Jispa is now facing the end of her honeymoon period. She has had a lovely time so far in school. School has been all about fun, colour, stories, enjoyment and merry making. Slowly it is getting into the business of teaching… hard and cold stuff.
This week she moved into second standard. Second standard is no easy frilly stuff. It has the making of a transition into “mini responsible studenthood”. She was telling me that here in the class she has no time now. Teacher is always telling or making us do something. She is everyday making us write stuff in the diary. She dictates and we have to write. She does not wait for us. Earlier the class teacher used to wait for everyone to finish and there was some time afterwards. Now she starts teaching us something or making us write something or something or the other.
She is seeing the cultural change. I guess the school is managing this pretty cool. Reviews, writing, languages etc. the change has been gradual but sure footed I guess. She so far had a whale of a time and loved school. The challenge will be to continue this and transition this well. Everyone asked me about her school and how cool was it. I used to always say that Jispa was enjoying it and how. But I always qualify the statement by saying, its only primary yet. The test will come afterwards.
I don’t know how I am going to react to all this. I am not too keen on making her study too hard. I don’t want to push her but I don’t want her to be wanting because I did not push her enough. Parents need to push but they also need to know how much and more importantly when to stop.
Everyday in the morning I see the kids closing their swimming class and getting ready for school. They get fed, or some are being taught or revisions are in progress and some are just rushing. Today seemed to be some relaxed day. I came in and I saw them pleading with the coach. The coach nodded and then all of them rushed into the kiddy pool and started throwing some socks around as if it was a ball. The champion swimmers frolicking in the kiddy pool. The attendant was then protesting ‘come out of there, come out’. I spoke to her. “Let them be. They are kids. Every day we train them like crazy. We forget that they are also kids. They also need to have fun.” She protested that according to the management only kids less than three years old are allowed in there. I left a parting remark saying ‘let them be’. I remembered my take away from Gandhi – if you think the rule is dumb and unfair then it is your duty to break it.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
keep runnning
I lived in Dubai till I was in the third standard. One of the fun things we had was going on picnics with friends and family in tow. Large numbers all deciding to get together running to some part of Dubai. Sometimes we hit the dunes and sometimes we hit some hidden oasis. I still have fond memories of them. I reckon that the memories are today etched deeper thanks to all the photographs. Though I still retain some vivid recollections which are not picture led.
One of the favourite picnic places was a place called Safa Park. This was a large garden as I remember. We used to go and play games, cricket and other stuff. It was fun to play with everybody, adults and children alike. We used to look forward to these picnics.
On Saturday we took some kids for to the park behind my building. This is supremely well maintained park with plenty of lawns and one particularly large one. We made the kids play and they really enjoyed. That set me thinking. Why not do it in proper style. So I planned a proper outing. Back in the same place, but his time with a tent and enough Tang and sandwiches. O got poor jasmine enlisted and gathered the kids. All the kids have tents these days. The lovely ones that jus need opening to be set up. One mother also joined in. one sent her maid and one set of parents came along. Perfect to play chain chain, tis kit and tasket, four corners, lock and key etc. The kids enjoyed it and I enjoyed it as well.
I think it was important that the few mother who came, did. The kids got to play outdoors with the mommies and they had a whale of a time. It’s very important to play with your children and not merely take them for a game. One of the boys wanted to play Frisbee and I loved to teach him as well. After he got better at it he screamed out to his dad to see him. It was important that his dad know / appreciate his new found skill.
That way I always wondered how parents are ever willing to throw their kids into vacation camps etc. it doesn’t really take too much to get the kids and a few friends together and throw them in a park with just a little guidance on new games to play.
One of friends in school was a guy called Vijay Venkatesh. I remember his dad used to make all the children play games after schools. I loved playing with them. This memory would be around 25 years old I guess. But it’s stayed with me.
But I didn’t think of all this when I planned this outing. I just wanted to have fun with the kids. It keeps me happy, active and gets me some quality time with the kids. It’s fun to observe them and see them compete. It’s also making Jispa an active kid. She runs the most, runs the fastest and her legs hurt the least.
I think these options have emerged because of the fact that we don’t have a TV at home; else I would have watched movies and worse still cricket. With IPL beaming a large number of matches so many people stay glued in front of the action rather than being a part of it. Unacceptable.
One of the favourite picnic places was a place called Safa Park. This was a large garden as I remember. We used to go and play games, cricket and other stuff. It was fun to play with everybody, adults and children alike. We used to look forward to these picnics.
On Saturday we took some kids for to the park behind my building. This is supremely well maintained park with plenty of lawns and one particularly large one. We made the kids play and they really enjoyed. That set me thinking. Why not do it in proper style. So I planned a proper outing. Back in the same place, but his time with a tent and enough Tang and sandwiches. O got poor jasmine enlisted and gathered the kids. All the kids have tents these days. The lovely ones that jus need opening to be set up. One mother also joined in. one sent her maid and one set of parents came along. Perfect to play chain chain, tis kit and tasket, four corners, lock and key etc. The kids enjoyed it and I enjoyed it as well.
I think it was important that the few mother who came, did. The kids got to play outdoors with the mommies and they had a whale of a time. It’s very important to play with your children and not merely take them for a game. One of the boys wanted to play Frisbee and I loved to teach him as well. After he got better at it he screamed out to his dad to see him. It was important that his dad know / appreciate his new found skill.
That way I always wondered how parents are ever willing to throw their kids into vacation camps etc. it doesn’t really take too much to get the kids and a few friends together and throw them in a park with just a little guidance on new games to play.
One of friends in school was a guy called Vijay Venkatesh. I remember his dad used to make all the children play games after schools. I loved playing with them. This memory would be around 25 years old I guess. But it’s stayed with me.
But I didn’t think of all this when I planned this outing. I just wanted to have fun with the kids. It keeps me happy, active and gets me some quality time with the kids. It’s fun to observe them and see them compete. It’s also making Jispa an active kid. She runs the most, runs the fastest and her legs hurt the least.
I think these options have emerged because of the fact that we don’t have a TV at home; else I would have watched movies and worse still cricket. With IPL beaming a large number of matches so many people stay glued in front of the action rather than being a part of it. Unacceptable.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
you have no right to shoot anyone
I have had quite a liberal opinion on having cameras installed everywhere. I mean if you are doing nothing wrong what’s the harm in having a camera around. My best learning on this was when I was briefly working at Star TV. They had two offices one at Mahalaxmi and the other at Andheri east. The Mahalaxmi one was a virtual fortress with cameras installed, while the Andheri one was a bit more relaxed and no cameras. I routinely heard of mobiles and other stuff (props/ merchandise etc) being flicked from the tables at Andheri office and absolutely nothing being lost or stolen in the other office.
I was convinced. Same organisation, same set of people moving between offices. The deterrents were the CC TV cameras. And when the cameras got installed in my current office I was the guy wondering what the hue and cry is about. It’s a good thing. I have nothing to hide and more so, who on earth has the time to look at it. No one is actually sitting and recoding whether I am actually working or not. It’s not like that data is going to decide my salary and bonus.
Yesterday I saw the movie LSD, love sex and dhoka. Dipankar the director seems to be the guy who has a complete grip on the Delhi stereo type. He perfectly hit them in his movies, well at least he has hit the Mumbai interpretation of the sleazy Delhi stereotype. I always hated Delhi and I always hated its people. Delhi is a place you need to go to in order to reach Uttaranchal. It is a necessary evil. But that is beside the point. The movie got me so uncomfortable that I wanted to walk out from it. he managed to make me believe in the characters and I hated to see anything bad happen to them. The first two stories for sure. The tension of the two lovers who eloped without their parents wishes really got to me. Jasmine and I were going around for around 4 years without her parents knowing. I wasn’t so stressed about my parents knowing. They eventually knew and I assumed no opposition. But Jasmine’s parents were another thing. Her dad was conservative enough not to let her wear pants and her eldest brother was a pain enough (now completely sweet) to cause stress. We lived in the mortal fear of being found out all the time. Some a-hole cousins of hers did not actually help as well. Roaming around was a distress. How to express love and be discreet at the same time. Aren’t youngsters in love oblivious to all around? And at the same time be on guard against possible snoops?
Watching the movie made me squirm and feel really depressed. It triggered all the fears I lived as a teenager in love. This is the first film I actually felt that fear. All other movies one does not really care too much.
The second and most poignant story was about a guy using the store cameras to keep a watch on women and about how it can be used to capture private moments without permission. That one has really set me thinking about CC TVs. CC TV is probably good as a deterrent but who on earth owns these images. If you are shooting without my permission then are you allowed to use them elsewhere or anywhere or against me or anything, without my permission? What the laws safeguarding these. More pertinent, what eth rules that control access and use of this. As a company, you have put the dam thing in place and are recording everything. What is the policy on who gets access to these recordings? How do you monitor them, how do you store them and how do you destroy them? Forget the corporate. What about the stores. They would be even more lax about their policies and checks and balances. What about the city and the public places. I can’t trust the government to ensure privacy of my licence details, how do I trust them with digital images. Police stations are places I don’t want to go, leave aside my family. I would much rather avoid the place. Will I trust them with what I perceive my digital rights? All this in the face of the plan to wire eth city with cameras, a la London.
With cameras getting smaller and powerful, it is given that people will use them misuse them. But it is vary painful to see it uncontrolled. Seeing my camera some colleagues caught onto photography and I got them digital cameras with 12X zoom which is pretty powerful. He had gone abroad and while he was showing his photos, one photo made me cringe. He had taken a photo of a lady in T shirt that showed her cleavage. I was so repulsed. How dare you click someone without their permission and that too with your ugly intentions? He is good educated guy and a genuinely nice guy otherwise. He saw no wrong in taking the photo and no wrong in showing it to us. I cringed and blamed my self for teaching him photography.
If this is the state of normal nice people, how do trust the broad junta? This will increasingly be a part of our lives and will come up discussion sooner or later. The problem will happen when the right wings will put the fear of terror in our heads to install it and the left will simply seek to ban it. Neither will make sense. But I guess the answer will come when we realise that digital power is a great power and as spidey realised – with great power comes great responsibility. We must enact strong laws and procedures that stops misuse and puts checks and balances in place.
We must realise that merely putting in cameras might stop pilferage but will also put your customers at risk. Customers must vote with their feet if they find retailers with cameras and no strong policies in place regarding their use.
I could go on and on. I feel so strongly. Rarely has a film come that made me shape my opinion so strongly. The second story had believable characters. The male actor is a believable guy with grey all over. A perfect example of a guy who is not sure of his moral standing and is pushed over by external forces. Its very real. I have seen guys like that as well his friend who pushes him over. Guys who are so perverted that they mentally undress a women the moment they see her. These are real ------ (I can’t think of a strong enough word), who have only one conversation and one agenda on their mind. Many times all it requires is just a tip. Most are so delicately balanced. All of us have these fine lines which we balance all the time. It does not really matter most of the time as the person affected is mostly ourselves but what happens in cases where someone else is at stake and the lure so powerful. I really felt for the female lead. Rashmi. My heart reached out to her. She is the symbol of all the porn clip victims that people have circulated in fulfilling their voyeuristic pleasures. Suddenly I feel sad at the clips that my friends showed me. I am not against porn, but Rashmi made me see the distinction between porn and peep. I can’t get that girl off my mind since yesterday. I don’t think I will forget her too soon.
The third story is an interesting (but not so touching) take on stng operations. I was watching TV at my mom in laws place and some TV channel was doing a n expose on some sadhu. I am not a fan of either TV news or the sadhus. My BIL was watching and commenting on the sad state of affairs with the sadhu in question. I merely asked, how can you be so sure that the channel is telling the truth and it has not planted this all. How on earth can they get the right to go inside the case which is under investigation of the police? Why should you believe them? How is all this allowed and fair game? He had no answer. Sting operations along with broadcasting ability – absolute power. Where is the responsibility?
When I came out of the movie, I told Jasmine – what a depressing movie. That was a compliment.
PS: this movie is produced by the house that is known for introducing the saas bahu tele-serials which are so painfully regressive. Comes as a refreshing twist. Ekta Kappor almost redeemed herself. Almost.
I was convinced. Same organisation, same set of people moving between offices. The deterrents were the CC TV cameras. And when the cameras got installed in my current office I was the guy wondering what the hue and cry is about. It’s a good thing. I have nothing to hide and more so, who on earth has the time to look at it. No one is actually sitting and recoding whether I am actually working or not. It’s not like that data is going to decide my salary and bonus.
Yesterday I saw the movie LSD, love sex and dhoka. Dipankar the director seems to be the guy who has a complete grip on the Delhi stereo type. He perfectly hit them in his movies, well at least he has hit the Mumbai interpretation of the sleazy Delhi stereotype. I always hated Delhi and I always hated its people. Delhi is a place you need to go to in order to reach Uttaranchal. It is a necessary evil. But that is beside the point. The movie got me so uncomfortable that I wanted to walk out from it. he managed to make me believe in the characters and I hated to see anything bad happen to them. The first two stories for sure. The tension of the two lovers who eloped without their parents wishes really got to me. Jasmine and I were going around for around 4 years without her parents knowing. I wasn’t so stressed about my parents knowing. They eventually knew and I assumed no opposition. But Jasmine’s parents were another thing. Her dad was conservative enough not to let her wear pants and her eldest brother was a pain enough (now completely sweet) to cause stress. We lived in the mortal fear of being found out all the time. Some a-hole cousins of hers did not actually help as well. Roaming around was a distress. How to express love and be discreet at the same time. Aren’t youngsters in love oblivious to all around? And at the same time be on guard against possible snoops?
Watching the movie made me squirm and feel really depressed. It triggered all the fears I lived as a teenager in love. This is the first film I actually felt that fear. All other movies one does not really care too much.
The second and most poignant story was about a guy using the store cameras to keep a watch on women and about how it can be used to capture private moments without permission. That one has really set me thinking about CC TVs. CC TV is probably good as a deterrent but who on earth owns these images. If you are shooting without my permission then are you allowed to use them elsewhere or anywhere or against me or anything, without my permission? What the laws safeguarding these. More pertinent, what eth rules that control access and use of this. As a company, you have put the dam thing in place and are recording everything. What is the policy on who gets access to these recordings? How do you monitor them, how do you store them and how do you destroy them? Forget the corporate. What about the stores. They would be even more lax about their policies and checks and balances. What about the city and the public places. I can’t trust the government to ensure privacy of my licence details, how do I trust them with digital images. Police stations are places I don’t want to go, leave aside my family. I would much rather avoid the place. Will I trust them with what I perceive my digital rights? All this in the face of the plan to wire eth city with cameras, a la London.
With cameras getting smaller and powerful, it is given that people will use them misuse them. But it is vary painful to see it uncontrolled. Seeing my camera some colleagues caught onto photography and I got them digital cameras with 12X zoom which is pretty powerful. He had gone abroad and while he was showing his photos, one photo made me cringe. He had taken a photo of a lady in T shirt that showed her cleavage. I was so repulsed. How dare you click someone without their permission and that too with your ugly intentions? He is good educated guy and a genuinely nice guy otherwise. He saw no wrong in taking the photo and no wrong in showing it to us. I cringed and blamed my self for teaching him photography.
If this is the state of normal nice people, how do trust the broad junta? This will increasingly be a part of our lives and will come up discussion sooner or later. The problem will happen when the right wings will put the fear of terror in our heads to install it and the left will simply seek to ban it. Neither will make sense. But I guess the answer will come when we realise that digital power is a great power and as spidey realised – with great power comes great responsibility. We must enact strong laws and procedures that stops misuse and puts checks and balances in place.
We must realise that merely putting in cameras might stop pilferage but will also put your customers at risk. Customers must vote with their feet if they find retailers with cameras and no strong policies in place regarding their use.
I could go on and on. I feel so strongly. Rarely has a film come that made me shape my opinion so strongly. The second story had believable characters. The male actor is a believable guy with grey all over. A perfect example of a guy who is not sure of his moral standing and is pushed over by external forces. Its very real. I have seen guys like that as well his friend who pushes him over. Guys who are so perverted that they mentally undress a women the moment they see her. These are real ------ (I can’t think of a strong enough word), who have only one conversation and one agenda on their mind. Many times all it requires is just a tip. Most are so delicately balanced. All of us have these fine lines which we balance all the time. It does not really matter most of the time as the person affected is mostly ourselves but what happens in cases where someone else is at stake and the lure so powerful. I really felt for the female lead. Rashmi. My heart reached out to her. She is the symbol of all the porn clip victims that people have circulated in fulfilling their voyeuristic pleasures. Suddenly I feel sad at the clips that my friends showed me. I am not against porn, but Rashmi made me see the distinction between porn and peep. I can’t get that girl off my mind since yesterday. I don’t think I will forget her too soon.
The third story is an interesting (but not so touching) take on stng operations. I was watching TV at my mom in laws place and some TV channel was doing a n expose on some sadhu. I am not a fan of either TV news or the sadhus. My BIL was watching and commenting on the sad state of affairs with the sadhu in question. I merely asked, how can you be so sure that the channel is telling the truth and it has not planted this all. How on earth can they get the right to go inside the case which is under investigation of the police? Why should you believe them? How is all this allowed and fair game? He had no answer. Sting operations along with broadcasting ability – absolute power. Where is the responsibility?
When I came out of the movie, I told Jasmine – what a depressing movie. That was a compliment.
PS: this movie is produced by the house that is known for introducing the saas bahu tele-serials which are so painfully regressive. Comes as a refreshing twist. Ekta Kappor almost redeemed herself. Almost.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
get in the blanket. quick
Jispa likes to come into our bed and sleep. At the heart of it I kind of love it but the problem is that the bed isn’t that big and surely isn’t big enough for the three of us. And it especially shrinks in size when she decides to twist and turn. She normally gets these fits of coming in every night after a vacation when she gets used to sleeping with us in the same room.
She always comes to me in the middle of the night with some excuse or the other. The standard papa response is, come in, sleep here. I am normally too zoned out to think too much and I don’t want to spoil my sleep. The sleep next to me prescription works in an amazing wide variety of conditions including the good old stomach ache and the plain I not getting sleep syndrome.
Now in the morning I try and ask her why did she actually come to me in the night? Today morning she told me that she just came to tell me that she wasn’t getting sleep and I simply put her to sleep next to me. It’s not her fault. I told her, you rascal. You knew that I would put you to sleep here and that’s why you came. Else why would you suddenly get sleep next to me and not on your own? That too in the middle of the night! ‘dad, don’t ask me too many questions. I am sleepy’. Ya sure.
But at the same time I have to tell her that some to me in the might but don’t come just to sleep. Come for a genuine reason. But I also know that’s its not possible to make out a genuine reason from another. Not getting sleep is a genuine reason. So ia m not too harsh on her. I speak to her with a smile and make fun of it while talking to her. I have also appealed to her caring self. I have told her that when she comes in at night and sleeps next to me and since the bed isn’t that big, I am squeezed for space and I end up aggravating my back. Well its does happen so I am not lying. That works at times.
Jasmine has a simple solution to all this. Next time when she comes in at night, just let me know. I will go to sleep in Jispa’s bed and papa and baby can sleep peacefully. Something tells me that Jasmine has given up on me. She knows where my heart is. Hehe.
But the problem is less acute in summer. In winter is in and out of the blanket creating a whole mess. At stable and moderate night temperatures she moves less. She also stays nice and snug if the temperature drops a lot or if the AC is on full blast. So these days its not really much of an issue.
A ha… what did I just realize. An opposite of sorts. I want to have her sleeping next to me and I want her to sleep on her own. How are they reconciling. I they are in a manner of speaking in some way. Go figure.
She always comes to me in the middle of the night with some excuse or the other. The standard papa response is, come in, sleep here. I am normally too zoned out to think too much and I don’t want to spoil my sleep. The sleep next to me prescription works in an amazing wide variety of conditions including the good old stomach ache and the plain I not getting sleep syndrome.
Now in the morning I try and ask her why did she actually come to me in the night? Today morning she told me that she just came to tell me that she wasn’t getting sleep and I simply put her to sleep next to me. It’s not her fault. I told her, you rascal. You knew that I would put you to sleep here and that’s why you came. Else why would you suddenly get sleep next to me and not on your own? That too in the middle of the night! ‘dad, don’t ask me too many questions. I am sleepy’. Ya sure.
But at the same time I have to tell her that some to me in the might but don’t come just to sleep. Come for a genuine reason. But I also know that’s its not possible to make out a genuine reason from another. Not getting sleep is a genuine reason. So ia m not too harsh on her. I speak to her with a smile and make fun of it while talking to her. I have also appealed to her caring self. I have told her that when she comes in at night and sleeps next to me and since the bed isn’t that big, I am squeezed for space and I end up aggravating my back. Well its does happen so I am not lying. That works at times.
Jasmine has a simple solution to all this. Next time when she comes in at night, just let me know. I will go to sleep in Jispa’s bed and papa and baby can sleep peacefully. Something tells me that Jasmine has given up on me. She knows where my heart is. Hehe.
But the problem is less acute in summer. In winter is in and out of the blanket creating a whole mess. At stable and moderate night temperatures she moves less. She also stays nice and snug if the temperature drops a lot or if the AC is on full blast. So these days its not really much of an issue.
A ha… what did I just realize. An opposite of sorts. I want to have her sleeping next to me and I want her to sleep on her own. How are they reconciling. I they are in a manner of speaking in some way. Go figure.
whatever you say
Just watched Alice in wonderland yesterday. Its like any standard fairytale yarn. Myth of the hero by Joseph Campbell anyone. Quite a forgetful movie but it has proved one thing… my eyes are not quite suited for 3D viewing. I have this issue for sometime. The thee dimensional movies give me a nasty headache and I can literally feel my eyes throbbing. It sis almost impossible for me to sit through these movies. I am happier with them in simpler 2D.
Since i kept removing the glasses time to time I wasn’t too engrossed watching the movie. I turned to my daughter who was also sitting at the climax sequence without her googles on. I was wondering if her eyes were hurting as well. I asked her why. She said she did like watching that in 3D. It took me a second to register the issue. It was the climax where the diminutive Alice takes on the over sized dragon bird. The picture was scary enough and she did not want the fireballs and the excitement to leap at her outside the frames. Jispa is a sensitive kid and she is slowly learning the fun of scary movies.
We had heard about the movie and had suitably warned her on the same. we told her that it would have gross stuff. She still insisted on watching it. Earlier we used to take her for the movies and she used to get angry at us for taking us to those movies. I remember Die hard 4 being one. Now we warn her well in advance and she chooses to see or not see the movie. She chose not to see Avataar and this one she chose to see. Hence now she doesn’t blame us anymore and takes more responsibility for her actions. When we ask her about a movie she wants to see the ad first before deciding. She gets her cues on the type of movie from the posters and the imagery. Sometimes she asks us what the movie is about and the basic storyline before deciding.
Once decided she can’t be easily swayed otherwise. We let her pick her movies this way. That does not mean she will invariably like a movie she picks but at least jasmine and me don’t get to shoulder a blame for taking her.
With a strong mind like hers we are quite clear on the fights we want to avoid. If rather be with a friend, grand parents or do something else… so be it.
Since i kept removing the glasses time to time I wasn’t too engrossed watching the movie. I turned to my daughter who was also sitting at the climax sequence without her googles on. I was wondering if her eyes were hurting as well. I asked her why. She said she did like watching that in 3D. It took me a second to register the issue. It was the climax where the diminutive Alice takes on the over sized dragon bird. The picture was scary enough and she did not want the fireballs and the excitement to leap at her outside the frames. Jispa is a sensitive kid and she is slowly learning the fun of scary movies.
We had heard about the movie and had suitably warned her on the same. we told her that it would have gross stuff. She still insisted on watching it. Earlier we used to take her for the movies and she used to get angry at us for taking us to those movies. I remember Die hard 4 being one. Now we warn her well in advance and she chooses to see or not see the movie. She chose not to see Avataar and this one she chose to see. Hence now she doesn’t blame us anymore and takes more responsibility for her actions. When we ask her about a movie she wants to see the ad first before deciding. She gets her cues on the type of movie from the posters and the imagery. Sometimes she asks us what the movie is about and the basic storyline before deciding.
Once decided she can’t be easily swayed otherwise. We let her pick her movies this way. That does not mean she will invariably like a movie she picks but at least jasmine and me don’t get to shoulder a blame for taking her.
With a strong mind like hers we are quite clear on the fights we want to avoid. If rather be with a friend, grand parents or do something else… so be it.
Monday, March 22, 2010
get off... you are spoilng my aura
Its march again and the whole bloody stress thing will now play out. Increments, bonus growth etc. People will ask of the company what the company will do for it and the company will ask of the people what they have done for it.
The whole thing is quite a sham and has little logic or proper thought process. The top management will get in a huddle with the science that only they understand. And then you as will be given the letters and will have to show your face to the employee. Till the letters come in you are not even consulted or even in the know as regards anything. It is the state secret that is being discussed. Invariably it hurts more people than it will please. But then that is a function of human nature. Quickly the joy of getting money will disappear into the jealousy experienced when you realise who gets what. And you know what the truth is… I don’t think that the management cares a dam what you really think. And neither does the employee care what the management really think. In the end both end up cursing each other. One feels that the other is not grateful. I can’t understand what the gratitude feeling is all about. You gave your services, they paid what they think is adequate for you. No one did anyone a favour. Where on earth does gratitude come from? I am quite clear about all this. Experience has taught be a lot. I approach this with a sense of equanimity.
That’s what I tell all my kids as well. When the going was good, I told them not to thank me for all the sexy bonuses they were receiving and hence when the going went kaput, I kept the same stand. I don’t give you money or decide your hikes, its them, please face them and talk to them. I have learnt to influence silently from sidelines, and be quite about it. When someone is joining in, I try and fight for salary and quietly make an impact. At the time also I deflect the entire thing to ‘them’. I find it of no use to get any gratitude for salary.
Such is also the case for day to day functioning. If they crib about cash, I only say that I influence office environment, I give you freedom to work, I ensure my team has zero infighting and politics, rest for salary, this is what the company is paying. If you get something better somewhere else. Go. Please put my name on your CV as reference. Sure I address all issues with management but I have no real authority on the same.
This way I work focussed on the job. This way I don’t let issues of money affect my day to day life. I have seen people hanker around for money, play games, time resignations, manage the equations and waste tons of time cribbing away vitiating the atmosphere. I hate money talks and I can’t tolerate too much of cribbing and hypothising about what will happen. It’s a complete waste of time. Do your job and walk. Isn’t someone waiting for you outside office? Leave your worries home. Once you get the letter and the amount over which you have no control over then, you plan your action. Before that thinking about it is such a waste of time.
From around now to the date the letters are given I will have to duck such people and duck such conversations and duck the negativity permeating the floor. It is a big job but to preserve ones sanity, I see no option. Also the best way to turn these guys off is to agree and give some big lecture on why the management is trying their best and why they are right and why one should work for reasons other than money. Slowly they want to talk to you anymore as ‘the other side’ is the last thing they want to hear. Hehehe.
The whole thing is quite a sham and has little logic or proper thought process. The top management will get in a huddle with the science that only they understand. And then you as will be given the letters and will have to show your face to the employee. Till the letters come in you are not even consulted or even in the know as regards anything. It is the state secret that is being discussed. Invariably it hurts more people than it will please. But then that is a function of human nature. Quickly the joy of getting money will disappear into the jealousy experienced when you realise who gets what. And you know what the truth is… I don’t think that the management cares a dam what you really think. And neither does the employee care what the management really think. In the end both end up cursing each other. One feels that the other is not grateful. I can’t understand what the gratitude feeling is all about. You gave your services, they paid what they think is adequate for you. No one did anyone a favour. Where on earth does gratitude come from? I am quite clear about all this. Experience has taught be a lot. I approach this with a sense of equanimity.
That’s what I tell all my kids as well. When the going was good, I told them not to thank me for all the sexy bonuses they were receiving and hence when the going went kaput, I kept the same stand. I don’t give you money or decide your hikes, its them, please face them and talk to them. I have learnt to influence silently from sidelines, and be quite about it. When someone is joining in, I try and fight for salary and quietly make an impact. At the time also I deflect the entire thing to ‘them’. I find it of no use to get any gratitude for salary.
Such is also the case for day to day functioning. If they crib about cash, I only say that I influence office environment, I give you freedom to work, I ensure my team has zero infighting and politics, rest for salary, this is what the company is paying. If you get something better somewhere else. Go. Please put my name on your CV as reference. Sure I address all issues with management but I have no real authority on the same.
This way I work focussed on the job. This way I don’t let issues of money affect my day to day life. I have seen people hanker around for money, play games, time resignations, manage the equations and waste tons of time cribbing away vitiating the atmosphere. I hate money talks and I can’t tolerate too much of cribbing and hypothising about what will happen. It’s a complete waste of time. Do your job and walk. Isn’t someone waiting for you outside office? Leave your worries home. Once you get the letter and the amount over which you have no control over then, you plan your action. Before that thinking about it is such a waste of time.
From around now to the date the letters are given I will have to duck such people and duck such conversations and duck the negativity permeating the floor. It is a big job but to preserve ones sanity, I see no option. Also the best way to turn these guys off is to agree and give some big lecture on why the management is trying their best and why they are right and why one should work for reasons other than money. Slowly they want to talk to you anymore as ‘the other side’ is the last thing they want to hear. Hehehe.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
go goa
Ok, the verdict is out. The glares are awesome. At least they were in the first few days that used them in Goa. Awesomely light and very clear. I used them in the swimming pool, on the beach, on a scooter and in the Arabian Sea. Ya, I was swimming in the sea with them on. Perfect. Very light and very clear and so far no scratches. Vasool.
Goa was a fun outpost. Jispa has become a fine water baby. She wants to hit the swimming pool in the hotel and then refuses to be dragged off the water on the beach. I spent hours and hours with her in the water. And I realized the utility of having sun tan lotion / sun block being liberally applied on your skin. I thought I was dark enough to function without it. Two days of roaming around in shorts (only shorts) and red burnt shoulders later I had learnt my lesson. The last two days were spent applying cold cream indoors and sun block outdoors. That seemed to soothe it, though I ended up almost screaming every time Jasmine or Jispa happened to lean on my broad albeit red shoulders. Hehe.
Now we are pretty much convinced of the power of tripadvisor and lonely planet. It worked for us here as well. The hotel was exactly as we expected – nice simple, sweet with a clean pool. It also helped hitting the right spots to eat and relax. Goa is fun off the crowded areas. On one day we went to south Anjuna to get a lovely clean beach. The eyes needed some adjusting. Nopes, it wasn’t the glare. That my sun glasses took care off, it was the topless women, and blatantly so. I was thought getting topless women at a public beach was an urban legend but this was the real thing. The first instinct was to look at Jispa. She didn’t seem to notice it. Luckily it wasn’t like a nude beach, just a few women topless.
Luckily I have turned out fairly stable about nudity (inspite of a deprived childhood :P) and have been fairly level headed about it. This is my second brush with it. Once many years ago some asset management company had taken us on a cruise. One of the shows was a topless show that I found no point of going to. The second time we had gone again. Another dumb asset management company. This time a set of students who were now working with us were also there. They wanted to go but were a bit shy or trepid. They wanted me to come along. Almost like an adult. Sure, I had no qualms in them seeing it and I have always thought that nudity is so dam overrated. So the show started and soon enough the models were topless. Once it’s off and blatantly so, it ceases to really excite. This was a show which started at I think 1 am or something. Soon ten minutes into the show I was fast asleep. I hate shows of all types. Seeing people dance and sing and perform on stage bore me no end. I hate the award shows as well. Now I am also getting tired of Jispa’s school shows. Once her act is over, I am all ready to sleep. This exciting topless show was no exception. Some of the other guys also slept through. But at least they woke up to know that the experience is much more hyped than it actually is. I always encourage the kids to see it for themselves. For decent stable minds it really really can’t be that much fun.
Ditto for the beach. The only real minor irritant. You try and look away from the sun bathers as you don’t really want anyone thinking you are staring at them even though you might not honestly be staring goggle eyed at them. Whatever! Family man must be a bit careful. Always.
While we are not the gastronomic delight seekers, with the lonely planet recommendations, we realized that if you have time its good fun to roam around (especially when the journey is part of the destination), looking for the recommended places and eating. Never waste vacation time on eating but if you have alight schedule, a bike filled with petrol and all three love going around a bike, any excuse is a good excuse. And if the excuse happens to be in the form of waiting pizza then all the more.
All in all a great time. The scooting around on a Honda scooter, the lazing around on the shallow waters of clear Mandrem beach, eating raw mangoes stolen from a tree, removing my shirt and still feeling overdressed… worth every bit.
Goa was a fun outpost. Jispa has become a fine water baby. She wants to hit the swimming pool in the hotel and then refuses to be dragged off the water on the beach. I spent hours and hours with her in the water. And I realized the utility of having sun tan lotion / sun block being liberally applied on your skin. I thought I was dark enough to function without it. Two days of roaming around in shorts (only shorts) and red burnt shoulders later I had learnt my lesson. The last two days were spent applying cold cream indoors and sun block outdoors. That seemed to soothe it, though I ended up almost screaming every time Jasmine or Jispa happened to lean on my broad albeit red shoulders. Hehe.
Now we are pretty much convinced of the power of tripadvisor and lonely planet. It worked for us here as well. The hotel was exactly as we expected – nice simple, sweet with a clean pool. It also helped hitting the right spots to eat and relax. Goa is fun off the crowded areas. On one day we went to south Anjuna to get a lovely clean beach. The eyes needed some adjusting. Nopes, it wasn’t the glare. That my sun glasses took care off, it was the topless women, and blatantly so. I was thought getting topless women at a public beach was an urban legend but this was the real thing. The first instinct was to look at Jispa. She didn’t seem to notice it. Luckily it wasn’t like a nude beach, just a few women topless.
Luckily I have turned out fairly stable about nudity (inspite of a deprived childhood :P) and have been fairly level headed about it. This is my second brush with it. Once many years ago some asset management company had taken us on a cruise. One of the shows was a topless show that I found no point of going to. The second time we had gone again. Another dumb asset management company. This time a set of students who were now working with us were also there. They wanted to go but were a bit shy or trepid. They wanted me to come along. Almost like an adult. Sure, I had no qualms in them seeing it and I have always thought that nudity is so dam overrated. So the show started and soon enough the models were topless. Once it’s off and blatantly so, it ceases to really excite. This was a show which started at I think 1 am or something. Soon ten minutes into the show I was fast asleep. I hate shows of all types. Seeing people dance and sing and perform on stage bore me no end. I hate the award shows as well. Now I am also getting tired of Jispa’s school shows. Once her act is over, I am all ready to sleep. This exciting topless show was no exception. Some of the other guys also slept through. But at least they woke up to know that the experience is much more hyped than it actually is. I always encourage the kids to see it for themselves. For decent stable minds it really really can’t be that much fun.
Ditto for the beach. The only real minor irritant. You try and look away from the sun bathers as you don’t really want anyone thinking you are staring at them even though you might not honestly be staring goggle eyed at them. Whatever! Family man must be a bit careful. Always.
While we are not the gastronomic delight seekers, with the lonely planet recommendations, we realized that if you have time its good fun to roam around (especially when the journey is part of the destination), looking for the recommended places and eating. Never waste vacation time on eating but if you have alight schedule, a bike filled with petrol and all three love going around a bike, any excuse is a good excuse. And if the excuse happens to be in the form of waiting pizza then all the more.
All in all a great time. The scooting around on a Honda scooter, the lazing around on the shallow waters of clear Mandrem beach, eating raw mangoes stolen from a tree, removing my shirt and still feeling overdressed… worth every bit.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
deep desires
Yesterday I lived one more childhood ambition. Slowly slowly I have been fulfilling some of my childhood dreams. One by one. Not that they have driven me to perform or do something but they seem to be giving me quite satisfaction one by one. Very small things to large things. Like once it was owning a car, or a house or some land in the woods or nice sandals or decent low fork denims etc. So it’s not about money or anything, it’s more about what I might have eyed as a kid or hoped to enjoy while growing up.
One of the things that I had eyed and slowly inched towards getting there is sunglasses. I always wanted nice light sunglasses. First when I started working I tried buying sunglasses of the road. These were for around 200 bucks. They weren’t that great and they probably did my eyes more harm than good. After that I have bought some more glasses and have always stayed at the lower end of the spectrum. At best a fast track one at around a grand or so. But I always felt the need for a good sporty one.
Some time back my wife was shopping for one and I got her to buy a nice Ray bans. At the time I thought they were shit expensive and wow that was a kind of birthday gift for her. Her raved about it for a long time. She loved them. Slowly I came about to eth notion that you really need to pay top dollar to get good glares and the ones I was buying weren’t really good enough. So she convinced me to buy a pair of Ray bans. This was I think about a year ago. Sure enough at 5k it made me think and think and think. But with a bit of prodding from wife I managed to buy them. I genuinely have a problem spending money. Especially for what I perceive as simple brand value (read tag value). What’s so good that I must pay top dollar. Its just a marketing gimmick. That’s partly the reason why I bought my first full price denim from a non sale from a reputed brand a month back. It was a Wrangler. Otherwise I saw no point in them. Especially since I always got mine custom stitched at a hideaway tailor I know. And at 25% of the branded price. I guess I am and always will remain a bit cheap.
So coming back to the ray bans. Yup they got me my first decent glares but they did not fulfil my deep desire to have nice light weight sporty and cool glares. Also they showed me the fun of wearing nice glares. I really love the clarity that my Raybans give me. I am totally in love with the brand. But there is one issue. With a metal frame and glass lens they are a bit heavy and I feel the weight on my nose. So I have been contemplating fulfilling my desire of buying a light weight sporty “expensive” glares.
Yesterday we walked into our trusted neighbourhood store and saw the range on offer. Here you are my latest acquisition – the hep new and happening glares. They are perfect for me. Nice and light and pretty cool on the tech side as well. It’s funny that I did not realise that I was fulfilling my childhood desire of owning one like these until I actually ended up owning them. I like such stuff. they don’t give you stress as you forget that you actually desired them, but when you do get them you realise that a small tick mark is made against your bucket list, as it were. Hah!
According to me they cost a bomb at 7K, and I sure hope that I can find enough reason to justify them. The rationale being that they are better than Oakleys but cheaper and more durable? If you need to read more about them and help me justify the same here is the link
One of the things that I had eyed and slowly inched towards getting there is sunglasses. I always wanted nice light sunglasses. First when I started working I tried buying sunglasses of the road. These were for around 200 bucks. They weren’t that great and they probably did my eyes more harm than good. After that I have bought some more glasses and have always stayed at the lower end of the spectrum. At best a fast track one at around a grand or so. But I always felt the need for a good sporty one.
Some time back my wife was shopping for one and I got her to buy a nice Ray bans. At the time I thought they were shit expensive and wow that was a kind of birthday gift for her. Her raved about it for a long time. She loved them. Slowly I came about to eth notion that you really need to pay top dollar to get good glares and the ones I was buying weren’t really good enough. So she convinced me to buy a pair of Ray bans. This was I think about a year ago. Sure enough at 5k it made me think and think and think. But with a bit of prodding from wife I managed to buy them. I genuinely have a problem spending money. Especially for what I perceive as simple brand value (read tag value). What’s so good that I must pay top dollar. Its just a marketing gimmick. That’s partly the reason why I bought my first full price denim from a non sale from a reputed brand a month back. It was a Wrangler. Otherwise I saw no point in them. Especially since I always got mine custom stitched at a hideaway tailor I know. And at 25% of the branded price. I guess I am and always will remain a bit cheap.
So coming back to the ray bans. Yup they got me my first decent glares but they did not fulfil my deep desire to have nice light weight sporty and cool glares. Also they showed me the fun of wearing nice glares. I really love the clarity that my Raybans give me. I am totally in love with the brand. But there is one issue. With a metal frame and glass lens they are a bit heavy and I feel the weight on my nose. So I have been contemplating fulfilling my desire of buying a light weight sporty “expensive” glares.
Yesterday we walked into our trusted neighbourhood store and saw the range on offer. Here you are my latest acquisition – the hep new and happening glares. They are perfect for me. Nice and light and pretty cool on the tech side as well. It’s funny that I did not realise that I was fulfilling my childhood desire of owning one like these until I actually ended up owning them. I like such stuff. they don’t give you stress as you forget that you actually desired them, but when you do get them you realise that a small tick mark is made against your bucket list, as it were. Hah!
According to me they cost a bomb at 7K, and I sure hope that I can find enough reason to justify them. The rationale being that they are better than Oakleys but cheaper and more durable? If you need to read more about them and help me justify the same here is the link
Monday, March 15, 2010
oh what feeling
Saturday I took my last class for the BMS batch that I was teaching. Next semester onwards it will be a new set of kids. It has been quite a ride of sorts for me. For the two semesters that taught them I only took a small part of their portion but I guess I was able to throw some light on the most important part of marketing – research. This is something that is important for any function. In variably in corporate life you see tons of statistics that people put in their presentations. Not understanding research is a severe limiting factor while understanding these presentations.
One example was I think two years back. The company had commissioned a 360 degree feedback. While my results were being discussed with me, I could point at least 4 to 5 fundamental issues with eth survey that put it at risk to being analysed correctly. Even the consultant had no idea what hit him. I don’t think he had figured about the bias that had crept into the analysis. Very silly.
That’s what I tried teaching these guys. Have an open mind, understand the bias in a survey, understand methodology and listen to the respondent and then make your intelligent analysis. Just because a bias has crept into the survey is no reason why you must throw out the survey. You must merely read the survey while understanding in your mind the bias that could have gotten in. It’s really not that complicated doing research. Just an open mind and commonsense. Also thanks to the subject, I had to go through quite a few intellectual papers and recommend them. Also I realised the lovely effects of giving a paper and then taking a test on it before I start explaining it. most of these are self explanatory papers, with anyone with half a mind can decipher. The trick is in getting these guys to read them. So I merely made a small test on them and explained the papers while discussing the answers. Very useful.
Also this batch seemed to be more important to me as I got back to teaching after a longish break. For some reason I felt a connect with this bunch. Good bunch of guys. So when at the last I closed the class, I was a bit overwhelmed with the emotion and show of love from the class. Hugs and thanks all around.
The joy you feel on successful completion of a course, especially if it’s mentally draining is quite a bit. There was a weird type of joy I felt. I felt pangs of sadness as well. But I surely did revel in the outpouring of love. It was something else. I guess kids are simple things after all. Treat them with love and respect and get the same in return. There is nothing to it.
Here is part of the batch. Its a special one. (though I suspect that I will fell like this with all my batches when I take their last lecture)
The next part of the fun will start now. I will meet them in different places, in malls, in shops, in theatres etc. I will recognise some, some will look familiar and some will go SSSIIIIIIRRRRRRR. Meeting them is always good fun. Then suddenly they will introduce me to their mom and dad if they are around. This is the ‘Jaimit Sir’ that I told you about. Typically the parents will first think that I am just an acquaintance and then on being introduced will go ‘oh’. A little more respect will follow and sometimes a namaste. I see the respect suddenly grow. Full time pass it is. This is hardly a ego booster, but the love and comments that come in from the kids… now that’s a real ego booster.
I don’t think it’s easy to understand this. I don’t my family or friends can understand this. Jasmine is merely used to this. Meeting students in vague places. But I think the real warm feeling in my heart that makes it all worthwhile is indescribable and so very internal. I have been floating on mercury since Saturday. What was that density number – it was 13.6 something per somethingI think
One example was I think two years back. The company had commissioned a 360 degree feedback. While my results were being discussed with me, I could point at least 4 to 5 fundamental issues with eth survey that put it at risk to being analysed correctly. Even the consultant had no idea what hit him. I don’t think he had figured about the bias that had crept into the analysis. Very silly.
That’s what I tried teaching these guys. Have an open mind, understand the bias in a survey, understand methodology and listen to the respondent and then make your intelligent analysis. Just because a bias has crept into the survey is no reason why you must throw out the survey. You must merely read the survey while understanding in your mind the bias that could have gotten in. It’s really not that complicated doing research. Just an open mind and commonsense. Also thanks to the subject, I had to go through quite a few intellectual papers and recommend them. Also I realised the lovely effects of giving a paper and then taking a test on it before I start explaining it. most of these are self explanatory papers, with anyone with half a mind can decipher. The trick is in getting these guys to read them. So I merely made a small test on them and explained the papers while discussing the answers. Very useful.
Also this batch seemed to be more important to me as I got back to teaching after a longish break. For some reason I felt a connect with this bunch. Good bunch of guys. So when at the last I closed the class, I was a bit overwhelmed with the emotion and show of love from the class. Hugs and thanks all around.
The joy you feel on successful completion of a course, especially if it’s mentally draining is quite a bit. There was a weird type of joy I felt. I felt pangs of sadness as well. But I surely did revel in the outpouring of love. It was something else. I guess kids are simple things after all. Treat them with love and respect and get the same in return. There is nothing to it.
Here is part of the batch. Its a special one. (though I suspect that I will fell like this with all my batches when I take their last lecture)
The next part of the fun will start now. I will meet them in different places, in malls, in shops, in theatres etc. I will recognise some, some will look familiar and some will go SSSIIIIIIRRRRRRR. Meeting them is always good fun. Then suddenly they will introduce me to their mom and dad if they are around. This is the ‘Jaimit Sir’ that I told you about. Typically the parents will first think that I am just an acquaintance and then on being introduced will go ‘oh’. A little more respect will follow and sometimes a namaste. I see the respect suddenly grow. Full time pass it is. This is hardly a ego booster, but the love and comments that come in from the kids… now that’s a real ego booster.
I don’t think it’s easy to understand this. I don’t my family or friends can understand this. Jasmine is merely used to this. Meeting students in vague places. But I think the real warm feeling in my heart that makes it all worthwhile is indescribable and so very internal. I have been floating on mercury since Saturday. What was that density number – it was 13.6 something per somethingI think
Friday, March 12, 2010
its how you say it
Awesome awesome. long back at my mum’s place we saw this movie ‘pride’ about a swimming team, making it against all odds. The coach repairs a pool and makes a bunch of no hopers win the championships. In that he teaches the kids to swim. Cup your hands and reach out and hear your biceps, he keeps repeating. Nice movie that I saw along with Jispa. After that we have been telling her to do the same in her swimming.
Jasmine goes everyday with her to the swimming class. While Jispa is fast, when she is asked to swim fast she invariably makes smaller rapid arm movements and doesn’t stretch her hands. Jasmine tells her all the time, reach out and cup your hands. The penny never dropped.
In my swimming, I have been trying to coach myself as well. I am a self taught swimmer. V-inu and me went to Shivaji park and learn by watching what eth others did. I knew a bit as I used to swim in the third standard. The next time I got to swim was in FY Bcom. A gap of ten years. I obviously almost started on square zero. So these days I too have been teaching myself. Breathe out under water and breathe in on the fourth stroke. Then yes ‘cup your hands and reach out and hear your biceps’. These days I have been able to do it better. Otherwise, I would forget either the hands or forget to flap the legs or forget the breathing rhythm. The last few days I have been doing it well. In fact I have improved so much that today I could do 25m up and 25 m down with no break. Not bad. It also helps me go faster.
Two days back I had made the big jump in this where I could coordinate all of them pretty decent and go much faster. In the evening, I told Jispa, that you know what ‘I managed to go faster today. I cupped my hands and reache3d out and heard my biceps. I went so fast.’ “ya??” “yes. You know how I realised I was going faster? I saw the tiles below and saw the tiles move very fast suddenly. You should try it as well.”
Yesterday at dinner, she told me. “daddy. I was swimming today and suddenly remembered what you said. I started reaching out and cupping my hands. I wondering what happened and only when I came out of the water I realised that the others were still reaching the tiles. I went very fast” “yayy” “yayyyy”.
Bechari jasmine thak gayi bolte bolte. She didn’t do it at all. Just a reframing of the statement made an enormous impact. Even while I was about to say it, something told me that this will make her listen.
Jasmine goes everyday with her to the swimming class. While Jispa is fast, when she is asked to swim fast she invariably makes smaller rapid arm movements and doesn’t stretch her hands. Jasmine tells her all the time, reach out and cup your hands. The penny never dropped.
In my swimming, I have been trying to coach myself as well. I am a self taught swimmer. V-inu and me went to Shivaji park and learn by watching what eth others did. I knew a bit as I used to swim in the third standard. The next time I got to swim was in FY Bcom. A gap of ten years. I obviously almost started on square zero. So these days I too have been teaching myself. Breathe out under water and breathe in on the fourth stroke. Then yes ‘cup your hands and reach out and hear your biceps’. These days I have been able to do it better. Otherwise, I would forget either the hands or forget to flap the legs or forget the breathing rhythm. The last few days I have been doing it well. In fact I have improved so much that today I could do 25m up and 25 m down with no break. Not bad. It also helps me go faster.
Two days back I had made the big jump in this where I could coordinate all of them pretty decent and go much faster. In the evening, I told Jispa, that you know what ‘I managed to go faster today. I cupped my hands and reache3d out and heard my biceps. I went so fast.’ “ya??” “yes. You know how I realised I was going faster? I saw the tiles below and saw the tiles move very fast suddenly. You should try it as well.”
Yesterday at dinner, she told me. “daddy. I was swimming today and suddenly remembered what you said. I started reaching out and cupping my hands. I wondering what happened and only when I came out of the water I realised that the others were still reaching the tiles. I went very fast” “yayy” “yayyyy”.
Bechari jasmine thak gayi bolte bolte. She didn’t do it at all. Just a reframing of the statement made an enormous impact. Even while I was about to say it, something told me that this will make her listen.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
split weasel
Corporate life is pretty blase and irritatingly monotonous. It’s the standard blame game. Whenever an issue crops up, a person would see only a part of the story that proves that he is not responsible. Twist the case and its interpretation in such a way that the blame lies at someone else’s table.
At first I kept being the victim in all this. This was many years ago. Now at least I don’t get into these scams. You keep getting better at stopping a bomb and when someone hands you a bomb. But across the line it’s the same thing. Hand over the bomb. It happens so many times that its ceases to astonish. It merely amuses. New ways and the predictable patterns of the junta in passing it over. Standard catch phrases, weak excuses and sort. It is so blatant that I am sure both the originator and the receiver, both know its bull shitting origins but both choose to accept it. sometimes they both agree as it helps absolve both or it throws the shit on a common enemy or it saves face for both. Many times it’s just that the perpetrator is to powerful to really move or take action against. The judge merely wants any excuse to get rid of the complaint. Anything goes.
But this is not irritating. Shit like this happens all the time. Once you have sold your soul, don’t complain. If you are in Rome you will meet Romans .. eeek.. bad one that was… but the point is that this is an acceptable part of life and the sooner you realise this the better it is for you. Frustration quickly turns to amusement when you see the game. Sometimes you are in apposition to call it and sometimes you are in a position to fight it and sometimes merely watch on a as a spectator. The irritating goose for me is the guy who preaches. He preaches at every pretext. Calls everyone names. Openly expresses frustration at everyone’s hypocrisy, laments loudly, sighs and then… when it comes on him / her, uses the same trick in the book. Holier than though has a muddy coat. So much so that now I believe that if anyone says that they are holier than thou and laments on the state of affairs, they are worst types. Dhongi babas (fake gurus). Watch out for them. Sometimes I wonder if they know what they are doing. Do they actually have a good and bad side that does not talk to each other and does not see each other while the other one is in control. I don’t know.
I have come across genuine clean ones and genuine evil ones. Many times they have a clear idea of their true self and are at ease with it. These poor dhongi baba’s lament so realistically that I wonder if they genuinely have a split personality. Of course there are the dhongi’s that plan their show and face. They are real sinister ones. You might just not be able to make out. And when you see through them you hate them and avoid them. What to do with the inbetweens, the split personalities. Do you make friends with their good side and run on seeing the evil side. That’s not possible. They also don’t know when they will switch. Did Jekyll know when Hyde was around or vice versa?
At first I kept being the victim in all this. This was many years ago. Now at least I don’t get into these scams. You keep getting better at stopping a bomb and when someone hands you a bomb. But across the line it’s the same thing. Hand over the bomb. It happens so many times that its ceases to astonish. It merely amuses. New ways and the predictable patterns of the junta in passing it over. Standard catch phrases, weak excuses and sort. It is so blatant that I am sure both the originator and the receiver, both know its bull shitting origins but both choose to accept it. sometimes they both agree as it helps absolve both or it throws the shit on a common enemy or it saves face for both. Many times it’s just that the perpetrator is to powerful to really move or take action against. The judge merely wants any excuse to get rid of the complaint. Anything goes.
But this is not irritating. Shit like this happens all the time. Once you have sold your soul, don’t complain. If you are in Rome you will meet Romans .. eeek.. bad one that was… but the point is that this is an acceptable part of life and the sooner you realise this the better it is for you. Frustration quickly turns to amusement when you see the game. Sometimes you are in apposition to call it and sometimes you are in a position to fight it and sometimes merely watch on a as a spectator. The irritating goose for me is the guy who preaches. He preaches at every pretext. Calls everyone names. Openly expresses frustration at everyone’s hypocrisy, laments loudly, sighs and then… when it comes on him / her, uses the same trick in the book. Holier than though has a muddy coat. So much so that now I believe that if anyone says that they are holier than thou and laments on the state of affairs, they are worst types. Dhongi babas (fake gurus). Watch out for them. Sometimes I wonder if they know what they are doing. Do they actually have a good and bad side that does not talk to each other and does not see each other while the other one is in control. I don’t know.
I have come across genuine clean ones and genuine evil ones. Many times they have a clear idea of their true self and are at ease with it. These poor dhongi baba’s lament so realistically that I wonder if they genuinely have a split personality. Of course there are the dhongi’s that plan their show and face. They are real sinister ones. You might just not be able to make out. And when you see through them you hate them and avoid them. What to do with the inbetweens, the split personalities. Do you make friends with their good side and run on seeing the evil side. That’s not possible. They also don’t know when they will switch. Did Jekyll know when Hyde was around or vice versa?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
uneasy mind easy answers
I have had a slightly disturbed state of mind. I did not really sleep too well and couldn’t really do the yoga properly in the morning. Sometimes when there are too many things on your mind, it doesn’t really work out well. I think for me I need to be in control of the situation. If I don’t have too much control over it and depend on others then the uncertainty bugs me.
One factor was that I was planning for a vacation in June. I am planning to go up north and catch some camping and rafting. I invited some really cool ex students of mine who have the travel bug. They are now not really students but good friends. There is of course the small matter of them calling me sir. But it’s developed into a healthy relationship of almost equals. Ten years of age difference when they were 18 is not the same when they are 25. I love to see them all grown up. So while planning the trip the budget seems to coming up a little higher. Especially since some of them are salaried and just about so, I was a bit unhappy with the way the budget seems higher. I wouldn’t want them to spend a bit higher just because I am a little soft and want to stay in slightly better camps. So that was one thing that got me thinking and sleeping while thinking is always a bad idea.
The second thing is that my team is under some stress. I have largely left them alone for the recent past and some issues seem to be coming up. There is a little bit of uncertainty and change involved with one person shifting to a new role outside of my team but within the company. There are other signs that foretell of a simmer within. Like the look that I got yesterday when I asked them to pack up for the day. They did not like it. Funny. It should be the other way around in normal times. Probably I might have missed a vibe or a sign or I might have been too arrogant, too sure or plain too lazy to see some signals coming. So that got me a bit disturbed. Its been playing on my mind since yesterday. And with this trip planning thing, my head is a bit muddled.
But like everything else, when its muddles you attack the issue and close it, at least mentally. So first thing I started attacking the budget issue with travel. With that out of the way I started attacking the team issue. a few chats, a little introspection etc later… it is time to go back to basics. Keep the objective right. Keep the employee interest in your mind, give them the benefit of doubt. Internally change. This can work when you have faith in the employee core. I have faith in my team. Its been painstakingly difficult to build and I am justifiably proud of them and my ability to build them. Of course having a dose of luck helped but there has been considerable effort to bring them together and happy and pushing them to perform.
So Doing what I do best. I cleaned the white board. My big whiteboard that is behind me is where I write down all the work that has to be done . it’s a simple case of KRA setting. KRA? Key result areas. One of my bosses just decided to implement this for his core team and hence even for my team. I was smiling as I have always led teams by wrtiien down KRA’s. only we did not call them that and we did not have a long drawn out process for them. We called it managing by white board. The to do’s are written down on the white board. You come for a meeting and I will only talk about the stuff written down. If it’s not written, don’t do it. Complete clarity of what is required to be done by me and you.
Hence when its time to get back to basics, I clean the whiteboard. Playing eth shiva from the trinity is sometimes critical. Time to time the board gets outdated and boring. It needs a fresh perspective and a fresh look. It can’t be done by keeping the stuff there. So call in the housekeeping. Yes only in India can you call housekeeping to wipe the board clean. I have blogged about this before. He came and did a cleaning that is in a way metaphorical and symbolic. And here you are. Clean board, clean mind.
I have taken pains to build the team and I am not going to let it go down so easily. I am still here and I am still in charge. I can’t be bogged down by this for long.
Many years ago in the MBA entrance interviews, I had tried to practice good answers to bad questions. One was name your good qualities. One word I had liked then and realise its significance now – resilience.
It’s by luck I chanced upon it. I think if you tell yourself enough about something, your minds will actually believe it and act it.
One factor was that I was planning for a vacation in June. I am planning to go up north and catch some camping and rafting. I invited some really cool ex students of mine who have the travel bug. They are now not really students but good friends. There is of course the small matter of them calling me sir. But it’s developed into a healthy relationship of almost equals. Ten years of age difference when they were 18 is not the same when they are 25. I love to see them all grown up. So while planning the trip the budget seems to coming up a little higher. Especially since some of them are salaried and just about so, I was a bit unhappy with the way the budget seems higher. I wouldn’t want them to spend a bit higher just because I am a little soft and want to stay in slightly better camps. So that was one thing that got me thinking and sleeping while thinking is always a bad idea.
The second thing is that my team is under some stress. I have largely left them alone for the recent past and some issues seem to be coming up. There is a little bit of uncertainty and change involved with one person shifting to a new role outside of my team but within the company. There are other signs that foretell of a simmer within. Like the look that I got yesterday when I asked them to pack up for the day. They did not like it. Funny. It should be the other way around in normal times. Probably I might have missed a vibe or a sign or I might have been too arrogant, too sure or plain too lazy to see some signals coming. So that got me a bit disturbed. Its been playing on my mind since yesterday. And with this trip planning thing, my head is a bit muddled.
But like everything else, when its muddles you attack the issue and close it, at least mentally. So first thing I started attacking the budget issue with travel. With that out of the way I started attacking the team issue. a few chats, a little introspection etc later… it is time to go back to basics. Keep the objective right. Keep the employee interest in your mind, give them the benefit of doubt. Internally change. This can work when you have faith in the employee core. I have faith in my team. Its been painstakingly difficult to build and I am justifiably proud of them and my ability to build them. Of course having a dose of luck helped but there has been considerable effort to bring them together and happy and pushing them to perform.
So Doing what I do best. I cleaned the white board. My big whiteboard that is behind me is where I write down all the work that has to be done . it’s a simple case of KRA setting. KRA? Key result areas. One of my bosses just decided to implement this for his core team and hence even for my team. I was smiling as I have always led teams by wrtiien down KRA’s. only we did not call them that and we did not have a long drawn out process for them. We called it managing by white board. The to do’s are written down on the white board. You come for a meeting and I will only talk about the stuff written down. If it’s not written, don’t do it. Complete clarity of what is required to be done by me and you.
Hence when its time to get back to basics, I clean the whiteboard. Playing eth shiva from the trinity is sometimes critical. Time to time the board gets outdated and boring. It needs a fresh perspective and a fresh look. It can’t be done by keeping the stuff there. So call in the housekeeping. Yes only in India can you call housekeeping to wipe the board clean. I have blogged about this before. He came and did a cleaning that is in a way metaphorical and symbolic. And here you are. Clean board, clean mind.
I have taken pains to build the team and I am not going to let it go down so easily. I am still here and I am still in charge. I can’t be bogged down by this for long.
Many years ago in the MBA entrance interviews, I had tried to practice good answers to bad questions. One was name your good qualities. One word I had liked then and realise its significance now – resilience.
It’s by luck I chanced upon it. I think if you tell yourself enough about something, your minds will actually believe it and act it.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
halo
Meetings meetings meetings. Every time in meetings the equation evolves. First came the cell phones. People used to keep their cell phones on. Now these days it is generally seen as a thing to be frowned upon. Then the guys started putting their cell phones on silent. But they started picking the calls while standing in the corner of the room, yet disturbing everybody. Now they too have learnt. The acceptable practice is to walk out of the room if you have an urgent call to take. Then you had the blackberry revolution. People accessing mails on their phones in meetings. The problem is so chronic that in some meetings one boss of mine started asking for cell phones to be deposited in one corner so that no is disturbed by them. You cant access the phones at all. Cool nah!
But one specific development has to be the most blatant one of them. The humble laptop. Actually it’s the arrogant laptop with wireless net connectivity. Bloody hell. Today in a meeting at least five guys were with their laptops open. How arrogant can you get? So you blatantly work on your mails or anything while a presentation is on. How on earth is that acceptable? To my mind its worse than a cell phone ringing. You are in a meeting only physically while mentally you have compeletly switched off.
While I understand this happening in really long meetings but today was a two hour meeting with specific agenda and matters were being discussed that added value to a business instantly. Dam it. They use the laptop screen as a charade in front of your face. It probably hides the dumbness of person in question and attempts to look smarter than one actually is. Sometimes a laptop is usefull when everybody is discussing numbers and everyone has a number to refer to or some sort of thing like that. but most of the time its nothing.
There is this one guy that I see all the time in every meeting with a laptop in front of him. Even small meetings. What does he do on it? I am curious. I am sure he is not writing the minutes. I guess it’s his security blanket. He never contributes in the meetings. He is silent and staring at his laptop screen. I assume he thinks that the glow from his screen in a dark room will add a touch of halo to his persona.
But one specific development has to be the most blatant one of them. The humble laptop. Actually it’s the arrogant laptop with wireless net connectivity. Bloody hell. Today in a meeting at least five guys were with their laptops open. How arrogant can you get? So you blatantly work on your mails or anything while a presentation is on. How on earth is that acceptable? To my mind its worse than a cell phone ringing. You are in a meeting only physically while mentally you have compeletly switched off.
While I understand this happening in really long meetings but today was a two hour meeting with specific agenda and matters were being discussed that added value to a business instantly. Dam it. They use the laptop screen as a charade in front of your face. It probably hides the dumbness of person in question and attempts to look smarter than one actually is. Sometimes a laptop is usefull when everybody is discussing numbers and everyone has a number to refer to or some sort of thing like that. but most of the time its nothing.
There is this one guy that I see all the time in every meeting with a laptop in front of him. Even small meetings. What does he do on it? I am curious. I am sure he is not writing the minutes. I guess it’s his security blanket. He never contributes in the meetings. He is silent and staring at his laptop screen. I assume he thinks that the glow from his screen in a dark room will add a touch of halo to his persona.
Monday, March 08, 2010
what a racquet
Jispa has been improving in her badminton class and her coach has asked us to get her a new light racquet. We went to town and got one for her. A yonex full graphite racquet. I thought that was overkill for her. But it cost around 900 (MRP 1500). I wanted to buy something cheaper but jasmine was keen on buying something nice. My theory is that her game hasn’t really reached a level where it would have made a difference and a slightly cheaper one might be the right thing for her. Whatever. But since there was hardly a price differential, we bought it nevertheless. Life has changed and how. When we came in from Dubai to Mumbai in 4th standard, we had a cultural shock of depravation. India had third grade equipment and epically in sports it was pathetic. My dad played sports in Dubai and we got along to India, some of his equipment such as tennis, TT and badminton racquets. In India mom went hyper and stored these racquets in the cupboard, safe from our eyes and hands. That Yonex racquet was only meant to see and feel, not play and spoil. I guess its still lying in her cupboard hiding somewhere. It must feeling bad that it has grown old without seeing too much sunlight. Even the tennis racquets have become obsolete now. One was a Wilson wooden frame racquet. She might probably get some cash from Sothbeys for it. I don’t think she ever realised that India would grow to be a land of relative plenty. The way these racquets are kept in a shop a metro, they almost look like vegetables. We used to remove the Yonnex racquet from the cupboard when mom was not at home, swing it around, smell it etc etc and put it back. I never dared to play with it. Jispa was excited on getting a new racquet. That too with a cover, full body cover. She was pretty happy. A new piece of equipment is always cherished and if used well and happens to grow old with you, it will be cherished even more. What an emotion. I grew up with very little of these. I felt happy and excited when I bought myself a pair of new gloves around five years ago. I loved buying my batting pads as well. Now they are old but I am at loathe to get rid of it. I have been rapped on it many times and they are in many ways my saviours. How can I discard them in such a hurry and simply but new ones? Sacrilege!
On another note, we saw this movie on Friday -“Road, movie”. This was before the reviews came in the papers. Any movie with Abhay Deol, would be an interesting watch. At least it would be different. Well this one was different. It had very nice characters and some amazing shots of the Rann of Kutch…. Er. That’s it. We did not understand anything more about it. It was an 11 pm show and Jasmine toh even slept through parts of it. We had a bunch of Gujju guys behind. They were probably on their bachelors’ night out and their commentary was constant and irritating. If they got a joke they would repeat it and translate it for their peers. Oh man, really tiresome. These movies must have a warning for these gujjus. So what’s the verdict on the movie? I don’t know. It was nice but weird. The next day I attempted to understand it through the critics, but sadly they were even more pathetic. I guess when you make such movies that supposed to be arty not but too complicated for any one to really understand, they tend to get such reviews. I guess no one wants to call the emperor naked for fearing of exposing their own stupidity. Like the TOI who gave it a good rating but said it does not have any story. I thought a story is central to a movie. Good locales and scenery is meant for a gallery release not a mainline theatre. But hell. Go see it. It is difficult to dislike but it is also difficult to fathom or comprehend. A real mixed bag.
On another note, we saw this movie on Friday -“Road, movie”. This was before the reviews came in the papers. Any movie with Abhay Deol, would be an interesting watch. At least it would be different. Well this one was different. It had very nice characters and some amazing shots of the Rann of Kutch…. Er. That’s it. We did not understand anything more about it. It was an 11 pm show and Jasmine toh even slept through parts of it. We had a bunch of Gujju guys behind. They were probably on their bachelors’ night out and their commentary was constant and irritating. If they got a joke they would repeat it and translate it for their peers. Oh man, really tiresome. These movies must have a warning for these gujjus. So what’s the verdict on the movie? I don’t know. It was nice but weird. The next day I attempted to understand it through the critics, but sadly they were even more pathetic. I guess when you make such movies that supposed to be arty not but too complicated for any one to really understand, they tend to get such reviews. I guess no one wants to call the emperor naked for fearing of exposing their own stupidity. Like the TOI who gave it a good rating but said it does not have any story. I thought a story is central to a movie. Good locales and scenery is meant for a gallery release not a mainline theatre. But hell. Go see it. It is difficult to dislike but it is also difficult to fathom or comprehend. A real mixed bag.
Friday, March 05, 2010
the blind spot
Arrogance almost cost me something very important and good. HR sent a mail saying that they are organising a yoga class which will be held in the premises. Which was very good according to me. Then I read on … it said that the yoga class will cost some amount. They did not disclose the amount.
“Hence please rush & send in your entries to the following mail id latest by February 08, 2010. Please note that participation will be on a first come first serve basis. This opportunity comes to you at a small price which we will let you know shortly.”
The amount never came in. I was like what on earth. How can you expect me to respond when you don’t tell me what the amount is? Tch tch what arrogance. Then one of my team members who had enrolled came to me and said that she had enrolled and it was around 700 bucks. She urged me to enrol. I sent a mail to one of the HR personnel and left it at that. No response. I didn’t pursue it much further. More arrogance. I had sent the mail nah!
Then I came to know that the class was full. 20 slots were all taken. After a couple of classes I asked around and found that hardly seven to eight regularly attend. There was room. I barged in one day and started attending the sessions. Lets see who has the balls to throw me out.
Nobody did. It has already made an impact in my life. My back feels much better. Soon enough HR reconciled and added me in and I paid the fees today. Cool nah?
My arrogance almost cost me a berth but my resilience bailed me out. Bach gaya saala.
Sometimes in our arrogance we don’t realise what we end up missing. Our arrogance in making the first move – “she should say something nah!” Our arrogance in ignoring advice, etc etc. my own personal arrogance that I fight daily because I read a lot so I think I know a lot. Our arrogance does not let us enjoy movies, plays or even simple things in life.
I have to and I will fight it daily and everywhere. I must.
“Hence please rush & send in your entries to the following mail id latest by February 08, 2010. Please note that participation will be on a first come first serve basis. This opportunity comes to you at a small price which we will let you know shortly.”
The amount never came in. I was like what on earth. How can you expect me to respond when you don’t tell me what the amount is? Tch tch what arrogance. Then one of my team members who had enrolled came to me and said that she had enrolled and it was around 700 bucks. She urged me to enrol. I sent a mail to one of the HR personnel and left it at that. No response. I didn’t pursue it much further. More arrogance. I had sent the mail nah!
Then I came to know that the class was full. 20 slots were all taken. After a couple of classes I asked around and found that hardly seven to eight regularly attend. There was room. I barged in one day and started attending the sessions. Lets see who has the balls to throw me out.
Nobody did. It has already made an impact in my life. My back feels much better. Soon enough HR reconciled and added me in and I paid the fees today. Cool nah?
My arrogance almost cost me a berth but my resilience bailed me out. Bach gaya saala.
Sometimes in our arrogance we don’t realise what we end up missing. Our arrogance in making the first move – “she should say something nah!” Our arrogance in ignoring advice, etc etc. my own personal arrogance that I fight daily because I read a lot so I think I know a lot. Our arrogance does not let us enjoy movies, plays or even simple things in life.
I have to and I will fight it daily and everywhere. I must.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
sawal ka jawab
This is a painting that Jispa was doing in MS paint.
This is what she was also doing and she emailed this to me via her mommy.
So I also replied thus
Those who don’t get it – go here
This is what she was also doing and she emailed this to me via her mommy.
So I also replied thusThose who don’t get it – go here
profoundipity
One of my regular readers was talking to me the other day about my blog. How she reads it everyday and how she likes to have coffee (or was it tea) while reading it. It is her two bit of reading before she gets into work… and other such similar stuff. She had one complaint though, or should I say feedback. She says that I nowadays write too short and there is no gyan there. She urges me to write something profound.
Well profound is not a rabbit that I can pull off from my hat but it is as a result of something that might have happened to me or something that made me see light of day. That doesn’t happen everyday. Also after you simply life largely, you get less and less stuff that’s profound. It’s like the ultimate truth, once you know it, there is nothing more to learn. Not that I know the ultimate truth but things have surely simplified for me over the years.
The ultimate strength of your truth is the fact that you keep applying often to many and varied situations. These help you ratify your theories and strengthen them. They then aecome the basis for your actions. Now here I do not pass a value judgement on these theories. Now of my colleagues was talking about an ex boss who happened to be my college friend. My colleague and I had complete opposite images of the person. It seems like he was the greatest guy in college who went on to sell his soul to the corporate devil. What happened? I answered that possibly he encountered corporate life and realised that this place stinks and he would have seen no option but to sell his soul. His must have learnt something along the way.
So each to his own truth.
Yesterday I got pissed at the stress levels in my team. Unwittingly they had gotten them selves into a position that made them forget balance and were sitting till late everyday. I gave one short terse lecture on leaving office at 6 everyday and that I need to know specifically if anything was keeping them at office. A small nudge on this was provided by one KRA mail that was sent by the boss. One of the division’s KRA was to make ours the best place to work. I see it as one in the line of empty statements. I believe that making this statement is useless; you have to believe and act accordingly. And if you believe in it, it should have been done and there is no point making the statement. But whatever the wisdom, if the statement is made, I am going to be the guy trying to make it work in some manner in my control. Hence the tirade…
On another profound note (dedicated to that earlier mentioned reader). I go for swimming in the morning. Some of the kiddie champs finish about the time I get in. one of the boys (around 12 years) was in the shower. The door is open. He is there standing under the shower with his trunks on. He is just there. He is not moving. The shower is just falling on his back. The steam is coming from it and he is just there not moving, simply staring. A typical 12 year old to bored to really shower. I am looking at him. No movement, just a stand and stare. For some reason I reach out and close his shower cabin door and he wakes up from his stupor. He quickly comes out and starts drying himself. He wet his bum. That was his shower after the swim. Kid, I mumble to myself.
What was profound about that? You dip in the water and sharpen it again and again, o kaalia I read your mind.
Well profound is not a rabbit that I can pull off from my hat but it is as a result of something that might have happened to me or something that made me see light of day. That doesn’t happen everyday. Also after you simply life largely, you get less and less stuff that’s profound. It’s like the ultimate truth, once you know it, there is nothing more to learn. Not that I know the ultimate truth but things have surely simplified for me over the years.
The ultimate strength of your truth is the fact that you keep applying often to many and varied situations. These help you ratify your theories and strengthen them. They then aecome the basis for your actions. Now here I do not pass a value judgement on these theories. Now of my colleagues was talking about an ex boss who happened to be my college friend. My colleague and I had complete opposite images of the person. It seems like he was the greatest guy in college who went on to sell his soul to the corporate devil. What happened? I answered that possibly he encountered corporate life and realised that this place stinks and he would have seen no option but to sell his soul. His must have learnt something along the way.
So each to his own truth.
Yesterday I got pissed at the stress levels in my team. Unwittingly they had gotten them selves into a position that made them forget balance and were sitting till late everyday. I gave one short terse lecture on leaving office at 6 everyday and that I need to know specifically if anything was keeping them at office. A small nudge on this was provided by one KRA mail that was sent by the boss. One of the division’s KRA was to make ours the best place to work. I see it as one in the line of empty statements. I believe that making this statement is useless; you have to believe and act accordingly. And if you believe in it, it should have been done and there is no point making the statement. But whatever the wisdom, if the statement is made, I am going to be the guy trying to make it work in some manner in my control. Hence the tirade…
On another profound note (dedicated to that earlier mentioned reader). I go for swimming in the morning. Some of the kiddie champs finish about the time I get in. one of the boys (around 12 years) was in the shower. The door is open. He is there standing under the shower with his trunks on. He is just there. He is not moving. The shower is just falling on his back. The steam is coming from it and he is just there not moving, simply staring. A typical 12 year old to bored to really shower. I am looking at him. No movement, just a stand and stare. For some reason I reach out and close his shower cabin door and he wakes up from his stupor. He quickly comes out and starts drying himself. He wet his bum. That was his shower after the swim. Kid, I mumble to myself.
What was profound about that? You dip in the water and sharpen it again and again, o kaalia I read your mind.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Character
We are planning another holiday. Two actually. One that we hope to take in June and another that we plan to take right away in March.
We have gotten into this travel bug since the last five six years. Before that Jispa was quite small to really take her anywhere and before that I guess I didn’t really earn enough. I also had skipped quite a few jobs, so no one job could really have me settled enough to get leave.
So of late we have been travelling, enough to plan one vacation as soon as another is ending. That is good fun, but the stress on planning one is quite tiresome.
I like to be sure of where I am going, what am I likely to be doing / visiting etc. The trick is in being fluid as well as having a list of places that one can visit. So we would typically be armed with print outs from various web searches and of course the favourite – the lonely planet.
I first started using the lonely planet for trips abroad and loved the detailing and honest reporting. That made me look at the same for India as well. Wonder why it eluded me till now. Now we don’t go anywhere with out. Our standard procedure is to read the book, mark out, discuss and then surf for the same on tripadvisor.com. We only stay at the place if you we get a thumbs up from both the sources. The book being the proposer and the site being the seconder. So we look for reviews that say ‘charming’, ‘clean’, ‘welcoming’, ‘friendly’. Those key words gets our attention and then go through the photos online and voila – decision taken.
Yesterday while researching Goa (upcoming trip) we realised that now we have been spoilt. We saw quite a few clean places and nice ones but I somehow couldn’t care enough to stay in them. I was telling Jasmine – I want hotel with a character. A clean box with a fan and a fridge is not enough. Some old villa perhaps, some interesting owner, close to action perhaps, or just a lovely view. But it has to have something. I guess this thanks to a few years of roaming around with the lonely planet and being enchanted with their hotel descriptions.
So now with Jispa and Jasmine – we try and get mobile – walk around, see the places and eat at the lovely cafes. The foreigners have got their travel right. I cant understand the concept of organised tours at all. One of jispa’s friend’s dad was once asking me ‘ how do you guys travel?’. I was like – just research and travel. “what about Jispa?” he asked, “what about her?” I replied. He then explained “we always go with an organised tour. This way there is always company with us and hence our kid doesn’t get bored as well”. Huh. I mumbled something about… yaa… right.. correct… something something… I always hate travelling with other families. I am pretty picky about whom I go out with. Really known and amiable friends only. Not some random known acquaintances or a vacation group.
Some other parents wonder what the kid will do at a fort. What she does? Jispa listens to the guide along with us, trying to understand. We try and translate what we can to her. Simple.
People take servants to their vacations. To take care of the kids. Great. Someone in office told me – when we go on a vacation my husband sits at the pool with his beer and chills; I then roam on my own and I plan for activities for the kid. Cheers to you too.
I don’t see their point. I love vacation time. It’s a chance to spend time with Jispa and Jasmine. Its time to play with my daughter, understand stuff, translate stuff for her, have coffee together etc etc. its also a reason that jasmine and me never understood the need for a five star. We are never in the hotel. What’s the point? A nice clean place with ‘character’ will do. Home stays are awesome as well.
I guess as kids grow up they get pretty independent but as of now, I guess I am pretty ok company. One recent deadly example.
On the morning of Holi we are waking up Jispa to get her to go to a friends place for Holi. She suddenly does an about turn and does not want to go. ‘I don’t feel like playing holi’. Her friends are frantic and try talking some sense to her on the phone. It more like selling to her, but she remained adamant. Her obstinate reason: She wanted to stay at home and play with nanu. Whose nanu? ME. Its the game I had invented for her to hold my hand. I play the role of the small boy who needs to be taken care of. If you leave his hand then he will run around like crazy. It works awesome in malls when we are bored while jasmine is shopping; I suddenly keep running around with her trying to catch me, while shouting “NANU, NANU, come here. Naughty boy”. Full timepass. It sure beats helping Jasmine choose footwear. This game has caught on with her friends as well as they play with their papas. Its one fun thing. No matter how pissed she could get with me, one Nanu face will get it all sorted.
This has been played almost 24X7 since more than a year now. I am the nanu (small), she is motu (big) and jasmine is bau motu (very big) baybu (child).
We have gotten into this travel bug since the last five six years. Before that Jispa was quite small to really take her anywhere and before that I guess I didn’t really earn enough. I also had skipped quite a few jobs, so no one job could really have me settled enough to get leave.
So of late we have been travelling, enough to plan one vacation as soon as another is ending. That is good fun, but the stress on planning one is quite tiresome.
I like to be sure of where I am going, what am I likely to be doing / visiting etc. The trick is in being fluid as well as having a list of places that one can visit. So we would typically be armed with print outs from various web searches and of course the favourite – the lonely planet.
I first started using the lonely planet for trips abroad and loved the detailing and honest reporting. That made me look at the same for India as well. Wonder why it eluded me till now. Now we don’t go anywhere with out. Our standard procedure is to read the book, mark out, discuss and then surf for the same on tripadvisor.com. We only stay at the place if you we get a thumbs up from both the sources. The book being the proposer and the site being the seconder. So we look for reviews that say ‘charming’, ‘clean’, ‘welcoming’, ‘friendly’. Those key words gets our attention and then go through the photos online and voila – decision taken.
Yesterday while researching Goa (upcoming trip) we realised that now we have been spoilt. We saw quite a few clean places and nice ones but I somehow couldn’t care enough to stay in them. I was telling Jasmine – I want hotel with a character. A clean box with a fan and a fridge is not enough. Some old villa perhaps, some interesting owner, close to action perhaps, or just a lovely view. But it has to have something. I guess this thanks to a few years of roaming around with the lonely planet and being enchanted with their hotel descriptions.
So now with Jispa and Jasmine – we try and get mobile – walk around, see the places and eat at the lovely cafes. The foreigners have got their travel right. I cant understand the concept of organised tours at all. One of jispa’s friend’s dad was once asking me ‘ how do you guys travel?’. I was like – just research and travel. “what about Jispa?” he asked, “what about her?” I replied. He then explained “we always go with an organised tour. This way there is always company with us and hence our kid doesn’t get bored as well”. Huh. I mumbled something about… yaa… right.. correct… something something… I always hate travelling with other families. I am pretty picky about whom I go out with. Really known and amiable friends only. Not some random known acquaintances or a vacation group.
Some other parents wonder what the kid will do at a fort. What she does? Jispa listens to the guide along with us, trying to understand. We try and translate what we can to her. Simple.
People take servants to their vacations. To take care of the kids. Great. Someone in office told me – when we go on a vacation my husband sits at the pool with his beer and chills; I then roam on my own and I plan for activities for the kid. Cheers to you too.
I don’t see their point. I love vacation time. It’s a chance to spend time with Jispa and Jasmine. Its time to play with my daughter, understand stuff, translate stuff for her, have coffee together etc etc. its also a reason that jasmine and me never understood the need for a five star. We are never in the hotel. What’s the point? A nice clean place with ‘character’ will do. Home stays are awesome as well.
I guess as kids grow up they get pretty independent but as of now, I guess I am pretty ok company. One recent deadly example.
On the morning of Holi we are waking up Jispa to get her to go to a friends place for Holi. She suddenly does an about turn and does not want to go. ‘I don’t feel like playing holi’. Her friends are frantic and try talking some sense to her on the phone. It more like selling to her, but she remained adamant. Her obstinate reason: She wanted to stay at home and play with nanu. Whose nanu? ME. Its the game I had invented for her to hold my hand. I play the role of the small boy who needs to be taken care of. If you leave his hand then he will run around like crazy. It works awesome in malls when we are bored while jasmine is shopping; I suddenly keep running around with her trying to catch me, while shouting “NANU, NANU, come here. Naughty boy”. Full timepass. It sure beats helping Jasmine choose footwear. This game has caught on with her friends as well as they play with their papas. Its one fun thing. No matter how pissed she could get with me, one Nanu face will get it all sorted.
This has been played almost 24X7 since more than a year now. I am the nanu (small), she is motu (big) and jasmine is bau motu (very big) baybu (child).
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
relax....
I have started attending the yoga class at office. It’s twice a week at 6 in the evening. A very nice and sweet lady comes to teach. She obviously got tons of experience as a yoga teacher and she surely knows what asans the guys are absolutely pathetic at. She makes the class a bit light, so it gets nice with everybody smiling. Of course some will never smile and roam with the weight of the world behind them. Yoga cant do everything I guess. And also at 35 years I realised, I am the oldest idiot on the floor. The whole bloody class is younger than me. I guess I cope pretty ok, thanks to the fat stiff buggas but its something that I guess I have get used to as I grow older.
Back to the instructor…While the chatter box approach helps, it is a little distracting doing savasan. That is the pose where you play dead and relax your whole body and mind. So its fine when she askes to relax… relax the mind… the body… forget all thoughts… and then she goes on to say “forget everything… your spouse, your family, your job everything”. There that does it. How can you keep a blank mind when somebody is busy telling you what to forget? Oh shucks, she reminded me of all my responsibilities. No more relaxing for me.
Back to the instructor…While the chatter box approach helps, it is a little distracting doing savasan. That is the pose where you play dead and relax your whole body and mind. So its fine when she askes to relax… relax the mind… the body… forget all thoughts… and then she goes on to say “forget everything… your spouse, your family, your job everything”. There that does it. How can you keep a blank mind when somebody is busy telling you what to forget? Oh shucks, she reminded me of all my responsibilities. No more relaxing for me.
Friday, February 26, 2010
budget blues
Today is the day for the annual finance jamboree. The day the finance minister of India announces his budget. Me and budget go back a long way. All self respecting gujjus would follow the budget. My first memories of the budget was following it on DD news where the highlights would be telecast. I remember the then finance minister VP Singh under the Rajiv Gandhi government talking about lowering taxes. That created quite a flutter and I remember asking my dad what the hullabaloo was all about. What on earth was a budget? I remember dad explaining me its significance. Since it was VP Singh I remember, a quick Google search dates that to around 1984 to 87. Indoctrination at age around 12 is good gujju legacy. Of course post that the budget and of course the finance minister got rock star status, thanks to Manmohan Singh. The live telecasts and people huddling around to watch what on earth was going to be presented. If I am not mistaken it used to be presented in the evenings (an old Raj legacy) and the stock market would have special sessions timed to coincide with the budget. Over the years it has become lesser and lesser of an event with few surprises and a whole host of policy decisions being taken outside of it.
Also one another thing I remember was that in the good old days, prices would always rise after the budget. I think it was obligatory for the FM to raise taxes on soaps and shampoos and other such stuff. There used to be a huge round of pre budget buying by people in an effort to beat the budget blues. We never did really indulge in it. Till I remember one day mom and dad coming in with a whole host of goodies from Shakari Bhandhar. They had gone shopping and dad used the budget ruse to buy stuff just before the budget was announced. That year Manmohan Singh did a complete U turn and started dropping taxes introducing a more benign taxation scheme, thwarting all efforts of my Dad at beating the blue. Hehehe.
Also one another thing I remember was that in the good old days, prices would always rise after the budget. I think it was obligatory for the FM to raise taxes on soaps and shampoos and other such stuff. There used to be a huge round of pre budget buying by people in an effort to beat the budget blues. We never did really indulge in it. Till I remember one day mom and dad coming in with a whole host of goodies from Shakari Bhandhar. They had gone shopping and dad used the budget ruse to buy stuff just before the budget was announced. That year Manmohan Singh did a complete U turn and started dropping taxes introducing a more benign taxation scheme, thwarting all efforts of my Dad at beating the blue. Hehehe.
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