It’s impossible to deal with arrogance especially if it is coupled with ignorance. I hate getting into arguments. I would live not to. Over a period of time I have learnt that arguments are largely useless and there is no one side to reality or knowledge. There is always another side. Also if you listen to people about their experiences and knowledge you would always tend to gain from them. The problem starts when an opinion hits the conversation. This opinion is strong and driven by attitude as opposed to knowledge. The stronger the opinion the greater chance that it is driven by attitude and not knowledge. Knowledge driven opinion tends to be circumspect in its view, while attitude driven opinions will be accompanied by a large amount of table thumping and rhetoric.
I have seen truly intelligent men be very quiet and understated. They realise the duality of thought process. They are ready to listen to people, the other side of view and realise that every opinion can be countered. Many times there is much to learn from your opponent if only you don’t see them as such. Also the really smart ones are the one that choose not to comment on almost all things. They reserve their judgement on issues they knew little about, they are secure in their knowledge and ready to admit their ignorance.
I sometimes fail to see why so many people have such strong opinions with so little knowledge. I guess five years ago my knowledge was limited as well but my opinion was vast and vehement. Over the last five years the reverse has happened. I think our education might have something to do with it. In school ion a debate you have to take a string opposing stance on anything. You can’t take an opposing stand that says that the first team is not taking a moderate stance. Your stance has to be at the exact opposite. You can’t take centre line.
A centre balanced line that is unable to see black or white is what I have typically seen as the truth. People jump to criticize issues or stands but are unable to see the reason why it has come to fore. People like me who say, relax, see the reason why the act has been done without judging it are complete bores at beast and completely impractical or preachy at worst. We have been taught to take a stand, be the judge and take decisions as if all actions are being played before a court of law that is expected to pass verdict. No dude. Don’t pass verdict. It’s ok. The action happened. That’s all. The moment we pass a verdict too soon we don’t realise the silly errors we are making and are blindsided by the information we don’t have.
Take the recent example of a hotshot tennis star marrying a Pakistani cricket captain. It was alleged that the cricketer was already married to a lady in Hyderabad. One friend of mine explained that bullshit he married her. Look at her she is so fat and ugly. Haha. You have taken your decision not on the facts of the case. You have taken your decision purely on one instance. The lady in question is fat. I asked this lady friend of mine –if it was a hot chick who starred in b grade movies and has a slutty reputation then you would have not believed her at all, if it was a slim pretty girl from a simple family, you would have and you are suspicious of a fat girl. The facts of the case remain the same, yet you believe a case basis some really random peg.
It is so silly. She could have been really slim and then put on weight. Which media report you read said that she was fat from the start. Why is that he could have not fallen for a fat girl and then realised that he could do much better. You have no information but you have an opinion based on your attitude.
Another issue is the feminists that believe that they have it tough and the men have it easy. How can you so say? I truly genuinely believe that women have it tough. The ones who work manage home and office. They do very well. But that does mean I have addressed the issue of tough‘er’. I find the whole argument so brittle. Sure its bad but both sides face issues all the time.
It’s like someone once asked me if I dominate the relationship with me and my wife. Stupid ass question. Just because I seem more outgoing and vocal of the two. I left it to my wife to answer, who at first chuckled. I don’t think anyone can completely dominate anyone in a healthy relationship. It is so difficult so say that. Yesterday someone asked while talking about egos, that don’t men have stronger egos than women. Hah! Ego is not about men or women it’s about power and the situation you use it in. Everyone is equally prone and susceptible to ego, not men more than women. I could only think of one example to counter it. The mother in law and daughter in law fights. They are largely driven by ego and they are prevalent almost everywhere. Does that mean that women tend to have more egos? We take the biggest example in front of us and generalise the rule. So unfair, so driven by attitude as opposed to knowledge.
The criticism of my stand is that is that I have no stand and I will not be able to take a side. Uhhh. Ok. So? It doesn’t stop my decision making. I take my decision basis what I know best at the time simple. At least I am aware and actively receptive to the counter. It will help in changing stand as well. At the time of decision my stand is clear. Till then I don’t need to have a stand. Especially on so many issues that have little bearing on my life. Having mental paradigms stops us from seeing the whole picture and we are unable to see the game unfold. In the current cricket saga, I am not holding anyone guilty, hence I think I am better placed to see the game unfold and the moves being made. This is making the show much more entertaining or enriching. Sit behind, grab a mocha gande and sip it slowly. The world passing by is pretty interesting only if we care to see it unfold.
It is not easy and by all means its not that I can maintain this stand of equanimity at all times. But I try and I keep my senses open. I actively seek fault in my argument and thinking. This helps me learn and improve. Its helps me conquer ego and arrogance. It’s a slow burn. It will take time. Those who know me from before will not believe this blog of mine. I was a twerp, an arrogant one at that. Working with my God Dharen Chadha for about a year has changed me in many ways. His unrivalled knowledge with his willingness to learn more and listen to noises around him while withholding opinion on things outside his knowledge has changed me as a person. My wife many times asks why I don’t call him and keep in touch with him. I don’t know. You keep in touch with God by talking to him. He need not talk back to you. His picture is always burned in my memory. I just can’t get myself to talk to him. I feel so low and insignificant. How can I talk to him? I just can’t.
Thanks to him I started reading, started listening started to understand the value of being moderate. I am not a patch on him, but I am trying as best as I can. So far it has changed me in many ways possible. I hope it is for the better. I sure hope it lasts.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
pub shub hai rubba
It’s a good thing that smoking is banned at indoor venues. Thanks to that yesterday when the office gang decided to go for a night out, I could agree to go to a pub. Normally the only pub I could barely manage was the hard rock café. With its high ceilings and decent air filtration, I could handle the smoke filled interiors.
I am pretty allergic to cigarette smoke. For some reason cigarette smoke makes my ears pain. Yup you read that right. My ears pain. Even if someone comes into the office smoking a cigarette or if the taxi driver has smoked before driving I can smell it and in a closed environment the ears begin to tingle a bit. So pubs have been out of bound for most of my life. Especially the happening ones at Bandra and other suburbs which have low ceilings, bad air-conditioning and no air filtration so as to speak off. Not to mention the cramped places and the really loud music that is played from speakers close enough to burst your ear drums.
Well with one variable viz smoke out of the equation, these fire traps are suddenly much more bearable for people like me. We finally get an opportunity to listen to some good music that we can identify and hum along. My music tastes were mainly those that my elder siblings thrust upon my helpless ears. Right from the girlie music that my elder sister thrust upon us to the complete hard rock that my brother subjected me to. We had only one music player and it was quite clear that I was whale shit in the pecking order and my choice didn’t count. Not that I was an audiophile to start with and I really did not mind. I was happy to get them to spend their pocket money, buying cassettes, recoding music, playing them etc. we had those cassette players which would get spoiled in the Mumbai humidity and they had to keep cleaning the head with some alcohol solution. We used to use dad’s aftershave as well at times. Hehhe. I sure he didn’t know. Not that he cared too much as he was never into perfumes. His bottles lasted forever. I still have one last little bit of after shave lotion in a bottle that he bought before I was born. I loved it and I conserved it with great pains. It was special enough for me to use at my marriage and reception ceremony.
So my music was largely shaped by what I was made to hear rather than by choice. Hence I cant even manage to go these new fangled pubs playing hip hop. I cant understand or importantly identify with the music. And if the music is the glue for the crowds, I cant understand the crowd as well. Not that I want to understand the crowd in any which way possible. I may be happier being a loner than being a pretend.
But yesterday I had an opportunity to go to Hawiian Shack in Bandra. As I expected low ceilings and claustrophobic atmosphere but at least no second hand smoke to inhale. I was also promised that it played my kind of music. The 80’s 90’s rock. Of course no Turbo Lover but at least we had Bruce Springsteen. That’s ok. Also reaching earlier we had a option of choosing the table. We wanted to avoid the one right under the air conditioners, but the those with the ACs had the dam over sized speaker. One table had speakers and woofers next to it. We settled for on in between the two. Just about ok. I must be the only guy who gets into a pub and wants to figure exactly where to sit. I think a misfit from the starting steps.
But in the end it was one pilgrimage done. I have been seeing and hearing about the place since so many years with no chance to go there. I must admit that I enjoyed the music there.
One of the funny things I noticed that on the next table a large crowd from an office had come in. While we were a small but noisy and fun group, that one turned out to be a large and quite group attacking the drinks and food. My guess is that the company was paying for it, or possible it’s the boss taking them out. Get the free booze into your system as fast as possible. Hehe. Ok I might be a little unfair and judgemental. But the archetype in my mind seemed to fit.
The best part of the evening, I got home and I did not have to scrub off the nicotine off my hair, shirt, hands and skin. I just took a quick shower and could hit the bed happy.
I am pretty allergic to cigarette smoke. For some reason cigarette smoke makes my ears pain. Yup you read that right. My ears pain. Even if someone comes into the office smoking a cigarette or if the taxi driver has smoked before driving I can smell it and in a closed environment the ears begin to tingle a bit. So pubs have been out of bound for most of my life. Especially the happening ones at Bandra and other suburbs which have low ceilings, bad air-conditioning and no air filtration so as to speak off. Not to mention the cramped places and the really loud music that is played from speakers close enough to burst your ear drums.
Well with one variable viz smoke out of the equation, these fire traps are suddenly much more bearable for people like me. We finally get an opportunity to listen to some good music that we can identify and hum along. My music tastes were mainly those that my elder siblings thrust upon my helpless ears. Right from the girlie music that my elder sister thrust upon us to the complete hard rock that my brother subjected me to. We had only one music player and it was quite clear that I was whale shit in the pecking order and my choice didn’t count. Not that I was an audiophile to start with and I really did not mind. I was happy to get them to spend their pocket money, buying cassettes, recoding music, playing them etc. we had those cassette players which would get spoiled in the Mumbai humidity and they had to keep cleaning the head with some alcohol solution. We used to use dad’s aftershave as well at times. Hehhe. I sure he didn’t know. Not that he cared too much as he was never into perfumes. His bottles lasted forever. I still have one last little bit of after shave lotion in a bottle that he bought before I was born. I loved it and I conserved it with great pains. It was special enough for me to use at my marriage and reception ceremony.
So my music was largely shaped by what I was made to hear rather than by choice. Hence I cant even manage to go these new fangled pubs playing hip hop. I cant understand or importantly identify with the music. And if the music is the glue for the crowds, I cant understand the crowd as well. Not that I want to understand the crowd in any which way possible. I may be happier being a loner than being a pretend.
But yesterday I had an opportunity to go to Hawiian Shack in Bandra. As I expected low ceilings and claustrophobic atmosphere but at least no second hand smoke to inhale. I was also promised that it played my kind of music. The 80’s 90’s rock. Of course no Turbo Lover but at least we had Bruce Springsteen. That’s ok. Also reaching earlier we had a option of choosing the table. We wanted to avoid the one right under the air conditioners, but the those with the ACs had the dam over sized speaker. One table had speakers and woofers next to it. We settled for on in between the two. Just about ok. I must be the only guy who gets into a pub and wants to figure exactly where to sit. I think a misfit from the starting steps.
But in the end it was one pilgrimage done. I have been seeing and hearing about the place since so many years with no chance to go there. I must admit that I enjoyed the music there.
One of the funny things I noticed that on the next table a large crowd from an office had come in. While we were a small but noisy and fun group, that one turned out to be a large and quite group attacking the drinks and food. My guess is that the company was paying for it, or possible it’s the boss taking them out. Get the free booze into your system as fast as possible. Hehe. Ok I might be a little unfair and judgemental. But the archetype in my mind seemed to fit.
The best part of the evening, I got home and I did not have to scrub off the nicotine off my hair, shirt, hands and skin. I just took a quick shower and could hit the bed happy.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
a tooth story
Around a week back, Jispa lost another tooth. The tooth fairy came calling again and left another 5 rupee coin. I guess that’s how the government manages to circulate the money. It prints less and ensures that the rest is made up by the tooth fairy. That is also probably the reason it makes a record of the births in the country. Then it does an extrapolation and plots the number of babies born, their progression, expected mortality rates, the average age at which you get new teeth etc etc. hence it figures the replacement cost of a tooth versus the five rupee that the fairy generates and leaves behind. It adds that to the money supply in the economy and then adjusts for the same by printing less on its own. This ensures equitable distribution of the money supply as well. While this does all well, how does it manage to account for the missing five rupees in the net worth of the parents every time a child loses a tooth? I guess then it adds up the child’s income from other sources to include the tooth fairy gift and then totals that up as the net gain for a family to account for the net off in family income. Hence balancing the book. Though I wonder if this income of a child which is then clubbed with the parent is taxable at the maximum marginal tax rate. Or I guess that comes under the exceptions of winnings that are exempt up to Rs.5000 in a calendar year. But is the tooth fairy exchange of a tooth for cash a winning or is it a sale? Under which circumstances it is taxable on the profit. And if the basic raw material for the tooth is calcium then milk becomes the input under which am I expected to maintain the milk bills. Then that would be good for me as at five bucks a tooth I am making a huge loss on the transaction which could be set off against the other income I make. Now that’s a happy happy ending.
But to continue Jispa’s story, she wrote a message for the tooth fairy on the white board. She asked for confidence. I wonder why. She thinks she is shy. I don’t think she is. I guess it might be fashionable to be shy. Whatever, but the tooth fairy was quite clear. She said something to this effect - confidence is not something that anyone can give you. It is inside of you. Sometimes when it is a bit lost, take a deep breath and believe in yourself and it will come back. And at the end she even referred to her as ‘superconfident Jispa’. Here is the board as proof.
But to continue Jispa’s story, she wrote a message for the tooth fairy on the white board. She asked for confidence. I wonder why. She thinks she is shy. I don’t think she is. I guess it might be fashionable to be shy. Whatever, but the tooth fairy was quite clear. She said something to this effect - confidence is not something that anyone can give you. It is inside of you. Sometimes when it is a bit lost, take a deep breath and believe in yourself and it will come back. And at the end she even referred to her as ‘superconfident Jispa’. Here is the board as proof.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
the experimentative gujju
Yesterday I experienced the ultimate Gujju fantasy. This kind of stuff is normally reserved for gujju heartland. We Gujju’s can eat anything as long as it is vegetarian. Post that one clause, we are pretty experimentative when it comes to food. And in all gujju favourite dishes you find sweet, salty, spicy and any other taste that the taste buds can decipher; all in one bite. Hence the humble sev puri is a favourite amongst gujjus. The next thing that catches our eyes (and stomachs ) are the sandwiches. Here also we ensure we put all the spices together thanks to the chatni and the sauce we put inside the sandwiches. After that we dunk it further in the chatnis and have it.
So yesterday we were roaming around gujju food heartland (matunga) where I came across this wild preparation. It just did not make sense to me. But the gujju in me awoke to try it and the gujju in me loved it. What was it? Here look at the photo and tell me.
Look again. It is sevpuri toast sandwich. I did not even know it existed. But this enterprising guy figured it out. He takes a bread slice and arranges a few sev puris on it and then covers it with another bread slice and then toasts it. eeew. But it tastes great and the puris aren’t soft after the toasting. Funny but tasty. What would we do without gujjus.
So yesterday we were roaming around gujju food heartland (matunga) where I came across this wild preparation. It just did not make sense to me. But the gujju in me awoke to try it and the gujju in me loved it. What was it? Here look at the photo and tell me.
Look again. It is sevpuri toast sandwich. I did not even know it existed. But this enterprising guy figured it out. He takes a bread slice and arranges a few sev puris on it and then covers it with another bread slice and then toasts it. eeew. But it tastes great and the puris aren’t soft after the toasting. Funny but tasty. What would we do without gujjus.
Monday, April 12, 2010
simple thinking
What we learn from everyday life is enough to teach us a thing or two about business. We probably don’t need any great management book to really tell us the secret. The Times of India seems to have sold its soul in the movie review section. They seem to be writing only glossy reviews with a view not to antagonise any parties. I have seen this rubbish before and the latest being the one on the movie ‘jane kahan se aayi hai’. Compromising the integrity, or if I were to give them some credit, compromising the quality of a simple movie review casts aspersions on general edit quality of the paper as a whole. Every small action adds up in the consumers mind. If he can’t trust your review, slowly he starts asking questions on other topics as well. Kids grow up listening to their parents rubbishing the paper. What happens to a brand that took 150 plus years to build?
Rarely we are corporates understand the huge repercussions of our immediate actions. We pay bonus and increments year on year. We focus on March end numbers. I haven’t heard any boss appraise anyone on the culture that they have helped build and hence reward them for the same. We just won’t understand. The web is teaching us today the value of public relations. On the web every opinion will be made and possibly stored for posterity. Someone will sooner or later come out with software that aggregates data and opinion and beliefs over a larger period of time. Then companies will rue that they gave customers the short end of the stick. They still don’t understand the value of the peer on the web. I see ads in new papers saying “we are now on facebook”. Well if you had an interesting idea and a reason then the community itself will adopt you without waiting for an advert proclaiming so. What a rubbish idea. The brand managers need to show that they have an online strategy and hence any rubbish – one FB page, one stupid twitter account and some other rubbish. Missing in the equation is the consumer. Err…Who’s that girl?
Forget that. Let’s focus on the movie which got a decent review. Jasmine and I were happy to go for the show at it was a morning show at the theatre next door. At 80 bucks a head no movie can be really that bad. Ritesh Deshmukh couldn’t have been all that bad. He does do a good job as a side kick. Well…. I think that’s that. He is good side kick but as a stand alone actor he has some distance to go. Add to it an actress who can’t act and a hackneyed script. But we had fun. Some stupid slapstick and we had Jispa rolling in the aisles. I guess it’s a fun movie for kids. I assumed that Jispa did not get any of x rates jokes in it (pretty corny). With Jispa as the laugh track almost anything is funny.
At home we have been seeing this really old movie ‘seeta aur geeta’. Standard twins separated at birth fare. We are enjoying that as well.
-------------
While coming in today I heard a radio ad for Digene, the chewable anti acidity tablet. The strawberry flavour is now in sugar free version. Huh? I know everything is now sugar free and contains aspartame or some other agent which some of us suspect is carcinogenic over the long run. I try and avoid the stuff, now I will have to even check Digene for it. My first reaction was ‘incredulous’. Come on. One small tablet with sugar can’t really kill your diet and make you put on kilos. But then on second thoughts it’s a perfect brand fit. Those who eat a lot or don’t control their diet are the ones who are large consumers of anti acids and these guys are the top target for sugar free stuff. One large burger with extra cheese, one large fires and a diet coke please.
Rarely we are corporates understand the huge repercussions of our immediate actions. We pay bonus and increments year on year. We focus on March end numbers. I haven’t heard any boss appraise anyone on the culture that they have helped build and hence reward them for the same. We just won’t understand. The web is teaching us today the value of public relations. On the web every opinion will be made and possibly stored for posterity. Someone will sooner or later come out with software that aggregates data and opinion and beliefs over a larger period of time. Then companies will rue that they gave customers the short end of the stick. They still don’t understand the value of the peer on the web. I see ads in new papers saying “we are now on facebook”. Well if you had an interesting idea and a reason then the community itself will adopt you without waiting for an advert proclaiming so. What a rubbish idea. The brand managers need to show that they have an online strategy and hence any rubbish – one FB page, one stupid twitter account and some other rubbish. Missing in the equation is the consumer. Err…Who’s that girl?
Forget that. Let’s focus on the movie which got a decent review. Jasmine and I were happy to go for the show at it was a morning show at the theatre next door. At 80 bucks a head no movie can be really that bad. Ritesh Deshmukh couldn’t have been all that bad. He does do a good job as a side kick. Well…. I think that’s that. He is good side kick but as a stand alone actor he has some distance to go. Add to it an actress who can’t act and a hackneyed script. But we had fun. Some stupid slapstick and we had Jispa rolling in the aisles. I guess it’s a fun movie for kids. I assumed that Jispa did not get any of x rates jokes in it (pretty corny). With Jispa as the laugh track almost anything is funny.
At home we have been seeing this really old movie ‘seeta aur geeta’. Standard twins separated at birth fare. We are enjoying that as well.
-------------
While coming in today I heard a radio ad for Digene, the chewable anti acidity tablet. The strawberry flavour is now in sugar free version. Huh? I know everything is now sugar free and contains aspartame or some other agent which some of us suspect is carcinogenic over the long run. I try and avoid the stuff, now I will have to even check Digene for it. My first reaction was ‘incredulous’. Come on. One small tablet with sugar can’t really kill your diet and make you put on kilos. But then on second thoughts it’s a perfect brand fit. Those who eat a lot or don’t control their diet are the ones who are large consumers of anti acids and these guys are the top target for sugar free stuff. One large burger with extra cheese, one large fires and a diet coke please.
Friday, April 09, 2010
jumping jack
When you run out of ideas to blog about… you open the photos folders and think of something to upload. Here is something interesting. This was in 2007 when we were visiting Ranthambore and Bharatpur. While we were at Rathambore fort I just this wild idea and made Jispa jump before taking this snap.
Then we got all excited with the results and made Jispa jump in front of the Taj Mahal which we visited a few days later. I think we completely missed the point of the great mausoleum. Poor shah jahan must turned in his grave. Clicking the Taj with you kid jumping in front of it. haha.
We went to Bharatpur again the following year with some friends and visited the Taj again. This time around I was pretty shocked to see the official photographers there talking photos of kids while encouraging them to jump on his count, before capturing the moment. They copied my style. Hell now we will have a large bunch of photos of people jumping in front the tomb. Now millions more will miss the point. What have I started? But on second thoughts, let me look at the market it replaced. These idiots were normally the guys who would have posed with their hand outstretched and their fingers joined as if they were picking up the Taj.
Have you seen those? Let me see if I can google a few images. “taj in your fingertips’ did not get me the desired results, but ‘holding the taj mahal’, now that’s another matter altogether. Here is one such photo… now when you look at the thing I replaced; it’s probably not so bad after all.
Then we got all excited with the results and made Jispa jump in front of the Taj Mahal which we visited a few days later. I think we completely missed the point of the great mausoleum. Poor shah jahan must turned in his grave. Clicking the Taj with you kid jumping in front of it. haha.
We went to Bharatpur again the following year with some friends and visited the Taj again. This time around I was pretty shocked to see the official photographers there talking photos of kids while encouraging them to jump on his count, before capturing the moment. They copied my style. Hell now we will have a large bunch of photos of people jumping in front the tomb. Now millions more will miss the point. What have I started? But on second thoughts, let me look at the market it replaced. These idiots were normally the guys who would have posed with their hand outstretched and their fingers joined as if they were picking up the Taj.
Have you seen those? Let me see if I can google a few images. “taj in your fingertips’ did not get me the desired results, but ‘holding the taj mahal’, now that’s another matter altogether. Here is one such photo… now when you look at the thing I replaced; it’s probably not so bad after all.
Thursday, April 08, 2010
summer funk
Oh darn its summertime. I hate the swimming pool in summers. These days every body want to hit the pool in the morning. It’s a bloody riot. First there are lots of slippers and only a few are in the rack. I understand kids not putting them in the rack but adults? then the changing room. Today all the hangars were taken. I was wondering how to hang my clothes. I almost thought I might have to fold them and place them on the rack. Not that it would have mattered much, but I have my office clothes on which I don’t really want to crumple up. Luckily one guy came out and took his clothes from the hangar allowing me the privilege. Till then I was looking at all the t shirts and shorts which were hanging there wondering if could just yank them off. You don’t really need to hang t shirts and shorts on hangars. As if they would crease up other wise.
Then I hit the pool. Man, there was no clear line to follow. I could see people in all the lanes. I so hate the way the guys who come regularly to swim and do that lazy and slow breast stroke. They don’t even need to breathe hard. I just see them bobbing up and down. Normally I never had an issue with it, but when these guys end up slowing up the lane its irritating. But its still ok… lets get progressively worse. Next on the line are the irritating women who will swim in the line that you have already taken off, and that too in the opposite direction. So a mid lane collision is imminent. In any case Matunga gym pool doesn’t follow lane discipline, but a little care and common sense would help. To day half way through I realised I was going to hit a boulder of a women and changed lanes. Luckily no one was coming from the opposite side. I try and set a route and pick a lane before I set off. Now I also look for potential women starting off. In fact now I even look for potential men starting off and switch lanes.
Today I managed to track one guy who was swimming properly and decided that the best strategy would be to follow him. I am a bit faster than most swimmers and hence need to give my self adequate distance before taking off, or else I might find myself getting kicked on the face.
The worst bit – the talking men. If I earlier thought that women can gossip, then the men take eth cake. They can talk on and on and on. They talk while showering, shouting across the shower cubicles. They talk outside the showers while in the bathroom while getting ready. Once I caught a pair talking while I came in and were still talking when I was walking out. In the changing room and in their swimming trunks. Wow. But that’s still ok. The irritating ones are the ones talking in the pool. They stand at the shallow end and talk and talk. On an empty winter day, sure enough, sit in your corner and yap away. But in summer when the pool is filled enough, get out of my way. Allow me place to stop and catch my breath. These guys haven’t figures the difference between the swimming pool and a Jacuzzi. Standing in the pool at eth shallow end for 15 minutes and talking. They talk shop, they talk ‘gossip’, they play match making. Everything we men blame women for. They are right there, talking. In the guise of exercise.
I miss the winter. Dark morning and cold waters. No one in the pool. Absolutely no one. I am swimming alone. The changing room is empty, the racks are free. Wow. I asked the attendant “till when will this traffic jam last?” “two months”. Man I cant wait for the rains to start. Good lazy mornings and people will want to stay in their beds. Thank god for small mercies.
Then I hit the pool. Man, there was no clear line to follow. I could see people in all the lanes. I so hate the way the guys who come regularly to swim and do that lazy and slow breast stroke. They don’t even need to breathe hard. I just see them bobbing up and down. Normally I never had an issue with it, but when these guys end up slowing up the lane its irritating. But its still ok… lets get progressively worse. Next on the line are the irritating women who will swim in the line that you have already taken off, and that too in the opposite direction. So a mid lane collision is imminent. In any case Matunga gym pool doesn’t follow lane discipline, but a little care and common sense would help. To day half way through I realised I was going to hit a boulder of a women and changed lanes. Luckily no one was coming from the opposite side. I try and set a route and pick a lane before I set off. Now I also look for potential women starting off. In fact now I even look for potential men starting off and switch lanes.
Today I managed to track one guy who was swimming properly and decided that the best strategy would be to follow him. I am a bit faster than most swimmers and hence need to give my self adequate distance before taking off, or else I might find myself getting kicked on the face.
The worst bit – the talking men. If I earlier thought that women can gossip, then the men take eth cake. They can talk on and on and on. They talk while showering, shouting across the shower cubicles. They talk outside the showers while in the bathroom while getting ready. Once I caught a pair talking while I came in and were still talking when I was walking out. In the changing room and in their swimming trunks. Wow. But that’s still ok. The irritating ones are the ones talking in the pool. They stand at the shallow end and talk and talk. On an empty winter day, sure enough, sit in your corner and yap away. But in summer when the pool is filled enough, get out of my way. Allow me place to stop and catch my breath. These guys haven’t figures the difference between the swimming pool and a Jacuzzi. Standing in the pool at eth shallow end for 15 minutes and talking. They talk shop, they talk ‘gossip’, they play match making. Everything we men blame women for. They are right there, talking. In the guise of exercise.
I miss the winter. Dark morning and cold waters. No one in the pool. Absolutely no one. I am swimming alone. The changing room is empty, the racks are free. Wow. I asked the attendant “till when will this traffic jam last?” “two months”. Man I cant wait for the rains to start. Good lazy mornings and people will want to stay in their beds. Thank god for small mercies.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
wash your hands off
I came across this wonderful piece by Dan Ariely (link) . I have loved this guy and absolutely love the questions he asks and the possible explanations he gives. Yes in many ways adding a disclaimer or a disclosure always allows most corporates to do whatever on hell they want.
“According to the New York Times, the drug maker disclosed that it paid $20 million in consulting and speaking fees to 4,500 doctors in the second half of 2009. The company also shelled out $15.3 million to U.S. academic medical centers for their clinical trials.
A few other drug makers have disclosed their doctor payments in the past, but this is the first time a company has disclosed its payments for clinical trials. As such, some may see this as a good deed on Pfizer’s part, a noble step towards eliminating or reducing some of the conflicts of interest in medicine.
Only, disclosure doesn’t seem to help. Several studies have shown that when professionals disclose their conflicts of interest, this only makes the problem worse. This is because two things happen after disclosure: first, those hearing the disclosure don’t entirely know what to make of it — we’re not good at weighing the various factors in any given situation — and second, the discloser feels morally liberated to act even more in his self-interest and to disregard what’s in the public good”
I worked in corporate India and banking long enough to know that the agreements are horribly one sided and long winded. There is no way for the client or consumer to effectively understand the same. After years in finance and I still don’t understand the simple disclaimer that gets added in every insurance ad –‘insurance is eth subject matter of solicitation’. What on earth does that mean? I know what it means for the marketing person. Say whatever you want and then slap on this in really rapid pace or small font. There… now you are clean. It is the same in all the Initial public offer adverts. Say whatever you want and then slap on the fact that the important disclosures and risk factors are given. The government even made it mandatory to have a form with all the risk factors written on it. This makes for a large unwieldy form. But no one reads that as well. You need a magnifying glass and a lot of patience. If they really care about informing us and keeping us aware why don’t they insist on simple language as risk? – This claim is exaggerated and is most likely not going to happen. No by investing in this fund you are not likely to buy your own aircraft twenty years hence. This company is not making real money, it is a promise, more like a dream. This investment gives the broker commission of 10%. If you default on this loan we will take your car with the help of goons if need be. If you need money for this, then you are likely not to pay this back. We need to bank with us as we have just increased this sales man’s target.
I agree with Dan. Making disclaimers mandatory and agreements mandatory have not protected the consumer. If anything they have given a free hand to business to rip us off. Possibly if we baned them and put the onus back on the corporate to ensure he has not missold. Suppose we can fight in court that we did not really understand this legalese and the court says, sure... your disclaimer must be in the same language as your ad copy, possibly then...
But for now all you have to do is slap on a really inane disclaimer and voila, you are on. Say what to, do what you to, the adams family… the adams family…
“According to the New York Times, the drug maker disclosed that it paid $20 million in consulting and speaking fees to 4,500 doctors in the second half of 2009. The company also shelled out $15.3 million to U.S. academic medical centers for their clinical trials.
A few other drug makers have disclosed their doctor payments in the past, but this is the first time a company has disclosed its payments for clinical trials. As such, some may see this as a good deed on Pfizer’s part, a noble step towards eliminating or reducing some of the conflicts of interest in medicine.
Only, disclosure doesn’t seem to help. Several studies have shown that when professionals disclose their conflicts of interest, this only makes the problem worse. This is because two things happen after disclosure: first, those hearing the disclosure don’t entirely know what to make of it — we’re not good at weighing the various factors in any given situation — and second, the discloser feels morally liberated to act even more in his self-interest and to disregard what’s in the public good”
I worked in corporate India and banking long enough to know that the agreements are horribly one sided and long winded. There is no way for the client or consumer to effectively understand the same. After years in finance and I still don’t understand the simple disclaimer that gets added in every insurance ad –‘insurance is eth subject matter of solicitation’. What on earth does that mean? I know what it means for the marketing person. Say whatever you want and then slap on this in really rapid pace or small font. There… now you are clean. It is the same in all the Initial public offer adverts. Say whatever you want and then slap on the fact that the important disclosures and risk factors are given. The government even made it mandatory to have a form with all the risk factors written on it. This makes for a large unwieldy form. But no one reads that as well. You need a magnifying glass and a lot of patience. If they really care about informing us and keeping us aware why don’t they insist on simple language as risk? – This claim is exaggerated and is most likely not going to happen. No by investing in this fund you are not likely to buy your own aircraft twenty years hence. This company is not making real money, it is a promise, more like a dream. This investment gives the broker commission of 10%. If you default on this loan we will take your car with the help of goons if need be. If you need money for this, then you are likely not to pay this back. We need to bank with us as we have just increased this sales man’s target.
I agree with Dan. Making disclaimers mandatory and agreements mandatory have not protected the consumer. If anything they have given a free hand to business to rip us off. Possibly if we baned them and put the onus back on the corporate to ensure he has not missold. Suppose we can fight in court that we did not really understand this legalese and the court says, sure... your disclaimer must be in the same language as your ad copy, possibly then...
But for now all you have to do is slap on a really inane disclaimer and voila, you are on. Say what to, do what you to, the adams family… the adams family…
dhak dhak
On November 2nd 2009, I completed five years with the current firm. When I started off my career in 1998, I always wanted to work for long in one firm but I guess no firm thought me worthy enough. I had horrendous experience after horrendous experiences. I learnt that to get great salaries one needs to keep changing jobs and moving on. Before my current job the longest I had stayed any where was three years and that was also this current firm. After which I went outside for a year and joined back in. that one year at Momentum was in many ways one of the most important periods of my life where I was able to meet and interact with some outstanding minds and basically change my thinking. But this post is not about that job.
At one point given the number of jobs I changed, I never thought I would complete five years in any one firm. I used to look at the long service awardees and wonder if my turn would ever come. When we had the award function on the 31st of last month, it was a weird moment. It came like a matter of fact event. I did not think about it, I did not even bother too much. I just walked up and collected the award. I have no clue what to do with the trophy, though I very much appreciate the 5gm gold coin given. in the middle a couple of years ago, I got rid of all the trophies that were at my desk. These I had won for corporate football and cricket. I felt the vanity in them especially since I knew that they were for being the best in a hopelessly mediocre segment. It doesn’t take much to defeat fatted unfit bankers and get some awards in the process.
So the 5 year trophy is the only one I have on my table. I guess that trophy might truly be my own. I probably owe that one to myself for keeping the faith and staying on. Hehe.
Since this year the number of awardees were unusually large (our division also completed five years), the five year guys were asked not to give thank you speeches. Though they did circulate a PowerPoint for people to write some special comments that they could show case while giving the awards. I was not going to write any mushy stuff for sure. To one of the questions – which was finally showcased for me – what keeps you here – I wrote two points – I lost my CV and I forgot the rubbish I wrote in; and second point being – I cant explain to anybody else what on earth am I doing at this job. I did not realise that that one would become a hit with the audience and I got some ‘I like’ comments post the function. We are easily amused.
The other brain wave I had was that if we were not going to speak then why not have a camera and record the comments of all the awardees where in they could talk about stuff and they could thank who ever they wanted on camera. Now that was a huge hit (with most of them of course). They came in and spoke to the camera. They were all excited and ready to talk but the poor stage was taken from them. Thank god for my camera. I plan to cut these pieces and put them up for public consumption. I also realised that just because I am a cynical basterd, there is no reason why the world should be one. I was pretty unenthused about the award but all the rest were all charged up and ready to go. Women went shopping the day before. Some guys got new shirts to wear. Many got change of clothes before they set off for the function. One guy got a shave done in the afternoon. Some heroes wore suits. Wow. I guess it does count for something. I don’t what it was. The fact that you are going to receive an award in front of some azar people. The fact that the CEO is going to be present on stage. The fact that you completed five years counts for something. Or it is a being counted emotion. I don’t know. I had none of those. I honestly just liked the five gram of gold. I wonder where is my heart these days? Why do I not feel these emotions. If I thought I had exchanged my heart for a stone with the devil, the fears were quickly unfounded. After the event I asked my man Anil Bose who has been with me for five years what it takes and what he felt. But before he could answer I went into a long speech in front of the camera why I was happy to have him with me. I ended up saying (which is probably true) that I completed five years thank to this man. He has been a great help for me and is responsible for me growing in my current role. In the last five and half years, I have had three direct bosses and a few dotted line reportings. What’s dotted lines? Sighhh… that’s another post. But one thing has remained constant – Anil Bose and his support. We understand each other. Work well with each other and are able to feed off each others strength. In the last five years in front of me he bought a house, got married, got a kid, got the second kid and settled down. Tough going for a boy who lost his parents while he was 17 years old. He managed his life well. He has no other family from his side so as to speak of. For his marriage which was a simple ceremony at his home, I played the role of the groom’s relative who has to hold the sheet between the couple. There was no one else. Every time he has a function, I make it a point to be there. He stays in vasai so does take some going.
I know for him it means a lot for me to come all the way there. He has remarked more than once, that he is happy when we come as he has no other family representation from his side.
The others in the team many times do not understand this. They don’t get it. Many people take their relatives for granted. The fact that they have so many. They fail to see their significance. Family fights have ensured that I am not touch with many of mine. As eth second generation, we have decent regard and love for each other and are more than cordial when we meet. We are even warm. But if the elders don’t exactly get along, there aren’t many instances to deepen ties.
Probably I understand that and I value relations, probably I am going since he is my guy, probably I am just being a kind boss, probably I feel for him, probably I don’t know … I am jut going. But I did feel emotional talking about him and his five years with me.
Hey, I have a heart after all. It beats. It’s warm.
At one point given the number of jobs I changed, I never thought I would complete five years in any one firm. I used to look at the long service awardees and wonder if my turn would ever come. When we had the award function on the 31st of last month, it was a weird moment. It came like a matter of fact event. I did not think about it, I did not even bother too much. I just walked up and collected the award. I have no clue what to do with the trophy, though I very much appreciate the 5gm gold coin given. in the middle a couple of years ago, I got rid of all the trophies that were at my desk. These I had won for corporate football and cricket. I felt the vanity in them especially since I knew that they were for being the best in a hopelessly mediocre segment. It doesn’t take much to defeat fatted unfit bankers and get some awards in the process.
So the 5 year trophy is the only one I have on my table. I guess that trophy might truly be my own. I probably owe that one to myself for keeping the faith and staying on. Hehe.
Since this year the number of awardees were unusually large (our division also completed five years), the five year guys were asked not to give thank you speeches. Though they did circulate a PowerPoint for people to write some special comments that they could show case while giving the awards. I was not going to write any mushy stuff for sure. To one of the questions – which was finally showcased for me – what keeps you here – I wrote two points – I lost my CV and I forgot the rubbish I wrote in; and second point being – I cant explain to anybody else what on earth am I doing at this job. I did not realise that that one would become a hit with the audience and I got some ‘I like’ comments post the function. We are easily amused.
The other brain wave I had was that if we were not going to speak then why not have a camera and record the comments of all the awardees where in they could talk about stuff and they could thank who ever they wanted on camera. Now that was a huge hit (with most of them of course). They came in and spoke to the camera. They were all excited and ready to talk but the poor stage was taken from them. Thank god for my camera. I plan to cut these pieces and put them up for public consumption. I also realised that just because I am a cynical basterd, there is no reason why the world should be one. I was pretty unenthused about the award but all the rest were all charged up and ready to go. Women went shopping the day before. Some guys got new shirts to wear. Many got change of clothes before they set off for the function. One guy got a shave done in the afternoon. Some heroes wore suits. Wow. I guess it does count for something. I don’t what it was. The fact that you are going to receive an award in front of some azar people. The fact that the CEO is going to be present on stage. The fact that you completed five years counts for something. Or it is a being counted emotion. I don’t know. I had none of those. I honestly just liked the five gram of gold. I wonder where is my heart these days? Why do I not feel these emotions. If I thought I had exchanged my heart for a stone with the devil, the fears were quickly unfounded. After the event I asked my man Anil Bose who has been with me for five years what it takes and what he felt. But before he could answer I went into a long speech in front of the camera why I was happy to have him with me. I ended up saying (which is probably true) that I completed five years thank to this man. He has been a great help for me and is responsible for me growing in my current role. In the last five and half years, I have had three direct bosses and a few dotted line reportings. What’s dotted lines? Sighhh… that’s another post. But one thing has remained constant – Anil Bose and his support. We understand each other. Work well with each other and are able to feed off each others strength. In the last five years in front of me he bought a house, got married, got a kid, got the second kid and settled down. Tough going for a boy who lost his parents while he was 17 years old. He managed his life well. He has no other family from his side so as to speak of. For his marriage which was a simple ceremony at his home, I played the role of the groom’s relative who has to hold the sheet between the couple. There was no one else. Every time he has a function, I make it a point to be there. He stays in vasai so does take some going.
I know for him it means a lot for me to come all the way there. He has remarked more than once, that he is happy when we come as he has no other family representation from his side.
The others in the team many times do not understand this. They don’t get it. Many people take their relatives for granted. The fact that they have so many. They fail to see their significance. Family fights have ensured that I am not touch with many of mine. As eth second generation, we have decent regard and love for each other and are more than cordial when we meet. We are even warm. But if the elders don’t exactly get along, there aren’t many instances to deepen ties.
Probably I understand that and I value relations, probably I am going since he is my guy, probably I am just being a kind boss, probably I feel for him, probably I don’t know … I am jut going. But I did feel emotional talking about him and his five years with me.
Hey, I have a heart after all. It beats. It’s warm.
Sunday, April 04, 2010
what else matters?
I just realised that I am horrible at teaching Jispa anything that comes close to school work. I have a deep rooted abhorrence for it. First came Hindi. There I had a natural excuse. I could understand jack of what was going on. As she continues her quest on the Hindi road I am only to recollect my own fears and trauma at having to study Hindi and Marathi and get the dam ‘maatras’ right. Also I never understood why all the vernacular language teachers had to be equal terrors and evil. Just because they got their maatras right why couldn’t they understand that I had no clue which one was where.
Leaving Hindi alone, today Jasmine asked me to take her dictation. I had to open the first chapter in her Oxford English book and give spellings from there. Jispa stopped reading this level at least a year ago. She is far more advanced that what I read. But of course the spellings is another matter altogether. Spellings have been my problem as well. In many ways the spell check in Microsoft word has been specifically designed for dyslexics like me. I am still not sure on how to spell science and hence let the spelling ‘sicence’ pass, till Jasmine heard that and screamed from the kitchen. To get a sample of my spellings go to my first few posts. Then I was typing directly into the text bar of blogspot and getting all my spellings wrong. Quickly I learnt enough to type out the post on word and then transfer the same on to the post, post the corrections.
Add to it that I simply hated studies. So while I started taking her dictations, I added words like ‘at’ ‘a’ ‘ran’ etc. that was just to liven things up. Jasmine gave me a stare and then understood that I was pretty much incorrigible. After the spelling, I had to ask comprehension q’s from the chapter. That was fun. I started asking random trick questions and other funny ones. Jasmine now had had enough. She took the book from me and started asking the proper questions. Jispa was rattling off the answers. I went to jasmine ad whispered in her ears, ‘you are actually testing her comprehension on this chapter. Yesterday she read the Abhimanyu story from the Amar Chitra Katha and she could rattle off the story today morning.’ This was way down the value chain for her. She even managed some other outstanding answers that required her to think of something laterally and assume something or look beyond the story for answers. I was pretty impressed. I am not taking her tuitions for sure.
Yesterday Jispa and I got talking. One aunty was explaining to Jispa how her teacher had funny pronunciations and how they used to laugh when she said m and n and x and y in math class. While Jispa got the joke she wanted to know how the alphabets made it into math class. I thought a bit and figured that she could get a handle on algebra since her ability to take a little leap of imagination was wired in. I tried to explain that many times x is used as a blank or a dash. 1+x = 3, then what is x. she struggled a bit then I reframed it as 1+___ = 3. what plus 1 is three. A ha… x is then equal to two. Then I complicated it a bit to m+n = 2. aha… 1+1. Then further to m+n = 3. aha… m is 1 and n is 2… or I corrected her as m is 2 and n is 1. so m can be 1 or 2 and n can be 1 or 2. That was fun. This was all in the car while waiting for Jasmine. She called us out to break this conversation. I don’t know how much I could have gone on. Possibly negative numbers? Or even larger algebraic sums. Eeks. I love teaching this stuff. Especially if it’s not in the portion. The whole typecast of dad teaching math is fun. I guess it will last till her 8th or 9th standard. Beyond that the sums will confuse the shit out of me. Basically till we get to derivatives I should be fine. Post which… you are on your own Jispa. Have fun. It would be so much fun to learn from her once she majors in some thing. Anything but boring and sadistic accounts. That was the pits. I see no value add in having an accounting conversation with her. Once I even tried explaining a periodic table with her. That too was a load of fun.
I don’t know how much she gathers and retains but the moment is fun, for me and for her. We enjoy it a lot. What else matters?
Leaving Hindi alone, today Jasmine asked me to take her dictation. I had to open the first chapter in her Oxford English book and give spellings from there. Jispa stopped reading this level at least a year ago. She is far more advanced that what I read. But of course the spellings is another matter altogether. Spellings have been my problem as well. In many ways the spell check in Microsoft word has been specifically designed for dyslexics like me. I am still not sure on how to spell science and hence let the spelling ‘sicence’ pass, till Jasmine heard that and screamed from the kitchen. To get a sample of my spellings go to my first few posts. Then I was typing directly into the text bar of blogspot and getting all my spellings wrong. Quickly I learnt enough to type out the post on word and then transfer the same on to the post, post the corrections.
Add to it that I simply hated studies. So while I started taking her dictations, I added words like ‘at’ ‘a’ ‘ran’ etc. that was just to liven things up. Jasmine gave me a stare and then understood that I was pretty much incorrigible. After the spelling, I had to ask comprehension q’s from the chapter. That was fun. I started asking random trick questions and other funny ones. Jasmine now had had enough. She took the book from me and started asking the proper questions. Jispa was rattling off the answers. I went to jasmine ad whispered in her ears, ‘you are actually testing her comprehension on this chapter. Yesterday she read the Abhimanyu story from the Amar Chitra Katha and she could rattle off the story today morning.’ This was way down the value chain for her. She even managed some other outstanding answers that required her to think of something laterally and assume something or look beyond the story for answers. I was pretty impressed. I am not taking her tuitions for sure.
Yesterday Jispa and I got talking. One aunty was explaining to Jispa how her teacher had funny pronunciations and how they used to laugh when she said m and n and x and y in math class. While Jispa got the joke she wanted to know how the alphabets made it into math class. I thought a bit and figured that she could get a handle on algebra since her ability to take a little leap of imagination was wired in. I tried to explain that many times x is used as a blank or a dash. 1+x = 3, then what is x. she struggled a bit then I reframed it as 1+___ = 3. what plus 1 is three. A ha… x is then equal to two. Then I complicated it a bit to m+n = 2. aha… 1+1. Then further to m+n = 3. aha… m is 1 and n is 2… or I corrected her as m is 2 and n is 1. so m can be 1 or 2 and n can be 1 or 2. That was fun. This was all in the car while waiting for Jasmine. She called us out to break this conversation. I don’t know how much I could have gone on. Possibly negative numbers? Or even larger algebraic sums. Eeks. I love teaching this stuff. Especially if it’s not in the portion. The whole typecast of dad teaching math is fun. I guess it will last till her 8th or 9th standard. Beyond that the sums will confuse the shit out of me. Basically till we get to derivatives I should be fine. Post which… you are on your own Jispa. Have fun. It would be so much fun to learn from her once she majors in some thing. Anything but boring and sadistic accounts. That was the pits. I see no value add in having an accounting conversation with her. Once I even tried explaining a periodic table with her. That too was a load of fun.
I don’t know how much she gathers and retains but the moment is fun, for me and for her. We enjoy it a lot. What else matters?
Friday, April 02, 2010
back to the basics
Jispa has been learning to swim through proper coaching. It is surely a good thing to get the technique right. I have been a largely self taught swimmer. While I used to swim in Dubai where I stayed till the third standard, I forgot how to swim by the time I grew up. The old phrase that you cannot really forget how to swim your whole life is probably correct but that is only if you know how to swim correctly in the first place. I used to do all weird variations of swimming and mine was called underwater. I guess I never did properly learn the free style. It is only now that I am managing to improve my strokes. I learnt it again when V-inu and me used to go to Shivaji park and look at the coaching being done and then try and copy.
So I am pretty happy that she is learning the techniques and the different strokes as well. Yesterday she had a swim meet in school. The first and second standards swim together in competition. Last year she hadn’t learn enough to swim the length of the pool for her to take part. This year she suddenly burst into scene to get eth silver for the freestyle and the bronze for back stroke. She is still yet to learn the butterfly and breaststroke. She was two seconds behind the gold in freestyle and the gold was won by a champion swimmer. When I saw her I really thought – wow, she is fast. Whenever we go to the pool together she never swims with me properly. We are busy trying to enjoy ourselves. I keep throwing her in the water, she refuses to swim fast and the complete length etc etc. it was quite a revelation watching her.
In the backstroke she swam well to start off amongst the fastest and the n suddenly half way through the race she slowed considerably. She was tired, I could see. She then came a close third. The reason I thought that happened was nutrition. She had dosas for breakfast. A ha… I have learnt the value of nutrition science the hard way. I was ended up explaining the low GI and high GI funda to jasmine and the value of have high fibre for breakfast and then continuous calorie intake. Especially for sports activity.
This I guess is a he change from my growing up when no matter what the breakfast at home would be a gulp of a glass of milk. It would do for any requirement. We have not learnt nutrition at all in the scheme of things. I hope at least I can try and figure this out. Jasmine also needs some distance to go on this. Especially Jispa. Jasmine exasperations have been primarily on her inability to get Jispa to eat regularly. I will have to sit with Jispa and explain to her the value and the importance of eating and eating right. After she finished her back stroke I asked her if she got tired in middle. She agreed as much. I told her that her breakfast was wrong. She was quick to blame Mummy but she the she conveniently forgot to eat her snack that mommy had sent. Jasmine tries to send her decent snack and avoid junk in the dabba, but Jispa effectively foils her noble intention.
Many times I have been able to get through Jispa’s dogged refusal to understand by using the right words and talk. This time as well the task is on me to talk to her about food. I will have to do it and keep reinforcing the same. It always helps when she has had an experience that she can relate to and remember.
So far I have stayed away from trying to coach her and trying to get into motivation, push, egg, etc. you learn you try and see if you can do your best. There is also nothing that I think I can add at this stage. I am not an expert on all this. I am also not the one screaming and shouting at the kids a la other mothers. SWIM FAST SWIM FAST is not for me. See the game, try and analyse it. See how the champions do it, learn a bit. Ask the right questions. It will make an impact. Every sport has a technical side to it which must be mastered. You focus on the basics and you will get there. And once in the pool or arena for that matter, it’s you and the sport. No mama no papa no crowd no home support. What you have learnt and what you apply will count. Post that what new experiences you have encountered and what you have you have learnt from it will count. It’s really that simple really.
In the evening a friend remarked that you father and daughter must be having a cupboard full of medals. Ha ha. I said that when I was small, I was not the fastest swimmer, not the fastest runner, not the first in class, nothing. I won practically nothing. She has already far over achieved if I was the bench mark.
I think what helps for sure is the way we place importance on physical activity and having fun. I am sure she appreciated the fact that I came for the meet. I was not sure of going but I am glad I did. I could spot something; some change that I think might help her. As the bible on parenting said something like – your presence is an indicator of the importance you place on an activity and your child definitely takes cues from that.
So I am pretty happy that she is learning the techniques and the different strokes as well. Yesterday she had a swim meet in school. The first and second standards swim together in competition. Last year she hadn’t learn enough to swim the length of the pool for her to take part. This year she suddenly burst into scene to get eth silver for the freestyle and the bronze for back stroke. She is still yet to learn the butterfly and breaststroke. She was two seconds behind the gold in freestyle and the gold was won by a champion swimmer. When I saw her I really thought – wow, she is fast. Whenever we go to the pool together she never swims with me properly. We are busy trying to enjoy ourselves. I keep throwing her in the water, she refuses to swim fast and the complete length etc etc. it was quite a revelation watching her.
In the backstroke she swam well to start off amongst the fastest and the n suddenly half way through the race she slowed considerably. She was tired, I could see. She then came a close third. The reason I thought that happened was nutrition. She had dosas for breakfast. A ha… I have learnt the value of nutrition science the hard way. I was ended up explaining the low GI and high GI funda to jasmine and the value of have high fibre for breakfast and then continuous calorie intake. Especially for sports activity.
This I guess is a he change from my growing up when no matter what the breakfast at home would be a gulp of a glass of milk. It would do for any requirement. We have not learnt nutrition at all in the scheme of things. I hope at least I can try and figure this out. Jasmine also needs some distance to go on this. Especially Jispa. Jasmine exasperations have been primarily on her inability to get Jispa to eat regularly. I will have to sit with Jispa and explain to her the value and the importance of eating and eating right. After she finished her back stroke I asked her if she got tired in middle. She agreed as much. I told her that her breakfast was wrong. She was quick to blame Mummy but she the she conveniently forgot to eat her snack that mommy had sent. Jasmine tries to send her decent snack and avoid junk in the dabba, but Jispa effectively foils her noble intention.
Many times I have been able to get through Jispa’s dogged refusal to understand by using the right words and talk. This time as well the task is on me to talk to her about food. I will have to do it and keep reinforcing the same. It always helps when she has had an experience that she can relate to and remember.
So far I have stayed away from trying to coach her and trying to get into motivation, push, egg, etc. you learn you try and see if you can do your best. There is also nothing that I think I can add at this stage. I am not an expert on all this. I am also not the one screaming and shouting at the kids a la other mothers. SWIM FAST SWIM FAST is not for me. See the game, try and analyse it. See how the champions do it, learn a bit. Ask the right questions. It will make an impact. Every sport has a technical side to it which must be mastered. You focus on the basics and you will get there. And once in the pool or arena for that matter, it’s you and the sport. No mama no papa no crowd no home support. What you have learnt and what you apply will count. Post that what new experiences you have encountered and what you have you have learnt from it will count. It’s really that simple really.
In the evening a friend remarked that you father and daughter must be having a cupboard full of medals. Ha ha. I said that when I was small, I was not the fastest swimmer, not the fastest runner, not the first in class, nothing. I won practically nothing. She has already far over achieved if I was the bench mark.
I think what helps for sure is the way we place importance on physical activity and having fun. I am sure she appreciated the fact that I came for the meet. I was not sure of going but I am glad I did. I could spot something; some change that I think might help her. As the bible on parenting said something like – your presence is an indicator of the importance you place on an activity and your child definitely takes cues from that.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
view on views
I came across an interesting article today. One of my key take away will be this chart that maps your leanings with your age. It seems pretty logical to me.
Here is an extract of the article
"Both socially and economically, teenagers prefer an anything-goes type situation.
But as these teenagers grow up a bit and enter the job market, they quickly develop progressive economic ideas: perhaps a bit of "levelling" seems pretty good when you're staring up the professional ladder from the bottom rung. Meanwhile, their youthful live-and-let-live social philosophy begins to fade.
In their late 20s, they start making real money. Economic progressivism goes out the window, preferably out the window of a building with a doorman. As the adult mind turns to more material matters, social views don't change that much.
Finally, after the mid-40s, retirement looms. Our former teenagers check their collective 401(k)s and think, you know what, let's all get checks from the government. Social views take a hard turn for the more restrictive. At the end of the journey, economic and social views are again in agreement—only this time on the other side of the philosophical line!"
This is the reason why we tend to get into fights with different age groups. Typically these are ideological fights. I pray that if I get older and if my beliefs change, I should learn to respect the beliefs of those younger and understand why they think their way and why I might be thinking my way. It’s important. If you understand the genesis of thought conflict may not be needed to be solved.
Here is an extract of the article
"Both socially and economically, teenagers prefer an anything-goes type situation.
But as these teenagers grow up a bit and enter the job market, they quickly develop progressive economic ideas: perhaps a bit of "levelling" seems pretty good when you're staring up the professional ladder from the bottom rung. Meanwhile, their youthful live-and-let-live social philosophy begins to fade.
In their late 20s, they start making real money. Economic progressivism goes out the window, preferably out the window of a building with a doorman. As the adult mind turns to more material matters, social views don't change that much.
Finally, after the mid-40s, retirement looms. Our former teenagers check their collective 401(k)s and think, you know what, let's all get checks from the government. Social views take a hard turn for the more restrictive. At the end of the journey, economic and social views are again in agreement—only this time on the other side of the philosophical line!"
This is the reason why we tend to get into fights with different age groups. Typically these are ideological fights. I pray that if I get older and if my beliefs change, I should learn to respect the beliefs of those younger and understand why they think their way and why I might be thinking my way. It’s important. If you understand the genesis of thought conflict may not be needed to be solved.
how late can you go
Sindhis. How on earth do they run their ship? I am up to here (pointing to my nose) with their marriage functions. Yesterday I was invited to attend a Sindhi reception. The lady was a summer intern who reported into me and then I went on to teach her batch for the subject of sales. The invite said 8pm and I knew it’s a Sindhi thing so I asked her what time should I really make it. She said 9pm for sure. The food will be out and you can eat by then as well. Ok. I reached at 9pm. No food no bride only a handful of guests. 915… no sign…930 no sign… I am busy trying to call some friends in an attempt to kill time. 945 still talking to some friends, getting really low scores on the game on my cell phone. Finally at 10 pm I call up one sindhi friend of mine and blasted him instead, “You sindhis this and you sindhis that”. He was laughing “if you had only asked me before going. 10.30 the couple will come and the reception will last till two in the morning.”
Finally the couple came in at 10.15 pm and I hastily got into queue and congratulated the couple before running away.
But actually at they heart of all this, I am to blame. I studied in a sindhi college and I have a large number of sindhi friends. None of their functions ever start on time. One hour after the stated starting time must you get up and begun to get ready. Post which you will leave home for venue. This formula would work irrespective of how far you stay from the venue.
One Sindhi friend applied this rule to my marriage function and he managed to just about catch us while we sat for dinner after all the formalities were over. That way I love the gujju marriages and gujju banquet halls where we hold our marriages. People come on time and tardiness is frowned upon. The halls have cut off times which are strictly enforced. They have a first bell, then a second bell followed by a lights off policy. I have rarely seen these extend beyond 10 pm. Imagine a Sindhi wedding held by chance at a gujju hall. The couple will enter to a hall of darkness.
Finally the couple came in at 10.15 pm and I hastily got into queue and congratulated the couple before running away.
But actually at they heart of all this, I am to blame. I studied in a sindhi college and I have a large number of sindhi friends. None of their functions ever start on time. One hour after the stated starting time must you get up and begun to get ready. Post which you will leave home for venue. This formula would work irrespective of how far you stay from the venue.
One Sindhi friend applied this rule to my marriage function and he managed to just about catch us while we sat for dinner after all the formalities were over. That way I love the gujju marriages and gujju banquet halls where we hold our marriages. People come on time and tardiness is frowned upon. The halls have cut off times which are strictly enforced. They have a first bell, then a second bell followed by a lights off policy. I have rarely seen these extend beyond 10 pm. Imagine a Sindhi wedding held by chance at a gujju hall. The couple will enter to a hall of darkness.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
a fine balance
Jispa is now facing the end of her honeymoon period. She has had a lovely time so far in school. School has been all about fun, colour, stories, enjoyment and merry making. Slowly it is getting into the business of teaching… hard and cold stuff.
This week she moved into second standard. Second standard is no easy frilly stuff. It has the making of a transition into “mini responsible studenthood”. She was telling me that here in the class she has no time now. Teacher is always telling or making us do something. She is everyday making us write stuff in the diary. She dictates and we have to write. She does not wait for us. Earlier the class teacher used to wait for everyone to finish and there was some time afterwards. Now she starts teaching us something or making us write something or something or the other.
She is seeing the cultural change. I guess the school is managing this pretty cool. Reviews, writing, languages etc. the change has been gradual but sure footed I guess. She so far had a whale of a time and loved school. The challenge will be to continue this and transition this well. Everyone asked me about her school and how cool was it. I used to always say that Jispa was enjoying it and how. But I always qualify the statement by saying, its only primary yet. The test will come afterwards.
I don’t know how I am going to react to all this. I am not too keen on making her study too hard. I don’t want to push her but I don’t want her to be wanting because I did not push her enough. Parents need to push but they also need to know how much and more importantly when to stop.
Everyday in the morning I see the kids closing their swimming class and getting ready for school. They get fed, or some are being taught or revisions are in progress and some are just rushing. Today seemed to be some relaxed day. I came in and I saw them pleading with the coach. The coach nodded and then all of them rushed into the kiddy pool and started throwing some socks around as if it was a ball. The champion swimmers frolicking in the kiddy pool. The attendant was then protesting ‘come out of there, come out’. I spoke to her. “Let them be. They are kids. Every day we train them like crazy. We forget that they are also kids. They also need to have fun.” She protested that according to the management only kids less than three years old are allowed in there. I left a parting remark saying ‘let them be’. I remembered my take away from Gandhi – if you think the rule is dumb and unfair then it is your duty to break it.
This week she moved into second standard. Second standard is no easy frilly stuff. It has the making of a transition into “mini responsible studenthood”. She was telling me that here in the class she has no time now. Teacher is always telling or making us do something. She is everyday making us write stuff in the diary. She dictates and we have to write. She does not wait for us. Earlier the class teacher used to wait for everyone to finish and there was some time afterwards. Now she starts teaching us something or making us write something or something or the other.
She is seeing the cultural change. I guess the school is managing this pretty cool. Reviews, writing, languages etc. the change has been gradual but sure footed I guess. She so far had a whale of a time and loved school. The challenge will be to continue this and transition this well. Everyone asked me about her school and how cool was it. I used to always say that Jispa was enjoying it and how. But I always qualify the statement by saying, its only primary yet. The test will come afterwards.
I don’t know how I am going to react to all this. I am not too keen on making her study too hard. I don’t want to push her but I don’t want her to be wanting because I did not push her enough. Parents need to push but they also need to know how much and more importantly when to stop.
Everyday in the morning I see the kids closing their swimming class and getting ready for school. They get fed, or some are being taught or revisions are in progress and some are just rushing. Today seemed to be some relaxed day. I came in and I saw them pleading with the coach. The coach nodded and then all of them rushed into the kiddy pool and started throwing some socks around as if it was a ball. The champion swimmers frolicking in the kiddy pool. The attendant was then protesting ‘come out of there, come out’. I spoke to her. “Let them be. They are kids. Every day we train them like crazy. We forget that they are also kids. They also need to have fun.” She protested that according to the management only kids less than three years old are allowed in there. I left a parting remark saying ‘let them be’. I remembered my take away from Gandhi – if you think the rule is dumb and unfair then it is your duty to break it.
Monday, March 29, 2010
keep runnning
I lived in Dubai till I was in the third standard. One of the fun things we had was going on picnics with friends and family in tow. Large numbers all deciding to get together running to some part of Dubai. Sometimes we hit the dunes and sometimes we hit some hidden oasis. I still have fond memories of them. I reckon that the memories are today etched deeper thanks to all the photographs. Though I still retain some vivid recollections which are not picture led.
One of the favourite picnic places was a place called Safa Park. This was a large garden as I remember. We used to go and play games, cricket and other stuff. It was fun to play with everybody, adults and children alike. We used to look forward to these picnics.
On Saturday we took some kids for to the park behind my building. This is supremely well maintained park with plenty of lawns and one particularly large one. We made the kids play and they really enjoyed. That set me thinking. Why not do it in proper style. So I planned a proper outing. Back in the same place, but his time with a tent and enough Tang and sandwiches. O got poor jasmine enlisted and gathered the kids. All the kids have tents these days. The lovely ones that jus need opening to be set up. One mother also joined in. one sent her maid and one set of parents came along. Perfect to play chain chain, tis kit and tasket, four corners, lock and key etc. The kids enjoyed it and I enjoyed it as well.
I think it was important that the few mother who came, did. The kids got to play outdoors with the mommies and they had a whale of a time. It’s very important to play with your children and not merely take them for a game. One of the boys wanted to play Frisbee and I loved to teach him as well. After he got better at it he screamed out to his dad to see him. It was important that his dad know / appreciate his new found skill.
That way I always wondered how parents are ever willing to throw their kids into vacation camps etc. it doesn’t really take too much to get the kids and a few friends together and throw them in a park with just a little guidance on new games to play.
One of friends in school was a guy called Vijay Venkatesh. I remember his dad used to make all the children play games after schools. I loved playing with them. This memory would be around 25 years old I guess. But it’s stayed with me.
But I didn’t think of all this when I planned this outing. I just wanted to have fun with the kids. It keeps me happy, active and gets me some quality time with the kids. It’s fun to observe them and see them compete. It’s also making Jispa an active kid. She runs the most, runs the fastest and her legs hurt the least.
I think these options have emerged because of the fact that we don’t have a TV at home; else I would have watched movies and worse still cricket. With IPL beaming a large number of matches so many people stay glued in front of the action rather than being a part of it. Unacceptable.
One of the favourite picnic places was a place called Safa Park. This was a large garden as I remember. We used to go and play games, cricket and other stuff. It was fun to play with everybody, adults and children alike. We used to look forward to these picnics.
On Saturday we took some kids for to the park behind my building. This is supremely well maintained park with plenty of lawns and one particularly large one. We made the kids play and they really enjoyed. That set me thinking. Why not do it in proper style. So I planned a proper outing. Back in the same place, but his time with a tent and enough Tang and sandwiches. O got poor jasmine enlisted and gathered the kids. All the kids have tents these days. The lovely ones that jus need opening to be set up. One mother also joined in. one sent her maid and one set of parents came along. Perfect to play chain chain, tis kit and tasket, four corners, lock and key etc. The kids enjoyed it and I enjoyed it as well.
I think it was important that the few mother who came, did. The kids got to play outdoors with the mommies and they had a whale of a time. It’s very important to play with your children and not merely take them for a game. One of the boys wanted to play Frisbee and I loved to teach him as well. After he got better at it he screamed out to his dad to see him. It was important that his dad know / appreciate his new found skill.
That way I always wondered how parents are ever willing to throw their kids into vacation camps etc. it doesn’t really take too much to get the kids and a few friends together and throw them in a park with just a little guidance on new games to play.
One of friends in school was a guy called Vijay Venkatesh. I remember his dad used to make all the children play games after schools. I loved playing with them. This memory would be around 25 years old I guess. But it’s stayed with me.
But I didn’t think of all this when I planned this outing. I just wanted to have fun with the kids. It keeps me happy, active and gets me some quality time with the kids. It’s fun to observe them and see them compete. It’s also making Jispa an active kid. She runs the most, runs the fastest and her legs hurt the least.
I think these options have emerged because of the fact that we don’t have a TV at home; else I would have watched movies and worse still cricket. With IPL beaming a large number of matches so many people stay glued in front of the action rather than being a part of it. Unacceptable.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
you have no right to shoot anyone
I have had quite a liberal opinion on having cameras installed everywhere. I mean if you are doing nothing wrong what’s the harm in having a camera around. My best learning on this was when I was briefly working at Star TV. They had two offices one at Mahalaxmi and the other at Andheri east. The Mahalaxmi one was a virtual fortress with cameras installed, while the Andheri one was a bit more relaxed and no cameras. I routinely heard of mobiles and other stuff (props/ merchandise etc) being flicked from the tables at Andheri office and absolutely nothing being lost or stolen in the other office.
I was convinced. Same organisation, same set of people moving between offices. The deterrents were the CC TV cameras. And when the cameras got installed in my current office I was the guy wondering what the hue and cry is about. It’s a good thing. I have nothing to hide and more so, who on earth has the time to look at it. No one is actually sitting and recoding whether I am actually working or not. It’s not like that data is going to decide my salary and bonus.
Yesterday I saw the movie LSD, love sex and dhoka. Dipankar the director seems to be the guy who has a complete grip on the Delhi stereo type. He perfectly hit them in his movies, well at least he has hit the Mumbai interpretation of the sleazy Delhi stereotype. I always hated Delhi and I always hated its people. Delhi is a place you need to go to in order to reach Uttaranchal. It is a necessary evil. But that is beside the point. The movie got me so uncomfortable that I wanted to walk out from it. he managed to make me believe in the characters and I hated to see anything bad happen to them. The first two stories for sure. The tension of the two lovers who eloped without their parents wishes really got to me. Jasmine and I were going around for around 4 years without her parents knowing. I wasn’t so stressed about my parents knowing. They eventually knew and I assumed no opposition. But Jasmine’s parents were another thing. Her dad was conservative enough not to let her wear pants and her eldest brother was a pain enough (now completely sweet) to cause stress. We lived in the mortal fear of being found out all the time. Some a-hole cousins of hers did not actually help as well. Roaming around was a distress. How to express love and be discreet at the same time. Aren’t youngsters in love oblivious to all around? And at the same time be on guard against possible snoops?
Watching the movie made me squirm and feel really depressed. It triggered all the fears I lived as a teenager in love. This is the first film I actually felt that fear. All other movies one does not really care too much.
The second and most poignant story was about a guy using the store cameras to keep a watch on women and about how it can be used to capture private moments without permission. That one has really set me thinking about CC TVs. CC TV is probably good as a deterrent but who on earth owns these images. If you are shooting without my permission then are you allowed to use them elsewhere or anywhere or against me or anything, without my permission? What the laws safeguarding these. More pertinent, what eth rules that control access and use of this. As a company, you have put the dam thing in place and are recording everything. What is the policy on who gets access to these recordings? How do you monitor them, how do you store them and how do you destroy them? Forget the corporate. What about the stores. They would be even more lax about their policies and checks and balances. What about the city and the public places. I can’t trust the government to ensure privacy of my licence details, how do I trust them with digital images. Police stations are places I don’t want to go, leave aside my family. I would much rather avoid the place. Will I trust them with what I perceive my digital rights? All this in the face of the plan to wire eth city with cameras, a la London.
With cameras getting smaller and powerful, it is given that people will use them misuse them. But it is vary painful to see it uncontrolled. Seeing my camera some colleagues caught onto photography and I got them digital cameras with 12X zoom which is pretty powerful. He had gone abroad and while he was showing his photos, one photo made me cringe. He had taken a photo of a lady in T shirt that showed her cleavage. I was so repulsed. How dare you click someone without their permission and that too with your ugly intentions? He is good educated guy and a genuinely nice guy otherwise. He saw no wrong in taking the photo and no wrong in showing it to us. I cringed and blamed my self for teaching him photography.
If this is the state of normal nice people, how do trust the broad junta? This will increasingly be a part of our lives and will come up discussion sooner or later. The problem will happen when the right wings will put the fear of terror in our heads to install it and the left will simply seek to ban it. Neither will make sense. But I guess the answer will come when we realise that digital power is a great power and as spidey realised – with great power comes great responsibility. We must enact strong laws and procedures that stops misuse and puts checks and balances in place.
We must realise that merely putting in cameras might stop pilferage but will also put your customers at risk. Customers must vote with their feet if they find retailers with cameras and no strong policies in place regarding their use.
I could go on and on. I feel so strongly. Rarely has a film come that made me shape my opinion so strongly. The second story had believable characters. The male actor is a believable guy with grey all over. A perfect example of a guy who is not sure of his moral standing and is pushed over by external forces. Its very real. I have seen guys like that as well his friend who pushes him over. Guys who are so perverted that they mentally undress a women the moment they see her. These are real ------ (I can’t think of a strong enough word), who have only one conversation and one agenda on their mind. Many times all it requires is just a tip. Most are so delicately balanced. All of us have these fine lines which we balance all the time. It does not really matter most of the time as the person affected is mostly ourselves but what happens in cases where someone else is at stake and the lure so powerful. I really felt for the female lead. Rashmi. My heart reached out to her. She is the symbol of all the porn clip victims that people have circulated in fulfilling their voyeuristic pleasures. Suddenly I feel sad at the clips that my friends showed me. I am not against porn, but Rashmi made me see the distinction between porn and peep. I can’t get that girl off my mind since yesterday. I don’t think I will forget her too soon.
The third story is an interesting (but not so touching) take on stng operations. I was watching TV at my mom in laws place and some TV channel was doing a n expose on some sadhu. I am not a fan of either TV news or the sadhus. My BIL was watching and commenting on the sad state of affairs with the sadhu in question. I merely asked, how can you be so sure that the channel is telling the truth and it has not planted this all. How on earth can they get the right to go inside the case which is under investigation of the police? Why should you believe them? How is all this allowed and fair game? He had no answer. Sting operations along with broadcasting ability – absolute power. Where is the responsibility?
When I came out of the movie, I told Jasmine – what a depressing movie. That was a compliment.
PS: this movie is produced by the house that is known for introducing the saas bahu tele-serials which are so painfully regressive. Comes as a refreshing twist. Ekta Kappor almost redeemed herself. Almost.
I was convinced. Same organisation, same set of people moving between offices. The deterrents were the CC TV cameras. And when the cameras got installed in my current office I was the guy wondering what the hue and cry is about. It’s a good thing. I have nothing to hide and more so, who on earth has the time to look at it. No one is actually sitting and recoding whether I am actually working or not. It’s not like that data is going to decide my salary and bonus.
Yesterday I saw the movie LSD, love sex and dhoka. Dipankar the director seems to be the guy who has a complete grip on the Delhi stereo type. He perfectly hit them in his movies, well at least he has hit the Mumbai interpretation of the sleazy Delhi stereotype. I always hated Delhi and I always hated its people. Delhi is a place you need to go to in order to reach Uttaranchal. It is a necessary evil. But that is beside the point. The movie got me so uncomfortable that I wanted to walk out from it. he managed to make me believe in the characters and I hated to see anything bad happen to them. The first two stories for sure. The tension of the two lovers who eloped without their parents wishes really got to me. Jasmine and I were going around for around 4 years without her parents knowing. I wasn’t so stressed about my parents knowing. They eventually knew and I assumed no opposition. But Jasmine’s parents were another thing. Her dad was conservative enough not to let her wear pants and her eldest brother was a pain enough (now completely sweet) to cause stress. We lived in the mortal fear of being found out all the time. Some a-hole cousins of hers did not actually help as well. Roaming around was a distress. How to express love and be discreet at the same time. Aren’t youngsters in love oblivious to all around? And at the same time be on guard against possible snoops?
Watching the movie made me squirm and feel really depressed. It triggered all the fears I lived as a teenager in love. This is the first film I actually felt that fear. All other movies one does not really care too much.
The second and most poignant story was about a guy using the store cameras to keep a watch on women and about how it can be used to capture private moments without permission. That one has really set me thinking about CC TVs. CC TV is probably good as a deterrent but who on earth owns these images. If you are shooting without my permission then are you allowed to use them elsewhere or anywhere or against me or anything, without my permission? What the laws safeguarding these. More pertinent, what eth rules that control access and use of this. As a company, you have put the dam thing in place and are recording everything. What is the policy on who gets access to these recordings? How do you monitor them, how do you store them and how do you destroy them? Forget the corporate. What about the stores. They would be even more lax about their policies and checks and balances. What about the city and the public places. I can’t trust the government to ensure privacy of my licence details, how do I trust them with digital images. Police stations are places I don’t want to go, leave aside my family. I would much rather avoid the place. Will I trust them with what I perceive my digital rights? All this in the face of the plan to wire eth city with cameras, a la London.
With cameras getting smaller and powerful, it is given that people will use them misuse them. But it is vary painful to see it uncontrolled. Seeing my camera some colleagues caught onto photography and I got them digital cameras with 12X zoom which is pretty powerful. He had gone abroad and while he was showing his photos, one photo made me cringe. He had taken a photo of a lady in T shirt that showed her cleavage. I was so repulsed. How dare you click someone without their permission and that too with your ugly intentions? He is good educated guy and a genuinely nice guy otherwise. He saw no wrong in taking the photo and no wrong in showing it to us. I cringed and blamed my self for teaching him photography.
If this is the state of normal nice people, how do trust the broad junta? This will increasingly be a part of our lives and will come up discussion sooner or later. The problem will happen when the right wings will put the fear of terror in our heads to install it and the left will simply seek to ban it. Neither will make sense. But I guess the answer will come when we realise that digital power is a great power and as spidey realised – with great power comes great responsibility. We must enact strong laws and procedures that stops misuse and puts checks and balances in place.
We must realise that merely putting in cameras might stop pilferage but will also put your customers at risk. Customers must vote with their feet if they find retailers with cameras and no strong policies in place regarding their use.
I could go on and on. I feel so strongly. Rarely has a film come that made me shape my opinion so strongly. The second story had believable characters. The male actor is a believable guy with grey all over. A perfect example of a guy who is not sure of his moral standing and is pushed over by external forces. Its very real. I have seen guys like that as well his friend who pushes him over. Guys who are so perverted that they mentally undress a women the moment they see her. These are real ------ (I can’t think of a strong enough word), who have only one conversation and one agenda on their mind. Many times all it requires is just a tip. Most are so delicately balanced. All of us have these fine lines which we balance all the time. It does not really matter most of the time as the person affected is mostly ourselves but what happens in cases where someone else is at stake and the lure so powerful. I really felt for the female lead. Rashmi. My heart reached out to her. She is the symbol of all the porn clip victims that people have circulated in fulfilling their voyeuristic pleasures. Suddenly I feel sad at the clips that my friends showed me. I am not against porn, but Rashmi made me see the distinction between porn and peep. I can’t get that girl off my mind since yesterday. I don’t think I will forget her too soon.
The third story is an interesting (but not so touching) take on stng operations. I was watching TV at my mom in laws place and some TV channel was doing a n expose on some sadhu. I am not a fan of either TV news or the sadhus. My BIL was watching and commenting on the sad state of affairs with the sadhu in question. I merely asked, how can you be so sure that the channel is telling the truth and it has not planted this all. How on earth can they get the right to go inside the case which is under investigation of the police? Why should you believe them? How is all this allowed and fair game? He had no answer. Sting operations along with broadcasting ability – absolute power. Where is the responsibility?
When I came out of the movie, I told Jasmine – what a depressing movie. That was a compliment.
PS: this movie is produced by the house that is known for introducing the saas bahu tele-serials which are so painfully regressive. Comes as a refreshing twist. Ekta Kappor almost redeemed herself. Almost.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
get in the blanket. quick
Jispa likes to come into our bed and sleep. At the heart of it I kind of love it but the problem is that the bed isn’t that big and surely isn’t big enough for the three of us. And it especially shrinks in size when she decides to twist and turn. She normally gets these fits of coming in every night after a vacation when she gets used to sleeping with us in the same room.
She always comes to me in the middle of the night with some excuse or the other. The standard papa response is, come in, sleep here. I am normally too zoned out to think too much and I don’t want to spoil my sleep. The sleep next to me prescription works in an amazing wide variety of conditions including the good old stomach ache and the plain I not getting sleep syndrome.
Now in the morning I try and ask her why did she actually come to me in the night? Today morning she told me that she just came to tell me that she wasn’t getting sleep and I simply put her to sleep next to me. It’s not her fault. I told her, you rascal. You knew that I would put you to sleep here and that’s why you came. Else why would you suddenly get sleep next to me and not on your own? That too in the middle of the night! ‘dad, don’t ask me too many questions. I am sleepy’. Ya sure.
But at the same time I have to tell her that some to me in the might but don’t come just to sleep. Come for a genuine reason. But I also know that’s its not possible to make out a genuine reason from another. Not getting sleep is a genuine reason. So ia m not too harsh on her. I speak to her with a smile and make fun of it while talking to her. I have also appealed to her caring self. I have told her that when she comes in at night and sleeps next to me and since the bed isn’t that big, I am squeezed for space and I end up aggravating my back. Well its does happen so I am not lying. That works at times.
Jasmine has a simple solution to all this. Next time when she comes in at night, just let me know. I will go to sleep in Jispa’s bed and papa and baby can sleep peacefully. Something tells me that Jasmine has given up on me. She knows where my heart is. Hehe.
But the problem is less acute in summer. In winter is in and out of the blanket creating a whole mess. At stable and moderate night temperatures she moves less. She also stays nice and snug if the temperature drops a lot or if the AC is on full blast. So these days its not really much of an issue.
A ha… what did I just realize. An opposite of sorts. I want to have her sleeping next to me and I want her to sleep on her own. How are they reconciling. I they are in a manner of speaking in some way. Go figure.
She always comes to me in the middle of the night with some excuse or the other. The standard papa response is, come in, sleep here. I am normally too zoned out to think too much and I don’t want to spoil my sleep. The sleep next to me prescription works in an amazing wide variety of conditions including the good old stomach ache and the plain I not getting sleep syndrome.
Now in the morning I try and ask her why did she actually come to me in the night? Today morning she told me that she just came to tell me that she wasn’t getting sleep and I simply put her to sleep next to me. It’s not her fault. I told her, you rascal. You knew that I would put you to sleep here and that’s why you came. Else why would you suddenly get sleep next to me and not on your own? That too in the middle of the night! ‘dad, don’t ask me too many questions. I am sleepy’. Ya sure.
But at the same time I have to tell her that some to me in the might but don’t come just to sleep. Come for a genuine reason. But I also know that’s its not possible to make out a genuine reason from another. Not getting sleep is a genuine reason. So ia m not too harsh on her. I speak to her with a smile and make fun of it while talking to her. I have also appealed to her caring self. I have told her that when she comes in at night and sleeps next to me and since the bed isn’t that big, I am squeezed for space and I end up aggravating my back. Well its does happen so I am not lying. That works at times.
Jasmine has a simple solution to all this. Next time when she comes in at night, just let me know. I will go to sleep in Jispa’s bed and papa and baby can sleep peacefully. Something tells me that Jasmine has given up on me. She knows where my heart is. Hehe.
But the problem is less acute in summer. In winter is in and out of the blanket creating a whole mess. At stable and moderate night temperatures she moves less. She also stays nice and snug if the temperature drops a lot or if the AC is on full blast. So these days its not really much of an issue.
A ha… what did I just realize. An opposite of sorts. I want to have her sleeping next to me and I want her to sleep on her own. How are they reconciling. I they are in a manner of speaking in some way. Go figure.
whatever you say
Just watched Alice in wonderland yesterday. Its like any standard fairytale yarn. Myth of the hero by Joseph Campbell anyone. Quite a forgetful movie but it has proved one thing… my eyes are not quite suited for 3D viewing. I have this issue for sometime. The thee dimensional movies give me a nasty headache and I can literally feel my eyes throbbing. It sis almost impossible for me to sit through these movies. I am happier with them in simpler 2D.
Since i kept removing the glasses time to time I wasn’t too engrossed watching the movie. I turned to my daughter who was also sitting at the climax sequence without her googles on. I was wondering if her eyes were hurting as well. I asked her why. She said she did like watching that in 3D. It took me a second to register the issue. It was the climax where the diminutive Alice takes on the over sized dragon bird. The picture was scary enough and she did not want the fireballs and the excitement to leap at her outside the frames. Jispa is a sensitive kid and she is slowly learning the fun of scary movies.
We had heard about the movie and had suitably warned her on the same. we told her that it would have gross stuff. She still insisted on watching it. Earlier we used to take her for the movies and she used to get angry at us for taking us to those movies. I remember Die hard 4 being one. Now we warn her well in advance and she chooses to see or not see the movie. She chose not to see Avataar and this one she chose to see. Hence now she doesn’t blame us anymore and takes more responsibility for her actions. When we ask her about a movie she wants to see the ad first before deciding. She gets her cues on the type of movie from the posters and the imagery. Sometimes she asks us what the movie is about and the basic storyline before deciding.
Once decided she can’t be easily swayed otherwise. We let her pick her movies this way. That does not mean she will invariably like a movie she picks but at least jasmine and me don’t get to shoulder a blame for taking her.
With a strong mind like hers we are quite clear on the fights we want to avoid. If rather be with a friend, grand parents or do something else… so be it.
Since i kept removing the glasses time to time I wasn’t too engrossed watching the movie. I turned to my daughter who was also sitting at the climax sequence without her googles on. I was wondering if her eyes were hurting as well. I asked her why. She said she did like watching that in 3D. It took me a second to register the issue. It was the climax where the diminutive Alice takes on the over sized dragon bird. The picture was scary enough and she did not want the fireballs and the excitement to leap at her outside the frames. Jispa is a sensitive kid and she is slowly learning the fun of scary movies.
We had heard about the movie and had suitably warned her on the same. we told her that it would have gross stuff. She still insisted on watching it. Earlier we used to take her for the movies and she used to get angry at us for taking us to those movies. I remember Die hard 4 being one. Now we warn her well in advance and she chooses to see or not see the movie. She chose not to see Avataar and this one she chose to see. Hence now she doesn’t blame us anymore and takes more responsibility for her actions. When we ask her about a movie she wants to see the ad first before deciding. She gets her cues on the type of movie from the posters and the imagery. Sometimes she asks us what the movie is about and the basic storyline before deciding.
Once decided she can’t be easily swayed otherwise. We let her pick her movies this way. That does not mean she will invariably like a movie she picks but at least jasmine and me don’t get to shoulder a blame for taking her.
With a strong mind like hers we are quite clear on the fights we want to avoid. If rather be with a friend, grand parents or do something else… so be it.
Monday, March 22, 2010
get off... you are spoilng my aura
Its march again and the whole bloody stress thing will now play out. Increments, bonus growth etc. People will ask of the company what the company will do for it and the company will ask of the people what they have done for it.
The whole thing is quite a sham and has little logic or proper thought process. The top management will get in a huddle with the science that only they understand. And then you as will be given the letters and will have to show your face to the employee. Till the letters come in you are not even consulted or even in the know as regards anything. It is the state secret that is being discussed. Invariably it hurts more people than it will please. But then that is a function of human nature. Quickly the joy of getting money will disappear into the jealousy experienced when you realise who gets what. And you know what the truth is… I don’t think that the management cares a dam what you really think. And neither does the employee care what the management really think. In the end both end up cursing each other. One feels that the other is not grateful. I can’t understand what the gratitude feeling is all about. You gave your services, they paid what they think is adequate for you. No one did anyone a favour. Where on earth does gratitude come from? I am quite clear about all this. Experience has taught be a lot. I approach this with a sense of equanimity.
That’s what I tell all my kids as well. When the going was good, I told them not to thank me for all the sexy bonuses they were receiving and hence when the going went kaput, I kept the same stand. I don’t give you money or decide your hikes, its them, please face them and talk to them. I have learnt to influence silently from sidelines, and be quite about it. When someone is joining in, I try and fight for salary and quietly make an impact. At the time also I deflect the entire thing to ‘them’. I find it of no use to get any gratitude for salary.
Such is also the case for day to day functioning. If they crib about cash, I only say that I influence office environment, I give you freedom to work, I ensure my team has zero infighting and politics, rest for salary, this is what the company is paying. If you get something better somewhere else. Go. Please put my name on your CV as reference. Sure I address all issues with management but I have no real authority on the same.
This way I work focussed on the job. This way I don’t let issues of money affect my day to day life. I have seen people hanker around for money, play games, time resignations, manage the equations and waste tons of time cribbing away vitiating the atmosphere. I hate money talks and I can’t tolerate too much of cribbing and hypothising about what will happen. It’s a complete waste of time. Do your job and walk. Isn’t someone waiting for you outside office? Leave your worries home. Once you get the letter and the amount over which you have no control over then, you plan your action. Before that thinking about it is such a waste of time.
From around now to the date the letters are given I will have to duck such people and duck such conversations and duck the negativity permeating the floor. It is a big job but to preserve ones sanity, I see no option. Also the best way to turn these guys off is to agree and give some big lecture on why the management is trying their best and why they are right and why one should work for reasons other than money. Slowly they want to talk to you anymore as ‘the other side’ is the last thing they want to hear. Hehehe.
The whole thing is quite a sham and has little logic or proper thought process. The top management will get in a huddle with the science that only they understand. And then you as will be given the letters and will have to show your face to the employee. Till the letters come in you are not even consulted or even in the know as regards anything. It is the state secret that is being discussed. Invariably it hurts more people than it will please. But then that is a function of human nature. Quickly the joy of getting money will disappear into the jealousy experienced when you realise who gets what. And you know what the truth is… I don’t think that the management cares a dam what you really think. And neither does the employee care what the management really think. In the end both end up cursing each other. One feels that the other is not grateful. I can’t understand what the gratitude feeling is all about. You gave your services, they paid what they think is adequate for you. No one did anyone a favour. Where on earth does gratitude come from? I am quite clear about all this. Experience has taught be a lot. I approach this with a sense of equanimity.
That’s what I tell all my kids as well. When the going was good, I told them not to thank me for all the sexy bonuses they were receiving and hence when the going went kaput, I kept the same stand. I don’t give you money or decide your hikes, its them, please face them and talk to them. I have learnt to influence silently from sidelines, and be quite about it. When someone is joining in, I try and fight for salary and quietly make an impact. At the time also I deflect the entire thing to ‘them’. I find it of no use to get any gratitude for salary.
Such is also the case for day to day functioning. If they crib about cash, I only say that I influence office environment, I give you freedom to work, I ensure my team has zero infighting and politics, rest for salary, this is what the company is paying. If you get something better somewhere else. Go. Please put my name on your CV as reference. Sure I address all issues with management but I have no real authority on the same.
This way I work focussed on the job. This way I don’t let issues of money affect my day to day life. I have seen people hanker around for money, play games, time resignations, manage the equations and waste tons of time cribbing away vitiating the atmosphere. I hate money talks and I can’t tolerate too much of cribbing and hypothising about what will happen. It’s a complete waste of time. Do your job and walk. Isn’t someone waiting for you outside office? Leave your worries home. Once you get the letter and the amount over which you have no control over then, you plan your action. Before that thinking about it is such a waste of time.
From around now to the date the letters are given I will have to duck such people and duck such conversations and duck the negativity permeating the floor. It is a big job but to preserve ones sanity, I see no option. Also the best way to turn these guys off is to agree and give some big lecture on why the management is trying their best and why they are right and why one should work for reasons other than money. Slowly they want to talk to you anymore as ‘the other side’ is the last thing they want to hear. Hehehe.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
go goa
Ok, the verdict is out. The glares are awesome. At least they were in the first few days that used them in Goa. Awesomely light and very clear. I used them in the swimming pool, on the beach, on a scooter and in the Arabian Sea. Ya, I was swimming in the sea with them on. Perfect. Very light and very clear and so far no scratches. Vasool.
Goa was a fun outpost. Jispa has become a fine water baby. She wants to hit the swimming pool in the hotel and then refuses to be dragged off the water on the beach. I spent hours and hours with her in the water. And I realized the utility of having sun tan lotion / sun block being liberally applied on your skin. I thought I was dark enough to function without it. Two days of roaming around in shorts (only shorts) and red burnt shoulders later I had learnt my lesson. The last two days were spent applying cold cream indoors and sun block outdoors. That seemed to soothe it, though I ended up almost screaming every time Jasmine or Jispa happened to lean on my broad albeit red shoulders. Hehe.
Now we are pretty much convinced of the power of tripadvisor and lonely planet. It worked for us here as well. The hotel was exactly as we expected – nice simple, sweet with a clean pool. It also helped hitting the right spots to eat and relax. Goa is fun off the crowded areas. On one day we went to south Anjuna to get a lovely clean beach. The eyes needed some adjusting. Nopes, it wasn’t the glare. That my sun glasses took care off, it was the topless women, and blatantly so. I was thought getting topless women at a public beach was an urban legend but this was the real thing. The first instinct was to look at Jispa. She didn’t seem to notice it. Luckily it wasn’t like a nude beach, just a few women topless.
Luckily I have turned out fairly stable about nudity (inspite of a deprived childhood :P) and have been fairly level headed about it. This is my second brush with it. Once many years ago some asset management company had taken us on a cruise. One of the shows was a topless show that I found no point of going to. The second time we had gone again. Another dumb asset management company. This time a set of students who were now working with us were also there. They wanted to go but were a bit shy or trepid. They wanted me to come along. Almost like an adult. Sure, I had no qualms in them seeing it and I have always thought that nudity is so dam overrated. So the show started and soon enough the models were topless. Once it’s off and blatantly so, it ceases to really excite. This was a show which started at I think 1 am or something. Soon ten minutes into the show I was fast asleep. I hate shows of all types. Seeing people dance and sing and perform on stage bore me no end. I hate the award shows as well. Now I am also getting tired of Jispa’s school shows. Once her act is over, I am all ready to sleep. This exciting topless show was no exception. Some of the other guys also slept through. But at least they woke up to know that the experience is much more hyped than it actually is. I always encourage the kids to see it for themselves. For decent stable minds it really really can’t be that much fun.
Ditto for the beach. The only real minor irritant. You try and look away from the sun bathers as you don’t really want anyone thinking you are staring at them even though you might not honestly be staring goggle eyed at them. Whatever! Family man must be a bit careful. Always.
While we are not the gastronomic delight seekers, with the lonely planet recommendations, we realized that if you have time its good fun to roam around (especially when the journey is part of the destination), looking for the recommended places and eating. Never waste vacation time on eating but if you have alight schedule, a bike filled with petrol and all three love going around a bike, any excuse is a good excuse. And if the excuse happens to be in the form of waiting pizza then all the more.
All in all a great time. The scooting around on a Honda scooter, the lazing around on the shallow waters of clear Mandrem beach, eating raw mangoes stolen from a tree, removing my shirt and still feeling overdressed… worth every bit.
Goa was a fun outpost. Jispa has become a fine water baby. She wants to hit the swimming pool in the hotel and then refuses to be dragged off the water on the beach. I spent hours and hours with her in the water. And I realized the utility of having sun tan lotion / sun block being liberally applied on your skin. I thought I was dark enough to function without it. Two days of roaming around in shorts (only shorts) and red burnt shoulders later I had learnt my lesson. The last two days were spent applying cold cream indoors and sun block outdoors. That seemed to soothe it, though I ended up almost screaming every time Jasmine or Jispa happened to lean on my broad albeit red shoulders. Hehe.
Now we are pretty much convinced of the power of tripadvisor and lonely planet. It worked for us here as well. The hotel was exactly as we expected – nice simple, sweet with a clean pool. It also helped hitting the right spots to eat and relax. Goa is fun off the crowded areas. On one day we went to south Anjuna to get a lovely clean beach. The eyes needed some adjusting. Nopes, it wasn’t the glare. That my sun glasses took care off, it was the topless women, and blatantly so. I was thought getting topless women at a public beach was an urban legend but this was the real thing. The first instinct was to look at Jispa. She didn’t seem to notice it. Luckily it wasn’t like a nude beach, just a few women topless.
Luckily I have turned out fairly stable about nudity (inspite of a deprived childhood :P) and have been fairly level headed about it. This is my second brush with it. Once many years ago some asset management company had taken us on a cruise. One of the shows was a topless show that I found no point of going to. The second time we had gone again. Another dumb asset management company. This time a set of students who were now working with us were also there. They wanted to go but were a bit shy or trepid. They wanted me to come along. Almost like an adult. Sure, I had no qualms in them seeing it and I have always thought that nudity is so dam overrated. So the show started and soon enough the models were topless. Once it’s off and blatantly so, it ceases to really excite. This was a show which started at I think 1 am or something. Soon ten minutes into the show I was fast asleep. I hate shows of all types. Seeing people dance and sing and perform on stage bore me no end. I hate the award shows as well. Now I am also getting tired of Jispa’s school shows. Once her act is over, I am all ready to sleep. This exciting topless show was no exception. Some of the other guys also slept through. But at least they woke up to know that the experience is much more hyped than it actually is. I always encourage the kids to see it for themselves. For decent stable minds it really really can’t be that much fun.
Ditto for the beach. The only real minor irritant. You try and look away from the sun bathers as you don’t really want anyone thinking you are staring at them even though you might not honestly be staring goggle eyed at them. Whatever! Family man must be a bit careful. Always.
While we are not the gastronomic delight seekers, with the lonely planet recommendations, we realized that if you have time its good fun to roam around (especially when the journey is part of the destination), looking for the recommended places and eating. Never waste vacation time on eating but if you have alight schedule, a bike filled with petrol and all three love going around a bike, any excuse is a good excuse. And if the excuse happens to be in the form of waiting pizza then all the more.
All in all a great time. The scooting around on a Honda scooter, the lazing around on the shallow waters of clear Mandrem beach, eating raw mangoes stolen from a tree, removing my shirt and still feeling overdressed… worth every bit.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
deep desires
Yesterday I lived one more childhood ambition. Slowly slowly I have been fulfilling some of my childhood dreams. One by one. Not that they have driven me to perform or do something but they seem to be giving me quite satisfaction one by one. Very small things to large things. Like once it was owning a car, or a house or some land in the woods or nice sandals or decent low fork denims etc. So it’s not about money or anything, it’s more about what I might have eyed as a kid or hoped to enjoy while growing up.
One of the things that I had eyed and slowly inched towards getting there is sunglasses. I always wanted nice light sunglasses. First when I started working I tried buying sunglasses of the road. These were for around 200 bucks. They weren’t that great and they probably did my eyes more harm than good. After that I have bought some more glasses and have always stayed at the lower end of the spectrum. At best a fast track one at around a grand or so. But I always felt the need for a good sporty one.
Some time back my wife was shopping for one and I got her to buy a nice Ray bans. At the time I thought they were shit expensive and wow that was a kind of birthday gift for her. Her raved about it for a long time. She loved them. Slowly I came about to eth notion that you really need to pay top dollar to get good glares and the ones I was buying weren’t really good enough. So she convinced me to buy a pair of Ray bans. This was I think about a year ago. Sure enough at 5k it made me think and think and think. But with a bit of prodding from wife I managed to buy them. I genuinely have a problem spending money. Especially for what I perceive as simple brand value (read tag value). What’s so good that I must pay top dollar. Its just a marketing gimmick. That’s partly the reason why I bought my first full price denim from a non sale from a reputed brand a month back. It was a Wrangler. Otherwise I saw no point in them. Especially since I always got mine custom stitched at a hideaway tailor I know. And at 25% of the branded price. I guess I am and always will remain a bit cheap.
So coming back to the ray bans. Yup they got me my first decent glares but they did not fulfil my deep desire to have nice light weight sporty and cool glares. Also they showed me the fun of wearing nice glares. I really love the clarity that my Raybans give me. I am totally in love with the brand. But there is one issue. With a metal frame and glass lens they are a bit heavy and I feel the weight on my nose. So I have been contemplating fulfilling my desire of buying a light weight sporty “expensive” glares.
Yesterday we walked into our trusted neighbourhood store and saw the range on offer. Here you are my latest acquisition – the hep new and happening glares. They are perfect for me. Nice and light and pretty cool on the tech side as well. It’s funny that I did not realise that I was fulfilling my childhood desire of owning one like these until I actually ended up owning them. I like such stuff. they don’t give you stress as you forget that you actually desired them, but when you do get them you realise that a small tick mark is made against your bucket list, as it were. Hah!
According to me they cost a bomb at 7K, and I sure hope that I can find enough reason to justify them. The rationale being that they are better than Oakleys but cheaper and more durable? If you need to read more about them and help me justify the same here is the link
One of the things that I had eyed and slowly inched towards getting there is sunglasses. I always wanted nice light sunglasses. First when I started working I tried buying sunglasses of the road. These were for around 200 bucks. They weren’t that great and they probably did my eyes more harm than good. After that I have bought some more glasses and have always stayed at the lower end of the spectrum. At best a fast track one at around a grand or so. But I always felt the need for a good sporty one.
Some time back my wife was shopping for one and I got her to buy a nice Ray bans. At the time I thought they were shit expensive and wow that was a kind of birthday gift for her. Her raved about it for a long time. She loved them. Slowly I came about to eth notion that you really need to pay top dollar to get good glares and the ones I was buying weren’t really good enough. So she convinced me to buy a pair of Ray bans. This was I think about a year ago. Sure enough at 5k it made me think and think and think. But with a bit of prodding from wife I managed to buy them. I genuinely have a problem spending money. Especially for what I perceive as simple brand value (read tag value). What’s so good that I must pay top dollar. Its just a marketing gimmick. That’s partly the reason why I bought my first full price denim from a non sale from a reputed brand a month back. It was a Wrangler. Otherwise I saw no point in them. Especially since I always got mine custom stitched at a hideaway tailor I know. And at 25% of the branded price. I guess I am and always will remain a bit cheap.
So coming back to the ray bans. Yup they got me my first decent glares but they did not fulfil my deep desire to have nice light weight sporty and cool glares. Also they showed me the fun of wearing nice glares. I really love the clarity that my Raybans give me. I am totally in love with the brand. But there is one issue. With a metal frame and glass lens they are a bit heavy and I feel the weight on my nose. So I have been contemplating fulfilling my desire of buying a light weight sporty “expensive” glares.
Yesterday we walked into our trusted neighbourhood store and saw the range on offer. Here you are my latest acquisition – the hep new and happening glares. They are perfect for me. Nice and light and pretty cool on the tech side as well. It’s funny that I did not realise that I was fulfilling my childhood desire of owning one like these until I actually ended up owning them. I like such stuff. they don’t give you stress as you forget that you actually desired them, but when you do get them you realise that a small tick mark is made against your bucket list, as it were. Hah!
According to me they cost a bomb at 7K, and I sure hope that I can find enough reason to justify them. The rationale being that they are better than Oakleys but cheaper and more durable? If you need to read more about them and help me justify the same here is the link
Monday, March 15, 2010
oh what feeling
Saturday I took my last class for the BMS batch that I was teaching. Next semester onwards it will be a new set of kids. It has been quite a ride of sorts for me. For the two semesters that taught them I only took a small part of their portion but I guess I was able to throw some light on the most important part of marketing – research. This is something that is important for any function. In variably in corporate life you see tons of statistics that people put in their presentations. Not understanding research is a severe limiting factor while understanding these presentations.
One example was I think two years back. The company had commissioned a 360 degree feedback. While my results were being discussed with me, I could point at least 4 to 5 fundamental issues with eth survey that put it at risk to being analysed correctly. Even the consultant had no idea what hit him. I don’t think he had figured about the bias that had crept into the analysis. Very silly.
That’s what I tried teaching these guys. Have an open mind, understand the bias in a survey, understand methodology and listen to the respondent and then make your intelligent analysis. Just because a bias has crept into the survey is no reason why you must throw out the survey. You must merely read the survey while understanding in your mind the bias that could have gotten in. It’s really not that complicated doing research. Just an open mind and commonsense. Also thanks to the subject, I had to go through quite a few intellectual papers and recommend them. Also I realised the lovely effects of giving a paper and then taking a test on it before I start explaining it. most of these are self explanatory papers, with anyone with half a mind can decipher. The trick is in getting these guys to read them. So I merely made a small test on them and explained the papers while discussing the answers. Very useful.
Also this batch seemed to be more important to me as I got back to teaching after a longish break. For some reason I felt a connect with this bunch. Good bunch of guys. So when at the last I closed the class, I was a bit overwhelmed with the emotion and show of love from the class. Hugs and thanks all around.
The joy you feel on successful completion of a course, especially if it’s mentally draining is quite a bit. There was a weird type of joy I felt. I felt pangs of sadness as well. But I surely did revel in the outpouring of love. It was something else. I guess kids are simple things after all. Treat them with love and respect and get the same in return. There is nothing to it.
Here is part of the batch. Its a special one. (though I suspect that I will fell like this with all my batches when I take their last lecture)
The next part of the fun will start now. I will meet them in different places, in malls, in shops, in theatres etc. I will recognise some, some will look familiar and some will go SSSIIIIIIRRRRRRR. Meeting them is always good fun. Then suddenly they will introduce me to their mom and dad if they are around. This is the ‘Jaimit Sir’ that I told you about. Typically the parents will first think that I am just an acquaintance and then on being introduced will go ‘oh’. A little more respect will follow and sometimes a namaste. I see the respect suddenly grow. Full time pass it is. This is hardly a ego booster, but the love and comments that come in from the kids… now that’s a real ego booster.
I don’t think it’s easy to understand this. I don’t my family or friends can understand this. Jasmine is merely used to this. Meeting students in vague places. But I think the real warm feeling in my heart that makes it all worthwhile is indescribable and so very internal. I have been floating on mercury since Saturday. What was that density number – it was 13.6 something per somethingI think
One example was I think two years back. The company had commissioned a 360 degree feedback. While my results were being discussed with me, I could point at least 4 to 5 fundamental issues with eth survey that put it at risk to being analysed correctly. Even the consultant had no idea what hit him. I don’t think he had figured about the bias that had crept into the analysis. Very silly.
That’s what I tried teaching these guys. Have an open mind, understand the bias in a survey, understand methodology and listen to the respondent and then make your intelligent analysis. Just because a bias has crept into the survey is no reason why you must throw out the survey. You must merely read the survey while understanding in your mind the bias that could have gotten in. It’s really not that complicated doing research. Just an open mind and commonsense. Also thanks to the subject, I had to go through quite a few intellectual papers and recommend them. Also I realised the lovely effects of giving a paper and then taking a test on it before I start explaining it. most of these are self explanatory papers, with anyone with half a mind can decipher. The trick is in getting these guys to read them. So I merely made a small test on them and explained the papers while discussing the answers. Very useful.
Also this batch seemed to be more important to me as I got back to teaching after a longish break. For some reason I felt a connect with this bunch. Good bunch of guys. So when at the last I closed the class, I was a bit overwhelmed with the emotion and show of love from the class. Hugs and thanks all around.
The joy you feel on successful completion of a course, especially if it’s mentally draining is quite a bit. There was a weird type of joy I felt. I felt pangs of sadness as well. But I surely did revel in the outpouring of love. It was something else. I guess kids are simple things after all. Treat them with love and respect and get the same in return. There is nothing to it.
Here is part of the batch. Its a special one. (though I suspect that I will fell like this with all my batches when I take their last lecture)
The next part of the fun will start now. I will meet them in different places, in malls, in shops, in theatres etc. I will recognise some, some will look familiar and some will go SSSIIIIIIRRRRRRR. Meeting them is always good fun. Then suddenly they will introduce me to their mom and dad if they are around. This is the ‘Jaimit Sir’ that I told you about. Typically the parents will first think that I am just an acquaintance and then on being introduced will go ‘oh’. A little more respect will follow and sometimes a namaste. I see the respect suddenly grow. Full time pass it is. This is hardly a ego booster, but the love and comments that come in from the kids… now that’s a real ego booster.
I don’t think it’s easy to understand this. I don’t my family or friends can understand this. Jasmine is merely used to this. Meeting students in vague places. But I think the real warm feeling in my heart that makes it all worthwhile is indescribable and so very internal. I have been floating on mercury since Saturday. What was that density number – it was 13.6 something per somethingI think
Friday, March 12, 2010
its how you say it
Awesome awesome. long back at my mum’s place we saw this movie ‘pride’ about a swimming team, making it against all odds. The coach repairs a pool and makes a bunch of no hopers win the championships. In that he teaches the kids to swim. Cup your hands and reach out and hear your biceps, he keeps repeating. Nice movie that I saw along with Jispa. After that we have been telling her to do the same in her swimming.
Jasmine goes everyday with her to the swimming class. While Jispa is fast, when she is asked to swim fast she invariably makes smaller rapid arm movements and doesn’t stretch her hands. Jasmine tells her all the time, reach out and cup your hands. The penny never dropped.
In my swimming, I have been trying to coach myself as well. I am a self taught swimmer. V-inu and me went to Shivaji park and learn by watching what eth others did. I knew a bit as I used to swim in the third standard. The next time I got to swim was in FY Bcom. A gap of ten years. I obviously almost started on square zero. So these days I too have been teaching myself. Breathe out under water and breathe in on the fourth stroke. Then yes ‘cup your hands and reach out and hear your biceps’. These days I have been able to do it better. Otherwise, I would forget either the hands or forget to flap the legs or forget the breathing rhythm. The last few days I have been doing it well. In fact I have improved so much that today I could do 25m up and 25 m down with no break. Not bad. It also helps me go faster.
Two days back I had made the big jump in this where I could coordinate all of them pretty decent and go much faster. In the evening, I told Jispa, that you know what ‘I managed to go faster today. I cupped my hands and reache3d out and heard my biceps. I went so fast.’ “ya??” “yes. You know how I realised I was going faster? I saw the tiles below and saw the tiles move very fast suddenly. You should try it as well.”
Yesterday at dinner, she told me. “daddy. I was swimming today and suddenly remembered what you said. I started reaching out and cupping my hands. I wondering what happened and only when I came out of the water I realised that the others were still reaching the tiles. I went very fast” “yayy” “yayyyy”.
Bechari jasmine thak gayi bolte bolte. She didn’t do it at all. Just a reframing of the statement made an enormous impact. Even while I was about to say it, something told me that this will make her listen.
Jasmine goes everyday with her to the swimming class. While Jispa is fast, when she is asked to swim fast she invariably makes smaller rapid arm movements and doesn’t stretch her hands. Jasmine tells her all the time, reach out and cup your hands. The penny never dropped.
In my swimming, I have been trying to coach myself as well. I am a self taught swimmer. V-inu and me went to Shivaji park and learn by watching what eth others did. I knew a bit as I used to swim in the third standard. The next time I got to swim was in FY Bcom. A gap of ten years. I obviously almost started on square zero. So these days I too have been teaching myself. Breathe out under water and breathe in on the fourth stroke. Then yes ‘cup your hands and reach out and hear your biceps’. These days I have been able to do it better. Otherwise, I would forget either the hands or forget to flap the legs or forget the breathing rhythm. The last few days I have been doing it well. In fact I have improved so much that today I could do 25m up and 25 m down with no break. Not bad. It also helps me go faster.
Two days back I had made the big jump in this where I could coordinate all of them pretty decent and go much faster. In the evening, I told Jispa, that you know what ‘I managed to go faster today. I cupped my hands and reache3d out and heard my biceps. I went so fast.’ “ya??” “yes. You know how I realised I was going faster? I saw the tiles below and saw the tiles move very fast suddenly. You should try it as well.”
Yesterday at dinner, she told me. “daddy. I was swimming today and suddenly remembered what you said. I started reaching out and cupping my hands. I wondering what happened and only when I came out of the water I realised that the others were still reaching the tiles. I went very fast” “yayy” “yayyyy”.
Bechari jasmine thak gayi bolte bolte. She didn’t do it at all. Just a reframing of the statement made an enormous impact. Even while I was about to say it, something told me that this will make her listen.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
split weasel
Corporate life is pretty blase and irritatingly monotonous. It’s the standard blame game. Whenever an issue crops up, a person would see only a part of the story that proves that he is not responsible. Twist the case and its interpretation in such a way that the blame lies at someone else’s table.
At first I kept being the victim in all this. This was many years ago. Now at least I don’t get into these scams. You keep getting better at stopping a bomb and when someone hands you a bomb. But across the line it’s the same thing. Hand over the bomb. It happens so many times that its ceases to astonish. It merely amuses. New ways and the predictable patterns of the junta in passing it over. Standard catch phrases, weak excuses and sort. It is so blatant that I am sure both the originator and the receiver, both know its bull shitting origins but both choose to accept it. sometimes they both agree as it helps absolve both or it throws the shit on a common enemy or it saves face for both. Many times it’s just that the perpetrator is to powerful to really move or take action against. The judge merely wants any excuse to get rid of the complaint. Anything goes.
But this is not irritating. Shit like this happens all the time. Once you have sold your soul, don’t complain. If you are in Rome you will meet Romans .. eeek.. bad one that was… but the point is that this is an acceptable part of life and the sooner you realise this the better it is for you. Frustration quickly turns to amusement when you see the game. Sometimes you are in apposition to call it and sometimes you are in a position to fight it and sometimes merely watch on a as a spectator. The irritating goose for me is the guy who preaches. He preaches at every pretext. Calls everyone names. Openly expresses frustration at everyone’s hypocrisy, laments loudly, sighs and then… when it comes on him / her, uses the same trick in the book. Holier than though has a muddy coat. So much so that now I believe that if anyone says that they are holier than thou and laments on the state of affairs, they are worst types. Dhongi babas (fake gurus). Watch out for them. Sometimes I wonder if they know what they are doing. Do they actually have a good and bad side that does not talk to each other and does not see each other while the other one is in control. I don’t know.
I have come across genuine clean ones and genuine evil ones. Many times they have a clear idea of their true self and are at ease with it. These poor dhongi baba’s lament so realistically that I wonder if they genuinely have a split personality. Of course there are the dhongi’s that plan their show and face. They are real sinister ones. You might just not be able to make out. And when you see through them you hate them and avoid them. What to do with the inbetweens, the split personalities. Do you make friends with their good side and run on seeing the evil side. That’s not possible. They also don’t know when they will switch. Did Jekyll know when Hyde was around or vice versa?
At first I kept being the victim in all this. This was many years ago. Now at least I don’t get into these scams. You keep getting better at stopping a bomb and when someone hands you a bomb. But across the line it’s the same thing. Hand over the bomb. It happens so many times that its ceases to astonish. It merely amuses. New ways and the predictable patterns of the junta in passing it over. Standard catch phrases, weak excuses and sort. It is so blatant that I am sure both the originator and the receiver, both know its bull shitting origins but both choose to accept it. sometimes they both agree as it helps absolve both or it throws the shit on a common enemy or it saves face for both. Many times it’s just that the perpetrator is to powerful to really move or take action against. The judge merely wants any excuse to get rid of the complaint. Anything goes.
But this is not irritating. Shit like this happens all the time. Once you have sold your soul, don’t complain. If you are in Rome you will meet Romans .. eeek.. bad one that was… but the point is that this is an acceptable part of life and the sooner you realise this the better it is for you. Frustration quickly turns to amusement when you see the game. Sometimes you are in apposition to call it and sometimes you are in a position to fight it and sometimes merely watch on a as a spectator. The irritating goose for me is the guy who preaches. He preaches at every pretext. Calls everyone names. Openly expresses frustration at everyone’s hypocrisy, laments loudly, sighs and then… when it comes on him / her, uses the same trick in the book. Holier than though has a muddy coat. So much so that now I believe that if anyone says that they are holier than thou and laments on the state of affairs, they are worst types. Dhongi babas (fake gurus). Watch out for them. Sometimes I wonder if they know what they are doing. Do they actually have a good and bad side that does not talk to each other and does not see each other while the other one is in control. I don’t know.
I have come across genuine clean ones and genuine evil ones. Many times they have a clear idea of their true self and are at ease with it. These poor dhongi baba’s lament so realistically that I wonder if they genuinely have a split personality. Of course there are the dhongi’s that plan their show and face. They are real sinister ones. You might just not be able to make out. And when you see through them you hate them and avoid them. What to do with the inbetweens, the split personalities. Do you make friends with their good side and run on seeing the evil side. That’s not possible. They also don’t know when they will switch. Did Jekyll know when Hyde was around or vice versa?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
uneasy mind easy answers
I have had a slightly disturbed state of mind. I did not really sleep too well and couldn’t really do the yoga properly in the morning. Sometimes when there are too many things on your mind, it doesn’t really work out well. I think for me I need to be in control of the situation. If I don’t have too much control over it and depend on others then the uncertainty bugs me.
One factor was that I was planning for a vacation in June. I am planning to go up north and catch some camping and rafting. I invited some really cool ex students of mine who have the travel bug. They are now not really students but good friends. There is of course the small matter of them calling me sir. But it’s developed into a healthy relationship of almost equals. Ten years of age difference when they were 18 is not the same when they are 25. I love to see them all grown up. So while planning the trip the budget seems to coming up a little higher. Especially since some of them are salaried and just about so, I was a bit unhappy with the way the budget seems higher. I wouldn’t want them to spend a bit higher just because I am a little soft and want to stay in slightly better camps. So that was one thing that got me thinking and sleeping while thinking is always a bad idea.
The second thing is that my team is under some stress. I have largely left them alone for the recent past and some issues seem to be coming up. There is a little bit of uncertainty and change involved with one person shifting to a new role outside of my team but within the company. There are other signs that foretell of a simmer within. Like the look that I got yesterday when I asked them to pack up for the day. They did not like it. Funny. It should be the other way around in normal times. Probably I might have missed a vibe or a sign or I might have been too arrogant, too sure or plain too lazy to see some signals coming. So that got me a bit disturbed. Its been playing on my mind since yesterday. And with this trip planning thing, my head is a bit muddled.
But like everything else, when its muddles you attack the issue and close it, at least mentally. So first thing I started attacking the budget issue with travel. With that out of the way I started attacking the team issue. a few chats, a little introspection etc later… it is time to go back to basics. Keep the objective right. Keep the employee interest in your mind, give them the benefit of doubt. Internally change. This can work when you have faith in the employee core. I have faith in my team. Its been painstakingly difficult to build and I am justifiably proud of them and my ability to build them. Of course having a dose of luck helped but there has been considerable effort to bring them together and happy and pushing them to perform.
So Doing what I do best. I cleaned the white board. My big whiteboard that is behind me is where I write down all the work that has to be done . it’s a simple case of KRA setting. KRA? Key result areas. One of my bosses just decided to implement this for his core team and hence even for my team. I was smiling as I have always led teams by wrtiien down KRA’s. only we did not call them that and we did not have a long drawn out process for them. We called it managing by white board. The to do’s are written down on the white board. You come for a meeting and I will only talk about the stuff written down. If it’s not written, don’t do it. Complete clarity of what is required to be done by me and you.
Hence when its time to get back to basics, I clean the whiteboard. Playing eth shiva from the trinity is sometimes critical. Time to time the board gets outdated and boring. It needs a fresh perspective and a fresh look. It can’t be done by keeping the stuff there. So call in the housekeeping. Yes only in India can you call housekeeping to wipe the board clean. I have blogged about this before. He came and did a cleaning that is in a way metaphorical and symbolic. And here you are. Clean board, clean mind.
I have taken pains to build the team and I am not going to let it go down so easily. I am still here and I am still in charge. I can’t be bogged down by this for long.
Many years ago in the MBA entrance interviews, I had tried to practice good answers to bad questions. One was name your good qualities. One word I had liked then and realise its significance now – resilience.
It’s by luck I chanced upon it. I think if you tell yourself enough about something, your minds will actually believe it and act it.
One factor was that I was planning for a vacation in June. I am planning to go up north and catch some camping and rafting. I invited some really cool ex students of mine who have the travel bug. They are now not really students but good friends. There is of course the small matter of them calling me sir. But it’s developed into a healthy relationship of almost equals. Ten years of age difference when they were 18 is not the same when they are 25. I love to see them all grown up. So while planning the trip the budget seems to coming up a little higher. Especially since some of them are salaried and just about so, I was a bit unhappy with the way the budget seems higher. I wouldn’t want them to spend a bit higher just because I am a little soft and want to stay in slightly better camps. So that was one thing that got me thinking and sleeping while thinking is always a bad idea.
The second thing is that my team is under some stress. I have largely left them alone for the recent past and some issues seem to be coming up. There is a little bit of uncertainty and change involved with one person shifting to a new role outside of my team but within the company. There are other signs that foretell of a simmer within. Like the look that I got yesterday when I asked them to pack up for the day. They did not like it. Funny. It should be the other way around in normal times. Probably I might have missed a vibe or a sign or I might have been too arrogant, too sure or plain too lazy to see some signals coming. So that got me a bit disturbed. Its been playing on my mind since yesterday. And with this trip planning thing, my head is a bit muddled.
But like everything else, when its muddles you attack the issue and close it, at least mentally. So first thing I started attacking the budget issue with travel. With that out of the way I started attacking the team issue. a few chats, a little introspection etc later… it is time to go back to basics. Keep the objective right. Keep the employee interest in your mind, give them the benefit of doubt. Internally change. This can work when you have faith in the employee core. I have faith in my team. Its been painstakingly difficult to build and I am justifiably proud of them and my ability to build them. Of course having a dose of luck helped but there has been considerable effort to bring them together and happy and pushing them to perform.
So Doing what I do best. I cleaned the white board. My big whiteboard that is behind me is where I write down all the work that has to be done . it’s a simple case of KRA setting. KRA? Key result areas. One of my bosses just decided to implement this for his core team and hence even for my team. I was smiling as I have always led teams by wrtiien down KRA’s. only we did not call them that and we did not have a long drawn out process for them. We called it managing by white board. The to do’s are written down on the white board. You come for a meeting and I will only talk about the stuff written down. If it’s not written, don’t do it. Complete clarity of what is required to be done by me and you.
Hence when its time to get back to basics, I clean the whiteboard. Playing eth shiva from the trinity is sometimes critical. Time to time the board gets outdated and boring. It needs a fresh perspective and a fresh look. It can’t be done by keeping the stuff there. So call in the housekeeping. Yes only in India can you call housekeeping to wipe the board clean. I have blogged about this before. He came and did a cleaning that is in a way metaphorical and symbolic. And here you are. Clean board, clean mind.
I have taken pains to build the team and I am not going to let it go down so easily. I am still here and I am still in charge. I can’t be bogged down by this for long.
Many years ago in the MBA entrance interviews, I had tried to practice good answers to bad questions. One was name your good qualities. One word I had liked then and realise its significance now – resilience.
It’s by luck I chanced upon it. I think if you tell yourself enough about something, your minds will actually believe it and act it.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
halo
Meetings meetings meetings. Every time in meetings the equation evolves. First came the cell phones. People used to keep their cell phones on. Now these days it is generally seen as a thing to be frowned upon. Then the guys started putting their cell phones on silent. But they started picking the calls while standing in the corner of the room, yet disturbing everybody. Now they too have learnt. The acceptable practice is to walk out of the room if you have an urgent call to take. Then you had the blackberry revolution. People accessing mails on their phones in meetings. The problem is so chronic that in some meetings one boss of mine started asking for cell phones to be deposited in one corner so that no is disturbed by them. You cant access the phones at all. Cool nah!
But one specific development has to be the most blatant one of them. The humble laptop. Actually it’s the arrogant laptop with wireless net connectivity. Bloody hell. Today in a meeting at least five guys were with their laptops open. How arrogant can you get? So you blatantly work on your mails or anything while a presentation is on. How on earth is that acceptable? To my mind its worse than a cell phone ringing. You are in a meeting only physically while mentally you have compeletly switched off.
While I understand this happening in really long meetings but today was a two hour meeting with specific agenda and matters were being discussed that added value to a business instantly. Dam it. They use the laptop screen as a charade in front of your face. It probably hides the dumbness of person in question and attempts to look smarter than one actually is. Sometimes a laptop is usefull when everybody is discussing numbers and everyone has a number to refer to or some sort of thing like that. but most of the time its nothing.
There is this one guy that I see all the time in every meeting with a laptop in front of him. Even small meetings. What does he do on it? I am curious. I am sure he is not writing the minutes. I guess it’s his security blanket. He never contributes in the meetings. He is silent and staring at his laptop screen. I assume he thinks that the glow from his screen in a dark room will add a touch of halo to his persona.
But one specific development has to be the most blatant one of them. The humble laptop. Actually it’s the arrogant laptop with wireless net connectivity. Bloody hell. Today in a meeting at least five guys were with their laptops open. How arrogant can you get? So you blatantly work on your mails or anything while a presentation is on. How on earth is that acceptable? To my mind its worse than a cell phone ringing. You are in a meeting only physically while mentally you have compeletly switched off.
While I understand this happening in really long meetings but today was a two hour meeting with specific agenda and matters were being discussed that added value to a business instantly. Dam it. They use the laptop screen as a charade in front of your face. It probably hides the dumbness of person in question and attempts to look smarter than one actually is. Sometimes a laptop is usefull when everybody is discussing numbers and everyone has a number to refer to or some sort of thing like that. but most of the time its nothing.
There is this one guy that I see all the time in every meeting with a laptop in front of him. Even small meetings. What does he do on it? I am curious. I am sure he is not writing the minutes. I guess it’s his security blanket. He never contributes in the meetings. He is silent and staring at his laptop screen. I assume he thinks that the glow from his screen in a dark room will add a touch of halo to his persona.
Monday, March 08, 2010
what a racquet
Jispa has been improving in her badminton class and her coach has asked us to get her a new light racquet. We went to town and got one for her. A yonex full graphite racquet. I thought that was overkill for her. But it cost around 900 (MRP 1500). I wanted to buy something cheaper but jasmine was keen on buying something nice. My theory is that her game hasn’t really reached a level where it would have made a difference and a slightly cheaper one might be the right thing for her. Whatever. But since there was hardly a price differential, we bought it nevertheless. Life has changed and how. When we came in from Dubai to Mumbai in 4th standard, we had a cultural shock of depravation. India had third grade equipment and epically in sports it was pathetic. My dad played sports in Dubai and we got along to India, some of his equipment such as tennis, TT and badminton racquets. In India mom went hyper and stored these racquets in the cupboard, safe from our eyes and hands. That Yonex racquet was only meant to see and feel, not play and spoil. I guess its still lying in her cupboard hiding somewhere. It must feeling bad that it has grown old without seeing too much sunlight. Even the tennis racquets have become obsolete now. One was a Wilson wooden frame racquet. She might probably get some cash from Sothbeys for it. I don’t think she ever realised that India would grow to be a land of relative plenty. The way these racquets are kept in a shop a metro, they almost look like vegetables. We used to remove the Yonnex racquet from the cupboard when mom was not at home, swing it around, smell it etc etc and put it back. I never dared to play with it. Jispa was excited on getting a new racquet. That too with a cover, full body cover. She was pretty happy. A new piece of equipment is always cherished and if used well and happens to grow old with you, it will be cherished even more. What an emotion. I grew up with very little of these. I felt happy and excited when I bought myself a pair of new gloves around five years ago. I loved buying my batting pads as well. Now they are old but I am at loathe to get rid of it. I have been rapped on it many times and they are in many ways my saviours. How can I discard them in such a hurry and simply but new ones? Sacrilege!
On another note, we saw this movie on Friday -“Road, movie”. This was before the reviews came in the papers. Any movie with Abhay Deol, would be an interesting watch. At least it would be different. Well this one was different. It had very nice characters and some amazing shots of the Rann of Kutch…. Er. That’s it. We did not understand anything more about it. It was an 11 pm show and Jasmine toh even slept through parts of it. We had a bunch of Gujju guys behind. They were probably on their bachelors’ night out and their commentary was constant and irritating. If they got a joke they would repeat it and translate it for their peers. Oh man, really tiresome. These movies must have a warning for these gujjus. So what’s the verdict on the movie? I don’t know. It was nice but weird. The next day I attempted to understand it through the critics, but sadly they were even more pathetic. I guess when you make such movies that supposed to be arty not but too complicated for any one to really understand, they tend to get such reviews. I guess no one wants to call the emperor naked for fearing of exposing their own stupidity. Like the TOI who gave it a good rating but said it does not have any story. I thought a story is central to a movie. Good locales and scenery is meant for a gallery release not a mainline theatre. But hell. Go see it. It is difficult to dislike but it is also difficult to fathom or comprehend. A real mixed bag.
On another note, we saw this movie on Friday -“Road, movie”. This was before the reviews came in the papers. Any movie with Abhay Deol, would be an interesting watch. At least it would be different. Well this one was different. It had very nice characters and some amazing shots of the Rann of Kutch…. Er. That’s it. We did not understand anything more about it. It was an 11 pm show and Jasmine toh even slept through parts of it. We had a bunch of Gujju guys behind. They were probably on their bachelors’ night out and their commentary was constant and irritating. If they got a joke they would repeat it and translate it for their peers. Oh man, really tiresome. These movies must have a warning for these gujjus. So what’s the verdict on the movie? I don’t know. It was nice but weird. The next day I attempted to understand it through the critics, but sadly they were even more pathetic. I guess when you make such movies that supposed to be arty not but too complicated for any one to really understand, they tend to get such reviews. I guess no one wants to call the emperor naked for fearing of exposing their own stupidity. Like the TOI who gave it a good rating but said it does not have any story. I thought a story is central to a movie. Good locales and scenery is meant for a gallery release not a mainline theatre. But hell. Go see it. It is difficult to dislike but it is also difficult to fathom or comprehend. A real mixed bag.
Friday, March 05, 2010
the blind spot
Arrogance almost cost me something very important and good. HR sent a mail saying that they are organising a yoga class which will be held in the premises. Which was very good according to me. Then I read on … it said that the yoga class will cost some amount. They did not disclose the amount.
“Hence please rush & send in your entries to the following mail id latest by February 08, 2010. Please note that participation will be on a first come first serve basis. This opportunity comes to you at a small price which we will let you know shortly.”
The amount never came in. I was like what on earth. How can you expect me to respond when you don’t tell me what the amount is? Tch tch what arrogance. Then one of my team members who had enrolled came to me and said that she had enrolled and it was around 700 bucks. She urged me to enrol. I sent a mail to one of the HR personnel and left it at that. No response. I didn’t pursue it much further. More arrogance. I had sent the mail nah!
Then I came to know that the class was full. 20 slots were all taken. After a couple of classes I asked around and found that hardly seven to eight regularly attend. There was room. I barged in one day and started attending the sessions. Lets see who has the balls to throw me out.
Nobody did. It has already made an impact in my life. My back feels much better. Soon enough HR reconciled and added me in and I paid the fees today. Cool nah?
My arrogance almost cost me a berth but my resilience bailed me out. Bach gaya saala.
Sometimes in our arrogance we don’t realise what we end up missing. Our arrogance in making the first move – “she should say something nah!” Our arrogance in ignoring advice, etc etc. my own personal arrogance that I fight daily because I read a lot so I think I know a lot. Our arrogance does not let us enjoy movies, plays or even simple things in life.
I have to and I will fight it daily and everywhere. I must.
“Hence please rush & send in your entries to the following mail id latest by February 08, 2010. Please note that participation will be on a first come first serve basis. This opportunity comes to you at a small price which we will let you know shortly.”
The amount never came in. I was like what on earth. How can you expect me to respond when you don’t tell me what the amount is? Tch tch what arrogance. Then one of my team members who had enrolled came to me and said that she had enrolled and it was around 700 bucks. She urged me to enrol. I sent a mail to one of the HR personnel and left it at that. No response. I didn’t pursue it much further. More arrogance. I had sent the mail nah!
Then I came to know that the class was full. 20 slots were all taken. After a couple of classes I asked around and found that hardly seven to eight regularly attend. There was room. I barged in one day and started attending the sessions. Lets see who has the balls to throw me out.
Nobody did. It has already made an impact in my life. My back feels much better. Soon enough HR reconciled and added me in and I paid the fees today. Cool nah?
My arrogance almost cost me a berth but my resilience bailed me out. Bach gaya saala.
Sometimes in our arrogance we don’t realise what we end up missing. Our arrogance in making the first move – “she should say something nah!” Our arrogance in ignoring advice, etc etc. my own personal arrogance that I fight daily because I read a lot so I think I know a lot. Our arrogance does not let us enjoy movies, plays or even simple things in life.
I have to and I will fight it daily and everywhere. I must.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
sawal ka jawab
This is a painting that Jispa was doing in MS paint.
This is what she was also doing and she emailed this to me via her mommy.
So I also replied thus
Those who don’t get it – go here
This is what she was also doing and she emailed this to me via her mommy.
So I also replied thusThose who don’t get it – go here
profoundipity
One of my regular readers was talking to me the other day about my blog. How she reads it everyday and how she likes to have coffee (or was it tea) while reading it. It is her two bit of reading before she gets into work… and other such similar stuff. She had one complaint though, or should I say feedback. She says that I nowadays write too short and there is no gyan there. She urges me to write something profound.
Well profound is not a rabbit that I can pull off from my hat but it is as a result of something that might have happened to me or something that made me see light of day. That doesn’t happen everyday. Also after you simply life largely, you get less and less stuff that’s profound. It’s like the ultimate truth, once you know it, there is nothing more to learn. Not that I know the ultimate truth but things have surely simplified for me over the years.
The ultimate strength of your truth is the fact that you keep applying often to many and varied situations. These help you ratify your theories and strengthen them. They then aecome the basis for your actions. Now here I do not pass a value judgement on these theories. Now of my colleagues was talking about an ex boss who happened to be my college friend. My colleague and I had complete opposite images of the person. It seems like he was the greatest guy in college who went on to sell his soul to the corporate devil. What happened? I answered that possibly he encountered corporate life and realised that this place stinks and he would have seen no option but to sell his soul. His must have learnt something along the way.
So each to his own truth.
Yesterday I got pissed at the stress levels in my team. Unwittingly they had gotten them selves into a position that made them forget balance and were sitting till late everyday. I gave one short terse lecture on leaving office at 6 everyday and that I need to know specifically if anything was keeping them at office. A small nudge on this was provided by one KRA mail that was sent by the boss. One of the division’s KRA was to make ours the best place to work. I see it as one in the line of empty statements. I believe that making this statement is useless; you have to believe and act accordingly. And if you believe in it, it should have been done and there is no point making the statement. But whatever the wisdom, if the statement is made, I am going to be the guy trying to make it work in some manner in my control. Hence the tirade…
On another profound note (dedicated to that earlier mentioned reader). I go for swimming in the morning. Some of the kiddie champs finish about the time I get in. one of the boys (around 12 years) was in the shower. The door is open. He is there standing under the shower with his trunks on. He is just there. He is not moving. The shower is just falling on his back. The steam is coming from it and he is just there not moving, simply staring. A typical 12 year old to bored to really shower. I am looking at him. No movement, just a stand and stare. For some reason I reach out and close his shower cabin door and he wakes up from his stupor. He quickly comes out and starts drying himself. He wet his bum. That was his shower after the swim. Kid, I mumble to myself.
What was profound about that? You dip in the water and sharpen it again and again, o kaalia I read your mind.
Well profound is not a rabbit that I can pull off from my hat but it is as a result of something that might have happened to me or something that made me see light of day. That doesn’t happen everyday. Also after you simply life largely, you get less and less stuff that’s profound. It’s like the ultimate truth, once you know it, there is nothing more to learn. Not that I know the ultimate truth but things have surely simplified for me over the years.
The ultimate strength of your truth is the fact that you keep applying often to many and varied situations. These help you ratify your theories and strengthen them. They then aecome the basis for your actions. Now here I do not pass a value judgement on these theories. Now of my colleagues was talking about an ex boss who happened to be my college friend. My colleague and I had complete opposite images of the person. It seems like he was the greatest guy in college who went on to sell his soul to the corporate devil. What happened? I answered that possibly he encountered corporate life and realised that this place stinks and he would have seen no option but to sell his soul. His must have learnt something along the way.
So each to his own truth.
Yesterday I got pissed at the stress levels in my team. Unwittingly they had gotten them selves into a position that made them forget balance and were sitting till late everyday. I gave one short terse lecture on leaving office at 6 everyday and that I need to know specifically if anything was keeping them at office. A small nudge on this was provided by one KRA mail that was sent by the boss. One of the division’s KRA was to make ours the best place to work. I see it as one in the line of empty statements. I believe that making this statement is useless; you have to believe and act accordingly. And if you believe in it, it should have been done and there is no point making the statement. But whatever the wisdom, if the statement is made, I am going to be the guy trying to make it work in some manner in my control. Hence the tirade…
On another profound note (dedicated to that earlier mentioned reader). I go for swimming in the morning. Some of the kiddie champs finish about the time I get in. one of the boys (around 12 years) was in the shower. The door is open. He is there standing under the shower with his trunks on. He is just there. He is not moving. The shower is just falling on his back. The steam is coming from it and he is just there not moving, simply staring. A typical 12 year old to bored to really shower. I am looking at him. No movement, just a stand and stare. For some reason I reach out and close his shower cabin door and he wakes up from his stupor. He quickly comes out and starts drying himself. He wet his bum. That was his shower after the swim. Kid, I mumble to myself.
What was profound about that? You dip in the water and sharpen it again and again, o kaalia I read your mind.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)