some reason I seem to be more involved in it or probably more vocal about it than others. Funnily when two guys get together rarely is parenting discussed. I guess it’s a girl thing and I discussing it might be effeminate, but hell, that’s one topic I love and I can talk about it for hours. I obviously have no formal knowledge and claim no expertise except the experience of raising one cute kid. So I stick to my experiences and what I know.
So I was talking to this lady in office about taking kids to nice places. One new one is the park at breach candy it someone Mahindra Park for kids. It is easily the best park I have seen in India with high quality imported play equipment. Wow. I had never seen some of that stuff anywhere else. A dam good place and a well maintained park. I must go there more often for sure. The other place I normally recommend in the Jijamata Udyan or zoo. Most would shun the Byculla zoo and most would come back from not so happy memories of dull cages with no life. But there is a trick to enjoy this place. I know because I used to go with Jispa many times when she was little. How you enjoy the park is dependent on two things – first – what time do you go. Evenings on weekends is always a mess with a lot of overcrowding and second and more importantly is the turn you take when you enter the park. Almost everyone will take a left turn. That’s the route you first get the tiger, elephants, monkeys, bear, leopard etc. these cages are bad, dull small and the poor animal is normally hidden inside the cave. He is probably bored and is least interested in showing you his stuff. And you get to one animal in a cage then you have to walk to see another. You follow the route which is a bit confusing and you hit half point at the hippo that is underwater and hence invisible. The rhino is typically lazing in his shelter away from human glare. You the pack up and turn around and head home. This route has less green cover and more walking… all adding up to a bad experience. I always take and recommend taking a left. You instantly come across the bird cage which is denser and has more life. You come across egrets, spoonbills, pelicans, ibis, herons and the works. Normally one of the birds or the other is flying about. They are close enough to get a good glimpse of what’s happening and the kid is straight away gratified with life. Compare that to the dull tiger cage searching for elusive lazy tiger sleeping in his den away from your kids. Then you move to the parakeets, the white peacock, Sarus crane, and other birds. The place is greener with bigger cages, great visibility and larger life. Then you hit the barking deer, spotted deer, black bucks, antelopes etc … the you hit hippo and the rest in reverse order. By then the kid is excited. He tires nevertheless and hence you can rightfully go through all the other animals fast enough.
So when at the zoo avoid what the Romans do.
Another of my fav places when Jispa was little is the Prince of Wales museum. Now why would I want a two to four year old to go to the museum? I must be a culture vulture? Nopes… here also eth same rule applies turn right. Hit the natural history section. Stuffed birds and animals. Large birds such as the flamingoes, hornbills along with huge animals such as tigers and rhinos. The small kids would love it. Mine did. Then you can take her around the museum hoping to get her excited on the small spoons and the small bottles on display. Though for the elders I strongly recommend the audio tour. I loved it.
But the main thing here is transfer of enthusiasm. That always works. If you walk by the museum or the zoo and refuse to get excited by the stuff there, what will your kid enjoy? Look at your kid. She is clearly looking up to you to see what she finds; she then knows what is fun, funny or hilarious. Monkey see monkey do.

world consiparcy

I have nothing against Robin Sharma or Paulo Coelho. Though I am sure either would be slightly slighted to see either written in the same breath. But what can I say I abhor them both. Equally. No no … not personally but I don’t like their books. I read one from each author (tried to) and its not that they speak lies; but I don’t need a whole book to know the truth that is apparent in my face. I have spoken about it in the past, and the reason I mention it now is because I was reminded by Paulo’s lines in the Alchemist - “When you want something, the whole Universe conspires to help you realise your desire”.
Ever since our office moved to kalina I have been driving to work. No other convenient option. It’s definitely helped me cut my commute time. But the trade off has been no reading in the trains. I have also in the past written about bad radio programming and the same songs with inane radio jockeys. Aggghhh. Makes my blood boil just thinking about them.
So while browsing around I came across ted.com and their audio downloads. I downloaded a few onto my cell phone and picked up a connection cord to the car deck. WOWieeee….. Driving has become much more pleasurable. From one of the economic blogs I was following I came across and another download with an economist. I love it! I was wondering what to do with my driving frustrations and the options emerged. There is a wealth of data there. I am still not ready for audio books on serious topics but this stuff is welcome spring water. If you know of interesting interviews on audio download with anyone at all, anyone – sports, entertainment, economy, business, vagabonds.. Whatever.. Please send me a link. In fact send me a link for any interesting audio downloads. Yes I know podcasts have been there since evolution. But I was never the music types and hence never took to the ipod. Hence podcasts gave me the miss. I have been trying to figure out a way to stay connected to podcasts with out itunes or any software (office laptop does not allow installations). So I am pretty limited. Learnoutloud.com is one discovery. Many more to follow I am sure.

So there I was reminded of The Alchemist. But did I need to read the whole book to know this? No, for sure not. I knew of it in many different ways, but I guess reading the book helped me remember it. so I guess in that way it was useful, but as a rational thinker one must ask ‘at what margin?’. The time and money spent to read that book so that you remember the obvious? Nopes. I have better things to read and do and spend on.

mirror mirror on the wall... show the guy who screwed it up all

Well… Jispa had her Hinid exam and it was all the easy words. No eravat and no charan. Some aaloos instead. All’s well that aaloos well I guess.

This is an interesting video that I came across today morning. Elizabeth gilbert gives an interesting talk about how to deal with the genius in your life. I guess a lot of it would make imminent sense to the Indian who has been fed this dose of karma ever since he was born. As rationals as we have grown up, we have felt disillusionment with the rituals of worship and hence Jasmine and me have been vary and have taught Jispa not to believe in them. But at the same time we realize that spirituality is baby we do not want to lose with the bath water.

Thinking about this talk I realized that I too have a defense mechanism. My mechanism keeps finding fault in whatever good that I have done. Keep trying to improve it for the next time, keep attributing it to good fortune; reminding myself that a 1 percent probability only means that …1 percent probability. That one instance can happen now, can happen again and could probably occur five times in a row. The probability law only will help you realize that you are now probably good for the next five hundred occurrences. I keep telling my reportees that being good is not an option and don’t really expect to be praised. It’s your job to be good. You get a salary. Its par for the course. Going outside and exceeding expectations, giving people what they did not know possible or more importantly what you did not know possible is what counts. “to act that each tomorrow finds us further than today”. I learnt this from my god Dharen Chadha. He never taught me this but I learnt it alright. Eklavya anyone?

There is another interesting theory of the level five leaders. There many attributes but one that strikes me is of the window and the mirror. “The Level 5 leaders looked out of the window to credit others for success and looked in the mirror to apportion responsibility when things didn't go to plan”. Click here for original Jim Collins article.

testing times

Jispa is going through her reviews at school. Now that she is in the first standard these would be her first quasi – exams. I always hated exams and I still sometimes get nightmares that I am horribily unprepared, which at many times would have been an accurate representation of reality. I wonder how I got through college passing the exams. Econometrics was a famous one. I still don’t know what the hell it means. And I passed it. I don’t know how. In 11th standard in commerce we had an option to choose between Math and SP. Now in tenth I scored a whopping 147 on 150 in math with 74 in algebra and 73 in Geometry. I know for a fact that I only got one mark in algebra wrong. It was first of the fill in the blanks. They had five marks of fill in the blanks. The first one being some sort of a quiz question. Something like is 1 an integer or something like that. Rest were all perfect sums. The word was that they purposely cut marks if you hit 75 else they have to give you an award or something. So basically I was something of a math cat. Hence in 11th I said chuck it, lets take SP and work at math in FYBCom later. What is SP? Er…. Secretarial practice. They basically teach us letter writing and other correspondence. I think was designed to help weak math students from running away from 11th. I can’t believe I did that. Though I am pretty happy I did that. I just traded in my favorite subject for letter writing. Not that subject helped me too much but one thing I can tell you for sure, I write more letters (emails) in a day than I do math sums. The math sums we do are learnt in the 5th grade tops. At least it gave me some more time for doing nothing in college. Doing nothing got me my wife. Beat that Mr. Mathematician.
In FYBCOM, when math was reintroduced for a year, I took classes and in those I was happy that I hadn’t lost my touch. I was good as ever solving and understanding derivates better than others, a mile ahead of the lot.
Over the years I have come to the conclusion that math for me is visual I don’t see numbers I see parts and wholes. The other day when we were buying 18 pieces of something at 5 each, my friend along with calculated 18X5 while I did 20X5 minus 10. he did not understand why I did that. I have been doing that since I can remember. 7 is a bottom half number in my head while 3 is a top half number. Similarly 27 is a bottom half number while 124 is a top half number. I see rows of tens, twentys and thritys etc and the additions are done by changing rows. So 27 plus 27 is a 40 plus 4 and a row change and is therefore 54. Weird…
So coming back to FY. I crack the classes but when we begin to start study a fortnight before the exams, I open my notes and I see the sums and my head reels. I can’t remember any of these sums. They are all the derivate sums that mean nothing to me. For some reason I forget them all. What the hell am I going to do? We study some old papers and we realize the pattern of marks. 20 marks for simple algebra (the stuff I got 74 on 75 for); so that’s done. Then we have 20 marks for BASIC programming. Yes BASIC programming. How did that get into math class. I dunno but since that was stuff that I had done in 9th standard that would have been a breeze, only thing is that I needed to brush it up a bit. Jasmine was the cat at BASIC and she taught me stuff. So there attempting 40 marks and getting a little more than 35 was the aim… actually anything more than 34 was acceptable :). Maa mein pass ho gaya, maa… mein pass ho gaya… And math was my super favorite subject. So I guess you would know how I would have fared at the other subjects. But in spite of all that I have no clue how I passed with first class through out. I guess the fact that accounts was really simple as a subject might have something to do with it and the other subjects required little knowledge else expect the ability to write long English.
But an accounts was another wild story. In 11th I was out of school and flying on my independent wings. So I sat in my first unit tests and got some 7 marks on 50 and then in the first semester exam I got some 2 marks on hundred. My really sweet class teacher (her name was Ms. Vahi) takes me one side and says, “dear boy, you might be the CR but do know that if you do not get 105 aggregate in all you four exams in a subject, you will repeat the year. You WILL repeat the year.” The penny dropped. I studied for the second unit test. Took classes from my sister on reconciliation of errors and topped the class (second I think). Some things went wrong in the final and I missed on the scores. I did not realize that I have to pay attention to trial balance (the basic of accounting) and that would carry most marks. Hence my aggregate came to something like 75. I was doomed to fail. Another obscure came to my aid – you need 75 in three subjects and 105 in three subjects to pass. Hence you could get a total of 30 marks in three subjects each as grace. Maa mein pass ho gaya, maa… mein pass ho gaya…
Wow. I am sure Ms. Vahi gave me some grace to hit 75 so that I hit the grace marks to pass. I can’t believe I risked that. That was staying on the edge… the very precipitous stupid edge. But alls well that ends well.

Well this post was about Jispa’s reviews. Now you know what stand I have on exams and I don’t really want to put any more burden on her. The first review has been a test of our belief. We don’t want to send message that school is trivial yet we don’t want it to scare her. On other subjects she would do great but hindi is omsething she might be a bit lower than her own average. So we did a small take up and I realized it required brushing up on my Hindi. Udbilava, jata, eravat, were some words amongst others that I might have got stumped on. Jispa knew 90 percent of her words so I just wrote down al the words in English and she had to give me the Hindi versions. Underlining and constantly asking her the 10percent words helped her I guess. We started yesterday and continued till the bus stop today. By the time she left, she knew them all. one remained specially tricky –charan. I told her remember that you don’t put feet in your moth but you do put your favorite churan. That’s how you remember. She remembers ilag by enlarge…hehehehe.

This was fun. Jispa’s first review saw us on the test!

Angel Angel

Jispa is so besotted by Angel (my brother’s dog) that she invented a new game Angel Angel. She has taught this to everyone at her school and her other friends outside school. They play angel angel all the time. Where ever they meet, whenever they meet. Its quite a craze. Obviously it means jumping around, crawling around and getting horribly dirty everywhere. The mothers are a bit tired with all this crawling and barking. These are obviously the mothers of the core gang that Jispa has. In fact they have seriously considered banning Angel Angel. I am serious. And it’s not the mothers who are to blame here. It can get quite irritating looking at the kids panting like dogs all the time. Why would they want to play dog, god alone knows but yes in the game there are masters and there are the dogs. And it is privileged to be the dog. And I guess because Jispa can run around like a dog better than others, she kind of becomes the pivot of the game. She looks like Mowgli roaming around the house. The same tiny wire frame doing all kinds of mind numbing twists and turns.
Yesterday they were playing Angel Angel with a twist. Angel had super powers that she could transfer to her masters. Whatever!

Just then one mother told me of an ad by Surf excel and that it reminded her of Jispa . We searched the net and we all saw it. Yup.. that’s her allright. They peeped into my house and got the inspiration I guess. When we all did see the ad, Jasmine and we were worried that this was akin to showing the monkey where the razor was kept

space fight

Sometimes I wonder how petty we can get. When we shifted into the new office, in about a fortnight a horrific grapevine set the floor abuzz. It seemed some senior manager was quite sore about the cabin he got. He didn’t like it. He looked around other cabins and realized that … horror of horrors, Oh my god, his cabin was smaller than his mere mortal neighbor whom he allegedly outranked. He threw a fit. He screamed and shouted around and said that dam it, his cabin looks smaller. He then … yes… he did it… he got the human resource flunky to come in with a measuring tape and measure the length of the cabin. It was smaller. Now I don’t know how smaller is smaller, but I have seen the two cabins and let me tell you, I think they look the same. So he threw a fit again screamed a bit, then a bit more and brought the whole floor down. He is still sitting there though so I really don’t know who benefited from all this. He probably lost a bit in the process.

I guess a lot of us corporate junkies eye every little perk in the business including cabin sizes. There aren’t too many people who can say that they are detached from it all. But knowing that this office is a temporary place from where we should be shifting a year from now, what’s the big deal. The reverse will be told to you. You better scream now or you will never be heard. Next time they would be wary of messing with you on anything. Well I don’t know. There is some truth in the argument but I guess each one will have to choose his fight. I for one don’t want to fight on cabin space. I hate cabins to start with. Give me salary, designations and real perks then I am game for a fight. A few mm of space? Go on take mine….there are multiple barriers in my mind before I would pick the cabin space fight… To start – I need to realize that his is bigger than mine (the cabin space you nitwit). Then I need to see a fault with it. then I must feel no shame to make it a big issue, then I must feel the need to trouble someone with the measuring tape and then I must feel the need to shout about it to all who would care to listen. I think there are too many barriers to this.

To all those who care to listen… if I were to ever behave like this… do me a favor and shoot me... noooo…not with a gun. You are a real nitwit you know that. You should just shoot me with a handy cam. Play it back to me and I would die of embarrassment. This was you wouldn’t be guilty of culpable homicide not amounting to murder.

guava economics

Peru, also known as guava. A lovely fruit a zillion hard seeds. Some like it ripe, some have it …well… unripe or is it called raw? But yes some like it really hard and green and some soft and yellow. What dictates your taste? Well as the answer turns out, it depends on the soil condition of your home town. Yes I realize, this piece is highly inspired by behavioral scientists like Dan Ariely and economists like Steven Lewitt. Well I have reading a bit and listening to them on ted.com a tad too much. But that does not take away the finding… allow me…

So how do you like your guava?

While I walk into office from the parking lot everyday, I see a guava cart. The man sells guavas for three four or five bucks a piece. You have an option of choosing how rip you want it, both extremities included. I like them slightly ripe, not complete. Light green or just about yellow not rotting yellow. And I figure they are healthy so yesterday while I was at office instead of having chips or other snacks I sent my peon to get me one guava worth five bucks. I told him to get one and put a bit of salt (not too much). He gets me one really really raw piece. As I sink my teeth in it, I could feel the hard skin and the hard middle. Hard seeds as well. I threw away half of it after forcing myself to eat one half.
I kept wondering. This peon of mine, Vinod, is really a sweet guy. Vinod has grown up in a village and he knows his fruits. During the Mango season he gets us a few choicest of the yellow fruit and he explains exactly how to have them.
And I think he likes me (I hope0. so why would he get me a bad piece? This raw? Today I felt like having another one. I give him five bucks and ask him to get one but this time I told him, get me a slightly ripe piece. Sure enough a tasty ripe one comes along. He likes me :D.
I wondered a bit and then asked him. You like guava’s raw isn’t it? Yes he said. A bit of asking revealed this. He always eats them raw. In his village guavas don’t grow that much. Small trees with a little fruit grow. So typically they pluck the ones that are easily accessible. It’s not a crop that is grown for a commercial harvest. Since there is little fruit, if they do leave it to ripen, the kids throw stones and eat it. The ones that are on top are ones that ripen because no body else reaches them. "Only parrots eat ripe guavas" (I dont think he realised he called me a parrot). They reach on top and eat them. He is from konkan. He says Nashik, Shirdi, Pune are other places where guavas grow well due to the soil conditions. There you get trees with plenty of fruit and are grown commercially. There you get ripe guavas. Since they are plenty of them. In his village no one grows or eats ripe guavas. It is always plucked and eaten raw.
A ha, that’s why he got me a nice beautiful raw guava. I think he spent some time picking the rawest guava he could get his hands on. After all the soil conditions in his village don’t exactly favor ripening of guavas.
There you are… a freak answer to a simple issue.

try em, dry em

Economic slowdown does throw up some funny insights into human behavior. Let me explain one such… the admin fellows were set upon cost cutting in all possible ways. One of the holy cows that they decided was not so holy was tissues in the bathroom. Well the tissue rolls nest to the pot were definitely holy cow but the paper napkins next to the basin were obvious manifestations of sin. So precise excel sheet calculations showed that these alone cost the company more than 3 lakhs a year. Off they go. The gloomy external environment ensured the silence. And the dam hairdryer was there since inception in case you wanted to dry your hands.
I for now was completely for it. I grew up without it and I though it was a colossal waste. The hand dryer was there and so was the humble roomal (napkin) in your pocket. Didn’t your mother ensure you always went with one? It was pinned to your shirt in kindergarten, so that you don’t lick your runny nose outflows. Whenever I saw the dustbin full of used crumpled tissues, I felt that the culture had gotten a bit too far. Especially when people use more tissues when one should be enough.
So there, in place of the tissue dispenser, there remained two screws as a mute testimony to what had been.
But here is the interesting part. I now see people in front of the dryer…well.. drying. Nothing interesting till you see what they are drying – it’s the humble napkin that their momma (or wife) put in their pockets! I assume they wash their hands, take out the napkin, wipe their hands and then hold out the napkin in front of the dryer and dry their napkins. It is true. If only my cell camera worked I would shown you the picture. And this is not an isolated incident. I have seen multiple people so this. Stand in front of the dryer for some time (they dry that fast) holding them by the edges, turning the dam thing over. I wonder what this would have done to the electricity bill, though! Its fun to watch them. What must be the reason for this behavior? Would an economist theorize?

On another note when was the last time an ad made you get goose bumps?
Watch this one…



I dont about you but I felt something

pop...she goes

Jispa wanted to stay up till late one fine day. Jasmine told her, sure you can. But you need to then get up on your own, get ready on your own and have your breakfast on your own. When you sleep late we have a tough time getting you ready for school. So do this for a month (prove you can) and you can stay late. This was the deal jasmine cut with her. Since I was the one waking and bathing her (and enjoying it), I felt cut off from the deal. Yesterday she woke up, had her bath got ready… all on her own. We just told her the alarm is ringing wake UP. So I was feeling a bit sad that she has finally grown up and I would not be required… for now…
Today when we woke her up, we told her… come on… get up and do your stuff on your own.. she replied “aaaa…ummm…I bunking that today…” pop she went back…

Well good times don’t last do they?

Completely unrelated - I came across this awesome quote:
I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

what does angel know

While the house work is on we are staying at our brother’s place. The highlight of the stay is obviously his dog Angel. Its great fun to come home and get greeted by Angel. She is so loving and adorable. I do need to thank Angel for helping overcome some mind block. Getting kissed by a dog is one. Especially if you consider that a dog kiss is actually a dog lick. I take my lips in and put my face close to her when I come home. Awesome. In the morning its also fun to get greeted by Angel as she comes out from my brother’s room. Jispa and I await her.
Quetsion of the day was posed to me today morning by Jispa as she was playing with Angel. “Does a dog know it is a dog?” Err….. “Ask her”. “PAPA!”… “ok… ok.. I don’t know” I answer. Then she goes “does a dog know she is running, sitting, rolling over. does she know?”.
Actually I haven’t a clue. It is a good question Jispa, is all I can think of. I have no clue if a dog knows she is a dog. I guess the domesticated ones kind of live human lives but I sure know that many humans don’t know they live a dog’s life.

let no one tell you...

My blackberry camera has gone on the blink and I do feel quite handicapped without it. Its so much fun to spot something, capture and blog it. But I guess I will have to do something else till such time.
But the of the loss of the camera is replaced by the joy of discovering something awesome. http://www.ted.com/ . It is an awesome site where they put up talks of some amazing people for viewing. The best part is that talks are timed for about 16 minutes forcing people to talk on only what is absolutely relevant and important. It’s just about the time that human brain can focus.
Today I came across (serendipitous) a talk by Ben Saunders. I just love experts talking about their … err…“expertise”. Sports persons especially so. I guess it’s the visible triumph of human achievement. Cracking the genetic code might be of greater consequence or difficulty but a sports person’s achievement has more empathy as we all have felt our own limitations at our arena.
Coming back to Ben Saunders. In 2004, Ben Saunders became the youngest person ever to ski solo to the North Pole. An absolute triumph of human achievement. But the most striking part about the talk is the last bit when he talks about his school report card as a 13 year old. The report card is a telling on the understanding our education system. He says he has framed it and it lies on his wall. It says:

"Ben lacks sufficient impetus to achieve anything worthwhile"

Ben’s response to it:

“No one else is the authority on you potential. You are the only who decides how far you go and what you are capable of”

Well said Ben. Well said.

his talk...

further Ben reading...

please my I disappear? NO, shut up and sit down.

V-inu calls me and wishes me. Then he calls me later in the day saying – he read my post and wants to take back his wishes. Gladly… then he says have you heard Time by Pink Floyd. We search it up and the lines he wants me to read –
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinkingRacing around to come up behind you again The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're olderShorter of breath and one day closer to death
This is what he tells everyone when they come and wishs him. You bloody morose sadist. Then dear V gets our third part of the triumvirate Dee-nesh to read my last post. So Dee-nesh calls up and says I am not wishing you because I read the blog. Ok thank you. How thoughtful of you. He gives me gyan on the improbability of disappearing on this wonderful day. Thank you again for bearing with me. What are friends for after all…
So I am signing off with my disappearance wish highly unfulfilled. I am such a complainer. almost v-inuesque. Actually i am unfair to him. its not that he complains but he is actually angry with the world. Why? Ithink he loves it but hates the fact that he loves it. SOmething like that... nahhh... I am just being mean. He's a good guy. I'll vouch for that. Dee-nesh? Oh, he always was...

who's got the blues?

I remember as a kid counting the days till my birthday. I even remember once counting up to 60 or was it 90 odd days. While we were in Dubai till the 3rd standard my birthday used to fall in the summer vacations so I was mighty excited to shift to Mumbai. I would finally get to wear colored clothes and distribute sweets. Be the centre of attention… ya.. That was good. I liked it. Surely did. Slowly it moved to college where I wanted ot get gifts, cut cakes and again be a star for that day. Cut to office… the fun of celebrating with office guys, cutting cakes etc…. cut to now…..I want to disappear. I have no reason why I am so unexcited by my birthday. I almost forgot I, I didn’t realize it was this week and I gave strict instructions to my gang in office that I will not accept any gifts this year.
I did not bargain on social networking sites publishing the information to all … today I got a few wishes in advance and a few calls asking me my plans.
I really wished for this birthday to be invisible. I wanted no one to wish me, no one to gift me anything, and no one to hug me for sure. Jispa and Jasmine – you are excluded. Angel – you are ok too… I love your kisses any time.
Its not being depressed and morose… it’s just that I feel like being alone, away and reflective. More than being celebratory. I dunno… Actually I just wanted to forget it. But that’s not going to happen. So sit back and enjoy it while it lasts. Thank god its just one day. And like most other things in life... this too shall pass.

fast blow

Yesterday was my tryst with an unmitigated disaster. Jainism has this 8 days of fasting. And am really not the religious types. But since the last couple of years I have been doing a day fast. Basically surviving on water through the day. It’s my way of experiencing hunger or getting my self a detox. Full TP.
So this year I tried one fast yesterday. It went off well through the day – drinking tons of water. Evening the head started hurting and the weakness began to set in. I guess it was the loss of sugar or something. Also contributing was the fact that we have been staying at our in laws ever since the renovation work has been happening at our house – so that means generally sleeping later than usual. So I was sleep deprived. Then in the evening we happened to walk into a theatre and watch Kamine. A dark film with a dozen gangsters thrown in. That was the limit. At interval I stroll out with my head reeling and spinning very fast – I pop in a gelato ice cream and corn cheese nuggets. Later after the movie I drink juice and eat a pear before collapsing in the bed.
Either I was too tired to fast or too old. In any case it dealt my self esteem a decently large blow.

whose head is it in anyway?

I took Jispa to the Queer Parade yesterday. It ended up being quite a non event as far as Jispa was concerned. Before I took her I explained to her that you know who man can love women. “ya’. Man can also love man and women can also love women. “ya”. Ok. Ok. So that was that. A matter of fact for her and a revelation for mankind.

There I was showing her the transgenders and explaining that they are actually men who think they are women and therefore dress as women. “ohh .. ok”. We reached the parade at 3 sharp. Crowd was just about gathering and did not really go anywhere. The heat and the humidity were irritating. Soon enough we left there and headed back home. I guess the parade needs a bit of colorful characters to make it really loud and hence more noticeable. That would get the word flowing and the crowd going. One thing for sure was that I think Jispa was the only child there. So there. One step taken. I don’t know if the step was Jispa’s or mine.

return of the raj

In the era of cost savings I would be pretty sacred to requisition a duster for my white board. So while I have a whiteboard I don’t have a duster. But hell, this is India and labor is ridiculously cheap. In fact it is so cheap that if I have to use my white board, I use it and scribble away as much as possible. Then to erase it I simply call housekeeping. They have a guy on every floor. He comes in with his magic spray and cleans the board. Sometimes I tell him to lean it completely and sometimes I tell him to leave a part of it. I wonder if getting black boards or cheaper than buying your own duster (and helps spread employment) we should soon start this as an outsourcing activity. Don’t wipe it – Bangalore it…
I am not fibbing here. This actually happened. Here … it’s a good thing I have my handy cell phone camera, else you guys just wouldn’t believe me. Would you? I could get used to this. Isn’t this remnant of the raj?

open up

These days I have been reading about the kahp panchyat and how these administrative groups believe in regressive methods and are equally notorious as the Taliban. Any of these right wingers really get my goat. After all these ears we still remain enemies of love. The khap panchayat send out lynch orders for those marrying within the ‘gothra’ (sub sect). They try and control so many elements of life. It is so completely anal. But if I were to think a bit more, just about 15 years ago I had to face resistance from my would be in laws while getting married. Not that it was in any way so severe. They are pretty sweet and they were pretty willing to listen but the fact that they had to be convinced to start with is the point of contention. I am not so sure if my side of the family would have been as amiable if Jasmine had been a Muslim or a Christian. I duuno why would you have issues on this to start with? Why would love marriage be such a dam taboo? In fact one of the things that I am planning to do is go for the queer march on 16th august. I want jispa to know pretty early that she can choose her life partner and it surely can be any sect or sex. I would want her to know that love is truly blind.
The fun would happen in parenting if she gets a doper or a complete nincompoop home. Now that’s going to be one test for me as a father. Rest I am pretty ok with.
I guess the thing is to be a bit open in life. Its tricky but necessary to isolate the cause form the symptom. Yesterday was on case in point. Jasmine’s borther comes home from a prayer meet for a 4 teenagers who died while picnicking at one of Mumbai’s beaches. They had just about gone into the water (knee deep) when they were pulled by the currents. He came in exclaiming “I have decided, no more going to the beach. It is too dangerous”. As he looked at me I knew it would be slightly controversial but I had to reply “more people die in swimming pools than off beaches!” I remembered reading something in freakonomics on more people in US die of swimming pools in homes than guns kept at home (or something like that). My next line was also my favorite line which I use all the time “more people die crossing the road than while on a picnic”. He looked at me. A few invaluable moments of silence and reflection. “beaches are not any more dangerous than roads, but the problem is going in the water in monsoon. The currents are dangerous and are likely to sweep you off. So don’t stop living. Enjoy your beaches but exercise caution and use your brains. It is visibly rough in the monsoon. Stay clear. In calm waters, enjoy”. Tinggg….The score reads one nil.
On right wing fundamentalism – I also read that thanks to their male fixations the sex ratio is getting adversely affected. Wow. There is no better way to finish a race than to somehow produce only males. I could not have given them a better path to self annihilation. The words of Master Oogway from the movie Kung fu panda come to mind “One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it”

Yes. Master Oogway is one of favorite characters ever. Here is a snapshot of his immense wisdom.

Salt and pepper

There are fine dine restaurants and the then there are those which are not. How do you know one from the pretenders? Simple. Look at the salt and pepper bottles. The udipis and the fast food restaurant are the ones who have always got them wrong. There is no consistency in the bottles so as to indicate which is which. Is the ones with fewer holes the salt or is it the other way around. Or is it something to do with the size of the holes. I have seen innumerable diners including myself, completely confused as to which is which. We invariably test one and wonder what comes out. White – now take the other – wow…black… now we know. Sometimes you get two whites or two blacks. I think the best designs here are the transparent containers where there is no mistaking what’s inside. I don’t even trust the ones with the markings P and S on them. I can read but there is no guarantee that the lowest common denominator at the restaurant can. Add to that the sticky Mumbai weather which ensures that salt does not flow and what have you? A complete customer experience. Yesterday we were at this restaurant and when we asked for the salt and pepper. This is what they gave us. So how do you know which is which. Look closer….

The only way to know for sure is to tilt it and see what falls! or else you can smell it and hope the first one is not pepper.

While on the subject. How do you know if your lassi (thick butter milk) is really a thick lassi with malai (cream) in it. You do the spoon buoyancy test. See below. If it floats, it passes, if it sinks, then that’s exactly where it belongs – in the sink. Forgive the absolutely inelegant use of the pun.

make cars to improve life

Every book is interesting. Over the weekend I happened to come across ‘the Toyota way’ by Jeffrey Liker. The art and power of selective reading helped me finish it over the weekend. Don’t go by the book name. it might be primarily about the factory floor but as it was written on the cover – the Toyota way is much about the sate of mind as it is a car company. Very true. If I ever have to head a function that is high on process then the Toyota way will become an interesting book companion. The wikipedia has a comprehensive piece on the same.
While in college I was always enamored by the principle of kaizen meaning constant improvement. Little did I realize the importance of Hansei in Kaizen. The book talks about Americans being unable to really understand Hansei and my guess is that that is the reason why Kaizen does not show up on spell check while hansei does.
The obligatory pat on the back – I had been practicing a form (less intense I guess) of hansei through the last few years.
What is hansei? Hansei ("self-reflection") is a central idea in Japanese culture. Its meaning is to acknowledge your own mistake and to pledge improvement. In Japanese companies it's common practice that a manager expects hansei from his subordinates in case of mistakes. The manager takes the blame in public, whereas the department works on solving the problem. Hansei also means greeting success with modesty and humility. To stop hansei means to stop learning. With hansei one never becomes so convinced of one's own superiority that there is no more room or need for further improvement.
Many Americans have a very difficult time with the constant critiques and focus on the negative (opportunities for improvement). Andy Lund, a Program Manager at Toyota, explains it this way; “people who have not been to Japan may not understand that the objective is not to hurt that individual but to help that individual improve – not to hurt the program but to show flaws to improve the next program. If you understand that deeply, you can get through that constructive criticism. No matter how good a program or a presentation someone makes, we believe there is always something that can be improved, so we feel it is our obligation. It is not an ‘obligatory negative’ but an obligatory opportunity to improve – it is the heart of kaizen”
link1, link 2
I am reminded of the hindi lines uttered by Jasmine’s father “galti karo, sau baar karo, karte raho… par ek galti dubara mut karo” translation – make mistakes a hundred times, keep making them, but never repeat the same mistake.

The trick in life is not 'not to make mistakes'. But to make a lot of them and learning from them and to not repeat them. I have made my fair share and am continuing to make more than fair share of new ones. You can learn from other’s mistakes as well. That is a pretty cool short circuit process as well.
While the concept is easy to understand it is not so easy to implement. It requires one to be open to the fact that one is making mistakes. It requires deep introspection of the mistakes so as to never repeat them. A few years back I was into organizing large format events for our company. My subordinates used to call me ‘ravan’. I will come with my ten heads and think of new angles not visualized. Even after a highly successful event I would make time for introspection and the ‘obligatory negative / opportunity’. In events success can pretty much go to your head. I would try and guard against it. Yes it was a great event, but I am paid to do that. What is important is that we have lowered the probability of shit happening by thinking through and working hard. A 1% probability of anything happening then it means that in a hundred events that thing will definitely happen. With its occurrence will be the termination of my job. So after every event I would focus on the job, what went wrong, what could have gone wrong but didn’t, what went wrong but was controlled. I am generally less effusive in the praise unless I see something truly extraordinary. I don’t know if I should change that part of me though. Probably people deserve a bit of praise but I find it dishonest to give praise unless it truly deserves.
If one is reflective in success and failure then one understands the reason behind it and is able to better handle it. Both require handling and introspection…. Hansei

Another interesting concept is the Genchi Genbutsu. Go and see for yourself to thoroughly understand the situation. This is something I recently blogged about. Get off your high horse and outside your ivory tower and see for yourself what is going on. Extremely important for any function. I can vouch for that in marketing for sure.

A post script on the concept of praising:-
There is strategy involved in giving and interpreting compliments. Let’s say you hear someone play a difficult –but not too difficult– piece on the piano, and she plays it well. Is it a compliment if you tell her she played it beautifully?
That depends. You would not be impressed by the not-so-difficult piece if you knew that she was an outstanding pianist. So if you tell her you are impressed, then you are telling her that you don’t think she is an outstanding pianist. And if she is, or aspires to be, an outstanding pianist, then your attempted compliment is in fact an insult.
This means that, in most cases, the best way to compliment the highly accomplished is not to offer any compliment at all. This conveys that all of her fine accomplishments are exactly what you expected of her. But, do wait for when she really outdoes herself and then tell her so. You don’t want her to think that you are someone who just never gives compliments. Once that is taken care of, she will know how to properly interpret your usual silence.
source: http://www.marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2009/08/via-youknowwho.html

unemployment and a tooth

On Saturday my wife asked me to help her with making the theplas. Theplas is a type of gujju roti. So her job was to give me the dough all ready and in the right shape and I was to cook it on the stove. I had done this in the past before so I was pretty comfortable. As she churned out the raw material faster and faster the pressure was on me to keep the stuff going. Then Wifey comes out with one more pan and starts two at a time. On one pan the theplas get heated, then they get transferred to the other pan where I oil them on one side, cook a bit, then oil them on the other, cook a bit and throw them onto a pile. I was feeling pretty happy helping her finish the work fast. My servant also looked surprised to see me helping with the theplas. I was trying to do my part of the deal faster and was completely stressed out.
Then suddenly it struck me. I asked Jasmine “me helping is not really helping you do it faster is it? I think you would do all this without me at the same speed… isn’t it?” jasmine says “ya, I do all of this together at the same speed”
Hmmm… I remembered this theory of economics that we had learnt at college. I think it was in the first year. Suppose there is an acre of farm land that the farmer is tending to for years. After he has a couple of sons they to join in the farming as extra hands. So now we would have three heads employed, but if the productivity of the farm land has not gone up in the same ratio then we have what is called ‘disguised unemployment’. It just looks as if more are employed while the net effect is actually negative.
You get the drift….
Disguised unemployment at work.

One more tooth in the life of Jispa and her tooth fairy. Here is the long and shot of it. The ‘OK’ with the circle is her response to the entire episode. The no5 in the top corner is my wife clarifying which tooth number this is.

is it still big?

Conferences are done by various agencies. Some big some small. They have varying formats and objectives. But one thing remains the same. They are all extremely boring. I got one invite from a retail consulting firm and I just passed it on to the kids as there was an interesting element in the invite. I improve by copying enough! The kids instead looked and said – “please can we all go, PLEASE!” “What shit… I am not going to this shit. Its pathetic. But then they were all senti.. They thought just because I had seen it all I was refusing them the chance to be there. So I say fine... We go. Today was the day. I went in the morning and sat for one panel discussion. I saw no point in sitting further. I attended some other meeting in town and got back to office. But like every thing this too had a silver lining – we had Bhasker the MD of Titan talking. He is clearly way above the rest of the world. He has a fine marketing and business brain. Now I know why Jasmine’s brother goes gaga over the guy and company. He is truly quite a remarkable guy. He knows the difference between opinion, fact and feeling, and talks accordingly.
But the rest are still good old boring. The kids attended the entire thing. Now at least they will believe it when I say all conferences are boring. Conference jaane ka bhoot uthar gayeja. Speaker after boring speaker, power point fatigue and no insight. It’s amazing to see so many people with so little to do and that too from the top. I think its one these elephant bumping sessions… just making sure and reinforcing that your elephantine arse is still as big as ever.

what do you think about it?

"The new identity builds on and expands the foundation of investment expertise that we have created over decades. It has been crafted in line with the organization’s philosophy and endeavor to continuously unearth value and create a brand association in line with changing consumer paradigms. Against the backdrop of the global financial crisis, which completely altered the way financial institutions across the globe will function, we have recognized the shift in the Indian consumer's mood, orientation and mindset."

This is something I came across in my random surfing. What does it say… probably nothing. This is something we marketers put inside a press release and send it out to newspapers that end up carrying it. Most of the time they just paste it as is. No insight, no analysis. Monkey food. Look at the quote closely. It is about a brand with a new tag line. Does it help the brand? Does it give any insight into the reason for the change in line? You could take that paragraph and put it into any dam press release and no one would know. No one. I promise you. Whose fault is it? The PR person who drafted the release or the boss who had nothing to say? Both I guess. To use an old hindi one – taali donno haath se bajti hai. You need two hands to clap.

I many times see the insular nature of people as they move to the top. I had a bit of time to reflect on this as I was getting my shoes polished. The cobbler under the building take s around ten minutes to polish your shoes. He charges ten bucks but he keeps scrubbing your shoes. I realized that he would take quite some time soon enough. He had a decently clean shack and so I sat on seat made by the stones, next to him. Some peons of my office came to get their shoes repaired and were quite amused to see me happily sitting there. As the guys get senior they have access to peons and the workforce to do things for them. They come in AC cars, fly in planes, drink in five star joints and sit inside their cabins. They eat on their own and work on their own. Not too many guys venture outside their comfort zone. It’s funny how insular we can get. We then lose track of reality and how the world actually is…no wonder our insights are so bloody insular. The functional heads don’t meet customers, don’t really listen, don’t ask questions and generally give a miss to research happening around. I have seen this happen in every organization and at all levels. Even marketing managers commission research and then leave it to the agency to figure and present the findings in an air conditioned meeting room with butter biscuits. I have never understood why commercials are shown on a big screen in a darkened room with superior sound. Is that how most of your clients / customers going to see it? Their rooms are likely to have enough ambient noise and lighting. Simulate a home with the given distractions and show it on a 21 inch non flat TV. Now please tell what you think about it? Feedback please

daddy dearest

It is easily the most thankless job in the world. It ranks higher than sewer cleaners and marketing managers at financial firms. It is the job of waking up your kid for school. I can’t think of any job that is more necessary but is more despised by the beneficiary than this. As kids get older this gets tougher. They want to sleep more and more. They get even more lazy in the morning and even more ‘frowny’. But hell it’s a dog’s… oops a dad’s life and someone’s got to do it.
Wakey wakey wakey….
I too hated being made to get up and we were three kids. I don’t really blame my mother for screaming…. GET UP… mothers tend to be busy, hassled and on a short fuse in the morning. Jasmine so far has been quite patient. But I guess that’s because every day waking Jispa every day has been my job. I want to see Jasmine patient if she has to wake up Jispa every morning. It can be testing.

image-ination

Jispa was unwell and upset at having to miss school. I was taking her photo and she was avoiding getting shot. This is what we get...

Today is friendship day or something. Jispa's bus friend (as pictured) ties me a friendship band, 'uncle, I got a band for you as well' she said after tying one to Jispa. Gee thanks...

Coffee with cream. So sinful and so tasty. good thing my metabolism allows me these sins.

The Landmark store at pune. Landmark sure has an awesoem collection of books. Interestingly the giftwrapping is done by the security lady. A tough lady with deft hands. She wraps pretty neat. Even my wife was impressed. Jasmine does have very high standards.

Me and Dinesh. I couldnt have posed any more filmy!

awwww......